Playing God 3

Playing God 3

Charlie Foxtrot

I fell.

I continued to fall.

There was naught but the sound of crashing waters all around me. I could see only the heavy mist that formed a billowing, white cloud. Through it all, I sensed the exact moment I became whole, that instant when I crossed the divide between pixel and flesh.

It was easy to tell because a wave of raw sensation overwhelmed me. I felt my clothes weighted down against the wind, my fur soaked through unpleasantly. My nose was assaulted with the smell of wet fox and my ears popped with sudden pressure. Going from a video game's muted senses to the enhanced perception of a god in such an environment was a truly unwelcome experience.

Then, I heard it, the voice of a young girl. It resounded around and through me, carrying despite the racket of the Enveloping Sea.

It was a prayer, I realized, an earnest, desperate plea for the intervention of one greater than herself. If there was any proof of my new divinity, the sound of my very first prayer was it.

“My servant that exists somewhere in this vast universe, my divine, beautiful, wise, powerful servant, heed my call,” she said, and I was suddenly baffled. Bamboozled. All those other words. “I wish from the very bottom of my heart. Add to my guidance and appear!”

This brat, whoever she was, didn't want a god, she wanted a servant! She had the gall to call a divine entity, and demand servitude. I couldn't tell if my newfound divine pride was offended or awed at the size of her cojones.

An emerald portal appeared before me. It was a grand spell, easily super-tier. Which meant she was a mage of some sort looking for a familiar. It fell at the same rate as me and began to tug me towards it insistently.

I could have resisted; even a super-tier spell was just par for the course for a level 100 character. Players could pick those up as early as level 71 and you were considered a fucking failure if your build didn’t have thirty of them by max level. I’d seen people literally kicked from guilds and raids because their builds were trash.

With a World Class that guaranteed my freedom, a full complement of divine-tier equipment, and a not inconsiderable Magic Defense stat, I could have easily dismissed her efforts, but I didn't. I allowed the portal to draw me towards it.

My curiosity was officially piqued. And if there was one trait that rivaled a fox's mischief, it was our curiosity.

Would I find a diamond in the rough? Or something that would yank my whiskers? I had to meet her, this girl who would shackle a god. And worse, to be so forthright with her intentions. There was earnest need in her plea, not the greed nor hubris I'd expect of such a monumentally stupid attempt. 

Whatever the truth of the matter, it was bound to be entertaining.

X

Louise de la Valliere

Today was the day of the summoning ritual. The familiar spirit summoning exam was one of the highlights of the sophomore year at the Tristain Academy of Magic. In it, we were supposed to invoke a sacred spell made by Founder Brimir to summon a lifelong companion, a mage's most treasured servant and confidant.

I had high hopes. Mother summoned a manticore. A classmate summoned a wind dragon. Another summoned a salamander. I could at least summon a cat or something, right? At this point, I’d have settled for a pigeon. Surely that wasn't too much to ask of the Founder?

It was.

Louise the Zero. Louise the Failure who'd yet to perform even a single spell right. That was me, the disgrace of the noble house of Valliere. And like every other spell I'd ever attempted, the ritual exploded. Why did Founder Brimir hate me so?

A deafening boom rang through the courtyard. Smoke billowed out and had us all hacking and coughing. And from the smoke came a serene voice. It was a voice filled with tranquility and authority, and maybe a bit of inquisitiveness.

“Child, you seek a divine familiar,” Founder Brimir intoned. For who else could this be to speak to me through his grand magic?

I fell to my knees but willed my heart to still. I had to be bold. I'd already said as much anyway. Perhaps he would show mercy upon me. “Y-Yes.”

“Do you know what the difference is between a regular familiar and a divine familiar?”

“N-No?” I said hesitantly. Was the Founder about to tell me the nature of divinity? Would I hear the secrets cardinals had sought for centuries?

“Presentation!!!” He roared.

And with that shout, a tremendous gust filled the courtyard. Such was its power that the smoke vanished in an instant. And, as I looked up at my familiar, I could only gasp in awe.

Crimson pillars stood proudly. They were connected on top like doorframes, with flared corners similar to a boat. They must have been gateways of some kind.

There were so many of them. Each stood one after the other, framing a pathway into the sky. The path itself emerged from the earth. Floating stones paved the way, each glowing with an eerie, magical light. Azure flames flickered in the air like countless candles or fireflies, lighting the way upwards.

My gaze trailed higher and higher. Just when I could crane my neck no further, the path ended. There was a seat, no, a throne. The azure lights coalesced there into the form of foxes. They scampered up and down the path and around the throne, worshiping the figure who lounged upon it.

