Apocalypse: 2.3 Burnout

Preface

I know, I know. I see you.

Burnout 2.3

August 2015

Following my physical exam and meeting with the gloom, I spent the next day with my pokemon and the poochyena. As cute as the pups were, this was more a necessity rather than a choice. I had to check in on the pups.

As much as they followed my orders, they weren’t my pokemon, as proven by the System’s lack of mention. They recognized me as an “alpha” of sorts, someone to be respected and obeyed, but I didn’t have the same bond with them that I shared with Rocket. I needed to constantly be present to provide a reminder of why I ought to be followed.

It was probably because they lacked a trainer at all. I’d hoped that if I left them mostly to their own devices, they’d imprint on one of the rangers. Then, the town would have two more trainers.

That wasn’t what happened. The poochyena hunted with us, but in the same way ravens sometimes hunted with wolves. It wasn’t strange for those wicked-smart birds to cry out when they spotted prey, allowing the wolves to bring down bigger game. In the same way, the two pups helped some of our rangers find rabbits and squirrels and such, and were rewarded for it with a portion of the kill.

That was well and good, but before I knew it, they’d settled into a happy medium in which the poochyena weren’t exactly wild, but they weren’t partner pokemon either. The relationship was thoroughly transactional, information in exchange for food; they didn’t much care which ranger did the wrangling.

Their relationship wasn’t advancing like this. Or, it was advancing too slowly for my liking. I’d hoped that, because the poochyena were dog-like, they would bond quickly. And, because they were generally seen as “weak” pokemon that evolved early in the games, we could have mightyena for ourselves by the end of the winter.

I’d been too busy to take notice until now. I’d done my best to comfort Sabrina, make sure Austin wasn’t suicidally depressed, and kept a steady schedule of rangings to keep the town supplied with protein, all while training Rocket for the dungeon. It was only now that I’d returned that I had the spare minutes in my day to think about this, but this could be a problem.

What if the poochyena evolved? What if we had a pair of mightyena on our hands by winter, just as I’d projected? They could be amazing additions to the town, but only if I could be sure of their loyalty. If not, then we would quite literally be inviting the wolves into our walls.

I couldn’t take them. I just didn’t have the bandwidth to pay attention to two, energetic puppies on top of all my other duties. Even were I so inclined, Sir Swagsire was plenty of work on his own.

What I could do was to lead by example. I wanted the pair to watch me and my pokemon. I wanted them to see how well Rocket and I worked as a team. Most of all, I wanted them to see how much stronger Rocket was thanks to me.

Basically, I was rubbing our relationship in their faces: “See how much stronger you could be with a dedicated trainer? Why don’t you have one yet? Are you really satisfied with just a portion of the kill when you could be so much more?

To that end, I played with them all day. I then packed my bags once more, this time for just a day or two. I wanted Rocket to bring down something big, maybe an elk, or even a couple stantler.

I did my rounds and informed everyone I’d be gone for another few days. Neither Sabrina nor Jarvis were happy about it, but when I explained, they reluctantly agreed. I’d leave once again at dawn, and they’d postpone the town hall meeting another few days.

The threat of arrogant and destructive mightyena high off their new evolutions wasn’t immediate, but we agreed that it was best to get on top of this while we could. When I came back, I planned to take a few of my more reliable rangers aside to ask them to adopt the pups on a more permanent basis.

X

Rocket

Shane was spreading himself too thin, something I’d heard the humans say. They had the most curious ways of expressing themselves. I had no idea where that particular phrase started, since humans couldn’t spread themselves at all as far as I knew, but it got the meaning across.

He was the leader of the humans, the less useless variety called the rangers. He was even acknowledged by the Origin of All now. But instead of taking the time to rest, he was already preparing himself for another hunt.

I didn’t disagree on principle. The den of humans could be frustrating. When we first arrived, they whispered with suspicion, as if my keen ears could not hear them. And when Shane and I saved them from the crustle, the pampering soon became equally stifling. Worst of all, I was pretty sure some of the human pups had gotten it into their heads that petting me or touching my tail was some great act of bravery.

