fullparagon

May I Enjoy My Life: Entry 37

August 6th, 1100

I remember clearly the day I left Siracusa. I had tried to go home, and my father had refused to let me inside. My sister had been screaming and crying from the second-story window, tears and snot trickling down her face. I could only blow kisses to her. My mother set a suitcase with my belongings outside. I could hear her weeping as well, but she didn’t open the door to kiss me one last time. How could she? I was a filthy Infected. The Law was clear on how to deal with those who are Infected in Praecepta 13:45-48. 

45 The one upon whom the crystal mark is shall tear his garments and bare his head, and he shall cover his mouth with his head covering and cry, ‘Unclean! Unclean!’ He shall be Unclean, for all his days shall he be Unclean. 46 He shall dwell alone; his dwelling shall be outside the city, lest others be tainted by the dust of the stone. 47 All who touch one who is Unclean in this way shall also be Unclean for seven days, and be isolated from you. At the end of seven days, the priest shall examine them. 48 If no dust of the stone is found upon them, they shall be Clean, and they shall dwell among you in the city. But if the dust of the stone is found upon them, then they too shall be Unclean, and be cast out from among you; they may not dwell within the city. 

That’s one reason I fell away from the Church. I used to justify it. After all, the Law was written for Bronze Age barbarians wandering the Lateran wilderness. They didn’t know how to treat oripathy. They didn’t understand how oripathy spread, or that you couldn’t contract oripathy just from touch. 

But I saw the cruelty. I’ve talked to Arene and Adnachiel. None of their family will speak to them either, and they can never return to Laterano, their patrons confiscated or never given in the first place. How could the Church and the Law continue to be so cruel in the face of current reality? 

Now I knew, of course. The Law wasn’t an all-loving, beatific deity. It was a computer. A machine. A divine one, perhaps, but still a machine. Its cold, calculating mind, for it had no heart, had determined that this was the safest and best way to protect the Sankta. Kal’tsit claimed that it ‘loved’ the Sankta, but how can a machine love? With no blood pumping in its veins, no passion in its heart, how could it learn to give more of itself than it could ever receive in return? 

Well, not that my own love was perfect. While I sat next to James on the VTOL, I held his hand and felt terribly guilty. They say there’s nothing like Lateran guilt, and I think I can confirm that as a daughter of the church, I am afflicted with as terminal a case as any. 

And, yes, I suppose despite it all, I still believe in the Law. Maybe it’s not a benevolent deity. So what? It has still been a guiding light, sometimes the only guiding light, for millennia. And, maybe, just maybe, there is someone out there, listening to our prayers.

Anyway, I had been a bully. Maybe for my whole life. I had a hard time reconciling that. I am, after all, tiny, weak, and fairly pathetic physically. Plenty of people had bullied me, of course. It’s not hard to pick on the little vulpo girl when you’re a big strong lupo. However, the worst bullies had never been the kind that actually shoved me around or stole my lunch at school. No, they had been the girls who talked about me behind my back, or mocked me openly. The ones who were “just trying to be kind” but shit talked my outfit, or my hair, or, well, my stupid pursuit of boys a good 10cm or more taller than I was. 

Not just vulpo, either. I lost my virginity to a lupo boy, only to find him and his friends laughing about it later. We were in college then, but he talked about how “desperate” I was and how easy I was to manipulate. I hated him, and the girls who showed me the texts from him to mock me. That’s why I stuck to vulpo for a long time. 

So, to think I was a bully was…hard. And yet, I knew Ingrid was right. I did have a tendency to bully James. And well, anyone within reach I suppose. I thought of it as standing up for myself, because, well, I was just a weak little vulpo, and someone had to stand up for me, right? 

“Hey, you OK?” 

I blinked, and looked up at James, who was looking at me with concern. I forced a smile onto my face. “Yes, I’m fine. Just worried about Texas.”

James looked over at Texas, who was gnawing on her second stick of nicotine gum, and sighed. “Yeah, me too.”

“James. She is lying.”

I shot a death glare over at Ingrid, but she didn’t even look up from stroking Lisa’s hair. Our Light had woken up very early for the flight and had passed out in her mother’s lap. She was snoring softly now, and cute as ever. 

“Oh. Is this one of those things where you say you're fine, but you’re not, and  you really want me to ask you about it again?” James said, turning back to me. 

I groaned. “Yes.”

“Ah, OK. So, what’s up? You seem extra gloomy. Is it going back to Siracusa?” 

“A little, though I’m not as bothered about visiting Nueva Volsinii. When we visit Palmero…that will twist my tail,” I admitted. 

“So, what is it, then?” James asked, his forehead wrinkling. 

How could he not know!? It hadn’t even been two hours since we’d had our chat with Ingrid. “Why are you not mad at me?!” 

“I…should I be?” James asked, sounding deeply confused. 

“Yes! I was bullying you! Cruel to you! I’m supposed to love you, care for you, and I was tormenting you!” I said, tears bursting out of my cheeks as my voice broke. 

“Oh. Well, I forgave you,” James said, and hugged me. 

“That’s it?!” I demanded. 

“That’s it. I can yell at you later if you really want me to, though I probably won’t be any good at it. Not while Lisa’s sleeping, though.”

Despite myself, my tail wagged a little. The thought of James actually showing some real emotion towards me…well, alright, he did show real emotion, he just… well, he wasn’t very Siracusan. Which made sense, since he wasn’t even Terran. 

I closed my eyes and leaned against James, and he put his arm around me. “What did I do to deserve you?”

“Be smokin’ hot. Oh, and a really good doctor too.”

I snorted with laughter and felt more at ease. The guilt didn’t go away entirely, but it did subside slightly. 

Texas got increasingly twitchy as we came in for a landing, despite my and James' efforts to encourage her to calm. I don’t know Lappland terribly well, she was never my patient directly, but I can’t think she would willingly attack Texas or Sora. The Famigilia, yes, but not innocents. I’ve even heard she got rave reviews as a cab driver, believe it or not. 

As soon as we landed, Texas was gone, even after James gave her a cooldown hug. We watched her run off across the rooftops, and I could tell James was nearly sick with worry. “She’ll be alright,” I told him. 

“Yeah, Texas and Lappland fought last year, so it’s out of their system, right?” James said with a nervous chuckle.

“That depends entirely on how long she and Sora have been together,” Ingrid commented. “If this is the first time the Saluzzo has heard of it…well. Siracusan lovers have been known to have jealous tifts that end in blood.”

“I hope Texas-san and Lappland-san are able to be friends again,” Lisa said, her ears dropping atop her head. “Lappland-san is fun! She taught me how to make milifoni.”

Ingrid looked so comically aghast that I couldn’t help but laugh at her expression, at least until Rosmontis stepped forward, hand extended. “Reveal yourselves. Or I will reveal you.”

I glanced around the rooftop, but didn’t see anything, while Ingrid immediately shoved Lisa behind her and drew her blade. Red was growing and had her knives out, and the hackles on the back of my neck were rising.

Right there in plain daylight, two men appeared. Both wore blank wolf masks with bar codes on them, and were as bald as eggs. They wore drab, unassuming clothes, and had relaxed postures. Ice formed in the pit of my stomach, and I sucked in a breath. Bocca al Lupo. Silencers. The secret police of Siracusa. If they were not a match for an Emperor’s Blade, they certainly were for a Trilby Asher. They served only the Capo dei Capi. The Lady of Sicily herself. 

“Scusi, Signora Rosmontis. We mean no harm to you or Dr. McCoy,” the Silencer said, bowing slightly. “We are simply here to deliver the good doctor to his patient.”

“What are you-” James said, but his device pinged. He slowly pulled it out of his lab coat’s pocket, and glanced at the screen, then groaned and showed it to me. 

From: Director Kal’tsit. 

Heading: New Mission Objective

Directive: Cure the Godmother

Timeline: Immediately

“You have got to be shitting me!” James exclaimed, looking up in disgust. Ingrid glared at him, but he actually seemed genuinely upset for once. “I’m supposed to cure Al Capone!?”

“No. You are supposed to cure Signori Sicilia,” the Cleaner said, his companion still silent. “In fact, we insist.”

“You are not capable of insisting,” Rosmontis said, her eyes wandering away from the Silencers as she sidestepped between them and James. 

“Scusi, Signora Rosmontis, but you will find-” the Silencer began. Then four more Silencers suddenly appeared, by virtue of being slammed into the hospital rooftop by invisible fists. The Silencer trailed off, and Rosmontis turned to James. 

“If you would like, I can kill them,” she said in her same flat tone. 

“Uh, let’s not kill anyone unless we actually have to, OK?” James said with a heavy sigh. He put his hands into his pockets and frowned. “Sorry, Ingrid, that just slipped out.”

“Forgiven, for now. But we will talk later,” Ingrid said, her tail flicking back and forth as she eyed Rosmontis. “Child, you are much stronger than I thought. Silencers, they are resistant to arts.”

“It’s harder to knock them around,” Rosmontis admitted. “Like having to knock over a boulder. But I can juggle those.”

“This was not the deal,” the Silencer said, as he and his still upright compatriot produced heavy crossbows that looked like they could put bolts through the VTOL’s armor plating. “Doctor Bones, he is supposed to see to the Signora.” 

“Dammit, Kal,” James muttered. He sighed and shook his head. “Right. Take me to her. But they all come with me. None of this ‘you have to go alone’ BS.” 

“I am not so sure about allowing that one, or the Fang, around the Signora,” the Silencer said, his mask pointed at Rosmontis. He hadn’t aimed his crossbow at us, but he was clearly tense. 

“Stand down,” a commanding voice said, and the door to the roof opened. Out stepped a dignified older woman with a fur-lined coat and a cane in her hands, accompanied by a Sankta priest. This was her. The Godmother of Siracusa herself. I reflexively curtsied, and Ingrid even bowed and saluted with her sword, while Lisa executed a perfect curtsy that put mine to shame. James just stood there with his hands in his coat pockets, and Rosmontis didn’t even blink. 

The Silencers bowed and parted for her, while the ones who’d been knocked down struggled to their knees. James took a step forward, and I hastily copied him, while Red prowled forward on his left, and Rosmontis stayed behind us. 

“Bones-sensei!” Lisa hissed, and took out a fan to wrap him on his wrist. “Your lessons!” 

“I know,” James said, giving Lisa a fond smile, but then he looked back at Signori Sicilia, a scowl on his face, still slouching with his hands in his pockets. “Those are for people I respect, however.”

The priest chuckled and stepped forward. “And you do not respect your elders, young man?”

“I respect my elders. Just not murderers and gangsters, Father Agenir,” James said bluntly. I flinched, but he wasn’t wrong. The Godmother had an ocean of blood on her hands, and while Grey Hall wasn’t as bad as the chaos that had come before, the Twelve Families were still simply a collection of thugs and gangsters who lorded it over the Siracusan city-states with bloody-minded cruelty. 

“James,” Ingrid said, and he turned to her, frowning. “Do not be a child. Politeness costs nothing. Rudeness, however, may cost you everything.”

“Yeah, OK.” James stood up straight and took his hands out of his pockets, but only to fold them over his chest. He glowered down at the Signora, and said, “With all due respect, ma’am, give me one good reason I should cure you instead of someone who isn’t a mass murdering monster.”

“Because at my command, all the resources of Siracusa will be at Rhodes Island’s disposal. And from the missive I received, you will have need of all you can get soon,” the Signora said bluntly. “I was told you might be difficult. If you were, I was to tell you one word: Priestess.”

James blanched and looked away, unfolding his arms. “OK, that’s a pretty compelling reason. I suppose it’s a secret that you’re an Infected?”

I felt my eyes widen, but of course. That had to be the reason. Ingrid shifted slightly, while Lisa gasped. The Silencers and the priest didn’t react, though I hazarded that most of the Silencers hadn’t known. 

“A secret known to very few. Thankfully, the signs are easily concealed,” the Signora said, running a hand up her full-length gloves with a wry smile. “My condition is not especially severe. But I believe we should conduct this conversation somewhere more private. Come. I have an entire floor ready for us.”

“Of course you do,” James growled, his lip curling. “And what about all the patients who need care?”

“They will be seen to. Who knows? With a famous doctor with miracle arts here, perhaps they could all be saved from their more mundane afflictions,” the Signora said, turning away. 

I took James’ hand, standing on tiptoes and pulling him down slightly so I could whisper in his ear. “James, if you don’t want to cure her, we can go. Rosmontis can cover us, and the VTOL has enough fuel to take us somewhere else. You don’t have to do this.”

“Yeah, but I trust Kal. I don’t know why she’s got me doing this, but Priestess is still out there and a major threat. We’re going to need all the help we can get. Even…well, even from the mafia, probably.”

That made me feel…dirty. I’d never been a part of any famiglia, but, well…this was Siracusa. And I was Siracusan. Like it or not, this was all a part of me too, in some ways. I couldn’t help but feel that James’ disgust with my homeland was reflected in me, somehow. I knew in my brain that was silly, but my heart was another matter. 

Something for later. For now, we were led into the hospital, into a floor that was eerily silent. It was mostly full of private rooms that had all been cleared out, and I recognized that this was a hospital for the wealthy, not the common folk of Siracusa. While Siracusa did have excellent medical care, comparable to wealthier and more powerful nations like Yan or Leithania, the fact was that such care was really only available to the rich and powerful. We were not unique in that; Columbia and Kazimerz were famous for their own capitalistic stratified societies, and it was deeply unpleasant to dwell on. 

We were led to a fully functional OR, where several medical staff were waiting for us. All were lupos, and just by looking at them, I hazarded that they were the Signora’s personal medical team. James insisted on introductions, and had the Signora’s personal physician pull up her charts and show them to us. 

“It is a mild case. Blood count is .22 u/L. Cell integration is only 2%. Visible lesions only on the left forearm, though there is one developing in the left armpit that will become visible in a few months, if, that is, this treatment proves ineffective.”

“And you have the hemodialysis machine ready,” James said, eyeing the charts and the medical devices in the room. 

“Yes, we conducted one session yesterday, and will perform another during the surgery.”

“But the patient is 83. Lupo life expectancy is 88. Doesn’t seem like this case is going to be more terminal than anything else,” James said, glancing over at the Signora, who had already changed into a hospital gown. I had conducted my own exam, and there were indeed two small lesions on her arm. 

“With good medical care, it wouldn’t be surprising for the Signora to live another 20 years. Her grandmother lived to be 102,” the doctor said.

James pulled up a chair and spun it around, leaning on the back and sliding it over to the Signora. Even up on the operating table, she was only at eye level with James, and he was slouching again. He eyed her silently for a few moments, and she calmly returned his gaze. He broke the silence first. 

“Frankly, I don’t think you need this procedure. You’re more likely to die of natural causes in the next decade than you are of oripathy,” James said. 

The Signora gave him a somewhat condescending smile. “You simply find me to be repulsive, because you think I am a criminal. Well, I will tell you this, without me-”

“No, that’s not it.” James interrupted, raising a hand. “Right now, I’m just a doctor, and you’re just the patient. I’m going to give you my honest medical opinion, which is this: this procedure is dangerous. Not just for me, but for the one I operate on. I killed the first patient I cured.”

There were startled gasps and shifting, and the Signora’s eyes narrowed. “I was not informed.”

“Well, I’m telling you now. I cured a 10-year-old patient who was in fragile health, and he was dead on the operating table and had to be revived. Kids are generally tougher than someone of your age, at least medically speaking. The other patients didn’t expire, including one Cellinia Texas, who I assume you are familiar with.”

The Signora nodded slowly, and James continued, “She’s probably the closest analogue to you: most of the patients I’ve cured are healthy adults, but Texas is a healthy adult female lupo of approximately your size and build, with an infection that was analogous to yours for the most part. She very nearly expired as well. But, she’s about 60 years younger than you. That matters.”

“So, you are refusing to cure the Signora?!” one of the other doctors demanded, but James rolled his eyes. 

“That is not what I am doing, I am being a professional and clearly communicating to the patient the risks. Her oripathy is not advanced, and not, at this time, life-threatening. There are clear dangers to an experimental medical procedure that she needs to fully understand and consent to, before we move forward.”

“This may not be how you do it in Scicilia, but on Rhodes Island, it is how we practice medicine,” I said, giving the doctor my own glare. He quieted, and James turned back to the Signora.

“Now, on to possible benefits: this is a full-body rebuild, the way I do it. I won’t magically make you younger or the prime of your youth, but it might help with your rheumatoid arthritis and those old cracked ribs, and the other scars you’ve got. I’m not sure, I’ve never used my arts on someone who’s geriatric before. So, this will at least be a novel test case that will provide useful data.”

“I see,” the Signora said when James finished. She glanced at her doctors, then turned to me. “And what do you recommend, Doctor Sussurro?”

I blinked in surprise, but hastily straightened up as best I could. “At your advanced age, I would recommend against the procedure. It’s physically taxing, and the medical benefit is minimal in regards to lifespan. Your chart doesn’t show you experiencing severe complications from Oriapthy, and you won’t for a decade with the medications you’re already taking.”

“And if I insist?” the Signora asked, her gaze locking on to James.

He sighed. “Then I’ll perform the procedure. Personal feelings aside, I trust Kal’tsit. I’d say you should know this means I can’t heal someone else, but I’m pretty sure that doesn’t matter to you.”

“It does not.” The Signora lay back on the table and closed her eyes. “Begin the procedure.”

It still took a while to get everything ready. Red was extremely unhappy to be forced to stay outside, as was Rosmontis, but the Signora stated none of her body guards would be allowed in the OR either, so we compromised. Lisa and Ingrid went to a separate room to wait, and James and I changed and scrubbed down.

“How do you feel about this?” I asked him quietly as we changed together in the ready room.

“If I’m honest, pissed,” he said, though he sounded more tired than angry. “Like I said: I heal her, I can’t heal someone who does deserve it.” 

“That’s not part of being a doctor though,” I told him gently. “Sometimes, our patients aren’t good people. I know it’s different for you, because it costs you so much to heal someone, but, sometimes…sometimes the rich and the powerful get to cut in line.”

“Yeah, and if Priestess is back soon…we’re going to need her. I just remembered something too: PRTS being on the fritz probably means Priestess is coming back before long. How long, I don’t know. But I think I fucked things up. Again.”

He slumped down, looking defeated and staring at the lesions on his right hand. I went over and gave him a hug, squeezing him as tightly as I could and willing as much of myself into him as possible. All my own strength and passion, let it kindle in him, just a little.

“You’ve already saved so many lives. Who knows: maybe Doktah and Kal’tsit have a plan to handle Priestess thanks to what you brought back,” I whispered, and kissed him on the cheek. 

He gave me a smile and kissed me back, then groaned as I helped him up to his feet. “Alright. Let’s do some medicine.”

The procedure was quick and relatively simple. We had it down to a science by now and knew exactly what to do. They already had Signora knocked out and hooked up to the dialysis machine when James came out. He absorbed the originium nodules, then scrubbed the rest of her system in under an hour. I had to make the incisions for him, but we were a team working in perfect unison by this point. 

By the end of it, James was flagging badly, and in a great deal of pain. The Signora was still out when I helped him to his own room and checked his levels. 

“You’re at .42 u/L, 9% cell integration,” I told him as he lay in the bed. 

“Not too bad,” he mumbled. “Could still do another, probably.”

“I don’t think so. I’m going to sedate you. You need rest. When you wake up, we’ll have you heal as many people as you can. I brought some doses of Solvignis to help with that.”

The sudden craving that burned in James’ hollow eye made me want to weep. I could see him force it down, but he wanted that drug. “Alright. Whatever you think is best. Don’t want to go on another bender if it’s going to cause problems.”

“It won’t, and we need to get your levels down,” I told him, then gave him a cocktail for the pain and to put him out for a while. I turned to Red and Rosmontis. “Keep him safe, alright?”

“Anyone try to hurt Bones man, Red kill them,” the teenage assassin growled. 

“I have informed our hosts I will level the hospital if anyone attempts to harm Operator Bones,” Rosmontis said. She paused when I looked at her aghast, then added, “I know you don’t want me to, but the mission comes first. And the Director told me to keep him safe, at any costs. I am sorry. I know destroying a hospital would make you and Mr. Bones sad.”

“Leveling this place would do the world a favor,” Ingrid commented, stepping into the room. I glared at her, but she shrugged. “This is San Corleone. It is not for the common man. It is a place for the Made Men and dons to come heal after their latest bloody battle. Destroying it would only do the world some good.”

“That’s not how Nueva Volsinii is supposed to work!” I hissed, keeping my voice down as James got some much-needed rest. 

“Then it is unfortunate that it is so. The hospital, it is run by Grey Hall. My father, he is on the board of directors. I have come here many a time when wounded. As I am a Made Man, they treated me without question. But a wounded civilian? If they are lucky, an ambulance takes them to Sacra Custodia. If not…they are put in a room to bleed out, and their organs harvested. Do not make such a face: this is a fact.”

I growled, but we were in Siracusa. Of course that was how things worked. If you were a normal person, the waitlist for an organ transplant was a kilometer long. But if you were a Made Man…well. There were always bodies with organs they didn’t need anymore somewhere. Even if they were still alive. 

“On second thought, smash this place to dust if they harm a single hair on James’ head,” I told Rosmontis. 

“Of course. Should I leave any survivors?” she asked as calmly as if I told her to sweep up a dropped plate. 

“Yes, don’t destroy the hospital unless you have to, and avoid casualties,” I groaned. Then paused. “Except for any armed combatants who attempt to harm James. Pound them to dust.”

“That’s a good plan. You’re a very kind person,” Rosmontis told me with a small smile. 

“Yes, well, we should probably try and find out what Texas is up to, and if she’s still alive,” I said, pulling out my phone for the first time. I selected a number from my contacts, then sent a quick text message. A few minutes later, my phone buzzed. 

Hey, good to hear from you, Sussurro! No, I haven’t heard anything from Texas, but we are still in Nueva Volsinii. Should I message her? 

I groaned and shook my head. “Texas, you idiota lupo.” Then I called Sora. Thankfully, she picked up. 

“Hello! Is Texas with you, Sussurro?” Sora said in chipper tones. 

“No, she thinks Lappland kidnapped you, actually, and I think she’s gone off to try to rescue you.”

Sora audibly groaned. “Are you serious? Why would Lappland…she did this on purpose, didn’t she?”

“I don’t know, but I suspect someone set this up, and my first guess would be Lappland as a matter of fact,” I said. “I’m putting you on speaker. I’ve got a team here, including Ingrid Venezia who is our resident expert on all matters Famiglia.”

“Um, hello!” Sora said, then I heard her yell as though she’d moved the phone away from her mouth, “BOSS! Texas thinks Lappland kidnapped me! Do you think she’s going to do something stupid?”

There was a loud yell that sounded like Emperor, then Sora seemed to put her phone on speaker as well. “A’ight, this is Big E. You brought my girls back? And why the fuck would you let Texas just run off thinking Sora’s been kidnapped? You know that big dumb wolf is sweet on my little pop star.”

“She was somewhat insistent,” Ingrid said, rolling her eyes. “She is a grown woman. And, I confess, I thought the Saluzzo bitch had kidnapped Miss Sora. Or at least was threatening her. It is something the Saluzzos are experts at.”

“Uh huh. Sounds like you blownin’ smoke out your ass and don’t know shit, woman,” Emperor growled. “CROISSANT! Get the keys, we’re going to find those girls ‘fore they do something stupid as hell.”

Ingrid’s tail bristled and I winced, and there was some scuffling. 

“Um, Lucia, how mad was Cellinia?” Sora said somewhat breathlessly, and it sounded like she was moving. 

“She was somewhat committed to killing Lappland if you were in any danger,” I said, grabbing Ingrid’s hand and dragging her outside. Lisa was sitting outside in a chair, and jumped up when she saw the looks on our faces. Ingrid motioned for her to follow, and we dashed to the stairs and hurried down. 

“Do you have any idea where Lappland would be?” I panted as we ran. I didn’t feel good about leaving James, but me being there wouldn’t keep him any safer. And, as much as I loathed famiglia doctors, they had a vested interest in keeping James alive. Being Signoria Sicilia’s personal physicians, they were also likely to be the best in Siracusa. 

“No! She said she was going to be busy for the next few days and left!” Sora cried. “Where are you?!” 

“San Corleone hospital. Can you pick us up? Whatever Texas and Lappland is doing, it’s likely they’ll need a good doctor,” I said, feeling my insides gnaw at themselves as I grew more and more tense. 

“Be there in five,” Emperor said. “Croissant, drive like you stole it.”

“Got it, bawss! Red lights optional it is!” 

It was more like three minutes before a black van that had been spray painted with vivid bright colors and “PENGUIN LOGISTICS” screeched to a halt in front of us and the door popped open.

“Get in!” a frantic Sora urged, and the three of us jumped in. 

“Got a lock on where the two dumb bit-” Emperor began, but paused when a knife appeared at his throat, and Ingrid leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

“I have heard that you are immortal,” she crooned softly. “We can either test this, or, you can keep a civil tongue in your head. The choice, it is yours.”

“Well, damn, shawty, I- URK!” 

“Civil. Tongue,” Ingrid growled as the knife drew closer to his throat.

“Mamma-san, I have heard worse,” Lisa said, tugging at her mother’s sleeve.

Ingrid turned and smiled at her daughter. “Oh, mamma is simply having a polite discussion with this liberi. It seems he is not familiar with spending time around children, yes? Sometimes, grownups need reminders as to how to behave themselves.”

“I can watch my language, woman, but you gotta get some help for that temper of yours,” Emperor growled, and Ingrid withdrew the knife, which vanished up one of her sleeves. “And another thing: I ain’t a liberi, no matter what they tell ya.”

Ingrid frowned at Emperor’s reflection in the mirror as he glared at her. “Ah, I apologize, I simply assumed. You are…?”

“The Emperor of all Birds. And iffin ya don’t know what a bird is…well. Maybe they should send mamma-san back to school.”

Ingrid glanced at me, and I shrugged. “The Emperor’s Blade called him a Beast Lord, so I think he is something like one of the Signori dei Lupi.”

“Ah, I see,” Ingrid said with a nod. “You are a god then.”

“Don’t be callin’ that evil down on my head. I’m just a producer, small business owner, and rap star. Only god I recognize is Bruce M. Marshall IV.”

“I am…not familiar with that name,” Ingrid admitted, but Sussurro giggled. 

“He is Enimen! He wrote Rap God.”

“And when did my daughter listen to such music?!” Ingrid gasped, looking deeply mortified at the very thought. 

“U-um, w-well…” Lisa stammered, looking rather embarrassed as we careened through the streets. Croissant, it seemed, did not believe in brakes, or traffic laws, as we were currently driving in the wrong lane at twice the posted speed limit. 

“Hey, that’s good music. And I would know. Kid’s gettin’ an education. Maybe it’s got some fowl language, pun intended, but Bruce has a flow and rhythm like no other. They teach his stuff in college courses now,” Emperor said, even as we were all pressed to the side as Croissant took a corner at a speed that made me worried the van would tip over. 

“Um, can we focus on Cellinia and Lappland?” Sora asked, sounding only slightly hysterical. “Why are they trying to kill one another!?”

“Ah that, it is complicated, but not so much,” Ingrid said, allowing herself to be drawn more or less back on topic. “You see, the Saluzzo, she seems to have learned that you and the Texas have become lovers.”

“Oh, um…I-I did tell her that. She…well, she implied she and Texas used to be together, but, well…they’d broken up years ago,” Sora said, fidgeting nervously. “She seemed to take it ok…”

“The Saluzzo, she is not right in the head,” Ingrid said, shaking her head in disgust. 

“Lappland-san has been very kind to me. She taught me to cook,” Lisa repeated, which made Ingrid grind her teeth.

“Nah, shawty’s right,” Emperor opined. “Lappland, she’s crazier than a pimp on a three-day bender.”

Ingrid growled, and Emperor laughed. “Calm yourself, woman. Save the angry for when we get there. ‘Cause I expect either we’re gonna find them fightin’ or, well the other thing that starts with F, and, well, when those two go at it, they don’t mess around.”

“Lappland-san and Texas-san should be friends. Why do they have to fight?” Lisa asked, tears filling her eyes. 

“It is the poison of Siracusa,” Ingrid told her daughter, stroking Lisa’s hair. “And why mamma-san keeps you in Higashi. Siracusa…her Honor and Blood corrupt all. Even love.”

“Well, then we shall just have to teach them some manners,” Lisa said, her tone going rather serious, the air around her crackling slightly. “And Mamma-san and I are very good at teaching manners.”

“Bawss, we got trouble!” Croissant cried, not taking her hands off the wheel or eyes off the road. However, up ahead, we could see smoke billowing above the agricultural plate, and I groaned. Whatever Texas and Lappland were doing, it involved burning something down.

“STEP ON IT!” Sora shrieked, leaning forward in her seatbelt. “You have to get there before Cellinia does something stupid, or worse, Lappland actually hurts her! I thought they were supposed to be friends, even if they were exes!” 

“As I said. Siracusan love, it is deadly,” Ingrid said grimly, unbuckling herself. “Lisa-”

“Mamma-san! I can help!” Lisa begged.

Ingrid hesitated, then nodded. “Stay with Doctor Sussurro. Provide support. Against the Texas and the Saluzzo…I will need it.”

“Ain’t them ya gotta worry about,” Emperor said as we roared up the driveway to what we could now see was a mansion that had been lit on fire, then demolished by the way the rubble was smoldering. “It’s my old crew. You let me handle them. Why I’m here, after all.”

We skidded to a halt to find Lappland and Texas sitting back to back on a slab of rubble in a pool of blood. A lot of blood. My heart nearly stopped when I saw it, because even with two people, that was enough to be in serious danger of exsanguination. Texas barely even fluttered her eyes open and looked up when Sora ran up to her and cradled her body. I ignored the choir of floating, shadowy wolf spirits and got out my medical kit. I didn’t have what I would need, which was about three units of blood, each, and that was just to start. 

“They’re far gone. I don’t know how much I can do; James is still unconscious,” I said as I took out some bandages. Texas and Lappland had deep lacerations all over their body, but what really scared me was how little they were bleeding. I didn’t know how they were still breathing: probably some manifestation of their combat arts, but if that ran out, they were both dead in seconds. 

Lisa pressed hersefl forward, pulling out her arts wand. “Mamma-san, Sussurro-sensei, let me.” She did know James’ miraculous healing arts, and it was probably about the only hope we had of a successful cure. 

“It is too dangerous!” Ingrid protested, but I cut her off. 

“It cures her oripathy!” I snapped, and Ingrid grimaced and didn’t press further, so I turned to Lisa. “You try, Lisa. I’ll watch. Use whatever arts I can to help.”

She nodded eagerly, and took my hand in hers. “Hai! I must use Bones-sensei’s arts. Here, take my hand, Sussurro-sensei. I will show you how.”

I sighed, even as Lisa stuck her tongue out, concentrating as she grabbed Texas’ arm. “Lisa, I can’t. I’ve tried. I-”

Information, in a language I couldn’t speak nor read, flooded my mind. I saw strange symbols, and felt as though a great key had been inserted into a lock in my mind. It turned, and I felt a door open, as if someone had let me into a room that had always been there, but had previously been hidden and barred to me. 

I blinked rapidly, even as Lisa fainted, still clutching her hand, still holding on to the key. I had missed something, but Ingrid was shouting at me to heal Lappland.

“I…I think I can,” I said, and used my teeth to peel off my glove, then took Lappland’s bloody hand in my own. I could feel it within me. Power. Information. A…language? It was singing in my blood, in my heart. It was the music of not just Siracusa, but the whole world. I raised my mental wand, and began to conduct that music. 

I wove it into a song and spell, and I could feel Lappland’s body. I could see in my mind’s eye what her body should have looked like, whole. I could even sense more of that power in her, but I couldn’t touch it. That door was still locked, for some reason. But there was so much damage…I had to use every ounce of the words within me to fill in the gaps in the story that made up who Lappland Salluzo was. I didn’t even finish before I ran out of power, and I felt myself slip into arts overload, and unconsciousness. 

As I did, the music of the world faded, and I could sense it no more. 

But I had done it.

I had used James’s arts, and I had saved a life. 

Saints and Angels…maybe God did have a plan for us after all. 

The Second Archon War: Animula Choragi 25

Animula Choragi 25: Te Deum

There is a life about to start

When tomorrow comes

Furina raised her hands between Julie and Barbara, smiling out at the crowd as they stood and applauded. Everyone bowed, and the cast went backstage, before, of course, coming back out for an encore. This time, Furina sang “I Dreamed a Dream” for the encore, and the audience exploded. Roses were cast upon the stage, and Furina received bouquets from several admirers. Diane and Yennifer came up on stage, and Furina picked Diane up as the cast came back out to stand with Furina. 

“I want to thank you all! Thanks to your love and support, I can go home to my daughter, Diane, and no longer fear that she will be taken from me!” Furina said, and the audience cheered again as Diane waved enthusiastically. It was far past her bedtime, even during the summer on a Saturday night, but for this special performance after the Bastille Day Blasphemy attack, Diane had come to see her mother perform. 

It was all quite heady and exciting, especially when Yennifer kissed Furina on stage for the world to see. She should have felt as though everything was finally right with the world, and her trials and tribulations were over, at least for now. Iron Mask was dead, and while there was chaos in the government, that power vacuum seemed to be allowing for more moderate forces to be taking hold, led by Jeanne. Paris was the beating heart of France, and Mayor of Paris was a position of no small import. 

However, Furina felt oppressed, as though a dark cloud hung over her. Not just the looming threat of the Tsaritsa and the battle in Kazakhstan that had concluded earlier in the day, but something else. The Blasphemies were still out there, along with whatever malevolent force controlled them. 

Holding Diane tight, and with her other arm around Yennifer, Furina promised herself she wouldn’t allow anything to happen to either of them. No matter what it cost her. 

And I still have to figure out how we’re going to defeat Scion. I suppose creating Indemnitium is a good first step, but there has to be more I can do. 

We’ve some time yet. We cannot sit idly by, but we have until the rest of the Seven arrive, and then perhaps a few decades beyond that. So, bask in your people’s adoration! If nothing else, their faith will allow you to safeguard them with the time comes. 

Even against the King of Demons?

With enough, perhaps, though even with the greatly increased population of our people on this world, I doubt it will be enough. Still, you will find a way, Furina. You did last time. 

Furina kept a smile on her face as she waved at the audience and blew kisses at them, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that she had only gotten a stay of execution, not a dismissal. 

For the past three hours, René Dubois has been enraptured. He considered himself a man of wealth and taste, and a patron of the arts. After all, were not his Blasphemies the pinnacle of art themselves? Of course they were. 

That said, while his Blasphemies were exquisite, there was still something to be said for the human element of art. And he had just witnessed the pinnacle of this in the form of Furina de Fontaine. Oh, the other actors had been good, especially Éponine and Fantine, but Furina? She was a divine revelation. 

He turned to the other occupant of the booth, a strikingly beautiful woman with a cold expression on her face. Unlike the rest of the audience, she hadn’t been moved once by the performance. And why should she be? The Filigree never reacted to anything, unless René had programmed her to. She had changed faces to be his escort this evening, but no heart beat within her chest. 

“Well, my dear, I think we shall have to take an interest in Miss de Fontaine’s career, don’t you think?” 

“Furina started acting in Paris after landing a role in a small community production of Les Misérables at the Théâtre de l’Ondine. Her rehearsal video went viral online, selling out the entire run before opening night. The show ran for about two months, roughly thirty to forty performances, and her lead performance made her the-”

“Yes, thank you, I am aware. But that voice! How to bolster her career!” René muttered to himself.

“Of course, you’re absolutely right. If you want to strengthen Furina’s acting career, focus on building her visibility and credibility beyond that first breakout role. Would you like to hear some suggestions?”

René nodded to the Filigree and motioned for her to continue as he pondered the stage, where Furina was kissed by another woman. Was she a dyke? Ah, yes, Jean-Pierre had mentioned that.  Well, that was fine. So long as he didn’t have to share her with another man. 

“One, public relations: Keep her connected to the momentum from Les Misérables. Arrange interviews, sponsor small charity performances, and have her appear at cultural events — audiences should see her as the rising face of Parisian theater. Two Training and Mentorship-”

He listened to the Filigree recite potential ways to amplify Furina’s signal. The idea of sending her to acting school was asinine. She was already clearly incredibly talented and polished, despite being a near amateur.

“No, no! Give me something that I, René Dubois, can do with my means!” he snapped. 

The Filigree processed for only a moment before smiling. “Good idea — Furina will need a wealthy backer if she wants to become a real star. If you’re considering championing Furina’s career, a patronage arrangement could transform her from a talented performer into a national sensation — could do the following: Secure Her Leading Roles, Sponsor Her Season, Cultivate Her Image, Ensure Artistic Freedom.

“In short: with your support, Furina could move from performing in crowded playhouses to defining the golden age of French theater itself. Would you like me to expand on these options, or were you thinking of something else?”

“Yes, yes, this is it! Expand on these ideas!” René agreed eagerly. 

“Ok, great! Here’s expanded information on how a wealthy patron could help influence Furina’s career — and promote French culture. Commission new works with her in mind — plays and musicals that showcase her dramatic range and unique voice. A role written for Furina would set her apart from every other performer on the Parisian circuit.”

“Yes, yes, let’s do that! But who to commission?” Dubois pondered aloud, still hunkered down in his box as the lights of the theater came on and those below began to exit. 

As always, the Filigree was immediately attentive to her master’s request. “If you’re considering supporting Furina’s rise in the arts, there’s one clear candidate to commission — Émile Caron, the young playwright and director at the Théâtre de l’Ondine. He’s talented, ambitious, and already familiar with Furina’s work from Les Misérables. Though his first two productions, Le Gendre de Monsieur Poirier and Les Ombres du Pouvoir, both failed to find an audience, he’s eager for redemption and hungry to restore France’s theatrical prestige.

With proper funding, Émile could write a new, original production crafted specifically for Furina’s strengths — a piece designed to showcase her emotional range and musical talent. Your patronage would not only secure her a starring role but also give him the chance to rebuild his career on the foundation of her success.

In short, commissioning Émile Caron would be a masterstroke: you’d unite an ambitious playwright in need of a muse with a rising actress in need of a defining role — and in doing so, help usher in a revival of modern French theater.”

“Ah ha! An excellent idea! I’m glad I thought of it. Yes…yes we must talk to Émile! Arrange a meeting, a private one, between Émile and myself. Furina must not know I am her sponsor from the shadows. Indeed, Émile himself must not know. One day, the time will be right to reveal that I am the one behind France’s rise to power and glory, but not yet. No, not yet…make it happen!” 

“Affirmative, Master. Your directive is understood. Contact with Émile Caron will be initiated through indirect channels to preserve your anonymity.

A private meeting will be arranged under the guise of a confidential artistic consultation — the invitation delivered by an intermediary posing as a cultural liaison. Neither Furina nor Émile will be aware of your involvement.

When the meeting concludes, Émile will believe he has been approached by an unseen benefactor seeking to commission a new theatrical work. His curiosity will drive him to accept the offer without hesitation.

All arrangements will be made discreetly. You will remain invisible… until the moment you choose to step into the light.”

Confident in his new plan, René stood and swaggered out, reaching out an arm to draw the Filigree close to him. “You have done well, my sweet. I think a reward is in order for you tonight, eh? What do you think of that?” 

The Filigree instantly took on a seductive look to her face, and melted into Rene’s side. “Of course, Master. For my reward — I want nothing more than to share your bed tonight. Your pleasure is my greatest reward.”

“Mmm, yes, but we must check on your sister, eh? We shall see how Jean-Pierre enjoys his new accommodations, eh?” 

Rene laughed, and the Filigree laughed along with it. Soon, he was in his private car, and the Filigree drove him for nearly an hour to a small château just outside of Giverny. It had once belonged to another Tinker who had collaborated to help create the Blasphemies, but René had taken it along with the woman’s wealth when he’d murdered her. That one had been messy: She’d nearly killed him before he’d stabbed her, and his chest still ached from where the bullet had been extracted. But it had been worth it. 

The grounds of the château were a bit overgrown and unmaintained, but René decided they would need to be improved: He’d be spending a lot more time in Paris, and as such, it needed more caretakers. He’d just have to kill the elderly couple who maintained the grounds and replace them with constructs. Not too difficult: their children rarely visited, and they had few guests. 

That hadn’t been Rene’s specific gift, replacing organic life with mechanical. That had been another man, whom he’d poisoned. Normally, killing and replacing that elderly couple would be impossible, even with the Blasphemies to help him. But now, René had a plan. One that would see him become as powerful as an Archon, or even more so. If by indirect means. 

He found the Doll strapped down, her head removed as René had been working on that specifically. It was the neural networks that were his specialty, though he needed a blueprint. He stopped by a large shelf, where carefully labeled bell jars stood. Each contained a head, exquisitely preserved in clear liquid that made them look as though they were still alive. Indeed, they were, at least to a degree, and René waved fondly to all of them. 

“Ah, Amélie, as beautiful as ever. How are you today?” René asked the jar with the head of the woman who he’d murdered for his current house. She snarled and snapped at him, but couldn’t speak. Initially, René had installed devices that let the heads talk back, but that had proven a bad idea when he’d destroyed several jars in a rage and nearly lost their occupants. 

Rene joked with several other faces, before arriving at last at the one he sought: the sullen head of Jean-Pierre Lefevre. More commonly known as Iron Mask. Chorteling, René plucked the jar off the shelf, then carried it over to the workbench beside the Doll’s body, and plugged it into a device. 

“Well, Jean-Pierre, how are you enjoying your new accommodations, eh?” René asked. 

“You are a fool, Dubois,” Jean-Pierre’s voice said, sounding slightly digitalized as it emanated from the speakers. “Without me, France will descend into chaos, and you will lose everything!” 

Rene leaned down on his elbows and grinned at Jean-Pierre. “As a matter of fact, my friend, the opposite has happened! You were so hated and disliked that with you gone, everyone has united and things are progressing quite well. It turns out you had made yourself the problem, eh?” 

“See how long that lasts without me! If anyone is more hated than I, it is you!” Jean-Pierre snarled.

“True, true. For now, the world reviles me, for they do not see my vision!” René said, and he stared off into space. He saw it all: The glorious future. One where France rose above all other nations once more, Paris the shining city on a hill for all the world to see, and René Dubois and his marvels as the highest pinnacle of it all! 

He turned to Jean-Pierre, who was gnashing his teeth. “But, for that, I am afraid I need one more thing from you, my friend.”

“I will give you nothing!” Jean-Pierre spat, though it didn’t do much now that he was just a head. 

“Ah, but you already have.” René pulled out the titular Iron Mask, and set it on the table.

“That? It will do nothing for you. It only works for me, “ Jean-Pierre said, a smug grin on his face.

“True! Which is why I preserved you and your Corona Pollentia,” René said, tapping the glass and making Jean-Pierre flinch. “Why I preserved all these Corona Pollentia’s.”

Rene disconnected Jean-Pierre’s speaker and set about his task of copying the man’s neural networks into the Doll’s head. This was a process he’d done many times before, and something his gift let him do. He needed a master to work from, of course, he couldn’t simply recreate a brain from scratch. When he was done, he reconnected the Doll’s head, and activated her. 

“Good evening, my sweet,” René crooned, and caressed the Doll’s face. 

She smiled up at him, “...power... restored. Diagnostic sweep… ninety-four percent integrity. Optics online. Awaiting new directives, Master.”

“Integrate the Iron Mask,” René ordered, and waited. 

“Directive acknowledged… integrating foreign Tinkertech now,” the Doll lifted the mask up to her face, which unfolded and revealed a series of sensitive connectors. Lights flashed as the mask was placed inside of the Doll’s head, and her voice spoke. 

“Adaptive alloy: fused neuro-reactive substrate… fascinating. Crosslink detected—Jean-Pierre Lefevre neural signature, residual potency at twenty-six percent.” 

Rubbing his hands gleefully, René watched as his creation integrated the Mask. It was working! His genius was finally paying off! 

“Integration sequence initiated. Assimilating combat heuristics, command hierarchy, and… personality fragments.” The Doll’s eyes met Rene’s own from the sides of her face. “He resisted you even in death, Master… but his code bends now. It remembers obedience.”

Finally, the Doll’s face folded back into place, sealing off the Iron Mask within the skull. “Integration complete. The Iron Mask has been… repurposed. Its knowledge serves you now. Awaiting further orders, Master René.”

Rene turned to Jean-Pierre’s head, the eyes nearly popping out of the skull. He picked up the bell jar and lifted it so that Jean-Pierre’s eyes met his own to gloat. “You see, Jean-Pierre? My creations are truly wondrous! Even your remarkable gifts can be integrated. Observe! Clockwork? Take on the form of Furina de Fontaine.”

Though it had not been she who had integrated the Iron Mask, the Clockwork’s form rippled regardless. After a moment, a perfect replica of Furina de Fontaine stood before Rene, right down to wearing Fantane’s costume from the play. However, the copy was not as perfect as René would have liked. “Compliance… partial replication only.”

“What do you mean!?” René spluttered, dropping Jean-Pierre’s belljar with a thud and striding over to glare down at the Furina copy. 

“Replication incomplete,” the Clockwork stated, her voice as sweet as Furina’s in tone but missing…something. Something René could not articulate. 

“What do you mean incomplete!? Define this!” René barked, spittle flying from his lips in his rage.

The Clockwork cocked her head to one side, Furina’s voice now as empty of real emotion as the Blasphemies ever were. “Source pattern… unstable. Identity signature exceeds physical and cognitive limits of current chassis. I traced the shape, the tone, the posture… but there are parameters I cannot translate. They do not reside in tissue, or sound, or light.”

Rene’s hands made fists, and he fought to restrain his anger. “What do you mean, source pattern unstable?! I copied the Corona Pollentia of Jean-Pierre perfectly!” 

The copy’s gaze flicked sideways, almost as if listening to something distant that only she could hear. “There is… resonance. Undefined. It rejects integration. I can wear the surface, but the core remains—empty.

“I am close, Master. Eighty-seven percent likeness achieved. But the remainder will not yield. It is not code, not memory, not power. It is something… other. Shall I continue refinement, Master René? Or would you prefer I remain as I am—her image, without… whatever it is that I lack?”

“Can you use the Hydro Vision?” René demanded, his range still coursing through his chest. 

Reaching behind itself, the Clockwork pulled out a Hydro Vision, which glowed with elemental energy. With a gesture, water flowed over its hands. “Hydro replication… functional at superficial level only, Master. The element obeys, but it does not listen. The current moves—yet the tide does not answer.”

“Interesting. Your vocabulary…it has altered slightly.” René reached up, caressing the blue hair of the Furina copy. “Perhaps this was more successful than I thought.” 

The Clockwork responded, closing its eyes and tilting its head back, lips parted slightly. René bent down and kissed her hungrily, almost gnawing at its lips as he pawed at the Clockwork’s body. 

“Hmm, a more perfect copy than usual. I believe it is time for…a test drive,” René chuckled. He glanced over at Doll, who was standing and watching passively. “Go and help the Filigree. Create copies of the groundskeepers. Then go find a few homeless bums in Paris. Kill them, dispose of the bodies, and then create replicants to serve as a staff. Try to find attractive bums, eh? But no one who will be missed. Immigrants, drug addicts, fags. The like.” 

The doll bowed. “Of course, Master. Should I prioritize young, female targets of the kind you prefer?”

“I will need a few men too, for the heavy labor,” René said, not even considering that a robot body would be just as strong whether crafted in male or female form. “As for the women, yes, obviously. Perhaps a few older ones that can be made handsome. Off with you.”

The Doll bowed and turned, then dashed off at full speed to see her task. René continued to paw at the Clockwork in Furina’s form, his mind full of nothing more than base lust. He paused, both himself and the Clockwork half undressed, glancing at the shelf full of heads. Some looked disgusted, others fascinated, but all were staring at him. 

“Hmph, well, no show for you tonight, my friends! Come, my sweet! You serve your master perfectly tonight!” René cackled, then attempted to pick up the Clockwork in a bridal carry. He grunted, finding her to be far too heavy for a man of his age and lack of physical fitness. 

“Do you require assistance, master?” the Clockwork asked, only to be slapped across the face, which made René howl as his palm rebounded off her far too sturdy cheeks.

“DO NOT QUESTION ME!” he raged, and, grabbing a pipe, began to beat at the Blasphemy. The construct took the blows impassively, which only made René rage harder. 

The world should be his to control! All of it! Not just France! He would make Europe dance to his strings! 

All the while, the men and women he’d stolen from watched as René Dubois beat their creation. None of them had realized what a monster they’d taken into their confidence until it was far too late. Some wept, others spat silent curses, but most were simply resigned. And one and all, they longed for death. 

A few days after her performance with Diane, Furina was getting ready for yet another showing of Les Misérables. She laughed and joked with the stagehands and cast, and helped many of them put on costumes or makeup. Thanks to their stupendously successful (and still sold-out almost nightly run), all of the cast and crew were in high spirits. She was just changing into her own costume when a beaming Émile burst onto the backstage.

“Furina, Furina you will never believe this! You have a patron!” He babbled, grabbing her by the shoulders and beaming at her.

“Émile, what do you mean?” Furina gasped, rather startled, but not too concerned. Émile was a gentle soul at heart, and he was unlikely to hurt her. 

“I’m sorry for not telling you, but two days ago, I received a letter. It was from someone claiming to want to sponsor a show, starring you, written by me! I, of course, thought it was just a scam, but there was a number to call. I did on a whim, and to my surprise, someone answered! I just had a meeting with a proxy, and they even handed me a check for 20,000 francs, with the promise of much more! All for just agreeing to write a script! They said if you sign on, they’ll sponsor a full run, and, and at the Palais Garnier at the Grand Rex itself! That’s 2700 seats!” 

“I, well, that is, that sounds wonderful, Émile, but what about everyone else?” Furina said, feeling rather shaken. 

“There will be parts for everyone! I just have to write a script!” Émile said giddy, his glasses gleaming as he pushed them up his nose. “The 20,000 is just a retainer to write one!”

“W-what about Marcel, and Théâtre de l’Ondine?” Furina stammered, but her mind was racing. Bigger audiences meant more faith, and more faith meant more Indemnitium. Which meant a better shot of killing the False Sustainer. 

“Don’t worry about me,” Marcel said, coming up beside Émile and gently prying the younger man’s hands off of Furina. “Just agree to do a short run here after you’re wildly successful. I couldn’t ask for more, eh?” 

Furina looked around, and found everyone was grinning at her. Julie even nodded eagerly, and Barbara gave an enthusiastic thumbs up. 

“I, well, yes! That sounds wonderful!” Furina agreed, then bit her lip. “Although…I was wondering…could I help with the script? I have some ideas for a play…”

“Of course! What do you have in mind?” Émile agreed eagerly. 

“Well…it’s a play from…from the land of Teyvat. You know, where the Archons are from?” Furina prodded gently, wincing slightly at her brazenness. 

But Émile just nodded eagerly. “Naturally, it’s all the rage to set works there these days. Would it feature one of the Archons? Perhaps a charming fable of Sumeru featuring Nahida, a historical epic of the Raiden Shogun’s conquests in Inazuma, or even a dark comedy of Snezhnaya and its Tsaritsa?” 

“No, no, nothing like that! No, um, well, it’s just an idea, but it would be called La Petite Océnide. It’s a story of a young Océnide, who falls in love…”

As Furina outlined her ideas for the play, it began to differ slightly from the original. For one thing, instead of the original heterosexual romance, the love story became more sapphic in nature. And, well, it began to be less about the original La Petite Océnide, which already had born a shocking resemblance to Furina’s life’s story, and more and more was the long story of Furina herself. Dramatized, of course, and with a romance at the heart of it between her and a woman who was very clearly an only slightly fictionalized version of Yennifer.

Émile ate it up, however, and he demanded that Furina help him with a script first thing the next day. Giddily, Furina agreed. It felt slightly vain to write a play about her life’s story, then cast herself in the starring role, and yet…also rather appropriate. 

It will be your most magnificent performance yet! Let the world know your song, my daughter, and it will weep and rejoice with you!

Maybe…I just hope that this will be a way for my story to finally be really known. I wish I could have shown this to Neuvillette, Charlotte, Clorinde, even the Travelers and Paimon…

Well, who knows? Perhaps, in some small way, they already know your story, and love you all the more for it. 

Furina could only shrug, and move forward. Though she did wonder about this mysterious patron. She would have to look into this, but only later. For now, there was too much to do. 

Author’s Note:

I tried to make ChatGPT write all the dialogue for the Blasphemies, but it wasn’t down with murder. So it only wrote most of it. 

May I Enjoy My Life Entry 36

The first time I met Lappland Saluzzo was at her family’s vineyards on the Brunello agricultural plate. She tricked me into eating one of the grapes. I did not know that grapes for wine are not the same as grapes for eating. It was very sour. She laughed at me. Then we played. We were children. 

I met her at the same vineyard 10 years later. She’d just tried to assassinate the Moretti Don. She was hiding at a safehouse from her father. I was sent to punish her. I didn’t. I couldn’t. We had sex in the safe house. She gave me another sour grape and told me that it was all we deserved. That we deserved one another. Sour grapes. 

Then she asked me to help her destroy Siracusa. I didn’t. I left instead. Returned to Columbia. 

Just in time for my family to tear itself apart and to kill my own father. Lappland met me there. She was supposed to kill me, to regain Signora Sicillia’s favor after killing a Silencer. She didn’t. Instead, she gave me another bunch of sour grapes. 

That was the last time we were together. Lappland left to return to Siracusa, and destroy it. I wandered for a year, and ended up in Wrankwood, when Boss found me. I was starving. Wounded. Delirious from fever and hunger. He took me in. Nursed me back to health. Called me “his girl,” but never tried anything. I was glad.

We founded Penguin Logistics. He was the brains. I was the brawn. We hired Croissant first. She was from New Richmond, though she’d been born in Minos. Her job was security escorts. 

Next was Sora. She was originally a mission. Then my friend. Later, the love of my life. It’s hard for me to express how much she changed me. Before Sora, I existed, but I didn’t live. Now I have something to live for. 

It’s why I’m going to kill Lappland. Lappland is the sour grapes. Existing only as a sword to kill. But Sora? Sora is the sweet wine, that makes my life worth living. 

I wish Exusiai were here. She was the last friend I met, and the best one. She understands me. Maybe it’s because she’s a Sankta. I think it’s because she’s a kind person. I’m worried about her. Finding out the Law isn’t a god was hard on her. But she’s kind enough that she’ll keep on living. 

What I really wish was that she were here to talk to me. To tell me I don’t have to kill Lappland. James and Lucia do not think I need to kill Lappland. Ingrid does. I want to believe James and Lucia. They are good people. The problem is, Lappland is not a good person. She is like me, and Ingrid. Ingrid understands this. She understands blood. She understands honor. She understands Siracusa. 

The last time I saw Lappland a year ago, she asked me to help her destroy Siracusa again. 

“This game will never work, you know,” she told me, as we stood above Volsinii, soon to become Nueva Volsinii. “Oh they’ll pretend, for a little while. But it will all end in blood. It’s all a mask! You can make the famiglia wear whatever clothes you want, but in the end, a wolf is a wolf, no?”

“Maybe they can,” I told her. “Leontuzzo thinks they can.”

“That testa di cazzo is as much fake as the rest of them,” Lappland laughed. “You’ll see. It will be back to the old shadow games and hits in no time. And if he really does change? Well, then my beloved father and the rest of the old dons will give him a quick exit. You can’t escape this life, Texas. You know that. You tried, and here you are, no?”

“I’m leaving,” I told her. “With Penguin Logistics. Back to Lungmen. Nueva Volsinii has a chance. But it’s not my home.”

“And what is your home then?” Lappland demanded. 

I didn’t have an answer for her then. Sora and I wouldn’t watch Kurenai no Kinu, Shiro no Yaiba for another month. When I did, I realized I had my answer: With Sora. 

Lappland wanted to sleep together that night. I knew why. She wanted me to stay with her. To help her in her quest. I refused. I was horny for her, yes. But I didn’t want my home to be nothing but blood. I made my choice then, even if I didn’t realize it.

 Lappland did. She understood. I have to save Sora. Even if it means killing Lappland. I don’t know what Sora will think of me after that. But even if I never get to drink her sweet wine again, I can never be content with Lappland’s sour grapes. 

That was what was going through my head as we approached Nueva Volsinii. I had polished my swords more times than was needed. I had chewed off all my fingernails. I had even eaten three sticks of gum. I hate gum. But I needed something, and I would not smoke with Lisa there. Ingrid would try to kill me. And I needed to be focused on Lappland. 

More importantly, on Sora. 

Our craft came in for a landing on the administrative plate of Nueva Volsinii. At the hospital. That made sense: We were logged as a medical flight. Still, I was nervous, antsy. We had only begun our descent when I turned to Red and Rosmontis. “Keep Bones safe.”

“Yes, that is the mission,” Rosmontis agreed, but Red was frowning at me. 

“You go fight Lappland? Red should come.”

“No. This is my fight. Lappland is my past. You maintain mission priority,” I told Red. I knew I was incapable of maintaining mission priority at that point. I was supposed to protect James. Supposed to keep the Cure, the Savior, safe. 

But I couldn’t. Sora was more important. 

“Cellinia, we should try talking first,” Lucia told me, reaching up to take my arm. “This could just all be a mistake. Lappland’s never shown hostility to Sora before.”

“We will talk,” I said, but I held up my sword.

“Let her go, Lucia,” Ingrid said, stepping up beside me. “The Texas knows what must be done now. There is only one sort of conversation that two such women can have. The kind with steel.”

I gave her a grateful look, then turned to the ramp, which had begun to hiss open. 

“Hey.” 

I turned to look up at James. His face was marred with scars now, one eye obscured by a black patch, his other eye tight with suppressed pain. Pain I understood. He extended a hand, and I took it, only for him to pull me into a hug. That surprised me, as did his tears.

“You take care of yourself, OK, Texas? Don’t make me come put you back together again. And, well…maybe try talking before you kill your oldest friend?”

“I will,” I said. By which I meant that I would kill my oldest friend if I had to. I had never understood how Lappland’s mind worked. She’d always been able to outsmart me. Sometimes, outfight me. She was one of the few who could. Despite myself, I hugged James back. He is not like me. He doesn’t take life. He gives it. Even when it costs his own. That’s why he’s worth protecting. 

Sora is the same. The world needs more of those who sow as they do. Less who reap like me. And Lappland. 

I separated from James, and leapt away, across the rooftops, running at full speed. I wasn’t concerned about the direction. She would find me. She always did. Though I did head in the general direction of the Saluzzo holdings. Lappland hated her family, but she also couldn’t escape them. 

I ran for half an hour, but Lappland didn’t show herself. My phone vibrated, and I checked my messages. Unknown caller. A picture of a grape. A faint smile traced my lips, and I turned my phone off, then headed for the agricultural plate. 

It wasn’t the Brunella agricultural plate, but the Saluzzos had a small vineyard and manor house on one of Volsinii’s plates. It was late afternoon, but the fields were empty. One light was on in the manor house. I stopped to pluck some grapes that were close to fully ripe. I popped one into my mouth as I walked up the path. Sour grapes. The same as always. 

I walked in to find Lappland’s shoes by the door, along with her coat. I carefully took my own off and set them neatly in their place. I didn’t leave Blueberry and Dark Chocolate. Lappland hadn’t left her swords. And I smelled wolves. 

I entered the dining room, where music was playing. The table was set, the candles lit. Lappland sat at a grand piano, playing beautifully. She was always talented. All around the table, sat wolves. The Signori dei Lupi. Dark shadows enveloped them despite the bright sun coming in the windows and the glowing flames on the table before them. All their eyes watched me as I stepped forward. Two places were unclaimed: the head of the table and the foot. 

“Ah, Cellinia, at last! I was worried you didn’t get my invitation!” Lappland cried, finishing her playing with a flourish. She stood from the piano and bowed, and the wolves howled as Lappland bared her fangs in a grin. I stood beside my place at the foot of the table, silent. I did not understand this game. Lappland hated Siracusa. The Signori dei Lupi were Siracusa. Why were they here?

I recognized the largest of them, a wolf with red eyes to Lappland’s right as she took her own place at the table. Zaaro. He was the one who had caused the incident the year prior. His fang had been the Bellone don, Bernado. Leontuzzo’s father. But Bernado had killed himself. So, Zaaro should have been out, from what Boss had told me. I did not understand. Only that when Lappland raised a hand, all the wolves instantly fell silent. 

“My friends, we are gathered here today in honor of my oldest and dearest friend, Cellinia Texas!” Lappland said, raising a glass of wine. She grinned at me, and nodded to the glass of wine by the plate at the foot of the table.

In response, I held up the bunch of grapes. Lappland’s eyes widened for an instant, then she laughed. “Well, well, it seems you brought your own libations, Cellinia! How appropriate for our little party!” 

“Where is Sora?” I demanded, crushing one of the grapes between thumb and forefinger, the juice trickling down my wrist, dripping like fresh blood onto the white tablecloth and staining it dark purple. 

“Sora?” Lappland feigned surprise, then took a sip of her wine. She tossed the glass to the side, where it shattered on the rich carpet with barely a sound. “You didn’t tell me you had taken another lover! I would have sent you a gift in congratulations!” 

I didn’t respond. Lappland knew perfectly well that Sora was not allowed to have a lover. Her contract required it. 

“Well, she’s around, let’s say,” Lappland said with a dark chuckle. She extended a black gloved hand to me. “I will not ask you to forsake her, Cellinia, but I do ask one final time: Help me destroy Siracusa! It’s finally time! The old bitch herself is here, you know. I have assembled the wolfpack. The game, it is mine to win. But, well, I think it would be more fun to upend the board! Send it all crashing down!”

“Leontuzza and Lavinia are succeeding,” I said, my gaze locked to Lappland, though I kept my awareness on the Signori dei Lupi. They were dangerous. And there were twenty here, all told. I didn’t know how many there were in total, but this seemed like a large number. “You were wrong. Siracusa can be saved.”

“SIRACUSA DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE SAVED!” Lappland snarled, driving her fist into the table and sending up splinters of wood. The wolves bayed and howled in approval, but she straightened and snapped her fingers. They instantly quieted again, some cowering slightly. 

“You see? There is only one way to control them,” Lappland said, smoothing back her wild mane of hair and grinning at me. “Only one language they understand. That Siracusa understands. This city, it is on the brink of exploding. Of becoming a carnival of violence even greater than it ever was before! The truckers, the famiglia, the police, the courts, all of them, at one another's throats! Barely restrained violence. Masks, hiding fangs! I will rip off those masks, Cellinia! I will expose them for the beasts that they are! And then, I will let them devour one another. And put the torch to Siracusa to burn it all down once and for all!” 

She was panting at the end of her rant, clawing the air like an actor delivering a monologue as she paced back and forth at the head of the table. 

I shrugged. “I don’t care. Where is Sora?”

“You think you can escape this!? You think that just because you left for a few years, this is no longer your problem!?” Lappland snarled, fingers curled into claws, palms up, as she glared at me. 

“Yes. I have another mission now.”

“And what is that?! You think because they put you in charge of protecting this so-called ‘savior’ that your hands are now clean, that you can escape your past?!” Lappland demanded, stalking around the tables towards me. 

“No. I was chosen because I am a killer. Because they need someone with stained hands, so that Rhodes Island’s can be clean,” I said, head swiveling to track Lappland, as were the heads of all the wolves at the table. 

“Then do what your blood demands! Make an end to Siracusa!” Lappland demanded, coming up short just a few paces from me. I turned to face her as she continued her rant. “Your new friend, he is a doctor, yes? Well, Siracusa is sick! The infection must be cut out before the healing can begin! We must be cut out, Texas! Us, and all the Famiglia! We must expose the faces of Siracusa for the world to see, to cast aside the masks forever, and make an end of this!” 

“Fine. Do it. But not me. Not Sora. This is your fight. Not mine,” I said, and stepped towards the door. 

Lappland cackled, calling out to me as I tried to leave. “Then I will make this your fight, Texas. This is how it was always meant to be! You and I, together, or apart, were always destined for this!” 

“We weren’t. You chose this. Not me,” I said, meaning to leave and go find Sora. She wasn’t here.

“At least give me the satisfaction of one last good fuck,” Lappland chuckled. “Before you give me up for your soft little Sarkaz-”

Rage. Rage like nothing I had ever felt before. Not when I found out Bones had cured me. Not when I found out Sora was kidnapped. Not when I killed my father. This was mine. Mine and Sora’s, and no one else's. 

“Ah, there she is,” Lappland purred, her blades blocking mine as I strained with all my might to tear out her throat with my bare fangs. She leaned towards me, as if to kiss me, her own lips curled back. “The Last Texas. Celenia the Patricide. My rabid little wolf.”

I didn’t have words. Only rage. I unleashed my arts, and wished I had taken Amp-X. I had some with me, but I hadn’t taken it. Now, I didn’t have time or thought to do so. I didn’t care about anything but keeping Sora safe. Keeping her secret safe. Lappland had no right. 

The wolves lifted up out of their chairs like smoke, hovering in the air as a choir of spirits as Lappland and I tore apart her family estate. The dining room was the first to be demolished in a storm of swords and arts. My blades tore apart priceless plates and the rich food I knew that Lappland had prepared herself. She’s an even better chef than me, when she wants to be. Tagliatelle al Ragù. Risotto alla Milanese. Caprese Salad. Millefoglie. All smashed and pulverized as we battered one another about. 

I’m not sure who drew blood first, me or Lappland. We were both out for it now. A snarl on my face, a rictus grin on Lappland’s as she laughed. Soon, we were both coated in one another’s blood, our heartbeats mingling as we painted the ruins of the mansion scarlet. It should have weakened us both, but we just increased the tempo. It was serious enough that Lappland had stopped talking, though I had stopped listening a long time ago. I couldn’t hear words, couldn’t speak words, couldn’t understand words. Just rage. 

Sora was in danger. Sora was in danger because of Lappland. Her deepest, darkest secret was known now. I would kill Lappland now, no matter what. Because Sora’s secret, the soft nubs on the sides of her head that only I knew about, could never be known. 

The manor house crumbled and fell, and Lappland and I had to part in our dance long enough for both of us to dodge the raining rubble. We ended up atop the collapsed roof, the building smoldering around us. When had it caught fire? It must have, because patches of my hair were burned, and Lappland’s shirt was smoldering. 

“Now this, this is a good fuck,” Lappland chuckled, leaning on her sword. I was too. We were both exhausted. How long had we been fighting? I couldn’t keep track. Ten minutes? An hour? A day? I didn’t know. Not so long as for my rage to quell. It burned as hot as ever, though my body was weakening, and my mind going blank from using far, far too many arts. 

“Not…not a fuck. Would…would never…cheat…on…Sora,” I panted. Perhaps my rage was ebbing. I could talk again, a little. 

“Ah, too bad. And here, I’ve been trying to cut off your bra,” Lappland chuckled.

There were cuts on my chest and back, so she might have been. Or she was just trying to anger me again. 

Suddenly, I just felt tired. Not angry. I remembered finding solstice in a manor room much like this. Not with Sora, but with Lappland. She’d always been passionate. Sometimes, I needed that. I leaned on my swords, and shook my head. “Let’s just…walk away. I don’t want to kill you, Lappland. Swear to never speak Sora’s secret. Swear to never reveal-”

“Oh, I promise. Wouldn’t dream of it! I was just guessing, you know,” Lappland laughed. “Knew she had to be hiding something! Why hide your race like that in Lungmen? Oh, a perro might pretend to be a lupo in Siracusa, but elsewhere, they don’t care! So what if she was a cautus, or a vulpo, or even a zalak? No one would mind! But a Sarkaz? Ah, I wouldn’t call your beloved a slur, but you know what people say, eh, Texas? So, yes. Sora’s secret is safe with me.”

I blinked stupidly at her, weak from all the blood loss. “Then, you-”

Sighing, Lappland let go of her swords, and slumped down on a bit of rubble, giving me a sad smile. “Oh, I knew you wouldn’t agree to all this. You have your pretty little doll of a lover. Oh, don’t sulk, Cellinia, she is a perfect little doll, even if she is fun in the sack, I hope? Hehe, yes, growl all you want, but I see your tail wag! You walked away from all this. But me? Well…they would never let me.”

Lappland jerked her head up at the pack of wolves, which hovered around us, eyes glowing as they watched. Zaaro was the closest, having landed and taken on a more solid form. I eyed him, but he didn’t seem interested in me, walking over and sitting beside Lappland on his haunches.

“Down, boy. Don’t make me beat you again,” Lappland growled. And to my surprise, the wolf god did so. Meekly lowering his head to rest at Lappland’s feet. 

I staggered over, leaving Blueberry and Dark Chocolate blade down in the ruin, and slumped onto the slab beside Lappland. She sighed, and put her back to mine, leaning against me. “Then, you…”

“Consider this your bachelorette party, eh? One last bash with your old lover before you leave this life of blood for a life of peace,” Lappland whispered, and I could hear the weariness in her voice. 

“I would have wanted Exusiai and Croissant here,” I said, looking up at the sky. It had turned as red as the blood soaking into my clothing, the sun beginning to set. We had battled for a long time then. Longer than I had thought, perhaps. 

“Oh, they are. On their way, actually. I fancy that’s them now, in the car racing up the lane,” Lappland sighed. 

I turned my head, and saw a brightly colored van racing up the driveway. I closed my eyes, and smiled to myself, leaning against Lappland for support. 

“Don’t lie. You enjoyed this, didn’t you?” Lappland asked.

“Mmm,” I said. I had. I hated it, but I had. Sometimes, what you want are sour grapes. 

I heard tires screech and doors slam, but I was too tired to look up. 

“TEXAS!” Croissant’s voice shouted, and boots pounded on the pavement. 

“Mmm,” I said, too tired to even open my eyes.

“CELLINIA!” 

My eyes snapped open, and I tried to sit up. Sora. Sora was here, tears streaking her face as she ran up, Boss waddling behind her. Lucia and Lisa were there as well, along with Ingrid of course. 

“The damn fools have nearly killed one another,” Sussurro snarled, taking out scissors and cutting first my clothes off, then Lappland’s. We were in bad shape.

“How I always wanted to go,” Lappland giggled. “Killed by my jilted ex-lover. Or her jealous father.”

“Not…what happened,” I mumbled, even as I felt Sora’s tears drip onto my face.

“They’re far gone. I don’t know how much I can do; James is still unconscious,” Lucia’s voice said.

“Mamma-san, Sussurro-sensei, let me,” Lisa’s voice said, as I began to drift away. It was alright. Sora was safe. I could rest now. 

Ingrid, hot and passionate as ever. “It is too dangerous, she-”

“It cures her oripathy! You try, Lisa. I’ll watch. Use whatever arts I can to help,” Lucia’s voice promised. 

“Hai! I must use Bones-sensei’s arts. Here, take my hand, Sussurro-sensei. I will show you how.”

“Lisa, I can’t. I’ve tried. I-”

I felt a jolt of energy and opened my eyes. My wounds had partly closed. Not normal healing arts: some of them just vanished. Like when James used his arts. Lisa’s ears wilted, and she slumped over, Ingrid catching her. 

Lucia was staring at Lisa, eyes wide open, still holding the little girl’s hand.