He was the single most gorgeous being I’d ever seen. There wasn’t a single blemish to be found. Guiche could only wish he looked that impressive.

He was a tall, athletic figure with snow-white hair that was kept in a high ponytail. A golden hair clip shaped like a crow secured it in place. Pointy, furred ears and nine, fluffy tails killed any notion of his humanity, as if a being so perfect could be anything as mundane as a human.

His eyes were slightly slanted, giving him a distinctly predatory look, but large and expressive. Golden pools peered out at me, laying bare every secret and hidden insecurity. 

He wore an overcoat of pure, resplendent white. The hem of the coat was inlaid with silver foxes and gold trees with pink, vibrant leaves that seemed to blow in the breeze. Beneath the overcoat, he had on robes of royal and midnight blue that seemed to ripple with moonlight even despite the midmorning sun. Not even Princess Henrietta, my childhood friend and crown princess of the kingdom, was dressed half as fine as this.

In his hand was a long, bronze staff, or perhaps a spear. It had a spear’s point that flared out into a ring. There were six more rings attached to the shaft that rang pleasantly in the gentle breeze. Though it looked to be unadorned, I could feel the magic radiating from it, an aura of raw authority and presence that spoke of ancient secrets and primordial truths.

He stood and the world seemed to still. Whether it was due to the sheer, regal presence of this figure or the fear of an approaching predator, I did not know. There was a conflicting sense of serenity and danger around him.

Each step he took towards me seemed to add another weight on my shoulders. Until finally, he stood at the base of the nearest arch and snapped his fingers. The whole construct burst into pink petals, not unlike the ones that dotted his outer coat.

He leaned forward, bringing his face inches from my own, and said. “You! You seek a divine familiar? One who is beautiful, wise, and powerful?”

“Y-Yes,” I stammered, hating the way I sounded. I was a Valliere, the daughter of the Heavy Wind. I wasn’t supposed to show weakness, especially to my familiar.

He leaned back with what I could only describe as a foxy smirk. The air of raw majesty around him vanished in the span of a breath, replaced by mocking mischief. “Well? Here I am, the Inari Okami, god of foxes, agriculture, tea, alcohol, all forms of industry and commerce, and of course, fertility. Bow before me, mortal… Well, I guess you’re already kneeling so I’ll count that.”

I stood hastily at that. “G-God? There is only one god! Founder Brimir!”

“Who? Wait… Oh, yeah, Brimir’s the other name for Ymir, right? The primordial giant of the Norse pantheon? He established the cosmos and stuff.”

“I don’t-Whatever, I’m glad you recognize the greatness of Founder Bri–”

“Yeah, I remember him. He was the fourth World Enemy we fought, after Jormungandr, Hell, and Fenrir. Brimir woke up and we killed him. That was the prelude to the Rise of Surtr event chain,” he said with a guileless smile, as if he hadn’t just spouted a thousand heresies. “Fun times. Brimir dropped some good loot. I’m pretty sure I have his hat somewhere. I mean, I never used it because its aesthetic doesn’t suit my vibe, but a divine headpiece is still a divine headpiece, you know?”

The entire courtyard fell silent as I gaped with mounting horror. Every hope of my brilliant success evaporated with each blasphemous word that spouted from his mouth.

It wasn’t fair. I hadn’t just failed, I’d summoned a heretic. I’d thought that another fruitless explosion would be the worst possible outcome. It’d have resulted in my expulsion from the academy and I’d have crawled back to my family territory in shame.

No, I’d be lucky if that was all that happened. Right now, excommunication and burning at the stake by the church was looking more and more likely. My own life aside, my family name would be mud, the glorious battlefield prowess of Duchess Karen the Heavy Wind overshadowed by the stain of her daughter’s heresy.

I was so screwed.

X

Charlie Foxtrot

At this point, I’d realized that I was not in the New World. Momonga’s summoning had nothing to do with portals, nor was his exit from YGGDRASIL quite so dramatic. Maybe every realm went to a different New World? Or a different time period?

I’d been so caught up with making an entrance, and trying to figure out if I recognized anything about where I was, that I replied by rote. Brimir? Of course I recognized him. I helped kill the guy. Sure, those sanctimonious assholes from the Seraph guild took his World Item, but at least I got to avoid another Great Fox Hunt and got Brimir’s hat.

“What? Why’s everyone staring at me like that?” I asked, befuddled. I then played the conversation back in my head. “Oh…”

“Y-You heretic!” my “master” screamed, tears in her eyes. “Why can’t I have gotten a regular fox? No, a frog would have been better than you!”

I glanced around and rapidly began to put the pieces together. I wasn’t an idiot… when I bothered to pay attention.