I did not need scritches. Only Shane, and on occasion Sabrina, could give me scritches. The former, I accepted as the rightful tribute for my gloriously fluffy self. The latter, I tolerated.

I was happy to head out in the morning, but the reason annoyed me. The poochyena pups ought to have chosen worthy trainers by this point, not amble around aimlessly like headless pidgey. Now, they were one more responsibility Shane felt he needed to deal with.

“Boss Rocket! What are we hunting? Are we going to chase the big-horns?” one of the pups asked. He jumped around like a lunatic, tail wagging so quickly I was sure some humans couldn’t see it.

The other, a female who was slightly larger than her twin, sniffed dispassionately. “You mean Boss will chase the big-horns. We’re just coming along to watch, so cool it.”

“You don’t know that. We helped distract the dwebble last time. We could do something similar, trade off using Roar.”

“Yeah, right. Boss Shane will probably have an arrow through its eye before we even get the chance to do anything. And that’s if Boss Rocket doesn’t rip out its throat.”

I shook my head. The two were like night and day. Neither had names, that was only for humans who couldn’t tell them apart by scent or aura. The male was so hyperactive that if I hadn’t been told, I would have thought he was the younger one. He was friendly with everyone, much like a growlithe, and even played with the human pups on occasion.

In contrast, the female was a cool customer, seemingly uninterested in anything. She reminded me of an aloof meowth, one that slunk around in the outskirts, only to sneak in and steal a few, choice morsels when the humans weren’t looking. Actually, that was exactly what she liked to do.

Between the two of them, I thought she was the more representative of their dark typing. Either way, the two complemented one another and despite their constant bickering, they worked well as a team.

“We’ll see,” I growled. They were too cute to be annoyed at for long. “You’re right though. Shane says we’ll be going for bigger prey. And, we’ll only have one or two days to do it, the faster the better.”

“How are we supposed to do that? Just finding a scent could take that long,” the smaller pup said.

“So this is a tracking lesson on top of a killing lesson? Neat,” his sister observed.

I nodded. “That’s right. It’s going to be a challenge even for me. Watch carefully. Someday soon, you’ll have a human trainer of your own and you’ll be able to do this, too.”

“Okay, but what’s up with those two?”

“Who?”

“The not-food bird and not-food wooper.”

“Scout and Sir Swagsire. They’re on my team, too. They’re pack,” I stressed. “And Swagsire can hear you fine.”

“Indeed I can, young one,” the wooper said. He poked his head out of Shane’s backpack and offered the pups a smile. “I have no interest in hunting, but this big chap has decided that I am too poisonous to be left alone.”

“Good. Some of the human pups might get it in their heads to pet you.”

“You mean like they pet you?”

“Don’t get me started. You’re lucky you can sting.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I don’t think I’d mind the little ones.”

“What are you doing up there, Sir Swagsire?” the male pup asked curiously.

“Why, our fearless leader has asked that I concentrate my poison. ‘Toxic,’ he called it. He gave me a little jar to put it all in, you see. I can’t do it very quickly now, but I suspect I’ll have the move down sooner rather than later.”

I nodded along. “Yeah, that sounds like Shane. He’ll have you training even when you’re stuck in a sac.”

“It’s quite comfy in here, I’ll have you know. Besides, it’s almost my bedtime.”

I left him to it. He was crepuscular, a fancy word that Sabrina-woman said meant he preferred to be active during dawn and dusk. He’d probably practice condensing his poison for a bit before going to sleep, only to wake up around suppertime.

The six of us headed out into the forest. The morning sun shone down on us merrily, leaving a pleasant warmth over my fur. I wasn’t sure if Shane noticed, but his steps had gotten lighter since he’d evolved.