“For this, I will kill you both,” Ingrid growled as she hugged her daughter, eyes glaring at me. 

“Then I will never tell you who really attacked your daughter. Isn’t that funny?” Lappland chuckled.

“What?!” Ingrid rounded on Lucia. “Heal her, now! I must know who was it that hurt my Lisa!” 

“I…I think I can,” Lucia said slowly. She placed hands on Lappland. There was so much blood. Had I done all that?

There was a flash of white light. Odd. Usually, Sussurro’s arts are green. Lappland’s wounds vanished, and she sat up with a start. 

“Well! That is more-” Lappland began.

Then Ingrid broke Lappland’s jaw, and knocked her out cold. The wolves growled, and the Lady of Scars drew her sword and rounded on them. “Take one more step and I will kill you all myself! This fox eats the flesh of wolves tonight!” 

The Signori dei Lupi backed off. Though that might have been because Boss was standing behind Ingrid. 

“Well. Fuck me,” Boss said, and took his glasses off to peer at Lucia, who Croissant had had to catch when she had passed out after healing Lappland. “Looks like things changed again. Y’all catch that, or do I need to break it down for you again?”

“We saw, bird,” Zaaro said, standing to come over beside Boss and look down at the unconscious Lucia and Lisa. “When did this start?”

“Don’t rightly know that. Old witch ain’t been too talkative,” Boss said with a shake of his head. He put his glasses back on, even though it was nearly dark. “But you seen the signs. Shit’s already gotten more real than you can imagine.”

I ignored him, and turned to Sora, who had tears in her eyes still. “Sora, I-”

“Shut up,” Sora said, and kissed me, and held me. If she had been Siracusan, she would have slapped me first.

I’m glad she didn’t. She is my Sora. And she is perfect. Especially the old, worn nubs on the sides of her head, where her horns had once been. I squeezed her, and closed my eyes. 

No more sour grapes. Just sweet wine. 

The Second Archon War: Carmen Dei 29

Carmen Dei 29: The Rabbit and the Owl 

“Hey, it’s me again! Your friend, Amber! It’s been 187 days since I last saw you, best buddy! So, I’m making another daily vlog, just for you! Come on, I’ll show you!” 

Amber flipped her camcorder around from taking a video of herself to a video of her workshop slash bedroom. It wasn’t a jail cell, she told herself. She could go outside whenever she wanted! She had a nice garden, a kitchen, and all kinds of stuff! She just…couldn’t leave. The ankle monitor rubbing against her skin reminded her of that as she walked. 

“Here’s Favonian Wing MKII! I’ve made a ton of upgrades, but, well, I told you all about most of those, I guess I’m just tinkering. How do you like the new paint job? Bright red! My favorite! Oooh, next up, is the newest Baron Bunny! Check it out!” 

Amber hastily set the camcorder down, then posed next to the doll that came up to her waist, and pressed a button. Music began to play, and Amber waggled her hips and moved her arms to the beat, spinning back and forth in sync with her Baron Bunny. After a minute, she laughed breathlessly and picked up the camera. “And that’s my dance! Totally cool, right? Ha! No way, I look like a total dork!” 

“Pfff, got that right. Super lame.”

Amber screamed and picked up Baron Bunny, spinning around, closing her eyes as she held her doll between her and the intruder. It wouldn’t explode; they didn’t allow her weapons, but she couldn’t think of what else to do!

“Oh, relax. If I wanted you dead, you’d be dead. Besides, you were recording yourself. If you were going to be embarrassed, you picked a real fuckin’ weird way to do it,” the acerbic voice said. Wait, that voice was familiar…

Slowly, Amber lowered the doll, hugging it to her chest and peering at the stranger standing in the corner of her room, blowing bubble gum of all things. 

“Z-Ziz?” Amber asked breathlessly. “You…you’re a member of the Tone Deaf Bards, right? Um, hi! I’m Amber Kohlhaas! Sir Amber, actually! Uh, are you here to deliver my food? I, uh, I wasn’t trying to escape again, promise…”

“Really? Well that’s a fuckin’ shame, because I was here to get you out,” Ziz said, standing up from where she’d been standing slouched in the corner with her arms over her chest. She was wearing trendy jeans with holes in the knees and ragged patches on the thighs, and, of all things, a Mr. Owl T-shirt with the caption ‘How Many Licks?’ on it. 

“You’re going to free me?” Amber asked breathlessly, then nervously glanced at one of the many, many cameras they kept on her. She’d tried disabling them at first, but Hospitaliar and a team of other Tinkers were watching her house arrest, and she’d eventually just given up. 

Ziz glanced at the camera, then smirked. “I disabled that shit when I came. Don’t worry, it’s playing a loop of you doing your dumb vlogger routine. You know they haven’t sent a single one of those lame-o vids to your ‘Best Buddy,’ right? No fucking way they let you have contact with Kollei.”

Amber’s shoulders slumped, and a tear trickled down her check as she nodded. “Y-yeah. I know. I just…I hoped…She’s all alone, you know? She’s scared, and trapped, and she’s not a bad person! I just, if I could reach out to her…maybe we could find peace! Maybe there wouldn’t have to be a war! Please, you have to give her my videos, I, I have to try!” 

Ziz regarded Amber, then shrugged. “Nah.”

“No?! But, then, why, why are you even here!” Amber burst out, tears flooding out of her eyes now as she dropped the Baron Bunny and stormed over to Ziz, who was about her height. 

The white haired girl examined Amber’s face, then her expression softened. “Sorry it took me so long, Amber. I was…busy. But, Boss Man and I agree: You should be free. Even if you make a mistake, and I sure as shit think you will, that’s your mistake to make. You’re not mind-controlled, and if you were, I could break that by humming a few bars. So, I’m letting you out.”

“You, you are?” Amber gasped, then wrapped Ziz in a hug, her tears turning to laughter. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” 

“Sheesh, you’re overreacting,” Ziz mumbled, then gave Amber a firm hug. “Like I said, I’m sorry. There was a war and shit. But Venti reminded me you were here, so…here I am.”

“Wait, Lord Barbados sent you?!” Amber gasped, jerking back in shock. “But, he’s asleep!”

“That old bastard isn’t so asleep as to not offload work on me,” Ziz grumbled, her blasphemy drawing a sharp gasp of shock from the pious Amber. “Look, he heard your prayers, and I’m here to answer him as his…fuck, what would you even call it? Ombudsman? Whatever. Look, I’m his bandmate, so I do stuff for him. Come on, grab your shit and let’s boogie.”

Amber hastily grabbed up a few supplies: clothing, toiletries, and copies of every single vlog she’d made for Kollei. Then she folded her glider into its backpack and slung that on, and turned to Ziz. “Ready!” 

“Good, c’mer.” Ziz stooped and touched Amber’s ankle, and the enchanted monitor fell away. “Right. Out to the back.”

Amber hastened out to the garden, where her carrots and lettuce were doing excellently. A sudden wind kicked up, and Ziz nodded to the sky. “There you go. The wild blue yonder. Come on, I think you’re going the same place I am, so I might as well give you a ride.”

“I, but…” Amber swallowed, then forced a nervous grin. “Um, I’m going to Russia, to see Kollei. They…they’ll capture me. You…you don’t want that, do you?”

“Kollei isn’t in Russia. Guess you haven’t been paying attention to the news. She’s in Kazakhstan, or will be, shortly. I’m heading that direction myself. Some asshole thinks they can cut in line for my rematch? Fat fucking chance of that! Oh, and I owe that son of a bitch the Prince a bruisin’ too! Thinks he can take me!? Let’s see how tough that motherfucker is when I bring my REAL body!” 

Amber had no idea what that meant for the most part, but Kazakhstan?!

“I’m too late! She’s already attacking somewhere else!” Amber wailed. “Finland fell!? No one told me!” 

Ziz blushed. “Let’s not talk about that shit. Round two is MINE, bitches. Now are you going to complain about the rescue you don’t like, or are we gonna fly!?” 

Amber hastily pulled her goggles on, then activated her glider, spreading her wings. Ziz nodded her approval, and a gust of wind blew them both into the sky as Ziz turned into a rather small owl, with a wingspan of only about 50cm. They lifted off into the sky, heading to the East.

“We’re taking the long way!” the owl called in Ziz’s voice as they flew. “Don’t wanna fly over Russia and blow our cover. So, we’re going south, through Austria, Hungary, and Romania, then over the Black Sea, over Turkey and Iran, into Turkmenistan, then up past where the Aral Sea used to be, to our destination. Don’t know why the fuck we’re going there, but I got a tip off in my group chat that that’ll be where Kollei ends up.”

“Ok!” Amber agreed. “That’s thousands of kilometers, though! How fast can you fly?”

“Bitch, I’m the mother fucking Sim-uh, I mean, I’m pretty fucking fast, OK? How fast can you go?!” 

“As fast as the wind! This is just a glider, sorry! No power,” Amber said apologetically. 

“Meh, you’re with the Wind itself, it’s fine. We got about a week and we’re going the stealth route, so we only need to cover about 800 or so kilometers a day. I figure I set the wind to about 100 kph, and it’ll be fine. Just a strong gust for most people that blows through.”

Amber nodded and peered forward into the wind, determination filling her heart!

Then, well, she had to fly for a few hours. And Amber wasn’t very good at just flying quietly. 

“So, um, where are you from? I’m from Frankfurt! Which, um, we just left, so, you know where I lived! That wasn’t too far from my mom; she visits almost every day! Oh! She’s gonna be so worried, I forgot to leave her a note!” 

“You’re worried about telling your fucking mom where you’re going? What, are you five?” Ziz demanded.

“Hey, you should always tell your friends and family when you travel! It’s polite! If you just vanish, they’ll be super worried! Didn’t you tell anyone?”

The owl glared at Amber, then transformed back into Ziz, who coasted along on the breeze, an extra set of wings sprouting from her back like an angel's! 

“Wow, so pretty!” Amber gasped. 

Ziz blushed, looking rather embarrassed. “It’s nothing fancy, OK? Look, shut up, I gotta…fuck. I’m calling someone, OK?”

Pulling out a phone, Ziz put it to her ear. After a moment, she sighed. “Hey, Naomi, I- huh? Yeah, no I did just disappear! I’m not a little kid! Capri’s doing what? Well, then, when I’m done talking with you, tell her I didn’t just charge the Fatui on my own and to get her ass back to the front lines! No, fuck, fine, I’ll call her! Look, I, uh…I’m going to see…my mom. Fuck you, my other mom! And you’re not my mom anyway! Ugh, yes, it’s…yeah, it’s Nahida. Yes, Venti knows! He’s not my dad! I- why the fuck do you care if I brought extra undies?! And for your information, yes, I did! I’m not fucking stupid! No, you wash your mouth out with soap! I, yeah. I’ll take care of myself. I…I love you too. Yeah. Stay safe. Bye.”

Ziz was still blushing furiously when she hastily dialed another number and put it to her ear. “MOM, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!? Look, I’m doing something! Yeah, I disappeared in the middle of the night! That doesn’t fucking mean I tried to retake Finland on my own, Capri, so get your ass back to the front lines! Yes, I called Naomi! Well, maybe I just wanted In-N-Out Burger or some shit! What, no! Look, I…I’m going to see…my other mom. I mean Nahida! Fuck you, you’re not my mom either, I told Naomi that! I, yes, I have a toothbrush! And my weapons! Ok, ugh, fine. Yes, I’ll keep Nahida safe. Look, you and Naomi- no, you’re supposed to stay and keep the Dancer in check! What if she comes across the border! I’m not a little kid, I can take care of myself! I…fuck you too! Yeah, love you. Yes, I’ll bring mom, I mean, Naomi a gift! Fuck you! Yes. Love you. Bye.”

Slowly, Ziz lowered the phone and glared at Amber. “Pretend you didn’t hear that bullshit. Also, uh, we’re landing at the nearest Aldi. I…I need some…stuff.”

Fortunately, they didn’t have to fly very far before they found an Aldi, and they landed in the parking lot. Ziz gave Amber her phone so she could call her own mother, and then went inside. Amber had a tearful and joyous conversation, then had to tell her mother she was going to find Kollei.

“Yes, I know it’s dangerous, Mom! I know I could die! But, I gave my word! And she’s a lost little girl, just like I was! How could I set aside that duty, how could I let her-”

No matter how the world attempts to clip your wings, your heart is unchained and Free. 

Amber’s heart did a flip-flop. “M-mom, I…I think Lord…”

Though all others would keep this burden from you, you freely pick it up, for your Vision is of Honor and Obligation. 

“Mom, mom! It’s Lord Barbados! He-”

Let your Vision Guide you, Child of the Winds. Fly free, Amber. 

And never let anyone prevent you from doing what you believe is right. 

But instead of a Vision appearing in her hands, a swearing Ziz stormed up, juggling plastic bags as something formed in her palm. “You asshole! It’s YOUR job to- FINE! Ugh, HERE! You’re like, recognized by Heaven for your Ambition and shit.”

A green Vision appeared in Ziz’s right hand, which she shoved into Amber’s grasp. “There! Now come on, I got the underwear and toothbrush.”

Amber could only gape at Ziz as she pulled out a new pack of panties, rather cute ones with little pink bows, and shoved them along with a toothbrush, toothpaste, a warm jacket, and a lot of junk food into a newly purchased backpack. 

“There! Now I wasn’t lying,” Ziz said triumphantly, planting her hands on her hips. 

“Mom, I gotta go. God just gave me a Vision, and I am going to save Kollei,” Amber said firmly, and hung up on her still weeping mother. Then she hastily knelt. “Um, are you…are you an angel?”

“No, I’m a fucking dragon.  Get up! I do NOT want anyone bowing to me! You know the shit I’ve done? I’m the LAST person you should ever worship,” Ziz snarled, and hauled Amber up before adjusting her backpack. The wind returned, and Ziz spread her wings, reforming them from her back. “Ugh, come on. I…I’ll tell you what’s up on the way. But you CANNOT tell anyone.”

Amber hastily tucked her Vision into her own jacket, feeling its warmth against her chest, then summoned her own breeze, and took off after Ziz, laughing in delight as for the first time, she was truly able to fly. 

Ziz seemed to catch the mood, whooping and doing loop de loops with Amber as they soared over Germany, the wind guiding them ever South and East. After about thirty minutes, they both leveled out, grinning like idiots. At last, Amber said, “So, um, you can give out Visions? You’re a dragon, like, uh, Mushu and Keiga?”

“Uh, yeah. I’m just gonna message them and ask them if they ever have to give out Visions,” Ziz said, pulling out her phone and tapping away with her thumbs. “No one fucking told me that was part of the job when I took it! But I bet Venti’s just being a freeloading asshole again.”

Amber winced at the profanity. “Um, isn’t it a sin to, you know, take the Lord’s name in vain? Or at least, the names of His Archons?”

“I’m not a fucking Christian,” Ziz said with a snort, glancing at the screen. “Ugh, they’re probably asleep or some shit. I’ll check the group chat later.” She shoved the phone into her bra, which was pretty funny to see on an angel. 

“But, you’re a divine…dragon? Not an angel?” Amber prompted. 

Ziz flew along quietly, and Amber thought she wouldn’t say anything at first. Then, Ziz said in a small, frightened voice. “You…you have to promise not to tell anyone, OK? I…I’ll trust your honor as a Knight.”

“I swear by the Blood of Christ and the Blessings of the Anemo Archon, I shall not reveal any secret you share with me, this day or any other,” Amber said solemnly. 

Ziz’s eyes flashed green, and Amber felt a familiar weight settle on your soul. “Hope you meant that, because you can’t take back oaths you make to me. Alright, look, I…I’m…” Ziz’s face contorted, and a few tears trickled out of her eyes, blown away by the wind. She finally closed her eyes, then blurted, “I’m the Simurgh.”

Amber blinked a few times. That…that didn’t sound possible. But everything about Ziz, from her body language to her tone, to the dire implications of her words, said she was speaking the truth. 

“So…you’re an Endbringer? Did…did Nahida redeem you, or something? Is that why you called her mom?”

Ziz’s eyes snapped open. “Please, please, please, do NOT tell her I said that! I would just…I would die, alright?” 

“Uh, OK. Though you did call Capri and Naomi mom too…”

“It just…it slipped out, OK? They…they look after me, alright? I’m not a kid! But…but I don’t really…I’m bad at being human, OK? Really, they’re more like big sisters!” 

“Sure,” Amber said, though she had to fight back a smile. Then she sobered. “So, if you’re the Simurgh…”

“I…I’ve killed millions,” Ziz admitted, looking away from Amber. “I…I didn’t…fuck. I won’t lie. I wanted to kill them. But I didn’t understand! They were just data! Numbers! But…but then Nahida showed me…you’re all real. You’re all…people. And…and you matter. You just want to be Free. Like me. So…so I switched sides, OK? I…I know I’ll never really be forgiven, but…”

“I think you were. Jesus can forgive anyone, and if He sent Nahida and Venti both to you, they probably forgave you, too, didn’t they?” Amber pointed out. 

“How do you even know Jesus was a real person!?” Ziz snapped. Amber gave her an incredulous look, and Ziz sighed and slumped her shoulders, though her wings kept beating. “Ok, fine, yes, he was real. Probably the Son of God or something, too. Nahida would skewer me with sources or something if I tried to deny that. I just, look. I don’t know about all this stuff! Nahida said she paid for my sins and I was forgiven it’s just…I had…I have…a lot of sin, you know? I…I make fucking Hitler look like a saint in comparison.”

“Don’t say that! Are you really even the Simurgh anymore?” Amber demanded, and Ziz gave her a confused look. “The Simurgh, she was just a monster, right? A servant of the King of Demons! But you? You’re a person! You have moms that love you, and, well, a dad in Venti, and friends, like me! You-”

“Wait, you did hear me say I was the Simurgh, right?” Ziz demanded. 

“Uh, yeah?”

“Well, then, believe me!” 

“I do?”

“Well, then, why, you…why would you even want to be friends with me!” 

“Well, I’m already friends with Kollei, right? If I can be friends with the Princess of Russia, well, then I can be friends with an ex-Endbringer too!” 

Ziz blinked at Amber a few times, then tears filled her eyes. She suddenly darted over, tackling Amber in a mid-air hug. Amber nearly panicked and thought they’d fall, but Ziz seemed capable of keeping them aloft no matter what, so she just hugged her new friend back.

“...thank you. You…you’re a pretty cool person, you know that, Amber?”

“Well, everyone else thinks I’m a crazy traitor, so I’m glad to have at least one friend who doesn’t hate me,” Amber said, her voice catching as she had to fight off the depression and bitterness that were always creeping in. Only, now, it was a little easier. Her Vision gave her strength, and its pulse reminded her that God Himself saw her heart and found it good and worthy. She would continue on, no matter what!

They spent the next week flying together, soaring over sea and land, the wind at their backs. They landed in various wildernesses, camping under the stars and eating potato chips, sausages, candy, and other unhealthy foods that Ziz had purchased. Amber got to know Ziz extremely well, from her love of Punk Rock and Dr. House, to how much she struggled with her past, to her drive to bring freedom to everyone, and just how much she felt personally responsible for Finland suffering under the bondage of the Tsaritsa. 

In turn, Amber poured her own heart out. Her own fears and failures, her desperation to get back to Kollei, and the lingering suspicion that all this was her fault. Unlike most people, Ziz didn’t just tell her it wasn’t her fault. Instead, her friend said, “Well, then let’s go make it right. Fuck the past. Face the future. And kick Fate in the dick.”

After a week of travel, they left the Caspian Sea, Ziz landed with Amber in Turkmenistan, near the border of Kazakhstan. They hugged one another, and Ziz laughed nervously. “Look, I…I gotta go. Do some stuff. Dragon stuff. I’m not really supposed to be here, but, well, I’m Emancipation, so I do what I want. So long as it means Freedom for Mankind.”

“It’s OK, I’ll miss you. You take care of yourself, OK, Ziz?” Amber said, squeezing her newest bestest friend. 

“Yeah, I’ll try. Just, stay safe, OK? Kollei…she’s kinda fucked in the head, you know?” 

“I…yeah. I do. But that just means she needs her Knight to help save her more, right?” Amber said, forcing her bright and cheery grin back on. 

“I guess. I’ll see you around. Just…if it comes to it…I might have to fight Kollei to keep Nahida safe. You…you understand that, right?”

Though it pained her, Amber nodded, dashing away her tears. “I do. It’s alright! I…I won’t fight for the Tsaritsa, no matter what. But I will fight for Kollei. Not to help her invade somewhere, but so she can be the good person I just know she is. That she can remember who she was before the Tsaritsa and her toxic love got its hooks in her. I know what it’s like to love a monster. I loved my own dad, after all.”

“Yeah, well, fuck him, you did the right thing. He can rot in prison forever.”

“And here I thought you freed people.”

“I free people. Not monsters. Take care, Amber.  You…you’re a really good person. I hope you know that.”

“Thanks. I think you’re a good person too, Ziz. And don’t tell me you’re not a person! You are. Just…you’re still figuring it out. We all were teenagers once.”

“Not a fucking teenager,” the teenager muttered, then, with one last hug, Ziz kissed Amber on the forehead, and power rushed into her. “Go now, with the blessing of Emancipation. This will let you speak the local lingo, at least for a few days. After that…well, you’re on your own. Fly free, Amber.”

Amber watched Ziz go for a moment, then lowered her goggles, and set her face towards the Aral Sea. “Alright! I just need to figure out where Kollei is, and we’re set!” 

Using her Vision, Amber was able to leap into the air and glide on the wind currents, though not as quickly as she had before. She flew on, over the desert, drying riverbeds, and the salt flats where the shores of the Aral Sea had once been. She found the waters, but even high in the air she could smell the stench and made a face. “Sheesh. Hopefully, the Hydro Archon pays this place a visit or something one day.”

Still, she flew gamely on, though she was growing increasingly tired. She’d only barely gained her Vision, and while there was plenty of Anemo energy, channeling this much for this long was putting a great strain on her body. 

After hours of flying, Vision growing dim, Amber thought she spotted something that looked inviting in the red light of the setting sun. Her entire body ached and burned, and Ziz wasn’t there to help soothe away her pains like she had for the past few days. Amber pointed her glider towards the green, and tried not to look too hard at the all too familiar dark storm clouds on the horizon. 

Despite her best efforts, Amber’s landing was a rather clumsy one. She managed to avoid crashing into the fields of crops, but she did hit the dirt a bit too fast, and ended up in a tangle of limbs and bent glider parts, unable to even move. She struggled for a bit, but couldn’t manage to free herself, as she was far too exhausted. Face down in the earth, Amber panted and struggled for breath.

Then, she heard the sound of heavy boot tread. She couldn’t really see who it was, only that it was a pair of heavy work boots and the bottoms of jeans that were approaching her crash site.

“Um, hello? Sir? Uh, I, um, I’m kinda stuck? Help, please?” Amber said, her voice muffled from her glider’s wings. 

The boots paused, then their owner slowly knelt, and Amber felt a brief rush of fear. She was fairly helpless, and if this person had ill intent…

Her fears were magnified when she saw a knife drawn from its sheath, and she yelped in fear when flames suddenly licked out. To her immense relief, however, her savior only cut away the glider to free Amber. To her shock, a darkly tanned woman’s face, eyes with red X’s for pupils, looked down at her. They were dressed in men’s clothing, but the obvious bust and softer features contrasted that. 

“Oh! Sorry, um, I thought you were-”

“You were correct in your assessment of my gender,” the…man? Said, sheathing his knife and then helping Amber to struggle out of her prison. She was so weak, she couldn’t even stand and ended up in a bridal carry, blushing slightly as she was lifted into the air. 

“Now, who and what are you? American? Iraqi? Fatui?” The last was said with a vicious spit to the side and a glare, so Amber hastily clarified. 

“Um, Sir Amber Kohlhaas, of the Knights of Favonius! I, um, well, I er…I came to…to try to find a way to have some peace talks. There’s been enough death! The fighting needs to end!”

The man’s expression, previously rather hostile, softened greatly. “Ah. An idealist, then. And you think you can bring peace on your own, little rabbit?” 

“Um, well, not really. But…but I made a promise to a friend…to…to the Princess, Kollei. She…she captured me, once, and, um…I sort of accidentally ran away. So…so I came back, to be her prisoner, and hope…hope she’s willing to take me, and…I don’t know…”

Tears of frustration filled Amber’s eyes. She really didn’t have a plan here. Her whole goal had been to get to Kollei, but now…now the Blizzard was almost here!

“Please, I just…I need a little rest, then I’m going to go find the Princess, and try to convince her to stop!” Amber begged, pawing rather weakly at the man in an effort to get him to set her down. 

Even if he did have…well, a rather impressive bust. That made Amber a little jealous. She was too tired for this, she wasn’t thinking sense. 

“I think not. I am Arlan, known as the Spider, Örmekşi. This is my orphanage, where I live with my children. You can stay here, little rabbit, for a time. But I fear the Fatui will soon come to us. I hope that, perhaps…well. I want nothing of this war. Or any war. Only to live in peace with my children.”

“That’s…that’s a good dream. That’s all I’ve ever wanted, too,” Amber said, resting her head against Arlan’s chest. Her eyes drifted to the side, and she blinked. “Um, h-hello. M-Mr. Aranara.”

“Rest now, Saśakā-Nara. Arabalika will watch Father-Nara and Small-Nara. Cold Nara will not trouble this place,” the forest spirit said. 

“You can see it?” Arlan gasped, looking around, but not seeing the fairy that was hovering beside them. 

“I...I guess? S-sorry, I…I think I’m going…going to pass out now…if that’s…that’s OK…”

Amber closed her eyes, and drifted away in the strong arms of her rescuer. Some knight she was. She didn’t know who this strange parahuman was, but she could only pray that he and his children would be safe. That he could keep Amber safe while she slept.

And that she could somehow stop Kollei before she killed them all, or worse. 

May I Enjoy My Life: Entry 35

7/8/1000

Standing at the base of the last Eye of Iberia, I actually felt like I was having a real adventure! Here I was, at the end of the world, the endless dark depths of the sea beyond the lighthouse, with the key to a legendary bastion, from which we would retake an even more legendary Iberian Battleship!

Also, I felt a LOT better. The Empathy from Fred and Arturia isn’t what I would call high quality. I’ve met bricks with more emotional range than Fred, and his sister is…ok, I’ll just say it: Arturia is fucking weird. And that’s me saying it! Look, you stand her next to Specter the Rhyming Nun, and I don’t know who’s weirder! That’s how weird she is! She’s all about “freeing your emotions” and playing on her electric cello, which is odd, but she HATES explosions! What kind of Sankta hates explosions!? Says they have bad harmonics or something. 

AND SHE HATES GUNS! That is Heresy, with a capital H! She doesn’t even keep her Patron Firearm on her, and she says she pawned it for cello strings. That is the equivalent of selling your first born child for a pack of chewing gum and half a bottle of beer! And not even good beer! Columbian Light beer! 

Also, she told me she didn’t like my Ooey Gooey Deep Dish S’mores Pizza because it was “too sweet” and “an insult to authentic Columbian pizza.” Who the fuck talks about authentic Columbian pizza!? I nearly had an apoplexy on Texas and Lucia’s behalf.  

I think Arturia is actually a Seaborn or an alien. And not the cool kind like James! The weird kind, who kidnap burden beasts and probe them. 

IRENE LIKED MY PIZZA! Said it wasn’t real pizza, but a good dessert! I told her I was confiscating Arturia’s halo and giving it to her. At least IRENE has a Patron Firearm! She calls him Reconciliación, which is a GREAT name for a gun. 

Fred told me his guns’ name was Model W 1081 Lever Action Shotgun. Both of them. THAT’S NOT THEIR NAMES, THAT’S THEIR PRODUCTION NUMBER! LAW DAMMIT FRED!

Anyway, I do like having Arturia and Fred along. Mostly for the Empathy, not my blood pressure. And, well, the firepower is nice too, I guess. 

“APPLE PIE!” I cried gleefully as I used Lenord to take out a group of half a dozen seaborn that came pouring out of the lighthouse towards us. Just the little ones, but that was alright! We were just getting started!

More and bigger seaborns crawled up the sides of the rocky causeway or emerged from the Lighthouse. Fred blasted the ones on the left to itty bitty pieces, while Mudrock and Irene took the right side. Surtr and I held down the front, while Arturia played her cello. I hate to admit it, but she’s actually really good at that. Somehow, her music kept Team Apple Pie in sync with one another, while disrupting the hive mind thingy that Seaborn have going on, and allowing us to clear a path. 

“We’ve got it covered! Get Leader and Amiya inside!” I shouted at Gladia. She, along with Dario, Specter, and Skadi, were escorting our two VIPs inside to turn the big lightbulb back on so we could go find the ancient treasure ship, and raid it for treasure! With them was this sweet local kid named Jordi. Leader went right to his house when we got to Gran Faro, and it turns out his parents were lightkeepers or something. He had all these notes about how to reactivate the Last Eye. 

“Venatores, Procedite!” Gladiia bellowed, and Specter the Rhyming Nun became Specter the Human Buzzsaw. She was still cackling madly and reciting some sing-song rhyme, but I couldn’t really understand it. For some reason, Aegirese is really close to Classic Lateran, only if you speak it like you’re gargling salt water. So, uh, well, the words weren’t the problem, it was all the explosions (mostly from me) and the sound of Specter’s buzzsaw. 

Skadi, on the other hand, had a sword bigger than she was, but was managing to swing it so fast even my eyes had a hard time tracking it. The two of them absolutely butchered a path through the Seaborn, with Gladiia and her big spear stabbing other Seaborn clean in half.

You would think the carnage from the three Sankta, or the three Abyssal Hunters, would be in a fierce competition for the most damage.

You’d be dead wrong. Because holy shit, the King of Fiends had taken the field, and she was taking no prisoners. 

Black arts sprouted from Amiya, and I saw that crown form on her brow again. She blew apart a trio of enormous seaborn that tried to slither up the causeway, ones that were too big for even me or Fred to deal with in one shot. Then she shredded two dozen more seaborn. They just…melted. 

Leader walked along at her side, hands in their pockets of all things, absolutely confident in their allies. Jordi was way less certain, cringing and clutching at an arts wand. He was supposedly a pretty good nurse, but frankly, we were operating under the principle that you didn’t need healing if you killed everything before it could hurt you.

The Abyssal Hunters surged ahead, and we blocked the path behind them, keeping it free of Seaborn as they climbed the stairs. There were literally hundreds of seaborn, from the smaller varieties right on up, but they were getting absolutely pasted by us. Like, this wasn’t even fair. Really fun though! Even if it was super smelly. 

After about 20 minutes, the Lighthouse suddenly burst to life, a great golden beam piercing the darkness. At the same time, the Seaborn assault slackened off, which was cool. Even I was running out of ammo, and I had brought a lot of ammo. Apparently, the golden light repelled the Seaborn to a degree, so they retreated and stopped their wave assault. 

“Ok, people, great job! Sit rep?” I called as I hastily began to check and clean Lenord. That had been a lot of firing, and I was worried he had overheated. I take good care of my babies, but that was a lot of abuse. 

“Ammunition low. Resupply required,” Fred stated, doing his own care and maintenance of his weapons. 

His sister just laughed and grinned. “A magnificent performance! Our emotions, they were an orchestra of passion! Our foes, their song was sweet and intense! Such beauty! Encore, Encore!”

“Only minor wounds,” Irene panted, flopping down on the floor and pulling out her canteen to take a long pull. “The Lighthouse, it shines again! Iberia, he endures!” 

“The Earth bleeds and weeps. This land is corrupted,” Mudrock said, putting her hand to the floor. There had been some sort of weird taint to the soil at first, but she’d driven it away or purified it, at least for now.

“I’m good for now,” Surtr groaned, plopping down beside Irene despite the ichor everywhere. She pulled out a lollipop and began to chew at it, then stuck herself in the thigh with an Arts amp. Not great, but she wasn’t ODing just yet, though if she stopped mainlining that stuff, she probably would drop. 

“Fantastic! Take five, and get ready to roll! Leader said we wouldn’t be here long,” I told them, and everyone nodded. 

Five was about all we got, because the other group came back down. Leader stepped forward and nodded to us. “Good work. We’ve made contact with the Stultifera Navis. Mizuki and the others are bringing the boat up, and we’ll head out there to retrieve some key research and an important asset. If everything goes well, we’ll also be able to use the ship to reach the Arbor.”

“The Arbor?!” Gladiia gasped, whirling on Leader in shock. “You, you mentioned nothing of this! That is sheer madness! Why would you even-” 

“It’s a Precursor site. Without the technology located there, the entire world may be doomed,” Leader stated. “Our mission is to both pacify the Seaborn and to prevent a Catastrophe from using the technology in the Arbor to assimilate the Seaborn into Originium, which could spell the end of everything. Nothing would survive.”

“What kind of Catastrophe could do that?! How do you even know all this?!” Gladiia demanded hotly, with Specter and Skadi looking rather uncertain at their leader’s outburst. 

Leader shook their head. “The source of my knowledge is too dangerous to even speak of. Suffice to say, the gamble is worth the risks. We have also brought the greatest firepower that Rhodes Island, Aegir, and Iberia have to bear. This is our best and only chance. We can save not just Aegir, but Iberia, and perhaps every living thing on Terra. I have a plan. I need you to trust me.”

“I…” Gladiia hesitated and glanced at Skadi and Specter. 

“Domina, I believe we must trust in the Ghost of Babel,” Skadi stated firmly. “They area genius beyond genius. I have served under them at Rhodes Island for three years now. If anyone could save Aegir…it would be the Doktah of Rhodes Island.”

Gladiia turned to Leader, obviously still frustrated. “The Arbor will deny even you access! Not even Aegir’s greatest minds could enter that complex, even if we were to defeat the Firstborn, Izumik, the Source of Ecology!” 

Slowly, Leader reached up, and peeled back their hood. Everyone held their breath, and I admit it, my jaw dropped in shock. Not the only one either. Only Amiya didn’t seem to be too surprised as the face of the Ghost was revealed. 

Pale, milky eyes, that somehow pierced the soul. Alabaster skin and hair, and features that were, aside from their lack of pigmentation, remarkably ordinary. “I will be granted access, because I am an Administrator. I am the Oracle of the Precursors. And I was there when the Arbor was built.”

“Holy Law guide and protect us,” Irene whispered, clutching at her crucifix, and I could only swallow and nod. Even Freddo looked stunned, though Arturia managed to smile and nod, as if she saw this coming.

No the fuck you didn’t, Ria! This was somehow even wilder than Kal’stit being the next best thing to the Law itself. Leader wasn’t claiming to be God like Kal had. No, Leader was claiming that they created God. At least, if I understand the theological ramifications of all this. I know a lot of history, but this is way the fuck above my pay grade. 

“I…” Gladiia hastily knelt, and Specter and Skadi joined her in genuflecting from their knees. I mean, I guess I knelt too, because Saints above, this was nuts! “Dominus, what is your command?”

“Well, first, to stop calling me Dominus. Doktah is fine. I gave all that up. I’m just Doktah now. But we have to hurry. PRTS has gone offline. We don’t have much time.”

What the hell did PRTS acting up have to do with anything? We were pretty far from Rhodes Island, surely it wasn’t that weird for it to be on the fritz?

Oh well, far be it from me to question…whatever Leader was. 

Just kidding, I raised my hand. “Um, so, Leader, about that cherry bomb in the bathroom last week…”

They actually chuckled as they pulled their hood back up. “A harmless prank, Lemuen. Though, honestly, you’re lucky my pants were already down, because otherwise I would have crapped them.”

I giggled half hysterically. “Good! Don’t think just because you’re some ancient god or whatever that I won’t loosen the lid to the sugar at the coffee pot! Gotta keep those ancient deities on their toes!” 

“Eh, I just pour the grinds in my mouth with some hot water, more efficient that way,” Leader laughed. 

“Sangre de los mártires, they are crazy,” Irene muttered, then put her hands over her mouth in horror. 

“This is a terrible mission,” Dario said, slowly rising on creaky knees. “A mad one, even. But if the threat is so great…then we must hurry. Come, to the boats. I never thought I would see the Golden Ship in my lifetime, yet, here we are. It is a good day!”

“But not to die!” I added hastily before anyone said something stupid. “If we die, we can’t have after-mission ice cream!” 

That finally broke the tension, and everyone was all smiles. We hastened down to the dock, which was in shockingly good condition, where Mizuki, Thorns, and the rest of our operators were already loaded up and ready to go. 

We got on the boat, and we hadn’t gone far before poor Mudmud was clinging to the side and looking very, very green. 

“Wow, you OK, sister?” I said, rubbing her back. 

“...don’t like…boats,” she mumbled. “Need…land…before-HURRRRK!”

Oof. Boats don’t bother me, I’ve never gotten motion sick in my life, but our Gargoyle was not doing so hot. Amiya came over and offered healing, but Mudrock just shook her head. We did give her some dramaphine, which should help, but it would have been better to give it before she was revisiting last night's dinner. 

We hadn’t been going for more than an hour, before a great dark silhouette appeared on the horizon. As our small squadron approached, it was revealed to be a massive dreadnought, one nearly the size of a landship in scale. I could only gawk up at it, and wonder how much boom it would take to blow her up.

“Do not,” Irene said, glaring at me.

“What?” I asked innocently.

She pointed an accusatory finger at me. “I know that look, Exusiai! You are thinking, ‘how much explosives would it take for me to destroy this priceless relic from Iberia’s Golden Age?’ Well, I am telling you now, no! You will not be blowing him up! He is a fine, proud ship!”

“Aren’t ships usually girls?” Surtr asked, still sucking on her lollipop. Or maybe another one, actually. I should bum a couple off her, I was fresh out. 

Irene rolled her eyes. “Victorian ships, yes, they are being girls. The same with Sargonian, Siracusa, and Lateran. But Iberia, we are having better sense, yes? We are knowing a ship is a man! Strong and steadfast, yet fickle and needing constant care. A ship, he is like a man! So, they are a man!” 

Surtr shrugged. “Sure. I guess if you bird-brained weirdos wanna be weird, you can.”

Irene puffed up, but I tapped her on the shoulder. “Ireeeene…she’s trying to rile you up. And you fell for it. Again.”

That was when Surtr pulled out her sucker to give the other sucker her very best shit-eating grin, and steam came out of Irene’s ears. Harrumphing, our favorite Inquisitor folded her arms over her chest and turned her back on Surtr. “We are arriving! We should be preparing for battle, not having witty repartee!” 

“Angry bird is right, people! Lock and load!” I called, and everyone prepared as we approached the ship. 

The radio crackled to life, and Leader’s voice came over the waves. “Attention, all Operators. The Stultifera Navis is heavily infested with Seaborn. We anticipate heavy resistance. Our primary objective is to recover research data from within the ship’s engineering section, and retrieve an Abyssal Hunter Operative. Secondary objective is to completely eradicate all Seaborn presence. Ch’en will be leading Dragon Squad with Mizuki on a Search and Destroy mission. Exusiai and Apple Pie Squad will be heading to Engineering to retrieve the data. And Gladiia will be leading Abyssal Squad to the Bridge with Amiya and myself to recover personnel. Fight for the Dawn. I’ve uploaded tactical data to the local network, and will be coordinating you in real time. Do not attempt to connect to PTRS: I have severed the connection, and any data sent is to be considered compromised and non-secure.”

“Apple Pie Squad copies! Us ladies, and Fred, are ready to party hard!” I answered as cheerily as I could. Well, OK, I had to tone it down slightly. Recovering ancient Aegirian secrets from Engineering?! This was a real life treasure hunt! It was slightly disappointing I wasn’t going to get to blow up the old girl, boy, whatever, but recapturing him would be almost as much fun!

“Oh, and there is a tertiary objective for Apple Pie Squad!” I told my team as I pulled out a Very Important dufflebag. 

“Yes?” Fred said, and everyone peered forward at the bag.

I reached in, and pulled out a couple of rattle cans, shaking them vigorously. Irene let out a horrified gasp, but I ignored her. “We’re tagging this bitch! People are gonna know that Apple Pie Squad was here!” 

“Fuck yeah!” Surtr laughed, grabbing a cheery red and neon green can with glee. 

Mudrock took a brown one with a lot less enthusiasm, while Irene looked murderous. “This a holy place! A sacred relic!” 

“Yeah, and Freddo can tell you about the time I tagged the Basilika Canonis! So this isn’t even my first time defacing a holy place!” I told her with a wide grin. 

“I was unaware that you were the perpetrator of that incident,” Fred said, his brow furrowing slightly. “Indeed, there is still an outstanding warrant for the arrest of the vandal responsible. Also, once again, I believe there has been some miscommunication. My name is not ‘Freddo,’ or ‘Fred.’ It is Federico Giallo, of Notarial-”

“Sure thing, Fred! I’ll get right on turning myself in for crimes that I’m pretty sure the statute of Limitations is up on.”

“The Statute of Limitations on this crime does not expire for six months and-”

“Oops, too late! Heeeeeeere’s Giannnnniiiii!” I cried as we reached the side of the dreadnought. I activated a grapple gun on the ship, and a rope ladder shot up, and attached itself to the railing. “Last one onboard’s a stale donut!” 

I swarmed up the ladder and right into a seething nest of Seaborn. Which is why I wasn’t actually the first on the ship: That would be my friend, The Holy Hand Grenade of San Bartolo. So named because I made it myself, and it was about ten times as powerful as a non-holy hand grenade, so most people’s reaction to seeing me toss one was “HOLY SHIT!” 

“KABOOM!” I cried gleefully as Magister San Bartolo went off, then hurled myself up onto the deck, Victor in one hand, Lenord in the other. I sprayed down the deck good and proper, sending woodchips and smoke in all directions. There were still a LOT of Seaborn coming my way, which was why I was very glad the next person onto the deck was Mudrock. She brought the hammer down, causing a good portion of the deck to disintegrate and pulping half a dozen Seaborn in the process. 

All accompanied by a pretty damn epic score from Arturia. She went up one Cool Point in my ledger. She still has like negative sixty millions, but it is incredibly satisfying to have your own theme song play as you blow up bad guys. 

The rest of us got up onto the deck, and pulled up the map of the ship that Jordi had supplied us with. And it really did feel like a map, not schematics: this place was the size of a city, and some of the sections were hundreds of meters in diameter. 

“Right, Engineering is this way,” I said, highlighting our route. “Leader, any advice?”

“Watch out for the Nethersea Brand. It covers much of the ship, and is highly corrosive. Mudrock should be able to cleanse it, but the best way to handle it is to kill all the Seaborn. Do not attempt to speak to or negotiate with the crew: They are all corrupted. The exception is Captain Alfonso, but I anticipate he’ll be on the bridge.” 

Thanks for the heads up, Bones, I thought to myself. That Weird Alien knowledge sure did come in handy!

We moved as a team below decks, and to my surprise, everything was in near-perfect condition. The walls and floors were gleaming with gold, which, I guess made sense? Gold doesn’t tarnish and all that, but there weren’t any stains or anything else around. Heck, the power was still on, which was super freaking weird. This ship had been out here since before the Profound Silence, and that had been sixty years ago. 

“Spooky, huh?” I commented as we moved down the wide corridors in battle formation: Mudmud in front, me and Irene behind her, Ria in the middle, then Fred and Surtr as our rearguard.

“I confess, I was not expecting him to be in such a state. The crew, they must still be attending to their tasks, but…” Irene trailed off as we rounded a corridor. There, a group of six vaguely humanoid seaborn were working away with mops and sponges, cleaning things. They had the same coloration as other seaborn, and the same tendrils coming off of them, but…well…I could see Liberi features on them. They turned black eyes on us, and I swallowed. 

Then I shot them in the head. They didn’t die easy, Seaborn don’t do that, but they did die in sprays of ichor. More seaborn swarmed us from a side corridor, and that corrupting black ooze started to spread from one that was carrying a glowing staff and singing. 

“Their song! I…I can hear it! Their emotions…they are… rejoicing?” Ria gasped, her own song faltering slightly. 

“Well don’t fucking listen! KILL THEM!” I screamed at her as I fired at the caster, but it had a weird barrier protecting itself. 

It took Mudmud wading through the little seaborns, crushing them with her hammer, then pulping the caster with a swing of her fist. She grunted, holding back the spreading ooze, but shook her head after a moment and stepped back. “There is little Earth here. I cannot cleanse this, and it is spreading from the blood of these creatures. We must hurry.”

“Right, keep moving, people!” I ordered, shooting a worried glance at Ria. Her emotions were…well, they were going haywire. I fell in beside her, letting Irene pick off the next group of little seaborn. “Hey, you OK? You’re not listening to that song, right?”

“It is a new song. I have heard many songs, even the Witch Kings,” Arturia told me, giving me one of her crazy smiles. “Their song will not overwhelm mine, Lemuen, never you fear.”

“OK, but if you’re not good, just holler, OK? We’re a team! We support one another!”

“Ah, yes. I am usually a soloist, but it is so fascinating to play alongside a Sankta who thinks herself a sarkaz!”

I gave her an odd look. “Uh, we’re all Sarkaz. I thought you knew that.”

Arturia blinked at me rapidly, her bow actually faltering on her strings. “I- what?! Why would you claim this!?”

“We’re descended from Sarkaz. Didn’t the Pope tell you? I thought his letter…” I trailed off, as even Fred was looking at me funny now. 

“His Holiness ordered that we work alongside Sarkaz. Claiming Sankta are descended from Sarkaz is illogical. Our biology is too different,” Fred stated matter-of-factly. 

“Her emotions…you truly believe this, don’t you? Fascinating. I wonder what led you astray,” Ria said with a sly grin that made me wanna punch her in the face. 

“So you just think I’m crazy!? Don’t see that- CONTACT FRONT!” 

More Seaborn poured out, with two of those caster ritualist things. I managed to blow one to bloody chunks this time, but now there were Seaborn coming at us from behind too. The immaculate floors were a lot more disturbing now: the crew might have become mindless horrors, but they were still attending to their duties. 

We fought on through sporadic hordes of Seaborn, with never more than a few minutes to rest. It took nearly an hour, but we finally made it to engineering. It was a vast, cavernous space, with great engines still humming along. I half-wondered how they still had enough originium to keep them running, then decided that I didn’t really want to know. 

There were a few little ones running around, but not too bad. We cleared those out, then searched for the data that Leader wanted. 

“Hey, the guy who wrote the stuff we were looking for was called Breogan, right?” Surtr called. 

We all hurried over, and sure enough, there were some relics and papers locked away in a fancy desk that had been in a sealed office. We grabbed everything we could, stuffing it into special messenger bags. We were just about done, when Executor raised his shotguns. 

“Enemy movement. It appears to be somewhat large.”

Even before I could race to the door, an eerie song began. It sent shivers down my spine, and gave me fowlbeast pimples all over my body. I peered out to see the oddest looking seaborn  yet. It had what looked like a jellyfin for a head, with long trailing ribbons behind it. All around it, dozens and dozens of the little seaborn crawled, and more of those caster things, spreading the black ooze. 

“LEADER! We’ve got a big one here! And it’s singing!” I desperately called into the radio. Leader had to have a plan for dealing with this, because that was a LOT of Seaborn coming our way. 

“Singing? We assassinated Amaia, so it’s not the Endspeaker. Can you take it out, or do you need reinforcements?”

“We can try, but we’ve got the data! Should we exfil?” I asked, even as I fired full auto at the advancing wave and we fell back as a group. I did a quick headcount and came up one short. 

Oh fuck. 

Arturia was playing away, right in the path of the Seaborn. They weren’t attacking her, instead, going around her. I groaned and spoke into the radio: “Cancel exfil! Arturia seems to be enthralled by the song! We’re going in to extract!” 

“Do not fear for me!” Arturia called as we charged back for her. “Their song harmonizes with mine! We shall make such music together! Flee, while you can! I shall reveal in these emotions laid bare…

“Arturia! You are being illogical. The Seaborn will overcome you!” Fred called, blasting away hordes of them. I mowed them down as fast as I could, but we were too slow. The big jellyfin reached out, and caressed Arturia with one of its tendrils, still singing. 

Just like that, the timbre of Arturia’s music changed. I no longer felt it just in my mind. I felt it through my Empathy. In my very being. Fred locked up, and I watched as his guns slowly, ever so slowly, began to turn away from the Seaborn, and towards Surtr and Mudrock. I felt my own guns drift that direction, against my own will. Whatever that song was, it was going directly to the heart of what made us Sankta, and exploiting our Empathy. In another moment, I knew the music would overwhelm me and Fred both, and we’d turn our guns on our allies. Then, the Seaborn would take us, and I would lose everything that made me, me. 

It was an easy choice. Almost too easy. I fired twice. I’m a good shot. The best. 

My first shot deflected Fred’s own, preventing him from shooting Surtr in the back. My second took Arturia in the right shoulder. It wouldn’t kill her, but it did wreck her ability to play that cello. Fortunately, it also snapped her out of whatever the Seaborn had been doing to her, and she staggered back before pulling out a small pistol and shooting the seaborn with it. 

I managed to keep from vomiting, and I blew that stupid jellyfin’s head off. Then I upchucked. Managed to get my visor up in time.

“F-fall back,” I gasped, wiping bile from my mouth. “Apple Pie Squad, retreat!”

It was all a blur. We managed to fight back, even as cries from the Abyssal Hunters came about someone called “The Last Knight.” Dragon Squad made contact with Ulpianus. But, the Seaborn had Engineering, and we couldn’t take it back. Plan B: We planted explosives, and I did get to blow up the whole ship to scuttle him. 

Then, we made it back to the little boats, where I collapsed, panting and out of breath. I was numb. My whole body was shaking. 

“Ex…Exusiai?” Irene gasped, finally noticing what had happened. I had on a helmet, of course, but it had sprouted two neat little holes. “What happened to- oh, Holy Law! No!”

“Everyone OK?” I managed, staggering to my feet as the boats turned away. I turned my back on the explosion as it went off. I just…I couldn’t, not right now. 

“Exusiai, sit down,” Irene said firmly, grabbing my arm and hauling me over to a seat. 

“Hey, it’s fine! I-Ice cream all around!” I stammered, but the shakes had started. 

Fred came over and studied me. Then, he reached for Victor. “Lemuen Exusiai. Under Article I, Canto IV, your patron firearm is-”

“Not now!” Irene hissed. 

Mudrock looked up from where she was tending to Surtr, who was in Arts overdose and unconscious. She was the only reason we’d made it out, her flaming sword cutting a path to freedom when my aim was off from how badly I was shaking. 

“It is the law,” Fred said.

“Fedi?” Arturia said, looking up from where a medic was treating her shoulder wound. 

“Yes?” he said, glancing at his sister. 

“Now isn’t the time,” Arturia said. She forced the medic off of her, and came over to me. Her good hand took my right in hers, while Irene held the other. “Lemuen. It’s going to be-”

“It’s, it’s fine, I’m…I’m ok! No worries, I’ll just sleep better without a nightlight!” I laughed, though I knew I was hysterical.

“The patron firearm is not only confiscated because it is the law,” Federico said, and both Irene and Arturia turned murderous gazes on him. “It is to prevent suicide. Exusiai will need to be watched, for at least 72 hours. Fallen who are not carefully monitored in the first 72 hours have a 37.2% suicide rate.”

“Ah.” Arturia nodded, and Irene reached over, taking Victor from me. I gasped in pain, but Mudrock had come over and wrapped me in a hug. I struggled a little, but they took them all from me: Victor. Scardy and Katt. Infinite Justice. Earl of Headshot. Lenord. Sasha. My grenades. My knives. Even my toenail clippers. 

I was shaking all over, and trying not to cry. “Guys, don’t be silly! It’s fine! I, I said I was a Sarkaz! And…and now…”

I hiccuped and glanced down at the tail in my lap. My tail. Just like Mostima’s. Oh Law. 

They pried my helmet off. Had to cut it off, actually. Wasn’t made to be used with horns. I was wrapped in a blanket, and Mudrock and Irene both clung to me in a warm hug. When we got back to base camp, they gave me all the ice cream I could eat.

Which was zero. Everything tasted like ashes. 

I had Fallen. And I was never getting back up again. 

On the Elements, Chapter 6

On the Elements, Chapter 6

"I must correct you. People here bear no sins in the eyes of the gods... Only laws and the Tribunal can judge someone. They can judge even me.”

-Focalors, Hydro Archon

Out of all the Archons, the Hydro Archon was for many years the most enigmatic. Indeed, we knew almost nothing about Focalors for years, from her arrival until the destruction of the Blasphemies. Her only real appearance was when she very publicly judged the Raiden Shogun in Hong Kong, where many believed she had even emerged. 

This was, of course, entirely false and a ruse. The revelation that none other than the actress Furina de Fontaine was the Hydro Archon rocked the entire world, as she had been publicly received a Hydro Vision, and was categorized as a normal, even weak, Vision Holder. 

Furina has been destitute, living in a run-down flat with her lover, sister-in-law, and pet-turned-daughter, barely scraping by. She was very publicly arrested and imprisoned, even assaulted by three mid-level capes, defending herself with nothing more than ordinary pepper spray. She is the only known Archon to get sick, and it has been confirmed that she suffers from menstrual cramps, unlike all the other female presenting Archons. She is, from all outward appearances, human. Even more so than Mavuika. 

And yet, it is now undeniable that Furina is the God of Justice. This then tells us a great deal about who shall receive Hydro Visions, and why. 

1. Masked Paragons

Hydro Visions holders near universally have some sort of public-facing persona that is in sharp, sharp contrast to who they are privately. Publicly, Emperor Yukuaki is a stern and commanding figure, loyally assisting the Raiden Shogun in carrying out her will, and functioning as her High Priest and Prime Minister. 

Privately, he is Shousou_Kiei, author of the popular webnovel Train to the Stars, a supreme otaku just like his Lord who would rather stay in and cosplay as magical girls (yes, girls, not boys), and indeed, has even been photographed incognito doing so alongside Beezelbul and his wife. 

The same is true for Furina/Focalors, and indeed, there are many layers. Publicly, Furina has the persona of a somewhat arrogant and vain airhead who revels in her fame and fortune and longs to take center stage no matter where she is. Privately, she’s a thoughtful advocate for social justice, who enjoys nothing more than baking cookies with her daughter or watching soap operas with her lover in the privacy of her own home. 

Then, a layer deeper, there is Focalors: Imperious, commanding, serene. In complete and utter control of herself and those around her at all times, making even other Archons dance upon her strings. And yet a layer deeper: An inhuman god with supreme power, who humbles herself so utterly that it is little wonder an entire religion has been born of calling her the Second Coming of Christ. This is also why Furina/Focalors is the only Archon I will refer to by their mortal name, as they are nearly two completely separate people and personas. 

No matter the persona, though, Hydro Vision holders are paragons at whatever they apply themselves to. That does not mean they are always good: Hydro Vision holders are capable of monstrous evil, but they devote themselves utterly to that Evil. No, in this case, paragon simply means they are the ideal expression of what they seek, and do so in a second persona. 

2. Above all, Justice

What Justice means exactly to a Hydro Vision holder varies greatly. For Barbara d’Orleans, Justice is Social Justice. She uses her fame as an actress and influence as the daughter of the French President and close personal confidant of the Hydro Archon to create songs that are anthems for the poor and downtrodden working class that she was not born a part of, but is now a champion of. The films, commercials, and shows she appears in universally have powerful messages of social reform, unionism, and eating the very rich upper class Barbara was born into.

Notably, Barbara’s personal net worth is less than one million mora, as she consistently donates everything else to charity. She has also stated her entire inheritance from her mother will go to charity, and all the properties she has inherent had been converted into schools, hospitals, and other charitable causes. She and her partner live in a ramshackle apartment in Paris, despite Barbara having connections to the wealthiest individuals in the world. 

For Furina, her Justice is the Justice for the Small against the Great. This was most clearly seen when she humbled even the Endslayer in court against the people of China, judging even a god not to be above the dictates of Justice. Rumor has it that she will judge even the Tsaritsa when she finally awakens fully, but that has yet to be seen. My personal opinion is that Beezelbul allowed herself to be judged before Morax’s arrival to reconcile herself to him, but that is only a theory. 

3. Life is Art, and Art is Life

Without exception, Hydro Vision holders devote a great deal to their Art, whatever that may be. For my daughter, Fortuna, that art is the reading of Fate and Prophecy. It is now a fundamental fact that the scientific community is still grappling with that the universe is now largely deterministic, and that Fate is a very real and present concept that is nigh on inescapable. Fortuna was one of the first mortals to be trained under Buer, and then later under Focalors. She has brought the art form of Fate Reading and Hydromancy to the world, even going so far as to blind herself and remove her own Shard so that her parahuman powers wouldn’t interfere with her pure art. 

As for Furina, to her, Justice is high drama. No longer in France are courts solemn and scantamonious places of dry legal proceedings, with dour judges and straight-laced lawyers quibbling over minor details. Instead, they are passion plays, where dramatic reveals and counter-reveals are not only expected, but nearly required. The letter of the law is not what is at question, but the soul of the thing. The emotion, the passion, the human element, is what takes center stage. 

Indeed, the entire courtroom is a stage, where the audience and their reactions to something as mundane as a parking ticket is considered a key part of the proceedings, and when high crimes such as murder take place,  the courtroom antics make what would previously have been considered near-farcical legal dramas to seem tame by comparison. 

But, in the end, Justice is administered. The Oratrice Mécanique d'Analyse Cardinale, powered by the Spirit of Focalors, will render its verdict, and that verdict is final. Some claim that verdict is determined by who has most entertained Focalors, but I have not found this to be the case. Over and over again, I have found that the Oratrice has the supernatural power to see through to the heart of matters, no matter how much of a circus preceded it. The Truth, stated quietly and with feeling, will win out over bellicose lies every time in Focalor’s courts. Perhaps that is why so many other nations are accepting Oratrice devices to be built within them, to allow those who call upon the God of Justice to administer her verdicts. Perhaps when the one in New Moscow is complete, the Tsaritsa will have her day in court. 

Now, on to the element of Hydro itself. It is now universally recognized as the most powerful element, thanks not to its own strength, but the strength of the reactions with other elements it enables. Some draw parallels to Furina herself, who [...].

The Second Archon War: Superbia Hominum 19

Superbia Hominum 19: Like Lightning from Heaven 

Sitting below the Great Seal of the United States, Alexandria looked down the long oak table in the White House Situation Room. To her right, Vice President Dainson held his hands folded over the briefing report, a grim expression on his face. Since Alexandria had taken office in January, he’d actually done most of the day-to-day functions of the Office of the President, granted special warrant and authority while Alexandria commanded the United States Expeditionary Force in Europe, and now, Central Asia. 

On her left, as always, was Wyatt. Alexandria was still deeply concerned for her husband. They’d not spent much time together since the accident on Kaho‘olawe that had resulted in his exposure to what they were calling Abyssal Energy, but what Alexandria had seen of Wyatt disturbed her. He talked to himself now, and he’d developed a bit of a twitch. Previously, he’d been her ray of sunshine, but now he experienced violent mood swings, where he’d go from ranting to laughing in moments. Perhaps it was just the stress getting to him. 

Down the table was her Secretary of Defense, John McCain who oversaw what was left of the conventional US Armed forces, Miniver Cheevy, her Secretary of the Treasury, and on down the line. There were also the Joint Chiefs of Staff, as well as several other important generals and heads of Protectorate forces, including Legend and Miss Militia. 

“So. When will the invasion begin?” Alexandria asked. “And will that mean we can attempt retaking Finland?”

“Finland’s a lost cause,” Secretary McCain said, his Anemo Vision on his lapel glowing softly. “The Church of the Frozen Heart has taken a real hold there, and they have a homegrown legion of Fatui. Currently, we expect as much as 30% of the population is actively loyal to the Tsaritsa, and more specifically, the Princess. With the Dancer still stationed there, trying to go in would be futile. As for the invasion…any time now.”

“What are our odds of holding Kazakhstan?” Alexandria asked, fearing the answer. 

The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs pointed to the map. “The West and Central plains are going to fall quickly. There’s little to stop the Fatui from steamrolling through the steppe, excepting perhaps The Spider, who runs an orphanage on the Western shore near Qazaly. She’s strong enough to give minor Fatui pause, but a Harbinger would steamroll her. Past that, we have good odds of holding the capital, Almaty, thanks to the mountains in the South and Eastern parts of the country. And, we’re expecting aid from the newly formed Pan-Arab Pact, under Nahida Saeed.”

That had been a very recent development. After saving Mecca from the Simurgh, Kusanali had been hailed as the Righteous Djinn who had saved Islam and the Arab World. She’d even made inroads with the Iranians, the historical enemies of Iraq. Not everything was settled, but she had forces from all the major Arab nations under her banner marching towards Kazakhstan with the stated goal of saving their Muslim brethren from attack by the Tsaritsa, and the forced conversion that would take place if Kazakhstan fell. 

“I’m issuing standing orders that Protectorate forces are to, at all costs, preserve the life of Nahida Saeed, and Theresa Richter,” Alexandria said, pulling up Nahida and Tessa’s images on screen. “The Dendro Archon and her dragon are one of the only things keeping the world fed, as well as our buffer against the Simurgh.”

Knowledge that Ziz was the Simurgh was still a closely guarded secret that not even most of the people at this table knew. While she claimed to be reformed, Alexandria didn’t trust the Endbringer as far as she could throw her. Which, even with her Vision, wasn’t more than a few hundred yards. 

There were nods around the table, but Wyatt raised a hand. “If I may, Madam President, there is a potential solution we can deploy that could stop the Fatui in their tracks. Project Fulcrum has usable weapons and units that we can deploy against the Fatui.”

“Project Fulcrum?” the Vice President asked, and there were frowns around the table as everyone looked at Wyatt. 

Alexandria frowned at Wyatt, stroking her vision. “There have been issues with Fulcrum. Including your accident.”

That got everyone’s attention. It was known Wyatt had been in some sort of accident a few weeks back, which had resulted in his non-participation for the Finnish campaign. It had been rumored he was working on a super weapon, so the room was eager to see the results. 

“Issues that have been ironed out, mostly. Didn’t kill me!” Wyatt said with his usual boyish grin, though the usual twinkle in his eye was replaced by a viciousness that broke Alexandria’s heart, even if she understood. “And besides, we’re talking about deploying some assets as a weapon. We have begun human trials, and they have promising results. It’s a power that could stop the Fatui cold, pun intended.” 

“Has this weapon been field tested?” Dainson asked, his brow furrowing in consternation. 

“No, it hasn’t, but we’re not going to get a better time. The assets we’d deploy would be expendable,” Wyatt assured the table. “In fact, they’re non-human biological assets.”

“What, Uplifted Animals, like that little girl in France or Raiden’s pet fox?” Miniver Chevy asked skeptically. 

“Uh, no. More like…The Horde from Warcraft, or the Skaven from-”

“Wyatt,” Alexandria groaned, fighting back a fond smile. 

“Er, right. You guys know orcs, right? Uruk Hai?” Wyatt offered. 

“You can’t be serious,” the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs said, a look of disgust on his face. “We’re making ORCS? What, did we turn into the Dark Lord Sauron when I wasn’t looking?”

“Well, we’re calling them churls, not orcs, and we have command and control systems in place. They’re about as smart as dogs, can use crude weapons, and, well, what we’re calling Abyssal Energy,” Wyatt explained. 

“So you’ve made orcs with black magic? This is disgusting and outrageous,” the Chairman said, shaking his head. “You cannot seriously expect us to deploy US Servicemen and women alongside whatever filthy spawn you’ve created!” 

“The fact is, we need something to compete with Delusions,” Wyatt said grimly. “They have an endless source of superpowers. We’ve used dogs as our base stock, and exposed them to Abyssal energy. They’ve retained their loyalty to their masters, but also gained powers on the level of a Delusion holder. Depending on the methods we used, they can come out as either Blaster 3s, Striker 3s, Mover 3s, or Brute 4s. The Brutes are rarer, but easily capable of going toe-to-toe with Delusion holders with backup. We have about 100 ready to deploy now.”

“So many so quickly?” Alexandria asked, genuinely startled. When she’d last heard, they’d just started testing. 

“The dogs took to it better than the pigs or rats, and well, I refined our methods based on my own…experiences,” Wyatt said, passing a hand over his face and flinching slightly. He forced a smile on his face. “But, that’s 100 capes in less than a month! And no US lives are at stake.”

“I’m against it. If you’re experimenting with Dark Magic, I want nothing to do with it,” the Chairman said in disgust. Secretary McCain nodded in agreement, but the Vice President raised a hand. 

“Gentlemen, please. I think we need to try this. We lost more than 200 of our finest capes so far in this war, and America started with only 2000. A ten percent casualty rate is something we can’t sustain. If we can use these churls to bolster our numbers, and have an expendable line of shock troops…well, I love my dog as much as the next man, but I’d rather lose a dog than a man.”

“We are entering into human testing in the next few weeks,” Wyatt extended a hand, and dark violet energy bathed it, causing the lights in the room to flicker. The hand took on the appearance of mottled purple, with hardened carapace-like growths on the back, and long, taloned fingernails. “I was accidentally exposed to the Abyss in one of our experiments. Instead of killing me, I was able to absorb it, and learn from it. It’s a power I’ve not fully mastered, but it’s a power with so much potential. It’s an unlimited energy source, for starters, even more potent than the Sacred Sakura Network. It uplifts animals like Elemental Energy, but it’s more malleable and controllable. It has the potential to completely change the balance of power in this war.”

The Chairman stood up, pointing his hand. “This is too far! Capes are one thing! I didn’t like the conventional military being replaced by parahumans and vision holders, but I understood. What’s the point of a tank when one cape can wreck a platoon of them? Why build carriers when one flying blaster can take it out easier than a cruise missile? But this?! You’re literally acting like Sauruman, like Pyrates and the Red Hand!” 

“Oh, wow, Tad Williams?” Wyatt said, raising an eyebrow. “That’s a deep cut. Good books though.”

“I know my stories, Director Costa-Brown,” the Chairman snapped. “And this is the sort of thing that destroys a country!” 

“So, we roll over and let the Tsaritsa conquer all of Central Asia? Rely on the dendro archon and her dinosaurs to save us? What happens when the Tsaritsa decides to take back Alaska?” Dainson demanded. 

“Turning to Dark Magic isn’t the answer!” the Chairman argued. 

Alexandria nodded, feeling a pang, but then covering it over with Ice. “And would this have anything to do with the fact that your family has begun attending a Favonian church, Chairmen?” 

“I, that has nothing to do with-” the man sputtered. 

“Arrest him,” Alexandria said, pointing, and PRT officers closed in and grabbed the chairman, quickly handcuffing him. One pulled out a Favonian cross from his uniform and held it up. 

“Proof, ma’am.” 

“Enemies in our very midst,” Alexandria growled. She looked around the table. “This is our last chance. To stop not just the Tsaritsa, but all the Archons from subduing and enslaving humanity. I’m issuing the order later today: All Archon religious sects are to be considered threats to national security. All members of those churches are barred from holding Federal or State office, and any church cannot meet publicly or proselytize.”

“But, the First Amendment…” Secretary Cheevy said, looking disturbed as the former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs was hauled away. Perhaps Honey would have one of her first “volunteers” for his human experiments. 

“Was made in a time when religions didn’t directly fuel the power of foreign gods who are enemies of the United States,” Alexandria declared. 

“The Favonians, too?” Dainson asked, looking a bit shaken himself. “Barbados fought on our side.”

“He did,” Alexandria said, sitting down. “Now. I think it’s time I told the room the exact identity of Ziz. She’s better known as the Simurgh.”

By the time she was done, there were no objections to her Executive Order barring the open practice of Archonism.  They even agreed that Nahida would need to eventually be captured or checked in a manner that would render her useful to humanity, but harmless. 

And that they would be deploying churls to Kazakhstan. It was their one hope to actually stop the Fatui. 

And perhaps, find their Silver Bullet to save the world. 

Hovering over the battlefield, Alexandria watched as two dragons took flight. Farasha didn’t look like a normal human woman now; her bestial nature had fully revealed itself as a draconic insect with compound eyes and burning like that of a butterfly, along with two smoldering antennae. She, along with Theresa Richter were flying towards the Prince’s Blizzard, once more covering the Fatui’s advance onto foreign soil. 

“Form up, and cover them,” Alexandria said, trying not to sound bitter as the Protectorate capes fell into formation with the two dragons. Not too closely, but they were ready to intercept trouble when it came. 

As they approached the storm, Alexandria’s scouts spotted the Imperial Fatui Air Fleet, consisting of two dozen flying capes. They didn’t move to attack the dragons, but shadowed them from within the supernatural storm as the dragons began to fly parallel to the blizzard. 

When they were less than a mile away, Theresa began to release a trail of dendro spores, which left a glowing green wake behind them. Alexandria and her capes made sure to keep well clear of that, as if they became infused with Dendro, they risked falling prey to the next phase of the plan. 

Sensing something was up, the IFAF capes launched an attack from the storm, first shooting out a variety of blaster powers, then following up with a direct attack against Theresa. 

Alexandria interposed herself and her capes, raising Washington’s sword and forming a shield of ice on her left arm. She slammed into two Fatui, skewering one and sending them plummeting to the steppe far below them, and exchanging furious blows with the other. 

The clash, however, was brief, as Farasha suddenly unleashed a swarm of burning butterflies. Alexandria swore and dodged, but the butterflies didn’t attack the American capes, despite her reservations. Instead, they sent the Fatui fleeing, or in the case of several unfortunates, ignited their blood, turning them into more swarms of butterflies. 

“The bitch is terrifying as ever,” Alexandria muttered to herself. To her horror, she saw Farasha wink her left set of eyes, baring massive fangs in a grin. 

Deadliest bitch in the world! Oh, sorry, forgot to mention: I don’t need a radio to hear you. Anyway, time to set the world on fire!

The swarm of burning butterflies mixed with Theresa’s spores, and a powerful Burning reaction took place. Alexandria had read about the elemental reaction that had been used to drive off the Alpha Behemoth, and watched now as a conflagration of epic proportions turned into a massive firestorm. The two dragons began to fly in a mile-long spiral around the blaze, which became a swirling pyronado. Like two shepherds, the dragons then began to guide their storm into the Prince’s. There was a hiss and flash of energy far beyond simple snow and ice melting, as the Cryo that infused the storm battled the Burning reaction. 

For a moment, Alexandria held her breath until she remembered that was one of the few ways to actually harm herself. Still, she watched with trepidation as the two magical storms collided. 

Then, with a hiss, the Tsaritsa’s storm was eaten away by the Pyronado. It began to carve a large swath through, towards the Russian border hundreds of miles away, as the blizzard broke before it. 

Even the Protectorate capes let out whoops of joy, and the dragons bellowed in triumph. Alexandria couldn’t help but grin: they’d never managed this against the Fatui in Finland, even with Ziz’s help. 

As the storm faded, the Fatui’s formation revealed itself: there were shockingly few enemies behind the storm, only a few thousand, and most of them on foot. Still, the fact that every single one of them was a cape with a Delusion in addition to parahuman powers or a Vision meant that they were far more intimidating than a conventional force many times their own size. 

“What the hell are they doing,” Alexandria muttered, getting out a pair of binoculars and peering through them. She could make out three figures at the front of the Fatui army. One, by his bulk, had to be the Prince, though he appeared to be ranting and raving as he slashed his sword through the air fruitlessly. The other, hovering on her broomstick, was surely the witch. And the third…

The third was a young woman with a silver tiara on her brow, and a frozen scepter in her hand. She raised the scepter, and a powerful glow began to emanate from it. 