I wasn’t in the New World as I knew it, or maybe at all. This was clearly not a society that worshiped the Six Gods of the Slane Theocracy. If I could come to this new place, then it stood to reason that I wasn’t the first here. So, I could assume that this “Brimir” was another player who’d arrived centuries ago and founded his own religion.

Was there a character by that name? The World Enemy’s name was Ymir, in accordance with more popular readings of the Eddas, so it wasn’t impossible. Or maybe the guy just changed his name in the New World as Momonga had.

Whatever the case, I’d clearly deeply offended everyone here by letting myself get carried away in the flow of conversation. And if these guys were anything like Slane, they probably considered this “Founder Brimir” to be the man who bestowed magic upon humanity. Which meant that these humans, mages all, likely answered any perceived heresy with copious amounts of murder.

I had two options: First, I could fight them. I could feel the magic in their bodies. Given the kyubi’s magical affinity, Mana Essence, the spell which identified the maximum MP of a target, could almost be considered a passive ability to me.

Assuming they were pure mage builds, I’d place them at level… twenty? Yes, the more talented students seemed to possess roughly that amount of mana. The adorable, blue-haired girl was closer to level thirty. The bald man, obviously an instructor, pushed a modest forty, maybe...

Which was absolutely pitiful. I’d spent the past several months bullying the shit out of a mage incomparably greater than these amateurs. I’d be impressed if they could hurt me through my passive protections, never mind present a credible challenge.

But this was obviously a school, an institution of magical learning. If I killed them all, I’d become a “demon god” or whatever they labeled their cataclysmic threats. The pink midget in front of me would probably be executed for the singular crime of bringing me into their world. I wouldn’t be surprised if her whole family suffered by association.

I didn’t want that. The way I’d dealt with Momonga left a sour taste in my mouth and I’d only gone so far there because Demiurge and Albedo scared the shit out of me. With my life very much not under threat, I refused to damn someone over what was ultimately a misunderstanding.

Which left the second option: I could swallow my pride. Newborn god I may be, but I wasn’t so full of myself that I couldn’t bow my head to avoid senseless bloodshed.

So, I laughed. I cackled like a loon and pointed mockingly at my “master’s” reddening face. “Ahahahahaha, you should see your face, pinky! ‘K-Kill Lord Brimir? Yeah right!”

“Y-You–”

“Me~” I sang. I dug through my inventory and brought out the Primordial Giant’s Helm. It looked like a helmet carved from gray stone, not metal, and had runic inscriptions that glowed subtly. These people might not know what it did, but its worth as a divine-tier item couldn’t be denied. “I really wasn’t lying about having Lord Brimir’s hat though. I don’t wear it because it doesn’t really suit my style, squishes my ears, but I do have it.”

“You’ve met Founder Brimir?” Pinky whispered, partly in accusation and partly in awe.

“Yup! Ehehe~ Neat, right?”

“That can’t be his hat. Founder Brimir was a mage, not a warrior.”

“I didn’t say he wore it either,” I replied with an exaggerated pout. “He just gave it to me. I don’t know where he got it. Anyway, I was just messing with you, please forgive me?”

“Do you think this is a joke? Is the holy summoning ritual a joke to you?”

I cast Perfect Adorable, transforming into a perfectly mundane fox with snow-white fur and big, expressive eyes.

It was a gag spell that kitsune had by default, with zero combat application. Hell, with our screen names floating above our heads, it couldn’t even be used for stealth. Players used to use it to run around human settlements for funsies.

I looked up at her with eyes full of unshed tears. “Pwease~”

“N-No! Stop that!” She stammered. She was wavering. The heart of a young maiden was truly a pathetic thing.

I ambled forward and placed a white, fluffy paw on her knee. I’d never been the type to be able to cry on command, but damnit, I tried my best. “Pwease, pinky-chan~ Charu didn’t mean it…”

I could hear the cooing of the audience. Hearts melted as I continued my charm offensive.

“Ahem,” I heard the instructor cough. He held a staff instead of the wand I saw most of the children carrying. “Hello, young fox. I am Professor Jean Colbert, young Miss Valliere’s teacher. You’ve truly met Founder Brimir?”

“Mhmm! He’s… larger than life,” I said. What else was I supposed to say? The guy was a primordial giant for fuck’s sake.

“The stories say he had four familiars. Were you by chance one of them?”

“I don’t know about four familiars, but I did fight with him. I wasn’t joking about the hat.”

“Founder Brimir wouldn’t have used such a crude helmet, but… perhaps he acquired it from somewhere? It is indeed an immensely magical item.”

“Don’t ask me, professor. I don’t know what he did before he met me.”