That was what it was, an evolution. He didn’t look any different, but he’d changed. He and that old human spent most of yesterday doing all sorts of things to test himself, but I had a feeling they’d missed the most important part: me.

And the bird. And the fish-thing. But mostly me.

The bond between us, that ever-present tether of aura, was stronger now, bolstered by the weight of our shared experiences. Before, it was a tenuous thing, so fragile that it sometimes felt like a spider thread. The connection was more robust now.

He may not have been able to feel this shift, but I could feel it in every command he gave. His intent carried through in a way it hadn’t before. Just as I grew stronger, he himself was being changed by the aura.

Shane opted to take us down the mountain. For a moment, I worried that we’d head back towards where the dungeon remained. There was a cave we hadn’t explored where I was certain an apex predator dwelt. I was glad that he wasn’t that stupid. We weren’t ready for an opponent like that.

Instead, we headed in the opposite direction. There was a small plateau about a third of the way down that had a lonely ranger outpost built on it. The human roads that wound around the mountain made it easy to travel; we reached the outpost by noon.

We’d not been out this way before, but many of the other humans liked to use it as a temporary shelter. We waited a minute for Shane to set down his supplies before heading out.

“Let’s see if we can find any tracks. Moose, elk, that sort of thing,” he said. “I wouldn’t say no to bear or stantler either, though I doubt a stantler would let itself get caught out without its herd.”

I flicked my tail in agreement. I had nothing against consuming other pokemon. Spearow were delicious, especially when smoked with paprika then roasted alongside wild garlic. We were intelligent, but intelligence did not afford us a special exception from the laws of nature. If anything, it just made us riskier, and therefore more interesting, participants in this great game called life.

I didn’t know what Shane felt, but I was excited. Outside the town walls, I was in my element. A dozen scents tickled my nose, a world only I could perceive. I wished I could share my perception with Shane, in the same way he shared his aura with me.

Between the two of us, finding a lead took no time at all. Shane first noticed several trees that had been stripped of their bark, roughly at shoulder-height to him. He led us off the manmade trail until we came across a thinner, far more natural path.

“This is a game trail,” he said. He scooped both pups up by their bellies and held them up so they could see the scraped trees. “See this? This sometimes happens when horned animals like deer, moose, and elk force themselves through the thicket. I know you pokemon can probably smell exactly what animal did that, but this is how us humans know what’s in the area.”

“Pretty cool, boss,” the male pup said. “I think I smell the big-horns from here.”

“Yeah, that’s right. All we gotta do from here is walk the game trail until you two or Rocket catch their scent.”

That wasn’t quite what the pup said, but it was close enough. Shane was getting better at understanding us.

We spent the next few hours teaching them how to hunt. Or really, I taught them while Shane worked with Scout. That was the biggest thing to know when it came to having a trainer: Shane took every opportunity to train us in one way or another.

Scout could have found us bigger game easily, but that would defeat the purpose of this training trip. He was only supposed to tell us if there was imminent danger.

Instead, Shane had him weaving between branches to improve his agility and stamina. He was pretty lacking in the latter. 

Even lecturing the pups on the finer points of scent tracking, it didn’t take me long to find a moose. It was massive, its shoulder standing taller than even Shane. I wouldn’t have been surprised to find it outweighed me a hundredfold.

Shane looked at it, then down at the pups. “Go on, give it a try.”

“W-What?” the larger of the two stammered, her composure shaken. “You don’t mean–”

“Now, fair warning, this is mating season for most animals. Moose, especially bull moose like that one, become really aggressive and territorial. But that’s no trouble for you two, right?”

“I know this is supposed to be training, but–”

“I mean, that there’s just a regular, dumb animal. You two are pokemon, and there are two of you. You obviously have the advantage here.”

I buried my snout in the dirt to keep from busting out laughing as he egged them on. Shane was right. Normally, animals were not a threat to pokemon; we were intelligent, had moves far stronger than our size would suggest, and aura made us supernaturally durable.

