DC : Crisis of infinite hunger : Chapter 11

Chapter 11 : Titanic trouble

The double doors to the main living area of Titans Tower slid open with a hiss, but the sound was lost under the cacophony of crinkling paper bags, rustling boxes, and a loud crunch as Wally West bit into a fry before they even entered the room. Donna Troy, Nightwing, and Wally shuffled in, carrying an overwhelming amount of food. The smell of burgers, pizza, fries, and sugary milkshakes filled the space almost instantly.

“Alright, Titans,” Wally said, voice muffled by a half-eaten burger. “Your hero has arrived—with provisions!” He proudly held up a bag, grease seeping through its bottom.

Donna smirked, nudging him with her hip. “You’re not fooling anyone, Wally. We all know half of that’s for you.”

“More like most of it,” Nightwing muttered, struggling to balance his share of the haul as his belly brushed against the table edge.

Donna set down her food with a huff and stretched, her starry costume straining across her figure. Her silver belt visibly struggled to stay in place, her chest practically spilling out of her top with each heavy breath. “It’s for all of us,” she insisted, though she immediately snagged a box of fries and a burger, her tone more playful than defensive.

“Not the best way to lead by example, Wonder Girl,” came Raven’s sharp voice from across the room. She stood with her arms crossed, watching the trio like an exasperated babysitter.

Nightwing dropped onto the couch with a loud thump, his widened hips spilling over the sides. He groaned and rubbed his back theatrically. “Ugh, Rae, could you not?”

“Could you not?” Raven’s eyes flared briefly with dark energy. “Don’t even start with me, Dick. You got stuck in the elevator last week, and I had to practically reshape reality to pull you out!” She then whirled on Donna. “And you, your boobs popped out of your costume during the last mission! In front of reporters!”

Donna at least had the grace to look embarrassed. “That… wasn’t entirely my fault…”

“Wasn’t it?” Raven snapped. “You insisted on squeezing into that top, even though you knew it couldn’t handle all this.” She gestured broadly at Donna’s figure, particularly her chest.

“Okay, okay, we get it,” Nightwing interjected, holding up a burger in surrender. “Mistakes were made. But in my defense, that elevator was already old—”

“It wasn’t the elevator,” Raven interrupted icily. “It was you and your… cargo.” She gestured pointedly at his massive belly and even larger backside.

“Cargo?” Nightwing feigned offense, leaning back and patting his stomach. “I’ll have you know, this is tactical weight. Keeps me grounded during a fight.”

“Grounded? You couldn't even do a flip last mission!”

Wally burst out laughing, spraying crumbs everywhere. “She’s got a point, dude. Remember when you tried to swing on that chandelier and it snapped?”

“Yeah? Well, at least I don’t eat like the Tasmanian Devil,” Nightwing shot back. “Pretty sure I saw you scarf down six pizzas by yourself last night.”

“Seven,” Wally corrected smugly, polishing off his fries. “And I regret nothing.”

Raven groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. “How is this my life? You’re all supposed to be superheroes.”

Starfire, who had been silently observing the argument, tilted her head curiously. “Friend Raven, perhaps they are simply… evolving? On Tamaran, increased size often signifies strength and status.”

“Yeah, no, that’s not what’s happening here,” Raven deadpanned.

Donna finally spoke up, her tone calm but firm. “Raven, I get it. You’re frustrated. But we’ve been through worse than this before. We’re still the Titans, weight or no weight.”

Raven raised an eyebrow. “Are you really trying to give me a motivational speech with a slice of pizza in one hand and fries in the other?”

Donna blinked, then looked down at her hands sheepishly. “Uh… maybe?”

“This is ridiculous,” Raven muttered, throwing her hands up. “You’re supposed to be role models, but instead you’re acting like gluttons at a buffet.”

“Hey, I resemble that remark,” Wally said, shoving another handful of fries into his mouth.

“Wally, stop talking,” Raven hissed.

Nightwing chuckled, leaning back into the couch as much as his bulk would allow. “Come on, Rae. You gotta admit, we’re still pretty awesome. Just, you know… bigger.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Raven glared. “If by ‘awesome’ you mean ‘utterly useless,’ then sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night, Dick.”

Starfire finally stepped forward. “Perhaps we should focus less on our appearance and more on our teamwork,” she said gently.

“Thank you, Kory,” Raven said with a sigh of relief. “Finally, some sense.”

“Although,” Starfire continued, her tone thoughtful, “it is fascinating how much larger Richard’s posterior has become. It is quite… impressive.”

“Not helping, Star,” Raven muttered, facepalming.

Nightwing, however, grinned. “See, Rae? Star gets it. This is peak form.”

Raven sighed deeply, her shoulders slumping. “If any of you get stuck in another elevator—or anywhere else—don’t call me. I’m done.”

“Noted,” Wally said, already unwrapping another burger.

“Good,” Raven replied flatly. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have actual work to do.” She turned and stormed off, muttering something about finding new teammates.

As Raven and Starfire left, the trio exchanged amused looks, then dove back into their food with renewed enthusiasm.

“Think she’ll ever lighten up?” Wally asked through a mouthful of fries.

“Doubt it,” Donna said, reaching for another slice of pizza.

“Eh, her loss,” Nightwing added with a shrug, patting his belly contentedly. “More for us.”