I wanted to tell a story about free and spontaneous sex

Hi, as I said on my instagram, I have been 4 months free of relationships, dating and a man's body. At first it just happened, and then I decided to extend this path consciously. And pour all my feelings into the live set I'm doing.

And for some reason I remembered a story from my second trip to Paris.

It was funny. This was my second trip to Paris, I was flying from Romania at the time. I remember when I was not alone in Cluj Napoca, but with my ex-boyfriend. We were sitting in the city center, it was city day, and classical musicians, opera singers were performing on the street. I was eating salad and crying. Then I was 21 or 22, and I cried from classical music, how beautiful it is and penetrates inside me. It is so beautiful that there is simply not enough joy and pleasure to thank it. I started listening to it at 26 about more calmly, before that it was very difficult, I felt it too much. By the way, the boyfriend was 17 years older than me, all these stories are such nonsense. Well, honestly…Complete nonsense, my personal opinion, I remember how he asked me about some singers, actors and movies of his time, please note: his youth, I realize that I was not born yet)) And he was surprised at why I didn't know them, trying to make me look stupid, and I bought into it and got upset.

In fact, I've just started watching a lot of Soviet, Russian movies, because I'm looking for a unique perspective. I have all the respect for Tarkovsky. Everyone admires him, everyone jerks off at him, everyone cites him as an example, then what kind of unique look can we talk about? Everyone is talking about Tarkovsky. Yes, he is certainly talented, but it's hard for me as an artist to get inspired by what everyone is a fan of. My opinion is that this is the tragedy of Tarkovsky, that the modern generation killed him) He became a can of Coke)

Well, this dude, who is 17 years older than me, I then realized everything, hangs out with a girl who is 22 and fucks her with the fact that she does not know people from his youth. On this topic, you can watch the Russian film Assa, winter Yalta, I was there and it was winter of that year, very beautiful! There is a character Banana, I believe that I am this Banana from the movie. And there is also a girl character who is dating a man who is apparently 25 or even 30 years older than her.

I'm returning to my beloved Paris. I then rented an apartment on Airbnb, and there you can choose an urgent confirmation, and as I understood, the owner himself did not know that it was installed, and it was a surprise for him, but the money was already paid, so he did not change anything, but he rolled out his surprised message to me, now I already understand that it was necessary to change the booking then, but youth is such a thing. I arrived with a small bag because the plans were for less than a week. Also spring, warmth…A pair of jeans and beautiful underwear for filming.

I remember that the landlord looked at me very suspiciously and asked a lot of questions.....

Everything became clear to me when the door opened the first night, he went into the corridor and looked into the hall, I saw it the shadow from the bedroom where I slept and woke up from the shock of what was happening. In the morning I called my friend, he spoke Russian and French, I asked to talk to this dude, the owner was over 40 years old) To ask what is going on, to say that he has no right to behave like this. I couldn't change my apartment at that time because I didn't have the money to rent another one, and it was strange to write to Airbnb, it seemed to me that no one would answer me, I had to decide everything myself. In short, this owner thought that refugees would be with me, that I was a fake girl, that men would come with me, and we would live here together, ten of us. I realize that he was afraid that we would tie him up in the closet and take away the house. I do not know if he is lonely and no one would have noticed his disappearance. I am writing now and I remember how at the first meeting he gave me the keys: we parted, I said that I would go to orange to buy a SIM card. After 10 minutes, he flew in there with wild eyes, sweaty forehead and tried to explain something to me in his broken English and French, grabbed my hand and led to the apartment, began to say that his passport was missing, began rummaging in my bag and rushing around the apartment like a goose in the yard. And in the end remembered that he put it in the inside pocket of a jacket. The scene with the passport was before he broke in at night. I also began to worry that I was being deceived for something, but I couldn't figure out what.

But in his defence I will say that at that time there really was a big problem with refugees in Europe, people from different countries told that their houses were broken into, that they had to move because streets and entire districts became unsafe. And I saw these huge alleys of tents, and it was also a prolonged period of terrorist attacks in France.

In fact, I wanted to tell a story about free and spontaneous sex, which actually happened during this trip. Yes, I need to clarify that then once again in Romania I had a fight and broke up with this grown man, it was our normal to break up. I wonder how else it could have been when we had such a big age difference, and as I now understand it is in intelligence too) the problem is not with me)

Well, friends, I speak purely for myself about this, we must understand that everything is individual.

So, I just came to the shoot, I remember that the photographer was nice and funny, joked a lot. Yes, I want fun, not suffering. And I wanted him, I wrote it myself in the evening, so that it was clear that I wanted to fuck him.

And the next night we met and just had sex. I remember that it was a fuck for the sake of freedom, sometimes you just want to look at someone else's naked body, be surprised with it, it's also always interesting – the first time to have sex with someone, to touch someone. New sensations, rub against a person, enjoy and forget. Well, I smashed the phone while we were fucking, it flew to the floor, and the screen crashed. Yeah, baby) that's my style.

We went to dinner, and then we rode a scooter, then it was still possible to drive under the Eiffel Tower, it was before the European Championship, after which everything was smashed under it, and actually after that they put up a fence. Yes, the guy was very cheerful, so he just drove under the Eiffel Tower. Yes, of course, the police ran up to us, freaking out from what they saw, because it was impossible to do that. But he remained in my memory with something vivid, perhaps even the whole sex was remembered, because he did something crazy.

It was a pleasant fuck, mutual, I didn't feel that someone attacked me like a predator, or that I was used and thrown out. Yes, I sometimes caught such feelings. I think that if sex and its aftertaste are excellent, and there is also a respectful behavior of partners to each other, then everything always comes out cool.

He drove me to the corner of the street and drove, I walked a few meters, approached the entrance and realized that all the codes from the two doors were stored in my phone, which was broken.

I stood silently at the entrance for an hour, just silently, I didn't even discuss anything with myself, I just accepted everything as it is. It was night, about 2-3 o'clock. I had a plane early in the morning, but I was lucky, I remember two guys coming into the entrance. A few weeks later, as always, I sent a newsletter to the photographers I had already worked with. The message was short: hello... here is my rate for an hour and two hours of work, I will be on such and such dates… But why the hell did the crazy landlord's mail get there, and I do not know how, but I can assume what he thought… Because in response he wrote: Oh, well, I'll think about it, thanks)

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