May I Enjoy My Life: Entry 34

Entry 36, Day 80

I’ve never been a big fan of flying. Road trips are definitely my jam, as getting in the car and driving for hours as you listen to jams and talk with your friends is definitely more fun, though we did more of those when I was a kid. I do remember flying to Japan for vacation once, which sucked complete ass as it was a 12-hour flight. But breathing stale farts and sitting wedged in between two strangers isn’t my idea of fun. 

That went double for flying on Terra. My first flight had been under less than ideal circumstances, what with barely escaping Ursus alive, and then the layover in Leithanien where I almost died again…

I really, really hope I don’t almost die on the way to Siracusa. Or when we get there. 

“Uh, just asking, but there isn’t about to be a huge carnival in Nuova Volsinii, right?” I asked as we boarded the large VTOL on the flight deck. There were seven of us: Me, Suzuran, Ingrid, Lisa, Texas, along with Red and Rosmontis who would be tagging along in case we needed to murder an army or two.  

“Carnevale? It’s been banned for ages,” Sussurro told me as we walked up the ramp. We both had only backpacks with a few changes of clothes and other necessities, along with medical kits in case we ran into trouble, which given our track record I’m sure we would. 

“Funny you should be mentioning that,” Ingrid said as we strapped into the jump seats. “I have heard that Signora Sicilia has allowed the festival to return to Nuova Volsinii. This is, ah, what do you call it again? Weird alien knowledge, yes?”

“Uh, all I know is that Lappland decided that driving Truck-Kun into a courthouse wasn’t enough, and decided to crash the party,” I admitted. “Though if I remember right, it was so she could destroy Siracusa or something.”

“Really? Well, then, under ordinary circumstances, I would consider helping her,” Ingrid said with a chuckle. 

“Huh? Wait, you WANT to destroy your homeland?” I asked, confused. 

“Not a bad idea,” Sussurro agreed, which confused me even more. “Siracusa could use a good house cleaning.”

“The Famiglia are a blight upon Terra, and I say this as a member of the Venezia Famiglia,” Ingrid said with a shake of her head. 

“But, if Siracusa is destroyed, what would happen to Nonno Fabizio, Zio Antonio, and Zia-” Suzuran paused, her expression falling, and Ingrid gently squeezed her daughter’s hand. 

“I am forgetting my sister is no longer with us as well, Luce. But, well, it would be for the best if your Nonno and Zio were no longer wrapped up in the Famiglia. It is a bloody, disgusting business, and it is why Mamma moved to Higashi. Siracusa would be better off without the whole thing.”

“I forget, is the mission to destroy Siracusa?” Rosmontis asked, cocking her head to one side. 

“No. Not kill mission. Keep Bones-man safe mission,” Red corrected her friend.

“That’s right. Well, if you want me to destroy the Famiglia too, just ask,” Rosmontis said, taking out her tablet and reviewing her mission notes. 

“The mission is to save Sora,” Texas growled, lowering her hand from her mouth. Texas was nominally there as my bodyguard, but she was sitting in her seat partaking of her new habit, which seemed to be gnawing her nails to nubs since she’d already run out of pocky. “And keep Bones safe. If anyone gets in the way…use of deadly force authorized.”

Red grinned a slasher smile while Rosemontis just nodded somberly. Lisa looked uncertain, but Ingrid patted her hand. “Don’t worry, we will make sure your Nonno and Zio stay safe.”

“Yes, but mamma, I do not like it when we have to kill people on missions,” Lisa said mournfully. 

“It’s OK. If there’s someone you don’t want to kill, I can do it for you,” Rosemontis offered in a most unhelpful manner. 

“Crazy idea, what if we just don’t kill anyone?” I suggested. “Good God, I’m a doctor not- oh son of a bi-iscuit.” 

I’d nearly done it. I’d sworn my entire life I’d never say the stupid line. Stress really was getting to me. 

We were about to take off, when Kal’tsit approached the loading ramp, along with wooden packing crate the size of a big refrigerator with “FRAGILE: MEDICAL EQUIPMENT” in bright red lettering on it, being hauled by a couple of operators. She directed them to secure it in the loading bay, then stood before us, lab coat whipping in the breeze slightly. 

“Operators: Your mission is to secure Operator Sora, and, if possible, secure Operator Lappland’s cooperation as well. She and her new companion may prove vital in upcoming events. As such, attempt all means before engaging in direct action against Operator Lappland.”