“The Cryo Gnosis, here!?” Alexandria gasped, then grinned. “This is our chance! All Protectorate forces, prepare to assault the enemy! The goal is to seize the Cryo Gnosis from the Princess! If we take that, they’re done for!” 

They still had little idea what the Gnosis was, but it was an artifact of immense power from Teyvat, and denying it to the Russians while gaining it for themselves would be invaluable. 

Eidolon and Legend’s groups launched and prepared to join Alexandria. They were minutes away, but that quickly proved to be too long. 

Children of Kazakhstan, I am the Princess. 

The voice echoed in Alexandria’s head, and she gritted her teeth. Shit. They’d have to screen everyone for being puppeted by Master powers after this, even her. 

My Mother’s claim to these lands is ancient. She begs you to return to the fold, that she might protect and treasure you the rest of your days. Do not resist. What I do now, I do for your own benefit. 

Then, Kollei raised the Cryo Gnosis. Before her, a massive, thorny plant began to grow. That was strange. Kollei had once held a Dendro Vision, but reports hadn’t seen her with it in months. Still, the plant seemed to be made of both ice and living vines, clearly using both Cryo and Dendro. The plant grew rapidly until it was the size of a small hill. As the Pyronado approached it, the vines stretched out, their icy thorns lashing at the attack. 

“There’s no way…” Alexandria muttered, even as Farasha and Theresa dove forward, attacking the plant themselves. 

However, when they tried, the Prince and Witch launched themselves into the fray. The Witch began to bombard Theresa with spells and potions she drew from a satchel that hung from her broom, causing flashes of Electro and Cryo that made Theresa roar in anger. She attempted to fight back with a spray of poisons, but the Witch just laughed them off. 

Not bad, little girl. But my cauldron brews much more potent venom. Let me show you…

The Prince and Farasha clashed, Farasha shifting back to her human form and wielding the Staff of Homa against the Prince’s sword. Butterflies met swirling rainbow storms of ice, and to Alexandria’s horror, they were largely snuffed out. Farasha did skewer the Prince and cause massive burns to the man, but he simply shed his body, then reformed behind her in a new one, chopping her head off in one stroke. That, of course, did not bother Farasha, who burst into butterflies, then coalesced and returned the favor. 

 “Fuck! Back them up, back them up! All squads, attack!” Alexandria ordered. She dove for the Princess, right through the burning Pyronado. The magical energies forced her to raise a Cryo shield, keeping herself protected in a halo of ice. As she got closer to the Princess, Alexandria raised her sword. Snarling with anger, she chopped aside thorny vines as thick as her chest. 

“NO ONE TOUCHES MY LADY!” 

Out of the vines, of all things, a cat girl with fangs and claws bared pounced, striking at Alexandria with her claws. Most attacks didn’t phase Alexandria, since her entire body was trapped in temporal stasis that prevented aging and nearly all physical attacks. 

The cat girl, however, had glowing blue spikes on her claws. Clearly magical in nature, they were able to rip through space and time, catching Alexandria in the shoulder and drawing blood. 

“GET OFF ME!” Alexandria snarled and slashed at the cat, who sprang away, scurrying up and down vines that waved and twisted in the burning air. The cat had an Anemo delusion, which let her both leap farther than even her enhanced muscles would have allowed, and protected her from the still burning Pyronado. 

Alexandria darted for the Princess again, who still had the Cryo Gnosis raised high. The cat saw and attacked again, but this time, Alexandria was ready. She flipped onto her back, stabbing at the cat and catching her in the right arm, which made the beast girl wail as she spun away, bleeding from a large gash.

“What the fuck are you?” Alexandria demanded. The cat had long, dark brown hair tied in braids, though she had pink ribbons woven into them, and was wearing a mink skirt and fishnet stockings of all things. She didn’t look like an uplifted animal, instead… “Wait, I know you: You're one of that fucker Heartbreaker’s spawn. Cherie Vasil. Guess like father, like daughter.”

“Pater is my father now,” Cheri snarled, stalking along a vine as it thrashed and shuddered in its battle against the Pyronado. “And the Princess is my Lady!”

“Fitting, that the welp of Heartbreaker would turn into a mind controlled pet,” Alexandria shouted. It was enough to rile Cherie into a reckless lunge at her. This time, Alexandria slashed her opponent across the chest and arm. Cherie screamed as she fell, but Alexandria didn’t have time to pay attention to that. Now was the time to attack. 

Breaking through one last screen of vines, Alexandria found the Princess. There were two dozen Fatui guarding her, but Alexandria ignored them, charging forward directly at her foe. Two Fatui flew up to meet her, but Alexandria blasted the first down with Cryo, then took the other’s head off with the presidential blade. Three more blasters shot at her, but their attacks only buffeted Alexandria: her invulnerability was too much. 

“This time, you die!” Alexandria snarled as she held her sword out like a lance and aimed to skewer Kollei through her blackened heart. 

No. Sweet dreams, Rebecca.

A portal opened right in front of Alexandria, and her momentum was too much: She shot right through it, and crashed into a snowbank, which hid a mountain of thorns. Somehow, it was enough to scratch her, even drawing blood, though no more than brambles would. 

Gasping in pain, Alexandria struggled frantically, the snow covering her and threatening to bury her. She couldn’t breathe! The brambles, the snow, she couldn’t breathe! She-

“It’s alright! Stop struggling, I’ll have you out in a moment.”

That voice…

“Kusanali?” Alexandria gasped, panting for breath as blood trickled from her myriad cuts. 

The vines shuddered, then their thorns withdrew, and they unwound themselves from Alexandria. She lifted herself up, finding she could float, but not fly like she normally did. She also wasn’t as strong. What was going on? She looked around, and found that all around her, snow was melting, and flowers bloomed in a rainbow carpet. There, looking up at her with clasped hands and a look of concern on her face, was Nahida Saeed. 

Alexandria dropped to the ground, wincing in pain. She was about to draw on her Vision for healing, something she rarely did for herself, but Nahida reached out and took her hand. 

“Please, allow me,” Nahida said, and green light washed over Alexandria, soothing away her hurts. 

“I…thank you,” Alexandria said, forcing a smile onto her face. She looked around at the alien landscape, which in one direction was endless icy death, and in the other, an arcadian paradise. “Where am I?”

“The Dream. Kollei once more wields the power of Dendro, but no longer as a mortal with a Vision. She has always had a strong connection to the Dream, and with her new powers, can easily banish others there,” Nahida explained. 

Shit. That was a serious problem. “And how do we stop it?”

“You could avoid her portals, or have someone with sufficient knowledge of the Dream banish them. Or, you could wait for me to come find you,” Nahida said, and gave a shy smile. 

Alexandria chuckled and knelt. “Thank you, Nahida.” She reached out a hand, but Nahida shied away from it. 

“I won’t hurt you,” Alexandria promised, feeling a slight pang to see someone who looked for all the world like a child gaze at her with such open fear. She reminded herself that Nahida could read minds, and began drawing on her Vision. She formed a mental cage of ice, locking out all intruders from her mind and emotions. Hopefully, it was strong enough even for the Dendro Archon. 

“That’s what the Sages said. Then they locked me in a cage.” Nahida said quietly. 

That made Alexandria flinch, and withdraw her hand. “The Archons are all a threat to mankind. You see what the Tsaritsa does. You are an exception, however…”

“Even Dantilion isn’t a threat to humanity. She Loves her people, in her own way,” Nahida said, shaking her head. 

Cold rage burned in Alexandria’s heart, and she stood. “How can you say that when so many lie dead?”

“I do not deny that she needs to be stopped; I am here, am I not? But, she is not the true threat. You know that, don’t you, Alexandria? That is what you prefer to be called, even in your own mind, isn’t it?”

“I…yes,” Alexandria admitted. “Though I am the President now.”

“I suppose you are, Madam President,” Nahida agreed easily, still keeping out of reach. 

“Look, I agree Scion must be stopped. But the Tsaritsa is a major threat. As is the Raiden Shogun, and even Barbados. You even keep the Simurgh on a leash,” Alexandria said.

Nahida shook her head, looking profoundly sorrowful, her ears drooping slightly. “I don’t, but you don’t understand that, do you? I killed the Simurgh, Madam President. It pained me to do it, especially since I trapped her in torment for hundreds of years first, but it died.”

“And yet Ziz walks free even now!” Alexandria snapped. “What if she is just waiting to kill another city? For F- Goodness sake, she’s a member of the Tone Deaf Bards! Millions listen to her music!” 

“Ziz simply isn’t capable of that. No more than Barbatos or I would enslave or kill one of our children, save at the direst need. And for me, not even then,” Nahida said gently, though she sounded deeply pained. 

“Then why are you here? This is a battlefield. Or will you keep me trapped to spare the Princess as she kills my own men?” Alexandria demanded. 

“You will be sent back, but no one will die this day. My mother’s butterflies have spread over the battlefield. All who fall will be returned to life,” Nahida said, a smile tugging at her lips. Then her expression fell as Alexandria’s own grew cold.

“And I assume that includes the Fatui.”

“Are they not sons and daughters, other human beings worthy of life?” Nahida asked, shaking her head. 

“They are our enemies! It’s kill or be killed!” 

“That is a false dichotomy. Life is not a binary, Madam President. People are complex organisms, who themselves contain an entire ecosystem of flora and fauna. Needless bloodshed only weakens us, before our true foe. That’s why I brought you here: I am going to speak to Kollei about peace, and this time, I cannot allow someone to sabotage the negotiations,” Nahida said.

“So you will trap me here!” Alexandria snapped, her hands forming into fists. 

“Rebecca: open your ears, and your mind. So long as they are closed, you are blind and deaf, and cannot learn.” Nahida rested a hand on her breast. “I would never willingly imprison anyone. I myself was trapped for 500 years in my own sanctuary.”

“Did you just say you imprisoned the Simurgh for hundreds of years?” Alexandria demanded coldly. 

Nahida sighed and nodded. “Yes. I suppose if there was no other option, I would keep you here. But there is another way. No, I brought you here to ask you something else.”

“There can be no peace with the Tsaritsa,” Alexandria growled. 

“Not that. There is…a darkness, I sense on you. Something I did not think had yet touched this world: Forbidden Knowledge.”

“What, because I know the secrets of Shards and Archons?” Alexandria scoffed. 

“No, I dare not speak it, for if that taint grows here,” Nahida shuddered. “You have heard the name Khaenri’ah.”

“Only as a riddle. A fable from your world to scare children? I am no child.”

“Then let me explain it to you, for while there is a clear moral to this story, it is no fanciful tale to frighten children, but a grim reminder of what happens when Pride blinds us to the truth.”

Nahida waved a hand and conjured up a glowing green hologram that unfolded like a pop-up book, depicting a sprawling kingdom upon its pages. 

“Once, there was a kingdom in the land of Teyvat, known as Khaenri’ah,” Nahida said. The image rippled, and it showed individual people, dressed in clothes that Alexandria would have described as high fantasy. It looked a bit like what she imagined Gondor would have, at the height of its power, based on what Wyatt had told her. 

“Now there were many gods in Teyvat at this time, for this was before the Archon War. All other lands had gods, whether great or small, and all other peoples were watched over by their deities. But not Khaenri’ah. For Khaenri’ah rejected all gods, and was founded as a godless land.”

“So, they were accursed for rejecting gods?” Alexandria demanded, trying to keep the scorn out of her voice.

“No, not at all! For thousands of years, Khaenri’ah prospered under wise rulers and with hard-working citizens,” Nahida explained. 

The pages flipped, and a procession of regal kings and kings with scarlet eyes amidst the green oversaw people who labored in workshops or in what appeared to be underground caverns, growing mushrooms and catching blind fish. 

“They lived underground?” Alexandria asked, slightly puzzled. 

“They moved underground to hide themselves from Heaven’s gaze, and were in turn ignored. For five thousand years, Khaenria’ah was known as a center of learning, industry, and human spirit,” Nahida narrated, and she showed people in the garb of other lands that Alexandria recognized as Mondstadt, Inazuma, Sumeru, and what she assumed were the other realms of the Archons. 

“So…what? What is the lesson then? We don’t need gods?” Alexandria asked, baffled. 

“It is true that humans do not truly need gods, though we do need humanity. Rather, humans cry out for divine blessings and intervention, and we the gods cannot help but hear the cries of those who are our children. Like loving parents, we cannot help but respond. While some gods can be capricious and cruel, only the most vile abuse their children. Those, however, the other gods and mortals united and destroyed, but this is not that story,” Nahida said. “This is a story of Pride.”

“Ah. So where’s the fall?” Alexandria asked, rolling her eyes. 

“In time, the wise rulers of the Crimson Moon Dynasty were usurped by another dynasty: the Eclipse’’

A wise old king was murdered by dark robed figures. One bent down and plucked up the blood-stained crown, placing it upon his own head.  

They were called the Vinter Kings, and for a time, they ruled reasonably well. But, as they prospered, so they grew proud. They began to listen to evil counsel and sought above all, power.”

Shadowy robed figures whispered in the ear of a king who grew hunched and old, his expression growing sour and paranoid. The people now labored in shadows, and some were dragged out, killed for what appeared to be no reason. Others worked in darkened laboratories, creating weapons of war and peering into dark portals. 

“They no longer sought to live in harmony without gods, but to cast down all gods, and to take the place of Heaven itself. To do this, they gave up everything. Even their humanity.”

Dark offerings were made to the portals, and tentacles came forth, wrapping themselves around the screaming victims and dragging them away. The researchers were warped and twisted, growing monstrous forms, while the dark king began to grow skeletal, a purple glow replacing his eyes and spikes protruding from his crown. 

“And there it is. So, mankind should stay in their place?” Alexandria asked in disgust. 

“You do not listen! Khaenri’ah sought power at any price, and power was offered! The price, however, was too great! The entire nation was swallowed up in payment for power given only to five! The Five Sinners of Khaenri’ah!” 

Five monstrous figures arose, devouring the kingdom and drinking in blood and power, until they towered over the entire desolated landscape. 

“For their sins, Khaenri’ah was destroyed. Heaven itself turned its wrath upon the kingdom, and the Seven were called to contain the destruction. My predecessor, Greater Lord Rukkhadevata, was slain in the Cataclysm!”

A glowing green woman stepped out onto the pages, and fought against the Khaenria’ahians, who had grown monstrous. In the end, she was dragged down and killed. 

“So, the Khaneri’ahians did slay a god,” Alexandria said grimly. 

“No!” Nahida wailed and shook her head. “She died SAVING them! Do you not see!?”

The scene played out again, and Alexandria saw that Rukkhadevata had come in, gathering up Khaenri’ahnian civilians and sending them to safety as she fought the monsters. She’d been so focused on the fight, she hadn’t even noticed the civilians fleeing for their lives. 

“They were all there! Morax!” 

An amber lord hurled great stone spears at an endless horde as he sheltered weeping Khaenria’ahnian citizens, an army of amber soldiers fighting alongside Khaenria’ahnian soldiers who had switched sides. 

“Barbatos!” 

A green bard with a bow shot arrows at a hulking purple dragon that sought to devour an entire land, gathering up Khaenria’ahnians and sheltering them from the dragon with his wings. 

“Ba’al!” 

A purple woman who looked like the Raiden Shogun, but wearing not armor but purple robes and wielding a spear fought against endless waves of horrors, and was struck down, even as she tried to rescue one more innocent child. 

“Egeria!” 

A blue woman in robes battled an endless horde of giant robots that had been corroded and twisted by purple energy, protecting yet more refugees. The robots overwhelmed Egeria, who with her last breath, sent the Khaenri’ahnians to safety. 

“Haborym!”

A burning woman with a flaming greatsword struck down an endless horde of monsters, keeping them away from fleeing humans. She barely managed to hold on, taking many wounds as she strove to save as many as she could. 

“And yes, even the Cryo Archon!” 

Not a woman, but an icy man created walls of ice as he tried to guide mortals to safety. In the end, he stayed behind, holding the barrier as the humans fled, but he himself was unable to escape, destroyed when a glowing pillar of light fell from on high, obliterating both him and the monsters. 

The books pages turned to show the fates of the Seven: The Amber Lord stood victorious over the field alongside the burning woman and the wind spirit. However, a great blue lake stood where the Hydro Archon had, a crackling thunderstorm where the Electro Archon fell, a great emerald tree grew over the corpse of the Dendro Archon, and where the Cryo Archon died, a great glacier stood. The book slowly closed, and the hologram faded. 

So. The gods can be slain. And the Abyss can do it.

Nahida looked at Alexandria, fear filling her face. “You, you understand, do you not?”

“The Abyss is deadly dangerous. You’re trying to warn foolish children away from it,” Alexandria said, shaking her head. “You’ve called us as such.”

“Madam President, look at me,” Nahida begged, and Alexandria met her eyes. Nahida put a hand to her chest. “I am a child. This form I take is not some artifact or clever ploy. It is who I am, what I am. Being a child is no bad thing. We children are full of hope, full of life, full of curiosity and a thirst for wisdom. In this case, yes, you are as a child. Ignorant, but curious. I am warning you, begging you: if you find the Abyss, do not study it. Do not approach it. Flee from it. Or your land will suffer the same fate as Khaenri’ah.” 

They just didn’t know what they were dealing with. But we do. And now I know for certain: this power can kill gods. 

“What if Scion discovers the Abyss? What then?” Alexandria demanded. 

Nahida shuddered, hugging herself as she closed her eyes. “Pray such never happens. Already, the King of Demons has power beyond reckoning and seeks to devour all. Should he tap into the Abyss…not only would he be annihilated, but this world, perhaps all of this reality, would be consumed.”

“Then we can’t let that happen, at any cost,” Alexandria said firmly. 

“Yes! Then, you understand?” Nahida asked hopefully. 

“I do,” Alexandria said, and knelt down. She extended a hand to Nahida. “You would sacrifice yourself like those others did, to save mankind from the Abyss. Wouldn’t you?”

“Without hesitation,” Nahida agreed, taking Alexandria’s hand almost shyly. “Please. If you find the Abyss, even a rumor…you will tell me, won’t you? Together, we could seal it off, and prevent it from corrupting this world.”

“Even if it could stop Scion?” Alexandria asked, already knowing the answer. 

Nahida somberly shook her head. “Some prices are too great. Using the Abyss to stop the King of Demons would only destroy that which you would seek to save, even more thoroughly than if he himself enacted his scheme.”

I’m sorry, Nahida, but you really are a child. One day, maybe you’ll understand. 

“I understand. If the Abyss does arise, we’ll work together to stop it,” Alexandria promised. 

Nahida studied Alexandria’s face, and for a moment, she thought she’d failed to guard her thoughts. But it seemed her abilities could wall out even the Dendro Archon. 

Smiling, Nahida nodded hopefully. “Good! Then I will return you to the battle. Though I abhor violence, you are correct that the Kollei and Dantalion must be stopped. I have a plan, and you must trust me that this can be resolved peacefully, without violence. When you arrive back, Kollei will be withdrawing: As I anticipated, she was able to stop Theresa and my mother’s attack, but at the same time, she is denied her storm. Let her withdraw: there is a way out of that will be a harmonious resolution, and for a small price.”

“And what is that?” Alexandria asked. 

Nahida shrugged. “She wishes for the Dendro Gnosis. It is but a small trinket. I have no need of it, and to buy peace, it is a fair price.”

“You would give over so much power?!” Alexandria gasped, astounded by the sheer folly of such an idea, and this from the so-called God of Wisdom!

“Power only means something if it is wielded properly. The Tsaritsa will find that in taking my gnosis, she loses far more than she gains. Fi aman Allah, Madam President.”

“No. America has no gods. We protect ourselves,” Alexandria said, and then stepped back through the waiting portal. 

She found herself not far from where she had vanished. The plant the Princess had grown had caught fire, and was burning away, dead and withered. Kollei herself was falling back with her retainers. The Prince and Farasha had fought to a stalemate, and while they appeared to be hurling insults at one another while Farasha flipped the bird, the Prince was hurrying to Kollei’s side. Even the Witch was falling back, though Theresa had landed and was being tended to by Armsmaster, having reverted to her human form. She appeared to be rather sick and bleeding from many wounds. 

Alexandria couldn’t find it in herself to feel pity for the creature.

Eidolon flew up to Alexandria. “Becky! You’re safe! What happened?!”

“I was trapped in a dream, but Kusinali let me out. But not before telling me a great deal,” Alexandria said. 

Eidolon shook his head. “Later. We have to pursue: We have them on the backfoot, and most of our capes are still relatively fresh.”

“No,” Alexandria said. “Come. We have something to do. Door me!”

A door opened in mid air, and Alexandria and Eidolon stepped through and into Dr. Meliton’s lab, where she and Albedo were peering through glass. Beyond them, in a tightly sealed room, glowing purple crystals hung over weeping subjects that had been strapped to tables. Human subjects.

“Oh! Madam President! You’re not cleared for-” Honey began, but Alexandria cut her off. 

“How many churls, skaven, orcs, and humans do you have ready?” Alexandria demanded.

Honey immediately brightened.  “No human subjects are ready, but we have 500 skaven, 200 orcs, and 100 churls ready!”

“I would caution against deployment,” Albedo said, coming over with a clipboard, his voice as devoid of emotion as always. “They are not trained, and would merely be distractions on the battlefield. The churls follow orders only 78% of the time, while orcs only obey 34% of the time. Skaven have a 50% rate of following orders, but only because after obeying the first few commands, they immediately betray either one another or the one giving orders.”

“We’re not using them as field units. Send small squads out behind enemy lands. Mostly over the Russian border: keep them away from our troops. But send them out, and start collecting data.” Alexandria walked over to the glass, and peered out. “Kusinali told me something.”

“Becky, are you sure this is a good idea?” Eidolon asked, taking off his mask and frowning. Where was his Geo Delusion? He usually wore it all the time. “I don’t like putting untested monsters out as booby traps. It will spread chaos, yes, but it could also harm our own troops.”

“A necessary risk. What Kusinali told me was this: The Abyss can kill Archons,” Alexandria said, looking out at the human test subjects as they writhed under the Abyssal light. “And it can kill Scion. We have our weapon. We just have to learn how to use it. Deploy it. We won’t learn anything keeping this locked in a lab.”

“Yes,” Honey agreed eagerly. “We will identify key targets and send in the Abyss!” 

Alexandria nodded and turned, only for Eidolon to block her path.

“Becky, this is a bad idea!” Eidolon snapped, anger in his eyes. His tone rankled Alexandria, as did his use of her nickname. “We’re creating monsters! Think! I created monsters, powerful ones, and they nearly destroyed humanity! What if we unleash something worse?!”

“I told you, David, that wasn’t your fault. That was Eden’s revenge,” Alexandria said, brushing past Eidolon. “We’re doing this intentionally. We can control it. We know the risks. Kusinali told me an entire nation was destroyed when they let the Abyss run rampant. In fact, she told me it killed four Archons before it was contained.”

“Four Archons?! Then this is madness! Becky, I-”

Alexandria whirled. “I am the President, David! I am in command! You’re traumatized by being a part of the creation of the Endbringers. We didn’t understand our powers. Now we do. Now we have a weapon, after all these years! One final push! One final round of sacrifice, and we can finally save the world!” 

“Or doom it,” David said grimly.

“It’s a poor weapon that can’t also cut its wielder. We just have to be careful. And we will be. That’s why we start small. But we find out what the Abyss can do. And then, we find out how to use it to start killing gods.”

“And Nahida?” David demanded. 

Alexandria hesitated. “If she can be saved, fine. If not, if she gets in our way…well. Then we take her gnosis and make our own god if we have to.”

David looked at Alexandria, then shook his head. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“Of course. I do too. But it’s worth the risk,” she declared. 

And so, the Last President of the United States sealed the destruction of her own people. 

Author’s Note: 

And He said to them, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven.”

Luke 10:18

Timeline up to Summer 2005

1999-11-02 - Raiden Shogun appears, fighting and defeating Leviathan.

1999-12-05 - The Senkoku Decree and Kamikazee, Raiden assumes control of Japan's government.

2000-04-12 Behemoth attacks and destroys Guadalajara, Mexico. Raiden does nothing.

2000-09-15 The Siberian kills Danny Hebert, but Hero survives.

2000-09-20 Danny Hebert's funeral. The Simurgh destroyed Davao City.

2001-03-05 Behemoth attacked Dire Dawa and mostly destroyed it.

2001-07-18 The Simurgh attacks Madison, Wisconsin.

2001-10-02 Venti arrives in Munich

2001-10-17 Venti destroys the Berlin Gesellschaft facility

2001-10-19 Venti and Raiden meet for the first time

2001-27-10 Venti arrives in Bremen

2001-11-1 Venti cleanses Dorothy and Geoff

2001-11-2 Venti meets with Legend and cleanses him for good measure.

2001-12-9 The Battle of Munich and the death of Khonsu, destruction of the Gesellschaft.

2001-12-20 Marriage of Naomi and Capri

2002-1-10 Wisteria Wedding

2002-1-18 Ishihara executed

2002-2-16 Japan invades Taiwan

2002-2-17 Scion destroys the Thunder Sakura Network

2002-3-25 Bailu is born.

2002-5-7 Behemoth attacks the Loy Yang power station in Victoria, Australia.

2002-5-25 Venti wins Eurovision, setting a new tone for European politics.

2002-8-16 The Simurgh attacks Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia

2002-10-27 Nahida arrives in Baghdad Iraq

2003-4-16 Behemoth attacks Botaga Columbia 

2003-10-27 Simurgh comes to wish Nahida a Happy Birthday. Saddam's government collapses. Dragon receives her Vision.

2003-12-21 The Tsaritsa arrives

2003-12-27 The Fairy Queen is captured and put in BIRDCAGE.

2003-12-28 The Tsaritsa attends the Nutcracker and declares herself.

2003-12-30 The Sleeper Awakens and becomes the Prince.

2003-12-31 The Terrible Tanuki Twins Stella and Caelus are named by Ami. The Witch becomes a Harbinger.

2004-1-24 Bonesaw emerges as the newest member of the S9

2004-1-29 Kenichi becomes the Prophet and arrives in the Republic of Korea.

2004-2-23 The Alpha Behemoth attacks Austin, Texas

2004-2-24 Rachel Lindt meets Taylor and Sarah.

2004-2-27 The Red Gauntlet betrays the Tsaritsa and the Servent becomes a Harbinger

2004-3-09 Rebecca Costa Brown and Wyatt Baronski wed

2004-04-28 The Tsaritsa rebuilds New Moscow, Kollei receives a Vision from Nahida

2004-06-20 Dalnim achieves apotheosis and becomes the Moon God

2004-07-13 Simugh V Nahida Round 2. The Simurgh receives an Anemo Vision and becomes Ziz. Her Fate is now written in the stars. She is an Outlander no more.

2004-08-15 Anatoly establishes a connection with Riley. She begins to have Dreams of Ice.

2004-09-08 The Dancer and Thief become Harbingers. The Servent becomes a puppet.

2004-10-27 The Day of Hope is celebrated as an international holiday. Nahida becomes by far the most popular Archon globally.

2004-10-30 Sarah Livsey receives an Anemo Vision

2004-10-29 Tohu and Bohu are created. Kyiv is nearly destroyed, and the Tsaritsa humbled.

2004-11-02 The Corpse of Eden is stolen.

2004-11-09 The First Sinner is revealed.

2004-11-16 Riley defects to Russia. Pater becomes a Harbinger.

2004-12-21 World War III begins with the Tsaritsa invading Poland.

2005-01-04 Amber is captured by Kollei

2005-01-05  Eidolon finds out Hannah has aborted their child. The Tsaritsa speaks with him.

2005-01-14 The Great Storm reshapes Europe, and the first phase of World War III draws to a close.

2005-01-21 Nahida makes the Hajj.

2005-01-23 The Simurgh Attacks Mecca, and dies, though the world is unaware. Ziz speaks with Venti's spirit.

2005-03-05 Lumine and Aether arrive in Japan and meet with the Raiden Shogun.

2005-03-27 The Hydro Archon arrives.

2005-03-30 Saleem Bashir is born to Farasha and Saeed Bashir. He is the first offspring of Shard-based life and humans.

2005-05-07 Furina "receives" a Vision.

2005-05-08 Helsinki Falls, and the conquest of Finland is essentially complete.

2005-05-18 Keith Jr. triggers, and Nahida makes friends with a previously dead shard.

2005-06-09 Victory Parade in New Moscow, and Bronya briefly reawakens.

2005-06-24 Furina is imprisoned by Iron Mask. A protest erupts, and Keiga intervenes.

2005-06-25 The Immaculate Conception (Part III) happens, and Diane de Fontaine awakens.

2005-06-28 Wyatt is sucked into the Abyss, and becomes the Second Sinner.

2005-07-05 The Behemoth attacks Indonesia and fights Tessa. Farasha intervenes, and the two barely manage to chase him off.

2005-7-15 Iron Mask is slain, and the Blasphemies abscond with his head.

2005-7-18 Aether and Lumine depart Japan for the Broken Land.

2005-7-20 A NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHES.

2005-07-20 Imperial Russia launches its invasion of Kazakhstan, and the final phase of World War III begins.

SOON:

May I Enjoy My Life: Entry 34

Entry 36, Day 80

I’ve never been a big fan of flying. Road trips are definitely my jam, as getting in the car and driving for hours as you listen to jams and talk with your friends is definitely more fun, though we did more of those when I was a kid. I do remember flying to Japan for vacation once, which sucked complete ass as it was a 12-hour flight. But breathing stale farts and sitting wedged in between two strangers isn’t my idea of fun. 

That went double for flying on Terra. My first flight had been under less than ideal circumstances, what with barely escaping Ursus alive, and then the layover in Leithanien where I almost died again…

I really, really hope I don’t almost die on the way to Siracusa. Or when we get there. 

“Uh, just asking, but there isn’t about to be a huge carnival in Nuova Volsinii, right?” I asked as we boarded the large VTOL on the flight deck. There were seven of us: Me, Suzuran, Ingrid, Lisa, Texas, along with Red and Rosmontis who would be tagging along in case we needed to murder an army or two.  

“Carnevale? It’s been banned for ages,” Sussurro told me as we walked up the ramp. We both had only backpacks with a few changes of clothes and other necessities, along with medical kits in case we ran into trouble, which given our track record I’m sure we would. 

“Funny you should be mentioning that,” Ingrid said as we strapped into the jump seats. “I have heard that Signora Sicilia has allowed the festival to return to Nuova Volsinii. This is, ah, what do you call it again? Weird alien knowledge, yes?”

“Uh, all I know is that Lappland decided that driving Truck-Kun into a courthouse wasn’t enough, and decided to crash the party,” I admitted. “Though if I remember right, it was so she could destroy Siracusa or something.”

“Really? Well, then, under ordinary circumstances, I would consider helping her,” Ingrid said with a chuckle. 

“Huh? Wait, you WANT to destroy your homeland?” I asked, confused. 

“Not a bad idea,” Sussurro agreed, which confused me even more. “Siracusa could use a good house cleaning.”

“The Famiglia are a blight upon Terra, and I say this as a member of the Venezia Famiglia,” Ingrid said with a shake of her head. 

“But, if Siracusa is destroyed, what would happen to Nonno Fabizio, Zio Antonio, and Zia-” Suzuran paused, her expression falling, and Ingrid gently squeezed her daughter’s hand. 

“I am forgetting my sister is no longer with us as well, Luce. But, well, it would be for the best if your Nonno and Zio were no longer wrapped up in the Famiglia. It is a bloody, disgusting business, and it is why Mamma moved to Higashi. Siracusa would be better off without the whole thing.”

“I forget, is the mission to destroy Siracusa?” Rosmontis asked, cocking her head to one side. 

“No. Not kill mission. Keep Bones-man safe mission,” Red corrected her friend.

“That’s right. Well, if you want me to destroy the Famiglia too, just ask,” Rosmontis said, taking out her tablet and reviewing her mission notes. 

“The mission is to save Sora,” Texas growled, lowering her hand from her mouth. Texas was nominally there as my bodyguard, but she was sitting in her seat partaking of her new habit, which seemed to be gnawing her nails to nubs since she’d already run out of pocky. “And keep Bones safe. If anyone gets in the way…use of deadly force authorized.”

Red grinned a slasher smile while Rosemontis just nodded somberly. Lisa looked uncertain, but Ingrid patted her hand. “Don’t worry, we will make sure your Nonno and Zio stay safe.”

“Yes, but mamma, I do not like it when we have to kill people on missions,” Lisa said mournfully. 

“It’s OK. If there’s someone you don’t want to kill, I can do it for you,” Rosemontis offered in a most unhelpful manner. 

“Crazy idea, what if we just don’t kill anyone?” I suggested. “Good God, I’m a doctor not- oh son of a bi-iscuit.” 

I’d nearly done it. I’d sworn my entire life I’d never say the stupid line. Stress really was getting to me. 

We were about to take off, when Kal’tsit approached the loading ramp, along with wooden packing crate the size of a big refrigerator with “FRAGILE: MEDICAL EQUIPMENT” in bright red lettering on it, being hauled by a couple of operators. She directed them to secure it in the loading bay, then stood before us, lab coat whipping in the breeze slightly. 

“Operators: Your mission is to secure Operator Sora, and, if possible, secure Operator Lappland’s cooperation as well. She and her new companion may prove vital in upcoming events. As such, attempt all means before engaging in direct action against Operator Lappland.”

Texas looked stormy and didn’t nod, while Ingrid frowned. “What has the Saluzzo bitch done now? I thought her companions were those thugs she hired to help her commit her little crime spree.”

“Oh. Uh, question?” I said, raising my hand. “Can I-”

“I am transferring all known information on Signori dei Lupi, and the specific Lupi Zaaro. If you have further insights to share, all Operators on this mission are given clearance for further details,” Kal’tsit stated as each of our devices pinged with a data mission update. “Additionally, for this operation, PTRS may be offline. Closure is conducting updates to the system in preparation for the refit and overhaul in Rim Billington. As such, local assets and data packets may be your only recourse.”

PTRS update? That twigged something in my memory, but I couldn’t recall exactly what. Maybe it was IS6 or something? Though that was the Sui if I remembered right. 

“I thought this mission was for James to meet my parents after we cleared up this misunderstanding with Sora and Lappland,” Sussurro said, folding her arms over her chest and frowning at Kal’tsit. 

“Meeting your parents can be considered a secondary objective,” Kal’tsit said, then gave a small smile. “If a high priority one. You have 13 days until the conference in Victoria. Arrive one day early at minimum for debriefing and preparation. I am dispatching Chief Medical Officer Warfarin, along with the study group, to prepare facilities and test subjects for you. As such, while in Sicacusa, you are authorized only a single use of the Oripathy curing arts, Operator Bones. I have set the release of your target on a time delay message to be received only after you arrive in Siracusa. The patients' agents will contact you in due time.”

“Uh, OK. Am I curing Lappland or something? I guess that might make her less crazy,” I said with a frown. 

“No,” Texas said, shaking her head. “She was like this before she contracted oripathy. I was there.” 

Kal’tsit continued as though I hadn’t even asked a question. “You will receive the information at the appropriate time. Should an extreme emergency take place, squawk code Skeletal Wings. We have set aside resources to respond in such an emergency.” 

Well, that didn’t sound ominous or anything. “Who’s in charge of the mission?” Sussurro asked. “Texas?” 

“Negative. Mission command is yours, Operator Sussurro. You are designated Squad Leader for this operation. All Operators are placed under your command and at your disposal. Though I suggest not abusing such authority in intimate situations.”

“She can abuse it all she wants as far as I’m concerned,” I said with my best shit eating grin, which made Ingrid burst out laughing despite her attempts to smother it and Sussurro to turn as pink as her fur and try to kick me, which didn’t work too well as we were sitting next to one another, and her legs are too short to reach the deck. 

“I believe this is a case of what the younger generation refers to as ‘TMI,’ Operator Bones,” Kal’tsit told me, though she had a slight quirk to her lips as she said it. 

Then, to my shock, she came over and gave each of us a hug. No, really! She lingered especially long on Red and Rosmontis, who seemed over the moon to get a hug from their mother figure. They even unstrapped to do it properly. I felt a little awkward, but it was like hugging my mom, actually. 

“Take care of Lucia,” she whispered in my ear. “And of yourself, James. And take care of my daughters. All of them. It is only at the last that I have realized how much I love them.”

“Uh, we’ll see you again in two weeks, it’s not that long,” I said, frowning down at her as I pulled away.

“Yes, of course. Perhaps I am feeling overly maudlin. Well, may you find favor in the eyes of Mr. and Mrs. Sussurro,” Kal’tsit said, then bent down and gave Lisa a hug, much to Ingrid’s approval. 

“And do I get one as well?” Ingrid joked, then hugged Kal’tsit and gave her air kisses. “I do not always approve of  how you have treated Lisa, but you have taught her well, at least. Is this mission so dire you fear for our lives?”

“No. I am merely ensuring we part on the best terms,” Kal’tsit said. She turned away, but paused by the crate, running her hand over it. She rested her forehead against the box for a moment, and I thought I saw a tear run down her cheek. What the fuck?

Then she turned around and strode away. The ramp closed behind her, and we lifted off into the air. I was concerned about how Kal’tsit was acting, but there was a more pressing thought on my mind. I got Ingrid’s attention, and she and I went over to a corner of the cramped bay while Sussurro and Lisa talked in rapid-fire Not-Italian that I couldn’t follow. 

“I have a favor to ask,” I told her, and Ingrind grinned and laughed. 

“Ah, this is about courting Lucia, isn’t it? No, no, do not blush, it is good! So, what is it you wish to know?”

“Well, uh, as you may have guessed, I’m not exactly from around here.”

“And by this you mean you are an alien from outer space, not simply not Siracusian, yes? Oh, do not squirm, I will not attempt to dissect you. You are doing the right thing by going to speak with her parents. Though I must confess, I do not know how likely it is they will be willing to speak to you, let alone give their blessing.”

I winced. “They not a big fan of the Infected?” 

“That is largely it, yes,” Ingrid admitted. “Siracusa, it is not so bad as some places I have been for the Infected, but it is still not good. Lucia does not talk about her home much, but I imagine they have largely cut off contact and will not see her. I nearly strangled my brother when he refused to see Lisa after she was infected. Luckily, our father talked some sense into him before I had to beat it into Antonio’s thick head.”

“Yeah, uh, normally I’d ask Texas this stuff, but…”

I glanced over at Texas, who had devastated her fingernails and had moved on to gnawing on a wooden pencil like she was a zalak. Was that racist? Probably not, they actually do tend to have oral fixations and chew on things. 

“But that wolf is not only a lesbian, but as tense as a gnawbeast in a tuskbeast den. Yes, she is not so good a source of information at the moment. So, what is it you wish to know?”

“Well, like…what do I even say to her parents? Do I just say ‘I love your daughter and want to marry her’?”

“That would be a good start, yes. You have a ring?” Ingrid asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Uh, no. Not many jewelers on Rhodes Island, and while I have some money, I’m not exactly rich and Sussurro doesn’t go in for the flashy jewelry. What’s traditional and affordable?”

“For you, a silver band with an amethyst or moonstone would be appropriate, I think. Classy and tasteful but not overly indulgent. You know her size?”

“Uhhhhh…”

“Of course. Well, she is a four, write that down somewhere. It will need to be sized properly, naturally, but this is easy. Do you know your size?”

“Er….”

Ingrid sighed and held out her hand. “Just give me your hand. Hmm, you have very big hands, like my husband, but your fingers, they are long and slender.”

“Surgeon's hands,” I said with a shrug. “Mom always wanted me to play piano.”

“I would say a seven for you, but usually the couple goes to pick that out together, so it is fine. Now, for the proposal, what are your plans?”

“Er, should we really go over all this now?”

“You have something else to be doing on a four-hour flight? No? Then, plans! You have them, yes?”

“Well, uh, I guess a quiet dinner with just the two of us…” I trailed off as Ingrid made a sour face. “No?”

“James, think. Lucia, what does she like? The quiet, soft way, or the big, loud, passionate way?” Ingrid demanded. 

“Well, she does tend to be pretty loud?” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. Actually, she was usually louder than I was completely comfortable with, though I tried to just roll with it. 

“So you make the big, loud plan, yes? You find the most prominent point in Palermo, and you take her there! You are having Texas ready with a camera, and there should be flowers! Roses! If you could afford an entire band, that would be better, but at least stand before the entire city and declare your love for her before you get down on your knees.”

“That…does sound like something she would like,” I admitted. “I guess I was more thinking about what I would like…”

“Which would be a private, quiet moment together. You have that after, when it is just the two of you. But Lucia, she is Siracusian to the core. She wants the drama, the zest, the romance! Is that something you can give her?”

“Well, yeah, though I’d say our lives have been a bit too dramatic, especially how we met,” I said, thinking back to not one, not two, but three death-defying escapes. I was counting Wei in Lungmen too, because he could have locked me in a lab forever if he’d wanted. 

Grinning, Ingrid shook her head. “Ah, an Emperor’s blade, no? To be young again and test my blade against one such as that! It would have been a good death…but no, I am old now, and I have responsibilities. Though I can see how most people would consider fighting one of the Demons of Ursus to be too much excitement.”

“For an entire freaking lifetime! Scariest moment of my life, after…” I paused, hesitating slightly. 

“After what?” Ingrid asked, her ears swiveling curiously. 

“Well, I was going to say after the time I got hit by a truck and died, but actually, I think seeing Sussurro get grabbed by those Tribly Ashers was scarier. I thought she was going to die, and that was a lot worse.”

“And you were not thinking the Emperor’s Blade would be killing her?” Ingrid chuckled. 

“Uh, honestly, I both wasn’t in love with her at that point and was so numb and frightened it just didn’t seem real. The Trilby Ashers were a lot more… visceral, I guess? That day had been great up until they nearly killed us, and seeing Sussurro in danger…well, it was sort of motivating to make sure she knew I loved her, you know?” 

“And you have changed your opinion on children?” Ingrid asked. She raised a hand. “And, be aware, I, at one point, was reluctant to have a child with my own husband. I have many enemies, and being pregnant, well, it makes one vulnerable. Plus, I knew that there was a chance the child would be a vulpo, like me. Then, my husband, he would see both of us die before he grew even a single grey hair on his tail. So I am…sympathetic, shall we say, to your resistance.”

“I…” Swallowing, I glanced over at Lucia, who was laughing with Lisa as she combed the girls nine tails with a brush. They were still going on in not-Italian, but I could tell it was some sort of girl talk. Lisa glanced at me and covered her mouth as she giggled, while Lucia blushed and smiled somewhat coquettishly. She probably had a pretty good idea about why I was grilling Ingrid. She’s pretty smart, and while we were being quiet and the aircraft was noisy enough to cover our conversation, Ingrid’s hands did half her talking for her. 

“I dunno. But Lucia really wants kids. Back where I was from, couples usually waited to have kids. There was no big rush, and, well, kids were both expensive and the world was getting a little overpopulated.”

“Overpopulated?” Ingrid gave me a mystified look. “The entire world? How is that possible? I have heard of a city plate growing overcrowded, but you just build another or relocate to one lacking people. How could a world run out of space?”

“Uh…well, basically, no originium, no Catastrophies, not many big wars, and, you know, no alien demons or Lovecraftian horrors of the deep killing off big sections of the population.”

“James, if there is a way back to this world, you take Lucia there straight away. Zanne e artigli, take my Lisa there as well! That sounds like paradise,” Ingrid said with a snort. “So, naturally, I assume you are either lying, it is not real, or there is no way back.”

“No one’s found a way back so far, and, well, I think I’m stuck here for the long haul either way. Lisa isn’t the only infected little girl, you know?” 

“All too well,” Ingrid said with a sigh. She eyed me sideways. “That said…what would I have to do to convince you to cure her? I would do anything short of take you to bed, that is not an option.”

I coughed and sputtered. “Uh, yeah, so. Frankly, do I need to? If she can master this new form of arts, she’ll cure herself.”

“It is too powerful, and too hard on her body. I would do anything to cure her, even still. She is a target now. These arts, you will need to spread them. For now, just knowing such power…many would kill or worse for it. It is a secret we must keep, at all costs,” Ingrid said, her expression dark. 

“Well, I think the idea is for me to keep this secret, aside from whoever I’m supposed to cure,” I said, my mind going to various Siracusian operators. There was Lappland, of course, but also Penance, who was some sort of judge, and Vigil, who was useless as hell in-game but was some sort of reformed mafia don I think? There were a few others, but I didn’t usually pay attention to that sort of thing if it didn’t matter in game play. 

“Yes, that, I wonder on. Kal’tsit, she does nothing for no reason. So, I wonder, who is it she sends for you to cure, and why? I am assuming it is someone of consequence, yes? A piece she can use in the grand game she plays with the nations of Terra.”

“I dunno. I just hope they’re someone worth curing. I’m not supposed to be picky about my patients, but considering what it costs me to cure someone…well, it’s basically my life for theirs. Someone like Lisa? Absolutely, worth dying for even. Someone like, I dunno, Lappland? I wouldn’t be so sure.”

“She is not evil. Only hurt.”

I just about jumped out of my skin, and even Ingrid jerked back as we both realized Texas had quietly moved close enough to hear us. 

“Rich words, coming from the woman who goes to Siracusa to kill that Saluzzo,” Ingrid said with a snort. 

Texas, who was now chewing on a pen lid, spoke around her latest oral fixation. Her ears hung limply, and her entire body drooped.  “Do not judge her. She was my friend. My lover. I saw her pain. Her rage. She wants to end the pain. For her, for Siracusa. I blame myself for what has happened. I knew me leaving her would hurt. It must have been too much.”

“Texas, you can’t blame yourself, even if Lappland has gone crazy and kidnapped Sora,” I said gently, taking out a pack of gum and passing it over to her. She grabbed it immediately, spitting the pen lid out, sticking on in her mouth. “Careful, it’s nicotine gum. Thought you might need some.”

“Thanks,” Texas said, visibly relaxing as she closed her eyes. 

“Anyway, I’m still not convinced Lappland would actually hurt Sora. Haven’t they met before and gotten along just fine?”

“Yes. We were not dating then. Things have changed.”

“And how long have the two of you been lovers? Since you first fled Siracusa, yes? The Saluzzos, they are the jealous types.”

Texas opened one eye and regarded Ingrid. “You do not like the Saluzzos. You are a Venezia. There is bad blood.” 

“And you are a Texas, and yet, I can be civil, no?” Ingrid said with a rather vicious smile. 

“I am the last Texas. There will be no others. I left the life. So have you. So has Lappland.”

“Has she, now? She plays their game, albeit in her own way. Or she would not send you such a message. You go back now, you are in the game as well,” Ingrid said, disgust turning her face into a snarl as she made a dismissive gesture. “Blood. Honor. Famiglia. That is what this is. You sleep with another woman, and stain her honor. So she demands blood in payment. It is the way of the Famiglia. The sword is the only language they speak, and blood the only coin they take. Columbia may be where you were born, but your blood, your soul, it is Siracusian.”

Texas turned maudlin again, chewing quietly on her gum. At last, she shook her head. “Not roses.”

Ingrid blinked. “I am sorry?”

“When he proposes. Roses are for the first date. To be secret. I give Sora roses. A public proposal calls for myrtle, orange blossoms, and red carnations. Then, you need to decide what sort of marriage you want: Do you wish for peace, or for passion? For wealth, for health, for fidelity? What do you treasure most? These must go into the wreath as well. Not a bouquet. It must be a wreath: to hang above your door on your wedding day. Must be before the wreath withers: Old vulpo custom.”

Ingrid looked at Texas like she’d just grown a second head. “I…did not know this. How did you learn this? Where?”

“I like flowers. Sora likes flowers. Can’t tell her I love her openly. Had to be a secret. Had to be perfect. So, I learned. Flowers are a language. Vulpo created it, use it. Keep it secret from famiglia. Now I speak it.”

Ingrid laughed. “Well! I suppose this is what I get for being a Vulpo raised by a Lupo with a Perro for a brother and a Kitsune as a husband. I was never learning this secret language. You, a Lupo, learned it? Is your Sora a Vulpo? She looks like a Lupo, but many hide it.”

Texas shifted uncomfortably. “That is not my secret to share. I am the only one who knows. She told me after our first time together. She…no. I can say no more.”

“Well, I shall not pry then,” Ingrid said making a consoling motion. “But, the wreath then, it must speak of passion, and of peace. She is the passion; he, the peace.”

“Uh, can’t we both be peace?” I said, frowning. “We fight too much as it is, I’m still trying to figure out how to keep that from happening.”

Ingrid groaned and put her head in one hand.“Oh merda dei signori,  you have not learned yet? No, of course, it has been only two months. My husband, it took him more than two years!” 

“Learned what?” I asked, feeling suddenly nervous. “Is it bad? I mean, couples fight, right? We make up, it’s just, when she yells, I feel my heart break…”

“She is Siracusian!” Ingrid exploded, her hands clawing at the air as I jerked back and Texas had a sword out in an eyeblink. “Oh, put that away! You, you are not understanding either, idiota Columbian Lupo! Where is the passion in your heart!? The fire in your blood!?”

“Mamma-san?” Lisa asked, calling from across the bay. Red had undone her straps, while Rosmontis had her head cocked to one side as if to ask, “Now do I kill everyone?”

“It is fine. It is like when your father and I have a discussion, and send you to the kitchen for mochi,” Ingrid said with a wave of one hand. 

“Ah. But, you are not going to kiss Bones-sensei, right?” Lisa asked, scrunching up her face.

“It’s fine, Lisa. I would kill her if she tried!” Lucia laughed.

Ingrid blew her a kiss, then scowled at me. “Lucia, you need to hear this also. Come over here.Texas, go braid your hair.”

Texas tilted her head to one side. “I do not braid my hair. I like it loose.”

“I meant go find something to do somewhere else! This conversation, it is private! And I promise not to kill either of them before telling you, and only if they really deserve it,” Ingrid said, making a shooing motion as Lucia came over to sit by me. 

Texas reluctantly got up and went over by Lisa, though she had her eyes locked on us as she masticated her gum.

“Yes?” Lucia said, then glanced at me with a bit of a smirk, as if expecting me to get an earful. Honestly, I sort of did too.

“You!” Ingrid said, and stuck her finger under Lucia’s nose, making her jerk back. “Are you a bully!? A beast!? A bitch in heat!?”

“I, what!? No, I-”

“Hey, she’s my girl, watch it,” I growled, feeling my own hackles rise. 

“And what if I call her a whore, a slut, a-” Ingrid paused. “Lisa, get out your headphones and listen to music.”

“Um, hai, mamma-san!”

Ingrid and I waited until Lisa had out her tablet and her pink headphones nestled over her ears before I leaned forward and growled, “Alright, listen. I am a reasonable man. I know you can kick my ass. We both do. But you call Lucia one more name, and you’re going to have to prove it. And you’re off the mission.”

Ingrid beamed at me, which wasn’t the reaction I’d expected. Then she turned to Lucia. “Well?”

“Ingrid, what is this about? Why do you pretend to insult me?” Sussurro said, her tail twitching back and forth as she frowned. 

“Was that the passion you want?” Ingrid asked, gesturing to me.

“I-” Sussurro blinked, then blushed. “It was…alright. You could have been angrier, James.”

“Oh, I’m fucking furious,” I said, struggling to keep my temper in check. That’s pretty rare, but Ingrid had got my goat, even if she’d done so on purpose. 

“Then why do you not show it?” Ingrid asked. 

“Huh?” I blinked. “I said I was angry.”

“If you’re so angry, why don’t you yell at her a little? Shake your firsts, beat your breast?!” Lucia demanded, getting a little heated herself.

I very nearly told her to calm down, but instead, I took five seconds while she started breathing hard, then shook my head. “What would that prove? That I can’t control myself? She’s a lady, even if she’s not acting like it. It’s on me to be have like a gentleman. Raising my voice would just be…” I struggled for the words. 

“Impolite, and make a fuss? Cause a scene?” Ingrid prompted. 

“Yeah, that,” I agreed. 

“Why would you not want to make a scene!? She insulted me, you are angry, you let the world know!” Lucia snapped, actually loosening her restraints so she could rise up on her seat to be at eye level with me.  

“You are being a bully again,” Ingrid said, this time evenly. “Do you not see how this wounds him?”

“I-” Lucia paused, and I got the impression she actually looked at me. Her ears suddenly wilted, and she sank back down, hugging herself. “I…I am a bully?”

“No, it’s OK,” I said gently, hugging her. “I’m sorry I upset you.”

“Do not apologize!” Ingrid snapped, and we both looked at her in confusion.

She sighed and rubbed her face. “I am no therapist. I am bad at this, I am sorry. Look: you two, you are from the hot, and the cold. My husband and I, it is the same. Higashi, it is very cold. They have passion, yes, but the passion of ice. Ice endures, and when it does melt, it can explode, but the melting is hard, and bad for it. Siracusia, he is hot. Near the sea, in the south. There are many volcanoes, and they erupt frequently. Not so violently as Higashian volcanoes, actually, now that I think of it.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m lost,” I said, and Lucia nodded in agreement. 

“Yes, sorry…” Ingrid tapped her chin, then spread her hands. “Look: you both, you need to understand. James, you are cold. You do not want to make a scene. You do not yell, not even when you are furious, yes?”

“I try not to. Losing control isn’t a good look,” I said with a nod. 

“Yes, exactly! Control! Polite! Do not disrupt, do not make a scene. My husband, he is the same way! When we first married, I would yell at him. Even throw things. Small things, so as not to hurt him, of course, but throw things.”

“She splashed me,” I said, blushing slightly. 

Lucia gaped at me. “A little water hurt you!?”

“Yes, it did,” Ingrid said with a nod. “No, not here, where you can see.” She put her head over her heart. “Here, where it counts. When you make a scene, even in private, he is thinking you do not love him, that you have lost control. He is cold!”

“Is…is that true?” Sussurro asked, tears filling her eyes as she turned to me. 

“Well, yeah, kinda,” I admitted. 

Lucia started bawling and flung her arms over me, apologizing profusely. At least, I think she did, because she was babbling in Siracusian and I couldn’t really tell much aside from a lot of “scusa.”

Ingrid gave her a handkerchief, and she wound down eventually. I felt really bad, but Ingrid got my attention. “This, this is how she shows she loves you, James. The crying? It is from her heart. She bares it to you, unashamedly. She shares it with you, so there are no secrets. When she shouts, she screams, and yes, splashes you or even throws things-”

“I do not do that, it is foolishness,” Lucia huffed.

I eyed her. She’d thrown paper at me, which I had been offended by. But I didn’t say anything. 

“Fine, you do not. But you jump up and down and weep and wail, yes? Of course, I do the same. James, open your ears and listen with your heart: she does this not because she is mad, though of course she is, but because she loves you and wants you to know she is mad.”

“And we can’t just…talk it out?” I asked, somewhat plaintively. 

“No! And you, you will yell at her! In private, only, but you will yell! I would have you practice, but this is not a good place, yes? Our therapist, he would leave the room and listen while my husband yelled at me,” Ingrid said, a distant and fond look entering her eyes. “Oh, after that first good yelling, that is when we conceived Lisa. It was wonderful!”

“But, I love her! Why would I yell at her?!” I gasped, rather horrified at the thought.

“So I know you love me!” Sussurro said, and grabbed my hand, placing it over her heart. And boob, so, uh, I squeezed, just a little. “Do you not feel my heart beating?! Do you not feel the blood flowing!? That passion, I need to hear it. To feel it! So, yell at me! At least a little. And, maybe…well. If you turned me over your knee…I would not be too upset. If it was the right time.”

I gaped at her. A spanking kink!? 

“Ah, what is that word my husband used?” Ingrid muttered. “My Higashian, it is not so good… Lisa! Qual è la parola per l'amante caldo e freddo di quegli spettacoli con le ragazze urlanti?”

“Intendi la Tsundere, mamma-san?” Lisa asked, moving her headphones off of one ear. 

“Ah! Yes, that is the word. James, you are watching the anime, yes? Well, Lucia, she is a Tsundere. Like me,” Ingrid said, beaming proudly at her mastery of weebery. 

Oh! My mind instantly went to Rin from Fate, and all of a sudden, I got it. “Wait, I’m being the limp dick anime love interest?!”

Lucia snorted with laughter and had to cover her mouth, but she nodded. 

“I am not thinking your sword is so dull from what Lucia is telling me, but you are not a spineless boy, but a man! Act like it! Have some passion!” Ingrid urged. 

“I, uh, I guess I can try that…if it’ll make you happy,” I said, taking Lucia’s hands. 

She shivered slightly, and pressed herself against me. “More than you can know.”

“And you! Do not bully him! Unless he needs it. Men, they need some bullying, sometimes. The therapist, he was not understanding this, but he is a man, also,” Ingrid said with a flick of her fingers. 

“Like a kick under the table when I’m being a doofus?” I guessed. 

“Yes. My husband, he is needing a kick or two himself,” Ingrid agreed. 

Lucia laughed. “Why else do men have wives but to tell them when they are being stupido?”

“I can think of a couple of reasons,” I said, then stroked her tail, which made her arch her back a little.

“Do keep in mind my little girl is watching, even if she is pretending not to. She is a nice, polite Higashian girl.” Ingrid sighed, then smiled fondly at Lisa, who was very studiously not looking at us. 

“I mean, I’m American, not Japanese,” I said, which earned me a kick. “Right, right. I mean, I’m Columbia, not Higashian.”

“The Columbians, they are loud, but they are too friendly, like a lost little beckbeast. The Siracusian, even the Vulpo, is a fangbeast! We snarl, we bite, even when we play. Can you handle this vicious fangbeast, little beckbeast?” Ingrid demanded. 

I grabbed Lucia and nibbled at her neck a bit, which made her gasp and slap at me a little, but I recognized that as her playing. “I think I can handle this one, if she’ll have me.”

“Is that a proposal?” she asked, turning her head to kiss me.

“Not yet,” I told her a moment later. “Gotta visit Palermo first. Though before that, we do need to help our own lost little wolf figure out a small problem with her ex.”

Though frankly, dealing with Texas and Lappland’s issues sounded way easier than figuring out my romantic life. 

Author’s Note:

This chapter brought to you by the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, and conversations I’d wish I’d had a lot earlier on. Please do not consider it actual romantic advice. 

The Second Archon War: Comedia Glacialis 22

Comedia Glacialis 22: A Mournful Duet

Looking down at the map, Kollei could help but feel cold. All the preparations had been made: the ranks of the Fatui were stronger than ever. Stockpiles of equipment, foodstuffs, and clothing were all well in hand. A new road, a six-lane highway, had been constructed in Volgograd, and then to the border with Kazakhstan. Georgia had already capitulated and agreed to annexation, her president now the Duke of Sakartvelo. Cathedrals and mosques were already being rededicated to the Church of the Frozen Heart, and those who refused to convert were slapped with heavy fines and had their citizenship stripped from them. Kollei had quashed exile and concentration camps, claiming that mercy would create more converts.

It had in Finland. More than 37% of the population had officially converted and offered regular tribute to the Tsaritsa and Kollei. She could…feel…their devotion. Hear their prayers. What her mother had prophesied was coming true: She was becoming a god. She wasn’t sure what she would be the god of yet. It seemed all that remained was to find what her Aspect would be. Something related to Love, surely, for she was the daughter of the God of Love. 

Her mind was wandering. Everyone in the room was looking up to her: The Five Harbingers, the generals, the ministers, the bishops and priests. All awaited her word. 

She nodded, and pointed to the border of Russia and Kazakhstan near Volgograd. It was a flat plain, with the former Aral sea barely a quarter of its former size. At least she could rectify that. “Begin the invasion. Do not stop until we reach Almaty. Do not halt before all of this region is once more the Kazakh Duchy. Glory to the Tsaritsa.”

“GLORY TO THE TSARITSA!” the soldiers cheered, and all saluted her. Bottles of champagne and wine were opened, and Kollei even sipped a little. It wasn’t as though the alcohol could really affect her unless she allowed it to. Her body wasn’t really human any more, and it would take a stronger poison than this to actually impede her. 

It wasn’t long before the Harbingers began to depart. The Dancer would return to Finland, where she would be conducting a Hearts and Minds campaign. Some of which would involve actual brainwashing, the rest of it would be propaganda and coercion of the populace into supporting the Tsaritsa’s reign. It may take a few decades, but the Tsaritsa was immortal, even if she still slept. Come to think of it, so was Kollei. Were the Harbingers immortal? Riley had mentioned that she’d slowed the aging process in herself and offered the surgery to her fellows. Kollei certainly wasn’t aging any more. Time enough for that later. Hah. Time. She had plenty of that now. 

The Thief was continuing to conduct operations against the enemies of the Tsaritsa in Georgia and completing the pacification of that country. There were still troublemakers, and they would be…removed. While Kollei was trying the velvet glove, some dissidents would simply disappear and never be heard from again. Russia was a big place. And Riley always needed subjects for her experiments. A few thousand could vanish easily. 

Riley herself would remain in Moscow, churning out more loyal servants in the House of the Hearth. No more would orphans be left to rot in the cold in Russia as Kollei had. There was a home and a place for all. And if you were a disobedient child, you would be reeducated. If that wasn’t enough…

Kollei stroked Cherie’s head, and the cat-girl purred happily as she crouched at the side of Kollei’s throne. She had a bow in her hair and ribbons on her dress; Kollei did enjoy playing dress up with her pet. And like a pet, she tried to treat Cherie the best she could. The girl had torn the throat of an assassin out three days ago, and Kollei had bought her the new dress and ribbons. It had seemed to please Cherie, though she was so devoted to Kollei now that even a kind word or gesture had her trembling with pleasure. 

“We go now to serve you on the front, your Highness,” the Prince said, kneeling before Kollei with the Witch. 

Kollei nodded. “I shall be joining you, my Prince. Together, we shall bring our foes to their knees without firing a shot or lifting a blade. In a month time, all of Kazakhstan will bask in my mother’s benevolence.” 

“The Americans already muster their forces in the mountains, and Kusinali has formed a new alliance to oppose us. Her forces began arriving a week ago,” the Witch said.

Kollei raised an eyebrow. “Do you foretell our doom, Witch?”

Yelizaveta gave a throaty chuckle and looked up, mismatched eyes flashing. “Not in the slightest, Highness. Only that it may take longer to bring the whole nation to heel. The West will fall in days; there is no terrain to stop us, and the enemy concentrates their forces in the Southeast. Such mountainous terrain will give us more trouble than the Finnish forests and fjords. And, there is an Archon to oppose us this time.”

“Buer is not a threat, not even to me. I could defeat her as I am now, my mother would obliterate her,” Kollei said with assuredness. “Barbatos was a victor in the Archon War. Buer is even younger than my mother, and completely inexperienced in warfare.”

“And yet, she has two dragons and has completely checked the Simurgh. We would be wise not to underestimate her,” the Witch warned. 

Kollei shrugged. “Then we will not. But my mother has decreed that Kazakhstan will fall, and then the rest of the wayward children who defy my mother’s rule. Or do you disagree?”

“No, Highness. Of course not. But I look forward to a protracted campaign,” The Witch said, a vicious tone entering her voice. 

“Make it short. Make it merciful. These wayward children are to be brought into my mother’s fold, that they might know her Love, and be blessed by her benevolence,” Kollei ordered sternly. 

“Spare the rod, spoil the child,” the Witch said, and Kollei sighed. 

“You two are my rod, yes, but do not slay the children to avoid spoiling them. Our goal is to preserve humanity from the Cataclysm that comes. Not to simply conquer or subjugate.” 

“As you command, so it shall be, Highness,” Ivan said, standing jerkily. His face was frozen in a rictus grin, and his eyes burned with the light of madness. He was at least part of the reason Kollei was stepping onto the battlefield herself. 

The festivities were cut short as everyone rushed to make final preparations. Kollei stood from her throne and left the building, Cherie following close behind, tail lashing as the cat-girl glared at everyone they walked past who did not immediately bow before her mistress. Kollei smiled at her pet and passed her a treat: not a chocolate or candy, but a bit of raw tuna, which Cherie hastily scarfed down. It was good to have such a loyal and faithful bodyguard. 

Even here, in New Moscow, danger lurked behind every corner. 

Once more, Kollei ascended to the top of the Frozen Tower, where her mother slept. She went and knelt beside the bed, reaching into the block of ice to grasp her mother’s frozen hand. 

“It’s done, mother. The invasion begins today. I depart for the front. I will retrieve Buer’s gnosis, and bring it to you,so that you can wake and rule again,” Kollei whispered as Cherie crouched by the door outside. 

You have done well, my daughter. Ensure that the children of the stray republics know my Love, and my discipline.

“We are bringing food, clothing, and medicine. I will also restore the Aral Sea, replenishing their water supply and their livelihoods from the fish stocks there. They will know that the Tsaritsa Loves them, and that it is in their best interests to Love and worship you. That only you can save them from the demons of this world,” Kollei said, frozen tears on her cheeks. “Just…just like you saved me.”

She had to cling to that. Yes, Russia had experienced much hardship. Even the Tsaritsa’s takeover had not been gentle. But life was so much better now, for Kollei, for Russia. Once Kazakhstan and the rest of the wayward children of the Russian Empire returned to the fold, they would be strong. Strong enough to face even Scion, King of Demons, and bring him low. 

Then, humanity itself would be saved. They would all be free. Free from death, from fear, from hunger and want. That was what it truly meant to be free. Not the anarchy Barbatos offered. 

After that, Kollei returned to her chambers and changed from her long, flowing white dress that she had been wearing into a pale blue tunic and skirt with stockings. Her weapon continued to be her mother’s scepter, imbued with the gnosis, which was mightier than any sword, or even those destroyed nuclear missiles. With it, she would engulf Kazakhstan in a blizzard through the Prince, and would create ice that would melt and form the runoff of the new Aral Sea.

After that, she and her retainers went to the stables, where her mother’s sleigh and its polar bears awaited her. The bears eagerly ate seal steaks from Kollei’s hand, though one of them got a little too aggressive and bit at her. Shocked, Kollei backhanded the creature, which broke the creature’s jaw and sent it crashing through two of the wooden stables, where it sat, stunned. It did not have time to rise, as Cherie snarled and dashed forward, using her own sharp claws to rip the bear’s throat out before picking it up and hurling it to the rear of the stables to bleed out.

“Highness! Are you hurt!?” Cherie gasped, sprinting back to Kollei even as servants fawned over her. 

“I am fine,” Kollei said, though she had to use Cryo to heal the wound on her hand: the bear had bitten her to the bone and taken two of her fingers off. All that from a simple polar bear, albeit a magical one that could fly. 

I may be powerful, but I’m not indestructible. None of the gods are. I suppose I should have known that from the moment I first met Mother…

Hand restored, Kollei bid farewell to Riley, who bowed low to her, dressed in the white suit she wore when she wasn’t in her workshop.

“Keep the people of New Moscow safe for me, Riley,” Kollei said, caressing the younger girl’s cheek. 

Riley nodded desperately, tears in her eyes as she clutched at Kollei’s hand. “Yes, Highness. Only…only come back safely! I will ensure that her Imperial Benevolence is well protected while you are away at war. Cherie! Keep her Highness safe! If she is harmed again like she was today…” 

“Y-yes, father,” Cherie said, shrinking back behind Kollei, face white with terror.

“You will not punish her. It was my own fault, and she protected me immediately,” Kollei ordered sternly, and Riley relented with a bow. 

With a final farewell, Kollei stepped into the Sleigh and took a seat with Ivan and Yeleniza, while Cherie took up the reins. With a flick, the polar bears lumbered into motion, out into the stableyard, then up into the ever grey sky. Closing her eyes, Kollei felt the wind on her cheeks, and checked her heart. She felt…nothing. Emptiness. That was good. At least she wasn’t joining the battle with a heart full of regret. 

She’d just had to betray everything she’d once loved first. 

Dead hulks lay covered in salt and dust, rusting away. In the distance, there were towns that still had some signs of life. Sighing, David turned towards them, flying over the arid remains of what had once been a thriving brackish lake, but was now a monument to man’s hubris and failure. Much like his own life. 

However, at the edge of the dying sea, there was new life. An old mudbrick building that looked to have once been a mosque was surrounded by a few acres of cultivated land, with children out in the fields. This was the place: the orphanage run by the Spider of Kazakhstan. Even Caulrdon knew little of the woman who called herself the Spider, only that she seemed to be in Farasha’s cluster, and while not as powerful as her southern neighbor, was still capable of burning nearly any threat to ash. Eidolon aimed for the building at the center, and set down just outside of it, which prompted several of the nearby children to run away screaming. He adjusted his Thinker power to understand and speak Kazakh. 

“THE RUSSIANS ARE HERE!”

“F-FATUI! RUN!” 

“I’m not-” David began, but there was a burst of flames from the building, and a moment later, a fiery spider the size of a large dog skittered towards him before resolving into a snarling woman with striking white and black hair appeared, flames coating her body and a scythe in her hands. Not one meant for war, just a farmer’s tool. Interesting. She had the weapon, and she was clothed in jeans and a worn long-sleeved shirt.

David raised a hand to block the scythe with his Geo Delusion, but the woman pulled the scythe up short. 

“Wait, you’re Eidolon,” she said, the improvised weapon still raised as she glared at him. 

“I am,” he agreed, feeling a bone-deep weariness. “You’re the Spider?” 

The woman drew herself up, resting the half of her scythe on the ground. “I am Örmekşi, yes. Call me Arlan. Why have you come? Are the Russians invading already? Surely they won’t be here for days or hours.”

“For you,” David said, and pulled off his mask to show his face. 

“Hmm. You’re uglier than I thought,” Arlan said. 

That stung a little. Despite her shoddy men’s clothing, Arlan was a handsome-looking woman, with darkly tanned skin, and that striking white and black hair. Her red eyes gave her an exotic air, though the Xs for pupils was a bit disturbing. She reminded him of…well. Of Hannah. Though she was a bit older, closer to his own age. 

“They didn’t hire me for my looks. We need you. You’re the strongest cape in Kazakhstan,” David said bluntly. 

Turning her back, Arlan looked to the children who had paused in working the large garden around the old mosque. The crops looked healthy, but the children were scrawny and filthy, with clothing stained and torn. All of them were peering nervously at Eidolon, most of them cowering in fear. 

“F-Father, um, should we hide?” One of the older boys asked, stepping forward. He looked to be about ten or so, and was barefoot like the rest, though he held his rake towards Eidolon like a spear. 

“Back to work, Mūhamed,” Arlan ordered. “The crops won’t tend themselves, and we don’t want you to go hungry.”

David raised an eyebrow as the boy turned and urged the others back to work, and Arlan turned a sour frown on him. “Do you have a problem with that?”

“Seems a bit silly,” David admitted, and the woman’s fist lit up with flames. 

“Then be gone. The children address me as Father. The fools in the town call me ‘sir.’ If you insist on calling me a woman, I will burn you to ash like the rest, or at least try!” 

A few gears clicked over in Eidolon’s head, and he winced. “Wait…you’re a man?”

“I…” Arlan extinguished…his? Flames, looking uncertain. “And what if I am?”