But he’d also been the one to teach me about these woods when I was a wee, little zigzagoon. While everything he said was right, the version he’d taught me came with a slight addendum. Chiefly, “That there’s a moose. It has no fucks to give. Ergo, we must give it the fucks it deserves.”

Last year, he’d been even more cautious of a moose’s rutting season than of those ursaring-like animals. After seeing a pair of bulls fight, I could see why. I was faster, but a single blow could have crippled me, leaving the two of us helpless while fending for ourselves.

I understood. I no longer feared the moose, but these two did, and for good reason. They weren’t supposed to succeed. Shane wanted to drive home the point that a pokemon could only reach his full potential with a human partner. I wouldn’t intervene until the two fully internalized that lesson.

I smiled as the two psyched themselves up. They knew Bite, Howl, Roar, and Sand Attack. They quickly drafted a plan. Similar to how they ganged up on the dwebble, one would use Roar and the other would take the chance to circle around. It wasn’t a bad plan. If they could hamstring the moose, they could conceivably bleed it out.

Things didn’t go according to plan. Their Roar staggered the moose but could not send such a large animal fleeing. As far as it was concerned, the pups were just that, pups. Though it was surprised for a moment, it quickly recovered and snorted dismissively before attempting to stomp their heads in.

As it turned out, the back of a moose was just as deadly as the front. One of them circled around, only to narrowly avoid getting kicked into a tree.

They tried to pump themselves up with Howl, a move that got more useful the more members of the pack engaged in it, but they just weren’t fast enough. They could dodge, but trying to close in for a good bite would leave them open to a vicious counter.

“Right, I’ve seen enough,” Shane snapped. “Rocket, take its head! Liftoff!”

“You got it!” I barked back. My tail curled and tensed as every muscle in my body coiled like a spring. The moose knew we were here now, but that wasn’t important. It simply lacked the speed to react to me.

Claws glowing a brilliant white, I rushed it down. I felt the briefest moment of resistance as I tore through its antlers, then its neck.

I landed behind the moose and eyed the two pups with a casual, almost lazy gaze. First its antlers, then its head fell to the ground. A second later, the oversized stantler slumped forward.

“That, pups, is how it’s done,” I said smugly.

“Woah,” the male pooch gasped. Yes, that was the appropriate amount of awe.

“Woo… Yay… Go, boss…” Her twin sniffed with faux apathy, but I could tell she was impressed. Her tail wagged without her notice. When I looked at her tail pointedly, she coughed and sat on it.

“When do we get to learn that?”

“When you have a trainer,” I told them.

“When’s that going to be? The rangers take us hunting, but they don’t train with us like Boss Shane does with you.”

“That’s because you need to decide on a trainer for yourselves,” I said. I wrapped my tail around the twins and dragged them to me. “Look, you two want to get strong?”

“Of course we do,” the sister said. Her brother nodded along. “We want to evolve, do more than just yell really loudly.”

“Then here’s what you need to know: Humans are dense. They’re dumb. You know how Shane became my trainer? I dragged his sorry ass by the collar until he started training me.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Alright, story time…”

Author’s Note

My understanding of aura is that it is the catch-all word used to explain poke-magic. As far as I’m concerned, human psychics are also using aura, just a specific flavor of it.

And because everything is aura, aura is therefore also the emotions that fuel the bond between trainer and pokemon. It is, in the words of Professor Oak, the “power of bonds.” A pokemon like Rocket is able to sense that connection more readily than a human like Shane.

Animal Fact: I can’t remember if I’ve used this one before, but spotted hyenas have a matriarchal society. Females tend to be more aggressive and male hyenas that leave their natal packs will act submissively to everyone in the pack he joins.

They’re also surprisingly egalitarian when it comes to distributing food. Unlike lions, with a “strong eat first” mentality, the pack will allow the pups and weaker members to feed first.

Also, because you degenerates expect this of me now: Yes, female hyenas have what is called a pseudo-penis.