Texas looked stormy and didn’t nod, while Ingrid frowned. “What has the Saluzzo bitch done now? I thought her companions were those thugs she hired to help her commit her little crime spree.”

“Oh. Uh, question?” I said, raising my hand. “Can I-”

“I am transferring all known information on Signori dei Lupi, and the specific Lupi Zaaro. If you have further insights to share, all Operators on this mission are given clearance for further details,” Kal’tsit stated as each of our devices pinged with a data mission update. “Additionally, for this operation, PTRS may be offline. Closure is conducting updates to the system in preparation for the refit and overhaul in Rim Billington. As such, local assets and data packets may be your only recourse.”

PTRS update? That twigged something in my memory, but I couldn’t recall exactly what. Maybe it was IS6 or something? Though that was the Sui if I remembered right. 

“I thought this mission was for James to meet my parents after we cleared up this misunderstanding with Sora and Lappland,” Sussurro said, folding her arms over her chest and frowning at Kal’tsit. 

“Meeting your parents can be considered a secondary objective,” Kal’tsit said, then gave a small smile. “If a high priority one. You have 13 days until the conference in Victoria. Arrive one day early at minimum for debriefing and preparation. I am dispatching Chief Medical Officer Warfarin, along with the study group, to prepare facilities and test subjects for you. As such, while in Sicacusa, you are authorized only a single use of the Oripathy curing arts, Operator Bones. I have set the release of your target on a time delay message to be received only after you arrive in Siracusa. The patients' agents will contact you in due time.”

“Uh, OK. Am I curing Lappland or something? I guess that might make her less crazy,” I said with a frown. 

“No,” Texas said, shaking her head. “She was like this before she contracted oripathy. I was there.” 

Kal’tsit continued as though I hadn’t even asked a question. “You will receive the information at the appropriate time. Should an extreme emergency take place, squawk code Skeletal Wings. We have set aside resources to respond in such an emergency.” 

Well, that didn’t sound ominous or anything. “Who’s in charge of the mission?” Sussurro asked. “Texas?” 

“Negative. Mission command is yours, Operator Sussurro. You are designated Squad Leader for this operation. All Operators are placed under your command and at your disposal. Though I suggest not abusing such authority in intimate situations.”

“She can abuse it all she wants as far as I’m concerned,” I said with my best shit eating grin, which made Ingrid burst out laughing despite her attempts to smother it and Sussurro to turn as pink as her fur and try to kick me, which didn’t work too well as we were sitting next to one another, and her legs are too short to reach the deck. 

“I believe this is a case of what the younger generation refers to as ‘TMI,’ Operator Bones,” Kal’tsit told me, though she had a slight quirk to her lips as she said it. 

Then, to my shock, she came over and gave each of us a hug. No, really! She lingered especially long on Red and Rosmontis, who seemed over the moon to get a hug from their mother figure. They even unstrapped to do it properly. I felt a little awkward, but it was like hugging my mom, actually. 

“Take care of Lucia,” she whispered in my ear. “And of yourself, James. And take care of my daughters. All of them. It is only at the last that I have realized how much I love them.”

“Uh, we’ll see you again in two weeks, it’s not that long,” I said, frowning down at her as I pulled away.

“Yes, of course. Perhaps I am feeling overly maudlin. Well, may you find favor in the eyes of Mr. and Mrs. Sussurro,” Kal’tsit said, then bent down and gave Lisa a hug, much to Ingrid’s approval. 

“And do I get one as well?” Ingrid joked, then hugged Kal’tsit and gave her air kisses. “I do not always approve of  how you have treated Lisa, but you have taught her well, at least. Is this mission so dire you fear for our lives?”

“No. I am merely ensuring we part on the best terms,” Kal’tsit said. She turned away, but paused by the crate, running her hand over it. She rested her forehead against the box for a moment, and I thought I saw a tear run down her cheek. What the fuck?

Then she turned around and strode away. The ramp closed behind her, and we lifted off into the air. I was concerned about how Kal’tsit was acting, but there was a more pressing thought on my mind. I got Ingrid’s attention, and she and I went over to a corner of the cramped bay while Sussurro and Lisa talked in rapid-fire Not-Italian that I couldn’t follow. 

“I have a favor to ask,” I told her, and Ingrind grinned and laughed. 