“Then I apologize. I was saying the gardening was silly,” Eidolon said, and mentally groaned. A few years ago he would have been offended to find a woman calling themselves a man, but now? Now he didn’t care. Even if he wasn’t going to embrace it like Legend would. Though it seemed their file on Arlan was woefully out of date. 

“Ah,” Arlan flushed slightly, then shook his head. “Well, what else are we going to do? Starve? I couldn’t give two shits about the Tsaritsa. I hate the Russians, but if my children won’t starve, what does it matter?” 

“Let me guess.  You found an Aranara,” Eidolon said, nodding at the garden. There was no way there should be that much green here. They had at least an acre with crops that weren’t even in season bearing fruit. Based on the soil and rainfall of the region, half the plants shouldn’t grow here at all. That, and there were at least half a dozen varieties known to be Teyvan in origin. 

“I…” Arlan hesitated, then shrugged. “I have not seen it. But the crops have begun growing. The children stopped getting sick. It used to be nearly impossible to get enough food to feed them all. All I could do was keep the children warm. But now? We could make it. If that frozen bitch wasn’t coming for us.”

“Well, if you want to keep your aranara, then you’ll have to fight off the Fatui with the rest of us,” David said grimly. “They’ll come here. They’ve already said they’re invading. That damn road of theirs is finished. They’ll come for you, and kill or drive away the aranara.”

“So now you Americans care. Now, when you want me to bleed and die for you like the rest,” Arlan said bitterly. 

Anger sparked in Eidolon’s heart. “Look, I’ve been all over the world, saving as many people as I can. Every waking moment for the past 20 years, I do all I can to save humanity. I’m sorry your little corner of the world wasn’t on my list, but you were doing a pretty damn good job all on your own.”

“Such a typical American. You think help means to fight? I do not need help with the fighting! Until now, I killed or drove off every threat that came! What I needed was food, medicine, water! CLOTHING! Look at my children! No shoes, only cast-off rags, and until a month ago, half of them malnourished! We didn’t need a hero to fly in and punch something; we needed what one of your supermarkets throws away every day!” Arlan ranted. 

Something broke inside of Eidolon all over again, and he staggered back. She, no, he, was right. They hadn’t needed Eidolon, creator of monsters. He’d been a hero for his own vanity. They’d needed a real hero: someone to feed the hungry, cure the sick, and clothe the naked. He’d never even thought of that. 

“What does it matter if we all die when Scion decides it’s time?” David gasped, clutching at his head. His blood ached, and he could feel his Geo Delusion poisoning his soul again. 

“Exactly. The Tsaritsa, she fought him. She’s the only one. Even the Shogun knelt to that monster,” Arlan snorted. He pointed with his scythe. “Fuck off. We don’t need you, big man. Yes, yes, you could give me medicine, food, whatever I want, if only I fight the Tsaritsa. Well, maybe she says the same thing. Maybe I serve her. I might hate the Russians, but who else has done anything for me and my children?”

“Kusanali. She sent the Aranara. She’s the real hero the world needs,” Eidolon said, feeling sick. 

She'd find you a wife, and a plot of land. You'd become a farmer, growing food to feed the world.

For a sickening moment, David saw Arlan in a dress, laboring beside Eidolon as smiling children helped turn this desert into a healthy sea surrounded by orchards and farmland. He shook his head in disgust, both at the idea of marrying another man and at being so weak. No. He wasn’t a farmer. He would be there when the end of the world came, and he would be the one to lead the charge against the King of Demons. 

Oh gods, I’m using their words for him now. And…and thinking in gods, not God. What is wrong with me? 

“Well, at least you’re right about that. Perhaps if you were recruiting for her army, I would join you,” Arlan laughed. 

“Ask her. She’ll likely find you a wife and help you turn this blighted hellhole green,” David growled. 

That brought a laugh from Arlan. “You’re doing a piss poor job of making your pitch, Eidolon. Can you offer me a mother for my children, and a promise to turn this barren land green?”

“No. I only have doom and destruction in my wake. Good luck protecting your children. The Tsaritsa doesn’t care,” Eidolon said, lifting up into the air and spewing the venom he felt poisoning his soul. “She has Bonesaw, you fool! The one they call Pater! That little girl will carve your children up and turn them into perfect puppets for the Fatui Warmachine, while the Dancer mind controls you into one of her puppets. She’ll probably make you wear a dress, I hear she likes pretty things.”

Then, Eidolon lifted into the air and sped away. His heart was pounding in his chest, his mind burning. That bastard. Turning Eidolon into a farmer, destroying everything! Now the Tsarisa was coming, and Eidolon’s current powers were nearly used up. If he called on more, he’d just make another Endbringer! He was too weak! He couldn’t, he needed-

Vertigo washed over Eidolon, and his eyes swam. He saw great shapes, colliding, stars exploding, reality bending and warping as it was splint and split again, then folded back into itself in-

The Cycle. 

Millions of pinpricks of light, spreading across the galaxy like a devouring swarm of locusts, swallowing moons and planets whole, they devoured and divided, they-

When David came too, he was lying on the hard ground. He’d fallen, but he’d had enough Brute power and his delusion so that he didn’t simply splatter. He groaned and sat up, clutching his head. What had…what was that? If he didn’t know better, he’d have said he’d had a second trigger event. But that was impossible. His shard was dead; he couldn’t have a second trigger. None of the Cauldron capes could. 

It was just the stress. He hadn’t slept in a week. The invasion was going to start soon.

“Door me,” David gasped, and a door opened for him. He stumbled through it to his apartment, and tore off his clothes. 

“Eidolon? Sir? What’s wrong?” his radio chirruped. Linda. Bless her, his secretary was monitoring him. 

“The Spider said no. Also, update his file. He’s a transvestite. Or whatever you call it, ask Legend,” David groaned, clutching his helmet to his chest as he flopped onto the bed. 

“That’s unfortunate. Will…he…side with the Tsaritsa?” Linda asked. 

“Who the fuck knows. I need to sleep,” David said, taking off the delusion and letting it drop to the floor. “Wake me when the invasion starts. Or better yet, wake me up when the Russians are an hour from the first fallback point where we actually put up a resistance.”

“Yes, sir. That’s at least 12 hours away. I’ll let command know you need some shut eye,” Linda said. 

David passed out. For how long, he didn’t know. His dreams were extremely troubled. He mostly dreamed of a dark egg, sitting in the void, a great monster within it. What it was he never saw or know, only that he was trying desperately to keep it from hatching, but every moment more cracks appeared and it rattled harder. 

He awoke, gasping, ten hours later. He checked in, and found that the Russians had indeed crossed the border. However, coalition forces had made the hard decision not to attempt to give battle on the open plain. Their first defensive line was around the Akmola region. The rivers and rugged foothills there gave much better defensive terrain which would give them a far better chance. 

Still, David thought their chances were slim. A howling blizzard was rolling through Kazakhstan already. What possible hope did they have? 

“Door me,” he growled, and a portal to Aqmola, the largest city of the Akmola region. He looked up at the sky, which was still blue and sunny. Still, a look to the north saw the rolling line of the blizzard approaching. He headed for the command structure, where the guards soon let him in. 

He stepped inside just in time to hear Hannah say, “I’m going to kill her.”

“You can’t kill her, she’s our ally,” Alex said, massaging her temple. They were sitting at a large conference table, with various NATO generals and a couple of other cape leaders. There were a couple of Kazakh officials, but half the table was empty and reserved for another party.

“She’s a fucking monster worse than the Tsaritsa!” Hannah snarled, and Eidolon groaned and felt as though he’d never taken that much-needed sleep.

“Let me guess: Farasha is coming,” he said, folding his arms over his chest. 

Hannah whirled on him, her face obscured by her new power armor’s visor. “That bitch needs to be put in the ground! Do you even know how many Kurds she’s killed?!”

“About 81,672. Not personally, that’s more like a couple hundred, but they told me eighty-one thousand is the estimate from the Anfal Genocide,” a somber voice said, and Eidolon didn’t have to turn to know who it was, as Miss Militia formed a hi-tech canon on her arm. 

“Well, then you can greet them in hell,” Miss Militia snarled as Alexandria got to her feet.

Farasha stared down the barrel of the gun, but didn’t flinch. Instead, she bowed her head. “You’d be right to kill me, I suppose. I’ve asked Nahida about it. If they’re going to put me on trial. I deserve it. Have nightmares about it, then and now.”

“And what did the little-” Miss Militia bit off her words as Farasha looked up, red eyes suddenly flashing.

“Ok, you can call me a bitch, or a whore, or whatever you want, but you insult my daughter and they’ll have to add another name to the list of people I murdered,” Farasha growled. Behind her stood several Iraqi generals, along with Theresa Richter in her human disguise. 

“This isn’t productive. We have work to do,” Alexandria said, grabbing Hannah’s arm and forcing it down. “If you can’t control yourself, I’m sending you back to the States.”

“I want to hear what Kusanali said first,” Hannah said, her visor raising so she could meet Farasha’s eyes. 

Shrugging, Farasha said, “Fair enough. Well, Nahida told me that I was a victim too.”

“Horseshit!” 

“That’s what I said! Just because I was a brainwashed little girl who was kidnapped and turned into a living weapon doesn’t mean I get carte blanche for genocide!” Farasha said.

“You sarcastic c-”

“I’m not being sarcastic! I mean it!” Farasha snapped, stepping closer to Miss Militia and sticking her face right against Hannah’s. “Yeah, I was tortured and brainwashed and whatever. I still killed thousands of innocent people. Well, tens of thousands if you count all the Iranians I burned. Doesn’t make it right. But that wasn’t all that Nahida told me, so listen up.”

“Oh, do explain why you’re not rotting in jail or in hell like you deserve,” Hannah said, lip curling. 

Farasha sighed and leaned back. “She said I didn’t get off that easy. I’m going to live a long, long time. Probably not forever, but at least a few thousand years, apparently. And I have to spend every single day of the rest of my existence paying for what I did. So yeah. That’s why I’m here. That’s why I have to put up with your miserable American hypocrisy. As if you haven’t genocided ten times the nations I have. Or did you forget Vietnam or Wounded Knee?” 

“Farasha,” Theresa said, coming forward and putting a hand on her friend’s shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah,” Farasha sighed, and slumped slightly. “Sorry. I was wrong. I know you’ll never forgive me, and that I can be, well, am, an insufferable bitch most of the time. Nothing I do will ever really make up for all the Kurds and everyone else I killed for that asshole. But I have to live each day like I can. And me rotting in jail or finding someone who can actually kill me won’t help. Because believe me, I have tried to kill myself. Doesn’t really stick. Shit, I’ve tried guns, poison, drowning, you name it. None of it works. I just murder another poor bastard and-”

Farasha cut herself off and shook her head. “Old me. Not new me. New me isn’t even a little suicidal! Most days. Anyway, it’ll make you feel better, you can shoot me, but then we-”

There was an ear-splitting roar, and Farasha was reduced to a red smear as the wall behind her exploded. Eidolon and Alexandria only barely managed to shield their own people as Theresa created a green barrier to protect the Iraqi delegation. And in the center, a panting Miss Militia, her alien gun steaming and smoking.

“-have to work together,” Farasha said, reappearing in a swirl of fire and butterfly wings. The blood stains ignited, causing the smoke alarms to go off and the fire suppression system to attempt to engage, though Theresa summoned some green script and shut it off before they could all get soaked in stale water and foam. 

“Hannah Jones! You are relieved and placed under-” Alexandria began, but Farasha raised her hand and waggled a finger. 

“Ah ah ah! I gave her permission. And can you really say I didn’t fucking deserve it?” 

Alexandria glared at Farasha. “That’s immaterial. She disobeyed an order.”

“Did it at least hurt?” Hannah demanded, her gun vanishing with a flash of green light.

“Meh. You get used to it,” Farasha said with a shrug. “You’re just lucky I don’t need to burn someone from the inside out to resurrect myself anymore.”

“You’re still dismissed, Hannah. We’ll talk later,” Alexandria barked. 

Hannah snapped off a salute, then stomped off. Farasha waved merrily to her, which only incensed Miss Militia further, though she restrained herself to flipping the bird before she departed. 

“Farasha,” Theresa sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose and causing her green-rimmed glasses to ride up her forehead. 

“Sorry, sorry. Anyway…” Farasha turned to Alexandria. “Now that that’s out of the way, you want me to stop that blizzard?”

Everyone in the room took a moment, save for the Iraqis, who looked rather worried another fight would break out.

“You…you can do that?” Eidolon asked sceptically. “It’s the Prince and the Princess working together.”

“Yeah, well, in case you hadn’t heard, I’m the Pyro-fucking-dragon, and Tessa here’s the Dendro dragon. Ever heard of elemental reactions? Like Burning?” Farasha said with a smirk, folding her arms over her chest. She was wearing her usual black and red robes, and had grown her hair out into a side plait. She looked, well, downright motherly. It was rather disturbing, considering her behavior. 

“And exactly what does it mean that you’re the Pyro Dragon? Are you claiming that you’ll begin distributing Visions?” Alexandria retorted. 

“Fuck me if I know. Tessa, tag in!” Farasha said, and slapped her companion on the back, which startled Tessa.

“Oh! Um, well, only Archons can distribute Visions,” Tessa said, adjusting her glasses again and flushing. “That, er, well, everyone knows, yes?”

“So we gathered,” David said dryly. “Continue.”

“Well, you know Mushu is the Electro Dragon, and Keiga is the Hydro Dragon,” Thersa said, taking on a lecturing tone. 

“We know they call themselves that, but not what it means,” Alexandria said flatly. 

“Oh, well, it means they, um, well, we, are divine beings with a great deal of Authority and Sovereignty over an element. There will be Seven Dragons, and Seven Archons. On Teyvat, the Archons and Dragons opposed one another, but here, we must work together to, ah, well…stop you-know-who.”

“Then where is the Cryo Dragon?” David demanded. 

“We’re not sure,” Theresa admitted. “We think the Prince may become the Cryo Dragon, or, well, we thought he would. But the Tsaritsa seems not to want to create a dragon. You see, Dragons will become just as powerful as an Archon and they-”

White noise filled David’s ears, and he stopped listening. All of his vision narrowed to a single point. A way. There was a way to become just as powerful as an Archon. To be able to fight against Scion on, well, not an equal footing, but on a level where there was a chance of defeating him. The Tsaritsa had come closer than anyone else. 

Your name will be synonymous with Traitor. The world will hate you. Your former friends, myself included, will try to kill you. And yet…you will become the Hero. The man who will hold the fate of the world in his hands…and choose to save it out of Love. Though it costs him…everything.

He shook his head. No, no, that was impossible.

“-use the Cryo Gnosis to create a Dragon,” Teresa finished. “Or a sufficiently powerful source of power, like a very powerful shard. Such, as, well…”

“Ta-da!” Farasha said, making jazz hands. She winked and raised one finger. “But! In case you think you can create your own dragon! Oooo, so sorry! Turns out you need to be an Archon to create one. There was a secret ritual and stuff with Nahida.”

“So she turned one of history’s biggest murders into a dragon,” David said, half to himself. If Farasha could become one…then why not the true monster in the room?

“Well, it was that or I go crazy and start burninating the countryside after I ate poor Papilio,” Farasha said, conjuring up an especially large butterfly that fluttered around her. “He’s still here, sort of, but he’s dead. It’s too bad, just when I was starting to like the little fucker.”

“And you’re just telling all of this to us…why?” Alexandria demanded. 

“Oh! Because I’m the Dragon of Knowledge! Which isn’t the same as wisdom. So, um, maybe this wasn’t the wisest course,” Theresa admitted. “But, if we’re going to be allies, we should share knowledge freely.”

“Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blahbity blah,” Farasha said, using her hands to make chattering motions as the ominous butterfly continued to circle her head. “Anyway, you want that blizzard gone, or what?”

“If you can get rid of it, we’ll have a fighting chance,” Alexandria admitted. 

“Perfect!” Farasha said with a grin. She pointed at the map. “Right, here’s how we do…”

Eidolon tried to pay attention as they went over war plans, but his mind was racing. 

A dragon. If he could become a dragon…he would have the power of an Archon. He would have the power to change the world. To save the world.

He just had to betray all he loved first. 

Author’s Note:

In real life, Astana became the capital of Kazakhstan in 1997. Here, the capital is still Almaty due to timeline divergence. 

Also, we’ll get the full story of Farasha becoming the Pyro Dragon in Mavuika’s chapters when Farasha moves to Mexico and becomes Santa Muerte.

May I Enjoy My Life: Entry 33

Entry 35, Day 79

When I was in high school, I had some close friends I’d known for a few years. My oldest friend was Manny, or Manuel Ortega. He lived across the street from me since I was a little kid. We did Cub Scouts together, went to summer camp together, and even swam together on the Swim Team Freshman year, though Manny quit and did track and field as he was a lot better at it. I had a couple of other friends, Bryce and Joe and a few others, but I’d drifted away from all of them, even Manny over the years. Didn’t go to the same college, and medical school began to consume all of my time, while Manny got married to a girl named Trisha he met at Texas A&M when he was 24. I was his best man, actually, but that’s neither here nor there. 

Point is, I hadn’t really had any super close friends in a few years. That’s kind of normal in medical school, I think? You’re spending every waking hour studying and doing your damndest to pass, and the hours you keep aren’t super regular because you’re doing rotations at the hospital and they can be during some god awful hours. I had one rotation where, between my coursework and my rotation, I was putting in at least 100 hours a week. I was dead on my feet when that rotation ended, and slept for like three days. 

So, it was really nice to actually have people I was close with again. It’s very weird I went to an alien planet and got super cancer to find love and friends again, but, well, I guess the trade was worth it? Aside from the originium induced nephrolithiasis. I think I would literally rather die than go through that again. 

Which, uh, is likelier than not.

I’m off track again, but I was sort of feeling pretty good?  My levels were really down, and I was hanging out with Texas in her room, having a couple of beers while she drank wine and just…chilling. It was nice. I’d come to seek her advice, explaining the whole thing with Sussurro, and she’d listened intently. Texas is kinda intense with everything she does, but that’s alright. 

“So, anyway, I guess I came to ask you if this is normal and stuff,” I finished. 

“I am not a vulpo,” Texas said, taking a sip from her beer and moving her pocky stick around her mouth. “But I felt…uncomfortable, not being able to propose to Sora. We have been together more than a year.”

“Wait, is gay marriage like, illegal in Lungmen?” I asked, slightly surprised. 

“No. Her contract. She is forbidden relationships. Ours is secret,” Texas explained, ears flicking in slight agitation. 

I smacked my forehead gently. “Right, yeah, sorry, forgot about that. This must be hard for you to hear me whine about having to propose to my girlfriend, and worry about having kids.”

“It’s fine. Your circumstances are different. Besides, don’t want kids. They’re loud, and messy.” Texas paused, and seemed to realize something. “I…do not know if Sora wants children. I have not asked.”

“I mean, you could ask her. There’s always plenty of orphans who need homes here on Rhodes Island,” I pointed out.

“Yes. Life on Terra is dangerous. But I do not think I would be a good mother. Sussurro would be. Sora would be. Not me.”

“I mean, you could be a dad like me,” I joked, then winced again. “Uh, sorry if that’s offensive, guess I’ve had one too many.”

“No. It makes sense. If Sora would be the mother, then I would be the father,” Texas said with a nod. She frowned. “My father…was not a very good one. I killed him.”

“Uh, fair bet you’d be a better dad than Giuseppe,” I said with a grimace. “Even if, uh, you’re technically a woman.”

“Technically?” Texas asked, raising an eyebrow and her tail swishing slightly, which told me she was taking this as a joke. 

“You’d have to ask Sora on the matter, but she seems pretty happy with the situation,” I chortled. 

“Mmm. I hope so. I miss her,” Texas said, looking down at her can of beer. 

“Yeah. I hope you get to see her soon,” I said, and took a drink. 

Texas looked up. “Do you love Lucia?”

“I, yeah, I do,” I admitted. 

“Then you should get married. It is what is proper,” Texas said firmly. 

“Yeah, but like, what if…you know…I die,” I said, fiddling with my beercan and looking at the lesions on the back of my hand. 

“My duty is to ensure you do not. I am good at it,” Texas told me. 

I couldn’t help my bitter laugh. “Texas, I’m not worried about being assassinated. I’m worried I’ll kill myself trying to cure someone and taking on too much originium, or just die of one of the thousand complications from oripathy! Then, I’d leave Lucia alone, and God help me, any kids we had! What if I die after I get her pregnant, and I never even get to see my own child!? Can we even have kids!? I mean, I think so, I hope so, but, I’m not Terran, remember!? And none of the R6 guys have had kids with a local, as far as I know.”

“Ah.” Texas and I drank in silence for a few minutes, both finishing our beers. Texas got up and got a couple more out of the fridge, passing me one. We both cracked them, then she said, “You should marry her.”

“You don’t think I’ll die?” I asked. 

“You will,” Texas deadpanned, which made me flinch. “So will she. So will I. So will we all. Everyone dies. No one knows when. So love her now.”

“I just…I couldn’t do that to her, Texas,” I said, feeling sick. “I couldn’t leave Lucia alone! Not, not like that…”

“Then don’t die,” Texas stated. 

“It’s not that easy!” 

“It is. James, I am an assassin. I kill people. People try to kill me. I do not let them. If I failed, Sora would be alone. You would be alone. Exusiai would be alone. I cannot allow this. So, I do not die. I fight. I train. I am perfect. Because if I am not, then Sora would cry. And I will not allow her to cry because of me.”

“Yeah, sure, Mary Poppins,” I grumbled. Texas lifted one ear slightly, which was the lupo equivalent of a ‘huh?’ from her. “Children’s story from back home, she was Practically Perfect in every way.”

“She must have been a very skilled assassin.”

“I…huh. You know, I bet if Ms. Poppins decided to ice a bitch, she could. So, just don’t die then?”

Texas nodded, and raised her beer. 

I toasted her in response. “Well, to not dying then.”

“And to Sora, and Lucia. May they never weep.”

“Amen,” I agreed, and we both drank to that. 

I mulled that over a bit, then grunted. “Shit, now I have to figure out what kind of wedding ring to get her and stuff. They do that here, right? Of course they do, Lucia said she wanted a ring on her finger.”

“It is traditional. As is asking her parents for her hand.”

“Well, apparently, her parents don’t talk to her, and how, exactly, do I conspire to go to Siracusa? It’s the exact opposite fucking direction of Victoria, where we’re supposed to be for a meeting in a couple of weeks. A pretty fucking important one.”

“You could write a letter.”

“I guess. I, uh…I guess I should ask Lucia about her parents, huh?”

“The information would be in her personnel file.”

“What, and you can just get that?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, right. SWEEP clearance. Uh, probably better to just ask her, right?”

“Yes,” Texas agreed.

We talked a bit more after that, mostly about bad anime, then watched a couple of episodes. Sussurro was going shopping with Ingrid, and, well, I couldn’t exactly go do that. So I’d told her to go have fun and I’d hang with Texas, who said it was easiest to guard me if I just stayed back at her room. Normally, me being in another woman’s room would have made Sussurro extremely jealous, but since Texas was about as straight as a roundabout, Lucia seemed to consider her one of my “guy friends.”

We were halfway through an episode of Vash the Stampede, which had gone from goofy screwball comedy to seriously depressing drama over the course of the past couple of episodes, when Texas’ phone let out an odd warble that I recognized. 

When your world is turning inside out

What do you think you’re gonna do?

Follow a dead end road, while I expose the truth!

I’m no savage, you’re just average!

I know that the truth's a lot to ask,

I’m gonna rip off that mask!

“Holy shit, is that Lappland’s ringtone?!” I gasped, jerking upright as Texas muted the TV and frowned at her phone. 

“Not a live call,” Texas said, picking it up gingerly like it was a loaded gun. “Too far. It’s a recorded message. A messenger must have uploaded it.”

“You want some privacy?” I said, reaching for my cane to haul myself up. 

“No, it’s fine,” Texas said, and unlocked the screen. A moment later, the message began to play. The all too familiar pale eyes and grinning face of Lappland Saluzzo appeared, nearly pressed up against her own camera. 

“Celenia, daaaaarrrlling!” Lappland cackled. “Guess who? It has been so long! Tell me, does your right thigh still ache? I tried to be gentle, but you know how I get when we play together! I still have the love mark you left me, haha!”

Texas’s ears flattened on her head, and a scowl disfigured her face. I felt pretty uncomfortable, but Texas had said I should stay, so…

“Well, enough about us, how have you been? I’ve heard some fascinating rumors about you! Only good things, which is such a disappointment. You’d think the daughter of the Texas family would get up to something interesting once in a while, eh? Anyways…you’ll never guess who I’ve run into!”

The camera panned to reveal a table set with candles and laden with what appeared to be a home-cooked meal. Though I hope someone other than Lappland cooked it: I don’t know that I wouldn’t trust her not to do something weird to the food. 

And, sitting across from Texas…

“SORA!” Texas snarled, clutching the phone close to her face, a look of pure rage on her features. “Lappland, I swear, if you touch one hair on her head, I will diu nei lou mou!”

Ok, if Texas busts out the Lungmenese profanity, I think she’s officially lost it. 

“Uh, hi, Texas!” Sora said, waving timidly. She looked very nervous and uncomfortable, shifting in her seat, eyes darting around “Er, this is sort of awkward, but-”

The camera swiveled away from Sora, and back onto Lappland. 

“-but we ran into one another, and I couldn’t help but borrow Sora while she was in town for an encore of her previous performance last year!” Lappland cackled. She winked at the camera. “Well, we wish you were here! Then we could have a threesome, hehe!” 

“L-Lappland! That’s not-” Sora protested from off-screen, but Lappland waved her to silence. 

“Anywho, I made your favorite, Pasta alla Trapanese! Sora seems to like my cooking better than yours, eh? Maybe I’ll steal your girlfriend, just like she stole mine! Haha! Well, I know you’re very busy, saving the world and all, but don’t worry…”

Lappland’s scared left eye was pressed practically up to the camera as she crooned, “I’ll take very good care of your little Sora. Her secret is safe with me. Ciao!” 

Then the video feed ended. 

I held my breath as Texas sat there, entire body trembling, gripping her phone so hard I thought the screen would crack, tail bristling behind her. 

Suddenly, Texas leapt to her feet, grabbing her two swords and then strapping them to her back. Then she froze, and spun, eyes very wide, looking at me with a wild desperation I never thought I’d see from her even as I struggled to my feet.

“I can’t go!” Texas hissed, running forward and grabbing my by the collar. She didn’t shake me or lift me up, just held on to me, shaking like a leaf on the wind. “I can’t go! I, I swore to protect you! Swore to Sora. I…what do I do!?”

“Slow down, are you sure this isn’t some sort of prank? Lappland’s always been a drama queen and a trickster, so-”

“She said she kidnapped Sora!” Texas hissed, nostrils flaring. “She had Sora! I thought, I thought she would never, but she’s deranged! I, I have to go, but I can’t!” 

“Slow down, it’s fine! You can go, I understand. Shit, I’d go with you if I wouldn’t slow you down,” I said, grimacing at my own feeble body. 

“No, I, I swore, I can’t…Have to be perfect. Wasn’t perfect. What do I do!?” Texas gasped, and began to stalk back and forth in her small apartment, tail bristling like she’d been shocked, gripping her sheathed swords in her hands. 

She suddenly spun. “You would go with me?”

“I, yeah, of course! But, Texas, I’m shit in a fight and you know it,” I said, feeling about six inches tall.

“Doesn’t matter. If you come, I can protect you. Keep my word. Find Sora. Save her. Prevent. You! You know the future. What is Lappland doing?!”

“Uh…” racked my brain, trying to keep up with what was happening. “I…hold on! Let me at least call Sussuro and Ingrid. Ingrid was there, in the other…timeline? Whatever, she was there.”

I grabbed my own phone and sent an urgent message to Sussurro: Texas having a panic attack. Need you and Ingrid STAT. Sora in danger.

A moment later, Sussurro sent back OMW. 

I sighed and looked up, then started when I saw Texas dig out a pack of smokes, and light one up, then start puffing away like a locomotive. “Uh, I thought you quit.”

“I did. Need one. Have to think,” Texas said around the cig, still puffing away. She had smoked the whole thing in just a few minutes, then had lit another when the door banged open and Igrid and Lucia piled in. 

 “Where is the danger? What has that Saluzzo bitch done?!” Ingrid snarled, hand on her sword hilt. 

“James, Texas, are you OK?” Sussurro demanded, coming right to me and grabbing my arm, concern in her eyes as she looked to Texas.

“She took Sora,” Texas said, and handed over her phone. Ingrid had to lower it slightly so Sussurro could watch while the short video played.

“I…well, it seems like maybe she’s just teasing you?” Sussurro suggested, and I nodded. 

“Yeah, maybe it’s just her sense of humor.”

“No,” Ingrid said, her expression thunderous as she tossed the phone back to Texas, who caught it one-handed, still dragging on her cigarette. “Give me one of those.”

Texas handed over a cigarette and lighter, which Ingrid lit and placed in her mouth, taking a long drag.

“Ingrid?! You, you quit when you were pregnant, 15 years ago!” Sussurro gasped, scandalized.

“I lied,” Ingrid said with a grim smile. “When I am home, or around Lisa, no smoking. But when I work? I need a smoke. And this is work.”

Sighing, Ingrid took a second pull, then lowered the cancer stick. “There is an art form to the threat. One that the Saluzzo famiglia are experts at. Lappland Saluzzo is no fool. She knows what she is doing, and how.”

“Yes,” Texas agreed around her own smoke. “She was very precise with her words. It was more implied. Subtle. But the threat was there. Naked as her blade.”

“The dagger on the table pointed towards Sora was a good touch. Classy, as far as extortion goes,” Ingrid mused, shaking her head. 

I looked at Sussurro helplessly. I hadn’t even noticed the dagger.

“I…yes, that is a classic sign someone is marked for death in Siracusa,” Sussurro admitted, ears drooping and tail tucked between her legs. 

Texas was shaking again, one fist clenched, the other pressing her cigarette to her lips. “I…I have sworn to protect James. To save the world. I…I cannot simply run to Sora. But, if I don’t…”

“The Saluzzos are rabid dogs. She has not demanded anything yet. But she will. If you do not give it to her,” Ingrid grimaced. “I could go in your stead, but, I am not in such good standing in Siracusa myself. And the war between Saluzzo and Venezia, it is well known, yes?”

“You said you would come, with me,” Texas said in a pleading tone, turning to me with desperation in her eyes. “We could leave. Now. Be back in time for the conference.”

“That…doesn’t seem like such a hot idea. Wouldn’t me being along just mean more heat?” I asked, rubbing the back of my neck.

Texas growled, slamming a fist on the table, but not speaking. 

“Where are your balls?” Ingrid sneered. “Are you not a man?”

I was about to tell her that I was a crippled doctor whose fight experience consisted of reenacting WWE moves with his brother, but Sussurro beat me to it. 

“James has plenty of balls, Ingrid! He embraces death every time he cures a patient! He embraced death for me, for Vigna, for Texas! So chiudi il becco! Santi e angeli, you are both thinking with your balls like hairy-chested men! Stop being idiots and use your brains like women!” 

Texas slumped in her seat and nodded, while Ingrid laughed. “Very well, piccola imbroglione. And what do you suggest? We cannot let this threat go ignored. To do so would dishonor Texas’ name, and be a risk to her Sora’s very life.”

“Simple. We talk to someone older and wiser, who has experience in these matters,” Sussurro huffed, sticking her nose in the air. 

“And who, exactly, is older and wiser in these matters than I?” Ingrid demanded. 

The door hissed open, and Sussurro pointed. “Her.”

“I have already viewed Lappland Saluzzo’s video message,” Kal’tsit said as she strode in, which made Texas’ ears lay back flat as she growled, baring a fang at the Director. “I have assessed the threat to Sora’s life, and find it to be minimal.”

“Minimal. When the Saluzzo bitch lays a bare blade on the table and points it at her?” Ingrid demanded hotly. 

Kal’tsit’s eyes flicked to the cigarette in Ingrid’s hand, then to Texas, now on her third smoke. 

“You both have stated in your health records that you have ceased to engage in smoking cigarettes. Comply, or I will be forced to amend your health records and alert Dr. Warfarin.”

“I am not scared of that Vampire-” Ingrid began

“-and Operator Suzuran. I believe she would be most interested to learn her mother has taken up smoking again.”

Ingrid grunted, but tossed the cigarette in the ashtray that Texas on the table. Texas puffed two more times, then put out her own cancer stick. 

“You could have just said you dislike cigarette smoke,” Ingrid snorted, but folded her arms over her chest. “Fine. So, you say we do not have to go to help Sora?”

“Risks are minimal: Less than 20%. Threatening Sora’s life is uncharacteristic of Operator Lappland’s psych profile,” Kal’tist said evenly. 

“Twenty percent is too high,” Texas stated. “I will not accept a risk profile greater than 5%.”

“Illogical, but understandable given your relationship to Sora,” Kal’tsit said. She regarded Texas, then glanced at me and Sussurro. “James, Lucia, how fares your domestic life?”

“I, uh, funny you should mention that,” I said as Sussurro bristled. “I, um, well, I was just talking with Texas about, well…maybe trying to get in touch with Lucia’s parents?”

Sussuro’s head snapped around, eyes wide, and her tail started to wag so hard her butt started to shake back and forth. Ok, that was adorable. Definitely made proposing worth it. 

“An excellent proposition. Very well. I am placing you on assignment to Siracusa to meet Dr. Sussurro’s parents,” Kal’stit said without blinking. “Texas, Vulpisfogolia, you will accompany them.”

“A weed? You give me a name from a weed?” Ingrid grumbled, but she had a smile on her lips. 

“Wait, what?!” I gasped.

Kal’tsit glanced at me. “You have limited time before the Victorian Conference. After that…certain events will be set in motion. Take what time you can for personal matters now. There will not be time in future for it. Additionally, I will be sending you with a missive for Lappland Saluzzo. I believe this particular message is in response to an earlier communication I sent, though I had not thought it had reached her.”

“You sent Sora to her?!” Texas snarled, jumping up, sword in her hand, eyes wild.

Kal’tsit gave Texas a mild look. “I sent your former employer, the Emperor of Birds and Beasts. It seems he brought Sora with him. It is well you should get a chance to speak with her, before the conference. I send James McCoy that he might pour out his heart, and establish a lasting connection to Terra. See that you do the same, Celenia Texas. For what comes next, we must not be unmoored from mortal concerns: rather, we must firmly anchor ourselves in our humanity, and remember always not why we fight, but for who we cannot afford to fail.”

“Well that sounds…ominous,” I said slowly. “Kal’tsit, what are you saying? And, uh for the slow ones here…twenty words or less. Please?”

A small smile tugged at Kal’tsits lips. “We fight for love. Go, and find the love you fight for. I will remain here.”

“Is this safe for James? There are many who seek his blood. Here, at least, we can keep him safe,” Sussurro said, clinging protectively to my arm and glaring at Kal’tsit. 

“The time when Rhodes Island is the sanctuary that shelters us from the Catastrophes of the world is ending. Already, one foe infiltrated us and threatened the life of Dr. McCoy. Others, more insidious by far, lie ahead. You will be in no more danger than if you remained here; perhaps less so. You will go incognito and officially remain here. Your party will be small: Only three others will I add to it.”

“That number had best include my Lisa,” Ingrid growled. “If this place is too dangerous for your precious Bones, then it is too dangerous for my Lux.”

“That is agreeable, four is as good as three,” Kal’tsit said with a nod. “I will make the preparations. You depart in lieu of our regularly scheduled Siracusian relief flight tomorrow morning. Make what preparations you require.”

And with that, The Hag of the Island just turned around and left, leaving the rest of us slightly stunned. 

“Well. I suppose I am to go and inform Lisa that we will be visiting her grandfather!” Ingrid said brightly. “She will be delighted. Just do not tell her this is a working trip, please.” 

Texas nodded silently, slumped in her seat as Ingrid touched Sussurro on the shoulders and smiled at her. They exchanged air kisses, then Ingrid vanished as well. 

I went over to Texas. “Hey, Tex. You gonna be OK?”

“Yes. I…I would prefer to depart immediately,” Texas said, breathing a heavy sigh. “But. A short delay to secure air transport will decrease travel time. Even if…I wish to be moving. I will…pack. Yes. Prepare. This must be perfect. Sora…Sora must be safe.”

“She will be. Her knight in shining armor and her trusty but bumbling squire are on their way to rescue her, right?” 

Texas frowned at me. “I am not Kazimierzian. I am Columbian. I am an assassin.” 

“Ok, yes, literally, that’s true, but you’re heroically going to ride to Sora’s rescue, right?” I said.

“No,” Texas said, and tears suddenly filled her eyes, and she hugged her sword to her chest tightly. “I am going to kill my best and oldest friend.”

“Woah, Texas, that’s not-” I fumbled for words, but Sussurro came up and hugged Texas tightly. 

“Idiota lupo. You won’t have to kill Lappland. You’ll see. She’s crazy, but not stupid. She wouldn’t threaten Sora, she likes her!”

“I…I just…I cannot lose Sora. Without her…I…I am nothing,” Texas whimpered, and I gave her a hug also. 

We sat there with Texas for an hour after that, until Sussurro administered her a sedative so she could get some rest, because she was way too worked up to fall asleep on her own. It was early yet, but Texas was going to need the sleep. 

We walked the short distance to our own suite, leaning on each other more than a little. When we were inside, Sussurro quietly closed the door, then turned to me and buried her face in my chest, holding me tightly. I held her, not saying anything, not sure what I could say. This was all happening really fast and seemed frankly insane. 

“Did you mean it?” Sussurro asked softly, which startled me out of my own reverie. 

“Uh, about Texas being a knight? Sorta?” 

“No, you deficiente!” Sussurro snapped, glaring up at me and gripping me so tight it almost hurt. “I am meaning, about meeting my parents. You are understanding what this is meaning, yes?!” 

Her accent was getting really thick, which was pretty hot if I am honest. 

“Oh. Well, I mean, I’m not going to have many chances. They might not even talk to me, but I at least have to try, right?” I said, bending down to kiss the top of her head. 

“I, yes, it is just…why did you change your mind?” she asked, sounding a little helpless. “You did not seem like you cared, earlier.”

“I do care. I’m just…worried. About you.”

“What, that I would reject you!? Haven’t I made my feelings clear yet!?” 

“No, it’s more…what if I die and leave you? If we had a kid, and I never got to see them grow up, left you as a single mom…that’d be a real dick move, huh?”

“Then don’t you dare die,” Sussurro said, and kissed me. Then she pinched me, hard. “Or I’ll kill you myself! Especially after introducing you to my parents!” 

“Well, they’re not in…uh, what city are we going to, anyway?” I asked, realizing I had no idea what city Il Siracusano and I Portatori dei Velluti took place in. “Not Palermo, right?”

“It is Volsinii. Don’t you and Texas ever talk?” Sussurro asked, sounding half exasperated, half amused. 

“Mostly about anime.”

“Men. And I am including that idiota lupo in that. It is good you are so tall and handsome, or I would have no use for you,” Sussurro told me, and kissed me again. 

She nearly knocked me over, actually, and I had to stagger over to the couch. I sat her down on my lap and kissed her again, and things got heated, fast. Apparently, she rather liked that I was going to go talk to her parents. After we dealt with the little mess Lappy the Unemployed had made. 

“Mmm, wait here, I’ll get the condoms,” Sussurro gasped after we’d tossed our clothes about with reckless abandon. 

I considered that, then pulled her closer. “Let’s not. Maybe we’ll have a surprise for your parents when we meet them.”

“I, James, you-” Sussurro growled and bit me on the neck. I bit her back, just a little. 

We didn’t get a lot of sleep that night, especially not on the couch, as I was too tired to bother getting up to go to bed, and Sussurro was content to sleep on top of me. When I did however, I dreamed of Sussurro holding a little pink-furred baby, with cute little ears. 

Maybe Kal’tsit was right. You just had to find what you loved, and decide it was worth fighting for. 

Dark Legend of Potter: Chapter 73

Heart thundering in his chest, Kazuma dove as fast as he could for the pitch. This time, Cedric Diggory was a tad slow on following after him. He’d nearly fallen for the first Wronksi Feint, but after Kazuma had done it twice more, he was a bit reluctant, but still determined not to let the game end in total failure for Hulfflepuff.

The problem was, this time, Kazuma wasn’t feigning. Ginny had her massive 250 point lead, as the game was 420-170, so it was actually time for Kazuma to catch the snitch. He raced for the flickering bit of gold, and could feel Cedric hot on his tail. A Bludger whizzed toward Kazuma’s head from across the field, but Dust dove in and deflected it. 

In the end, it was almost too easy. 

“He’s done it! Kazuma ‘Lucky Bastard’ Crabb has caught the snitch! The final score is 570-170! A massive, 400-point lead! With this, Slytherin secures the Quidditch cup!”

Pride swelled in Kazuma’s chest, only for a ginger blur to zoom out of the sky and tackle him right off his broom. The wind was knocked right out of his chest as Ginny landed on him, and for a moment, Kazuma thought his adopted little sister was out to murder him as tears streaked down her reddened face.

Then, he realized she was laughing as well as crying, hugging him tightly, a manic grin on her face. 

“We did it! Onii-chan, we did it! I’m the youngest Quidditch captain ever to win the cup!” Ginny gasped, clinging to Kazuma like a limpet as the rest of the team swooped down.

“Uh, isn’t Graham technically team captain?” Kazuma pointed out.

Ginny’s eyes flashed. “That’s not what it will say on the trophy. I’ll make sure of it. Right, Graham?”

“Of course, Captain,” Graham agreed amicably. 

“Three cheers for Captain Ginny!” Dust said, even as the Slytherin students began to rush the pitch. Ginny was hoisted up onto the team's shoulders as the Slytherins started in on “Weasley is Our Queen.” 

“Oi, buzz of, Gryf!” Lucian called, but Ron, Fred, and George (or possibly George and Fred) shoved passed him. For a moment, Ginny just glared down at her three brothers until Ron grinned and gave her a thumbs-up. 

“Congrats, Gin-gin! Guess if anyone has to win it from us, we’d want it to be you,” Fred said, and passed up a homemade crown. It was enchanted to have a green serpent coiled around the sparkling golden brim, and shot off green sparklers that formed the words “Weasley is Our Queen” when she placed it on her head. 

Tears filled Ginny’s eyes again, and she hopped down to hug her three fake brothers. Or, well, fake as Kazuma was concerned. Then Kazuma was forced to lift Ginny up along with Ron. He glared at his rival, but Ron didn’t seem to notice or care. Just as long as he understood that Ginny was Kazuma’s imoto, and not his. 

After that, Ginny’s parents were there, of course, each of them enthusiastically congratulating their youngest daughter on her first Quidditch title. For a blissful hour, Kazuma and the rest of the Slytherin Quidditch team were on top of the world, save for one member. 

For some reason, Marcus Flint found the entire situation darkly hilarious. “Oh, you’re in for it now, Weasley! Haha, hope you’ve got a hidey hole prepared,” Marcus wheezed.

“Stuff it, Marcus! You’re just jealous!” Draco said, red-faced as he waved excitedly at his and Kazuma’s parents. 

“Oh, I wouldn’t be jealous of where you’re at, haha! Shouldn’t have gotten so damn greedy!” Marcus laughed, then staggered off as other Slytherins angrily shoved him away.

“Ignore him, Ginny, he’s just jealous,” Kazuma told his captain.

“The git wishes he was half as good a captain as you!” Ron assured Ginny, who grinned and nodded. 

The celebration lasted for several hours, with a grand banquet laid out not in the dungeon, but in the very Chamber of Secrets itself. Vanir the barman served mocktails and butterbeer, generously paid for by Ginny and the Slytherin Quidditch team out of their “House Points Slush Fund.” Food was laid out by Wiz the I’m-Definitely-Twenty-Why-Do-You-Ask, a grand spread of baked goods, fried meats, and sandwiches that kept the teens and tweens fully fueled for hours.

Even Professor Snape made an appearance, looking smug as usual, but without the aftertaste of sourness that usually marred his features. 

“Excellent work today, Miss Weasley,” he said, gravely shaking a beaming Ginny’s hand. “You’ve once more secured my comfort in the staff lounge for the next year. I trust I will not regret handing you the captainship for many years to come.”

“No sir! Six straight years of Slytherin wins!” Ginnny vowed. 

“BWAHAHAHAHA! Ah, the sweetness of victory! And yet, such sweet fruit can lead to an upset stomach for the scheming young woman who was born a lion, but became the truest of snakes,” Vanir cackled. 

“Oh, be nice, Vanir. Let Kazuma and Dust enjoy their victory with Ginny!” Wiz urged. 

“Yet it is a drunkenness born of ignorance! Mine all-seeing eye sees even now her doom approaching!” Vanir sniggered. 

“Oh, stuff it mask face, and get me another Celestina Warbeck!” Ginny ordered.

Vanir went back to making drinks, still sniggering to himself.

“Here is thy drink,” Vanir said, setting the green foaming mocktail in front of Ginny. “And, thy creditors.”

“Creditors?” Ginny asked, even as half a dozen Hufflepuffs and a dozen Ravenclaws pushed their way into the Chamber of Secrets. 

“There she is! GET HER!” one of the Ravenclaws shouted. 

The Slytherins quickly moved to intercept, even as Flint started laughing uproariously again and pounding the counter. Ginny watched in smug satisfaction as her minions held off the attack, until something one of them said made her blood run cold:

“We don’t have a rats ass about Quidditch, we want our money back!” one of the Ravenclaws bellowed. “Let us through, or we’re exposing the whole thing!” 

“Oh. Bugger,” Draco muttered, and Kazuma could only nod. 

“Ginny? You OK?” Dust asked. “You went pale.”

“Shut up and follow me!” Ginny ordered, and sprinted forward, squirming her way through the brawling students. “It’s alright, everyone! Um, I, er, need to have a talk with these fine people!” 

“What? But, why?” one of the dumber Slytherins said.

Ginny frantically glanced over at Snape. To her horror, he met her eyes, lifted his drink in toast to her, and took a slow slip. She could have sworn his lips moved and said, “Come home to roost.”

“Where’s our money!?” one of the Ravenclaws said, and roughly tried to grab hold of Ginny, only for Dust to slap their hand away and get right in their face. Despite the fact that it was a sixth year, Dust was nearly as tall as they were at only 13, not to mention he had an athletes build. Ginny reflected that in a few years Dust was going to be a giant, but set that aside.

“Right this way, everyone, and we’ll be certain to hear all your concerns!” Ginny said quickly, then led the irate crowd away from the party and into one of the private back rooms. It was rather crowded, with the angry Hufflepuffs and Ravensclaws pressing in on Ginny and her minions to the point that not even Dust could keep them off without starting a melee. 

“Everyone, um, please, calm down, and, er, just what is it that the House Points Fraud Protection Committee can do for you all?” Ginny said brightly. 

A Ravenclaw girl by the name of Tulip Karasu elbowed her way forward and glared at Ginny. “We’ve done the maths, and with your win today, you’ve erased all the points we’ve paid for!”

“What?” Ginny blinked, confused. “We did arrange for you to get those points, Tulip.”

“Yes!” A Hufflepuff boy named Nitin Divekar snapped. “But then you went and earned 570 points today! You’re going to win the House Cup AND the Quidditch Cup!”

“I, er, well, I’m sure we can find a way to lose…six…hundred…points…uh, over the next two months,” Ginny said, forcing a grin onto her face. 

“You’d better! Because if you don’t, we’re exposing your little racket, Weasley!” Tupil threatened. “This was going to be the year that Ravenclaw won the House Cup at last!” 

“No, it was going to be Hufflepuff!” Nitin shouted, and that started an entirely new row, with Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff at one another’s throats. 

“Uh, I’m sure we could offer you all a discount-” Kazuma began, only for the whole lot to round on him. 

“WE WANT A REFUND!” someone shouted, and the chant was taken up. “REFUND! REFUND! REFUND!” 

“Um, we’ll see about losing the House Cup, and um, discounting any future purchases,” Ginny said breathlessly. “Next year! I mean next year!” 

“You’d better, Weasley, or we’ll see you hang!” Nitin vowed, and then the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs stormed out, still in a towering fury. 

Ginny and her minions watched them go, all four of them wide-eyed and panting. 

“How the hell do we get ourselves out of this?” Kazuma muttered, scrubbing his hands through his messy brown hair. 

“A most impressive performance,” a silky voice drawled, and the four children jumped and spun as Snape stepped out of a shadow. 

“P-Professor! Um, they just, they wanted to, er, wish us well,” Ginny stammered, eyes shifting and sweat dripping down her brow. 

“Oh, of course,” Snape said, a sinister gleam in his eyes. He trailed his right hand over the shoulders of all four children, who stood up as straight as they could, frozen in terror. “I wanted to… congratulate…you all.”

“S-sir?” Dust stammered. 

“On the game, of course. Shame that it has come to an end, but all games must end,” Snape said, coming to stand before his four snakes. “For your actions, I am afraid you have not been adequately…compensated.”

Snape gave a vicious smile at his trembling students, then said, “Fifty points to Slytherin.”

“NooooooOOooooo!” his victims wailed, and Draco fell to his knees, clutching his head, while Kazuma put his head in his hands and sobbed.

“S-sir, you, um, shouldn’t. We…we haven’t done anything to deserve um, such…rewards,” Ginny managed, her left eye twitching horrifically. 

“Oh, I think you have. This was a most…entertaining party.” Snape stepped forward, and the four fools cowered in terror. “Only a fool bets against Slytherin. And it would take a monstrous moron to bet against their own house. I will have the Quidditch Trophy and the House Cup on my desk at the end of term. I will not be thwarted by some petty scheme, especially not hatched by my own serpents. Whatever comes…take this as a lesson: Do not conspire against your own house. We have…ways…of policing our own.”

With that, Snape stalked off, leaving the four idiots in utter disarray. 

“We’re dead. Just…completely dead,” Draco groaned. “Father will disown me. I…I’ll have to live with the House Elves! Get a job cleaning chimneys and cooking!” 

“Oh shut up, it won’t be that bad. For you. Me they’ll kick right out,” Kazuma muttered. 

“My mum is going to skin me alive and turn me into a Howler!” Ginny moaned. 

Dust nodded somberly. “We could run away, live in the Forbidden Forest. Centaurs aren’t such bad blokes.”

They all seemed to be considering that, when suddenly, a spotlight came on in the bar, and a big swing band began to play, with Vanir wailing away on the saxophone. The four slowly crept forward, drawn by the music. Vanir lowered the Saxophone, and red eyes glowed behind his black and white mask as he crooned. 

 Ahh, my poor little schemers, what a tragic affair—
You sold house points for a pittance so small,
And now you’re caught in your own snare!

But worry not! You’ve got friends!

Friends on the Other Side.

The band, composed of Vanir dolls, played along as Wiz stepped forward in a glittering purple cocktail dress and crooned into a microphone, 

Oooo, detention! Expulsion!
Master of dungeons is on patrol!
You’ve lost your luck, your pride,
but your friends can make you whole!

Kazuma looked around, blinking. The other Slytherins were sitting at tables, but they looked glassy-eyed, as if hypnotised. Maybe it was the late hour. Perhaps it was the music played by the legions of hell. Or, maybe it was just how much cleavage Wiz was showing and how her dress clung to her.

Stepping forward, Vanir bowed, a wide grin on his face as he continued his song, the band playing furiously. 

I’m Vanir, Duke of Doom and Delight,
I traffic in contracts, not mortal fright!
I see your panic, your trembling hands…
And I have a deal that fits just right!

Vanir snapped his fingers, and four parchments appeared in his hands as a table with a white dinner cloth on top and four chairs appeared, forcing the four Slytherins to sit down as Vanir placed the contracts in front of them, along with what Kazuma recognized as four Blood Quills. 

A little ink, a tiny vow—
no fuss, no muss, no how.
You get your plans restored today,
I just need a lean on your soul for now!

Wiz grinned, and leaned forward, singing again as she swayed back and forth. 

Sign on the line!
We’re your friends on the other side!
Just a temporary mortgage

 There’s nothing to hide!

With trembling hand, Kazuma reached for the quill, looking at the wide eyes of the others. Was this their way out? Vanir massaged Ginny’s shoulders, while a pair of Vanir dolls one atop the other, did the same for the three boys. 

Ginny, no tears, just quills and cheer!
Kazuma, you’ve conned for less, my dear.
Draco, Dust—oh, partners in grime,
A lifetime’s cheap at a hellish dime!

What other choice did they have? Kazuma lifted the pen, looking down at the contract. 

So what do you say, my clever crew?
A signature’s all you have to do!
No rules, no risk, no teachers to chide…
Just me, my friends,
and your souls—on the other side!

Just as Kazuma was about to touch quill to parchment, the door to the Chamber of Secrets was kicked in, and a silver and blue light blinded him. 

“GOD BLOW!” 

“WIRE TORNADO!” 

The band dissolved into squeals as wires wrapped about all of them, save for Wiz, who squeaked and dropped the microphone. A glowing fist of power took Vanir square on the chin, as a furious Aqua hit him with a Shoryuken God Blow that dissolved the demon’s body to dust, his mask clattering to the floor. He reformed, rising up in a fury. 

“You damned goddesses of comedy with no timing! Moi-”

Two silver daggers from Chris stabbed Vanir right in the chest, causing him to dissipate once more. 

“NO STEALING OUR CHAMPIONS!” Chris raged. 

Vanir popped back into existence, his eyes glowing. “VANIR STYLE BEAM CANNON!” 

The lasers were deflected by a blue barrier conjured by Aqua, and Chris vanished for a moment, only to shadow step behind Vanir and backstab him again. The furious woman whirled on Wiz. “We trusted you! How could you!” 

“I, I- h-he promised I could have Kazuma’s soul, a-and he could marry me for once!” Wiz said, tears filling her eyes. “It’s not fair! He gets to marry all the other girls and have families with them! Even Claire and Rain!” 

“Ugh, that was a disaster of a reincarnation cycle,” Aqua muttered, then smashed her fist back into a reforming Vanir and sent him back into a puddle of dirt. “Seriously, Wiz, you can’t just take a man’s soul to marry him!”

“She can take anything of mine! Have my babies, Miss Wiz!” one of the Slytherin boys called, which only made her burst into tears. 

“Hey! Be sensitive here!” Aqua snapped. “Five points from Slytherin!”

“Oh, thank God,” Kazuma groaned, slumping in his seat. 

“”You’re welcome!”” Chris and Aqua said together. 

“Hmph. What of the ginger and the cretinous silver-spooned boy? Thou hast no contracts with them,” Vanir grumbled, finally able to reform without being smited. 

“Ginny, Draco, no selling your souls to demons! If you do, I’ll tell your parents, and you’ll be grounded for nearly as long as you’d be in hell!” Aqua vowed. 

“We’ll give you a MUCH better deal,” Chris promised. “Especially if you join the Eris Cult! We actually DO have a prosperity gospel, unlike those posers in Texas!” 

“No! They’re joining the Axis Cult! They’re mine!” Aqua argued. 

“They were signing contracts with moi!” Vanir snarled, and the conflict turned into a mêlée à trois that shook the bar and sent of explosions of infernal and holy power that threatened to knock the castle itself down. 

Which was when Headmaster Dumbledore appeared as if from nowhere, wand in hand. With a wave of his wand, he petrified Aqua and sent her clattering to the ground as a statue. He unsealed an ancient Ming Vase, and with a spoken word of command, sucked Vanir mask and all into the vessel. For Chris, he turned her wires back against her, complete with gag. 

For a moment, no one spoke, everyone stared at Dumbledore with wide eyes. 

“Hmm. Well, that worked a sight better than I expected,” the Headmaster mused. “But, I suppose one can never be too prepared when facing such threats.” Turning to the students, Dumbledore cleared his throat. “I am afraid the party is over, everyone. Students to their dorms. I will be having a…discussion…with these three. Good night!” 

Hastily, Kazuma and the rest of the Slytherins made a break for the dungeons, not looking behind them. Though Kazuma did hear Wiz say, “-rule of funny. Can only petrify her if it’s a gag. Otherwise-”

Once back in the dungeon, Ginny huddled up with Kazuma and the others. 

“What do we do!?” She gasped. “We’ve spent most of the money! We can’t give refunds!” 

“Run away and see if Ivermorny is accepting transfers?” Kazuma suggested. 

“They don’t play quidditch at Ivermorny! How could you even suggest that?!” Ginny gasped, horrified. 

“There’s only one thing to do,” Dust said, and the others rolled their eyes and waited for him to say something stupid. “We find that treasure, and then use it to pay everyone off!”

“Dust, that’s-” Draco paused, then blinked. Kazuma reeled from shock, his mouth hanging open. 

“That’s brilliant, Dust!” Ginny cried, and gave Dust a kiss on the cheek, which made him blush. “Yes! We find Megumin’s treasure first, and then sell it and save our skins! It’s brilliant!”

“Really? You don’t think I’m a moron for suggesting it?” Dust asked, surprised as anyone else. 

“Yes! Now, get some rest. We have the Easter Holidays to plan, and then…then we have to lose 600 points and find that treasure!” Ginny ordered. 

They departed, each certain that their salvation was near at hand. 

Even as Dumbledore had the strangest conversation he’d had since 10:15 am the day before. Which was the last time he’d had a conversation with Aqua. 

Author’s Note:

Don’t mess with Epic Level wizards. They spank gods and demons for breakfast. 

THE ADVENTURES OF LIGHTNING PRINCESS AMI: TEYVAT CHAPTER PART II

THE ADVENTURES OF LIGHTNING PRINCESS AMI

TEYVAT CHAPTER PART II

A FATED ENCOUNTER: THE LIGHTNING PRINCESS LAID TO REST!?  

Shading her eyes with her hand, Ami peered down at the bustling port city below her. Benny’s Adventure Team had already been passing through small villages and mid-sized towns for several days, and had managed to find an inn or hostile to sleep in each night along the well-traveled road between the capitals of Mondstadt and its neighbor, Liyue. Liyue Harbor itself was a sprawling metropolis, far larger than Mondstadt was. 

Junks streamed in and out of the harbor, along ships of a variety of different makes that had to be from other nations. Some were wind-powered, but others looked to be steam-powered, or used some sort of other elemental-based mechanism to propel themselves. 

“Wow, who’d have thought we’d ever come this far?” Bennett asked, grinning enthusiastically and giving Ami a big thumbs up. “This is the furthest I’ve ever been from Mondstadt! I’d been to Stone Gate before, but not all the way to Liyue Harbor!” 

“Yes, it’s quite the sight, isn’t it?” the far more cosmopolitan Mona said, studying her nails absently. “Personally, I find the Court of Fontaine to be much more interesting. Nothing but merchants in Liyue Harbor.”

“Ha ha ha!” Fischel posed atop a nearby rock, Oswald spreading his crackling wings behind her head as she summoned her bow. “The Prinzessen der Verurteilung has traveled both time and space! The many wonders I have beheld would drive mortal minds mad!”

“Not me, I’m only a little mortal,” Ami pointed out helpfully. 

“At least half still, my lady,” Murasaki said, posing behind his mistress and puffing himself up so his horn grew much larger and he could flex his arms into biceps. Ami found his little rivalry with Oz to be quite endearing, especially as the Raven tried to puff up his feathers and look even bigger. 

“W-well, b-be that as it may! While this domain of mercantilism and greed glitters like mora in the sunlight, be not deceived, for it is but a wretched hive of scum and villainy!” Fischel huffed. 

“Then we shall watch out for Imperial Stormtroopers and vile Hutt gangsters! Perhaps we shall be so fortunate as to meet a rogish captain and his wookie companion to sail us back to my mother’s homeland!” Ami said eagerly, eyes going dreamy at the thought of a handsome and young Harrison Ford whisking her off to the stars. 

“It’s more the millelith you need to watch out for. Which is why…” Mona suddenly grabbed both Fischel and Ami’s ears, making both of them cry out in pain and protest. “Both of you BEHAVE yourselves! We are on a SECRET mission, do you understand!? Do you have ANY idea how much trouble we could be in if people found out you were the Raiden Shogun’s daughter and had her legendary sword stuck in your chest, Ami!? And you, Fischel! No more of this Prinzessen business until we are safely aboard a ship bound for Inazuma!” 

“Do you doubt my veracity and lineage!?” Fischel gasped.

Mona rolled her eyes. “Think of it as having to be a royal incognito. If the foes of the realm find out you’re here, it would cause nothing but trouble. That goes for both of you! Now, do you understand?!”

“Yes,” Ami and Fischel agreed sullenly, but Mona didn’t release their ears. Instead, she looked at their two familiars. “And you will help them remember they are in disguise?”

“Of course, madam,” Murasaki said with a slight bow. 

Oz nodded his beak. “We will see to mein fräulein’s safety, and that of Lady Ami. It is our duty as their retainers.”

“Good,” Mona said, and released the two chunnibyo’s ears for them to rub as they sulked and glared at her. Mona put a hand to her head and looked faintly sick. “I’ve read your futures, and if you attract the attention of the wrong sorts, a fallen god will bury us all alive!” 

“Really? We could fight a god?” Ami asked, suddenly interested in the turn of the conversation. 

Bennett rubbed the back of his neck and winced. “Uh, that…that might be too much for us to handle. At least, on our first adventure together.”

“Oh? Would you not be willing to slay a god for me?” Fischel cooed, sidling up to Bennett, who blushed mightily. 

“I mean, we could try, and we’re pretty strong, it’s just…we’re supposed to get Ami home safely to her mom, right? I don’t think fighting a dead god would help with that…”

“The more out of the business of gods we stay, the better. Now come on, I haven’t been to Wanmin Restaurant in ages, and I’m dying for some Black-Back Perch Stew,” Mona said, and headed down the hill. 

They passed plenty of other people heading into and out of the city, along with dozens and dozens of carts and wagons. Some were simple hand carts pulled by farmers or merchants, others were entire wagon trains of heavily laden oxen. 

“You know, when I imagined Teyvat, I always imagined it as more…high tech, I guess,” Ami commented to her friends as they walked.

“Huh? What do you mean?” Bennett asked, frowning at her.

“Well, it’s just, my mom’s body is a robot, and she made my sister, who is also a robot. And there’s all sorts of high-tech stuff in Japan, like giant mecha and things, but the most advanced stuff I’ve seen here are steam engines,” Ami said.

“Oh, that’s just Mondstadt and Liyue’s aesthetic,” Mona said with a shake of her head. “Fontaine has mechanical robots running around everywhere, and Sumeru has plenty of mechanical creatures as well, though most of them are out in the desert ruins. I find the more classical presentation of Mondstadt’s architecture quite charming, but don’t be fooled: there’s very advanced elemental machinery in those windmills, and highly advanced alchemy that keeps homes heated, the sewers cleaned, and the smithy working. Mondstadt certainly has the technology to make steam engines and such if they really wanted, but Monstadters don’t feel they have a need for them to live the way they wish.”

“Speak for yourself. I, for one, would gladly have a fontainian style mecha-maid to serve my every whim!” Fischel said with a grin. 

“What mein Frauline means is that she would very much like to have someone to clean up her room and make her bed for her, as she neglects to do so most days,” Oz put in. 

“O-Oz!” Fischel gasped, going red again. 

“I actually like cleaning. Makes me feel relaxed, and it helps me find things!” Bennett said brightly. 

“Marry me,” Fischel sighed, and Bennett tripped over his own two feet, he was so startled. 

“Will they really get married?” Ami whispered to Mona as Fischel helped Bennett back up and fussed over him. 

“Not for another year, after he gets back from his trip to Natlan. Bennett loses the ring he buys there, though, and Fischel ends up proposing to him with a pair of bottle caps they have made into earrings. It’s both heartwarming and somewhat nauseating how wonderful their love story is,” Mona whispered back. 

“Well, they seem to be a good couple!” Ami said and began to conspire for Bennett and Fischel’s nuptials to happen before she had to go back to Earth Bet. Well, assuming her mother didn’t intend for her to train in Teyvat for 400 years so she could become powerful enough to slay Scion herself. 

“Yes, but unfortunately, Bennett doesn’t do a single thing to curb Amy’s delusions. Unlike you, she isn’t actually some lost princess of a forgotten realm,” Mona said with a roll of her eyes.

“Really? But what about the Immernachtriech on that island you visited three years ago with all the ravens like Oz?” Ami asked.

“I, that, that doesn’t count!” Mona sputtered. “That was just a dream!” 

Ami just shook her head. Clearly, for all her powers of clairvoyance, Mona couldn’t see that Fischel was true nobility. 

As they entered Liyue Harbor, beside the city gates, an impromptu storefront had been set up, along with a huge banner painted with red and black butterflies. It read,

SALE: TWO FOR ONE COFFINS SPECIAL!

There were other signs with the grinning face of a woman with red eyes and a black hat that read:

BUY NOW, GET A FREE FLORAL ARRANGEMENT WITH YOUR FUNERAL LATER!

And 

IT’S NEVER TOO EARLY IN LIFE TO THINK ABOUT YOUR AFTERLIFE! MAKE PLANS FOR YOUR DEATH TODAY!

On display were half a dozen kinds of coffins (complete with what looked like corpses inside of them), a variety of floral arrangements, several kinds of fancy incense burners with sweet-smelling offerings, and showcases of different kinds of memorial displays, and of course, several types of headstones and monuments. 

Out front, an overly cheerful woman whose face matched the posters was waving to passersby and trying to pass out fliers, calling excitedly, “Wangsheng Funeral Parlor is the best in the business! Send your loved ones to the afterlife in style! Come try out extra-comfort coffins, for when you want to really REST in peace!” 

Behind her, sipping tea and looking very serene, was a middle-aged gentleman in a stylish brown suit, who stood beside a life-sized cutout of the funeral lady. Something about him felt…different…to Ami. She wasn’t sure what, though. 

The whole display had to be hideously expensive to put on, but despite the grandeur of the whole thing, absolutely no one was perusing the wares. Indeed, everyone seemed to be going out of their way to cross to the other side of the road as far away from the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor’s shop as possible. 

Except, that is, for the ever-unlucky Bennett, as well as Fischel, who was too wrapped up in flirting with her future husband to even notice where they were going. 

“Why, you two look like a lovely couple!” the funeral girl said, sensing prey and sliding over to put her arms around Fischel and Bennett. 

“D-do we?” Bennett mumbled awkwardly, but Fischel preened. 

“Fufufu, do you think so? Hmm, I say, we must appear to be as a pair of lovers, dear Bennett!” 

“You do indeed! Which is why I have just the thing for you, kind sir and noble madam, to show your eternal love and devotion!” the chipper sales girl said. 

Bennett and Fischel both blushed at that, staring deep into one another’s eyes. Ami held her breath, just knowing they were about to kiss!

Then the magic was broken as the sales girl steered Bennett and Fischel over to her wares. “What you need is the Ultra Dulux Couples Coffin! Until death do us part? Not with the patent-pending King-Sized Ultra Dulux! Spend your afterlife together in a loving embrace!” 

With normal people, Ami was certain that such a pitch would have been an immediate turn off. Her friends, however, were the weird sorts.

“Gee, I dunno, that’s an awful big commitment before our first date,” Bennett said, blushing and scuffing the ground with his boot. 

“Hmm, it’s not bad, but it’s a bit plain,” Fischel said, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. “Do you have something more ostentatious? Perhaps with a raven motif? Oh, and a big fiery thumbs up, like when Bennett uses his Vision!”

The funeral girl blinked in surprise, as this was the point when most people ran away screaming from her sales pitch. Then an enormous grin bloomed on her face, and she bounced about in sheer delight at finally having found two of her people. 

“Why, yes! We can DEFINITELY do a custom order! Hmm, looking at your outfits, I think an entire Overload theme would be in order! Something truly explosive!” 

“Yes!” Fischel gasped in delight, even as Mona groaned and covered her face with her hands. 

“Uh, wouldn’t an exploding coffin be bad?” Bennett asked in a fit of common sense.

“No, no, it should shoot OFF fireworks! At the funeral! We’ll be dying together heroically, of course,” Fischel said, her mind already racing ahead to her own inevitable (and very dramatic) demise.

“Really? I always figured I’d die in some dumb accident,” Bennett mused. 

“No matter when death takes you, never fear!” the sales girl said, taking off her hat and making a sweeping bow. “Wangsheng Funeral Parlor will be there to see to your needs! I’m the Director, Hu Tao! So if you ask Who, just tell ‘em, Tao sent you!” 

“We are not buying a funeral! You both won’t die for decades!” Mona said, stomping over and glaring at Hu Tao and her two friends. 

“And how do you know that? Truly, some fall tragically before their own time,” Hu Tao said, putting her hat over her heart and hanging her head. “And, when they failed to prepare properly, their loved ones are left wandering lost, their spirits restless! But with a properly planned funeral, you can set your loved ones’ minds at ease! So whether you die today, tomorrow, or in ten decades-”

“They both pass away in the year 585 on July 25th, in bed! She dies first at 3:15 in the morning, and he passes away shortly after when he senses her spirit leave in his sleep, at 4:07!” Mona snapped. “That’s not for seventy years!” 

Bennett and Fischel both gasped in shock, while the funeral director cocked her head to one side.

The older gentleman coughed slightly, looking up from his tea at Mona. “That is a rather precise prediction of your friend's passing. Your clothes, and hat…young lady, might I inquire if you are a member of a certain group that gathers for formal tea parties on occasion?”

Mona’s eyes went wide, and she began to hyperventilate, trembling all over. Ami hurried over to steady her friend, who was pulling the brim of her wide hat down about her head as if to hide in it. “No, no, she can’t find me, not now, not here! I, I just need a little longer! Surely She hasn’t found me yet! I never should have read that damn journal!” 

Fischel and Bennett, however, were lost to the world, holding one another’s hands and looking deep into each other’s eyes. 

“I…I spend the next seventy years with you? How…how could I be that lucky?” Bennett asked, his voice raw and ragged. 

“You…you are so devoted to me that…that you…you die as soon as you sense me leaving you?” Fischel gasped. 

“”How could anyone put up with me for that long?”” they said at the same time. 

“What do you mean?!” Fischel sputtered. “You’re funny, and handsome, and hard working, and you like to clean! Who wouldn’t want you as a husband!?”

Bennett shook his head. “But, you’re pretty, and cool, and you have a style like no one else! Why would you want to hang out with boring old me when there are so many more interesting guys?!” 

“You…you don’t care that I…I talk about things that aren’t real, and, um, well, speak in a strange way, and, you know,” Fischel teased her hair and blushed. “Act…act like a little kid stuck in a daydream.”

“Huh? No way, that’s super interesting! I’m just surprised you’d put up with my horrible luck! Just on the way here, it kept raining on us out of nowhere, wells ran dry twice, and our food kept molding!” Bennett said.

“That happens on adventures! Who cares about a little bad luck, we make our own!” Fischel snapped. “But even through all that, you always had a good attitude and kept smiling and trying to cheer us up, even though I notice you didn’t mention that you got stung by bees three times and bitten by a snake in your boot!” 

“I…I just, I never thought someone like me could be so lucky as to meet someone like you,” Bennett admitted.

“Oh just kiss already,” Mona grumbled, right before the two fated lovers locked lips and wrapped their arms about one another. 

“EEEEEEEEE!” Ami squealed in excitement. 

“You’re really messing up Fate, you know that, right?” Mona complained, still leaning on Ami. “They weren’t supposed to kiss for another four weeks! You’re even worse than Lumine. Stupid descender gods.”

