Flying into a black hole.

I remember these feelings that some important message came, and it was like that. After it, my life changed as on coordinates: the countdown of a new path, of course I didn't know then that I was flying into a black hole. Now I understand that I am my own black hole, into which we are all falling together. I like this way more because you understand that it's all you doing, it's people flying at me. But there are people with whom you can relax your ass, and there are people with whom you can't do it, but sometimes you want to be with these people so much. The main thing is that they do not leave their personality cutting disease inside you later. Now, of course, I will drink any psychopath and no one will penetrate my brain with their tentacles, I can drink it for an altered state, for a bright journey, and then crush him like a can of coke, even with my own forehead, and move on. But this has not always been the case, people with an unusual psyche, it seems to me they are created to get inside a person like a disease and stay there. I am one hundred percent mutation and disease, but I don't want to look better than someone, on the contrary, I want to become a voice of a friend, to share my voice, which leads me to be friends with the world, which loves my nude art, teaches me to be honest and free, my disease of freedom.

Probably, it can be compared to drugs, when such a relationship is like traveling to Las Vegas with Johnny depp, when they get terribly high, because they shouldn't have been and you don't suit each other, but you go to them as a forbidden fruit for the high, and you two are covered by this, well, the hangover is similar.

In the message was an offer to take pictures, and the photographer was shooting in the nude style. And I recently made a wish that I wanted to shoot nude and then it showed up. We began to talk and two weeks later we met. Some shit started happening right away, but you learn to understand over time what is good and what is bad, And it doesn't matter at all, I'm so tired of this eternal change and awakening, and then the great eye that looks at the past and says oh fuck how did you live like that? These are all parts of me without which something interesting would not have happened. If I had made up this story about myself, that's exactly what I would have made it. And it's also a completely normal human thing to grow and become better than in the past, so this process is normal. But I loved to create shit and it turns out to meet it too.

But in addition to this shoot, I also took pictures of myself on my phone and I always liked these pics more than how the photographer saw me. there are exceptions with very beautiful pictures, but I still like to shoot myself.

But then it was something new and strange, and I didn't trust myself, but trusted an allegedly proven concept like photography through a photographer, that it should be so professional, and not free and flowing through a moment in time. And also this photographer tried to destroy my vision, and tried to tell me how it should be…

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