“Ah, this is about courting Lucia, isn’t it? No, no, do not blush, it is good! So, what is it you wish to know?”

“Well, uh, as you may have guessed, I’m not exactly from around here.”

“And by this you mean you are an alien from outer space, not simply not Siracusian, yes? Oh, do not squirm, I will not attempt to dissect you. You are doing the right thing by going to speak with her parents. Though I must confess, I do not know how likely it is they will be willing to speak to you, let alone give their blessing.”

I winced. “They not a big fan of the Infected?” 

“That is largely it, yes,” Ingrid admitted. “Siracusa, it is not so bad as some places I have been for the Infected, but it is still not good. Lucia does not talk about her home much, but I imagine they have largely cut off contact and will not see her. I nearly strangled my brother when he refused to see Lisa after she was infected. Luckily, our father talked some sense into him before I had to beat it into Antonio’s thick head.”

“Yeah, uh, normally I’d ask Texas this stuff, but…”

I glanced over at Texas, who had devastated her fingernails and had moved on to gnawing on a wooden pencil like she was a zalak. Was that racist? Probably not, they actually do tend to have oral fixations and chew on things. 

“But that wolf is not only a lesbian, but as tense as a gnawbeast in a tuskbeast den. Yes, she is not so good a source of information at the moment. So, what is it you wish to know?”

“Well, like…what do I even say to her parents? Do I just say ‘I love your daughter and want to marry her’?”

“That would be a good start, yes. You have a ring?” Ingrid asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Uh, no. Not many jewelers on Rhodes Island, and while I have some money, I’m not exactly rich and Sussurro doesn’t go in for the flashy jewelry. What’s traditional and affordable?”

“For you, a silver band with an amethyst or moonstone would be appropriate, I think. Classy and tasteful but not overly indulgent. You know her size?”

“Uhhhhh…”

“Of course. Well, she is a four, write that down somewhere. It will need to be sized properly, naturally, but this is easy. Do you know your size?”

“Er….”

Ingrid sighed and held out her hand. “Just give me your hand. Hmm, you have very big hands, like my husband, but your fingers, they are long and slender.”

“Surgeon's hands,” I said with a shrug. “Mom always wanted me to play piano.”

“I would say a seven for you, but usually the couple goes to pick that out together, so it is fine. Now, for the proposal, what are your plans?”

“Er, should we really go over all this now?”

“You have something else to be doing on a four-hour flight? No? Then, plans! You have them, yes?”

“Well, uh, I guess a quiet dinner with just the two of us…” I trailed off as Ingrid made a sour face. “No?”

“James, think. Lucia, what does she like? The quiet, soft way, or the big, loud, passionate way?” Ingrid demanded. 

“Well, she does tend to be pretty loud?” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. Actually, she was usually louder than I was completely comfortable with, though I tried to just roll with it. 

“So you make the big, loud plan, yes? You find the most prominent point in Palermo, and you take her there! You are having Texas ready with a camera, and there should be flowers! Roses! If you could afford an entire band, that would be better, but at least stand before the entire city and declare your love for her before you get down on your knees.”

“That…does sound like something she would like,” I admitted. “I guess I was more thinking about what I would like…”

“Which would be a private, quiet moment together. You have that after, when it is just the two of you. But Lucia, she is Siracusian to the core. She wants the drama, the zest, the romance! Is that something you can give her?”

“Well, yeah, though I’d say our lives have been a bit too dramatic, especially how we met,” I said, thinking back to not one, not two, but three death-defying escapes. I was counting Wei in Lungmen too, because he could have locked me in a lab forever if he’d wanted. 

Grinning, Ingrid shook her head. “Ah, an Emperor’s blade, no? To be young again and test my blade against one such as that! It would have been a good death…but no, I am old now, and I have responsibilities. Though I can see how most people would consider fighting one of the Demons of Ursus to be too much excitement.”

“For an entire freaking lifetime! Scariest moment of my life, after…” I paused, hesitating slightly. 

“After what?” Ingrid asked, her ears swiveling curiously. 

“Well, I was going to say after the time I got hit by a truck and died, but actually, I think seeing Sussurro get grabbed by those Tribly Ashers was scarier. I thought she was going to die, and that was a lot worse.”

“And you were not thinking the Emperor’s Blade would be killing her?” Ingrid chuckled. 