“Ah, Director, as these are our honored customers, I believe I should provide them with some refreshments, while you write out a contract for them to purchase the desired wares,” the gentleman said, appearing behind Mona and Ami and making them both jump. “Please, right this way. I’ve got a pot of Cheyun Vale black ready for you to sample and enjoy.”

“Hey, wait a minute, Zhongli, those aren’t our customers, it’s these two!” Hu Tao cried, but Zhongli was very firmly pushing Ami and Mona towards a small covered wagon at the back of the display. 

“Ah, yes, well, I will attempt to close out a sale to them as well, Director,” Zhongli called, Murasaki trailing behind him. 

“But I don’t need a coffin, I’m immortal,” Ami protested as Zhongli ushered her inside and carefully closed the door. 

“She is, I can’t even begin to find the end of her lifeline,” Mona sighed. She took Zhongli’s hand without asking, adding, “In contrast, yours is…is…”

Mona let out a strangled sob, then threw herself down on the wooden floor, prostrate. “PLEASE FORGIVE ME, LORD MORAX! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!” 

Zhongli, or apparently, Lord Morax, sighed and put some sort of arcane-looking elemental seal on the door. “I take it you are the group of travelers a certain vagrant colleague of mine warned me would be visiting Liyue Harbor. Please, rise. I am no longer Lord Morax. I am merely Zhongli, consultant to Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.”

“Uncle Morax!?” Ami squealed in delight and gave a formal bow before jumping forward and wrapping her arms about the old man in a tight hug. 

The old god stiffened for an instant before giving Ami a grandfatherly hug while Mona goggled at them from the floor.

“My mom has told me SO MUCH about you! Well, OK, not that much, she doesn’t say all that much, but she’s told me a few stories about you and then I read all the books that Lord Buer had about the Archons and they said you made an ENTIRE ISLAND RANGE just by throwing spears and that you have an infinite money machine and that you’re one of the Three Martial Paragons and the greatest warrior on all of Teyvat!” 

Zhongli waited for the torrent of words to come to an end, then gave Ami a patient smile, even as she vibrated with excitement. “Ah, you remind me of the young funeral director. So much passion and energy. How interesting that Ei would adopt a young human so unlike herself…and yet, in many ways, so like her sister Makoto.”

Ami’s expression fell slightly. “Yeah. She doesn’t talk about Aunt Makoto very much, but…I can tell she still really misses her twin sister. I’d be…I don’t know…broken? Yeah, I guess broken like mom if my sister Tsukoyomi died. She’s the moon god on Earth Bet!” 

“Moon god? Truly, you must stay and tell me a little of your home,” Zhongli chuckled, taking a seat and gesturing for Ami and Mona to sit at the small wooden table as well. “Please, be seated. Here, let me poor you some tea, Miss Mona. I take it that you are B’s apprentice then? She was ever one to deal in astrology and foretelling.” 

“I…I am Mona Megistus, yes,” Mona said, her teacup rattling in its saucer as her hands trembled rather violently. 

“And this strange lifeform you have brought with you…I have seen its like before, though in another time and place,” Zhongli commented. “Yet, it has been altered. Such alien beings typically do not have their Fates interwoven into the world. Here I sense the hand of the Raiden Shogun, guiding her daughter and the being that bonded to her into eternity.”

“You are correct, Lord Morax,” Murasaki said, bobbing in the air reverently. “I was once-”

“A psychic alien brain worm that was a spawn of the king of demons, sent to devour all mankind and shatter the world itself!” Ami said excitedly. 

“-that, yes,” Muraskai said, accepting a cup of tea from Zhongli. “However, I have found humanity to be utterly fascinating, my mistress Raiden Ami most of all. As such, I have transferred my loyalties not just to her directly, but to mankind in general.”

“He’s my sidekick!” Ami agreed with a wide grin, causing Morax to chuckle slightly. 

“I see you have a great zest for life. And I sense that you do indeed bear your mother’s blade. I must kindly ask you not to unsheath it while in Liyue. Though I am no longer the lord and ruler of this land, I do still feel a certain sense of…obligation, shall we say, to ensure the people’s safety. The baring of the Musou Isshin could very well spark a war between Liyue and Inazuma. I think we would all wish to avoid such an occurrence.”

“It would be a shadow war,” Mona said, dropping her mostly empty cup to the table with a clunk and clutching her head in her hands, eyes wide. “I…I can see it now. A shadow war between the Liyue Ministry of Civil Affairs and the Yashiro Commission. Hundreds dead, thousands of lives ruined, millions of mora sunk to the bottom of the sea! Please, Ami you can’t-”

“I wasn’t going to just slash people for fun, you know,” Ami said, feeling slightly insulted. 

Mona lifted her hands to glare at her young companion. “You used it to annihilate that Geo Vishap day before yesterday!” 

“We were away from the main road! And that was a dragon! You said so!” Ami protested. “A warrior needs her mightiest blade to fell a dragon!” 

“Yes, and anyone who was paying attention from here to Nod-Krai sensed the unveiling of a great power, though I doubt many knew exactly what the source was from so great a distance,” Zhongli said with a slow shake of his head. “Please, be more forbearing in the future, and draw forth your mother’s sword only in time of greatest need.”

“Yes, Uncle Morax,” Ami said, bowing her head and trying not to pout. 

“Now, as to transportation, I have secured you passage upon a trustworthy vessel, which will depart port two days hence,” Zhongli said, pouring Mona some more tea.

“Two days? We can’t leave immediately?” Mona groaned and slumped in her chair, but Ami sat up with a gasp of delight. 

“You mean I get a whole day to sightsee in Liyue Harbor!?”

“Such is the plan. I have conspired to persuade the director to give up this venture. As your friends appear to actually be interested in purchasing her wares, I dare say she will be content to abandon this fruitless sale and play tour guide for you. I have communicated to her that you are my goddaughter, from a dear old friend in Inazuma, who was passing through after visiting distant relations in Mondstadt.”

“Yeah, I’ve met a different version of Lord Barbatos before. He’s fun, but really strange,” Ami wrinkled her nose. “He lives in the back of a van back home, and this version looked like he’d been sleeping in a ditch.”

“The common room of the Angel’s Share, more like. No wonder Jean has been quietly paying Venti’s tab,” Mona muttered. 

Zhongli coughed. “Yes, well, Barbatos was always the most… free-spirited, shall we say, of my peers. He is a treasured friend, but our methods and approaches to life have been rather different. Though of late, I do understand better why he has always chosen to let the people determine their own path, and guide only with an unseen hand from afar.”

“Eh, I don’t know, people are kinda dumb,” Ami commented, which had Mona snort with laughter. 

“Ah, so you believe as your mother does, that mortals require a god's guidance?” Zhongli asked, raising an eyebrow.

Ami shrugged. “I guess, though she mostly let Noriko, the Emperor, and Mushu run things. But without gods, Maou the Golden would just kill everyone. We’re still trying to figure out how we’ll beat him, but when you and the Pyro Archon arrive, I’m sure we’ll be able to win!” 

“I arrive?” Zhongli appeared mildly perturbed by that, frowning and shaking his head. “Please, enlighten me.”

Ami began to lay out a brief history of Earth Bet (Enhanced Edition), while Mona pulled out a notebook and began to furiously scribble down everything she said. Murasaki chimed in from time to time when Ami’s embellishments became a bit too much, or her prose went too far into the ultra-violet spectrum. The gist of things was largely correct, at least from the perspective of the daughter of the Raiden Shogun. 

“A most fascinating tale. Thank you for sharing it with me. I will have to consider all that you have told me. If these alien demons-”

“We prefer the term shard-based lifeforms, Lord Morax,” Murasaki said delicately. 

“-as you say. If such creatures could descend and devour the world…well. Perhaps we are fortunate that Heaven watches over all upon Teyvat. But for now, I think that is enough. Come, you must be hungry after a long journey. I have made reservations for us this afternoon at Xinyue Kiosk.”

Zhongli turned and opened the door, and Ami blinked in surprise. It didn’t look like the sun had moved at all, and Hu Tao was still chattering away excitedly to Bennett and Fischel about funeral packages. 

“Do not worry: not much more than ten breaths have passed outside, nor would they no matter how long we remained in that room,” Zhongli said quietly as he shut the door behind them. “A small adaptation art to give us privacy.”

“Yes, because temporal manipulation is just a small bit of magic,” Mona groaned. 

“Uh, yeah. It’s not that hard. I do it all the time when I need a few more minutes of sleep or forget to do my homework,” Ami said casually, which made Mona’s brain melt just a little. “Just in my own realm, though. Mom says she learned how to do it from someone called Streetward Rambler.”

“Ah, I shall have to take you to meet Streetward Rambler after dinner, though she goes by the name Madam Ping these days,” Zhongli chuckled.

“Ah, there you are, Consultant!” Hu Tao said brightly, turning to the trio. “These fine and upstanding individuals have purchased a full lifetime package! Though we’ll have to find a way to deliver it to Mondstadt. Plenty of time, though! Apparently, Miss Witch here has very accurate predictions.”

“I should never have said anything,” Mona groaned, pinching her nose. She took a deep breath, then opened her eyes and glared at Fischel and Bennett before sticking a finger under their noses. “Now listen here! Just because I FORSEE your death in 70 years doesn’t give you a license to be stupid and reckless, you hear!? You can still get brutally mauled or turned into a vegetable, or if you’re epically idiotic, suffer a fate worse than death that will make you WISH you died young! And don’t you ever even DARE breathe a word that I can foresee other people’s deaths! No one ever likes to hear it!” 

“Actually…I was wondering if you’d do a bit of freelance work?” Hu Tao said with a predatory grin, which made Mona jump back in surprise. “How’d you feel about helping me with a line of pre-filled out headstones? Or early access death certificates!” 

“No! Absolutely not! That’s…that’s horribly morbid!” Mona gasped. “No price would ever get me to-”

“I’ve got a series of original star charts from Sea Gazer and a one-of-a-kind guide to historical constellations and their movements written by Mountain Shaper, as well as a real astrolabe designed by Cloud Retainer,” Hu Tao said, studying her black nails nonchalantly. 

“-so do you have a list of people for whom you want the headstones for? Are we just putting on date of death, or the manner of passing too?” Mona asked breathlessly. 

“Fantastic! I’ll have my Consultant draw up a contract for us right away!” Hu Tao said, pulling the blushing Mona into a side hug and grinning hugely. 

“I am afraid that Madam Mona is currently engaged in other affairs, Director,” Zhongli said, and nodded to Ami. “This is my goddaughter that I told you about, Ami.”

“Muramaru! Muramaru Ami,” she added hastily. It wasn’t even a lie, not really. That was her birth name, though almost no one remembered it.

“Rrrrriiiiiighhhhttt,” Hu Tao said, hooding her gaze and walking slowly around Ami, which made her blush and stand up straight. She glanced at Zhongli, who gave her a grandfatherly smile, and sighed and shook her head, then shrugged. “Well, if that’s your story, then fine! Though I do have to ask, how old are you, exactly?” 

“I’m fourteen!” Ami said proudly, puffing out her meager chest. She was going to get her growth spurt soon, she just knew it! “Uh, I am adopted, though. T-this is actually the first time I’ve met Uncle M-Zhongli.”

A wicked grin spread over Hu Tao’s face. “You don’t say. Uncle M-Zhongli, eh? Gee, I wonder what the M stands for?”

Ami felt herself sweat and glanced over at Zhongli, who just sipped at his ever present cup of tea. “Director, I am afraid I must request the rest of the day off, and tomorrow as well. As this is the only time I am likely to see my god-daughter in the near future, I feel obligated to further her education by showing her about Liyue Harbor.”

“Well, of course! And I’ll come with you!” Hu Tao clapped her hands. “Alright, Lazy Bones! Up and at ‘em!” 

“Ugh, finally,” one of the corpses said, groaning and stretching hugely, which made Fischel scream in panic and jump into Bennett’s arms. “Laying in the coffin all day gets really tiresome, even if they are pretty comfortable.”

“Oh relax, Ferrylady! You can stand up and mind the stand! Mmmmm Zhongli and I are going to show these lovely people about the town! And treat them to lunch at my expense, unless I miss my guess,” Hu Tao said, eyeing Zhongli up and down. 

He coughed. “I was going to request an advance on my pay to cover this afternoon’s expenses…”

“Eh, don’t worry about it, we made BANK today! The Ultra Dulux Couples Coffin has been SOLD!” Hu Tao preened, grinning at Bennett and Fischel.

“Is it really that comfortable?” Ami asked, peering curiously into one of the coffins.

“Try it out yourself!” Hu Tao encouraged, patting the interior of the coffin her employee had just vacated.”That way, when you need one, you’ll know to buy the very best from Wangsheng Funeral Parlor!” 

“Ok!” Ami agreed, and hopped into the coffin, then insisted that she be lowered into the demonstration grave, just to get a feel for it. “After all, it’s not like I’m ever going to die!” 

“Ah, the optimism of youth,” Zhongli said, giving the smug Hu Tao a mild smile as he carefully used some geo constructs to set Ami’s coffin within the grave.

“Uh huh. And when was the last time one of your relatives died? And just how are you related to Ami’s family again? I think you forgot to mention it.”

“Very old friends, who share an interest in historical events. Especially ancient battles and weaponry. Why, I recall, once, we were pursuing an old weapons storehouse, and she was telling me the history of the Inazuma Isshin Art, and how it was created first by the hands of the Raiden Shogun, then refined by mortal hands over the centuries…”

“Wow, and I bet the two of you saw the whole thing!” Hu Tao interrupted. “But, we don’t have time for all that? How’s it feel, Ami?”

“Kinda weird,” Ami said, her voice slightly muffled in the coffin. “But very comfortable. I could totally take a long nap in here!”

“Oh,” Mona said, relaxing slightly. “So that’s what that meant.”

“Huh?” Fischel said, turning to her.

“Just that she really was buried by a forgotten god. That’s the hard part about my Visions. They always come true, but rarely how I expect,” Mona sighed. “Congratulations, by the way.”

“On what, exactly?” Fischel asked, confused. 

“You’re no longer the weirdest person I’ve ever met. I don’t think you’re even in the top three,” Mona bluntly said.

Fischel grunted, then shoved Mona from behind. With a wail, the astrologer toppled into a coffin of her own, which Fischel kicked shut. 

“MWA-AHAHAHA! THE PRINZESSEN DER VERURTEILUNG IS VICTORIOUS ONCE MORE!” she declared, striking a victory pose atop the lid.

“LET ME OUT!” Mona wailed. “LET ME- Oh. This really is comfortable. You know what? Leave me in here for a couple hours. I need a nap.”

“You’ll miss dinner at Xinyue Kiosk, Lady Megistus,” Oz pointed out as Fischel hopped down. 

“Oh, never mind,” Mona sighed, pushing the lid open and sitting up. “I suppose I can rest on the sea voyage. A nice, relaxing cruise to Inazuma. Then this is all over.”

NEXT CHAPTER:

AN UNKNOWN SIBLING?! LIGHTNING PRINCESS AMI DISCOVERS SUMERU’S DARK SECRET!

Author’s Note:

Is it canon? Is it all just Ami’s delusions? Will Fischel and Bennett have a dozen adorable children? The answers to these questions and more, in the next episode! Which will be whenever I feel like it. 

Anyway, next chapter it’s WWIII: Desert Expansion with extra depresso. 

May I Enjoy My Life Entry 32

1100/8/4

Bars are usually one of my favorite places to be. And no, it’s not just because you can get wasted, though that is fun, but because you can hang out with your friends, and dance, sing, and party the night away! I’ve spent a lot of time in bars with Texas, Sora, Croissant, and of course, Boss! Heck, Penguin Logistics owns the Ends of the Earth, and it’s basically our HQ!

Which was why El Garfio y el Grito was such a total bummer! The lightning sucked, there was no decor to speak of, the floor was old planks with so many stains you had to wonder if your feet would stick in the gunk, and they only had beer! Iberian beer! At least have something GOOD, like a Rim Billington Pale Ale or a Leithanien lager. I mean, I guess it’s not Columbian Light Beer? Blurgh. 

Anyway, we were in this charmingly rustic setting for a hand off. Just me and the girls, and Miss Amiya! Oh, and the girls now included Irene. She didn’t get a vote in this, because she needed to learn to have fun! We were making progress on that front, as she’d added a pink sash to her outfit! So it was me, Mudrock, Surtr, Irene, and Amiya in a bar. I wasn’t totally sure why we were sitting there and drinking Iberian pisswater, but it was fun to chat with Amiya.

Oh, and no beer for Amiya. She got milk, which was the only thing they served aside from beer. Not even a Roi Rogellus or a Sirelia Templar! Seriously, worst bar ever. The bartender was an older Liberi man who couldn’t decide between glaring at us or being scared to death, as he’d probably figured out that Irene was an Inquisitor. Actually, he kept calling me “Lady Inquisitor”, so maybe he thought I was one? I just laughed and asked him if they had any girlie drinks with umbrellas. I think he nearly wet himself when he had to tell me no. 

Though at this moment, I’m having a bit of a heated debate with Irene. 

“-what you’re talking about sounds like Heresy, Exu,” Irene said, frowning at me. 

“Well, then the church is dumb! Besides, I’m not Iberian, I’m Lateran,” I said, with a shrug. “Sarkaz are people too, and aren’t we all just human at the end of the day?”

“...it is the same church. You know this, yes?” Irene said, shaking her head at me. “I would not have thought a Sankta to be an apostate. Though I suppose I should not be surprised, after how you acted back at the Monastery.”

“Well, you’ve hung out with Mudmud and Surtr, so you know Sarkaz aren’t automatically evil!” I huffed, stabbing the table with my finger. “No more than Aegir are!” 

“I…” Irene trailed off, looking uncomfortable. 

“Oh, so now you’re going to tell me that Behemot and Surtr are evil!?” I demanded hotly. 

“No!” Irene snapped, then sighed and rubbed her forehead. “No, the problem, Exu, is that you are making too much sense. I…I never thought too hard about why the Islanders and the Devils were evil and should be destroyed. I just did it. But now…now I am wondering…what if the reason so many of them join the Church of the Deep is because we have driven them to it by denying them the Light of the Law?”

“See!? Exactly! We’re all just people, Irene! Sankta, Liberi, Sarkaz…I mean, would you still be friends with me if I said I were a Sarkaz?”

“I…yes. I think I would,” Irene admitted. 

“Well, good. Because I am,” I leaned across the table, expression as serious as I could make it. Which, uh, I have been told still makes me look like a kid planning mischief, but I try, OK?  “Look, Sarkaz and Sankta are actually the same race! I just have this nightlight over my head instead of horns and a tail! But, you should see my friend Mostima! She’s got horns and a tail, and no one says she isn’t Sankta!” 

“You can’t be drunk yet, you’ve only had two beers,” Irene said, frowning at me. 

“Irene! It would take way more than two beers to get me even buzzed,” I protested, mildly offended. 

“So you say,” Irene sighed, which was when Amiya came back with Surtur and Mudrock. They’d been looking for someone who had a package, but Amiya was the only one of us who knew who it was, and wasn’t talking much. “She’s drunk, don’t listen to her.”

“Oh? What’s Exu saying today?” Surtr asked as they sat down with their own drinks. 

Irene blushed and waved it off. “Oh, she’s saying she’s Sarkaz or some such nonsense.”

“Yeah? And so what if she is?” Surtr demanded, glaring across the table at Irene. 

“I, you…what?” Irene spluttered. 

She glanced at Mudrock, but good ol’ Mudmud just nodded. “She is Sarkaz.”

“I…Amiya, is insanity mandatory amongst your employees? Because if it is, I might need to reconsider my application,” Irene groaned. “Or are you going to claim to be Sarkaz too?”

Amiya was quiet, while Mudrock and Surtr went suddenly rigid, eyes darting to Amiya. 

Our fluffy bunny mascot quietly sipped her milk for a moment, then carefully set her mug down and met Irene’s eyes. “And what if I am? What would that change about me, about Rhodes Island, Irene? How would our mission to provide Salvation to the Infected and hope to the downtrodden change?”

“I…I guess it wouldn’t? I just…how would people react if I started calling myself a Sankta?” Irene said, looking very uncomfortable. 

“You’d look kinda stupid with a night light over your head,” I told her, draping my arm about her shoulders. “But, who knows? Maybe the Law will feel like granting everyone Halos. Then we could all be Sankta! But that would be kinda boring, so I’d have to pass. You’re more fun as a Liberi!” 

“Just don’t let anyone hear you saying things like that,” Irene lectured. “If I were a less neighborly inquisitor, telling me that Sankta and Sarkaz are the same race could get you burned at the stake!”

“Illogical. The penalty for Heresy has not been Stake Burning since the Conclave of 638. Instead, the properly prescribed penalty under the Law is confiscation of patron firearm and exile. Though in this case, that would not be applicable as Lemuel Exusiai does not reside in Laterano.”

I jumped a full meter in the air and spun about, Scardy and Katt flying into my hands. To my horror, Katt was knocked right out of my left hand. I fired Scardy on impulse, the bullet sending splinters flying as it impacted next to my attacker’s foot. I tried to adjust my aim, but a fist took me in my solar plexus and the breath went out of me. I sank to my knees, wheezing for breath, but Irene had her rapier out and was slashing at our attacker. A shotgun blast sent the blade spinning out of her hands, and Irene, crying out in pain and clutching her hand, though it had been a bean-bag round. 

That was when Surtr knocked the table over, causing two of the bars other patrons to have to scramble out of the way before it smashed into theirs, though our attacker just sidestepped and raised his shotgun, firing another bean-bag at Surtr, who snarled in pain as it smacked into her arm. 

Mudrock waded forward, taking a beanbag to the stomach without flinching, then grabbing the barrel of the shotgun. She looked like she was about to bend the barrel in half, when the notes of a haunting melody on a cello filled the bar. I sort of lost focus for a second there, though in the back of my mind, I was screaming as I watched that smug bitch Arturia saw away. 

“Meddle not in the emotions of my people.”

Amiya’s voice cut through the music and caused the haze of emotions clouding my mind to vanish like a puff of smoke. I surged up, even as Mudrock shook off her stupor, but she was too late, as Federico had yanked away his gun and was pointing it at her head. 

“These rounds are not non-lethal. I apologize, but according to Notarial Hall regulations, when facing Sarkaz, lethal rounds are required to be used,” the Law’s Most Autistic Angel stated matter-of-factly. Then he shifted, drawing a second shotgun, and pointing it at his sister of all people. “You were not authorized to engage your arts on our allies.”

“Mmm, but Fedi, you were fighting them. How could I let my frater fight without helping?” Arturia the Smug asked, lightly drawing her bow across her cello’s strings. 

“I told you not to play with the emotions of my people,” Amiya said calmly, raising a hand and letting black lightning arc between her fingers. “I will not repeat myself gently, Arturia.” 

“You’re all no fun,” Arturia laughed, but lowered her bow. “Well, I suppose instead of fighting, we really should be delivering the package.”

“Yes. I apologize, Lemuen Exusiai. It seems I startled you. That was not my intention,” Federico stated flatly. 

“Uh, yeah, sorry. I’m just…jumpy,” I admitted, and let my empathy connect to Fred and Arturia. As usual, I got about as much as you’d get from a brick wall from Fred. It’s not that Fred doesn’t have Empathy, like Mostima, but rather that my rubber fowlbeast back home has more of an emotional range than he does. I used to just think he’s weird, now I’m pretty sure he’s just like Texas and has that autism stuff. 

The difference is, I like Texas. Fred is a complete killjoy. Did you know he once confiscated my homemade party favors and said they were “illegal contraband!?” Seriously, I know those laws are probably on the books and stuff, but no one in Laterano enforces that! We’re a dynamite open carry society, thank you very much! 

I was so mad that I filed a formal complaint! By which I mean I spray-painted his bike hot pink and graffitied “BJ PRINCESS” on his door. You know what he said!?

“My initials are not BJ, nor am I royalty of any sort. I am but a humble servant of Notarial Hall.”

Danger, Rill Wobinson, Danger! Sense of humor not found! 

He did keep the hot pink bike. Said it was “more visible in traffic.” So that was kind of amusing. 

Anyway, the less said about Arturia’s emotions, the better. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with her, but my prognosis is “raging bitch.” 

I am not fond of the Giallo siblings, in case you didn’t realize. I know, I know, I try to be subtle about it.

Oh and they’re technically cousins or whatever, but they grew up together and they’re both complete pains. Also, they fight like Lemuen and I do, but without the fun vibes. 

But I guess I’ll take Empathy where I can get it. Even from the Giallos. 

“Do you have the package?” Amiya asked, calmly stepping forward even as the rest of us picked up our weapons and glared at the Giallos. 

“I do. Aya was cooperative and provided it when I gave my credentials,” Fred said, and produced a small box, which he handed to Amiya. “Additionally, I have a communiqué from his Holiness.”

Amiya took the proffered paper and unfolded it. I tried not to glance at it, but my curiosity nearly got the better of me! Professionalism did win out, but then Amiya held the note out to me. “Exusiai, what do you make of this?”

I took it eagerly and scanned the document, then let out a gasp and read it again more carefully. 

His Eminence 

Saint Yvangelista XI

Apostle of the Law and Pope of Laterno

Dear Amiya of Rhodes Island, 

I greet you in the name of the Law and the people of Laterano, and pray that this letter finds you and all the good people of Rhodes Island well.

I have received the letters from you and Dame Kal’tsit. Their contents trouble me greatly, but they align with my own fears and suspicions. Now is not the time for disunity, nor for strife: Now is the time for the people of all nations and peoples to come together as one, setting aside all old grudges and quarrels. I happily agree to your terms and suggestions. Even now, I pen letters to leaders of every nation, and entrust them to my couriers. Yes, even unto the good folk of Kazdel, and Wiš'adel, whom I have also been in contact with. 

I do not ask that you reveal all your secrets to me at this time, nor do I propose to share all of my own thoughts with you now. Only know that in pursuit of peace and the wellbeing of the Sankta, as well as all of humanity, myself and Laterano stand at the ready to do whatever is necessary to ensure the continuation of all life on Terra, no matter the origin of that life. 

I have heard of this Dr. James McCoy and his efforts, and I applaud them. I myself am greatly troubled by the plight of the Infected of Laterano, and as you know, have worked alongside Rhodes Island to succor those the Law would cast out. Even now, I think perhaps the time has come to set aside those old strictures and to embrace our fellows who suffer in this world, even as we do. 

For your current mission, I send to you two of my Saints: Saint Federico Giallo of Notarial Hall, and his cousin and soror, Arturia Giallo. I know that Federico has cooperated with Rhodes Island in the past, and I encourage the association to continue. He has been granted full papal authority as a Saint, and has been chosen by the Law Himself to act in this matter. 

As for Arturia, Federico will help guide her along the proper path, but the Law has also chosen her as a Saint and His agent. She claims to have confronted and learned from the Witch King himself, which is a disturbing enough proposition on its own. In such times, I fear we will have need of powers even such as hers. 

Law be with you, and your people. I pray that the people of Laterano, and of Terra, will be ready for the revelations that you and Rhodes Island bring. No matter what Catastrophe we face, you will have my support, and that of my office, so long as you strive to bring the light of Dawn to all of Terra. 

From the Pen of His Eminence 

Saint Yvangelista XI

Apostle of the Law and Pope of Laterno

I felt myself hyperventilating, and the paper trembled in my hands. I took back everything I had said about His Holiness. Yvangelista XI did not just have immaculate drip. The man was an icon of everything I aspired to be, and everything I hoped the Sankta would become. 

He knew! His Holiness knew! And he wasn’t just OK with it, he was supportive! I…I didn’t know what to say! I thought he was a stuffy old man, but instead, he was the most progressive person in Laterano! Maybe even more than me! I was going to buy that man a slice of apple pie with char siu!

I looked up at Fred, beaming with delight. He just looked back at me stone-faced. I didn’t care! I jumped forward and gave him a big hug, which took him by surprise enough that he didn’t even try and put me in a submission hold. That, or he could tell I was too gleeful to mean him harm. 

“Do, do you know?!” I gasped, tears in my eyes. 

“I am unaware of the contents of the letter. I am merely the messenger,” Fred said stiffly, not even trying to hug me back. Sheesh, he wasn’t even gay, I could feel the horniness coming off him. And I don’t mean the Empathy. 

I stepped back and grinned up at the beautiful, tall bastard. “About the Sankta! And the Sarkaz!”

“Ah. Yes. I have been informed,” Fred said with a serious nod. 

“Mmm, it seems we will be working together in harmony,” Arturia said, plucking a string on her chello. I was so elated I gave her a hug too! She reacted with more shock and discomfort than even Fred. What a weird family. Most people in Laterano are super big huggers. I mean, we can already share emotions. So we can totally tell when someone needs a hug. I’m bigger than most, but even my Big Sis has been known to hug Sankta she just met. Even…even after the…incident…

“I…was not aware you were so…fond…of me, Lemuel,” Arturia managed, frowning at me as I did a little happy jig. 

“But you KNOW! I’m not alone anymore!” I said, tears streaming down my face. I hurried over, and grabbed Surtr and Mudrock, pulling them forward. I took a deep breath, then said, “Fred, Arturia, these…these are my sisters. Behemoth of the Gargoyles, and Surtr, of, uh…you know, we never talked about what tribe you are?”

“Fucked if I know,” Surtr said, frowning at Arturia and Fred. They were reacting, oddly. Federico had recoiled slightly at me calling Mudmud and Surtr my sisters. Arturia had put her hand over her mouth, which was hanging open, eyes wide. 

“I see. I am Federico Giallo of Notarial Hall,” Federico said, his tone somehow even more stiff and uncomfortable than before. He gestured to Arturia, who still hadn’t recovered. “This is my soror. Arturia Giallo.”

“Lemuel,” Arturia managed, her voice rather strangled. “You…name these two…sisters? Does…does Lemuen the Silent know?” 

“She will,” I said firmly. “And she’ll accept them, too! I just have to tell her about the Apple Pie with Mayonaise!” 

“Apple pie with…” Arturia’s lip curled in disgust, then she shook her head, and bowed, hand and bow over her heart. “Well. I have always believed that people should be liberated from their own suppressed emotions, and I suppose you embody that ideal perfectly. A pleasure, Sister Surtr and Sister Behemot. May the music we create together open the eyes and hearts of all the world!” 

I could feel it! Empathy from both Federico, and Arturia! They weren’t hateful, or even resentful towards Surtur or Mudrock! They accepted them!

“By the Holy Eyes…then, what you said is true?! All of it!?” Irene gasped, going white as a ghost. 

“Every word,” I said firmly. “Right, Mudmud?”

“Indeed. It is time for all the tribes of lost Teekaz to achieve enlightenment together. The time of Disunity, of Weeping, brought on by the poison of our ancient enemy, is to be banished from these lands,” Mudrock agreed.

“Fuck if I know what this shit is about,” Surtr grumbled, then grinned. “But let’s go kill some Seaborn together!” 

Amiya nodded. “Rhodes Island fights to end the threat of Originium to the Infected, to all of Terra, forever. We have that now within our grasp. Come. With the key in hand, it is time to find the lost Stulifera Navis, and reopen the Path of Life once more. We shall reclaim the Arbor, and then, bring Grace to the Law itself.”

I didn’t know what that meant, but I was pretty sure it did mean I was going to get to shoot some seaborn! WOO HOO! Team Apple Pie Godslayer, IS A GO!

As we left the bar, a couple of figures in what amounted to moldy rags approached us. I put my arm between them and Amiya, Victor in my hands immediately. They looked suspicious as hell, and this wouldn’t be the first time the Church of the Deep tried to bushwack us. 

However, Amiya gently brushed my hand aside. “It’s alright, Exusiai. They are not our enemies.”

As they approached, I saw that one of them had a babe in her arms. The other was a filthy little boy, with sunken cheeks. And…and all three of them had the horns of Sarkaz. 

“Please, they said you…you are giving alms! Even…even to the unclean,” the woman begged, stopping several paces from us, and extending a grimy hand. 

Amiya stepped forward, and the woman flinched back. “W-we are, we are unclean, Señora.”

I could see the lesions on them, and I winced at the sight. Infected. Yeah, there wasn’t much worse you could do than to be the local Sarkaz and be Infected in Iberia. They probably survived by picking through the local dump, or being forced to service crystal power plants. They were already infected, so what if they breathed in a little more originium dust? Even the little boy has visible lesions on his hands. 

“So am I,” Amiya said, holding up her hand and lowering the sleeve to show the veins of originium there. 

The woman gasped, then hastily reached out and tugged up Amiya’s sleeve. “Señora! Do, do not let them see! They…they will beat you, and toss you out of town!”

“I’d like to see them try,” Surtr sneered. There had been some people who made noises about that until Irene produced an Inquisitorial writ. But no more than noises. It was one thing to harass a starving woman and her children. It was another thing to do so to a group of heavily armed PCMs. 

“Here,” Mudrock said, kneeling and pulling out a small sack. She removed a piece of rock candy, and extended it to the boy. He quickly stepped forward and took it, then retreated a step back. He stuck it into his mouth, then hesitated. “You…you are devils, too?”

“I am Behemot, Daughter of Eretzha, Daughter of Golemath. What is your name, Son of Kazdel?”

“That…that wasn’t daddy’s name,” the boy said, looking up to his mother, who was weeping as Amiya gently took her baby. 

“Your father…your father was Sobras. You…you do not have a name,” his mother said bitterly. 

“They just call me Diablito,” the boy said, hanging his head. 

Sobras…that just meant leftovers. Probably what he begged for. I guessed daddy wasn’t around anymore, and my heart felt sick. Arturia and Fred just stood quietly, watching. Irene was glaring at the passing townsfolk, stroking her rapier. They crossed to the other side of the street or closed their doors and went inside. PMCs were one thing. Angry inquisitors meant bar the doors and hide. 

Amiya began to sing softly to the infant, rocking her back and forth.

“Please, I heard you have drugs,” the woman asked. “My children, please. They…they are infected. Can you…?”

“Your daughter is not infected,” Amiya stated. “But we will give drugs to you and your son.”

The woman laughed bitterly, then coughed. It was wet and ragged, and there were flecks of blood on her hand when she lowered it. “Why waste them on me? I will be dead soon. I…I do not know…who will care for my children, then?”

“Hey, we’re Rhodes Island. They’re safe now!” I said, kneeling down and offering my hand. The kid flinched away and hid behind Mudrock.

“Do not fear, child. This is Exusiai. She is Sarkaz, as we are,” Mudrock said gently, guiding the boy back out to face me. 

“But, but she is…she is one of, them,” the woman said, her lip curling in disgust, and I flinched slightly. 

“Here, kid, something for you,” I said, and handed him a handful of party poppers. Actual party poppers. He was like, six or seven. You start them off easy before you give them the real fun stuff. 

He curiously pulled one, then started at the explosion, then laughed with delight, and pulled several more, sending out sparks and streamers onto the street while his mother watched. 

Almost no one else saw, but I was keeping an eye on Amiya. Courier training: keep your eyes on the package. 

So, I saw when a black crown formed above her head. I heard as her song changed, to an incantation. Not in any language I knew, but one I recognized: Old Kazdelian. The language of the Sarkaz.

And I saw as a handful of black splinters left that baby’s body, trailing drops of blood. And I beheld in horror as the orginium shards were sucked into Amiya’s palm. She met my eyes, then put a finger to her lips, the crystal crown fading. 

I stayed there, kneeling in the dirt, my eyes wide, breathing heavy.

Holy fucking shit. 

Amiya…Amiya was the King of Fiends. 

Holy Law..

Those seaborn are fucked. 

Author’s Note:

YOU THOUGHT IT WAS IS3

BUT IT WAS ME, IS5 THE ENTIRE TIME

The Second Archon War: Interlude 17

Interlude 17: Those Who Yearn for the Gods' Gaze

Sweat dripped down Lumine’s brow, but she ignored it, her gaze unflinching on the feet of her opponent. You always watched the feet, the arms, but not the face. The face could deceive you. She kept her sword on high guard, her entire body as tense as a wound spring. 

Her opponent, Raiden Ami, held a similar pose, her bleached blonde hair tied back in a topknot for the duel. Between them in the midst of a ring of packed earth, Murasaki floated, a little striped shirt on his chest, and a small whistle around his neck. He raised a small hoof, then dropped it. “Begin!” 

Lightning roared as Ami flashed forward, but Lumine used her teleportation to step through space and time. Months of arduous training had helped her to understand that everything, even air, had mass. She no longer had to see an object of similar mass to swap places with, but instead, could flash step to the air itself. Her blade met Ami’s with a roar of power, her own god-forged blade striking the princess’ in a burst of energy. 

Then, as soon as they clashed, both teleported away to attack from a different angle. The display was maddening to watch, with two girls disappearing and reappearing seemingly at random to the untrained eye. 

Lumine knew perfectly well that it was not random, but a deeply complex choreography of move and countermove, where one wrong teleport could mean death. Neither she nor Ami felt confined to the ground either, the only rule being that they could not teleport more than ten meters above the surface of the ring, nor could they leave it. Doing so was an immediate forfeit, and Lumine was desperate for victory on this day. 

She flashed into the air even as Ami appeared below her and swung down with all her strength, but Ami countered at the same time, and Lumine was forced to teleport away before she took a hit. The match was only to first blood, and even a minor cut was an immediate loss. 

Sometimes, she would teleport a couple of meters away from Ami, out of reach, striking out even as Ami appeared beyond the stroke of her blade. The frantic whirlwind continued, always either the combatants reading each other perfectly and their blades ringing together, or with a move too subtle or random for the other to follow and blades cutting only the wind. 

Outside of the ring, Paimon watched with her fists clenched, calling encouragement to Lumie with all her might. Beside her, Caelus had on a ridiculous cheerleader outfit that showed off his abs, with “TEAM LUMINE” on his chest and a pair of gold and white pompoms in his hands. 

Stelle was shouting random bits of advice to both combatants, which Lumine and Ami were steadfastly ignoring, as neither of them could “do a barrel roll” or “a pile driver.” Aether looked tense, but was shouting Lumine’s name in encouragement as well. 

On the other side, Sayu was pretending to take a nap, though she did forget herself and shouted when Ami got particularly close to giving Lumine an untimely hair cut. Clara was much more vocal, and, well, was also randomly tossing out Jumpty-Dumpties that were exploding into confetti and sparkling lights. 

Ami’s mother was also in attendance, though the Raiden Shogun observed the fight with her typical serene expression, hands folded before her almost demurely. Yae Miko was pumping her hands and whooping it up beside her mistress, though the pudgy little fox girl had also been taking bets on who would win the fight for two weeks now. Lumine had it on good authority that it was 60-40 in the Princess’s favor. Honestly, she was flattered. She’d have thought her odds were worse than that after her string of prior defeats. 

With the frenetic pace and tremendous expenditure of energy, Lumine was at a severe disadvantage: While Raiden Ami wasn’t a Vision Holder and was supposedly “merely” a parahuman like Lumine, with both of them having had their Shards modified by a divine patron, Ami was also the daughter of a god. As one of the anointed vessels of the Electro Archon, Ami was far beyond any mortal in strength, speed, and endurance. Her only slight disadvantage was that she couldn’t truly teleport like Lumine did: While Ami was literally as fast as lightning, she still had to traverse the physical distance between teleports, even if as a bolt of actual electricity. 

That was why Lumine was desperately trying to track Ami’s movements, while keeping hers as random as possible. She could only keep up this incredible pace for a few minutes at most. In comparison, Lightning Princess Ami had shown that the Shogun’s daughter had once spared with her sister for a day and a night, and had only stopped for fear the storm they were generating would consume the Izu Islands. 

Privately, Ami admitted it was because she got angry with her “younger” sister trouncing her for so long, and tried a death-or-glory attack that resulted in her getting smacked down into the Pacific and going lights out. And that she had done it after only six hours. 

Still, that meant that Lumine’s only real hope was that she somehow find a way to end this fight before she was gassed. And, after four prior bouts with Ami, she thought she had detected a pattern to the Lightning Princess’s movements. It wasn’t completely consistent: Ami was a canny enough fighter, but if she thought she detected an opening, she often defaulted back to a certain series of moves: Teleport in high, flash in to the right, below, then a killing blow from her opponent's blind spot just above and behind their head. 

It was harder to predict when Lumine was also teleporting…but Lumine let herself fall into a rhythm that she could only hope that Ami would pick up on. Fortunately, it seemed to be working, and Lumine forced herself to go off rhythm and stumble, then take what seemed like a series of panicked and more predictable teleports. 

Sure enough, Ami sensed her chance to go in for the kill, and began her pattern of high, to the right, below, and then-

Breaking off her own pattern, Lumine teleported so that she would be above and to the left of Ami as she went in for her finishing blow from behind where Lumine’s head should have been. Ami blinked into existence right as Lumine slashed down, teeth bared in a grin of triumph. 

Even then, taken off guard and having her moves read, Ami was too fast. She flipped herself about in midair and managed to counter Lumine’s blow before both of them teleported away to reorient themselves. Lumine took a moment to suck in a ragged breath and readjust her grip, while Ami reset her stance and grinned at her. 

“Match point,” the Raiden Shogun declared, breaking her silence. 

Everyone froze, then turned to look at the Electro Archon. As they did so, a single red drop formed on Ami’s cheek, where Lumine’s blade had just grazed her. 

“Victory to the Traveler,” the Shogun said, and Ami groaned and slumped slightly, before quickly straightening and bowing to the still shocked Lumine. 

“Arigato gozaimashita,” Ami said, her tone back to its normal cheerfulness. She winked at Lumine. “You got me!” 

“D-domo arigato gozaimashita,” Lumine managed, her heart racing. Then, she turned towards the Raiden Shogun herself, and raised her blade in salute. 

“You said when I defeated your daughter, you would face me,” Lumine said, her mouth feeling as dry as sand as she spoke, but she did not waver. 

There was the soft tread of sandals on the dirt, and she started to see Aether come to stand beside her, raising his spear. 

“I’m not one to pick a fight…but I’ll stand beside my sister in this. Forever, and always.”

“Hmm.” Raiden said, and a small smile played over her lips. For a heart-wrenching moment, Lumine thought the ruler of Japan would find a way to move the goalposts on her. To require more training, or that she wait a period of time, or even be able to beat Dalnim after training on the moon for years. 

Instead, Raiden plucked up a wooden training sword, and stepped into the ring. “Very well. I see you, Travelers from afar. Know that in this moment, were you bound to this world’s Fate, you would be granted a Vision in recognition of your dedication to your Eternity, Lumine. But, as you are one unbound by the stars, that is not to be.”

What that meant Lumine didn’t fully grasp, but she did understand one thing: She could finally fight the Raiden Shogun.

“The rules are simple,” the Shogun continued. “We fight until you either yield, or are ruled unable to continue the fight, or until you land even a single blow upon me. With your weapons, you are capable of drawing my blood, but this body does not bleed. Like my youngest daughter’s, it is of my own fashioning.”

“Wait, you’re a robot?” Caelus blurted, then coughed. “I mean, uh Go Lumine! You can like…hopefully not get your ass kicked too badly?”

“Gee, thanks,” Lumine huffed, but she couldn’t be mad at Caelus. Even with Aether and the months of training…they were still up against the woman known as the Martial Paragon, even amongst Archons. She claimed there were two others who had earned that title and that she was the least amongst them, but Lumine didn’t buy that. No one else had chopped an Endbringer in half with just one blow.

“Additionally, I shall not use any of my divine powers or blessings: Only my own skill with a blade, and I shall limit my strength and reactions to those of a mortal,” the Shogun continued, ignoring the byplay. 

“Aether, if you beat her, I’ll have your babies!” Stelle called, which made Aether blush so red that Lumine thought he might pass out.

What made it worse was that Caelus added, “I’ll have your babies if you beat her, Lumine!” 

“Idiot, you can’t have babies, you're a boy,” his sister snorted.

“Sure,” Caelus agreed with a shrug. “But I think the odds of me having kits are better than them beating the Shogun, don’t you?”

“Nah, I kinda want them to, it’d be fun to have Aether’s kits. Probably. At least making them sounds fun,” Stelle mused. 

“Children,” Yae hissed, a great shadowy fox demon appearing behind them. “If you do not silence yourselves, you will BE silenced!” 

Both of the tanuki twins immediately zipped their mouths shut and transformed into their beast forms, though with clothes still on. They did hold up signs with LUMINE <3 YOU CAN DO IT! and AETHERIZE HER BOI TOI

“Paimon believes in you, Travelers! You can do it! Find your way home!” Paimon cheered, then she wilted slightly, and Lumine heard the fairy softly say, “Just take Paimon with you, please…”

“You may begin when you are ready,” the Shogun said, apparently unperturbed by the byplay. 

“Um, no offense Mom, but you can do it, my young Padawan! I trained you well!” Ami called, pumping her fist.

“You can do it, Travelers!” Clara cheered, and set off an extra large Jumpty Jumpty that put giant golden letters FTW in the air. 

“Ready, Aether?” Lumine asked, her heart pounding so hard she could feel the blood racing in her ears. 

Nodding, Aether raised his spear. “No, but let’s do it anyway. At the very least, we’ve got chicken.”

“Heh, for Leeroy then!” 

“FOR JENKINS AND HOME!” Aether declared, then threw his spear so hard that the sonic boom popped Lumine’s ears. She didn’t stand still though, teleporting at the same instant to strike at the Shogun from her right. 

Somehow, the Shogun saw both attacks coming. She didn’t move faster than the eye could perceive, she simply stepped out of the way of Aether’s spear at just the right instant, then countered Lumine’s attack with her wooden sword, striking the flat of Lumine’s blade so hard that she almost lost her grip. The follow-up that struck Lumine’s wrist and then the kick to Lumine’s legs would have sent her sprawling, but she instead teleported, grabbing her sword mid-air and slashing at the Shogun. 

But the Shogun wasn’t there. Even as his spear reformed in his hands, the Shogun had moved on the offensive against Aether, her training sword flicking out to catch him in the side, even as he desperately tried to get distance and use his reach. 

Lumine teleported again to support her brother, but the Shogun’s off-hand took her in the solar plexus and drove Lumine to the ground. The god didn’t even look at Lumine as she knocked the wind out of her, simply continued her assault on Aether, using the flat of her blade to strike Aether’s hands so hard he dropped the spear with a cry, the delivered a kick to his let so that he had his feet swept out from under him. 

Lumine tried to teleport, but she was seeing stars, and couldn’t manage it. She stumbled to her feet, hands blinding, raising her sword and expecting to be beaten near senseless, even as her brother managed to roll himself to his feet and hoist his spear. 

“Well, that didn’t work,” Aether panted. “Ideas?”

“We go in at the same time. Work as a team, together. If we stick together, nothing is impossible,” Lumien said, refusing to back down. She wasn’t giving in. Not now, not ever. 

“Right. You pressure her up close, I’ll use my reach to box her in and force an opening for you,” Aether agreed. 

“TOGETHER!” they roared, and charged. 

The next half an hour was the most painful lesson in humility that Lumine would ever receive. Paimon started crying after only two minutes, begging for someone to help them, but Lumine told her friend in no uncertain terms not to interfere. “This is our fight! Our way home! We can’t give up!” 

In the end, Aether went down first, his body a mass of bruises, passing out on his feet when the strain and pain became too much. Lumine held out only a minute longer, before another blow that sent her tumbling rendered her senseless.

When she came to, Caelus was cradling her as a frantic Paimon flitted about, sobbing and trying to apply bandages to Lumine’s wounds. Aether was already wreathed in bandaids, while Stelle gave him a lap pillow and cried, silent for once. 

“Oh, stand back, and quit making so much noise! Sheesh, they’ll be fine, just give me a second,” Yae harrumphed, striding over and rolling up her sleeves. She took Lumine’s head in her hands, and Lumine gasped as lightning arced over her, her wounds zapped away. 

“That was pretty fucking awesome,” Caelus told her quietly, smoothing away a lock of sweat stained hair from her forehead. “I don’t think I could have fought that hard. Next time…well, next time you’ll have to let me help, somehow. Just try not to pick a fight with the Narukami Ogosho.” 

“I…I’m OK,” Lumine gasped as Paimon tumbled into her arms and squeezed her tightly.

“Paimon was worried sick! Don’t ever make her watch you get beat up like that again!” her guide blubbered, Paimon’s tears soaking Lumine’s already sodden gi. 

“I’ll try not to,” Lumine said, forcing a laugh.  Off to the side, Aether let out a gasp of pain as Yae finished healing him. 

“Guess you don’t have to have kits after all,” Aether said somewhat lamely to Stelle, one eye closed as he winced on her lap.

“Hmm, no. But I’ll give you this,” Stelle said, then leaned down and kissed Aether right on the lips. 

“M-my first kiss!” Aether gasped, his eyes wide. 

Stelle raised an eyebrow. “What, am I that bad at it?”

“Uh, let me double check,” Aether said, then sat up and pulled Stelle into a deeper kiss.

“Huh. I’m not sure how I should feel about this,” Caelus mused, watching his sister and Lumine’s brother play tongue hockey. 

“What? We’ve been making out for weeks,” Lumine said, poking him in the ribs. 

“You, what!?” Aether gasped, jerking away from Stelle in horror.

“Oh, relax,” Lumine said, then groaned and got to her feet, cracking her back and then stooping to retrieve her sword.  

She stumbled over to Raiden, who infuriatingly didn’t have even a single strand of hair out of sorts. The worst part was that Lumine knew for a fact that Raiden had honored her word: She had never moved or reacted faster than a normal human could. She was just that good. Even with teleportation and the ability to throw a weapon faster than the speed of sound, the Shogun had made dueling Lumine and Aether look like child’s play. 

She took a knee before the Archon, and gritted her teeth. “You win this round. But no matter if it takes one more battle, one hundred battles, or even a million! One day, we will defeat you, and make you show us the way home!” 

“Oh.”

Lumine glanced up at the embarrassed sounding word, and found the Shogun was blushing slightly. Ami groaned and slapped her palm onto her face, while the Shogun looked rather abashed. 

“Mom…please tell me you did tell the Travelers…” Ami sighed. 

“Travelers, it seems I must beg your pardon,” the Shogun said, not managing to meet Lumine’s eyes and reaching a hand to grip the hilt of her sword at her waist. “I…may have neglected to properly communicate the true nature of things.”

Lumine blinked, then slowly stood up. “And that is?”

“I cannot show you the way back to your original realm,” the Shogun admitted. “Nor did I ever claim as such. I thought you understood: this bout was merely to both satisfy my own desire to see you grow and face you in combat, and to train you properly that you might forge your own Fates.”

For a moment, the fire blazing in Lumine’s heart went out as though snuffed by the wind. All this time, all this effort…and she’d been chasing something impossible from the first. 

“You…you don’t know a way home either?” Lumine gasped, tears filling her eyes. She sensed Paimon zoom up to her and hug her, and Aether took her hand. 

“I am as trapped in this land as you. Though now, even should a way back to Inazuma present itself, I could not depart. This is now my home, as much as Teyvat ever was.”

Taking a shuddering breath, Lumine steadied herself and tried to clear her head. That was it. They had to find another way.

“You know…this could always be your home,” Caelus said, coming up beside Lumine and squeezing her shoulder. 

“I mean, I guess I’d be OK with you sticking around for a while. I’d even share my stuff and let you stay in my room,” Stelle said casually. “Not your dumb sister though.”

“S-Stelle! Not in front of Lumine!” Aether hissed. 

“What? I’m not mad, good for you,” Lumine said with a roll of her eyes, then focused back on the Shogun. “So…do you have any ideas at all on how we could get back home?”

“Your Fate is not bound to this world. Even I cannot perceive what awaits you at the end of your journey. Only that the time has come for you to continue on,” the Shogun stated. 

“Aw, mom, do they have to go!? They’re my friends!” Ami pleaded. 

The Shogun simply shook her head slightly. “I do not forbid them from staying. However, neither shall I compel them to do so.”

Paimon bobbed up and down beside Lumine, looking uncertain. “Well, Travelers? Paimon is with you, no matter where you go.”

“We need to see our journey to the end. No matter what. If there’s a way home, we have to find it,” Lumine said. 

Aether looked back and forth between Lumine and Stelle, biting his lip. At last, he nodded and said, “I’m with you, Lumine. We came into this world together. We’ll travel it together until the final parting.”

“Do you have any advice on where to travel next?” Lumine asked, very forcefully not looking at Caelus, who was pouting at her. Stelle was just making funny faces at the back of Aether’s head, then doing her best to look maudlin when he glanced at her. The effect was…novel. How had her brother fallen for such a goober?

“I can only tell you to avoid the Tsaritsa’s grasp for now. I foresee that if you find yourself ensnared by ice, your journey together will end. As for the location of the Hydro Archon…she is yet hidden from me. This new Archon takes the name of Focalors, but something is different. Her stars are not the same as the one I knew.”

“As for the Pyro Archon, I have known dozens over the centuries, and there were dozens more I did not meet. Where they will appear I cannot know, but look to the South. Where war brews and the people cry out for a leader, there shall the Archon of Battle ride.”

“Of my old friend and sometimes rival Morax…” the Shogun frowned, and looked away. “I cannot say when. Only that I have grievously wounded his people.  I see that now, with Buer and Barbatos’ help. A reckoning must come before he arrives, else our contract be broken before it is formed. The path forward is one of trials, but it is what Eternity demands. You could travel the broken lands for a time, but do not be sucked into the wars raging there. There will come a time when they quiet. When that happens, seek out the Archaic Lord.”

“Yeah, let me just translate that from Ei-ese to normal people speak,” Yae said, stepping in front of her mistress. “We’re pretty sure the Pyro Archon will show up either in Africa or South America. The cultures there bear the most resemblance to Natlan, based on the books Buer has provided us from her own records. She has basically every Teyvatian reference on file, and has shared them freely.”

“That is what I said,” the Shogun said, sounding mildly perplexed. 

“Sorry, boss, but no it ain’t,” Yae sighed, taking the Shogun’s hand and patting it like an elderly grandparent’s. “You’re good at the stabby stabby, fighty fighty, but not so good at the talky talky people stuff. Which is why you have such a charming and charismatic retainer such as myself.” Yae batted her eyes, and Lumine had to fight back a smile at seeing what looked like a kindergartener claiming such abilities. 

“We straight up can’t get a read on the Hydro Archon. Best we can figure: She’s somewhere in Western Europe. But Italy, France, Spain, and England are a pretty big area to search. And we also could just be wrong: we thought Buer would show up in India for example.”

“As for Morax, and it’s probably going to be Morax since there was only ever one Geo Archon in every version of Teyvat we know of, he’s a slam dunk for China. But when he shows up is anybody’s guess, and he’ll probably be a bit put out that we sort of wrecked the place. Even if the Yangban had it coming.”

“Um, thank you for telling us…but aren’t those super sensitive state secrets?” Aether asked. 

“Er, yeah. Especially since, you know, we plan on leaving, and aren’t loyal to Japan,” Lumine pointed out. 

Yae shrugged. “Meh. Ei trusted you enough to let you around Ami, and she gave you weapons she made herself. She likes you, and as bad as she is at social situations, even I have to admit she’s a good judge of character. Besides, I’m trusting you with the virtue of my two retainers, which is more precious to me than anything!”

Everyone gave Yae an odd look, even as she clasped her hands and took on a simpering tone. 

“Is she talking about someone else?” Stelle asked in a stage whisper. “Because I sold my virtue for a really nice and stinky dumpster full of trash.”

Caelus huffed. “Hey, speak for yourself! I have virtues!”

“Forging IDs and lockpicking aren’t usually considered virtues,” Lumine pointed out, and Caelus deflated slightly until she patted his arm. “Don’t worry, I find thieves’ skills highly attractive.”

She turned to Raiden and bowed. “Thank you. Even if you didn’t show us the way to our home, you shared yours with us. In a different life, I think we’d have liked to stay here with you all. But…but I just can’t stop here. Something calls us onward. Our feet cannot rest until we find our way back to our home.”

“Then depart with my blessing, and know that should you ever wish to return, there shall be a place for you here,” Raiden said. 

Lumine and Aether bowed to her, then slowly turned and walked away.

Caelus and Stelle immediately scampered after them. “You’re leaving now!?”

“Not now, now,” Lumine said with a roll of her eyes. “We’ll pack and stuff, and leave in the morning.”

“So, one last night of passion?” Stelle asked, looking Aether up and down. 

“Yes, we can go dumpster diving,” Aether sighed, and Stelle pumped her fist in excitement. “But we’re not visiting another girls bar for you to ogle the waitresses!” 

“Do you wanna, like…play Diablo 2 and eat junk food until an unreasonable hour at a net cafe?” Caelus asked hopefully. 

“Caelus, I’m leaving first thing in the morning,” Lumine told him, then grabbed his arm. “So fuck yes, gods only know when I’ll get the chance for another epic gaming sesh! Come on, time’s a-wasting!” 

They ran off, leaving Paimon floating in the air behind them with the Shogun. 

“Paimon isn’t sure what to do, Ms. Narukami O’Shogun,” Paimon sighed, her halo drooping slightly. “On the one hand, she is sad that the Travelers are sad, and didn’t find a way home…on the other…Paimon is glad the journey will continue, and she can spend more time with the Travelers! Is…is Paimon a bad friend?”

“I do not think so. Partings are ever bitter sweetness, especially if you know that never again shall you meet your companions,” Ei said, sounding weary herself. She gave Paimon a small smile. “Transcience is to find meaning in each passing moment, to embrace the Eternity in each breath. You are neither selfish nor a poor companion to desire longer with those you treasure.”

“That’s good. You must have had to leave behind a lot of people you really cared about, too, haven’t you?” Paimon put a little hand to her forehead and winced. “Paimon…Paimon just knows she’s forgetting people. It makes her sad sometimes…but Paimon doesn’t want to focus on what she’s forgotten, or she’ll be sad all the time! Instead, Paimon is grateful for the new friends she meets! Like you, Ms. O’Shogun.”

“Mmm. Tell me, Paimon, do you know of the Heavenly Principles and Celestia?” Ei asked, sounding somewhat curious.

The little fairy winced. “Paimon…Paimon doesn’t know…but those names scare her. They make Paimon think she’ll have to abandon the Travelers…that all of Space would separate them…Paimon…Paimon just wants to be Paimon.”

“And so you are, for now. But Fate will reassert itself even upon you in time,” Ei said. 

“Mmm,” Paimon said, bobbling slightly lower and looking gloomy.

“Now, to other matters. As you are departing, will you accompany me upon an excursion to my preferred dining establishment for one final farewell? I shall act as hostess,” Ei offered.

Paimon gasped and instantly bobbed up, beaming in delight. “Yes! Paimon would love to share one last meal! Can we go to Paimon’s favorite place too!?”

“I believe our favorite is one and the same,” Ei said, with a knowing quirk of her lips.

“”WCDONALDS!””

Groggily, Lumine put a few scant belongings in her backpack. She picked up her old baseball bat, and hefted it. The Shogun had left it for her after gorging herself and Paimon silly on WcDonalds the previous night. It was now etched with kanji, and when Lumine uttered a short incantation, would transform into her sword, Homeward Path. She could sense the power waiting within, and tucked it into her pack, the grip sticking up out of it for easy access.

Aether’s spear was disguised as an ordinary walking stick, albeit one similarly marked with special kanji. He had dark circles under his eyes, and a few smears of lipstick not completely cleaned away from his neck and check. He had ended up with Stelle at a Girl’s Bar after all, and ended up staying out even later than Lumine. Neither of them had gotten more than a couple of hours of sleep, but they departed with the dawn regardless. 

“Oof. Paimon is still almost too full to fly,” their guide sighed, patting her belly as she floated beside Lumine. 

“Just how much did you eat?” Lumine laughed, poking at the greedy little fairy. 

“Um, Paimon isn’t sure…but they did run out of Happy Meals, and apple pies. And ice cream,” Paimon admitted. 

They stepped out into the hall, heading towards a side exit. They hadn’t gone far when they spied Stelle and Caelus waiting for them. 

“Oh, Archons,” Lumine groaned, and put her hand over her face, even as Aether gasped, and Stelle waddled forward. Paimon let out a startled cry, and zoomed around the Travelers in a panic. 

“Aether, you can’t leave! I’m pregnant!” Stelle gasped, flinging herself on the much shorter Aether. Her breasts were enlarged and flopping about comically, while her belly looked like she was at least eight months along. 

“Aether, how could you!? You, you should at least tell Paimon if you are in love and going to have kids! Oh, oh, does this make Paimon a godmother?! An Aunt!? Paimon isn’t ready for this!” the fairy babbled, as panicked as Aether was. 

“B-but how! I, I don’t remember…wait, was this after I passed out!? Oh, oh gods! Um, I will take responsiblity, b-but I do have to help my sister get home first! Oh, gods what do I do!?” Aether paniced, pulling at his hair.

“Aether, Paimon,” Lumine said, peeking through her fingers and fighting back a smile. “Even if you did sleep together last night, she wouldn’t be eight months along first thing in the morning. She wouldn’t even be pregnant yet, probably.”

“”What?”” Paimon and Aether said in stereo. Seriously, how could Aether be this clueless? Paimon at least had the excuse of not being human as well as…well, Lumine wasn’t sure how old her friend was, but Paimon seemed like a child most of the time?

“Huh? Wait, how long does it take? I thought like, you did it, and then, you know, poof. Kits!” Stelle said, letting Aether go and clutching at her comically inflated chest. 

“How are you so dumb? Even I know it takes months for a human to give birth, almost a full year!” Caelus huffed. Then he hesitated. “Uh, we didn’t do anything that would, you know…I’m not supposed to leave, but I wouldn’t just abandon you if, I, uh…we didn’t, right?”

“Despite what your sister might have told you, me giving you a hickey won’t get either of us knocked up,” Lumine giggled, which resulted in a very relieved Caelus.

“What’s a hickey?” Paimon asked, sounding suspicious.

Lumine and Caelus both slapped hands over suspicious lumps on their necks. “Nothing!”

“I’ll tell you later, it’s very dirty,” Stelle said confidently, making Paimon gasp. Then she leaned over and whispered to Aether, “You know what a hickey is, right?”

“Stelle, I’m sorry, but…we do have to continue our journey,” Aether said, taking Stelle’s hands and making her blush. “I…I think I’m in love with you, Stelle the Tanuki. Even if you do take me dumpster diving and make me sing karaoke with you at girls’ bars with your bra on my head.”

Wait, what?! Lumine had to do a double-take, and Caelus looked gobsmacked. 

“One day…I hope to come back. But…I do have to find my way home first. At least, for my sister. I just…I can’t explain it…but this is something we have to do. Together.”

Then, Aether pulled Stelle into a kiss, bending her over his arm so far her hair touched the floor. A pillow slid out from under her shirt, along with two bean bags that had been stuffed up there as well.

Lumine glanced at Caelus, then jumped on him and thoroughly kissed him as well, both of them clutching one another tightly. She wasn’t sure what it was about this kooky gremlin who spent all his time stealing things he went back and paid for and picking locks he had the keys too…but she liked it. 

After they all caught their breaths and Paimon uncovered her eyes, Lumine and Aether waved goodbye one final time, and headed towards the doors.

“Your what on his where?!” Caelus demanded, turning to his sister. 

“Oh shut up, we’re both adults,” Stelle mumbled. 

“Yeah, but you’re my sister! I’m supposed to be like, protective and jealous and stuff!” 

“Are you?”

“No, but it’s gross and disgusting when you do it. It makes me wanna puke just thinking of you doing things like that!” 

“How do you think I feel about you macking on my boytoy’s sister where I can see it!? Urk, huuuur, ppuuuuukkkkeee!” 

The door swung shut, blocking out the rest of the very articulate and intelligent conversation. 

But outside was one last obstacle. Ami and the Shogun were waiting for them, with brown, grease-stained bags in hand. 

“Good luck!” Ami said, and pressed some tickets into Lumine’s hands. “Here, these plane tickets will take you anywhere JAL flies. I hope we meet again soon, Lumine! You were the best padawan a sensei could hope for!” 

“I have procured you breakfast,” Raiden said, and proffered the bags to Paimon, who took them eagerly. 

“PAIMON, NO!” Aether and Lumine wailed. 

 But it was too late, Paimon had already opened a bag, and put some of its contents into her mouth.

“What?” she said around a mouthful of food. “It’s just wcmuffins we got last night. They’re cold, but still good!”

“I could heat them if you wi-” the Shogun began, but Ami clapped a hand over her mouth.

“Absolutely not! You know what happened last time you tried to reheat food! They still can’t build where that hotel was!” 

“Ah. Yes. Well. Farewell, Travelers. May your Journey’s End grant you the Eternity you seek,” Ei told them. 

Tickets in her pocket, Wcmuffin in her belly, Paimon’s hand in her left, and Aether’s in her right, Lumine set off on the next stage of her Journey. 

She didn’t know where her path would take her. But she would walk it until its very end. 

Author’s Note:

May your journey lead you onwards…

May I Enjoy My Life: Entry 31

August 3rd, 1100

Don’t tell her this, but Ingrid Venezia is one of my heroes. And, well, one of the few Made Men that I actually respect and like. It helps that she left that life years ago, or, well, more accurately, she tried. We unfortunately met after the Famiglia caught up with her. 

Lisa was one of the first patients I was assigned when I joined Rhodes Island four years ago. Vulpo and kitsune aren’t identical, but we’re close, and Lisa immediately looked up to me as “Sussurro-sensei.” Her mother met me soon after, and I could tell without being told that she had a history with the famiglia. We hit it off right away, both of us being rather passionate Siracusian women who shared a similar goal of keeping Lisa safe and healthy. 

A lot of my early research and breakthroughs were actually tests and trials I did on myself, then replicated on Lisa. No, it’s not the best medicine to do things that way, but oripathy research isn’t exactly a field with a wealth of literature on it. It’s been so taboo for so long that Rhodes Island has managed to pioneer dozens of treatments and patent even more medications, though we give away many of them for a song or nothing at all. 

The real bonding happened when I nearly got into a fist fight, that I would have lost badly, with Warfarin and Kal’tsit when they sent Lisa to Wolumonde to deal with Mudrock and her mercenaries.

Fortunately, Mudrock is a sweetie and things didn’t get too dicey, according to Lisa, but still! You do not deploy a child on a combat mission! I don’t care how powerful her arts are ! I immediately informed Ingrid, who arrived back after Lisa’s safe return due to how long it took to get a message to Higashi and back. If Lisa had still been away, I think Ingrid would have attempted to assassinate Kal’tsit. And Saints and Angels help me, I probably would have assisted her. 

Thankfully, Lisa was fine and had a wonderful time, and apparently didn’t think she was ever in any real danger. Ingrid was still furious, and would have pulled Lisa back to Higashi if it wasn’t for the fact that my treatments were working, and the rest of the world is decades behind Rhodes Island in therapies for the Infected. 

Since then, we’ve kept up a steady correspondence, and when Ingrid is here, I act as her physician as well. Considering all she’s been through, she’s in excellent health, though she has as many scars as any person I’ve ever met.

I was actually giving her an exam, and we were just finishing up. I’d sent her blood off to the lab for testing and taken her vitals, which I was happy to say were as good as always. 

“So, you’re taking Ceracline, Stratakine, and Velunara?” I asked, studying the bottles that Ingrid had brought to show me. 

“Yes, twice daily with the Ceraline, once a day with Stratakine, and I drink Velunara tea nightly,” Ingrid agreed. 

I nodded. They were an osteo health supplement, a muscle mass retention supplement, and a general herbal supplement. “I’m going to add Menacera. It’s a drug formulated here at Rhodes Island that promotes muscle and helps your body absorb that iron, specially formulated for post-menopausal women.”

“Thank you. I like to think I’m strong as I ever was, but when I dueled Celinia yesterday…” Ingrid winced and flexed her shoulder, and knee, where she had on braces and bandages I’d applied. She had some serious bruising there, and I shook my head. 

“You’re not as young as you used to be. Texas is both a lot younger than you and a Lupo to boot. If you try to keep up with her, you’re going to hurt yourself.”

“Yes, I was forced to confront that,” Ingrid said with a sigh. Then she grinned wickedly. “I still beat her three out of five matches. This old fox still has some tricks up her sleeve, yes?”

I grinned back like an idiot. Yes, I shouldn’t celebrate that two of my friends (and patients) were beating the fur off each other’s tails, but, well…it’s not very often a vulpo DOES beat a lupo. And when they do, historically, it’s been Ingrid who was doing the beating. 

“As personally fulfilling as I find that as your friend, as your physician, I still have to tell you to avoid fights. Especially with your allies. However…”

“However, we are going to Victoria,” Ingrid said, her eyes flashing with anticipation. “And there will be many who will be needing lessons as to why you do not underestimate a Siracusian Vulpo.”

“I think it’s more you than me,” I said with a sigh, then shrugged. “But, overall, you’re in excellent health. And approve you to join us for the Victorian Embassy.” 

“Excellent. I look forward to working with you in a more…professional capacity, shall we say?” Ingrid said, and gave me a hug. 

I blushed a little bit. She’s a little younger than my own mother, but not by much. More of an aunt, I suppose. If your Aunt were an ex-mafiosa. I’m not exactly starved for mother figures here on Rhodes Island, but Ingrid is both Siracusian and a fellow Vulpo. Plus…

“There was something I wanted to ask you, in a less professional capacity,” I told her as I set aside my clipboard and took off my stethoscope to signalthe end of the doctor’s appointment. 

“Oh? What exactly is that?” Ingrid said, her ears cocking slightly to one side and hands motioning for me to continue. 

“Well, I…that is, you know that James and I are involved,” I said, blushing slightly. 

Ingrid nodded, getting up from the patient table and taking a seat on one of the chairs. “Yes, that would have been obvious just from how you look at one another. Recent lovers still, I take it?” 

“We met on the 5th of June, which is a long story I will have to tell you sometime, and started dating three weeks later, so it’s been just over a month,” I admitted. 

“He is an alien from another world, yes? That is an interesting story. But not what you wish to ask me, I take it.”

“No, I…” Hesitating, I tried to find the right words, then I sighed, and spread my hands helplessly. “What is it like, to be with a man you know will outlive you? Well, assuming he doesn’t kill himself first, that is.”

“Ah.” Ingrid leaned back, and I saw unashamed tears in her eyes. She took a handkerchief from her purse and dabbed at her eyes. When she spoke, her voice was raw with emotion. “In some ways, it is so wonderful. Cuore mio, he stays the same as the day we met. It has been, what, sixteen years now? I was about your age when we met, only twenty-one, and on the run for my life. I actually threatened his life when we first met. I sought shelter at the shrine from some Higashian Yakuza. I had already killed a dozen, but they just kept coming, and- well, never mind. A story for later.”

Ingrid stared off into space for a bit, then turned to meet my eye. “I do not regret meeting my husband, not one bit. He has given me everything: his life, his heart, and of course, our beloved daughter. But…sometimes, it hurts. It hurts so much, knowing that I will not live to see my Lisa’s children. I will likely not be alive to see her married. I will grow old, and decrepit, they will stay young. Yes, I am in good health…for a woman of my advanced years.”

“You’re not that old yet,” I said gently, but we both knew I was only half telling the truth. 

