My naked muses

Hi! Yesterday was International Women's Day. Therefore, we will talk about my muses. And once again let's plunge into the story of my desire to be photographed nude! My mood is fine, because I am here and now with you and I know that you will read this, and it makes me feel great! Let's go)

So, of course, this is Emily Ratajkowski https://www.instagram.com/emrata

Well, what other options could there be), of course, this is her. I remember that I was 15-16 years old, then, of course, I studied at school. I remember the most famous black-and-white video where emrata is filmed for treats mag https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTdcjTI3uCI&t=10s

I remember when I saw this video, I was fascinated by the beauty of her female body and at the same time full of confidence in what was happening, she so strongly radiated this energy of confidence, self-love, love for the world and freedom of sexuality, which is not fixated on someone's attention, only on her self-expression. Yes, I'm sexy just for myself, she sounded like that to me. Of course, I do not know her true feelings at that moment. But for some reason I felt that way, for some reason she seemed like that to me. Free, sexy and confident. So free that she could afford to be naked for the whole world. Such freedom of sexuality and confidence covers the whole world with love, and people around begin to believe in it, and people around begin to think that being a free naked woman is normal, it's art. I have already written once that creativity and art are probably the same aliens. And we are waiting for some human aliens, I mean that they will come to us from somewhere, as we strive to fly somewhere, this is all a human form, a form of growth and bodily movement. And creativity penetrates into your consciousness, into your heart. I was young then, even though I am young now, but then very much. And seeing her naked body, this beauty, this sexuality, I still remember this bright flash, I still remember this sexual confidence of hers, and I wanted to be the same, to feel it, to be free. To be sexy just because I am like that, and I want to show the world my sexuality, and for me this state is freedom, and it means that I'm not trying to seduce someone, I'm just like that, I'm just free, and I am.

Maybe she struck me with her freedom, creative energy entered me with the help of feelings, an alien entered me, and I also began to carry self-expression in this way, who knows)

Then in my youth, I remember that I was overwhelmed with these feelings, and I did not understand what to do with them, where to put them, when faced with the harsh world of adolescence. Yes, I have always been able to stand up for myself, but the feeling of loneliness and the feeling of a white crow were also with me. I had an overly worded opinion about everything. I wasn't a bully or a victim. I was on the sidelines and tried to stand up for the weak) I understood what was happening too well and felt where the truth was and where the lie was. And I didn't understand why everyone was playing these communication games in class. I tried to show people the truth, to speak out, and usually this caused resistance. I remember trying to dress well, and the teachers didn't like it.... 

Well, there was no place for my creativity in my family. And you know, it seems to me that it's even good that it was like that, because they would have put me through the machine again, trying to put me in the form of what drawing or playing the piano should be like. I remember drawing with my best friend in class, she always got beautiful faces and girls. And I was drawing something strange that didn't exist, some other world, I couldn't draw a beautiful shape, but I could do something very wonderful. I also remember that I didn't immediately start nude photography at the click of my finger, but I thought about it for a while. And I asked my best friend several times about it. You know, we were very different, I was wild, and she was calm. And it was as if we were balancing each other.

Now already formed, I understand what happened to me, as it seemed wrong to me and my parents, it was a frenzied flow of creative energy, a desire to live, create, get carried away with something, but there was no way out of it, so it was some kind of early infatuation, early alcohol and cigarettes. Fortunately, in my 14-18 years in our region, the city of Samara in Russia, there was no marijuana and other drugs.

So, the first time I asked my friend a girl photographer, she is about my age, maybe a little older, offered to take a picture with bare breasts. I can't remember if it was before the Emily video or later. And I asked my friend for advice, to which she replied in surprise, "no... don't do it, others will see and think badly" well, an important factor, I was not of age!

And I remember that I thought something like, "oh, well... I'm already like an unbridled wild horse, I'm always being carried somewhere, and naked photos on the Internet..." And the second time I was 20, and I asked her how she would react if I started shooting naked, she replied that she would stop talking with me ... um, it's not about this person, but that you need to be among your own! Otherwise, such a death happens, a person thinks that he is somehow crooked and wrong. Of course, it also happens that we are all to some extent under pressure from people whom we did not choose for some reason. This friend and I became such good friends because we both lived the furthest from the whole class and went back and forth to school.... Therefore, I have been going my own way for a long time and continue to search for people who will understand me. To be continued...

Friends, thank you for subscribing to my patreon and reading it, thank you for your time and subscription, I really sincerely appreciate it, happy to share my story with you. And more of my beautiful nude photos you can find here

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