“Uh, honestly, I both wasn’t in love with her at that point and was so numb and frightened it just didn’t seem real. The Trilby Ashers were a lot more… visceral, I guess? That day had been great up until they nearly killed us, and seeing Sussurro in danger…well, it was sort of motivating to make sure she knew I loved her, you know?” 

“And you have changed your opinion on children?” Ingrid asked. She raised a hand. “And, be aware, I, at one point, was reluctant to have a child with my own husband. I have many enemies, and being pregnant, well, it makes one vulnerable. Plus, I knew that there was a chance the child would be a vulpo, like me. Then, my husband, he would see both of us die before he grew even a single grey hair on his tail. So I am…sympathetic, shall we say, to your resistance.”

“I…” Swallowing, I glanced over at Lucia, who was laughing with Lisa as she combed the girls nine tails with a brush. They were still going on in not-Italian, but I could tell it was some sort of girl talk. Lisa glanced at me and covered her mouth as she giggled, while Lucia blushed and smiled somewhat coquettishly. She probably had a pretty good idea about why I was grilling Ingrid. She’s pretty smart, and while we were being quiet and the aircraft was noisy enough to cover our conversation, Ingrid’s hands did half her talking for her. 

“I dunno. But Lucia really wants kids. Back where I was from, couples usually waited to have kids. There was no big rush, and, well, kids were both expensive and the world was getting a little overpopulated.”

“Overpopulated?” Ingrid gave me a mystified look. “The entire world? How is that possible? I have heard of a city plate growing overcrowded, but you just build another or relocate to one lacking people. How could a world run out of space?”

“Uh…well, basically, no originium, no Catastrophies, not many big wars, and, you know, no alien demons or Lovecraftian horrors of the deep killing off big sections of the population.”

“James, if there is a way back to this world, you take Lucia there straight away. Zanne e artigli, take my Lisa there as well! That sounds like paradise,” Ingrid said with a snort. “So, naturally, I assume you are either lying, it is not real, or there is no way back.”

“No one’s found a way back so far, and, well, I think I’m stuck here for the long haul either way. Lisa isn’t the only infected little girl, you know?” 

“All too well,” Ingrid said with a sigh. She eyed me sideways. “That said…what would I have to do to convince you to cure her? I would do anything short of take you to bed, that is not an option.”

I coughed and sputtered. “Uh, yeah, so. Frankly, do I need to? If she can master this new form of arts, she’ll cure herself.”

“It is too powerful, and too hard on her body. I would do anything to cure her, even still. She is a target now. These arts, you will need to spread them. For now, just knowing such power…many would kill or worse for it. It is a secret we must keep, at all costs,” Ingrid said, her expression dark. 

“Well, I think the idea is for me to keep this secret, aside from whoever I’m supposed to cure,” I said, my mind going to various Siracusian operators. There was Lappland, of course, but also Penance, who was some sort of judge, and Vigil, who was useless as hell in-game but was some sort of reformed mafia don I think? There were a few others, but I didn’t usually pay attention to that sort of thing if it didn’t matter in game play. 

“Yes, that, I wonder on. Kal’tsit, she does nothing for no reason. So, I wonder, who is it she sends for you to cure, and why? I am assuming it is someone of consequence, yes? A piece she can use in the grand game she plays with the nations of Terra.”

“I dunno. I just hope they’re someone worth curing. I’m not supposed to be picky about my patients, but considering what it costs me to cure someone…well, it’s basically my life for theirs. Someone like Lisa? Absolutely, worth dying for even. Someone like, I dunno, Lappland? I wouldn’t be so sure.”

“She is not evil. Only hurt.”

I just about jumped out of my skin, and even Ingrid jerked back as we both realized Texas had quietly moved close enough to hear us. 

“Rich words, coming from the woman who goes to Siracusa to kill that Saluzzo,” Ingrid said with a snort. 

Texas, who was now chewing on a pen lid, spoke around her latest oral fixation. Her ears hung limply, and her entire body drooped.  “Do not judge her. She was my friend. My lover. I saw her pain. Her rage. She wants to end the pain. For her, for Siracusa. I blame myself for what has happened. I knew me leaving her would hurt. It must have been too much.”

“Texas, you can’t blame yourself, even if Lappland has gone crazy and kidnapped Sora,” I said gently, taking out a pack of gum and passing it over to her. She grabbed it immediately, spitting the pen lid out, sticking on in her mouth. “Careful, it’s nicotine gum. Thought you might need some.”