“No, I have two decades, three if I am very fortunate,” Ingrid said, making a disgusted gesture with her hand and grimacing. “Unless, of course, I get sloppy and get myself killed. There have been many close calls over the years, and that was when I was younger. In that time, my husband, he will look as though he aged a bare handful of years since our wedding day. Lisa will barely be considered an adult when she reaches 30. By our standards, she will be 12, not even ready for marriage or children. It is…hard. So, I must treasure the time I have, yes?”

I nodded, feeling sick. I put a hand over my womb unconsciously. “James…doesn’t know if he’s ready for children yet. I…I want to, it’s just…he wants to take things slowly, and…”

“Ah.” Ingrid used her foot to slide my stool over and we hugged, both of us taking comfort in the other’s presence. “He does not understand. We Vulpo, we live fast, and love hard. Talk to him about this. Tell him, if he is serious, he must marry you before the year is done. I had to have the same conversation with cuore mio. To a kitsune, a decade-long courtship is normal. I do not have that much time. Tell me, his race, how long do they live?”

“Eighty years, though he specifically said it was 78.4,” I admitted. 

“Ah, that is not so bad! The same as a lupo then, or thereabouts,” Ingrid said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “His age?”

“Twenty six, so he is a couple of years older than I am,” I said with a small shrug. “But…if I am honest…I am more worried he will die first.”

“The oripathy? But, he can cure it, no? So why worry?” Ingrid asked, obviously confused. 

I explained the exact mechanism of James’ cure, though I kept it in layman’s terms. When I finished, Ingrid was obviously horrified. “Zanne e artigli! That, that is what they wish my Lisa to learn?! I will rip their guts out and use them for garters!” 

“No, no!” I said, hurriedly waving my hands. “Again, James specifically refuses to teach her! Additionally, she only learned the part of the mechanism that lets him metabolize originium. Slowly, to be sure, and under great strain, but for someone with as long a lifespan as her, this could be centuries of life.”

“Hmm,” Ingrid folded her arms over her chest, then sighed and shook her head, throwing her hands up in resignation. “Fine, fine! I just…I will only be around for so long to protect Lisa. While I am here…I will do all I can. Because when I am gone, who else shall be her guardian?”

“We will, Ingrid. Rhodes Island is Lisa’s home. Perhaps not me, personally, but we all love her here,” I promised. 

“When you are not sending her into active war zones,” Ingrid said with a snort, but she nodded. “So, you worry that you will lose your man, even though he should live longer than you, and thus, you get it from both ends, I think.”

I nodded miserably. “Yes, I just…I don’t know, Ingrid. Am I moving too fast? Am I jumping in with my heart and being foolish again?”

“Yes, of course,” Ingrid said, and my heart sank as fury overcame me. 

“How can you say that?! You married your husband and left your homeland, despite him being a high priest and you a hit woman!” 

“Oh, so you call me foolish now, little girl!? Well, let me tell you- you are absolutely right,” Ingrid said, which took the wind out of my sails as I flipped my ears back in confusion. She took my hands and squeezed them. “Just because something is foolish doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it sometimes, especially when it comes to the heart. We are Vulpo! We are Siracusian! We are women of passion! Let the flames of your heart and your blood burn, Lucia Sussurro. And if you get singed, well, you shake it off and kill that figlio di puttana and then you find another man! But I do not think you will. Your James, he reminds me of my own husband. A good man. Naive, yes, but honest and kind.”

“And tall,” I said with a giggle. Ingrid was tall for a Vulpo at 161cm, but her husband was 175cm. Not as tall as James, but still, not bad at all. 

“Mmm, yes, both standing up…and in the bed,” Ingrid said, and made a gesture with her hands that had both of us laughing. 

After that, I felt much better, even if I had been the doctor in the room. Ingrid left and I went to check on James, who was with Kal’tsit and Warfarin. 

“-no you son of a bitch, what I want is for you to explain, in detail the step by step process for how you cure oripathy! And yes, feelings fucking matter because this is ART and you can bet Lucia’s fluffy ears and tail that those matter when you are using arts!” Warfarin ranted. 

My ears instantly flicked back on my head and I felt a growl rising in my throat as I stalked forward, tail bristling. Kal’tsit was sitting impassively as Warfarin stuck her finger in James’ face and ranted at him, but he just looked mildly abashed. 

“Look, I’ll try again, but seriously, I just…pull on the originium. I can feel it. See it, actually, even with my eyes closed, but I told you all that,” James said, smiling at me and opening himself up a bit so I could step in next to him and glare daggers at Warfarin. 

“But what does it feel like when you do it?!” Warfarin demanded. 

“Well, it feels like…I dunno, using the Force?” James said, making a face. 

“WHAT FUCKING FORCE!?” Warfarin snarled, clawing at the air and baring her fangs. 

“...oh, right. Shit, was Star Wars on my phone? Because we should totally watch that. Just the originals and the prequels though,” James mused, and Warfarin hissed at him. 

“James, answer the evil vampire’s nice questions,” I sighed. “Not the weird alien knowledge.”

He shrugged and nodded. “Sorry, bad joke. Look, it doesn’t feel like anything. I’ve done it when I’m scared, when I’m angry, when I’m tired, when I feel nervous…I don’t know what emotions play into it?” 

“I do not believe this is a fruitful line of inquiry. We have tested and examined Dr. Bones abilities and methods, and there is little more to be gleaned here,” Kal’tsit said, taking a sip of her cup of coffee. 

“But we’ve had a breakthrough! If we can crack both halves of this, we will be LEGENDS. We will go down in history as the ones who cured oripathy!” Warfarin ranted. 

“Only for a vanishingly small segment of the population,” I pointed out. “Doesn’t do us Ancients or you Sarkaz any good.”

“If one can do it, more can. I’m fucking cracking this, mark my words,” Warfarin huffed, slumping back into her chair and crossing her arms over her chest. Was she pouting? Yes, I think she was. The little prima donna. 

“This is because James is leaving, isn’t it? Worried I’ll surpass you in research?” I asked, feeling rather smug about it. 

Warfarin dragged her black painted nails over her face and dragging down her eyelids. “Fuck you, yes. But! And this is the but: If you can cure it, fucking do it. Maybe history will remember me in a footnote. I don’t fucking care at this point. This is my life’s work! I was working on oripathy treatments when your grandmother was a gleam in the eyes of your great-grandfather! And to be so close, after all these centuries…” 

“While I empathise with your feelings on the matter, Warfarin, please do remember some of us have been tackling this particular problem for significantly longer than civilization has existed upon this world,” Kal’tsit said dryly. I actually snorted with laughter, and even Warfarin had to laugh. 

“Fine, fine. But I’m still mad you’re taking loverboy away from me,” Warfarin grumbled. 

“We are going, then?” I asked nervously. 

“Yes. In a few weeks time, we depart. First for Victoria, but that is not our ultimate destination,” Kal’tsit said, and traced a line down a map displayed on the conference table’s projector. “Laterano. I have spoken with His Holiness, and he has agreed to host a conference. This will be the ideal time to demonstrate arts not just to the Victorian Elders or the Queen of Tara, but also to the world at large. And who knows? Perhaps we shall succeed in giving each nation this new ability, and thus rendering the entire question of primacy moot.”

“Uh, that’s not going to cause any problems, is it?” James asked nervously. “You know, with Victoria already trying to kidnap me and stuff…”

“I will be accompanying you directly, along with the finest team of bodyguards. I have also sent Ascelon with a message for the Duke of Caster,” Kal’tsit said. 

Oh. I glanced at Warfarin, but she just grimaced and nodded. “Fucking bitch deserves it.”

“Wait, hold on, you’re assassinating the Duke of Caster?! Isn’t, she like, important?” James asked. 

“Was,” Warfarin chuckled, and Kal’tsit nodded.

“She was. This will send a clear message that Rhodes Island will not tolerate further attempts to abduct you and take this knowledge. In the meantime, Rhodes Island will head for Rim Billington for some needed refit and repairs, traversing the wilderness here. Warfarin and Closure will be in charge during this time.”

“Awful lot of people leaving the landship,” I said, frowning at the map. “Doktah and Amiya in Iberia, us going to Victoria and Laterano…that will be a skeleton crew left.”

“It will suffice, and the Doktah and Amiya will not be long on their mission if the reports they have sent back are any indication. James’s knowledge has, for once, been a general boon instead of a bane to his own well-being,” Kal’tist said, giving James a flat look to which he mumbled, “Sorry.”

“I can hold down the ship, and so can Closure. Rim Billington always has plenty of cases for us to treat, so we can experiment with a lot of new therapies there, too,” Warfarin said with a nod. “It’s a long trip, though. Further to Rim Billington. We’re all the way in fucking former Gaul at this point.”

“Then we must begin the journey as soon as possible. Preparations for the summit must be made, as well as things to take care of here, but I have already given instructions to change our heading to this course,” Kal’tsit stated. 

“Well, then, I guess all that’s left is for me to go on rounds and get as healthy as I can, because I bet they’re going to want me to do a bunch of demonstrations,” James said with a heavy sigh and that boyish grin of his. That did make my heart flutter a bit: here he was, talking about performing a miracle, and he was acting like he was just teaching some simple medical practice. 

“There is one other thing. You will be taking etiquette lessons,” Kal’tsit said firmly, and nodded to me as well. “The both of you. While I trust Dr. Sussurro to be able to be polite and reasonable in most circumstances, I do not believe you have had a thorough education on the proper way to comport oneself when in the presence of the most powerful men and women on Terra.”

My heart skipped a beat at that. “Me?” 

“Yes, you, Lucia.  You’re Mr. Miracle’s arm candy, right? Wouldn’t want some hussy to get her claws in him when he’s out of your sight, would you?” Warfarin snickered, and I felt my tail bristling. 

“He is not that kind of man,” I hissed, but I absolutely would. Look, I know James is about as loyal as they come, but, well, I am the jealous type and I’ve been wronged before. Plus, someone needed to look out for him in situations where a big strong lupo with her two swords and mild autism can’t handle the social jujitsu that the elites throw about. Nona’s fluffy tail, I don’t know that I can handle that right now!

“Well, I’d want you there. Plus, you look good in a dress,” James said with a somewhat more perverted grin, but I grabbed his ass to encourage that sort of behavior. 

“And who will be teaching us how to mind our manners. Not you, I assume?” I asked. 

Kal’tsit shook her head. “No. I have employed an expert.” 

With the press of a button, a door hissed open, and the cutest ball of fluff on the landship sprang forward, accompanied by her mother. 

“Hai! Lisa-sensei, etiquette and manners instructor, reporting for duty, Director-sama,” Suzuran said, bowing politely to Kal’tsit. She was dressed in a formal kimono with tall black wooden sandals. Ingrid was wearing her glasses, which I know she personally hates to do, preferring contacts, and was dressed in what I could only call her battle garb: a formal black suit with a red tie, long black coat, and a gold watch on a chain. She didn’t have her sword visible, but I was certain she was armed. 

“And her assistant. You may call me Signora Venezia,” Ingrid said with a more Siracusian bow of the head with one hand to the breast, the other extended. 

“Well, I guess I can say I look forward to learning from you, Lisa-sensei,” James said, returning the bow slightly awkwardly. 

“Hai! Classes begin immediately!” Lisa said, taking out a paper fan and flicking it open. “First, we will discuss how you sit and stand. You slouch!” Lisa snapped the fan shut, and rapped James on the wrist. “No slouching! Your back is tall, and straight, like the sword of a samurai!”

James immediately straightened up and rubbed his wrist, while Warfarin chortled in amusement.

Fan snapping back open, Lisa covered her face with it while her eyes regarded the Chief of Medicine. “Warfarin-sama, do you require lessons from my class as well? The pain of others is not amusing!” 

Oh my, she was so precious and adorable. And, well, I guess she could be as terrifying as her mother, one day. Right now, she was just too precious.

Languidly, Warfarin stood and gave an overly formal bow. “I am afraid, dear lady, that I am perfectly well versed in court etiquette,” Warfarin drawled in an odd dialect. Normally, she spoke perfect Colombian Victorian without the trace of an accent. “I, in my age and wisdom, simply choose to ignore all that tosh as I do not find it worthy of my time and effort. At least, in most circumstances. My lack of manners comes not from ill breeding, nor an incomplete education: It is simply due to my lack of moral fiber.”

“Hmm, if you need moral fiber, mamma-san is very capable of imparting it, even to one such as you,” Lisa said, fanning herself. Ingrid’s slasher smile and gleaming glasses were so intimidating that I reflexively hid behind James, and he put a hand on my to scoot me back there, even if he was trembling. However, that could have just been his normal tremors. 

“Fufufufu, oh, I am quite certain Signora Spaventata could teach even someone like me a lesson. But this old bat isn’t in the mood for new tricks. I bid you good afternoon, my hidden laboratory awaits me.”

With great dignity, Warfarin turned on her heel and strode off.

“Apply yourself to these lessons,” Kal’tsit told James and me. “I have chosen our foremost expert on manners and etiquette on the landship, and you would do well to listen to Suzuran, despite her tender age.”

“The other option is myself, and I am a less kind instructor than my Lisa,” Ingrid chuckled. 

“Hey, I won’t underestimate the Mighty Suzuran, who brought even the great Mudrock low,” James said.

Lisa puffed up at that, all nine of her tails wagging happily as she blushed and hid behind her fan. “I barely did anything at all, it was Folinic-senpai, Click-san, Ayerscape-san, and Greythroat-san who did most of the work. This humble one merely used her meager arts to assist.”

“That is not what the reports I have read said, but we shall let that matter pass, lest mamma-san lose her temper again,” Ingrid said, ruffling Lisa’s ears. “Now, let us adjourn to our classroom. We will be having an hour of lessons every day. During that time, you will be the students, yes, and Lisa your teacher. I am merely there to assist.”

The classroom turned out to be a conference room, and Lisa spent the text hour making James and I learn how to walk properly. James did slouch, it was true, though Lisa had only a few comments for me, mostly that I did not ‘step gracefully as the cloudbeast, quiet as the musbeast’ which apparently meant that my gait was not ladylike enough. 

By the end of the hour I was somewhat sore and regretting the platform shoes I normally wear. Still, we bowed respectfully to Lisa, and the lesson was over for the day.

“Tomorrow, we practice greetings, then a double lesson, where we practice eating dinner!” Lisa declared.

“Hai, sensei,” James and I said in unison as we bowed, and Lisa beamed at us with pride, which made it all worth it. 

Not that it was that bad. It was rather adorable to have Lisa strutting around and smacking us gently with a fan. I bruise relatively easily, but she wouldn’t leave much of a mark on me. Not because she couldn’t: even as a pre-pubescent girl Lisa was stronger than I am thanks to her kitsune blood. She’s just a gentle soul, and it was more of a way of getting attention. 

After that, James and I really did do a half rotation at the hospital. We do need to get his levels as low as possible, because both in Victoria and in Laterano, he would surely be called upon to cure multiple infected. 

After that was dinner time, and we went back to our private suite. Both of us were dragging by that time, and I really didn’t feel like making dinner. “Let’s just order down to the cafeteria,” I sighed. 

“Well, I could cook,” James told me. “If you don’t mind my own meager abilities.”

“Oh?” I was actually somewhat intrigued: I’d never seen James cook even once in our time together, aside from using the microwave.

“Yep, it’s time to treat you to a real American meal,” James said proudly. I lifted my ears in anticipation, and he declared: “Breakfast for dinner.”

“I…well, I will be interested to see what you make,” I said cautiously. I’d had breakfast foods at other meals, but I half suspected he was going to serve up cold cereal. Not that I’d complain too much, but I’d be disappointed if it wasn’t a hot meal. 

To my delight, that wasn’t his intention at all. He pulled out a box of something he said was “basically Bisquick” and was some sort of mix you just added water too to make a variety of quick breads, or even pizza dough if you were an absolute heretic. 

He then fried up an inordinately large amount of bacon, made scrambled eggs in the grease, fried even MORE bacon (which was good, because we’d eaten half of it as soon as it was cool enough to do so), and then fried the pancakes in the same pan. 

“So, how do you rate my culinary efforts?” James asked as we sat down with plates laden with bacon, eggs, and syrup-sodden pancakes. 

I took a bite. It was greasy, overly sweet (James insisted that the syrup getting all over the bacon and eggs was traditional), and absolutely wonderful. “Well, I didn’t have to cook, so I’ll give it five stars. Bravo!” And we toasted strips of bacon. 

We did the dishes together when we finished. I had offered to do them alone, but James insisted that it was “his job” and I didn’t argue about it too hard. 

“What did you think of our etiquette lessons? How different are they from the manners you learned as a child?” I asked as we worked, standing atop a stool so I was at least at shoulder height with James. 

“Mmm, I guess there might be some points that are different, like what the salad fork is and stuff, but it’s probably not all THAT different from fancy manners back on Earth?” James mused as he scrubbed down the greasy pan. “Being polite is probably the same everywhere, more or less. Besides, our teacher was pretty adorable.”

“She is, Lisa’s a wonderful child,” I agreed. I touched his arm with my wet fingers and smiled at him. “And, thanks to you, she’ll live a long life. You made a real difference to her, and to Ingrid.”

“Yeah, I guess,” James said, continuing to work, his brow furrowed. 

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Well, it’s just…I put her in a lot of danger, didn’t I?” James asked, pausing and giving me a helpless look. “I didn’t think things through again! But, I never thought she could actually LEARN how to, you know, use these weird arts. No one else had!”

“James, you can’t blame yourself for that!” I said, stabbing him in the sternum with a soapy finger. “And besides, if you hadn’t, we would never have realized others can learn to do what you do. Though I wish I knew how. It’s not fair, Elders get everything. Long lives, stronger bodies, and better arts.”

I tried not to sound bitter, but I was. Terra has always been defined by your race. I’d like to think we live in a more enlightened age where all are equal in the eyes of the law and such, but we were almost certainly not created equal. 

“Yeah. I…I forget you’ll only live to be sixty-five,” James said, and I saw tears in his eyes. 

“That is a ripe old age for a vulpo, so if I do live that long, I’ll have you to thank,” I told him, and kissed his cheek. Then, I bit my lip. “But, that does bring up something important.”

“Yeah?”

“James…I really won’t live all that long. Nor do I have that many childbearing years ahead of me, compared to some other races. I know you think we’re moving fast, and we are…but vulpo courtship moves very quickly. My mother and father wed when she was 18 and he was 20 after dating for seven months…and everyone thought they had moved very slowly. Too slowly, to hear nona tell it. She had wanted longer with me and my sister.”

“Oh. So, this is about having kids again,” James said, stepping back slightly, and I felt my irritation flash. 

And, well, as I am Siracusian, I let it out. “Yes, it is! Not today, even if I am scared to death something will happen to you in Victoria or Laterano! But, I do not know how long it is traditional for Earthlings to wait on such things. So I am telling you know, if you are serious about this, I expect a ring on my finger within six months, to be wed no more than six after that, and to be trying for a child at least by the time of the ceremony! And if you have a problem with that, then, then-!” 

I huffed and splashed him with water, which he stepped aside from, and planted my hands on my hips, tail bristling. 

“Look, I’m sorry you’re angry, I didn’t realize-”

“Don’t apologize!” I snapped, stomping my foot on the stool and making it wobble. “You didn’t do anything wrong! Just, tell me, how do you feel. About me, about kids, about marriage, about…all of this!” I waved broadly, still fuming. 

James approached me cautiously, stooping down so we were on eye level. It’s so annoying that even on a 20cm stepping stool, he’s still head and shoulders above me. 

Well, and sexy. Very, very sexy. My heart beat a little faster as he put his arms out and took me gently by the shoulders. I expected him to shake me. Which, well, that might be too far, unless he was playful about it, then it could be fun. 

Instead, he met my eyes and gently said, “I love you, Lucia Sussurro. I do want to get married, I think. Even have kids. And…you’re right. I need to consider your own culture and feelings. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this. I…I will talk to Texas. About how to properly court a Siracusian woman.”

“That is a good idea,” I said, and meant it. Texas might not be the most socially graceful of people, but she has an encyclopedic knowledge of how Siracusian culture is supposed to function. She just…doesn’t grasp the whys. But she is a good resource. I wanted to bring up Ingrid, but Texas was more of James’ friend than Ingrid was. Besides, he should figure out that an older Vulpo woman who was married to a man was a better resource than a lesbian Columbian Lupo who lived in Lungmen. 

“You’re not angry anymore?” James asked gently. 

“What? Why would you think I was angry?” I demanded hotly. 

“Well…you’re yelling, and frowning. And you did splash me,” he pointed out.

I huffed and splashed him again. “Well, then splash me back!”

I had to splash him twice more before he laughed and did splash me. We made quite a mess, and then we had to undress of course, which led to the bedroom. 

After, I lay in bed while James snored, and thought about things. He did seem receptive, which was good, it was just…I don’t know. Why was he so calm about this!? This was the rest of our lives! He should be more…more passionate? I wasn’t sure. I did feel happy, I just…I wasn’t sure if he really loved me when he rolled over so quickly. I expected to have to compromise more, have him tell me he needed a full year, and compromise on nine months or some such. 

Still, I did feel quite warm inside, and I was happy. I wasn’t going to let something so small come between us now. 

Though if I had to remind the slob to put his dirty socks in the laundry hamper one more time, I was going to scream. 

The Second Archon War: Interlude 16

Interlude 16: El Milagro de la Luchadora de Cuernos Plateados

Wind blew across the farm, kicking up dust, disturbing the chickens pecking in the hard earth, and fluttering the cape of a mysterious masked hero, who stood atop an old barrel, surveying the battlefield.

Mateo planted his hands on his hips and pointed dramatically forward. “Hault, evildoer! Or you will face the Silver Masked Symbol of Justice, El Santo!” 

Said evildoer looked up, still chewing her cud. She swallowed, then let out a playful “Mu,” and pranced about a bit, kicking her legs. That made the blue cape she was wearing flutter in the breeze a bit, which made Mateo grin widely. 

“Ah it is the mysterious and evil Masked Wrestler, Vanesa!” Mateo said. His pet cow licked her nose and turned towards him, tail swishing in anticipation. 

“TOPE DE CRISTO!” Mateo yelled, and flung himself at Varessa. The calf obligingly let him tackle her to the ground, rolling over in the dirt as Mateo tried to put her in La de a Caballo, which didn’t work very well on a cow: Varessa was happy to let Mateo sit on her back, but him pulling on her neck didn’t do much. Eventually, Varessa got bored and just bucked Mateo off, then licked the salt off his sweaty face as he lay on the brown grass and laughed. 

“Mati, why are you playing with the cow again?” 

Blushing, Mateo picked himself up and tried to brush off a bit of the straw on him. His older sister Sofía frowned down at him, arms folded over her chest. She was dressed for work, with Jeans and a faded and worn Lady Apache t-shirt. Sofía was in Bivalente, though she had said she probably wasn’t going back to school in the fall, there was too much work to do on the farm. 

“I was, um, I was practicing! And, um, Vanesa was helping!” Mateo tried to explain, blushing furiously. He desperately wanted to be a Luchador when he grew up, and spent every available moment 

Sofía sighed, then tossed a shovel at Mateo. “Well, we’ve got work to do. Go muck out the hen house and collect the eggs. Feed them, too. I’ve got to go help dad in the field. You stay here with mamá and abuela, in case they need you.”

Mateo looked at Vanesa’s back and noted she had a shotgun slung there. It was the same gun they used to shoot coyotes and javalina that got into the fields or one of the animal pens, but it was odd that she had it on in broad daylight. 

“Is…is everything OK?” Mateo asked, clutching the shovel tightly. Vanesa came over and pressed herself against him, and he felt a lot better. The calf had always been friendly and was becoming more so. 

“It’s fine,” Sofía said, tucking a lock of hair back under the ballcap she had on. She gave Mateo a smile, and then lied. “Just some wolves that have been spotted in the area, we’re being careful.”

There were no wolves anywhere near the farm that Mateo knew of. His teacher had talked about reintroducing them into the wild, but Mateo thought that was stupid. Wolves ate cows like Vanesa! As well as chickens and pigs. His family were farmers, but they had plenty of animals, too. Mostly Vanesa’s mom, who they used for milk. She was getting old, though, and Vanesa was probably her last calf. When she ran dry, Mateo knew they’d probably eat her. 

Not Vanesa, though! She was his friend! He was very glad her destiny was to be a milk cow and not a carne asada cow. 

That thought kept him distracted just long enough for Sofía to stride away and jump onto one of their quads before roaring off towards the fields.

Sighing, Mateo took of his mask, then walked over to the gate and opened it. He let Vanesa out with him and told her, “Come on, let’s go feed the stupid chickens.”

“Muuu,” Vanesa said, then tried to lick Mateo’s face. He frowned at her and batted her away, then took off her cape and tossed it with the mask into an old wooden box where he kept his other toys. His mother had made the mask and cape, and the rest of his toys were old and beaten. The family didn’t have much money for new things, especially not toys. But Mateo didn’t mind: He had a Rey Mysterio figure that he treasured nearly as much as the El Santo mask, as well as a Hulk Hogan. But he was a Gringo, so he was the bad guys. That was why Rey Mysterio teamed up with Goku to fight Hulk Hogan and Alexandria. Obviously, Rey and Goku won every time, but only after a fierce battle.  

Mateo hoped it wasn’t the gringos again that his sister had the shotgun for. If it were, the gun would be useless. All the Gringos were capes from the Protectorate. They did “patrols,” and Mateo’s father said they were trying to scare everyone and steal their land to make everyone a part of the Estados Unidos, just like they’d done a thousand years ago before abuela was born. Or maybe it was more than that, Mateo wasn’t too sure. He didn’t remember a time before capes like his parents did. He didn’t even remember a time before the Holy Archons had come like Sofía did. 

Mateo prayed every day that a Holy Archon would come to Mexico, and soon. If it wasn’t the Gringos and their capes, it was the Cartels and theirs. He didn’t know which was worse. 

Mateo fed the chickens, and gave Vanesa a handful of chicken feed as well, which delighted the greedy heifer. He giggled as her wet tongue licked his fingers, then tossed the rest of the fed to the chickens. The rooster tried to pick a fight with Vanesa, jumping and kicking at her while he crowed, but the calf just playfully headbutted the bird and sent him tumbling. The cock picked himself up with great dignity and strutted around like nothing had happened, but then flapped away to perch on top of the henhouse when Vanesa came back for round two. 

“Be nice to Don Pico, he keeps the snakes and the rats away, and we need the eggs,” Meteo told Vanesa. She tried to peer into his bucket to look at the eggs, but he shook his head. “Cows don’t eat eggs, silly. You eat feed and grass.”

“Muuu,” Vanesa said mournfully, and Mateo grinned. 

“I’ll bring you a carrot from inside, we still have some.”

“Muu!” Vanesa squealed and kicked her hooves to show her approval. 

The house was an old stucco building with a red tiled roof. But the paint around the door was fresh, and while the mat by the door was dusty and worm, the building was in good repair and the inside was near spotless. 

Mateo brought the eggs to Mamá and Abuela, but something was wrong. Abuela was sitting at the kitchen table, and she had two candles lit, and was holding her rosary as she prayed. Mamá was at the sink, but she wasn’t washing dishes, just staring out the window towards the field, to where Papá, Sofiá, and Mateo’s uncle Ernesto were working. He stood on his tiptoes, but he couldn’t see anything out the window. 

“Mamá? I have the eggs. Can I give Vanesa a carrot?” Mateo asked, putting the eggs on the counter. 

Breaking her staring contest with the horizon, Mamá turned and smiled at Mateo, reaching down to ruffle his hair. “Yes, that’s fine. You do love that heifer, don’t you? You know she’s not a pet, Mateo.”

“She’s my friend,” Mateo said stubbornly. “We won’t eat her. She’ll give milk, when Doña Muu goes dry.”

“Yes, we’ll have to get Roberto’s bull to visit her soon, she’s almost a year old,” Mamá said as Mateo got a carrot out of the old refrigerator. 

He was just feeding the carrot to Vanesa, when he heard the sharp report of a gun. That wasn’t all that unusual. If there was a javelina, or a coyote, or even just a plump rabbit, shots from the fields were not unheard of.

The staccato sound of automatic weapons fire that followed, however, were not. There was a scream from the house, and before Mateo knew it, abuela’s strong leathery hand was on Mateo’s back. “Go! Take the cow, hide in the old shed! Do it, until one of us gets you, Mati! Hurry!” 

Fear filled Mateo felt fear fill him, and tears spilled down his cheeks, but he did as he was told. More gun shots as he ran, then silence. On impulse, he grabbed his box of toys, his most treasured possessions, and clutched them to himself as he headed for the shed. As soon as he had the shed door open, Vanesa headbutted him, knocking him inside and causing him to fall amidst the dusty old burlap sacks. The door swung shut behind her, and Mateo breathed hard in the darkness, holding Vanesa tightly to him as he cried in fear. 

Soon, he heard loud men’s voices. They spoke Spanish, not English like the gringos. Then, he heard Mamá scream. “No! Take me, not her!” 

The men swore, and he heard Sofiá crying. 

Then, all of a sudden, there was light. Mateo blinked as purple brilliance filled the darkness of the shed. A young woman’s face peered down at him curiously, and all he could do was stare back. 

Then, she knelt down and kissed him on the forehead. “Don’t worry, Mati. It’s going to be OK. A hero is here.”

The woman bent down to the box of toys, and Mati blushed and looked away. She was naked! Fortunately, she wrapped herself in Vanesa’s cape, then pulled on the El Santo mask. There was a ripping sound, though, as it had to go over her two large horns. Then she grabbed the old pair of overalls and shimmied into them. 

“Stay here, Mati. I’ll save them!” the girl promised. Then she opened the shed door and ran outside. 

Mateo peered out of the gap, and watched as the girl lept into the air. A man in army fatigues with a rifle turned towards her, and had just enough time for a shocked expression before she screamed, “ULTIMATE FLYING KICK!” 

There was the crash of thunder, the cartel thug was hit so hard he left his boots behind as he went cartwheeling into the dusty red land cruiser. 

“VILLAINS! EL SANTO IS HERE!” the masked heroine declared, planting her hands on her hips, blue cape fluttering behind her in the breeze. “PREPARE TO FACE JUSTICE!”

Two more thugs rushed out of the house with weapons drawn, and Mateo pumped his fist as the Luchadora roared out, “SIX ONE NINE!” and did a cartwheel so that her legs grabbed the top of one of the men’s head, then flipped backward so that she slammed him into his companion.

“ELBOW OF JUSTICE!” resulted in an elbow drop right into the backs of both men in an explosion of purple electricity, and Mateo couldn’t help but cheer. 

There were gunshots, and bullets burst out of the thin stucco walls of the house, zipping past the masked heroine. She sprinted inside, and there were more cries of “MYSTERIOSO EXPRESS!” and “LA DE A CABELLO!” 

Then, it was quiet. Mateo hurried inside, to find the masked hero helping a shaken Sofiá back into her shirt. Mamá was doing up her bra, and abuela looked dazed, blood matting her hair. 

“Mati!” Mamá cried, and ran over to hug him. 

“Here, let me see that,” the Luchadora said, and took abuela’s head in her hands. Lighting crackled, and abula groaned in pain, but the blood stoped, then scabbed and crusted over. 

“Who, who are you?” Sofiá asked, sounding shaken. 

“I am El Santo! Hero of Justice!” the luchadora exclaimed, standing and swishing her cape while she struck a dramatic pose. 

“But you’re a girl,” Mateo pointed out. “You would be La Santa.”

“Oh.” Their rescuer blushed under her mask, then hastily amended, “I am…La Santa! Um, daughter of El Santo! Now, brave citizens, fear not! I will go and rescue Papá and Uncle Ernesto! Back in a flash!” 

Then, in a crackle of lightning, their savior lowered her head and sped away, legs spinning comically like she was Speedy Gonzales. 

Wiggling out of Mamá’s grasp, Mateo hurried after her.

“Mateo, no!” Mamá cried, but Sofiá scooped up a fallen machine gun, then tossed a second to Mateo.

“Into the car! The keys are in the ignition!” she ordered, and they piled into the cartel members’ Land Rover. 

“¡Hijo de—! ARR! They nearly- me and Mamá! And killed Abuela! Shoot to kill, Mateo!” Sofia snarled as she gunned the engine and raced after La Santa. Despite putting the pedal to the metal, La Santa pulled ahead of them. There were more gunshots, and Sofiá and Mateo had to duck as several impacted the car’s windshield, which already was cracked from bullet holes. 

Sofiá pulled the landrover into a side and jumped out, but most of the cartel members were already down, save for one heavily muscled brute, who was panting and holding onto large piece of scrap metal he was using as a club. He was obviously a cape of some sort, and he was burned and bleeding as he stared down La Santa. 

“Punta, where did you even come from!?” the man growled, shaking his head. 

“The Planet Vegita, home of the Sayians!” La Santa declared, raising one hand in a V sign. “I was sent by my father, El Santo, to-”

Unfortunately, the riveting and completely real backstory (Mateo was certain, it was the same backstory he had come up with for his own heroic persona, El Santo Junior, who had been trained by Goku on Planet Vegita before coming to Earth to help El Santo save Mexico) was interrupted when the cartel cape rudely charged La Santa. She squeaked and jumped aside just as the dry ground exploded into dust, which made Mateo close his eyes and cough. 

There was more crackling lightning, and Sofiá fired off a few rounds, just to be sure. Mateo didn’t think that was a good idea, so he pointed his gun at the sky before he pulled the trigger. 

“Cease fire! The villain…is vanquished!” La Santa’s voice called. 

The wind blew away the dust, and La Santa stood proudly atop the body of the cartel boot, a triumphant grin on her masked face, Electro Vision sparkling from the pocket of her overalls. 

“Where…where are dad and Uncle Ernesto?” Sofiá asked her voice shaking.

“Oh no! PAPÁ! UNCLE ERNESTO!” La Santa screamed, real fear in voice.

They soon found both men. Papá was bleeding badly from his leg which had been, while Uncle Ernesto was unconscious and beaten badly in addition to being shot in the gut. 

“S-Sofiá? Mateo?” Papá croaked from the trampled wheat as the three children ran up to him.

“I-It’s OK, Papá! I, I can save you!” La Santa said, tears wetting her mask. 

He blinked at her in confusion, but she grabbed his wound in her hands, and her Vision glowed. “La Virgen de Guadalupe, please, don’t take my father and uncle yet, give him healing in his time of need,” La Santa begged. 

Mateo and Sofiá watched in amazement as power flowed out of La Santa and over both their father and Uncle Ernesto. Both men shuddered, and Papá cried out in pain, but when it finished, both men were whole, though Uncle Ernesto was still unconscious.

“PAPÁ!” Mateo and Sofiá cried, dropping their guns and running down the short bank to throw themselves on their father as La Santa sat back and sighed in relief. 

“My darlings, it is a miracle you are safe,” Papá cried, kissing them both and squeezing them tightly. Then, they turned to their mysterious masked savior. “And who…who are you?”

“Um, um, I-I am…” La Santa sprang up, looking nervous. “A masked hero for justice! Farewell, citizens! My planet needs me!”

Then she sprinted behind the nearby landrover. There was a crack of lighting, and a moment later, Vanesa trotted around the side of the vehicle, still wearing the El Santo mask and blue cape, and the torn remains of blue jeans, which still had a glowing Vision dangling in a pocket.

“Mu,” she said. Only, it sounded like a person saying moo, not a cow. Then, completely ruining the effect, added, “Nothing to see here, citizens. Just a normal cow!” 

“You can talk!?” Sofiá gasped, but Mateo jumped up and ran to Vanessa and threw his arms about her. 

“You were amazing, Vanesa! A real Luchadora! You saved us!”

“I don’t know what you mean, citizen,” Vanesa said, then licked Mateo’s face. “Hey, I’m hungry. Can we have lunch? Can I try some eggs? I’ve always wanted to try eggs!” 

Papá and Sofiá came over, Papá looking stunned, while Sofiá laughed. “I can’t believe it! Mati, do you know what this means?!”

“We should let her try abuela’s huevos rancheros. It’s only fair,” Mateo said stubbornly, and hugged Vanesa’s neck. 

“It means…it means we don’t have to be afraid of the Cartel, or the Gringos,” Papá said, and reached down to rub Vanesa between her horns through the El Santo mask. “Thank you. You…you saved my family. You saved my life.”

“Of course, Papá! I couldn’t let my family be- I mean, La Santa couldn’t let our family be hurt!” Vanesa declared, tail swishing happily. 

“You’re not fooling anyone, you know,” Mateo told her. “But I won’t tell your secret.”

“Aw, really? Oh, darn it! Is it because I forgot to take off the mask? It’s because I forgot to take off the mask, isn’t it,” Vanesa sighed. 

“I don’t think there’s too many talking cows in Chihuahua. Or the world, for that matter,” Sofiá said dryly. “Come on, let’s go back to the house, and I’ll give you some of my clothes. We’re about the same size, though you’re more…uh, thick. So it might be tight.”

Abula and Mamá took the revelation that their dairy cow had become their newest family member rather well, especially since Vanesa had just saved everyone from certain doom at the hands of the cartel. Vanesa went back to being a girl, though she still had horns coming out of her dark brown hair on her head and a long tail with a switch at the end. 

Abuela and Mamá prepared a huge fiesta, and when Uncle Ernesto woke up, Mateo regaled him with tales of the battle to his uncle’s shock. The other farmers and their families all came over, many of them bringing dishes to celebrate, and an impromptu fiesta was held.

“Can it be my quinceañera!? I always wanted a quinceañera, like Sofiá had last year!” Vanesa begged.

Everyone agreed, and a sparkling purple dress was procured for her, along with a crown of roses for hear to wear. Uncle Ernesto got out his guitar and played, and their neighbor Senior Roberto got out his mandolin to accompany it. There was singing and dancing, and more food than anyone could eat.

Well, anyone but Vanesa. She seemed to have an endless capacity for food, much to the abuela’s delight. 

Close to sunset, however, The Incident happened. Someone had brought over a grill, and begun making hamburgers. Papá noticed and went to scold them and tell them to get rid of them for some reason, but Vanesa had smelled the burgers, and grabbed one before anyone noticed save Mateo. They both prepared their own patties on a bun, which ketchup, mustard, mayo, pickles, lettuce, tomato, and avocado. 

They were just about to take a bite, when Sofiá saw them. She let out a startled gasp of horror, just as Mateo and Vanesa bit into their hamburgers. 

“NO!” Sofiá screamed, which made Mateo jump and nearly drop his food.

“Huh? What is it? Are there bad guys? Should I get La Santa?” Vanesa asked, using one hand to reach for the El Santo mask she had stuffed down the bodice of her dress. 

“No, you…you can’t…You ate it!” Sofiá said in strangled tones.

The party had gone silent, everyone looking at Vanesa and Mateo in horror. 

“What is it? Do I have ketchup on my nose?” Vanesa asked, and reached up, wiping at invisible stains.

“No, Vanesa…that burger…it’s…it’s from a cow,” Mamá said gently, looking like she was going to throw up.

“Uh, yeah?” Vanesa said, sounding confused.

“Duh, we know where burgers come from,” Mateo added.

The look of rage Mamá shot him made him flinch and think she was about to take her chancla’s off, but then she calmed down despite his back sass. “No, Vanesa…that’s…you’re eating…you’re eating a cow. You’re…well, you’re a cow.”

“Wow, I’m delicious,” Vanesa said, then took another big bite as everyone gasped in horror. 

Mateo didn’t know why, and bit off another mouthful of the tasty meat. 

“What? I’m not a cow anymore,” Vanesa said, frowning at everyone. “See? I’m a person now! People eat cows. I’m a people, and I eat cows!” 

“F-Father Gregorio?”Mamá said, turning to their local priest, who looked just as flummoxed as everyone else. 

“Well, er…I will write Bishop Fernadez,” Father Gregorio said, then shrugged. “But…she is a person. Wait…you have not been baptized! Or said holy communion!” 

That resulted in the hasty procurement of a clean basin of water, and Vanesa was brought before Father Gregorio, who had put on his eccumenical collar and a black jacket, though he still had on jeans like when he helped in the fields. Mateo was stuffed into his best Sunday clothes and had his hair brushed, while Sofiá put on a dress and Mamá and Papá put on their own nicest clothing. Everyone stood around solemnly as Father Gregorio blessed the basin, then stood before a nervous Vanesa, while Mamá and Papá put their hands on her shoulders. 

“What name do you give this child?” Father Gregorio asked Mamá and Papá. 

“Vanesa María Juana Aguirre,” Papá stated, looking proud as Don Pico. Later, he would explain that he named Vanesa for the Holy Virgin, Santa Juana de Arco, and their own family name of Aguirre. 

“And what do you ask of God’s Church for Vanesa María Juana Aguirre?” Father Gregorio asked. 

“Baptism.” 

Father Gregorio nodded, then turned to Vanesa. “And what do you want to become?”

“A Catholic Christian,” Vanesa responded immediately, and knelt.

“Why do you want to become a Christian?” 

“Because I believe in Christ.”

“What do you gain by belief in Christ?” 

“Eternal life.”

“Do you reject sin to live in the freedom of God’s children?”

“I do.”

“Do you reject the glamor of evil, and refuse to be mastered by sin?”

“I do.”

“Do you reject Satan and Scion, Father of Sin and his Prince of Demons?”

“I do.”

Taking out a small vial, Father Gregorio anointed Vanesa with oil on both hands.

“Now, recite the catechism,” he said.

Mateo had practiced the Catacism with Vanessa many times, though before, she had just listened as he said it. It seemed she remembered though, as she recited the Profession of Faith perfectly. 

“Then, in the name of Christ Jesus, our Lord, I baptise you with water,” Father Gregorio said, and poured the basin over Vanesa’s head, then lifted her up to her feet and embraced her with a laugh. “Well, everyone, I think you can now all finally say…Holy Cow!”

That brought laughter from everyone, and the party continued on, long into the night. 

This time, no one complained when Vanesa had a second burger. And a third. She would have had a fourth, but they ran out. 

Author’s Note:

The baptism ceremony is somewhat abridged and slightly altered. But, I can promise you that the moment an Enlightened Beast emerged, the Holy See was ready with an edict on how to handle baptising one. They have rites for aliens. No, I’m serious, they do. 

La Santa will return in!

SOL INVICTUS

May I Enjoy My Life: Entry 30

Entry 34, Day 76

Not being special anymore felt…well, nice actually? We all want to be special until we are. Not that anything had really changed: So far, Lisa had been the only one to demonstrate even the tiniest affinity for the same sort of arts that I use, and it had made her comatose after only healing a small cut. I was also abso-fucking-lutely not teaching her how to cure Oripathy. That was not what Our Light needed.

Huh. Our Light. It was a joke and a meme from what I remembered, but now Lisa really is Our Light. It’s one thing for me, an alien, to know all these wacky Isekai Cheat Powers. It’s another for a native to be able to learn it, and a little girl at that. So, Miss Suzuran really is Our Light, who will show the way into beating Oripathy once and for all. 

The day after all the wackiness happened, all the various doctors were huddled in an observation room. You could have heard a pin drop, because I think we were all holding our breath. Lisa was in the OR with Kal’tsit and Sussurro, and they had a patient who had minor lacerations on her exterior patella.

Or in other words, Warmy had a skinned knee, and Lisa was trying to fix it. It was the sort of thing that, under normal circumstances, no one would have bothered using healing arts on, because kids get skinned knees. Alanna was in the waiting room with us, looking mildly baffled that her adopted daughter was getting this much attention. 

“Hey, you’re Bones, right? What the fuck is going on?” Alanna hissed at me, her snake tail swishing back and forth in annoyance. 

“Shh. Lisa’s practicing her healing arts,” I told her. 

Alanna raised an eyebrow at me, but didn’t say anything further as Lisa cutely bit at her tongue, then touched Warmy’s skinned knee. The other girl peered curiously at the white light that came from Lisa’s fingertips, and her knee was miraculously mended. Well, I say miraculously, but honestly, regular healing arts could have done the same thing. 

Only, afterwards, Lisa had to be caught by Kal’tsit and Sussurro, which prompted a concerned Warmy to hop off the table. “Lisa? Are you OK? Really, I was fine! You don’t need to heal me!”

“Gomen nasai, Potlid-chan, I just…I needed practice. You are OK now?” Lisa said somewhat sleepily. 

Warmy flexed her knee, then nodded. “Yeah! I just skinned it because I was running down in the engineering section and tripped, I’m fine, really!”

“That will be all, Warmy,” Kal’tsit said, then turned to the two-way mirror. “Alanna, collect your daughter. Make sure she gets fluids and rest. She may be feeling drained from the healing.”

Alanna bolted and gathered up Warmy, who protested that she was fine, couldn’t she help Gummy with cooking lunch? Before being hauled off for the bed rest she probably didn’t need.

Lisa, on the other hand, was administered a very careful series of tests. Her blood crystal count had been taken with exactness before she’d used those arts, and was measured again immediately after while she lay patiently on the bed prepared for her. 

“.1743 u/L,” Sussurro reported to the observing doctors. There was a collective gasp and sigh. Silence pumped her fist and let out a “fuck yeah!” before turning to high five me, which I returned with enthusiasm. Then I winced, because there are still crystals in my palm that hurt. 

“Zis, it changes everything,” Doctor Whilhelm said, taking off his glasses and rubbing the condensation from his watering eyes before replacing them. “Ve have the breakthrough ve vere looking for, ja?” 

“It’s limited to fucking Elders, though,” Warfarin growled. “I don’t like it. And there’s going to be a lot of unhappy people.”

All eyes turned to Doctor Zivahar, who had his hands clasped behind his back, expression utterly neutral. He hadn’t commented on this breakthrough, and I don’t blame him. Warfarin was a bit more vocal, though her usual attitude was “Sarkaz are fucking stupid” as far as I could tell. Well, OK, her usual attitude was “everyone but me is fucking stupid,” so that didn’t mean much.

“It does limit the application, unfortunately,” Silence agreed. “None of us here are Elders. We have a list of all the Elders on Rhodes Island?”

“We do,” Warfarin said, making a face. “Kal already had a Pegasus try. She was uninfected, and proved incapable of using the Arts, since apparently they burn oripathy, or more specifically, originium. We’ve got two more, but neither of them have much faculty with healing arts, and only one is Infected.”

“Ah, young Miss Nearl, I take it?” Dr. Arizona said with a thoughtful nod. “So, they need to be infected, and an Elder? That does limit the scope of the effect. Then, who could we possibly…oh.”

“Please, enlighten us, Grace,” Dr. Doykos asked curiously. 

Breeze grimaced. “Well, the obvious candidate…would be Loughshinny Dublinn. Her healing arts are famously powerful, she’s an Elder, and she’s Infected. However, given the current political situation, handing her this much power would be…problematic.”

The room fell silent as we all contemplated that. I was no political genius, or, well, all that politically astute. Shit, I had only voted twice in my life in two national elections and ignored local politics. Yeah, yeah, they’re more important, blah blah blah, I just wasn’t very civically minded. However, even my ignorant ass had figured out that Not-Ireland and Not-England were going through the Terran version of The Troubles. And, well, I’m Irish, so I at least know that bit of history. 

“Your Victorian blood is coloring your perspective,” Zivahar said, and everyone immediately listened up and turned to the Lich, who had his back to us, and was gazing at Lisa through the two way glass. “This is not a secret we can afford to keep. Contact the Queen of Tara, and the Speaker of Victoria. Inform them both. Perhaps an Aslan with royal blood could learn this art, but Victoria surely has Infected Elders of their own. Teach both. Teach all we can. This will not save my people. But it will save some. We are doctors. We do not play politics. We save lives.”

We digested that, even as Kal’tsit walked into the room. “Dr. Zivahar has the right of things. This is not a time to hide our light under a bushel. Loughshinny is affiliated with Rhodes Island, as is Vina. We must spread this art to them, and swiftly. Time runs short, and we do not have time to equivocate.”

“Time runs short? What do you know that you’re not sharing with us, Director?” Silence demanded, folding her arms over her chest and frowning. 

“You are all aware that assassins visited Rhodes Island yesterday,” Kal’tsit said, and I glanced at Sussurro, who was still tending to Lisa on the other side of the mirror. “The more well-informed are aware they were Victorians. Specifically, they were from the Duke of Caster. The situation in Victoria deteriorates by the hour. However, Victoria is merely the closest nation. There are others. And they would all be perfectly willing to send their own forces to take Dr. McCoy from us. The next time, they may be quicker.”

There was a growl from the back of the room, and several of the doctors stiffened and turned to see Red, standing by Texas. She had her fangs bared, and she did not look cute in the slightest: she looked ready to kill, her eyes glowing with reflected light. 

“Not kill Bones. Red best. Red protect,” she declared, and Texas nodded her agreement. They weren’t the only ones, either: Just outside the door, Beagle and Fang stood ready. Kroos and Lava were resting, though they were ready to go to war as well. I didn’t know where Rosmontis was, but the amnesiac murder blender was apparently assigned to me full-time now as well. 

“Yeah, but who’s protecting Lisa?” I asked the room. 

“That would be me,” a new voice said, as someone stepped into the room. Texas and Red were instantly between me and the new arrival, both of them with blades in their hands and pushing me back. That caused quite a stir with the doctors, and a wide grin from the woman who’d just joined us. 

“Ladies, there is no need to be so…startled,” Ingrid, also known as Vulpisfoglia said, spreading her arms wide. She didn’t have on her normal operator outfit, instead wearing a lavender jacket with a cream blouse and dark blue ankle length skirt. “I am merely Lisa’s mother.”

“Scarred Lady,” Red snarled. 

“Signora Ingrid,” Texas said, her tone calm, but her steel bare. “I am afraid I have not properly vetted you yet. You will need to keep away from Bones.”

“I am vouching for her, Texas, Red. Stand down: Ingrid was already en route to Rhodes Island to visit her daughter,” Kal’tsit said, stepping forward and frowning slightly at Red, who blushed and lowered her knives. “She would not be present if she did not have my utmost trust. I am well aware of her background as well.”

“I am but a simple Vulpo woman, and housewife,” Ingrid said with a laugh. “And then I arrive to see such a commotion about my daughter! Now, tell me: what, exactly, is my precious Luce needing protection from?” 

“Your daughter, she has manifested a most remarkable ability,” Whilhelm said, adjusting his spectacles with his index finger and clearing his throat. “I do not know how to say zis but-”

Fury flashed over Ingrid’s face, and her scar stretched ghoulishly. She stepped forward in a moment, and though she was a full head shorter than Whilhelm, she somehow managed to loom over him. “Do not tell me she has become involved in this mad experiment to cure oripathy. If you fools are using my Lisa as a test subject, you will learn exactly why the Tancredi famiglia no longer exists.”

Well. So much for “simple housewife.” I don’t think anyone was buying that now. Not that any of us were stupid enough to before.

“Ah, no, not-” Whilhelm cleared his throat again, and looked helplessly to Warfarin, who stepped forward.

“Ingrid, honey, relax. We didn’t teach the kid how to cure oripathy. I mean, I would have-” The death glare that Ingrid turned on Warfarin would have made me wet myself, but it didn’t seem to bother the Chief “-Bones here actually categorically refused to even try. What she did learn was how to cure herself of oripathy. So, you’re welcome. We won’t even charge you extra.” 

For a moment, Ingrid just stared. Then she took a slow step back, and bowed her head. “Apologies. I have been…concerned, about my daughter. A mother’s love, yes? I have heard all these wild rumors, then I arrive and learn there was an attack, and Lisa was somehow involved? Well. I was…alarmed. Now: explain what you mean by Lisa curing herself. In small words: I am a simple woman.”

“I think perhaps it would be best if you spoke with Dr. McCoy and Dr. Sussurro directly,” Kal’tsit said. “Why don’t you join your daughter in the OR, and see what she has to say for herself. Despite her tender age, she already understands not just her circumstance, but that of the Infected. She had embraced the mission of Rhodes Island. I would urge you to respect her wishes, Ingrid. For she represents not just hope for her own cure, but that of many.”

“I am not the mother of many. I am the mother of my Lisa. Nor do I have two flicks of my tail for Rhodes Island’s mission,” Ingrid said, her tail twitching twice in what I had to assume was a deliberate gesture. “But I will listen. I am a reasonable woman.”

Then she turned her eyes on me. I swallowed, and smiled. Those eyes…well, they reminded me of how Texas looked at enemies she was about to turn into mincemeat. They were the eyes of a predator. Ingrid might be a fox in wolf’s clothing…but this was a woman who certainly was deadly. I didn’t know how she stacked up next to Texas…but boy howdy did I NOT want to find out. 

I nodded to Ingrid, then managed, “Right this way, uh, ma’am.” 

Igrid nodded, and along with Texas, I stepped down the hall and into the OR, where Lisa was still on the bed, and Sussurro was talking with her while running more tests. As soon as we entered, Lisa sat up, and her smile lit up the room. 

“Mamma! Non mi avevi detto che saresti venuto!” She looked like she would have hopped off the bed despite her earlier weariness, but she was hooked up to an IV and couldn’t. 

Ingrid hurried forward and wrapped her daughter in a warm embrace. “È stata una sorpresa, mia piccola luce. La mamma non ha potuto resistere alla tentazione di rivederti. Ora, sei stato buono con il dottor Sussurro e gli altri?”

Lisa smiled and stepped forward, and she and Ingrid exchanged pecks on both cheeks. Apparently, they were quite close. “È stata una delizia, signora. Lisa è veramente la Nostra Luce. C'è qualcosa che dobbiamo dirvi, però. Ah, scusami. This is Dr. McCoy, who has also been overseeing Lisa’s treatment.”

I was grateful for the switch back to Victorian, and gave my best smile. “I haven’t been doing much doctoring on Lisa. As a matter of fact, it was her who saved my life yesterday."

“Hmm. Then you are the one, as I thought,” Ingrid said, studying me with hooded eyes and drawing Lisa close again. 

“Mamma! This is Bones-Sensei! He is the Savior!” Lisa said excitedly.

I groaned and rubbed my forehead. “I’m not a Savior, Lisa. I’m just a doctor. Please…don’t call me that…”

“But everyone does! He healed Rope-san, and Vigna-san, and Andre-kun!” Lisa said excitedly. “And Texas-san too! And not just their injuries, he healed them of oripathy!” Lisa scrunched up her face in a look of intense concentration. “He has taught me some of his miracle arts, but only the kind that heals the body. He says he will not teach me how to cure oripathy, but he must! Then I can heal people like him, too!”

I groaned, then got down in front of Lisa, smiling at her and mostly ignoring the look of wrath on Ingrid’s face. Though it did make my knees tremble. Well, more than usual.

“Lisa…I can’t do that.” I slowly rolled up my sleeve, showing the scars on my arm, and the lesions that were still visible. “Every time I cure someone…my oripathy gets worse.”

“Yes, but then it gets better! Like mine!” Lisa said eagerly, trying to wiggle out of her mother’s grasp to touch my arm, but Ingrid had a vice grip on her. 

“Yeah, but…look. I’m not going to do to you what’s been done to me. Not until…well. Come back in a decade when you’re an adult, and we’ll talk about it” I told her. I did not add ‘if I’m still alive.’ “Besides, we don’t even know if I could teach you. The process is painful enough that I won’t be doing another healing for a little while yet. Too often, and it will definitely kill me.”

“Lisa, you need to rest. Let’s get you back to a private room, and you can sleep,” Sussurro said. “We’ll talk more about how to use your new abilities later. Right now, please, do not use them unless myself or another doctor is there with you. The strain on your body is too great.”

“Is it, now,” Ingrid said quietly, and her tail began to twitch back and forth.

“Hai, Sussuro-sensai,” Lisa said. Then she pinched her mother, which surprised me. “Mamma! Do not be angry! I am a big girl now! I’m 14! That’s grown up!”

“Not for you, my Luce,” Ingrid said, chuckling and stroking Lisa’s ears. “You will not be grown up until you are at least 30, perhaps older. And that is many years off yet.”

Lisa looked like she wanted to argue, but just then, she yawned hugely, and Sussurro told her, “Time to rest. You can stay with her, Ingrid, but-”

“No. I will talk with you and this Doctor Bones,” Ingrid said, eyeing me. She kissed Lisa on the forehead. “Dormi bene, cuore mio. La mamma sarà ancora qui quando ti sveglierai.”

Lisa nodded and closed her eyes, and she was asleep even before the orderly came to wheel her to a private room. 

“We must talk,” Ingrid declared the moment Lisa was gone, her tone now as cold as ice. “Not here. Somewhere more…intimate. The Texas can be there as well, if she must. She, at least, I trust to have honor.”

We went to one of the interview rooms, where Ingrid sat, lounging in her chair in a manner that spoke of a predator ready to leap on its prey at a moment’s notice as Sussurro and I sat across the desk from her and Texas took a post by the door. “Alright. Lucia, I will give you the benefit of the doubt. You, at least, very nearly killed That Old Witch when she approved my Lisa for a combat operation. So I know you have some sense. This…man, however. I don’t care if you’re sleeping with him-”

Sussurro stiffened and went red, and I blushed myself

“-do not be ashamed, I am glad you found a man at last. Hopefully, he is worthy of you. But zanne e artigli, you will explain exactly why my Lisa was fighting the Bitch of Caster’s assassins, and why she is suddenly learning mysterious new arts!” 

“Honestly, it was an accident,” I admitted. Ingrid’s eyes laser focused on me, and Sussurro rapped the table with her knuckles.

“Ingrid! Calm down. James is correct: Lisa was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or, well, more accurately, she was in the right place at the right time to save both Jame’s life and my own.”

“Explain,” Ingrid prompted, and Sussurro switched back to Siracusian and gave a rapid fire explanation that involved a lot of waving of hands. Ingrid asked what sounded like some very pointed questions that came with their own jabbing series of hand gestures, then drew in Texas, who responded laconically and without the hand gestures. Guess she really was Columbian at heart. 

“So,” Ingrid said at the end, flicking her fingers and looking at me. “You were all merely having a picnic on the roof, then you were attacked. My Lisa used her arts to save you, because she is a sweetheart and very powerful. Then, she wished to come with you to help treat the wounded. Also something she would do-”

“-and I wanted to keep an eye on her,” Sussurro hastily added. 

“And Lucia wanted to keep an eye on her, I suppose! A convenient excuse,” Ingrid huffed and waved one hand. 

More angry Not-Italian and a lot of gestures, then Ingrid went back to Not-English. “Fine! I will accept this, for now. So, she watched you, James, heal with these incredible new arts. Then, you showed her how, and she learned how to do this!?”

“Well, she did also drop her BOCD when she did it,” I pointed out. “So, really, I accidentally taught her to cure her oripathy.”

“That is not the point!  You teach her a dangerous, untested art!? She has overdosed! Twice now! She could permanently harm herself! She is a child! Five, at most!” Ingrid snarled, pointing an accusatory finger at me while shaking a fist at me. “And do not protest she is 14! If she were vulpo, she would be no more than five!” 

“Honestly, I still have trouble with all these different aging rates. I’d say you’re in your 40s, but I assume you’re like 30 something? Terrans ages weird,” I sighed. 

Then got kicked under the table as Sussurro glared furiously at me. 

“Ah.” Ingrid hooded her eyes and leaned back, a smile on her lips. “So. It is true. You are an alien.”

“I…am from Columbia?” I said hopefully. 

“Mmm. Name three Columbian television series,” Ingrid snorted.

I opened my mouth, more fool I. “Gun…smoke? Wait, shit.”

“James,” Sussurro groaned as Ingrid smirked, and I winced as she kicked me again, though it was half-hearted. Then she rounded on Ingrid. “Do not attack him! He is doing his best for Lisa! He has found a way to cure her! Yes, it is dangerous now, but in a controlled setting, she could be free of oripathy in a year! That is something you never could have dreamed of before!” 

“I will accept this,” Ingrid said with a nod. “You are fortunate this turned out so well for you. I was ready to tear apart Rhodes Island with my bare hands and whisk Lisa back to Higashi instead of continuing on to Siracusa.”

“Ohhhh,” I said, then, because I do learn, I didn’t say more. 

Ingrid frowned at me. “What. Do you have something to say, Signore Alieno?”

“He most certainly does not,” Sussurro said firmly, and I nodded.

“Uh, nope. Anyway, we’re doing the best we can for Lisa’s treatment. We honestly didn’t expect her to pick up on my arts. No one else had to that point, and it sort of came out of nowhere.”

“Oh?” Ingrid frowned, looking at Sussurro. “You cannot use these arts? But you are an excellent doctor, and I have seen your healing arts: They are very good. Then what about Lisa…” Ingrid trailed off, brow furrow. “Ah. She is an Elder. Daughter of my body she may be, but she is her father’s race, thank il Signori. So. That is what has you all hot and bothered. Well. I do not care. She is my daughter. She will not be the subject of any mad experiments. We have paid, and paid well for her care, but if you are going to treat her as a test musbeast, I will take her back to Higashi.”

“That is no longer an option.”

We all turned to Texas, who for the first time, stepped forward, coming to stand beside the desk and regard Ingrid. “Suzuran is now a part of this. Word will spread. Though she cannot cure oripathy, rumors will claim she can. If Bones is targeted, then so is your daughter. I am sorry. She must be kept secure. I have a team on round-the-clock security for her. The very best.”

“That Wolf’s Fang?” Ignrid asked, and Texas nodded. Ingrid snorted, then nodded. “Well, I can accept that pup is competent. Il Signori do not choose weaklings as their servants. I could smell the blood on her the second I entered that room. She is safe?”

“Kal’tsit has her loyalty, even above that of Il Signori. The Director is capable of challenging them,” Texas stated. 

“She would be,” Ingrid muttered, making a face. She shook her head. “Fine. But that doesn’t mean I can’t take her back to Higashi and keep her safe myself. The Kitsune look after their own, and the temple is quite secure. She would be safe there.”

“But is that what Lisa wants?” Sussurro said, reaching across the table and taking Ingrid’s hands in hers. 

Ingrid glared, but didn’t pull away. “She is a child. What she wants is less important than keeping her safe.”

“You can’t protect her forever, Ingrid. You know that,” Sussurro said, and a tear trickled down her cheek. “We both know that you will be fortunate to see her fully mature.”

Ingrid squeezed her own eyes shut, and tears began to flood down her own cheeks. I was a bit shocked by that: I had seen her switch between tender mother and deadly assassin, but I hadn’t expected to see what most would call weakness from her. 

“I will keep her safe as long as I can. I am only 37. My hand is still strong, and my blade still sure.”

“And we both know you don’t have much longer where that will be true. Your courses stopped two years ago. You’re post-menopausal, and we both know that means your strength is on the decline now,” Sussurro said. “How are your check-ups?”

Ingrid flinched. “I am…taking supplements. I have not lost too much muscle mass or bone density. I am still a match for anyone. Even this Texas.”

Texas looked like she wanted to challenge that, but she kept her mouth shut, shifting from foot to foot. 

“I am sure you are,” Sussurro said, giving a small smile. “You’re a match for me, certainly. But Ingrid…do you really want to take Lisa all the thousands of miles back to Higashi, alone? You would have to go through Yan, and you know what they would do for such power. The Lungs can, in all likelihood, learn this ability. And they would have no quibbles with working a kitsune to death to do it.”

“Then I will hire mercenaries!” Ingrid snapped, then deflated again. “No, that is foolish. Yan can offer more coin than even the Kitsune can. Lucia, my daughter…please. She is not in so much danger, is she?” 

“The good news is, if she uses her ability enough, she will cure her oripathy, and signs indicate that will end the danger to her,” Sussurro said quietly. “And, I can personally vouch that every single member of Rhodes Island will put themselves between Lisa and danger. We’ve got a Cerberus watching her now.”

“A guardian of the Underworld? That Fang was not- no. You mean that sciocca child? You would trust Kay with this task?” Ingrid demanded skeptically. 

“Believe it or not, she ripped apart a couple of Trilby Ashers yesterday,” I pointed out. “She might seem like an airhead, but Ceobe’s deadly. Especially if there are snackies on the line.”

“Ha!” Ingrid pulled away from Sussurro and dabbed at her eyes with a tissue from the table, then blew her nose. “There, you have me weeping like an old nonna. Would that I could live long enough to become one…” A wistful look entered Ingrid’s eyes, and she sighed. “Alright. I will trust you. You still have the fire in your veins, Lucia. Though I am not so sure about this man of yours. An alien? Where are you from, Bones?”

“Honestly, Columbia is probably the best answer. Just not so fuzzy,” I quipped. Sussurro groaned, but she didn’t kick me. 

“Well, you have the arrogance, at least,” Ingrid chuckled. “And the optimism. Lisa seems to like you. But…Savior? Do not get such a swelled head.”

“Seriously, I’m a R1. I’m barely even a real doctor,” I protested with a heavy sigh. I looked down at my palms, wincing at the lesions that always hurt. “Honestly…I didn’t think I would ever be in this position. I figured, I’d go into neuroscience, fix some brains, make a lot of money, and find a beautiful woman to settle down with.” I lowered them and smiled at Sussurro, who wagged her tail and blushed. “Well, I managed one. At least I get to help kids like Lisa. We’ll do what we can for her. Even if that means me teaching two queens.”

“Oh? Tell me more of this,” Ingrid demanded, frowning at me.

I glanced at Sussurro, who had her lips pursed. “Uh, should I? I probably said too much already…”

“No, tell her,” Sussurro said with a shake of her head. “If Warfarin or Kal’tsit protest…well. I trust my countrywoman more than most. Ingrid might bluster and yell, but she’s more invested in the mission of Rhodes Island that she has indicated.”

“Only because it was the best hope for Lisa. I gave not a fig for the infected before,” Ingrid huffed, but then she smiled. “If I raise my blade for anyone now, it would be for my Lisa. If that means I must fight for the Infected as well…so be it. Now, what do you mean by two queens?”

I briefly explained our conundrum and how our best bet for an Elder who could learn my arts was none other than the Queen of Tara, and potentially, the Queen of Victoria. I didn’t think an Aslan was an Elder? But, then again, if anyone could, it was genderbent lion Jesus.

Hey, my family wasn’t super religious, but I was into that furry shit even as a kid, I guess. I read all the Chronicles of Narina. Hey, I liked Animorphs better! But, yeah, I can read. At least if there’s a personal pan pizza on the line. 

See, that’s what Hypergryph needed. To give out Pizza Hut if you bothered to read the sixty billion words of lore. Because Aslan Christ, that is too much reading. Did you see how long Near Light was!? Pretty sure it was longer than Narnia. 

“I see. So, this could mean war.” Ingrid considered, then shrugged. “Very well. Fuck the Victorians, and fuck the Tarans. Teach them this art and let them draw heat from my Lisa. I will protect you, if you will keep my daughter safe.”

“You’re volunteering to be my bodyguard?” I asked, a bit flummoxed. 

“Are there tryouts? I will duel The Texas for the honor,” Ingrid said, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

“That won’t be necessary. I’m familiar with your qualifications. However…I would very much like to spar later,” Texas said, her tail swishing back and forth. 

“Ah, little wolf,” Ingrid purred in a sultry voice. Though I’m pretty sure she’s shorter than Texas, unless you count those big ass ears. “Do not underestimate this fox simply because she is getting long in the tooth.”

“I do not. You are very experienced, and your reputation is well earned,” Texas deadpanned. “I enjoy fighting competent opponents. I would not wish to spar if I did not think you were a threat.”

Ingrid shrugged. “Well, I could use the exercise. Very well, I have no head for politics. You tell me who you need killed, and they will die.”

“Hey, no assassinations! There has to be a peaceful solution to this!” I protested. 

Ingrid snorted. “You really are an alien. Even a Colombian would know the only way you have peace between a Taran and a Victorian is to kill them, and their children. Brothers and sisters too, just to be sure.”

I made strangled sounds, but Sussurro stamped her foot. “No, Ingrid! We will find peace! This is Rhodes Island! That attitude has no place here! Perhaps we will have to fight, but we fight for peace, not more bloodshed.”

“Suit yourself. Today, I fight only for Lisa. But I used to do it simply because I was good at it. Some are simply like that. And they didn’t get laid as well as I did to calm me down,” Ingrid laughed. 

That made me cough, but Texas nodded. “I also felt much less inclined to eliminate all my problems after I met my girlfriend.”

“Don’t tell me you're with that deranged Saluzzo,” Ingrid sneered.

Texas flattened her ears. “No. Not anymore. I am with…another.”

“Good. I like you, Celinia, but Lappland Saluzzo is trouble, you mark my words,” Ingrid warned. 

“I am aware,” Texas said with a nod. 

“Fine. The Lady of Scars is at your service, Lucia Sussurro,” Ingrid said with a bow. When she straightened, she had on a slasher smile that stretched her scar again. “Just make sure my Lisa is well cared for, and we won’t have any…disagreements.”

“I can promise you, both myself and James fight for nothing more than a world where she can grow up safe and free,” Sussurro said, taking my hand in hers and squeezing. 

“All little girls deserve a world they can grow up in without fear of war,” I said. Then, something made me say, “Especially the Sarkaz ones.”

Ingrid jerked back at that, and even Texas started, while Sussurro nodded grimly. “Absolutely. A world free of oripathy, where kitsune, vulpo, lupo, and sarkaz all join hands and live in peace.”

“That is…well. That is either the noblest thing I have ever heard, or the maddest,” Ingrid said with a slow shake of her head. “So that is what kind of man you are. I see. Well. Lisa has picked a teacher just like her father. Will wonders never cease? I thought I’d never meet another fool as idealistic as my husband. Well. I will go see to my daughter now. Call if you need me.”

Ingrid left, and I breathed out a sigh of relief. “Am I the only one she scares the piss out of?”

“That’s just good sense, but she’s never frightened me. She’s a mother, first and always,” Sussurro said with a smile.

“It is wise to treat her with caution. But no, I do not fear her. She overestimates her abilities,” Texas said.

“Or you underestimate her. She’s taken down plenty of big strong lupo,” Sussurro huffed.

Shrugging, Texas went back to her post by the door. “She has. She is good. I am better.”

God bless you, Texas. I do hope you’re not overestimating yourself. 

And that there’s a peaceful way out of this. Please, let there be a peaceful way out of this…

May I Enjoy My Life, Cover page

Created by the incredible Froggie!

https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/froggies-art-thread.1113803/

The Second Archon War: Animula Choragi 24

Animula Choragi 24: Want You Gone

Lying in bed with Diane, Furina felt her daughter’s chest rise and fall as she hugged her against her chest. Tears filled Furina’s eyes, and for a moment, she was overwhelmed with joy. 

It’s so different now. I was alone for 500 years. Just a mortal woman, isolated and afraid, with no family, no friends. There, at the end, I started to think of Aether and Lumine as my friends, but…but then they deceived me and arrested me…but now…

Now, neither of us are alone, Focalors said, and Furina felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up and started, as her eye discerned a spirit, formed of pure Hydro energy, kneeling beside Charlotte’s bed. Not that Charlotte was home at the moment. That was probably why Diane was having bad dreams: She wasn’t used to sleeping by herself. 

You can take physical form? Furina thought, stifling a gasp. 

Not quite. Very few can see me. One of which is that annoying brat of a reporter, Focalors said, but her tone was fond. I have no physical substance: indeed, I cannot directly affect the material world at all. But, I can guide it. Mostly by speaking to the souls of those around me.