“I suppose that’s true…”

“S-So I succeeded,” the pink one whispered. “I summoned a divine familiar…”

“That you did,” I nodded proudly. I puffed out my chest and perked up my ears, which only made the children coo all over again. “My name is Charlie Foxtrot, the Inari Okami.”

“Hah! Who’s the Zero now, Zerbst!”

“Who?”

“Miss Valliere, I believe you should conclude the contract now,” her professor reminded her.

“Y-Yes, of course,” she said, composing herself from her crowing. “Ahem. My name is Louise Francoise le Blanc de la Valliere. Pentagon that rules the five–”

I couldn’t have that. Now that I wasn’t about to start an inquisition against her family, I transformed back and placed a single finger over her lips. “Hold on, pinky. You succeeded in summoning a divine, beautiful, wise, and powerful familiar, but that doesn’t mean the contract can move forward.”

“W-What? What now?”

“Now, you tell me why you’re worthy of being my master.”

“W-Worthy?”

“Yeah, duh. I mean,” I flipped my bangs like a model in a shampoo commercial. “I’m flawless. You asked for a mighty familiar, but you’ve failed to provide a single reason as to why you deserve a mighty familiar. You’re not Lord Brimir. Why should I serve you? Are you claiming to be his peer?”

She froze. She was trapped. I’d established that I was Brimir’s familiar. If she claimed to be my master, then naturally, she was implying she stood equal to her god. Obviously, someone who grew up worshiping a god would never claim peerage with said god.

Her face lost color. Like the dog that caught the mail truck, she’d gotten exactly what she wanted from her summoning, but had bit off far more than she could chew.

In essence, she didn’t have enough badges to train me.

And, like most teenagers, she covered up her trepidation with undeserved candor. “W-What makes you so special? You’re the one who says you’re all those things. You could just be am upjumped fox!”

I reactivated my Holy Aura. It cascaded outward, weighing down on the courtyard with an unmistakable gravity. “First, I am divine, at least by association. Second, I think I can say, with every modesty, that I am beautiful.”

I opened my inventory. It looked like a dark, indigo portal. I stuck my hand inside and called forth the various grimoires I’d collected throughout my decade in YGGDRASIL.

Most of the loot was in the Explorer’s Refuge of course, but I’d been busy in the past few weeks. There was plenty I acquired from various smaller guilds that I’d not had time to store in my hideaway. I’d especially focused on introductory tomes, knowing that it was possible for players to teach denizens of the New World tier magic.

“Third, I have wisdom, secrets long forgotten since the time of Lord Brimir,” I said. Tomes, what must have been priceless treasures to these low-level mages, tumbled to the ground by the dozens. “Spells to reshape landscapes, temper the void, even raise the dead. As for power…”

I waved my staff lazily through the air. My magic surged. The elements answered. The skies darkened with angry clouds and the sound of distant thunder could be heard. Then, just as the rain began to pour and lightning flashed above, I slammed the butt of my staff into the earth. Just like that, the clouds cleared once more, fleeing like sheep before a sheepdog.

Clear, blue sky revealed itself as the sun shone down warmly, as though the inclement weather a moment ago had been naught but an illusion. And if any would claim such, the dampness of their clothes and hair proved my spell had been very real. Control Weather was a neat little trick, barely of the sixth-tier, but visually impressive.

“As for power, I have that aplenty. So tell me, Louise Valliere, why should I serve you?” I leaned forward with a stern frown. “You called, and with my old master’s spell, no less. Out of respect for the relationship we once shared, I answered. So, here I am, a divine familiar. What makes you worthy of me?”

“I-I… I’m worthy b-because…” she trailed off. I could practically see the gears turning frantically in her mind, trying to come up with an answer. She looked like she was about to cry.

This ritual clearly meant a great deal to her, more than a summoning contract usually warranted. For whatever reason, be it cultural or a limitation of their magic, I suspected that I was it. She either couldn’t, or wouldn’t be given a second chance if this contract failed.

And yet, was I willing to throw away my freedom to spare her those tears? Even superficially, the idea of being a familiar rankled. Both as a man and a kitsune, I loathed the thought of being bound to anyone’s authority ever again. Just pretending I’d once belonged to another was irritating to me.

“What is it you desire, child?” I asked, more gently now. “Surely, a girl who desires a divine familiar likewise has grand ambitions. Tell me, what will you do with my power?”

“I… I want to be great. I want to be like my mother. I want to bring honor and glory to my family,” she said, voice as steady as she could manage. 

Silence filled the courtyard. Her classmates watched with bated breath as I considered her answer.