“Thanks,” Texas said, visibly relaxing as she closed her eyes. 

“Anyway, I’m still not convinced Lappland would actually hurt Sora. Haven’t they met before and gotten along just fine?”

“Yes. We were not dating then. Things have changed.”

“And how long have the two of you been lovers? Since you first fled Siracusa, yes? The Saluzzos, they are the jealous types.”

Texas opened one eye and regarded Ingrid. “You do not like the Saluzzos. You are a Venezia. There is bad blood.” 

“And you are a Texas, and yet, I can be civil, no?” Ingrid said with a rather vicious smile. 

“I am the last Texas. There will be no others. I left the life. So have you. So has Lappland.”

“Has she, now? She plays their game, albeit in her own way. Or she would not send you such a message. You go back now, you are in the game as well,” Ingrid said, disgust turning her face into a snarl as she made a dismissive gesture. “Blood. Honor. Famiglia. That is what this is. You sleep with another woman, and stain her honor. So she demands blood in payment. It is the way of the Famiglia. The sword is the only language they speak, and blood the only coin they take. Columbia may be where you were born, but your blood, your soul, it is Siracusian.”

Texas turned maudlin again, chewing quietly on her gum. At last, she shook her head. “Not roses.”

Ingrid blinked. “I am sorry?”

“When he proposes. Roses are for the first date. To be secret. I give Sora roses. A public proposal calls for myrtle, orange blossoms, and red carnations. Then, you need to decide what sort of marriage you want: Do you wish for peace, or for passion? For wealth, for health, for fidelity? What do you treasure most? These must go into the wreath as well. Not a bouquet. It must be a wreath: to hang above your door on your wedding day. Must be before the wreath withers: Old vulpo custom.”

Ingrid looked at Texas like she’d just grown a second head. “I…did not know this. How did you learn this? Where?”

“I like flowers. Sora likes flowers. Can’t tell her I love her openly. Had to be a secret. Had to be perfect. So, I learned. Flowers are a language. Vulpo created it, use it. Keep it secret from famiglia. Now I speak it.”

Ingrid laughed. “Well! I suppose this is what I get for being a Vulpo raised by a Lupo with a Perro for a brother and a Kitsune as a husband. I was never learning this secret language. You, a Lupo, learned it? Is your Sora a Vulpo? She looks like a Lupo, but many hide it.”

Texas shifted uncomfortably. “That is not my secret to share. I am the only one who knows. She told me after our first time together. She…no. I can say no more.”

“Well, I shall not pry then,” Ingrid said making a consoling motion. “But, the wreath then, it must speak of passion, and of peace. She is the passion; he, the peace.”

“Uh, can’t we both be peace?” I said, frowning. “We fight too much as it is, I’m still trying to figure out how to keep that from happening.”

Ingrid groaned and put her head in one hand.“Oh merda dei signori,  you have not learned yet? No, of course, it has been only two months. My husband, it took him more than two years!” 

“Learned what?” I asked, feeling suddenly nervous. “Is it bad? I mean, couples fight, right? We make up, it’s just, when she yells, I feel my heart break…”

“She is Siracusian!” Ingrid exploded, her hands clawing at the air as I jerked back and Texas had a sword out in an eyeblink. “Oh, put that away! You, you are not understanding either, idiota Columbian Lupo! Where is the passion in your heart!? The fire in your blood!?”

“Mamma-san?” Lisa asked, calling from across the bay. Red had undone her straps, while Rosmontis had her head cocked to one side as if to ask, “Now do I kill everyone?”

“It is fine. It is like when your father and I have a discussion, and send you to the kitchen for mochi,” Ingrid said with a wave of one hand. 

“Ah. But, you are not going to kiss Bones-sensei, right?” Lisa asked, scrunching up her face.

“It’s fine, Lisa. I would kill her if she tried!” Lucia laughed.

Ingrid blew her a kiss, then scowled at me. “Lucia, you need to hear this also. Come over here.Texas, go braid your hair.”

Texas tilted her head to one side. “I do not braid my hair. I like it loose.”

“I meant go find something to do somewhere else! This conversation, it is private! And I promise not to kill either of them before telling you, and only if they really deserve it,” Ingrid said, making a shooing motion as Lucia came over to sit by me. 