Leaning down, Focalors gently stroked Diane’s forehead, and the little girl stirred softly. I confess, I never thought of having a family myself. Oceanids are condensed Hydro energy; Egeria was the first to be born as such. I and the other ancients followed, but were not born of her. When humans first arrived, I found them amusing. I have grown to love them, as time has gone on. Though not as you do.

That made Furina blush. Yennifer is…well. I love her dearly. I’ve never felt like this about someone before…I mean, there was a brief time where I was physically attracted to other people, women in particular, but I soon realized that was not how a god should behave, and locked that part of myself away before anything happened. 

Mmm, I never had much desire to take a lover. Oceanids don’t reproduce like that, our numbers swelled as Hydro Mimics were uplifted by mimicking humans and absorbing enough energy to gain sapience. But now…well. Now I have a family to cherish. Two daughters, and two grandchildren. 

For a brief moment, Furina panicked. There was another daughter?! Was she pregnant!? Was Yennifer?! Could they get pregnant?!

Yes to both, though you’d have to be trying. However, I was referring Yennifer as daughter two, and to that scamp Charlotte as my second granddaughter. I am helping her and Barbara with their video as well. I am a Muse of the Arts, you know. So are you.

Yes, the Theater was always one of your domains, and I suppose it’s one of mine as well. We do share music with Barbados. I’ve always wondered about that, Furina mused. 

Godly portfolios tend to be broad, Archons more so. I tend to view it as you and I being the patrons of musicians and singers who perform on stage in a structured and orderly environment, while Barbados is the patron of roving bards and free spirits who are moved more by free expression and less by strict regimens. Not that we don’t get prayers from traveling minstrels and he receives offerings from bands or stage singers. It depends on one’s spirit. I don’t mind sharing, Music is a very broad domain. 

Well, I guess I’m no longer a virgin god. Does that make me a god of mothers? Furina wondered. She half wondered if that meant she’d get a more matronly figure. 

If you want larger breasts, you can just give them to yourself, you know. You could rival or even surpass Beezelbul if you truly wanted, Focalors said in obvious amusement. 

They’d just get in the way. Besides…it doesn’t feel right. This is me, you know? 

Oh I do. Though I did try giving myself a larger bust more than once. I have womanly pride too, you know. But, yes. It didn’t feel right. What’s the saying the mortals here have? Flat is Justice? Well, Justice is certainly flat. 

Mother! Furina had to fight back a smile, despite how scandalized that made her feel. 

Well, at least I made you laugh. Nervous? Focalors asked. 

Yes. I have the power of an Archon, if something goes wrong, but…but I don’t want to use it. I don’t want to bully the people of France, I want to be one of them, Furina admitted. 

Focalors smiled and shook her head. You really are quite human. And yet, you’re also a god. Well, I am, anyway, and I am you, and you are me. 

I just…I’m worried about a lot of things. Not just this. What about Yennifer, and Diane? Will…will they grow old? Will I lose…will I lose the two people I love more than life itself? Furina asked, silent tears rolling down her cheeks. She kissed the top of Diane’s head, though her daughter didn’t stir from her sleep. 

Focalors touched the tears, absorbing them into her own essence. I cannot see the currents of their futures. They are too close to us. Part of us. I will say…there are ways to prevent death. You could find a way to deify them. Beezelbul has done this with her daughters and dragons. Buer with her adopted mother, Dantilion with her daughter. And Barbados…well, it’s hard to see that one’s plans, but the one they call Ziz is a dragon. The other two…their constellations are mortal, but one never knows.

I don’t… I was cursed for 500 years. I wouldn’t do that to my own family. I just…I can’t imagine living without Yennifer now. Or Diane.

Mmm. Pain is a part of a god's life, just as it is a mortal’s. But yes. I agree. For now, however, we must focus on preventing the prophesied end of the world.

Well, I did that once already. How hard can it be? I just have to die again, Furina joked, though she more than half meant it. 

Easier in some ways, harder in others. The Shades and the Heavenly Principles knew us and our game. Deceiving them was a great struggle. This creature called Scion…he may be more powerful in some ways, but he is blind, deaf, and dumb. Fooling him is so easy that Beezelbul did it effortlessly, and she’s a blunt instrument if there ever was one. However…defeating him…he plays by different rules and his power…it rivals if not surpasses the Shades. 

How can we even beat him, then?

Well, I do know how to make a sword that can shatter even the heavenly principles. We just need a hand to wield it. 

Oh. Oh! Wait, the Raiden Shogun! Beezelbul, she-

Yes, yes, I have thought the same. Though frankly, I am no smith. I think instead we should create the materials, then supply them to her. If anyone could forge a blade that could kill even the King of Demons…it would be her. 

I, yes…I can see it now! We need to find a way to build the Oratrice here, then we- but no. That’s for later. Right now…right now I just need to save my daughter. Furina stroked Diane’s hair again, then gently pried her loose, and shimmied out of bed. She stood over Diane by her mother, the two of them looking down on the sleeping child.

Indeed. I think perhaps a certain masked moron could use a dose of my heaven shattering swords. Though I am unfortunately out of Indemnitium at the moment.

We’ll find another way. It must be the people who pass judgment on Iron Mask. Not us. 

An odd thing for the God of Justice to say…but I agree. There is much I disagree with Barbatos about, but the right of mortals to determine their own Fates is one of them. Even if they need our guidance. Focalors reached down and stroked Diane’s…well, not her head, but more her soul. It is like this child here. She needs a mother’s love and guidance. She needs us to procure Justice for her, against powers she cannot wrestle with. In the case of this Iron Mask…we can help the people obtain their Justice, but they must seek it first.

And to do that, first we give France justice…

…then the world. Starting with the Raiden Shogun, I think. The Mao family’s cause is just. 

With one final kiss atop Diane’s head, Furina headed out to help Yennifer and Fortuna plan the day’s events. One way or another…this was all going to come to a head. She just hoped she’d be able to keep her family safe. 

“Good morning, My Lady.” 

Jeanne blinked as her maid turned the lights on and opened the curtains on her bed. She yawned, but managed a smile. “Good morning, Hertha. I think the blue pantsuit today.”

“Of course,” Hertha agreed, setting the tray of coffee and a croissant on the stand beside Jeanne’s bed, then going to the wardrobe to retrieve the requested clothes. It was a bit old fashioned to retain a personal maid and servant, but Jeanne found that the small amount of time saved by having Hertha help her dress in the mornings was time she could put to use serving the people of France. It was the entire reason for the existence of the nobility, after all: You gave them time and resources, and in return, they used their education and resources to take care of the people.

That was how it should work, anyway. That system had broken down long ago. It was why Jeanne and her late husband had renounced their own titles and pursued a life of service, instead of the idle luxury most of their ancestors had enjoyed. Not that Jeanne’s life wasn’t luxurious, only that she was far from idle. 

She ate quickly, reading the folded copy of Le Monde first. The paper mentioned the protest today in a positive light, and gave a scathing critique of the government stance. It even quoted Jeanne herself on Diane, saying “The Mayor of Paris expressed her own support for the cause, stating that, ‘Young Mademoiselle Diane de Fontaine is as much a citizen of France as any other little girl, even if the circumstances of her birth are unusual.’” 

Jeanne nodded and set it aside, picking up next her copy of Libération, which had a thoughtful think piece on the rights of uplifted animals, and even called for further rights of more mundane creatures. As the editor put it, “How now can we say that animals of any kind are not thinking, feeling beings? The time has come to put an end to the antiquated view of animals as mere beasts and property of man. They, too, are our fellow citizens of Earth, and we are their stewards. If we must use them for our own survival, it behooves us to be gracious and respectful in our use of them. We should be kind masters, for now we shall be judged by then when they awaken to their own powers. How would young Mademoiselle de Fontaine feel about such things? She proudly acknowledges that she is still a cat, yet she claims the status of a human. How can we deny her? How can we deny our own humanity by dehumanizing our fellow living creatures? I do not believe we can.” 

And last, with a grimace, Le Figaro. Jeanne expected to find a bunch of vile filth parroting the government’s line that Diane was a creature with no rights, but was shocked at what she found. 

“Having met young Mademoiselle de Fontaine, there can be no doubt in our minds that she is human. Perhaps she has a cat’s ears and tail. What of it? She is a young girl, and very French in her mannerisms and speech. She is charming, polite, and clever, if exuberant as one would expect a young girl to be. She reminds this writer of their own grandchildren. Even if she were but a cat, are not cats our beloved companions and pets? Because of this, Le Figaro must protest the government's stance, and call for the recognition of not just young Mademoiselle de Fontaine’s rights, but the rights of any and all beings that join humanity by the blessings of God.”

“Mon Dieu,” Jeanne whispered as Hertha approached with her clothing. She grinned, holding up the paper, and Hertha answered her smile. “I think we’ll win this one.”

“Everyone seems to be on your side, my lady. I saw Mademoiselle Diane when she visited yesterday: how could anyone say that such a precious child is not human?”

“Only a bigot and a brute who is barely human himself,” Jeane growled, and stood for Hertha to help her out of her nightgown. After a quick shower, Hertha changed her into the blue pantsuit and her matching shoes, and Jeanne prepared to go to war. She tucked her Vision into her purse, took a deep breath, and stepped out onto the stage of politics. 

“Is everything prepared?” Jeanne asked Aremis, her Chief of staff as he approached her. He was a young man for the job, a couple of years Jeanne’s junior, but he brought a great deal of enthusiasm to the role, and he had his doctorate in Political Science from Sciences Po. 

“Yes, Madame. We have all the proper paperwork filed, and Police Municipale are deployed along the route armed with your family arms,” Aremis said, falling into step with Jeanne as they strode through the halls. “Additionally, we have the Marechaussee Phantom deployed with them. They’re spread thin: We only have twenty-one capes right now, excluding yourself and your daughter, but we’ve got them all along the route.”

“Very good. And Furina and Yennifer?” Jeanne demanded. 

“In position already. We’ve got security watching them, but…” Aremis made a face and shook his head. 

“But our untrained capes can do so little against the Mousquetaires and USIP,” Jeanne agreed grimly. “We have to hope it doesn’t come to a fight, but we prepare as though it will. Iron Mask can either bend, or break here. And I fear he is the kind to break before he bends.”

“I won’t say this will be a record breaking protest, but you’d have to look hard to find a less popular policy,” Aremis said with a dry chuckle. “Really, what was the man thinking? Denying an adorable little girl being treated as a human being? The only way he’d be less popular is if he outlawed football.”

“Well, as they say, do not interrupt your enemy while he is making a fatal error,” Jeanne said with a shake of her head. 

Aremis nodded knowingly. “This is certainly increasing your own popularity. You could use this as a springboard for the presidency itself.”

“That’s a hollow position at the moment, and you know it. Mégret doesn’t run this country: Iron Mask does. I’ll settle for removing him and replacing him with someone with sense.”

“Of course. One thing at a time, Madam,” Aremis said with a bow.

There were more last-minute preparations to make, of course. She had a speech to deliver, and she made a few last-minute adjustments, then muttered her lines to herself as she walked back and forth. Jeanne employed speech writers, of course, but she detested teleprompters and much preferred to have notes and memorize her own speeches. 

Soon, she was driven to the start of the route the protests would take to the École Militaire, where Yennifer and Furina were waiting with Diane and several thousand protesters already. Furina being locked up had ruffled feathers and outraged her fans, which were numerous. But to say that everyone was outraged by the refusal to grant a little girl basic human rights was only a very slight exaggeration. 

That wasn’t the only reason so many had turned out, however. Iron Mask had managed to piss off nearly everyone. The French Communist Party had been gaining in strength, even after its narrow defeat by the Monarchists in the August Civil War that had been kicked off by Jeanne’s husband’s assassination. 

She spared a moment to think of Louis. She had loved the man dearly. Their love at first had seemed scandalous: both were the black sheep of their families due to their rejection of monarchist traditions. Second cousins, yes, but distant enough that marriage was legal. It had all seemed so heady at first…Louis first becoming Mayor of Paris, then running for President of the Fifth Republic and looking like he would surely win…they had thought to change the world.

Then the Blasphemies had descended. They had first assassinated Queen Elizabeth II the year prior, so Louis had not been their first target. But Jeanne had never thought she would watch her own husband ripped apart before her eyes, along with a dozen of France’s best capes. 

Now, Jeanne was a cape herself. She would finish the dream that she and Louis had shared: A free France. A Just France. A France that embodied the Spirit of the Revolution, one that had no need for kings and crowns, but only the blood of patriots to keep the Republic strong. 

“Your blood is that of the martyrs that watered the fields of France before you,” Jeanne whispered, hand clutching at the locket she kept with a picture of Louis and herself on their wedding day on one side, and Louis holding Barbara just after she’d been born on the other. 

She smiled, and forcing her expression to one of upbeat confidence, and strode out onto the stage before the crowds. No microphone here, instead she was given a bullhorn and clambered atop a firetruck. Furina, Yennifer, and Diane were below her, but Barbara had clambered up beside her mother. Jeanne smiled at her daughter, of whom she was so proud. Barbara may be pursuing art over politics, but she was still doing her own part. Let it not be said that Jeanne was trying to establish a political dynasty. 

She lifted the bullhorn to her lips, then spotted Iron Mask Himself. He was standing with a group of Mousquetaires, arms folded, his mask impassive as always. Jeanne met his eyes as best she could, then took a breath to speak. 

She was interrupted by the sound of an orchestra. For a moment, Jeanne froze, as the opening notes of “Toccata and Fugue in D Minor” blasted through the city. No. This was impossible. 

She spun, eyes looking about wildly, even as Barbara gasped in horror. Jeanne held out her hand, and the Favonian blade fell into her grasp as she put one arm out protectively to shield her daughter. The crowd began to scream, even as a manhole cover blew off nearby, and three shapes rose up out of the underworld as if on a grave trap. 

Jeanne knew the figures. She saw them in her nightmares nearly every night. One was of elegant filigree, a shining silver face with bronze eyebrows, arms raised as if she were about to begin to dance. The second of clockwork, bowing low as if she had just completed a grand performance. And the last, as lifelike as a real human, save for her cold, lifeless eyes, stood on point, arms spread out gracefully.

The Filigree, the Clockwork, and the Doll. The Three Blasphemies. 

“GET MY DAUGHTER TO SAFETY!” Jeanne roared, and she summoned the winds in truth for the first time. Oh, she had played with breezes and puffs of air before, but now she called upon the tempest, and the tempest answered her. A gale whipped up around her sword, and rage and fury burned in her heart. These monsters had ripped her husband from her, but they would not take her daughter!

“Maman!” Diane wailed from below, and Jeanne felt a pang. That child should not have to witness what was about to happen. No! Jeanne would not allow it. 

“I will not leave you, mère!” Barbara declared, and a bow formed in her own hands out of mist. It was another Favonian weapon, procured at great expense. Now, Jeanne wished she had somehow been able to afford a Japanese God Slaying Bow. They would need that kind of firepower. 

Below them, the Lustria sisters drew their own weapons as Furina summoned her three constructs, hugging Diane to her chest and looking terrified. Jeanne could hardly blame the young woman: She was terrified for Barbara herself. 

All five of them prepared to fight, but the Mousquetaires made no move to help, the cowards. Iron Mask had cocked his head to one side as if in anticipation of the bloodshed. Of course. Jeanne should have known. If she survived this somehow, she would see the man dead. He was the one behind-

The Blasphemies moved, breaking their statue-like poses. Jeanne roared and unleashed the tempest, which Barbara infused with Hydro energy, and Charlotte transformed into a Freeze reaction.

But their attack missed by a dozen meters. Because the Three Blasphemies hadn’t been targeting them. 

They had charged at Iron Mask.

What happened was nearly comical. The capes around Iron Mask, instead of fighting back, dove out of the way. Why should they stand fast? Iron Mask was the strongest of them: surely he could handle it. Iron Mask, arms folded across his chest smugly, didn’t even move to defend himself. Jeanne thought she saw him twitch in surprise at the last, but he didn’t move nearly fast enough. The Clockwork Blasphemy produced an elegant sword that appeared to be made of brass, and cut off his head in a single neat blow that was too fast for a normal human’s eye to follow. 

Before Iron Mask's head had a chance to even strike the ground, the Filigree Blasphemy had caught it, and placed the head inside a steel container. 

Jeanne watched all that happen in shock. For an instant, she considered retreating and hoping the Blasphemies would be content with killing Iron Mask, saving her daughter and friends.

But only for an instant. A decade of nightmares and impotent rage boiled up, and Jeanne drew in as much Anemo as she could manage, then launched herself forward, sword pointed at the breast of the Doll Blasphemy, snarling in rage. 

A bolt of Hydro from Barbara's bow flew over Jeanne and struck her target in the head. The construct didn't flinch, turning lifeless eyes on her. Snarling, Jeanne unleashed the Anemo, which swirled the Hydro. That did rock the Blasphemy slightly, coating the thing in Hydro energy and weakening its already meager elemental defenses.

Still, the Doll's arm blurred at Jeanne, and she barely deflected it with her blade and a resounding clang. She blessed her years of fencing practice as a youth, and the lessons she'd forced herself to give time to since receiving her Vision.

Still, though her reflexes were now superhuman thanks to the blessings of the wind, she couldn't keep up with a Blasphemy. The Doll's leg snapped up and took Jeanne in the thigh with an audible crunch of breaking bones. Jeanne managed to shift her weight to her good leg, but she was certain she was finished. 

That should have been her end as the Blasphemy pierrotted and prepared to kick Jeanne’s head off. Before it could, two things happened. First, bolts of Cryo struck the Blasphemy. The gynoid predated elemental reactions coming into the world, and while it had some defenses against Electro based reactions, Hydro was too new and too powerful. It succumbed to Freeze, locking up entirely.

Then, clear as a bell, Furina’s voice cut through the noise of battle with a single command: LET THE WORLD COME ALIVE!

Jeanne's shattered bones mended instantly, and she was able to put weight on her leg without collapsing. Even the pain was washed away, as a wordless aria from Furina and a new construct, this one some sort of crowned jellyfish, filled the air.

“Jeanne! Together!” Yennifer shouted, charging forward with her own glowing blade, clad in armor formed of pure Hydro energy. 

Even as the Doll Blasphemy shuddered and tried to break itself free, Jeanne synced up to the music, matching Yennifer's stride.  Jeanne could feel power from Furina's song coursing through her, and as one, she and Yennifer slammed their blades into the Doll.

Ice shattered, and with it, the chest plate of the Doll, spilling forth viscous brown oil as the Blasphemy flew backwards and collapsed, twitching.

Jeanne felt a moment of exaltation, only to hear a voice cry out in English her mind, Look out!

The warning came just in time, as the Filigree and the Clockwork assaulted Jeanne and Yennifer. Jeanne was barely able to conjure up a barrier of wind to keep herself from being slain, but the blow still sent her crashing into the pavement, tearing up her suit and skin as she screamed in pain.

Furina's melody soothed that away, and Jeanne staggered to her feet, seeing Yennifer picking herself up a meter away, wiping blood from her mouth with the back of her hand. Jeanne had to spit out a bloody tooth herself, and she feel back into a ready stance for the next attack.

The Blasphemies, however, had no interest in further blows. Instead, they picked up their fallen sister, then dropped back down into the manhole they'd sprung from, even as arrows from Barbara and spells from Charlotte splattered off a barrier of Electro they'd formed.

Growling an oath, Jeanne staggered forward and peered into the blackness, where Toccata and Fugue still echoed up from the depths. For a moment, she considered pursuit, mostly out of a desire for revenge for Louis. Instead, she spit blood after her nemesises, then turned and found her daughter, embracing her tightly.

“Mere! Are, are you alright?!” Barbara gasped, touching the blood still on Jeanne's lips.

“I am fine. My wounds are healed. You? Are you well?” Jeanne demanded, feeling sick as her hands ran over her daughter, searching for any possible hurt.

“They, those things, they didn't touch me. I.. what were they here for? The only one they killed was Iron Mask! But he…”

Jeanne turned about, surveying the damage. Yes, there was the headless corpse of Iron Mask. Though he had been her foe, his manner of death sparked a drop of pity in Jeanne’s heart. Then she squashed it flat.

“He knew,” Jeanne said, stepping forward and pointing at the USIP and Mousquetaries who were cowering away from the body. “So did many of you! You expected this!” 

That damnable Captain Cazeneuve flinched back. “We…how could you say such a thing?! Iron Mask was just assassinated!” 

“By his own creations!” Jeanne snapped. “You saw him! He expected them to kill his enemies! To kill me and my daughter, not him!”

“This is outrageous! Arrest her!” Cazeneuve sputtered. “She is the one who was working with the-”

“Speak a word of untruth, and I will see that the world knows,” Charlotte declared, striding forward with her glowing tome floating over her right palm. “I am the Crystalline Truth, and I will know a lie!”

Captain's mouth worked silently, but no sound escaped. Jeanne turned to her own officers. “Arrest the leaders. I will root out the truth, and get Justice for my late husband, and even Iron Mask. I will see the Blasphemies destroyed. This is the last time they scourge France!” 

Her own orders were followed, even Cazeneuve surrendering along with the more infamous Mousquetaires. They probably wouldn't stay in jail, but with Iron Mask gone, most of them were just bully boys and thugs without much leadership ability. Iron Mask hadn't been one to share power or trust his subordinates. 

When the orders had been given, Jeanne turned to Furina, who was still holding Diane and whispering to the girl. The child was clinging to her mother so hard that she’d sprouted little claws, and Jeanne could see little pinpricks where Furina was bleeding, though she didn’t seem to care. Jeane went over and rubbed Diane’s back, and the girl’s bristling tail slowly relaxed. 

“You were very brave. Thank you for keeping your maman safe,” Jeanne said. 

Diane looked up, and managed a smile. “I am a mighty Huntress! I knew maman was scared, and I must protect her! But…are the Scary Things gone? I…I do not like them.”

“They are gone, you are safe,” Jeanne assured the child, and Diane nodded, then let Furina slowly lower her to the ground, though she clung to her mother’s hand tightly. Yennifer came over and smiled, though she hadn’t dismissed her armor or her blade. 

“There’s no sign of them. I think we’re safe, for now. I just…I don’t understand what happened. Where is Fortuna?”

“Over there,” Furina said, pointing to the blind oracle and her two bodyguards, who had attempted to evacuate her in the fight, only for Fortuna to refuse. Her warning had probably saved Jeanne’s life, and allowed her to get a barrier up in time. 

“You think she knows where they are?” Jeanne asked. 

“She’s a True Seer. She can read Fate and tell us if another attack is imminent,” Furina said quietly. “You speak to her, I’ll take care of Diane.”

Jeanne nodded, and she and Yennifer went over to the woman, who was standing calmly with a bronze knife in her hand. Something about that blade…there was a darkness about it, and Jeanne shivered to see it. It felt like…death. 

“Fortuna, it is Jeanne d’Orleans and Yennifer Lustria,” Jeanne announced to the woman in English. “I wanted to thank you for your warning in the fight, and to ask you some questions, if you don’t mind.”

Her two bodyguards let Jeanne come forward, though Fortuna leaned on the woman. What was her name? Dehya Abbas, if Jeanne remembered from their brief introduction. She was Canadian by birth, though her family was from Algeria. 

“You want to know about the Blasphemies,” Fortuna said. She sheathed her dagger and extended her hand. “Give me your hand. I’ll read your palm.”

Jeanne did so, feeling slightly amused. Five years ago, she would have called this foolishness. But now…well. Magic and miracles were as real as the laws of physics now. Was a blind woman who could read palms and see the future so unusual?

“You will confront the Blasphemies again,” Fortuna said, and Jeanne felt her blood run cold until Fortuna continued, “But not for at least a year. When your husband’s dream is realized, they will come for you and your daughter. You can turn aside from this path now. Retire, and seek no office, and they will leave you alone.”

“Never. I will never live in fear of those monsters,” Jeanne snarled. She took a deep breath. “Can we stop them?”

“I…” Fortuna swallowed, then turned to Yennifer. “Give me your palm. I…I want to see if Fate has been averted…”

Yennifer complied, and Fortuna ran her fingers over her palm as well. Unlike Jeanne, whose reading had been nearly instantaneous, Fortuna did this several times, muttering to herself. Then she dropped Yennifer’s hand and plucked a Magic Eight Ball out of her dress. She whispered to it, shook it, and then stared blindingly at it. Apparently, she didn’t like what she couldn’t see, because Fortuna swore and snarled something in what sounded like Greek, then shook the party favor vigorously before holding it up to her ear and seeming to listen to it. At last, she deflated, then shook her head. “You…if you face the Blasphemies again, Yennifer…you will surely die. Your lifeline just…ends. And it’s the Blasphemies that kill you.”

“And if I don’t?” Yennifer demanded.

Fortuna’s blind eyes darted to about where Jeanne was, though she was looking just past Jeanne’s left shoulder, and licked her lips. “Then…then France falls. And…and perhaps the…the Hydro Archon as well.”

The Hydro Archon? Her fate was tied to France? That was perplexing. Jeanne would have to try to learn more of the mysterious angel that had yet to reveal herself. 

“Well. Then I suppose the blood of the martyrs will water the fields of France again,” Yennifer said grimly. “Don’t tell Furina.”

“No! There has to be another way! I can see the future, I can find a way to stop this!” Fortuna growled, then peered into her Magic Eight Ball again. This time, Jeanne thought she saw a glow of Elemental Energy. Wait, did Fortuna have a Vision hidden in there? That would explain a great deal. After all, Visions were divine blessings from the Lord. If Saint John the Apostle could see the future, why not a modern prophet? 

Interesting. Jeanne had never been terribly religious before. But she was carrying around a blessing of the Angel of the Lord, and she could feel the presence of God whenever she used it. It made sense she would only become more religious now that Christ had sent His angels to protect the Earth.

Though Jeanne had some questions about what sort of angel the Tsaritsa was. One of Lucifers, perhaps. 

“You know, I could use a political advisor like you,” Jeanne said with a shake of her head. “If we could stop the Blasphemies and save France…could you tell me why they killed Iron Mask?”

“He was a Tinker,” Fortuna said, still gazing into her hidden Vision. “His mask is Tinkertech. The next time they appear, expect the Blasphemies to wear his mask. That’s not a vision, I know that from…from my job.”

“Could you read the future to tell where the Blasphemies will be? Where are they now?” Yennifer pressed. 

“Why, so you can go get yourself killed?” Fortuna demanded. She tried to glare at Yennifer, but the effect was ruined as she was staring daggers at a pole instead. Then she sighed. “No, I can’t. I used to be able to, when I was a parahuman. Now my Visions are…less straightforward. If I could read the palm of the one who created them…”

“Iron Mask’s palm! We have the body,” Jeanne pointed out. 

Fortuna nodded eagerly, and they went over to where it was lying in the back of an ambulance. No one questioned Jeanne too closely, and they unzipped the body bag, and Fortuna took the palm, running her fingers over it.

“That’s odd. I don’t…feel anything,” Fortuna muttered. After a moment, she sighed. “I’ve never tried reading a dead man’s palm before. I think with the soul gone, his thread of Fate is severed, and I can’t get anything.”

“A pity. We will have to find them another way,” Jeanne said, but inwardly, she felt more than a little hopeless. All of Europe had been looking for the Blasphemies for a decade. And they were no closer to finding them now than they had been at the start. 

Sighing, she turned to Fortuna. “Please, stay with us a few days longer. There is much I could ask of you for guidance. Even if you cannot tell us where to find the Blasphemies, a prophet would be valuable to have as we try to restore order in France.”

“I…yes. I think…I think I need to learn French. I don’t know if I’ll stay forever, but…yes. I will stick around,” Fortuna said, smiling shyly. 

“Madam Mayor? We need you, the President has called in a panic,” Aremis said, poking his head around the ambulance door.

“Yes. Let’s leave the dead to their due,” Jeanne said, then got back to work. One obstacle was down, but a far darker threat had reemerged. Now wasn’t the time to slack off. 

Yennifer lay in bed, holding Furina against her chest as her girlfriend snored softly. 

Girlfriend. She still felt slightly giddy at the prospect. She’d been in love with Furina since nearly the moment she had laid eyes on her, and now…now she had everything she wanted. 

You will surely die. 

Those words had felt like prophecy. Even thinking them made Yennifer shudder, and press her face into the back of Furina’s neck as she squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn’t die! She finally had everything she wanted!

Furina stirred slightly, and Yennifer eased up her grip. Furina wasn’t exactly a light sleeper, and they’d shared a bed long enough that Furina was somewhat hard to wake just by touching her, but still. 

Should she tell Furina? She was the Hydro Archon. Surely she could do something. 

But if she didn’t die…France would fall. More importantly, Furina could fall. She had seemed very helpless and vulnerable when the Blasphemies had attacked. She hadn’t protected Yennifer. Yennifer had protected her. Furina needed Yennifer to save her and keep her from danger. Not the other way around. She didn’t quite understand, but…her girlfriend was human. And Yennifer now had the horrifying suspicion that the Blasphemies could kill Furina. 

She had to think about this more. Figure out what to do. But one thing was certain: Whatever happened, Yennifer was going to protect Furina. Not just from the Blasphemies, but from everything. 

Even if it meant her own death. 

The Second Archon War: Animula Choragi 23

Animula Choragi 23: Reflections

A classical three-tiered fountain with a wide bottom basin with goldfish splashed amidst a green garden. Music began to play, and holding hands, Furina and Diane appeared, both wearing conservative one-piece bathing suits, both in light blue. Furina knelt in front of Diane to help her remove her shoes, and began to sing, 

As I was walking by the clear fountain,

I found the water so lovely I had to bathe.

Furina lifted Diane up, who puffed up her chest, and together they sang, 

I've loved you for so long, I will never forget you

The music continued as they splashed and played for a few moments, then Yennifer stepped out, holding a pair of towels. Furina picked up Diane and handed her to Yennifer, who lovingly embraced Diane and wrapped her in the towel before setting her down under the shade of a wide oak next to the fountain. 

Now, Yennifer began to sing. Her voice wasn’t as sweet and pure as Furina’s, but there was a raw emotion to it, even tears at the corners of her eyes as she lay Diane down in the grass.

Under the oak's leaves, I lay and dried.

On the highest bough, a nightingale sang.

Now, the whole family sang together, 

I've loved you for so long, I will never forget you

The camera panned up to the tree, and as it did so, night fell. The scene showed a bright apartment window, though this was a stage and not the real bedroom, where Furina and Yennifer were dressing Diane in her night gown. Diane looked hungrily out the window, her tail lashing as Furina and Yennifer sang together, 

Sing, nightingale, sing, you who has a joyous heart.

Your heart is made for laughing... mine can only cry.

They picked Diane up and carried her to a small children’s bed, where together they sang the refrain: 

I've loved you for so long, I will never forget you

They were all smiles and laughter, until the music suddenly stopped. The door was kicked in, and men in USIP uniforms with black face masks armed with guns stormed in. They seized Diane, who screamed and cried, even as Yennifer and Furina were thrown to the ground and handcuffed. Both desperately tried to reach out for Diane, but the much larger men restrained them. Diane was placed in a pet carrier, tears streaming down her face as she reached pleadingly for her mothers. The USIP officer’s badges were clearly visible as they hauled the carrier between them. 

Now the scene changed again, this time showing Diane dressed in rags, huddled in a cage meant for animals. Sniffling, she sang alone, 

I lost my love without deserving it,

Because of a bouquet of roses I refused…

There were wanted posters for Furina and Yennifer on the wall, and Diane reached through the bars of her cage, her small hand reaching for her mothers as she sang,

I've loved you for so long, I will never forget you

The wanted posters morphed into the faces of Furina and Yennifer, who were holding one another in the torn apart bedroom, clutching at a picture of Diane. They sang together, 

I wish the rose were still on the bush,

And my sweetheart loved me still. 

The screen split in half, now showing Diane locked away in her cage on the left, while Furina and Yennifer sang together on the right. 

I've loved you for so long, I will never forget you

An iron mask appeared, exactly like the one the leader of France’s capes wore, splitting the family apart and filling the screen. Words filled the screen:

“Movables by their nature are bodies which can be transported from one place to another, either that they move by themselves, as animals do, or that they can only change place through an external force, as inanimate things do.”

The words and music faded, and now Furina, Yennifer, and Diane appeared, sitting together on a couch. 

“Hello, I’m Furina de Fontaine, the owner of this channel,” Furina said, smiling at the camera. “And this is my daughter, Diane.”

“Hello!” Diane said, waving excitedly at the screen. 

“And, this, um, this is my girlfriend, Yennifer Lustria,” Furina said, blushing as Yennifer took her hand and squeezed it. 

“We’ve been together for only a few months, and in that time, we adopted a kitten that Furina rescued from a dumpster at her job as a dishwasher, before she landed her first leading role,” Yennifer said. 

Pictures of Diane as a younger, bedraggled kitten in Furina’s arms as she was nursed from a glove appeared, a grinning Ling cooing over the pair. More pictures appeared, showing Yennifer playing with kitten form Diane and some yarn, Furina putting a ribbon around Diane’s neck, Diane and Yennifer napping together on the couch.

“To our shock,” Furina said as the focus shifted back to the family on the couch, “One morning, Diane woke us up not as a kitten, but as a little girl!” 

“I was hungry!” Diane huffed, and Yennifer smiled and mussed her hair while Furina laughed. 

“Yes you were! As many of you many know, some animals have begun absorbing elemental energy, and becoming people,” Furina explained.

Yennifer nodded. “This began in Japan with Yae Miko-”

“I have her shoes!” Diane interrupted, and kicked her legs up to show her Hello Kitty Special Edition Yae Miko sneakers off. 

“-yes, Schatzi, listen,” Yennifer said gently, and Diane lowered her legs as her mother continued, “but there are other examples. Other countries have begun to pass legislation recognizing what is obvious: these uplifted animals are people, not simple property.”

“We love Diane very much…and we want to adopt her as our daughter. She’s not a pet, she’s our child,” Furina said, her voice becoming raw with emotion. She had to wipe away a tear, and Yennifer squeezed her hand. When Furina opened her eyes, barely suppressed rage was obvious in her tone. “But our government, at the behest of Iron Mask, has rejected our attempts.”

“Indeed. Iron Mask threatened us, and told us if we didn’t leave France, Diane would be seized by DDPP and potentially even euthanized,” Yennifer snarled. Diane whimpered and buried her face in Furina’s chest.

“Please, we cannot allow this!” Furina pleaded, clutching Diane close as Yennifer put her arm around both of them and squeezed. “We, the people of France, cannot allow this little girl to be put in prison! It would be monstrous even if she were a simple cat, but she’s a child! My child! Please, as a mother, I beg all of you: Join us for the Bastille Day Protests this week! I know this isn’t much notice, but we need everyone who can to come out and stand against this monstrous tyranny!”

“If the Law says that our daughter has no rights…when will it come for yours?” Yennifer demanded. 

More text appeared on screen, giving directions to protests in various French cities and especially Paris, then showed a picture of a grinning Diane in her chef’s hat with her chakalaka, holding the food up to the camera. The words underneath read, “A person, not property.”

Then the video ended. 

Charlotte leaned over Lepine-Pauline. “That’s the final video?”

“I stayed up all night editing it, boss!” Lepine gasped. There were dark circles under her eyes, but she grinned triumphantly. “How’s it look?”

“Perfect. Upload it right away,” Charlotte ordered. “We don’t have much time.”

“You got it, boss,” Lepine agreed, and pressed the button. She sagged in her seat as the progress bar ticked up, but Charlotte held her breath. At last, it finished, and a pop-up appeared saying the video was now live.

Quickly, Charlotte and Lepine shared the video with as many people as they could, and all their contacts in the French Networks, who had been notified by Charlotte that they were making a video. The more traditional and conservative networks that were in Iron Mask’s pocket refused them, but others began showing it with the morning broadcasts. 

“Is there anything else we can do?” Lepine asked. 

“Get some rest,” Charlotte ordered. “Barbs is finishing the editing on my piece on Iron Mask’s confronting us at Disneyland. According to Fortuna, we’ve got a short window to act for maximum success.”

“Do you really think she’s a fortune teller? I mean, she’s using palm reading, tarot cards, and a magic eight ball. That…well, that seems more like a grifter, you know?” Lepine yawned as she stood and stretched. They were in her ‘apartment’, which was a basement she rented out, and it was absolutely overflowing with various half-finished projects, dirty clothes scattered about, and every inch of wallspace was covered in cheesy motivational posters. 

“I think she’s the real deal. Get with the times, Lepine! Magic started being real six years ago when the gods returned,” Charlotte said, and held up her own Vision.

“Um, I guess? Anyway, nap time,” Lepine yawned, then collapsed on her bed, which was half covered in clean clothes Lepine was going to put away ‘later’ and began to snore. 

Charlotte headed up the stairs, but paused, looking back at the computer screen. “Who do I pray to?” she muttered to herself. Then she shrugged. “Well, gods and archons…let this work. And if not…at least let me kick Iron Mask’s ass before we get deported.”

Then she ran back into the sunlight, ready to continue her crusade. 

An Iron Mask with a crown upon its brow dripped blood. Three gears ground down the throne the mask was seated upon, the mask fell, revealing three more masks beneath it. The shattered mask fell onto a set of silver scales, where it was weighed against a golden antler. The antler rose, and the mask crumbled to dust. 

Gasping for breath and covered in sweat, Fortuna jerked upright in bed, fumbling around herself for something to write with, causing the alarm clock to clatter to the floor. 

“Fortuna! Fortuna, what’s wrong?!” Dehya’s voice came, and a hand rested on Fortuna’s shoulder before she whirled and grabbed at Dehya. 

“Get, get pen! Paper! You, you have to write this down!” Fortuna gasped, her heart still pounding. 

“Uh, alright.” There was a bit of rustling, and Fortuna sat back on the bed, closing her eyes and trying to collect her thoughts. Not that closing her eyes did much, it was just a reflex. 

“Ok, go,” Dehya ordered, and Fortuna described her dream in as much detail as she could. When she finished, Dehya grunted. “Alright, don’t take this the wrong way…but what the fuck? Did you keep a dream journal or something before this?”

“I’m an oracle! I used to be a Thinker 12, but now I just have prophetic dreams. Just like I can read palms and tarot cards. You saw me do that!” Fortuna said.

“Yeah, that was…weird. I couldn’t even feel any bumps or marks on them, but you were still doing a full tarot reading,” Dehya said, still sounding sceptical. 

“They weren’t marked! I can just see, no, FEEL, them!” Fortuna said, hands scrambling at her short curly hair. Actually, it wasn’t so short anymore. She’d had it cut in a pixie cut before, but now it was down past her ears. Well, it wasn’t like she could see it. 

“The really weird part was that they were Disney Villains ones,” Dehya mused. “Not really what I expected.”

“The cards themselves don’t matter! They’re just a tool!” Fortuna said, throwing her hands in the air. Then she hesitated. “Well, actually, if I could get someone to bless them with elemental energy…” Hmm, if she could get Furina to bless Eighty^2, and a deck of tarot cards, oh, and a crystal ball- wait, no, not that. Eighty was basically the same thing.

“Whatever you say, Fortuna. You know I’m going to have to report this, right?” Dehya said. “The Big Boss back at base was pretty firm if you said anything weird, we had to tell on you.”

“That’s fine, I’m not entirely sure what this dream means, but…” Fortuna bit her lip. “We need to go find Furina, before the protest starts! I think this shows that Iron Mask will try something, and Yennifer will fight him. Probably defeat him? But there was so much blood, and those gears, the other masks…perhaps Iron Mask has a hidden third trigger?”

“I think we’ll have to wait. It’s one o’clock in the morning,” Dehya said dryly. 

“No,” Fortuna said, standing up. Her sense of urgency wouldn’t let her stay seated. “We go, now. Call ahead. This is important enough that they have to know.” 

“Ok, but you’re showering first and then going in not your birthday suit. Sheesh. Like taking care of a little kid…”

“I’m thousands of years old, you know,” Fortuna grumbled, but she was blushing as she did so. She did end up taking a quick shower and then dressing in whatever it was Dehya handed her. 

Geoff had a car ready for them, though he let out an ostentatious yawn as Fortuna climbed into the back seat with Dehya. “Awful early for a joy ride, Miss Fortuna.”

“I had a dream,” Fortuna said firmly. 

“Is it that one day, little cat girls, and little dog boys will join hands with little French girls and boys?” Geoff asked as he started the engine and Fortuna felt the car accelerate at a gentle pace. 

It sounded like a reference, but it went over Fortuna’s head. “No, it was of blood, death, and masks. I think today is going to be dangerous.”

“Well, I could have told you that, and I’m not even a Thinker 1,” Geoff chuckled, but he kept driving, and that was all that mattered to Fortuna. 

Since it was the middle of the night, it only took forty-five minutes to drive from the resort to Furina’s apartment, where Yennifer met them at the entrance. 

“Not here, come inside,” Yennifer said quietly, and Fortuna let Dehya guide her to the elevator, where they rode up in silence. Once inside the apartment, Fortuna was led to the couch, and Furina pressed a hot cup into her hands. 

“It’s coffee, with plenty of cream and sugar,” Furina whispered. “Please, keep your voices down. Diane is sleeping.”

Fortuna took a sip, and found that even for her tastes, the coffee was shockingly sweet. It seemed Furina didn’t like coffee, so much as she liked hot milk with sugar. A lot of sugar. Still, it wasn’t like Fortuna lacked a sweet tooth, so she took another quick gulp before speaking. 

She quickly laid out her dream, then waited somewhat breathlessly. What would the Hydro Archon have to say about it?

“I’m not the best at interpreting dreams,” Furina said slowly. Fortuna had no doubt, but that was only because Nahida Saeed was the God of Wisdom. “But it sounds to me as though there will be a bloody confrontation with Iron Mask. We…we need to be prepared.”

“If that’s the case, we’re getting Miss Fortuna out of here,” Geoff said grimly. “She’s too valuable to risk.”

“I refuse,” Fortuna said instantly. “I need to be here! This is important!”

“It’s one little girl, no offense,” Geoff said, and Fortuna thought she heard someone growl. Probably Yennifer. “You’re the asset I’m charged with protecting. And the French government are our employer’s allies.”

“You can go back, I’m staying,” Dehya snapped. “And so is she. Fuck, Geoff, how can you say it’s just one little girl!? This is fucking evil and you know it!” 

“If you need to leave, we understand,” Furina said gently. 

“So a Scheiß mach ma ned,” Yennifer muttered. 

“It’s not about understanding, it’s about-” Geoff cut off at a soft sound, and Fortuna turned her head back and forth, trying to hear what was happening. 

“Maman, Mutti…j'ai fait de mauvais rêves,” the sleepy voice of Diane said. 

“It’s alright, dear, here, maman will kiss them away,” Furina said, and Fortuna heard the sound of soft footsteps. 

There was quiet for a moment, then Dehya whispered, “Still think we can turn our backs on this, Geoff?” 

“Fine,” Geoff said with a heavy sigh. “But we’re getting Fortuna out of there the second it turns bloody.”

“You can take her, I’ve got Tinkertech and I know how to fight capes,” Dehya growled. “That’s how Saint Security bills itself, right? The anti-cape security firm?”

“Look, we can take on Delusion holders and low-level parahumans, but Iron Mask? He’s way above our paygrade,” Geoff sighed. “Calvaire! He can copy Vision holders now! He’s one of the strongest capes in Europe, as good as anyone the Knights of Favonius have! Well, aside from Ziz.”

“Esti de câlice de tabarnak! I would fight a Harbinger and have my guts at my feet again before I abandoned that sweet little girl and her mothers!” Dehya responded hotly. 

“You’re letting your blood get the better of your professionalism again,” Geoff groaned. 

“And you’re letting your wallet get in the way of some actual maudites morals!” Dehya shot back. 

“We’ll take whatever help we can get, and be grateful. I, for one, am going to die on this hill if I have to,” Yennifer said, her tone grim. “I’ll do anything to protect Furina and our daughter. Anything.”

For a moment, Fortuna could see. She saw Yennifer, sitting in a chair, her own grave above her head. There was a hole ripped in her chest, and blood flowed out of it like water. It was so vivid and graphic that Fortuna cried in horror, then vomited messily all over herself. 

“Your…your life…will be required,” Fortuna gasped, staggering over to Yennifer and whispering in her ear. “I hope…I hope you do not have to pay, but…”

Fortuna couldn’t see Yennifer anymore, but she felt a firm hand take hers. “If that is the price, then I will pay it. Just don’t tell Furina. She would want to flee to Germany. But I never will.”

“Chalise! What is- Fortuna, we’re taking you to the hospital!” Geoff spluttered.

“No, I’m fine,” Fortuna mumbled, then was taken to the bathroom and hosed off. She had to borrow a dress from Furina. Thankfully, they were close enough that it fit well enough, even if it was somewhat tight across the chest. Apparently, Fortuna had a larger bust than the Hydro Archon. That gave her a ridiculous sense of womanly pride for a moment. 

In the few hours that remained before the protest, Fortuna wracked her brain for what she could do. When she’d followed the False Path, she’d thought she could change the future, and fight fate itself. Now? Now she really could see the future…but felt helpless to change it.

There has to be a way…has to be a way to change Fate, so that the right thing can happen! So I can protect those I love! Even if I have to die, give up everything, there has to be a way to save the world, save Doctor Mother, save Alex and Wyatt, save everyone! Especially Diane and Furina, and poor Yennifer! But how…how can I do it?

She came up with no answers, but Fortuna consulted Eighty a hundred times, never liking the answers she got. At last, she threw down the magic eight-ball in disgust. “I’ll change fate, even if I have to fight it!” 

Lost and alone, you dance upon the stage of the world, refusing to let Fate's strings bind you.

“Who’s there?” Fortuna said, looking around, but she was sitting at a table alone while the others planned. Even Geoff and Dehya were talking with Jeanne’s bodyguards as they went over security. 

Your Ambition is for Salvation, and your dream of the past only you remember; yet your eyes look forward.

Wait…that voice…it was like Furina’s, only…no. “Focalors?”

Though Heaven smites you, you will not bow your head: You meet your doom with laughter.

Wait, was this…? Fortuna barked out a laugh, and stretched out her hand.

Let your Vision Guide you, Daughter of Prophecy. 

Even as it fell into her hands, Fortuna couldn’t see her Vision. Apparently, no one else had noticed her receiving it. She quickly pried Eighty open, pulled out the insides, then sealed the Vision inside the magic eight-ball case. 

“Alright,” she whispered. “Now, we’re going to find a way to keep Yennifer alive…and save the world. This time, I make my own path.”

Author’s Note:

Saving Cat Girls should be everyone’s Justice. 

May I Enjoy My Life: Entry 29

1100/8/2

When I imagined Iberia, I liked to imagine it during its golden age. Ships full of treasure sailing the seas for adventure! Bright lighthouses shining in the darkness, and heroic inquisitors battling the Seaborne, while alchemists in labs created wondrous marvels!

The reality is kind of a major bummer. Everything looks…old. Not like, cool old stuff that’s interesting, but like…stuff that people don’t care about and just doesn’t work right anymore because no one has bothered to try and fix it since it broke, and that was probably like 30 years ago. Instead of dashing sailors and wise alchemists, there’s suspicious peasants who close their doors in your face. There is the Inquisition…but instead of well-manicured heroes, they are suspicious lunatics with the light of madness in their eyes and zero fashion sense. 

That said, they do have awesome enemies!

“APPLE PIE!” I shouted and blasted away another horror from the deep with Leonard. It looked sort of like a weird black and white flower that also crawled on legs. It flew apart in a spray of ichor and body parts, very satisfying. First time I’d really felt anything in days. 

Beside me, Surtr used her big flaming sword to carve two more into itty bitty pieces, while Mudrock splattered three of them with her hammer. She’s a lot taller in her armor, to the point I would have thought she’s twice as big and super muscley! Not that she doesn’t have muscles, I just, you know, imagine more. 

I picked off a couple of stragglers with some well-timed bursts, then turned to an irate-looking liberi woman. She probably wasn’t pissed because of the seaborn parts staining her clothes and face, but I offered her a hankie just in case that was the reason. 

“Hiya! Are you Miss Irene? We’ve been looking for you!” I said brightly. In Iberian, of course. Best to be polite when you meet new people. 

“Who is asking?! An angel, and two devils!? What sorcery is this!? Are you with the Church of the Deep, another servant of these monsters?!” the Inquisitor hissed. She really didn’t have much fashion sense. Black long coat over black pants over a white blouse. No color at all! Even her inquisitorial crucifix was made of ebony wood. 

“Well, if we were, we would have like, sucked your brain out and made you drink squid juice. Or just helped the monsters that you were fighting!” I said cheerily. 

“You can either come with us, or we can kick your ass too and drag you with us,” Surtr huffed, extinguishing the flames of her sword by running a cleaning cloth over it to get the fish goop off. 

Irene, I was pretty sure it was Irene, darkened her expression and glared at us, raising her rapier. “Come then, devils! You will not find this daughter of the Inquisition lacking in battle!” 

“Peace,” Mudrock said, her voice echoing slightly as she stepped between Irene and Surtr. She had hooked her hammer back on her belt, and raised her open hands. “We share the same enemies, Inquisitor Irene. We are from Rhodes Island, and are here to help in Sal Viento.” 

That was the name of the mostly wrecked nomadic city we were standing in the shadow of. It was nestled up against the shore, and we’d found Irene right as she was fighting a dozen little seaborns. I assume they’re the little ones, because they’re boring to fight really and the big ones sounded way cooler. The whole place was even more dilapidated than the fixed villages we’d passed through on our trip here, and this was apparently our first destination. 

“Why should I go with a bunch of mercenaries?” Irene sniffed, but she lowered her rapier, though she didn’t sheathe it.

“So you can help us blow up the seaborne base and save the city!” I said cheerily. Then glanced up at the rust and big holes in the old girl and winced. “Well, um, what’s left of it, anyway. Look, I’ve got like, 100 kilos of explosives and a hankering for mayhem, and I heard you were a fun girl to party with! As long as the party involved blowing up sea monsters.”

“I…what?” Irene said, blinking at me in surprise. 

I slung Leonard over my back with Victor and put an arm around Irene. She glanced at me suspiciously, but I just grinned at her. “Look, we all want the same thing, right? To not turn into orange goop!” 

“Orange goop?” Irene asked, still sounding uncertain. “I do not understand. What do you mean?”

“Oh, like in Sekiryū Gōshōten where EDEN tries to enact human instrumentality?” Surtr piped up, and I pointed to her and made a little finger gun bang. 

“Exactly! So, we enact the same plan as Crimson Fist, and blow them to hell and gone! I’ve already booked their reservations, you know.”

“Reservations?” Irene asked, but a smile was twitching at her lips. 

“At Hell’s most exclusive hotel! Hotel du Soufre, where evil little seaborns dream to go when they die,” I sighed dramatically.

“You are a very amusing Sankta, but I am afraid that I alone cannot sanction this, even if I were inclined to work with you,” Irene said, slipping from my hug, though I wasn’t trying very hard to collar her. “We must talk to my Master, Dario.”

“Oh yeah, he’s with Leader at our field base! He’s in the time-out shirt with Gladia,” I said helpfully.

“Time out shirt? Sankta, you must begin speaking sense, or I will have to kill you simply to alleviate my headache,” Irene sighed. 

“She’s Exusiai, aka, a pain in my ass. You can call me Surtr, and the big quiet one is Mudrock. Mudmud to her friends.”

“Greetings,” Mudrock said, pressing her fists together and inclining her head slightly. 

“D’oh! Thanks, Surtr! Guess I forgot my manners. Yeah, um, your boss is uh…tied up back at base with Gladia while Leader and Amiya talk some sense into them,” I explained. 

No, really, he was literally tied up. We’d had to stop him from blowing the brains out of some poor souls who’d stumbled on the seaborn. Our medics were checking them to make sure they weren’t actually contaminated with seaborn parts. If they were…well, back to plan blowing their brains out, but you can’t just like, do that because you suspect they might be evil sea monsters or cultists. You need evidence and stuff, I saw it on TV. 

Then I grinned at Irene. “But we can totally blow the seanborn the fuck up first, then go see them.”

“Can we?” Irene asked, raising an eyebrow.

Surtr and I gestured with jazz hands towards Mudrock, who helpfully turned around and showed off the 100 kilos of plastic explosives she was carrying. “Ta-da,” she said, but without much verve. We had to work on that girl’s presentation!

Irene bit her lip, then glanced at the seaborn corpses. “You…truly know where the rot at the center of this city lies? How?”

“Well, it’s not because we’re seaborn. We’ve got the Ghost of Babel with us,” I said, dropping my voice back to a conspiratorial whisper.

Irene’s eyes went wide. “You- the Ghost of Babel!? You mean, your leader…it is the one they call…the Doctor?”

“Yep! Amiya’s here too! She’s like, the actual leader, but Doktah is the Leader as far as I’m concerned!” I said, and Surtr and Mudrock both nodded in agreement. 

“I…” Irene put a hand to her head. “That would explain how you have such information…and you have approval from Dario?” 

“Well…we don’t have unapproval,” I said with a shrug and a grin.

“We got orders to ‘save civilians and exterminate seaborn.’ More or less. So I think blowing up a musty old church fits the bill,” Surtr said. 

“Yeah! And if we do it right, everyone will give us tons of awards and stuff, and we can go on to fight bigger, meaner seaborns! Like the ones on that legendary dreadnought. That sounds fun!” I said brightly. 

“Wait, legendary dreadnought? You don’t mean the Stultifera Navis?!” Irene gasped. 

“That sounds right,” I said, tapping my lip with Scardy. I shrugged. “But, you’re an Inquisitor, right? So, with your permission, we can totally do some unplanned demolition and kill the bad guys!” 

Irene looked back and forth between the three of us. “This is beginning to sound suspiciously like unsanctioned terrorist activity.”

“Well, it won’t be if you sanction it. Then it’s sanctioned terrorist activity!” I said brightly. 

Irene snorted in amusement. “You are very funny, Sankta. Well, if you know of a nest of seaborn…well, really I should execute you on the spot.”

“I don’t recommend it,” Surtr said casually, using the edge of her sword to trim her nails. “Wouldn’t work out for you so well.” 

“We seek peace, but we come prepared for war,” Mudrock said, resting a hand on the haft of her hammer. 

“You could also like, deputize us instead! Then we can know the horrors beyond knowing. And blow them up!” I suggested. 

Irene sighed heavily. “This is…most irregular. I really should consult master Dario first…but, I am also sworn to defend the people of Iberia. If there is a seaborn threat…then we must expunge it immediately. Show me this place you say is infected with the Seaborn.”

“Ok, but first, you have to promise not to kill my buddy,” I said. I raised one hand. “I promise, she’s not a seaborn.”

“What do you mean?” Irene asked, eyes narrowing.

“She means, little Iberian Bird, that we will do our duty and slay these monsters, with or without you,” Skadi said, stalking out from behind one of the holes in the old nomadic plate, Specter humming and skipping along beside her. 

“Aegir! So you are allied with the seaborn!” Irene snarled, raising her sword. 

“No, no, nothing like that,” I said, putting a hand on Irene’s arm and gently lowering it. “They’re like, super anti-seaborn soldiers. Trust me! These fins are friends, not fools.”

“And why should I trust you?” Irene demanded hotly. “You speak in riddles, have a ridiculous amount of dangerous contraband, and are allied with devils and seaborn pawns!” 

“Because the world sucks enough, so we should make friends where we can and fight for the light together,” I said, completely serious for the first time in the conversation. I plucked Victor up, and raised him over my heart. “I, Lemuen Exusiai, do swear by my Patron and Halo that we of Rhodes Island mean Iberia no harm, and are here as allies to you, Irene of the Inquisition, and as an enemy of the Seaborn.”

My halo glowed and flashed three times, and Irene sucked in a sharp breath. “You…that is a very holy oath.”

“Well, I’m not a very holy woman, but I do like to blow stuff up,” I said, putting my irreverent grin back on. I knew the type of person Irene was. She was a good person at heart, and very devout. She WANTED us to be friends and fight the seaborn together, she was just suspicious because, well, she was an Inquisitor and that sort of was her job. 

Irene considered this for a moment, then sighed heavily and sheathed her sword. “Very well. I suspect if I do not aid you, you will attempt to blow up some hapless innocent’s home and cause great destruction.”

“And here I thought the Inquisition believed there was no such thing as innocence, only degrees of guilt,” Skadi sneered. 

“Some inquisitors believe that, but they are the ones who no longer believe Iberia can be saved. I believe that He can, and that one day, the Golden Age will return in splendor,” Irene said, putting a fist to her heart. 

That made Specter cackle and show off her mouthful of teeth.“Hehe, a song of fools, a cantor of false gold! An age of lies that was swept away in silence!” 

Irene glared at her, but Skadi sighed and shook her head. “Your golden age was built on lies and false assumptions, Little Iberian Bird. But so long as hot blood burns in Iberian hearts, perhaps your land is not lost. Come. We will show you the church. I have scouted it already. Our target is within.”

We clambered up rusting stairways onto the nomadic plate, where I paused. “You know, we should give you something before we go any further, Irene.”

“And what is that?” she asked coolly, resting a hand on one of her guns. The Iberians have some level of gunsmithing ability, but it’s about 400 years out of date from modern firearms. They still use black powder for the non-arts ones, if you can believe it, so she had a single action revolver that required her arts to fire. It looked like a really nice model, so I was willing to bet it was Sankta forged. 

“An official Rhodes Island arm band! That way, you look like part of the team, and you have some color to go with that drab outfit of yours,” I said, and pulled out a blue armband with the Rhodes Island logo on it. 

Irene accepted it suspiciously, looking over it carefully, but it was just a simple cotton armband that we gave out to identify operators in the field. 

“You should put it on, reduce the chance of friendly fire,” Surtr told her, then gestured to her own forearm where she’d tied hers. Skadi and Specter had them on as well, though Specter had hers on over her eyepatch like a pirate. 

“Very well,” Irene agreed, and tied it on to her right bicep. “Now, let us continue.”

“Gotta get directions first,” I told her, and pulled out my tablet and logged in. A moment later, the PTRS logo popped up. Then fuzzed and glitched out. I frowned, shaking the screen a few times. An error message I’d never seen popped up, and I frowned. “Well, that’s weird. Anyone else’s working?”

Even as I did so, the error suddenly resolved itself, and I smiled, pressed my thumbprint to the screen. 

“BIOMETRICS RECOGNIZED,” the PRTS voice said. “HEHE. WELCOME BACK, OPERATOR EXUSIAI.”

Huh? Hehe? That was…new. Had closure done an update or something? Well, whatever, it let me in. After a couple of moments, a connection was established, and Leader’s icon popped up. “Under,” they said. 

“Tides,” I responded. “Bird is in the hand, not the bush.”

“Copy that, Squad Leader. Welcome to Rhodes Island, Inquisitor Irene,” Doktah said.

Irene leaned forward, looking suspiciously at the screen, but the Doktah had video off. “I am Inquisitor Irene, yes. You seem to know an awful lot about me. Who are  you, exactly?”

“Some call me a Ghost. But I am just a man, like any other. What I am is here to stop the Seaborn threat, and save this city,” Doktah said. 

“Do you have my master, Dario?” Irene demanded. 

“We do. He’s right here, actually,” Doktah replied. A moment later, the video feed activated, and the weathered face of a middle aged liberi man appeared. “Irene. The Rhodes Islanders picked me up. For now, cooperate with them. I’m working with the Doktah and CEO Amiya. They have an interest in stopping the seaborn. More than that, I don’t want to say, even over a secure line. Assist them, but keep your eyes and ears open and do not betray your mandate. For Iberia’s Prosperity.” 

“For Iberia’s Defense,” Irene responded with her own callsign, nodding. “Very well, Master. If you trust these Rhodes Islanders, then so will I. They seem to know a great deal.”

“Yes. I’m still trying to find out how. But for now, the threat is grave enough we should not question heavily armed allies when they appear. Dario out.”

The video feed went out, and Doktah’s voice spoke again. “I’m highlighting your route. I’ve already got the information from Skadi and Specter’s scouting mission. I’ve marked where to place your explosives for maximum impact. We want to destroy the Church of the Deep before they become a threat, so this is a surprise attack. Don’t let them see you coming.”

I lowered my goggles, and my HUD displayed the route, even as the others did the same. Mudrock passed a pair of goggles to Irene, who put them out, then muttered an oath. “¡Por los Ojos! This technology…no wonder Rhodes Island is so successful. I feel like I can see through walls with this.”

“Depends on how thick they are,” Surtr laughed, but Skadi shrugged.

“It’s crude, but functional. The lack of motion tracking or biosign scanners is a disadvantage, but it’s better than nothing.”

“Heartbeats, heartbeats, pitter-patter pump! Hear the sound of the blood that flows, find the sound of the silence that shows!” Specter chanted. 

Look, I don’t judge, but the whole rhyming nun thing was pretty creepy. I think she does it intentionally, but she could also just be crazy. I just hope she’s not so crazy she doesn’t know where to point that big power saw of hers. 

We made our way through the decaying city, and the drones we had on overwatch showed us how many people got out of our way. There were a surprising number of them, all of them in ratty clothing and many with obvious signs of malnutrition or other diseases. I helpfully marked all of them for package deliveries later. We had brought a lot of relief supplies, and most of them hadn’t gone with Gavial and Eunectes to Sargon. There were people here who needed helping, and me and Rhodes Island would provide!

I mean, sure, it’s not saving the world from oripathy like Bones and Sussurro, but…it’s still important, right? And we are saving the world from turning into sea monster orange goop, so there is that. 

Speaking of, there wasn’t much orange goop at the old church PRTS led us to, but if there wasn’t a bad infestation of black mold, I’d eat my halo. 

“Quintus is inside,” Skadi whispered. “We saw him go in, and he hasn’t left.”

“This city is riddled with catacombs. He could have left by another route,” Irene hissed back. “I should have known that old man was a member of the Church of the Deep. Damned slimy aegir.”

“Ah, little bird, little bird, watch where you spread your wings! Some fish are foul, some fowl are fish, but some sharks hunt for sweeter meat,” Specter sang, showing off her chompers again. Ok, so maybe it is an act, but the bitch is crazy. 

“Are you certain these Aegri are not allied with the Church of the Deep, Sankta? They look like islanders to me,” Irene growled, hand on her sword. 

“They’re from Aegir, Irene,” I said. 

She frowned at me for a moment, then her eyes widened and she sucked in a breath. Her gaze flitted back to Skadi and Specter. Specter was still grinning, but Skadi looked smug and nodded. 

“We are the Abyssal Hunters. Consider our order to be the homeland’s equivalent to your own order, but without the barbarism and superstition.”

“But…Aegir…it’s a legend. Lost for hundreds of years under the waves, since before the Golden Age of Iberia,” Irene said slowly. 

“The Seaborn are a threat to all. Even the might of Aegir is not enough to stand alone against their threat,” Skadi said, frowning as she admitted it. “In this, we fight alongside you landwalkers once more.”

“What matters is we’ve got 100 kilos of explosives, and one bad guy in that building. So, who knows how to place demolition charges?” I asked, taking a brick from Mudrock.

Everyone raised their hands. I knew I had picked out a good group of friends!

We quickly and quietly rigged the entire church to explode, then took up overwatch positions. I teamed up with Surtr, while Mudrock stayed with Irene, and Specter and Skadi moved to cover another sector. 

“Alright, who knows the first rule of blowing up bad guys?” I whispered over the radio. 

“There is no kill like overkill,” Surtr said fervently, and I nodded. 

“Right!” And what’s rule number two?”

“Just because you didn’t find the body, don’t assume you vaporized them,” Skadi said grimly. 

“Exactly! So, rule number three?” 

“Let me guess: See rule one,” Irene said dryly. 

“Of course! And, I brought my good friends to help ensure that. So, after I do the honors, everyone pick up Horatio, Richard, and Steven, and get ready to finish the job properly,” I told them. 

Then, I pressed the Big Red Button. Look, there are some perks to being a squad leader, and one of them is you get to push the buttons. 

There was a satisfying WHUMPH as the shaped charges all detonated at once. Now, 100 kilos of explosives is not enough to blow a big stone church to smithereens. What it IS enough is to collapse the church on itself and pulverize everything inside. So there was a lot of rumbling and dust spraying everywhere. I held my breath, and waited. 

To my delight, there was a roar of, “FOOLS! YOU KNOW NOT WHAT YOU AWAKEN!” 

Then a giant sea monster, who I assumed was the former Bishop Quiteus, burst up out of the ruins with a roar. He looked like a two headed giant squid…thing. More of those sea monsters also bubbled out, some of them on four legs like dogs, others the smaller tentacle flower things.

Unfortunately for them, I already had Horatio to my shoulder. “FIRE!” I screamed and pressed the launcher. 

Three arts-powered rockets flew into Quietus and exploded, causing him to wail and writhe. I didn’t wait to see if that worked, and neither did Surtr or the others. 

“MORONS! JUST DIE ALREADY!” Surtr roared and drew Laevatain and hurled herself down as her blade ignited. 

I had Viktor in one hand and Leonard in the other. It’s usually stupid to try to shoot like that, because the recoil makes your accuracy complete crap, and you’ll drift off target. But, when your target is, you know, building-sized, that’s less important. I also didn’t know enough about seaborn biology to bother with pinpoint aiming. My strategy was more “make lots of big holes until it stops moving.”

Wounded first by us blowing up a building on top of him, then shooting three rocket launchers at him, and then unleashing two angry Abyssal Hunters of questionable sanity and one Inquisitor of questionable fashion sense, along with three Sarkaz (yeah, yeah, I know…) meant that the fun only lasted about another minute. And that was only because we kept shooting and slashing for a good thirty seconds after Quietus stopped moving. Well, on his own. He was slapped aroundquite a bit by Mudrock and her golems. 

“Well, now there’s only one thing to do,” I said, looking down over the broken forms of seaborn. 

“Burn this place and kill all the witnesses,” Irene said grimly. 

“What!? No! We don’t- no killing witnesses!” I sputtered. 

“The soil here is contaminated. We will purify it,” Mudrock said solemnly. 

Irene looked up at Mudrock, who still had her armor on. “And how do you plan on doing that, Sarkaz?” 

“Fire, mostly,” Surtr said with a shrug, and Mudrock nodded. 

“That wasn’t what I meant, but sure,” I said with a shrug. 

“What did you mean?” Skadi asked. 

I grinned and rubbed the back of my head sheepishly. “Well, um, I was going to say go out for ice cream. But burning the bodies works too.”

“A woman after my own heart!” Surtr cackled, then used her arts to ignite the remains. 

Mudrock had to carry Surtr back. I offered to help, but Mudrock insisted, and she is a lot stronger than me. 

We made our way to the outskirts of the city, where Rhodes Island’s convoy had set up our forward base. There were a lot of townsfolk who had come to us for treatment, those desperate enough or still sane enough to recognize help when it was offered. I passed on my data of the civilians I’d marked to Thorns, and he promised he’d lead a squad to see to them. 

After that, we met with Leader and Amiya and I gave my report. Mission Accomplished, no survivors! Um, I did have to reword it to clarify I meant enemy survivors. All the good guys made it home in one piece! Even Surtr, though she had to be treated for arts overdose. 

Gladia and Dario weren’t trying to kill one another anymore, which was good, and it seemed like the Inquisition and Abyssal Hunters were willing to work together to deal with the threat. They talked about a lot more stuff, but I was tired and I kinda started napping with my eyes open. I’m just…I’m so tired all the time these days. I feel…dull. Listless. I try not to let it show, but it’s hard. 

“Sankta, are you well?” Irene asked me, and I startled awake. 

“Yep! Super! Fine! Just getting a little shut eye!” I said, smiling at her and hoping she didn’t notice the bags under my eyes. 

She studied me, then asked, “I don’t see any other Sankta on this team. Are you alone?”

“Huh? No way! I got lots of friends here!” I said brightly, nodding to Mudrock, who had taken off her armor. The look on Irene’s face when she realized how short the “giant” Sarkaz was was priceless!

“You know what I mean. When was the last time you spent time with your people?” Irene demanded.

My shoulders slumped despite my best efforts, and I gave her a tired smile. “It’s not been too long, I just…Well, I miss Laterano sometimes, you know? Well, probably not, but I bet you miss your own home! Where is home for you, anyway?”

“There is a monastery near here, where my gun was made,” Irene said, putting her hand on her pistol. Damn Inquisitors. Never let you change the topic. Not that I minded this time, actually. 

“Really? They have a gunsmith there? Is he laterano trained?” I asked eagerly. I’m always up to talk about my babies with someone who knows!

“It is not far, a day's journey. We will be heading in that direction regardless, if what my Master says is true. I can show you the way. I think it would do you good: it is a monastery of your people, though they are all Iberian.”

A whole monastery of Sankta? I…I needed that. I needed it so bad. There are enclaves of Sankta around the world, though they’re most common in Siracusa or Iberia, where the Lateran Church is strongest. There’s also a big population in Columbia too, I’ve visited them a few times in Fort Barron. Takes the edge off, you know?

“Well, I mean, maybe I’ll stop by, but I need to stay with-” I began, but then I nearly jumped out of my skin when Mudrock put a hand on my shoulder. She moves really quietly when she wants.

“No. You will go. You must commune with your people. We will come,” Mudrock said. “I will tell Amiya and the Doctor. We depart at once.”

“I can come to, to show you the way. I…owe you. Iberia owes you a debt for what you have done,” Irene said stiffly. 

Surtr woke up before we left and insisted on coming, and we borrowed one of the smaller transport vehicles. I felt really guilty about it, but Amiya just smiled and told me to take care of myself. 

We left first thing in the morning the next day. The trip took us about 6 hours with a modern land transport. I’d have been able to do it faster on a messenger bike, but it was more fun to go on a road trip with the four of us. Irene turned out to have zero taste in music. She’s one of those types who just listens to religious stuff 24/7. Like, OK, yeah, some of that is alright, but seriously, the good shit is the hip-hop coming out of Lungmen and Trimounts these days. I invoked my privileges as Squad Leader and blasted my own personal tunes. Surtr has good taste and enjoyed them, Mudrock didn’t object, and even Irene had to admit that my rendition of “Rap God” was pretty damn awesome. 

Monasterio de las Alas Brillantes was up in the hills above the sea, which is probably how it survived the Profound Silence. Well, that and the Apostolic Gun Knights that were there on pilgrimage at the time. The abby supported itself by providing the Inquisition with many of their firearms, but also from the vineyards and farmland that were worked by the peasants who worked the parish land. 

The village was in much better repair than the other places I’d seen in Iberia, and the people there seemed less downtrodden. They were suspicious at first, until I waved at them, then they all did that stupid bowing and scraping thing and calling me “blessed angel” and all that bullshit. I just smiled and waved and drove on. Well, I mean, I also did make the sign of blessing out of the window. The religious bullshit drives me bonkers, but I’m not an asshole. 

The monastery itself was in excellent repair, with stained glass windows from before the Profound Silence in some places, and others showing the Apostolic Gun Knights blowing up waves of Seaborn. Damn, that looked like fun. I’ve never been the hoity-toity type to be a gunknight…but seriously, every kid in Laterano dreams of being one. They’re just so cool!

A frowning priest and two nuns came out to meet us, and I could see their patrons under their robes because I knew where to look. However, when I popped out of our vehicle, their faces instantly relaxed into smiles.