Was that it? Was that really enough? The plea had been earnest; I’d felt it when she first called to me. And yet, her wish felt so… juvenile. Power. Honor. Glory. Renown. They were what her ambition boiled down to in the end.

I shook my head. This would crush her, but… but I refused to be tied down by such a flimsy wish. Perhaps I was a failure of an okami, but I found this first prayer to be one I was unwilling to answer.

“No, your answer does not satisfy me, Louise Valliere,” I said, softly but sternly. “So many covet the crown, but never have an inkling of the things they’d do once they have the power they seek. Your wish is not wrong, but nor is it one I shall deign to fulfill. Seek your fortune elsewhere.”

So saying, I packed up my books, leaving a single, introductory tome on tier magic behind. This was it, my one grace. Perhaps she could elevate herself with the secrets within.

I called to the Explorer’s Refuge. Once more, torii gates appeared, framing the path to my personal temple.

As I took my first step towards that space between worlds, I heard her let out a broken sob. “W-Wait, please! Why? What more do you want from me?”

“Nothing,” I replied truthfully. She’d answered honestly, or, as honestly as she was willing to with her peers present. It just so happened that I valued my freedom more than her “greatness.” “You possess immense potential, but whatever road you walk, I shall not walk it by your side.”

The gate closed behind me. I considered going back to give her a familiar but decided against it. I had summons, but they were mostly other yokai from mythology. I’d yet to test their loyalty or intelligence and they might not take being ordered to serve another well. If anything, gifting her a yokai familiar could do more harm than good.

Perhaps I would visit again one day. Her spell brought me here so there must be a magical means of doing so. This world did interest me somewhat, even if the mages here seemed rather unnecessarily opinionated.

If nothing else, I wanted to see what she’d do with that tome. It wasn’t anything special, but it did have magic up to the fifth tier. I could only hope it’d benefit her to read it.

Author's Note

Wow, this started as a joke chapter but got way more serious than expected.

For those unfamiliar, this setting is Familiar of Zero, the single most cliche harem anime, but perhaps the precursor to the isekai flood we’re experiencing now. As the oldest isekai anime I can think of, I felt the need to pay homage to the OG.

Charlie has zero fucking clue who this is. He’ll recognize some characters and settings that left a lasting impression on him in his past life, but this isn’t one of them.

That he chose to defuse the initial hostility and swallow his pride rather than obliterate the academy was his kindness. For all his power, he is much like a fox, conflict-avoidant unless he feels cornered. Still, that kindness has limits.

He doesn’t know the setting so he doesn’t see Louise as the main character. He doesn’t see the void mage. He doesn’t see a girl of near limitless potential.

He sees her as she is now, a spoiled, bitter girl reaching for greatness without any clear idea of what that looks like. He sees her ambition for what it is, flimsy and lacking. And in the end, he values his freedom over a young girl’s need to prove herself. 

Does that mean their continent is fucked? I mean, yeah, kinda, but Charlie doesn’t know that.

The Inari Okami really is the god of everything Charlie listed to Louise. He is the single most worshiped god in the Shinto pantheon, with more temples dedicated to him than to Amaterasu, despite Amaterasu being the ruler of gods and mother of the Japanese emperor.

Besides the foxes thing, he’s more or less the god of human society and progress as a whole. It’d be easier to list things that the Inari isn’t a god of than to list his domains in full. In fact, his name, “Inari,” literally translates to “carrying rice.” So “Inari Okami” means something like “the great spirit/god who brought us rice.”

Spell Notes

Holy Aura: Momonga has an equal and karmic opposite of this called Despair Aura. Auras are toggleable passives that can buff or debuff those nearby based on whether they’re allies or enemies, and their relative karmic value. Aura ratings climb from one through five, with Despair Aura V being capable of inflicting instant death on low-level enemies.

Charlie’s variant was obtained via his Kannushi (Shinto priest) job class. Undead and “evil” creatures would receive stat penalties around Charlie, but its primary effect is buffing allies by making them highly resistant to status ailments and curses of all kinds. Holy Aura V can instantly purify most high-level curses, making Charlie a mobile cleansing zone.

It’s also good for impressing random plebs.

Perfect Adorable: This is a gag spell known by all kitsune at the first tier. Its name is a pun on the ninth-tier stealth spell, Perfect Unkowable. Much like Polymorph or Beast Form, it transforms the user into an animal, in this case, a fox.

However, unlike Beast Form, this spell has no combat application. The fox is utterly mundane and has an attribute rating of one across the board. Its flavor text simply reads, “CHA +100” despite charisma not being a valid attribute in YGGDRASIL.

Control Weather: Exactly what it says on the tin. Sixth-tier spell used by Momonga’s summons.