Texas reluctantly got up and went over by Lisa, though she had her eyes locked on us as she masticated her gum.

“Yes?” Lucia said, then glanced at me with a bit of a smirk, as if expecting me to get an earful. Honestly, I sort of did too.

“You!” Ingrid said, and stuck her finger under Lucia’s nose, making her jerk back. “Are you a bully!? A beast!? A bitch in heat!?”

“I, what!? No, I-”

“Hey, she’s my girl, watch it,” I growled, feeling my own hackles rise. 

“And what if I call her a whore, a slut, a-” Ingrid paused. “Lisa, get out your headphones and listen to music.”

“Um, hai, mamma-san!”

Ingrid and I waited until Lisa had out her tablet and her pink headphones nestled over her ears before I leaned forward and growled, “Alright, listen. I am a reasonable man. I know you can kick my ass. We both do. But you call Lucia one more name, and you’re going to have to prove it. And you’re off the mission.”

Ingrid beamed at me, which wasn’t the reaction I’d expected. Then she turned to Lucia. “Well?”

“Ingrid, what is this about? Why do you pretend to insult me?” Sussurro said, her tail twitching back and forth as she frowned. 

“Was that the passion you want?” Ingrid asked, gesturing to me.

“I-” Sussurro blinked, then blushed. “It was…alright. You could have been angrier, James.”

“Oh, I’m fucking furious,” I said, struggling to keep my temper in check. That’s pretty rare, but Ingrid had got my goat, even if she’d done so on purpose. 

“Then why do you not show it?” Ingrid asked. 

“Huh?” I blinked. “I said I was angry.”

“If you’re so angry, why don’t you yell at her a little? Shake your firsts, beat your breast?!” Lucia demanded, getting a little heated herself.

I very nearly told her to calm down, but instead, I took five seconds while she started breathing hard, then shook my head. “What would that prove? That I can’t control myself? She’s a lady, even if she’s not acting like it. It’s on me to be have like a gentleman. Raising my voice would just be…” I struggled for the words. 

“Impolite, and make a fuss? Cause a scene?” Ingrid prompted. 

“Yeah, that,” I agreed. 

“Why would you not want to make a scene!? She insulted me, you are angry, you let the world know!” Lucia snapped, actually loosening her restraints so she could rise up on her seat to be at eye level with me.  

“You are being a bully again,” Ingrid said, this time evenly. “Do you not see how this wounds him?”

“I-” Lucia paused, and I got the impression she actually looked at me. Her ears suddenly wilted, and she sank back down, hugging herself. “I…I am a bully?”

“No, it’s OK,” I said gently, hugging her. “I’m sorry I upset you.”

“Do not apologize!” Ingrid snapped, and we both looked at her in confusion.

She sighed and rubbed her face. “I am no therapist. I am bad at this, I am sorry. Look: you two, you are from the hot, and the cold. My husband and I, it is the same. Higashi, it is very cold. They have passion, yes, but the passion of ice. Ice endures, and when it does melt, it can explode, but the melting is hard, and bad for it. Siracusia, he is hot. Near the sea, in the south. There are many volcanoes, and they erupt frequently. Not so violently as Higashian volcanoes, actually, now that I think of it.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m lost,” I said, and Lucia nodded in agreement. 

“Yes, sorry…” Ingrid tapped her chin, then spread her hands. “Look: you both, you need to understand. James, you are cold. You do not want to make a scene. You do not yell, not even when you are furious, yes?”

“I try not to. Losing control isn’t a good look,” I said with a nod. 

“Yes, exactly! Control! Polite! Do not disrupt, do not make a scene. My husband, he is the same way! When we first married, I would yell at him. Even throw things. Small things, so as not to hurt him, of course, but throw things.”

“She splashed me,” I said, blushing slightly. 

Lucia gaped at me. “A little water hurt you!?”

“Yes, it did,” Ingrid said with a nod. “No, not here, where you can see.” She put her head over her heart. “Here, where it counts. When you make a scene, even in private, he is thinking you do not love him, that you have lost control. He is cold!”

“Is…is that true?” Sussurro asked, tears filling her eyes as she turned to me. 

“Well, yeah, kinda,” I admitted. 

Lucia started bawling and flung her arms over me, apologizing profusely. At least, I think she did, because she was babbling in Siracusian and I couldn’t really tell much aside from a lot of “scusa.”

Ingrid gave her a handkerchief, and she wound down eventually. I felt really bad, but Ingrid got my attention. “This, this is how she shows she loves you, James. The crying? It is from her heart. She bares it to you, unashamedly. She shares it with you, so there are no secrets. When she shouts, she screams, and yes, splashes you or even throws things-”

“I do not do that, it is foolishness,” Lucia huffed.

I eyed her. She’d thrown paper at me, which I had been offended by. But I didn’t say anything. 

“Fine, you do not. But you jump up and down and weep and wail, yes? Of course, I do the same. James, open your ears and listen with your heart: she does this not because she is mad, though of course she is, but because she loves you and wants you to know she is mad.”

“And we can’t just…talk it out?” I asked, somewhat plaintively. 

“No! And you, you will yell at her! In private, only, but you will yell! I would have you practice, but this is not a good place, yes? Our therapist, he would leave the room and listen while my husband yelled at me,” Ingrid said, a distant and fond look entering her eyes. “Oh, after that first good yelling, that is when we conceived Lisa. It was wonderful!”

“But, I love her! Why would I yell at her?!” I gasped, rather horrified at the thought.

“So I know you love me!” Sussurro said, and grabbed my hand, placing it over her heart. And boob, so, uh, I squeezed, just a little. “Do you not feel my heart beating?! Do you not feel the blood flowing!? That passion, I need to hear it. To feel it! So, yell at me! At least a little. And, maybe…well. If you turned me over your knee…I would not be too upset. If it was the right time.”

I gaped at her. A spanking kink!? 

“Ah, what is that word my husband used?” Ingrid muttered. “My Higashian, it is not so good… Lisa! Qual è la parola per l'amante caldo e freddo di quegli spettacoli con le ragazze urlanti?”

“Intendi la Tsundere, mamma-san?” Lisa asked, moving her headphones off of one ear. 

“Ah! Yes, that is the word. James, you are watching the anime, yes? Well, Lucia, she is a Tsundere. Like me,” Ingrid said, beaming proudly at her mastery of weebery. 

Oh! My mind instantly went to Rin from Fate, and all of a sudden, I got it. “Wait, I’m being the limp dick anime love interest?!”

Lucia snorted with laughter and had to cover her mouth, but she nodded. 

“I am not thinking your sword is so dull from what Lucia is telling me, but you are not a spineless boy, but a man! Act like it! Have some passion!” Ingrid urged. 

“I, uh, I guess I can try that…if it’ll make you happy,” I said, taking Lucia’s hands. 

She shivered slightly, and pressed herself against me. “More than you can know.”

“And you! Do not bully him! Unless he needs it. Men, they need some bullying, sometimes. The therapist, he was not understanding this, but he is a man, also,” Ingrid said with a flick of her fingers. 

“Like a kick under the table when I’m being a doofus?” I guessed. 

“Yes. My husband, he is needing a kick or two himself,” Ingrid agreed. 

Lucia laughed. “Why else do men have wives but to tell them when they are being stupido?”

“I can think of a couple of reasons,” I said, then stroked her tail, which made her arch her back a little.

“Do keep in mind my little girl is watching, even if she is pretending not to. She is a nice, polite Higashian girl.” Ingrid sighed, then smiled fondly at Lisa, who was very studiously not looking at us. 

“I mean, I’m American, not Japanese,” I said, which earned me a kick. “Right, right. I mean, I’m Columbia, not Higashian.”

“The Columbians, they are loud, but they are too friendly, like a lost little beckbeast. The Siracusian, even the Vulpo, is a fangbeast! We snarl, we bite, even when we play. Can you handle this vicious fangbeast, little beckbeast?” Ingrid demanded. 

I grabbed Lucia and nibbled at her neck a bit, which made her gasp and slap at me a little, but I recognized that as her playing. “I think I can handle this one, if she’ll have me.”

“Is that a proposal?” she asked, turning her head to kiss me.

“Not yet,” I told her a moment later. “Gotta visit Palermo first. Though before that, we do need to help our own lost little wolf figure out a small problem with her ex.”

Though frankly, dealing with Texas and Lappland’s issues sounded way easier than figuring out my romantic life. 

Author’s Note:

This chapter brought to you by the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, and conversations I’d wish I’d had a lot earlier on. Please do not consider it actual romantic advice.