“Mail’s here!” I said brightly. It was too, I was returning to my roots, and we’d brought all the messages and info we’d picked up along the way.

“Ah, sister, welcome to Alas Brillantes. I am Padre Diego, this is Sister Juno and Sister Isebella,” the priest said, bowing to me slightly and making the holy sign of the law: right hand touches your head, your lips, and then your heart, to show that the Law guides your mind, your worlds, and lives within you. I returned the gesture, and…oh Holy Law, I could feel them. The warmth, and the love, and the joy at seeing a fellow Sankta. I instantly understood that Padre Diego was an older Sankta in his 100s, and his joints ached something fierce from days of hard labor. His wife, Sister Juno, was one of the two nuns, the other was his actual sister, Isabella. 

Yeah, yeah, I know. Look, the fact of the matter is that Sankta in remote places have to breed or they’ll go crazy. Juno was from Laterano; I could sense that immediately, having been sent here to keep the gene pool from being a wading pool. Isabella was actually visiting from another Monastary here in Iberia, her own husband lived there and was another Sankta. Most Sankta, well, basically all Sankta who don’t want to get ex-communicated, marry other Sankta.

I, uh, well don’t spread this around but I’ve fucked more than a few non-Sankta. I always used protection! I wasn’t that much of a heretic at the time…but it feels…empty. Not at all like being with another Sankta. Sure, it’s still fun to have sex with non-Sankta…but there isn’t that deep spiritual connection you get with Empathy. 

And, this is going to sound weird if you’re not a Sankta…but I was closer with Diego, Juno, and Isabella than I had been with any of those non-Sankta boyfriends (and one girlfriend, look, I was seriously lonely) I’d been with. And that was after like, five seconds. I knew their aches, their pains, their joys, their delights. And they knew mine. Not everything, of course, it’s not mind reading, but we could just…feel each other. 

Then Mudrock and Surtr jumped out of the car and everything went to hell. 

“Devils, here!? Sister, why do you defile this holy ground and sully yourself with such as them?” Padre Diego depended.

I blinked at the old man, then recoiled in sheer horror at what I was feeling from him. He didn’t just dislike Sarkaz. He hated them. He wanted to shoot both of my friends dead here and now. 

This is…well, it’s distressingly common. Not just in Sankta, there’s racist pieces of shit everywhere, but it’s especially common in Sankta. The Law does say to scourge the Sarkaz from your lands. I was getting so much backwash, I felt myself starting to hate them and want to shoot them.

“No, look, listen, these are my sisters!” I protested, shaking my head and putting a hand to my head as I tried to sort through this. “Sankta, Sarkaz, we are not-”

“Heresy!” Isabella gasped, and Juno looked sick. 

“She is no heretic,” Irene said, coming to stand beside me after genuflecting to Padre Diego. 

“Ah, Inquisitor Irene, welcome back,” Diego said, giving her a smile, though it quickly turned to a frown. “I had thought you more holy than one who would consort with devils.”

“Oh piss off old man,” Surtr called, and flipped Diego off. The rage he felt…he was near to drawing his patron and shooting her! I put myself between the two of them, my own rage a reflection of his, but for obviously different reasons.

“Did you- did you take this filth as a lover?!” Diego hissed. 

“What if I did, asshole?” I snarled. “I told you, we Sankta and Sarkaz share-” I cut myself off. This was too much. I was losing control. Empathy is only so deep, but the rush after being cut off for so long was doing things to my head. 

“You have much to repent,” Diego hissed, making a sign of superstition to ward off evil. “I will not turn you away, Sister, not without hearing your story, but the Devils cannot stay.”

“We will leave,” Mudrock said calmly. “We can camp in the hills outside the village.”

“Yeah, we can,” I growled. I stomped to the back of the truck, pulled out the mail packages, and tossed them at Diego’s feet. “Here’s your damn letters. Try not to be such a racist asshole. Sankta can’t afford to hate Sarkaz. We have enough actual enemies, like the fucking sea monsters that want to eat you all. Law be with you.”

Then I got back in the car and slammed the door. Irene made a few excuses then got in as well, Surtr and Mudrock were already inside. As we pulled away, another Sankta stepped out, and his cold eyes met mine for a moment.

I shivered. What the fuck was the Law’s Most Autistic Angel doing here? Well whatever, Fred wasn’t my problem now. I sped off down the hill, and this time I flipped off the peasants instead of blessing them. I bet there were racist pieces of shit, too!

We were halfway down the mountain before Surtr put a hand on my shoulder. “Uh, Exusiai? Maybe slow down a little?”

“Why? Fuck them!” I growled, and there were tears running down my cheeks. I felt the sudden urge to vomit, and I slammed on the brakes, then pulled over and ran to the side of the road, where I threw up over the stone wall onto the slope below us. I was shuddering all over. I had been close. So close, to the dose of Empathy I needed. Now I was going into withdrawals. 

Mudrock got out and rubbed my back, while Irene gave me some tea and Surtr stood around, looking uncomfortable.

“Sorry,” I rasped, wiping bile from my lips. “Can…can one of you drive? I don’t…I don’t feel so good.”

“You…you can go back. We can camp outside, it’s fine,” Surtr said, fidgeting with her sword and looking uncomfortable.

I shook my head fiercely. “No! This hate, it has to STOP! I can’t…if I stay there, with them, with their hatred…I’ll become like them! I just…I can’t! We have to-”

Then I threw up again. So much for my morals. 

We didn’t go back, and by the time we rejoined the convoy on the way to Gran Ferro, I did feel better. I was going to be fine. I could go another few months without Empathy. Probably. 

When I curled up on the back sleep, alone, to sleep that night, the door of the van slid open. I looked up to see Surtr’s silhouette. She silently closed the door, then rolled out her mat beside me. 

“Thought…thought you didn’t want to be around me,” I mumbled. 

“You remember what I said? About being Sarkaz?”

My mind was hazy, but I managed to remember it. “Uh, something about suffering?”

“Well, you’re fucking suffering, sister. But you don’t have to do it alone. That’s another part of being Sarkaz.”

Then she rolled over and started snoring. Despite how awful I felt, despite the longing for Empathy…I felt at peace in that moment. I clutched Viktor to my chest, and let myself drift off.

Tomorrow, I got to kill a god. Or, well, at least in the next week. But I was so getting to kill a god. Just me, and my sisters. Mudrock and Surtr. 

Lemuen, wherever you are…I hope you understand when I find you again. 

The Second Archon War: Animula Choragi 22

Animula Choragi 22: Phantom of the Opera

When people thought of mountains in France, their minds usually went to the snow capped French Alps and the iconic Mount Blanc. Far less thought of the Massif Central range in southern France, and for good reason. Not only was this one of the least inhabited regions of France, but the highlands were only 1800 meters tall at their highest point. A far cry from the 3000-meter average of the French Alps. Instead of snow-capped craggy peaks, the Massif Central mountains were green and rolling. 

Or at least, they had been. The Scream and Great Storm had resulted in global glaciation on a scale not seen since the last ice age. As he flew over the mountains with Cygne and Mistral, two of his fastest Movers with flying powers, Iron Mask glared down at the peaks, which were now brown and lifeless. The last of the snow had melted in June, a bitter reminder of how powerless mortals were against these new gods. 

The harvest this season would be poor, but France would still manage to feed herself. Well, at least with imports from Iraq and Kuwait. It would almost be worth the price of kneeling to that god-child to turn France into the world’s biggest food exporter. 

Almost. Iron Mask wasn’t as stupid as Saddam; he’d never try to make an Archon kneel, but having to kneel to one would be grating indeed. Perhaps his American friends, the same ones who had given Iron Mask the vials he’d given out to secure his power base, would help him with that. Though they had been unreliable of late. That damned war was consuming all of their energy, it seemed.

After over an hour of flying, Iron Mask’s destination came into view at last: the small town of Saint-Roch-d’Auvergne. Nestled in a valley in the southern part of the range, the town had once been a thriving tin mining operation. Now, most of the buildings were in disrepair, and most of the population had long since departed. 

The old monastery of Saint Roch was in good repair, however, having recently been restored. It was located on the outskirts of the town, and few of the villagers ever approached it. The grounds were immaculately kept, but there were no gardeners in sight. The only change was that there was not a cross or religious icon to be seen. 

 All was still and lifeless as Iron Mask landed and resumed his native form. He nodded to Cygne and Mistral, who, as ordered, waited outside the old oak doors that Iron Mask threw open. 

Inside the old monastery was opulently decorated, with rich red carpets, real gilded furniture of old hardwoods, and masterwork paintings. The paintings were in a style that would make one think they were old, but something was wrong with them. On closer inspection, one would realize that many of them depicted industrial scenes of factories and cities, even if in a Renaissance or Romantic style. A second look would show that none of the figures in the paintings were human. Instead, they were artificial life forms, from the birds to the plants, and of course, the people. Some were in a clockwork style, others shining gothic metal, and a few eerily lifelike, but with subtle signs that their flesh was artificial and their eyes robotic. 

There was music playing from deeper within, and Iron Mask strode down the hall and through a courtyard, and into what had once been the chapel. Within, all signs of faith and religion had been stripped away, replaced with more of those odd robotic paintings or metal sculptures. The music itself came from real instruments; the trio of musicians were all robots themselves. Each was in a very different style: the first was so lifelike that only careful observation or foreknowledge would have told the beholder that the woman playing the Stradivarius Violin was a gynoid, and her playing was such that not even a master violinist would have known that unliving hands played Vivaldi’s Four Seasons, the Winter Movement. 

The second was made of fine metal filigree and looked as though she were incredibly delicate, her face a smooth silver with eyebrows of bronze. She too played her cello with such virtuosity that if you closed your eyes, you would have thought Yo-yo Ma himself was the musician. 

Upon the piano, played a third construct, this one different from her sisters. She looked as though she were a giant clockwork creation from a steampunk adventure novel, her form appearing to be made of tarnished brass and weathered green copper. Yet she matched the other two robots note for note upon the Grand Piano, her motions fluid and smooth. 

There was one other living person in the room: an old man sitting in the first row of velvet-padded pews with a glass of cognac in his hands, his eyes closed as he leaned his head back as if in religious ecstasy, his empty hand waving back and forth in time with the music. He was dressed in a white lab coat, and a pair of goggles rested on his forehead. This was René Dubois, the most dangerous man in France, and, once, the most dangerous in Europe. The very person Iron Mask was here to see. 

Swallowing his irritation and haste, Iron Mask gently shut the door behind him and walked as quietly as he could to the pew on the other side of the aisle from Dubois, waiting quietly as the Three Blasphemies finished their performance. It took some minutes, but at last, the performance came to an end, and the Three Blasphemies lowered their instruments. Robotic eyes fixated on Iron Mask, and he did his best not to sweat. 

“Aw, Jean-Pierre, it has been too long!” Dubois said, opening his eyes at last and grinning at Iron Mask. There was something off about René Dubois. Something in his eyes, in how he held himself, in the way he spoke. It was madness. The same madness that had first led to his constructing the Three Blasphemies in concert with a dozen other Tinkers twelve years ago. Now, all the other Tinkers were dead at Dubois’ own hands, and only his mind directed the Blasphemies now. 

“Too long indeed, René,” Iron Mask said, standing and taking Dubois’ hand, which the other man pumped furiously. 

“Ah, but of course, you are busy! You rule France now, yes? Once more, our nation is led by a man with real steel in his spine! Real steel, I tell you!” Dubois babbled, gesturing broadly with his glass of cognac. He snapped his fingers, and in an instant, the filigree Blaspheme produced a tray of fine cheese and fruit, which Dubois eagerly grabbed a fistful of and stuffed into his mouth. Iron Mask more delicately took an apricot and some brie and nibbled at it to be polite. He also accepted a glass of Burgundy from the clockwork Blasphemie and sipped at it, settling back down into his pew as Dubois sat as well. 

“I heard about that dragon coming to visit us. Nasty business, that. But you stood up to it, Jean-Pierre! Ah, you stood up, and showed that beast the power of France, and of science!” Dubois chuckled to himself, then tossed back his cognac and held out his tumbler for refill, which was instantly provided by the lifelike Blasphemie. He grinned and leered at the things breasts, which made Iron Mask shiver slightly. He was fairly certain that the Blasphemies were… anatomically correct, and that Dubois…used them. He found the prospect disgusting, but he was in no position to let that show. 

“Yes, the Archons loom their shadows over France, and I must fight to keep us free of them. To keep France strong, and pure,” Iron Mask said evenly. 

“Yes, yes, of course! Keep the damned Chinks and the other slant eyes out! Keep France French! Keep Europe for the white man! It is our burden, and duty!” Dubois ranted. 

Jean-Pierre made agreeing noises, smiled, and nodded. It was lunacy, pure and simple. Keep France French, yes, but Dubois was going to go on his rant about Phrenology or some other pseudoscientific trash if Iron Mas wasn’t quick.

“Of course, of course, René. But, there are other concerns, greater concerns now,” Iron Mask said soothingly. 

“Eh? What’s this?” Dubois harumphed, his mad eyes narrowing on Iron Mask at the interruption to his tirade. 

“As you said, the dragon. And, more specifically, the Archons,” Iron Mask said in the same tone he’d use to sooth a rabid beast. Which, well, René Dubois was. 

“Ah! Yes, the Archons,” Rene nodded. This was another of his favorite topics. “Gods? Angels? Pah! There is only SCIENCE! Look, look what the hands of man have wrought! What MY hands have wrought! Life, in MY OWN IMAGE!”

He gestured to the terrifyingly beautiful Blasphemies, which stood by, patiently, silently,with trays of the most expensive delicacies at the ready for their master’s every whim. 

“Yes, but, I am afraid the Archons have begun to infiltrate France. I have checked them, stamped them out where I could, of course, discouraged the feeble minded from worshiping them, but, alas…I am at the end of my powers,” Iron Mask sighed. 

“Oh?” Dubois growled, his lip curling back in a snarl. 

“Yes. There is a woman: Yennifer Lustria. She is a servant of the Archons, a captain in the Knights of Favonius. Her, and that damned woman I told you was going to be a problem,” Iron Mask said, warming to his theme. 

“What woman?” Dubois asked suspiciously, his expression less fey and more cunning than it had been, though Iron Mask failed to notice. 

“You know her! Jeanne d’Orleans! She continues to be a problem! I told you, you should have killed her with her husband!”

“We were better when we had kings. Men cannot rule themselves,” Dubois growled.

“Yes, yes, but we both agreed that I had to be a shadow king! Assuming direct leadership would cause too many problems,” Iron Mask said with a shake of his head. “And now?! Now Jeanne has a Vision from the Anemo Archon! Her, and Lustria both! Those women are thorns in my side! They must be removed! And in a fashion that will ensure that their faction does not rise again!” 

“France is getting out of your control, eh, Jean-Pierre?” Dubois asked mildly, swirling his drink in his glass.

“No! I am still in control! I still have order! But I cannot move directly against Lustria and d’Orleans! Thus, I come to you. There will be a protest tomorrow. If your masterworks were to pay them a visit, I could come to repel them and save the day once more! It would solidify my control, as it did when I ‘saved’ Paris from the Blasphemies at the end of the August Civil War! It would be perfect!”

“Hmmm,” Dubois said. He got up and strode over to one of the many paintings, which he studied intently. All had been created by the Blasphemies, sick parodies of real art in Iron Mask’s eyes. 

“You know, Jean-Pierre, I chose you to lead France because I thought you were strong,” Dubois said, not turning around. 

You chose me because you needed someone who could copy the powers of the Tinkers you had killed, and I was the only one who could, Iron Mask thought, but he said, “And France has prospered under me, has she not? None of the chaos of the rest of the world. And no Archons putting men under their heels. I’ve even kept out those upstart Americans.”

“Indeed, indeed. I suppose you have,” Dubois said softly. “And yet, I hear things. The military, they are furious at you for creating your own private army in the USIP. The bureaucrats chafe because you have put your own senior people in place over them. The monarchists are on Jeanne d’Orleans’ side, now that the Bonapartes are all dead and the Bourbons are all living in America. And of course, your move against the unions has the communists up in arms.”

“The communists!? I thought you hated them as much as I do!” Iron Mask protested, trying and failing to keep the heat out of his voice.

“Oh, I do, I do,” Dubois said, not turning around. “But you have made so many enemies, Jean-Pierre. France is not unified. France is not strong. We should be building an Empire! Instead, it is the Russians, the Germans, who build Empires! Where is MY Empire, Jean-Pierre?!”

At last, Dubois smashed his glass on the floor, still not turning around. The Blasphemies quickly cleaned it up and replaced the glass with a fresh one, Dubois’ shoulders heaving with passion as they did so.

“I, we…you have never mentioned an Empire,” Iron Mask managed, flummoxed by the sudden change of direction in the conversation. “But, we could build one easily enough, if we remove these few obstacles.”

“Hmm. Yes. I suppose you are right.” Dubois turned, that mad smile back on his face, and Iron Mask relaxed ever so slightly. “You are right, of course, of course. Yes. The obstacles will be removed.”

Dubois gestured grandly. “Go back to your palace. I will see to it that France’s future is secure, and all obstacles to her prosperity are removed. That the right person, no, people, are in charge. Yes, you will be rewarded for your stewardship, Jean-Pierre. As you deserve. Of course.”

“Thank you,” Iron Mask said, bowing ever so slightly. “I take my leave then. Our partnership has been as profitable as ever.”

“Hmm,” Dubois said, sipping at his cognac, but Iron Mask had already turned and strode out of the monastery to his waiting capes and lifted off into the air. 

“Well, girls,” Dubois said, turning to the Blasphemies. “It is time to play your instruments upon the grandest stage again! Come! We will have order! We will have prosperity! France will be the shining jewel of Europe once more! Play! PLAY!” 

The Blasphemies took up their instruments and began to play Danse Macabre, by Camille Saint-Saëns. 

All the world was a stage. And it was time for the true man behind the mask to play against our heroine. 

Author’s Note: 

Look, the original Blasphemies are cool and all, but we know nothing about them and I decided that they should look different because that’s way cooler. 

Also, I apologize this one is short, but I am very busy playing through Nod-Krai right now and I need to get back and finish Part II of the Archon quest. 

May I Enjoy My Life: Entry 28

Entry 33, Day 75

Well, it finally happened, and I had to change my underwear. I’m not even embarrassed. Well, not about the underwear. The rest of it was real fucking embarrassing. 

As per usual, the day started off normal enough. I went down to get my levels checked, this time with Dr. Silence observing and taking notes. She asked a lot of questions about how frequently this was done, what my rate of metabolization was, so on and so forth. I tried to answer but Sussurro talked for me and Silence told me that “I was the patient, not the doctor” which is true I guess, and we doctors are supposed to make the worst patients. 

Then, a round in the oncology department. Cancer isn’t really Rhodes Island’s specialty, but there were things I could do to help our handful of cancer patients. Sussurro was able to help cut out a few small masses and then I healed them up, then we had a long surgery where someone had bone cancer, and I did a full treatment of regrowing their marrow. It was a long and grisly process, but the prognosis seemed to be good at the end of the surgery, so it was high fives all around. 

After that, I was running real low on arts, so as a special treat, we went to have lunch on the roof. By “we” I mean me, Sussurro, Kroos, and Lava. I don’t think I’ve mentioned it, but Lava wears a mask nearly all the time. I used to think Lava the Purgatory had on a visor, but then realized it was her bangs. This Lava, however, keeps a real visor. Something about it helped to focus her arts, it was a lot of gobbldy gook to me when she explained it all. 

It was a rather humid day, with clouds in the sky, and the chance of rain on towards evening. It was the middle of the day though, so we put up an umbrella and had some cold cuts. Kroos and Lava didn’t sit with Sussurro and I, staying on alert. Kroos was watching the landscape as it rolled bye, squinting and scanning for threats, while Lava watched the rest of the deck.

“Eyes up, we got company,” Lava growled, nodding her head. 

I tensed up until the excited chatter of children’s voices reached my ears. Apparently, we weren’t the only ones taking a holiday on the roof. A gaggle of young children bounced onto the deck, where they proceeded to have a picnic. I recognized Andrey, Arseniy, and Kirill and waved to them. They waved back, but were busy chatting with their friends; Suzuran and some other kids their age.

“It’s good to know life goes on,” Sussurro commented, smiling at the children. 

I nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah. I know you want some, I just…I dunno. Kids are a big responsibility, you know?”

Sussurro blinked. We hadn’t brought this up since she’d revealed she hadn’t been using birth control. We were faithfully using protection, which isn’t 100%, but it’s good enough, and she hadn’t complained or tried to convince me. 

“What’s this? You thinking of starting a family?” Kroos said, not looking away from her scanning of the horizon. 

Lava grunted and turned her head slightly towards us, but it was hard to know where she was looking with that visor on. 

“I would like to start a family, yes,” Sussurro said slowly. “I thought you were opposed to the idea, though.”

“I mean, sorta? How long am I even going to be here?” I said, holding up my right hand. It has visible lesions and crystals, but it wasn’t as bad as it had been, though it did visibly tremble. 

Gently, Sussurro took my hand in both of hers and kissed it. “Part of the reason I’m thinking of doing so is because I don’t know how long you’ll be here.”

“I couldn’t leave you and a baby, not in good conscience,” I said, rubbing the back of my head with my left hand. 

Lava grunted, and I glanced at her. “See? She knows what I mean.”

“Growing up in poverty sucks, but you’re both doctors. Plus, this is Rhodes Island. We take care of kids,” Lava said, nodding at the children. I noticed that the minders were a group of teens: Ceobe, Popukar, Bubble, and Vermile. Ceobe was clowning around and making the kids laugh in between stuffing her face, while Popukar was trying to help a little boy who looked to be about four and was crying because he had spilled his milk. 

“I don’t think we’d have to worry about poverty,” Sussurro said dryly. “Our salaries aren’t fantastic, but Rhodes Island does offer paid maternity leave.”

“Ok, so, like, what about your career? What would you do if you were a mom?” I asked, sipping at my flask of iced tea. 

“I’d keep working, obviously. I would take a little time off to have the baby, but as you can see, there is childcare,” Sussurro said, gesturing to the children. 

“Hate to interrupt, but do you lot recognize that drone?” Kroos said, shading her eyes and pointing towards the sun. 

I couldn’t see a thing, but Lava turned around and peered as well. “Hmm. Could be one of ours, looks like a standard surveillance unit.”

“I suppose. It’s just been hovering there for the past few minutes. And there’s that caravan…” Kroos pointed, to a collection of three vehicles with markings on them I’d come to know indicated they were Victorian messenger vehicles. “And there’s a VTOL coming in. Air ambulance. It’s been cleared by control, but…”

“But you got a funny feeling,” Lava said, grimacing. “And with the brats up here, it’s so noisy I can’t really detect much. Head inside?”

“Afraid so. Sorry, loves, I don’t want to alarm you, but better safe than sorry, yeah?” Kroos said, reaching for the umbrella. 

I sighed and stood up, reaching a hand down to help Sussurro. 

Which was when all hell broke loose. 

There hadn’t been one drone hovering about. A flight of six suddenly zipped up from where they’d been hiding around the landship, and opened fire. Shots sprayed off the decking, and I swore as Sussurro tackled me to the ground. Kroos had her crossbow off her back in an instant and took one of the drones on the wing with her first shot, causing it to spiral away. 

At the same time, that VTOL roared in, making not for the flight deck, but the upper deck where we were!

And, to my utter horror, three forms decloaked from where they’d been hiding on the flight deck. They had on tall, brimmed hats that I knew were called triblys, and their armor was the color of ash. Tribly Ashers. The elite special ops forces of Victoria. Or, more specifically as I would learn shortly, the Duke of Caster. 

All three teleported right up to us, even as Lava swore and got off a cast of purple energy. She got one Tribly in the chest, but they didn’t go down, instead swinging a blade that took Lava across the chest and sending her down in a spray of blood. I screamed, and so did Sussurro. The other two grabbed us, then raced over to the railing that was only feet away. Kroos had swung her crossbow around and fired, but her shot was deflected by the Asher. She tried to reload, but she took a slash on the leg and went down as well. 

That was probably the time when I wet myself. I was trapped in the Asher’s grip, and they were racing for the VTOL that was heading right for us. 

“Doite kudasai!” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Suzuran jump up, all nine of her tails standing bristle straight behind her. She had both her hands extended to her side, a look of intense concentration on her normally sweet face. 

A blue light washed over the entire field, and the Tribly Ashers froze. Or, well, not froze, but began to move in extremely exaggerated slow motion. I was somehow able to move normally, as was Sussurro, and we tried to free ourselves, but to no avail, as we were roughly collared. 

Kroos and Lava gasped, their wounds rapidly knitting themselves shut. Lava snarled and began to cast, while Kroos drew her machete, her eyes wide open, a snarl of rage on her lips. “Where do you think you’re going?!” 

Darting forward, she brought her machete down with both hands onto the back of the Tribly holding me. His armor was strong, so she didn’t land a lethal blow, but she did knock him sideways. 

The one holding Susuran began to slowly turn, drawing their blade, fighting against Suzuran’s arts. Suddenly, a perro with I swear to God, black flames in her eyes, darted forward, a manic grin on her lips. “My prey!” 

Ceobe held up what looked like plastic flatware knives, then threw them at the Tribly holding me. The knives ignited in midair and impacted with far more force than they should have. Hot blood sprayed over me, and I tasted iron in my mouth to my disgust and horror. Lava finished her own casting with a cry of, “Mak’at’eli!” and my captor’s wounds began to burn from within as they contorted in pain. 

The other kids hadn’t been holding still either. Bubble had charged forward, lowering her horn and ramming it right into the Tribly holding Sussurro. Our foe began to fly back in comically slow motion, only for Bubble to jump up into the air, both hands clasped together over her head. She brought her fists down in a devastating overhand blow that slammed the Tribly into the decking hard enough to bounce, only they did so once more as though stuck in time. Bubble grabbed Sussurro, even as Kroos collared me and began to haul me away. 

“Everyone, down! Keep your heads down!” Popukar was shouting, grabbing several screaming children and hauling them down on the decking. 

The last Asher, with a painful grunt, somehow broke free of Suzuran’s arts. She let out a cry and slumped down, her tails drooping. The blue light faded, and the last Tribly teleported right behind me and Kroos. I braced myself for a blade through Kroo’s chest, and she clearly thought she was dead as well when a wet squelching sound followed by a cough of surprise. 

“Hmph. You lose.”

We both turned to see the Tribly slump over, a knife sticking out through his guts. Projekt Red had appeared there as if from nowhere, a grin on her blood spattered face. 

There was a roar overhead, and all heads looked up as the last VTOL swooped in. Its cannon began to spin up, and I hit the deck for a second time as Kroos body slammed me down. 

But before the thing could fire, there was a loud bang, and the metal of the VTOL dented as if the fist of God had struck it. It went spinning down and slammed into the dirt in a spray of soil, though it didn’t explode. The drones, however, did, though they more imploded as if invisible hands had clapped together over them.

Rosmontis walked forward, a serene expression on her face. She glanced over the rail, and I was at an angle where I could see the three vehicles below. They were trying to peel away now, though there was shouting and weapons turning. 

“No,” Rosmontis said, and the wheels were ripped off all three vehicles. The spun and tumbled, one flipping end over end and another spinning on its side, while the third rammed into the ground with a loud crunch. 

“You come with Red now,” Red told me, grabbing me and dragging me towards the elevator. 

“I, I’m coming too!” Suzuran said, scrambling after us. “I can help!” 

Red glanced at her, then at Rosmontis, who had helped up Sussurro and was briskly walking towards us. The feline glanced at the kitsune girl, then nodded. “She’s strong. And trustworthy. She can accompany us.”

“Ok. You come. Keep Bones man safe,” Red ordered, and Suzuran eagerly nodded. I was dragged inside by Red, who is a hell of a lot stronger than a waif like her has any right to be. We hadn’t gone too far before Texas dashed up, her two swords on her hip. She assessed the situation at a glance and took charge. 

“Get them to their quarters. Injuries?”

“Me and Lava,” Kroos panted, limping slightly. “Suzuran fixed us right up, though.”

“Only the bad guys were hurt,” Lisa said, nodding soberly. “Sorry, they were too strong, and I wasn’t fast enough.”

“Fine. Threats are neutralized?” Texas asked as we continued to hurry down the hall. 

“There was a VTOL and some drones. And three vehicles. There may be survivors,” Rosmontis said in a tone I would have used to say I’d just swatted an insect. “I was told we should keep a few survivors to interrogate in situations like this.”

“Good. Another squad will handle that,” Texas said with a nod. Sussurro and I were hauled into our rooms, where Texas ordered Red and Rosemontis to keep a lookout on the outside, while she stepped inside with us. Kroos and Lava were ordered to keep on standby. Lisa was brought inside, her face stony and serious. Not a good look for someone who looked like they belonged in elementary school.

Sussurro and I were just standing in the doorway, trembling, when the door slid shut. 

“Lucia, Bones, couch,” Texas ordered, pointing. She practically dragged us over, then seated us. She ran her hands first over me. Not roughly, but gently, clearly probing for injuries. 

“You’re bleeding,” Texas commented. She pointed. “First aid kit in the WC.”

“I got it!” Lisa gasped and ran to the bathroom, reappearing in a few moments. “Don’t worry, I have good healing arts, Bones Sensei.”

More blue light washed over me, and the headwound I had at the back of my skull knitted itself together. Texas was inspecting Sussurro, who had a sprained ankle and was holding her arm, which seemed to be broken. 

“I’ll handle that,” I said, taking her arm gently. She had a hairline fracture on her left radius, which I mended fast enough. She had sprained her left lateral ligament in her foot, and I mended that as well. After that, Sussurro burst into tears and hugged me, and I held her tight.

“Wow, you got really good healing arts, Sensei. Can you use them again? I wanna watch,” Lisa asked curiously when Sussurro calmed down and I held her while she dabbed at her eyes. 

“Only if someone is hurt,” I said quietly. 

“Ok! I’ll get Kroos and Lava,” Lisa said brightly. 

Before we could stop her, Lisa ran out, then Lava and Kroos pounded in, looking around wildly. 

“What’s the problem?” Lava demanded, purple energy around her fists. 

“Sensei will heal you, so I can see!” Lisa said brightly. 

Kroos and Lava relaxed slightly, and I sighed and got up. They were mostly healed, but there was still some damage. I healed Lava first, repairing her gut completely. 

“Damn, those are good arts,” Lava muttered, then nodded at me. “Thanks, Bones.”

“I see! Let me try!” Lisa said eagerly. 

Before we could stop her, she grabbed Kroos, sticking her tongue out and biting it slightly in a very cute fashion. 

Then, to everyone’s astonishment, Suzuran copied my healing arts. Lava’s wound mostly vanished in a flash of white light.

“Gomen'nasai, sorry! I don’t think I did it right,” Lisa said with a sigh, stepping back. Her ears had wilted slightly, and she hung her head. 

Sussurro jumped up and grabbed Kroos, examining the injury. “Le orecchie pelose e la coda folta della nonna! James, she, did she?!”

I took Kroos’ leg gently and ran my hand over it. “It’s not fully repaired, no. Try again, Lisa.”

“Hai!” She put her hands on Kroos wound, which had turned into a thin red line and was nearly completely healed. We held her breath as Lisa bit her tongue again, brow furrowed in concentration as she healed. Slowly, the wound was re-knit. Not as perfectly as I could have done it, but I could feel Suzuran re-grow the tissue. There was no scar when she was done, just like when I used my arts. 

“Hontōni gomen'nasai, this is…this is all I…can do,” Lisa gasped, then would have collapsed if Sussurro and Kroos hadn’t grabbed her. 

“Arts overdose,” Sussurro pronounced. She took out a needle and jabbed it in Lisa’s bicep. The girl flinched, but her breathing slowed, and her face relaxed slightly. Sussurro gently laid her down on the couch, while I hurried to the fridge and brought her some sports drinks. We pushed fluids on her, and I nodded. 

“She’s young, she’ll bounce back, right?” I asked Sussurro quietly. 

“She should. But she pushed herself very hard. But, James…she did copy your arts, didn’t she? I thought…I thought that was impossible.”

“It was only a scratch, really. I’d have been fine in a day or two,” Kroos said, kneeling by the couch and smoothing away a lock of blonde hair. “You didn’t have to do it, love.”

“I just…I wanted…wanted to be…like Sensei…” Lisa sighed. She opened her eyes and smiled weakly. “Now…now I can cure oripathy too…”

“”Absolutely not!”” Sussurro and I shouted at the same time. We exchanged horrified looks, then Sussurro took a deep breath. 

“Those aren’t the arts to cure oripathy. Although…James! Get the testing kit!” 

I hurried to the bedroom, then brought back the equipment we kept there to test my levels before bed and when I woke up. I didn’t seem to metabolize originium in my sleep, only when I used arts, but we were keeping track just to be sure. 

Sadly, Lisa was all too familiar with getting her levels checked, and had a small port like most oripathy patients for a quick blood draw. Sussurro put it into the machine, and we waited. 

“Point-one-seven units per liter,” Sussurro pronounced.

“Sumimasen, Sussurro-Sensei, but that is wrong. It should be .18,” Lisa whispered.

Sussurro dropped the testing kit, though Texas caught it before it hit the ground. I had to grab her before she collapsed, and she was trembling all over. 

“Ha, ha, hahaha!” Sussurro cackled. She grabbed my shirt. “James, James do you know what this MEANS?!”

“I think I do,” I said slowly. “But I think we need to call, like…everybody.”

We put in a call to Kal’tsit first over the radio. 

“This is the Director. What is the situation?” she said, her tone brisk.

“Director, you need to drop whatever you are doing and come to our quarters. Right now,” Sussurro gasped.

“Copy.” The radio clicked off, and we went to crouch by the couch. Lisa had dozed off, her chest rising and falling softly. 

“Ok, so, for those of us who aren’t doctors, can someone please explain what just happened?” Kroos said, sounding rather shaken. 

“I understood it perfectly. What I don’t get is how the fu-udge Lisa copied his arts,” Lava growled. “I’ve seen Bones use them dozens of times. Now granted, my healing arts are shit-taki mushrooms, but I don’t even understand how the…oh, darn it, how the heck did she do that?!” 

“I’ve tried a hundred times to copy what James does, and I’ve never managed it,” Sussurro said, gently laying a blanket over Lisa. “However…I’m a vulpo. Not a kitsune. She’s an Elder Race. And a nine-tailed kitsune at that. Maybe she-”

The door was ripped off its hinges, and I may have screamed like a little girl as a great green insect demon swarmed into the room. Lisa jumped up and raised a shaky hand that glowed blow, but Sussurro hugged her tight and whispered, “No, it’s alright.”

Through the hole she’d just made, Kal’tsit walked calmly. She glanced around at us, mouth in a thin line. 

“It seems we experienced a failure of communication.” She lifted a radio to her mouth. “Cancel the all-hands order. Return to your posts. False alarm.” Pocketing the radio, Kal’tsit nodded to Monst3r, who shrank down, but did not vanish, instead slithering outside to fill the breach in the wall where the door had been. 

“Dr. Sussurro. When, in the midst of a crisis, you tell me to drop whatever it is I am doing and come to you immediately, my mind goes to dark places. Indeed, I made the assumption that Dr. McCoy was either dead or dying, and you were under attack by additional enemy forces. I would ask you to more carefully select your words, the next time you-”

“Lisa just used my arts to heal Kroos,” I interrupted.

Kal’tsit stopped in mid-sentence, mouth actually hanging open. Slowly, she closed her mouth, then walked over to kneel in front of the still rather terrified little girl. 

“Lisa. Tell me exactly what it is you did,” Kal’tsit said quietly. 

“I, I…Moushiwake arimasen!” Lisa gasped, bowing her head. 

Kal’tsit’s mouth quirked in a smile. “Do not apologize. You have done no wrong. It is I who should apologize to you, Lisa-chan. Sumimasen. Now, please. How did you do this?”

“Um, I…I just…I could, well, I could sort of…hear…what Bones-Sensei did,” Lisa admitted. “Um, when he used his arts…it was very strange. It was like…like he was speaking to the body. Commanding it to heal. So, ah, I tried the same thing. But, it wouldn’t listen as well to me, I didn’t know how to ask properly.” She bowed her head again. “Gomen'nasai, Director-Sama.”

Slowly, Kal’tsit stood up, blinking a few times. “I…see. But I have not…how…This requires further investigation. Sleep, child. You will need your rest.”

Lisa nodded weakly, and Kal’tsit passed her hand over Lisa’s eyes. There was a faint green glow, and Lisa began to breathe evenly. 

“She also dropped her infection level I think,” Sussurro whispered. “She…she metabolized the originium when she copied James’ arts.”

“Ah.” Kal’tsit was quiet for a moment, then she tilted her head back, closing her eyes. Tears began to trickle down her cheeks, and a moment later, her body began to shake. Kroos and Lava were crying as well, holding on to one another, though Kroos was giggling. Actually, Sussurro was crying as well, and I quickly drew her too me. 

“James, James do you understand?! Santi e angeli, this…this changes everything!” 

“Yeah,” I said quietly. “I…I’m not unique. And if she can learn that…then someone could learn to cure oripathy, too.”

“It is a step. It is proof. It is everything I could have wished for,” Kal’tsit said, her voice raw with emotion, tears still streaming down her face. She knelt and gently kissed Lisa’s forehead. “And this child…this child shall be the first. Truly, she is Our Light.”

Shaking her head, Kal’tsit picked up the radio. “Locate Maria Nearl and get her to the executive level immediately.”

That was about the time I noticed I’d wet myself, so I excused myself to the bedroom to wash up and change. By the time I got back out, Blemishine had arrived. She had her hair up in a ponytail and her face and hands were a bit black with grease and soot, and she was wearing a very unflattering pair of overalls with a Rhodes Island shirt underneath.

She also had a giant glowing sword and a determined expression, so I hazarded that she didn’t think she’d been called because we needed something fixed. 

“You do not need your sword, Maria,” Kal’tsit said, shaking her head. “Remind me, how are your healing arts?”

“Uh, fine, Director?” Blemishine said, her sword’s glow fading before she put it on a sheath on her back. She frowned over at the sleeping Lisa, then at me. “May I ask, what is this about? The entire landship, it is like a kicked speckling nest! We had the engines at combat speed when you called me up.”

“James, come here. Maria, watch carefully,” Kal’tsit ordered. Then she drew a scalpel and cut a long line across the back of her arm. 

Maria let out a horrified gasp, but Kal’tsit ignored that. “Watch closely, Maria. James, heal me.”

I complied, and the wound soon vanished. 

“I, Director, why did you show me this?” Maria demanded, still looking shocked and disgusted. 

“Did you see the arts?” Kal’tsit demanded. 

“I, well, yes, I did,” Maria admitted. “But why-”

“Can you replicate them?” Kal’tsit pressed. 

“Replicate?” Maria blinked, then looked at me, then at the perfectly mended arm. “I…well, perhaps?”

Without flinching, Kal’tsit cut herself again. “Try. Do not use your normal arts. Replicate what you saw.”

Hesitantly, Blemishine took Kal’tsit’s arm. She examined it, then sighed. “I am sorry, I was too shocked. I did not get a good look. Please, I will watch closely this time.”

I nodded and healed the cut, only for Kal’tsit to immediately cut herself again.

“Jesus, Director. We could just find someone with a cut and have her heal them,” I muttered. “No need to self harm.”

“You are manifestly capable of healing me if this experiment proves fruitless. Maria?” 

“I did see the arts…they are very strange…it is like…like you are commanding the body to heal? No, like…reading it a recipe? I am sorry, I do not have the Victorian to say…” Maria pursed her lips, then put her finger to Kal’tsit’s wound. She clearly tried to use arts, but nothing happened. After a few moments, she suddenly sighed and slumped over. Texas had to catch her, and Sussurro was at her side in an instant.

“Arts overdose. But I didn’t detect any arts use,” she pronounced after a quick exam. 

“She is uninfected,” Kal’tsit said with a nod. “Pity. She is the only other Elder race aboard with any grasp of healing arts.”

“You think the key is that Suzuran is an infected Elder Race?” I asked, frowning. “That would leave…Ch’en, Ceobe, the Nearls, Hellagur, and…um, well…Ho’ol.”

“There are other options, but Elder races are rare, and…hmm…perhaps a Sankta…” Sussurro muttered. 

“For now, this is enough. We will bring this to the medical panel as soon as Dr. Sussurro can compile a report,” Kal’tsit said.

“I’ll get on it immediately!” Surrurro declared and dashed over to her workstation, where she began to type furiously. 

Kal’tsit looked at the sleeping Lisa, and now Maria, who had been put in our bed for now to recover. She watched them for a moment, then shook her head. “I will order your door replaced. This is an unexpected development, but it is, perhaps, the breakthrough we need. More data will need to be collected, but it is now unequivocal that your arts can be replicated, or at least, the healing portion can. If we can also replicate the drawing of oripathy from the subject…”

“You can’t ask Maria to infect herself, or Lisa to make hers worse,” I said quietly. 

“And I shall not. There are Elders with healing arts I know of. I just…why can I not use this ability?” Kal’tsit murmured. She began to face, brow furrowed in thought, hands collapsed behind her back. 

Sussurro stopped typing and leaned back in her chair to regard Kal’tsit, while Texas had posted herself by the door and was sharpening her sword. Kroos and Lava had been relieved, but Projeket Red and Rosemontis were guarding us now, so I think we had that part covered. 

After a minute or two of pacing, Kal’tsit paused in her pacing and turned to look at Lisa again. “Do you know the origin of the Elder races?”

“I…well, the best theory is that they evolved from species with a high amount of native arts in them,” Sussurro said.

“This theory is, to a degree, correct, but it makes an error. The Elder races did not evolve. They were created with intent,” Kal’tsit said, her eyes still focused on Lisa. 

Sussurro and I both stayed silent, but Texas was no longer sharpening her sword, both ears having perked up. 

“I speak of this so that you might know what I do, and perhaps help me arrive at a conclusion. Would that my Father were here…but alas, we must make do for now. You see, the Elder races were created by my own progenitors. They were made in the image of mythological creatures from the past of that civilization, the names of which became the names of the Elder races themselves. They were formed and tasked as servitors, much as I was. Their task was to oversee the terraforming of Terra itself, along with various projects. They were given…they were given…”

Kal’tsit paused. “Never mind. I seem to be prattling on. Twenty words or less, as you said, Bones?”

“No, uh, keep going,” I urged. 

“Another time. Ah, the maintenance crew is here. See to the door. I have tasks to attend to,” Kal’tsit said, then hurried off. 

I went to kneel beside Lisa, watching her breathe as she slept. Sussurro slipped out of her chair and came to crouch beside me, and I put my arm around her shoulder and she leaned into me. 

“I do want one,” she whispered to me. 

I nodded. “Yeah. I…sort of do too. And if this works…Maybe I don’t have to die.”

“You never did.”

“Yeah, I just…I dunno. Assumed I would.”

We sat there for a long time, then Sussurro got up and got back to work. I didn’t have much to do, so I sat down and wrote all this down. 

Fuck, man. First, I get saved by a bunch of little girls, then I get shown up by one. 

The kids are alright, you know? 

The Second Archon War: Animula Choragi 21

Animula Choragi 21: Be Prepared

Disneyland was supposed to be the happiest place on Earth Bet. Fortuna sat atop a stool, plastic Mickey Mouse ears on her head, a nutella crepe in her hand. It was everything she should have wanted: more food than she could eat, endless wonders and rides that she could never have dreamed of back when she’d lived in Mycenaean Greece as a peasant. 

Instead, she felt utterly miserable. She could hardly feel the future, let alone see it. She listened to the chatter of passersby and felt utterly alone and helpless. She needed…something. A bit of dendro-infused hashish, some electrified mushrooms, a glass of wine made with hydro. 

She cocked her head to the side, where she could hear Dehya devouring a crepe of her own, rather messily by the sound of it. She wasn’t quite sure where Geoffrey was. Probably not more than a few feet away, but it was too noisy for Fortuna to get a good read on his location. Maybe if she waved her cane around and smacked him. But no, she was trying to prove she wasn’t childish. 

“Can I see your hand?” Fortuna asked Dehya. 

“Huh? Uh, sure, ma’am,” the mercenary said. There was a bit of slurping, and Fortuna imagined Dehya was trying to lick crepe off her fingers, which was proven when a slightly wet hand slipped into her own. 

Fortuna used her fingers to trace the lines on Deyha’s palm. She was fairly good at that, having practiced palm reading even as a girl. 

“You’ll get married and have two children,” Fortuna said absently, reading the life line. “Two boys, three years apart. You haven’t met their father yet.”

“Uh, I don’t exactly plan on having kids, ma’am. Wait, haven’t met their father? Shit, don’t let Geof hear that, he’s got a crush on me!” 

“The horror. My subordinate doesn’t want to sleep with me,” Geof’s voice said from Fortuna’s left, but she ignored it. 

“You’ll be grievously wounded in battle against…I can’t see it, but something horrible, but save many lives in the process,” Fortuna said, feeling frustrated at how vague her predictions were. If she had a little elemental energy, she could SEE for real!

“Eh, not the first time. If you rub my belly, you’ll see a neat scar where this fatui put his claws into me and nearly ripped my guts out! Thought I was dead for sure. Fortunately, there was this Anemo Vision Holder in Riga who saved my life.”

“Riga was a fucking nightmare. Never should have taken that job,” Geoffrey snorted. “Too much risk, not enough reward.”

“Was the right fucking thing to do, boss, and you know it,” Deyha said sternly, and Geof didn’t respond verbally.

Fortuna came to the end of the palm, and froze. “And today…today you will…”

“Huh? Ma’am? What’s wrong?” Deyha said, putting her other arm on Fortuna’s shoulder to steady her. 

Today, you will meet the Hydro Archon. 

Fortuna sat bolt upright, looking around desperately. She couldn’t see a thing, of course. Her eyes were as ruined as ever. She dropped her crepe and heard Deyha yelp.

“Got it! Whew, almost lost your treat, ma’am, I- Ma’am? Where are you going?”

One hand extended, the other tapping her cane about desperately, Fortuna staggered into the street. A few people swore at her for getting in their way, but Fortuna ignored them. Geoffrey and Deyha were at her side in a moment, Deyha gently but firmly taking Fortuna’s free hand. 

“Ma’am, where are you going? If you want to get on a ride, we can do that, easy. Fast pass lanes and everything. Boss or me will go with you, of course.”

“You, stay with me. Right at my side,” Fortuna pleaded, hand gripping Deyha’s tightly. 

The Hydro Archon. She was here! If only Fortuna could find her, then she could get a Vision, and regain her sight! Not her eyes, of course, she didn’t need those. But she could see the Future again! 

An hour later, Fortuna was hot, sweaty, and frustrated. She had found absolutely nothing, and had simply scampered about the crowded streets of Disneyland Paris, well, blindly. Deyha and Geoffrey thankfully weren’t complaining about her desperate wandering, but Fortuna was feeling increasingly claustrophobic despite being outdoors. It was so frightening, knowing that all these things and people were about her, but unable to see what was happening about her. She gripped Deyha’s hand tightly, letting the other woman guide her.

“Just a little further, then we can rest,” Fortuna panted. She wasn’t in very good shape, and the brisk walk and stress of not knowing where she was going, Deyha had needed to guide her away from walking into bushes, lakes, and walls more than once, was wearing her out completely.

For a brief moment, Fortuna missed her Path, missed being Contessa. Then she firmly shoved that away. No. She needed to see the true Future, to be able to save the world from doom. She couldn’t lose sight of that. Har har. 

“It’s a good day for a walk, ma’am, never you fret!” Dehya said cheerily. “We’ll just-woah!” 

“DIANE! GET BACK HERE!” a woman’s voice shrieked. 

A moment later, Geoffrey grunted, then swore as the sound of someone hitting the ground came, and Fortuna felt a sense of panic as Dehya let go of her hand. 

“Hey kid-c’mere before-shit!” Dehya gasped.

Blindly waving her hand and cane, Fortuna gasped as something grabbed her leg, then scrambled up her body. She writhed in panic as whatever it was used her like a ladder, tugging at her T-shirt and jeans to pull itself atop her head, knocking her mouse ears off. There was suddenly a loud squawk and the air was battered, as a bird fluttered about Fortuna and buffed her face with it’s wings.

“HONHONHON ! REGARDEZ ! JE SUIS LA PLUS PUISSANTE DES CHASSERESSES ! CAR J'AI CAPTURÉ CE RAT AVEC UNE AILE ET JE LE CUISINE POUR MON SOUPER!” *

“”DIANE!”” two women’s voice screamed, and a moment later someone steadied Fortuna as…was that giggling in the background? And the snap of a camera?

“I am so, so sorry! She just, Diane, get DOWN this instant, young lady!” a breathy and oddly familiar female voice said as the owner both tried to keep Fortuna upright, and grab whoever it was from atop her head

“Jeune fille, si tu ne lâches  pas ce sale oiseau tout de suite et ne descends pas, je rendrai personnellement justice à tes fesses!”** another very angry woman’s voice said.

“Mais Mutti, tu n'as pas vu mon habile démonstration de prouesses à la chasse ? Et n'est-ce pas un beau et gros rat ailé que j'ai capturé ?”*** a breathy girl’s voice said. Apparently, a child was atop Fortuna’s head. There was an audible crack, and the bird stopped fluttering as its neck was snapped by the girl, who then allowed the two women to haul her down. 

“Je vais vous demander à tous les trois de vous éloigner de Mademoiselle Fortuna,” Dehya’s cold voice said, and Fortuna heard the click of a weapon. “Lentement et calmement. Les mains là où je peux les voir. S'il vous plaît.”****

The air suddenly grew damp with Hydro, and Fortuna sensed the rush of elemental energy. Her mind whirled. French. They were all speaking French, but Fortuna had lost her Path, and thus, lost most of her French. Thank the gods she’d learned English properly instead of relying on that demon to give her words. 

“STOP!” she wailed, jumping to what she hoped was between Dehya and these three very strange women. “DON’T SHOOT!” 

She was roughly collared by a pair of hands that felt like Geoffrey’s and hauled behind him.“Tabernac, maintenant, nous sommes dans la merde.”***** Wait, was he Quebecois? Fortuna hadn’t realized. “Dehya, two more behind us. We’re trapped.”

Fortuna couldn’t SEE! This was so frustrating! But she could make some guesses. “Geoffrey, Dehya, she’s a child! She just…did she climb me to catch a pigeon?”

“She did indeed,” the hauntingly familiar woman’s voice said, her tone exasperated. “Sorry, we didn’t mean to cause you any trouble, but do put that gun away before Yennifer or Charlotte do something rash…”

“Oh, ich bin also der Unbesonnene, oder? Sie bedrohen meine Tochter und ich werde es tun

jemandem eine Lektion erteilen.” ******

Now German? Fortuna was confused, but desperate. She struggled vainly against Geoffrey’s hands, but it was hopeless. She was so close, she knew it!

Wait, that voice…

“You, you’re Furina de Fontaine, aren’t you?” Fortuna gasped.

“Um…yes? Yennifer, calm down! Diane is fine…if a very naughty girl.”

The girl pipped up then, and somehow Fortuna got the impression she was being held up by the scruff of her neck by an angry mother cat, which made no sense at all. “Je suis désolé de t'avoir sauté dessus, mais c'était le seul moyen d'attraper mon dîner ! Je le partagerai avec vous, si vous m'aidez à attraper un autre rat avec des ailes.”*******

“Gott en himmel!” The angry German woman said, then suddenly switched to French. Was this Yennifer? “Nous ne mangeons pas ce dégoûtant pigeon. Nous avons des réservations chez Walt. Si vous ne nous faites pas expulser du parc.”********

“I’m so sorry, our daughter-” Furina began. 

“Hold on, is that kid a cat?” Dehya asked, sounding startled. 

“Câlisse! Yes, she has the ears and tail of one,” Geoffrey said, just as obviously surprised. 

“Hem hem, Bonjour Bonjour!” Yet another new voice said, further muddying the waters for Fortuna. “Ai am, ah, Charlotte Lustria le, 'ow you sai eet? Le Crystal Truth, oui? Zis is…my seestair, Yénnifair, and mon futuair seestair een law, Furina, and mon niecé, Diane! Shé eez ze ah, cat girl. Diane, dis que tu es désolé auprès de la gentille dame et de ses gardes du corps.”@

“Mais je ne suis pas désolée !” Diane huffed. There was an audible smack of flesh on flesh. “Aïe ! Sniff.. Je suis désolée.”@@

“You see? She eez vairy sairry. You weehl 'ave to fairgive hair, shé 'as been a girl fair on-lee three dais! Befaire zat, she was but a lit-tell kitten. Non, non, do not turn bak, Diane. You promized befaire we came, oui?” Charlotte said in chipper tones. 

“She’s just a kid, boss. I think this was just a misunderstanding,” Deyha said, and there was another click. Fortuna prayed that meant the gun or whatever it had been was going away. 

“No, I’m the one who’s sorry,” Fortuna said desperately. She turned her head about desperately, but she couldn’t see, dammit! “How about I buy you all lunch to apologize!”

“There’s no need-” Furina began, but was immediately interrupted by Diane who shouted, “J'ai faim! Laisse-moi cuisiner le cochon pour notre déjeuner !”@@@

“A lit-tell lunch would be fun, oui? Come, come, zeré eez a stall right zere. Wé can 'ave zum lunch and talk. Reahlly, ai 'ave to know, why eez a blind woman wiv deux québecois bodyguards wandaireng around Disneyland Paris?”

“None of your business,” Geoffrey growled. 

“Oh, Miss Fortuna? She’s just an eccentric millionaire! Poor dear lost her eyesight in a water skiing accident, and her mom hired us to visit Disneyland Paris with her!” Dehya said brightly. 

“That’s not what happened,” Furina said, sounding suspicious. “I don’t know if…”

“Furina? You are thinking this is not a good idea?” Yennifer said, switching to English.

“No, no, sorry. Yes, we should have lunch! Please, Miss Fortuna? Come this way,” Furina urged. 

After Fortuna did a little pleading with Dehya and Geoffrey, and they were satisfied that four Vision Holders and their Enlightened Beast daughter really were just at Disneyland for the day as a holiday, the fourth being another girl named Barbara who introduced herself with perfect English, they all sat down in the shade of a small cafe and ordered lunch. 

Fortuna, however, ignored the food, which was unusual for her. All her will was concentrated on the women before her. She could feel it, just a little. The elemental Energy. Charlotte had a Cryo Vision, so she was out. But Barbara, Furina, and Yennifer all had Hydro Visions. But one was false. It had to be. This had to be it. 

Unless it was the little girl, who continued to complain that Yennifer had thrown away her pigeon, or at least, Fortuna assumed that from the whining and sulking in French. 

It probably wasn’t Furina. Fortuna knew who she was because she’d heard the woman sing on internet videos that Deyha had played for her to cheer her up while she was stewing in her room. She’d also heard that Furina had been arrested and imprisoned the week before, along with Barbara, actually. So that meant that Yennifer was surely the Hydro Archon. 

“So, you got horns and a vision? Are you an Enlightened Beast, too?” Deyha asked while they waited for their food. 

“No, I was a parahuman,” Yennifer said. Her accent was British, but it sounded more like a German speaking with a British accent than a French woman, which was odd. 

“Was? Didn’t know you could stop being one,” Geoffrey said, his tone mistrustful. 

“Lord Barbados exorcised my parasite. I just have the horns as a reminder. They don’t even come off or explode anymore,” Yennifer said.

Wait, horns, parahuman, Yennifer…that’s right! She had been a Knight of Favonius! But, wait. That made no sense. How could she be the Hydro Archon then?

“Well, I think they’re charming,” Furina said fondly. Yennifer almost ignored it, then she realized something. Furina had actually said, “Egó gár nomízo óti estín idýtatoi.”

Or…no. It was just…Fortuna understood her as if Furina was speaking her mother tongue. If she didn’t think about it, she perceived it as English, as that was both what she expected and the language Fortuna thought in most of the time. It was subtle, but…that effect…twice before, Fortuna had experienced it. When she’d met Nahida Saeed…and when she’d met the Tsaritsa. 

Licking her lips and swallowing, Fortuna asked in a small voice, “Ágion, ár' apokrýpteis tín parousían sou ap' imón?” 

Holy one, do you conceal your presence from us?

“Huh? Ma’am, what was that? Sounded like phlegm to me,” Deyha said. 

“I, I am sorry, I just- I need to go to the restroom!” Furina said in a panicked voice.

Fortuna tried to stand, but Dehya was on her right, preventing her from getting out. “I, I need to use the toilet too!” 

“Ok, ok, I’ll take you there, ma’am,” Dehya said, and guided Fortuna towards the bathroom. As she did, she leaned in, “Look, if you got a crush on her, I hate to disappoint but she’s attached. That Yennifer woman is scary. That sword she summoned…look, I don’t know much, but I would NOT want to get hit with that thing.”

“What? No, just, follow Furina!” Fortuna hissed. 

She had to know. Had to get her Vision. She had to see once more. 

Gasping for breath, Furina burst into the restroom and then sagged against a sink. Her heart was racing, and she felt an overwhelming sense of panic. Had she slipped up?

No, I don’t think you did. You’re much more in control of your powers than you used to be. I’m not sure what’s going on, but that one…I think I recognize her. 

Furina wracked her brain for a moment, then gasped. The Seer! The blind seer that had been the first one that Furina had seen receive a Vision! Only, this woman had no Vision. That was odd enough, but Furina was now familiar with seeing things that had not yet come to pass. 

Ah yes, her. No, that is yet on future shores.

“She hasn’t found her Justice,” Furina whispered to the mirror. Then she let out a squeak of fright and spun about as the door banged open and the woman Fortuna staggered in blindly, followed hotly by her female bodyguard, Dehya. Both women had dark hair, though Fortuna’s was curly while Dehya’s was straight and thick, with the tips dyed blonde. They both had the olive skin of someone from a Southern Mediterranean country, Greece by what Fortuna had said, and Dehya’s French had been oddly accented. Not like her companions, who had been Quebecois. 

Algerian, I think. Not her mother tongue, but one she knows well. 

Furina put her hand to her chest, “You startled me! Please, I just need a moment.”

“You can understand me, can’t you?” Fortuna asked, her milky white eyes looking desperately slightly to the right and above where Furina’s head was. It took Furina a bit of effort to know she was speaking Greek, and not the modern tongue. This sounded…old. In fact…Fortuna felt old. Ancient, even. Indeed, she felt older than Furina did. 

She has been unmoored from Time itself. Interesting. Not the first person I’ve met who experienced such a phenomenon, but oddly enough, until a few years ago, she was still aging. Time seems to have been governed differently before our brethren began to arrive upon this world, but it has properly been reasserted to function as it should. 

So she doesn’t age?

Oh no, she’s quite Cursed. Since she was cast out from her own Space and Time, the flows of time will ignore her. It makes her quite the seer, actually. Being without the temporal anchor that most mortals are bound to should give her a similar perspective to ours when it comes to time. 

“I do,” Furina said slowly, deliberately speaking the same archaic dialect that Fortuna was. “You can see me, can’t you, Seeress?” 

Sobbing, Fortuna actually sank to her knees, which alarmed Dehya greatly. The other woman tried to interpose herself between Furina and Fortuna. “Whoa, hold on now, what’s going on, Fortuna?!”

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Fortuna babbled in English. “Just, let me touch her, please.”

“It’s alright, she just…she’s happy to hear someone speak her own language,” Furina said, and gently knelt before Fortuna on the tiled bathroom floor. Dehya reluctantly stepped aside, but she kept her hand on that clockwork gun she had. Clockwork wasn’t quite the right name, but it was some sort of masterwork by an artificer, or what this world called a Tinker. Her companion had a suit of armor that had covered his body and two blades he could call up. Odd that they were allowed weapons in Disneyland, but when security came to investigate, one look at a badge had been enough to convince them to leave Dehya and Geoffrey alone. 

“Goddess, you are the Hydro Archon,” Fortuna said in Greek again, tears trickling down her cheeks as she took Furina’s hand, her own trembling. 

“Please, do not tell anyone. I must remain hidden. If the one known as Scion, the King of Demons, finds me…I will not be able to do what I must,” Furina said. What that was, she didn’t know yet. Not even Focalors seemed to fully have a plan just yet, but remaining hidden was her best asset at this point.

“There are many who look for you urgently,” Fortuna said, gripping Furina’s hand. “My…my companions. My mother. They seek to fight the King of Demons, but-”

Fortuna bit her lip, and Furina could sense the trepidation in her. “They’re no friends of mine, are they? And you, Fortuna?”

“I serve the gods. You have come back to us, to your children, in our time of need. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? To break the Cycle, and save the world,” Fortuna whispered, still gripping Furina’s hand tightly as her eyes darted about, as if she could see the shapes of the future. She probably could, actually. It was clear to Furina this woman had a gift. 

“I don’t know why I’m here, exactly. I died back in Fontaine, and woke up here. At the very moment of my sacrifice, when my people were spared destruction by my and my mother’s death…I came here. I don’t know if I can save France, or this world. But I defied Heaven once. If this is the role I must play to give the people Justice, then it is one I gladly accept,” Furina said truthfully. 

Fortuna nodded desperately. “Can…can you give me back my sight?”

Hesitantly, Furina reached out and touched Fortuna’s eyes. She was no healer herself, but-

DEATH. 

With a hiss, Furina jerked back her hand as though she’d been burned. “What, what took your eyes?!”

“I cut out my demon with Theoktónos. The knife I used to kill the evil god that had fallen to Earth, the wife of Scion,” Fortuna admitted. 

“I am afraid that the power you wielded was greater than my own. I cannot give you back your eyesight,” Furina said, shaking her head and rubbing her tingling hand. 

“No! I, I need a Vision! To be able to see the Future! To guide my friends and people through what comes to safety!” Fortuna begged. 

Ah. “That’s not…I’m afraid I can’t just give you one,” Furina said, feeling a bit ashamed at the admission. 

Fortuna wilted, but then nodded. “I understand. I am not worthy.”

“You will be. You just need to find your Justice,” Furina assured the prophetess, then helped her to her feet. “Now, um, I actually do really need to go to the bathroom…so if you’ll excuse me.”

“Of course,” Fortuna agreed, then blushed. “I, er, Dehya…help me find a stall, please…”

After seeing to her business, Furina went back to the table with Fortuna and Deyha, where Charlotte was waiting to pounce. 

“Zo, Miss Fairtuna, I’ve been doéng zum diggeng online. Do you 'ave any commont on la group known as,” Charlotte paused for dramatic effect, her eyes gleaming as Barbara held up her camera to record the reaction, “CAULDRON!?”

“If you’ve been doing digging online, then you know that if I did, I could say nothing, and if I didn’t, I would still say nothing,” Fortuna said with a shrug, easily playing it off. 

Deyha and Geoffrey, however, had both gone stiff, their expressions becoming utterly blank, and Furina and Yennifer both sighed as Charlotte’s eyes gleamed. “A-ha! Zo, zen yo-”

“Will drop it, and enjoy this nice lunch while we are on holiday,” Yennifer growled. Charlotte shot her a scandalized look, and would have said more, but the waitress came over, all smiles just then. 

“How was everything, everyone? Did you leave room for dessert?” the waitress was dressed up like a meerkat from the movie The Lion King, which was yet another film that Furina had not had the opportunity to watch, but seemed quite charming. 

“Yes! I want to know the recipe for Chakalaka!” Diane said excitedly, her tail lashing back and forth. 

The waitress blinked. “Oh! Is…is that…? Never mind, um the recipe is-”

“Yes! It is real,” Diane bragged, preening at the attention. “I am indeed a little lioness! I only decided to become a human three days ago! See? I have real cat ears! If you promise to give me the recipe, I shall consent to let you pet them to show your devotion.”

The waitress cooed over Diane, but glanced at Furina and Yennifer first. “Um, is one of you her mother?”

“We’re her mothers, yes,” Yennifer affirmed. 

“Oh! Um, congratulations! She’s so adorable! The cooks really would get a kick out of seeing a real lioness at Cafe Hakuna Matata, and I’m sure they’d love to share the recipe with her…”

And so, Furina, Yennifer, and Diane got a private tour in the back, where the cooks did indeed exclaim over how adorable their daughter was, and Diane got to put on gloves and a hair net, along with a chef’s hat that was much too big for her along with an apron with Timone and Pumba on it. Charlotte and Barbara documented the whole thing, eagerly snapping pictures and interviewing the cooks, who universally were in love with Diane and her enthusiasm. 

 Then, several of the chefs eagerly instructed Diane on how to cook the chakalaka, which was a vegan dish of tomatoes, sweet peppers, white beans, and chickpeas. 

“She is a fine little chef!” one of the cooks laughed as Diane very seriously tossed the dish in the pan with both hands, as she’d been instructed. 

“She’s got quite the passion for it,” Furina agreed. “Not sure where she got it from: neither Yen nor I are more than indifferent cooks.”

“Do you not remember, Maman? When you rescued me from the stinky dark place, you took me to a wonderful warm place full of food, where Master Ling and Uncle Mao work!” Diane said, not taking her eyes off her cooking. 

“I’m surprised you remember that. You were just a kitten, not more than a couple of weeks old,” Furina said, smiling at Diane as she labored over the food. 

“She really was a cat?” one of the cooks asked curiously. 

“I AM a cat. I just also decided to be a human, because it’s very hard to cook without thumbs! Now pass me that seasoning, this needs more cha-cha! You know, the tasty powders!” 

In the end, Diane eagerly presented her dish to Fortuna and her bodyguards, bowing politely and having to hold her chef’s hat to her head, as she refused to take it off. “I am very sorry. I shouldn’t have used you like a tree to catch the pig-on. Even if it would have been very tasty.”

After Furina translated what Diane had said into English for Fortuna, the blind woman smiled and shook her head. “There is nothing to forgive. I am grateful you chose me as your tree, Diane. May you be as great a huntswoman as your namesake.”

Fortuna took a bite, then exclaimed over how tasty the dish was and shared it with Dehya and Geoffrey, who agreed it was quite good. Diane puffed up with pride, and strutted about, declaring, “Yes, yes, my chakalaka is the most tastiest in all the land!” 

After that, there were more pictures, the staff of Cafe Hakuna Matata reluctantly bid farewell to Diane, though they did let her keep the chef’s hat and apron to her delight. 

They were going to go on a few more rides, but a few steps from the cafe, and Diane began to flag. She walked over to Yennifer and mumbled, “Carry me,” stretching her hands up.

Yennifer scooped up Diane, who snuggled up on her shoulder, and in a few minutes, passed out. They’d been at the park since it had opened, and it was now midafternoon. Apparently, that was enough fun and excitement for now.

“Well, I don’t want to leave just yet, but we’ll need to find a quiet, shady place to let Diane nap,” Furina said. That was something children did, wasn’t it? 

She wasn’t surprised Fortuna insisted on coming along, even as Charlotte badgered her with more questions that increasingly had Dehya and Geoffrey uncomfortable. 

Yennifer leaned in to Furina, “That blind bimbo isn’t bothering you, is she?”

“She’s a very powerful seer and prophet,” Furina whispered back. “She knows who I am, but has promised not to say anything. Let her tag along. I have a feeling she’ll be very useful as an ally.”

Yennifer’s eyes went wide as she adjusted the now drooling Diane on her shoulder, but she nodded. They found a place in the shade of a few trees and settled down, settling Diane between them and letting the sleepy girl rest for a while.

They had been sitting for about fifteen minutes, Furina getting ready to take a nap herself, when she sensed something dangerous approaching, the hairs on the back of her neck standing up. She looked around, but saw only a couple of security guards walking by. Still, something didn’t feel right. She sensed the presence of a demon, and held Diane to her protectively. 

“Furina?” Yennifer whispered, suddenly alarmed. “What is-” she trailed off, then glared at the security guards, who were leering at them. 

“Having a pleasant afternoon, Mademoiselle Lustria?” one of the guards said. He was a misshapen man, with a crooked nose and a face that looked like he belonged in a circus freakshow. One leg was slightly taller than the other as well, and he was slapping his palm with his billy club. Odd, Furina hadn’t seen security guards with those at Disneyland before. Wait, his badge was malformed as well, and that other man.

“Schleich di, Iron Mask,” Yennifer growled. “And take your toady with you.”

The security guards twisted, and suddenly a USIP Captain and Iron Mask himself stood before them. Furina gasped and clutched the still snoring Diane to her, while Charlotte and Barbara lept to their feet, a book appearing in Charlotte’s hands, and a spear falling into Barbara’s. 

“Put those away, girls. We don’t fight this one with steel,” Yennifer said coldly.

“I could have you fined for that,” Iron Mask sneered at Charlotte and Barbara, behind whom Fortuna was looking about wildly, while Deyha and Geoffrey were trying to pull her away. Iron Mask turned his attention back to Yennifer. “I’m here out of courtesy to give you a warning. Keep that beast where it belongs. If it assaults another person, I’ll have to have DDPP haul her away as a public menace. And keep it on a leash.”

Fury roared through Furina’s veins, and she had to very firmly put the Hydro Authority out of her own grasp to prevent her from blasting this enfoiré from here to Normandy.

Oh, if you won’t, I will! How DARE he call my beloved granddaughter an it!

Gently, Yennifer handed Diane to Furina, then stood up, her face expressionless, and tone mild. “Are you threatening my daughter, sir?”

“Daughter? Don’t be absurd. That thing is an-” Iron Mask raised a hand to block Yennifer’s furious slap, and grinned at her. “-animal. Much like its owner.”

“She is my DAUGHTER. Accidental or not, that child is mine and Furina’s! And Diane is loved and treasured as any child should be!” Yennifer raged. 

Iron Mask tut-tutted and shook his head. “Legally, it’s nothing but a cat. And, as you should know perfectly well, animals are property, and treated as such.”

“As of 1976, France has recognized animal sentience! They have rights, and Diane is no animal!” 

“She has the right to be put in conditions according to her biological needs. Which, as a cat, does not include trips to Disneyland,” Iron Mask said coldly. 

“She just attempted to assault you, sir. Should I arrest her?” the USIP captain asked.

“No, no. She is but a woman, overwrought because of her delicate attachment to her pet. It would not be gentlemanly to press charges over such a thing,” Iron Mask chortled. Then he leaned in, his eyes flashing with deadly calm. “Miss Lustria. I have tolerated your shenanigans long enough. You will defy me no longer. I can still press charges against your lover and sister. I can have your pet taken away for public safety. For now, I will not do these things. But try my patience again, and I will not stay my hand. If I were you, I would take my little farce of a family and scurry back to Germany. Wouldn’t we both be happier, then?”

Yennifer seethed, but aside from balling her hands into fists, said and did nothing. 

“This is your only warning. As I said, consider this a courtesy. Keep that thing tamed, and out of the way. If she becomes a public nuisance…well. On your head be it.” With that, Iron Mask turned his back and strode away, taking on the guise of a Disneyland security guard, the USIP captain’s form shifting as well. 

Yennifer stood there, panting and trembling as Furina picked up Diane, who mumbled and stirred, and stood up next to Yennifer.

“Charlotte,” Furina said quietly. “We’re going to make another video.”

“You got it,” Charlotte said, stepping up next to Furina. “I can guess the subject.”

“You got it on video, didn’t you, Barbara?” Furina asked. 

Barbara nodded grimly. “Every word of it.” 

“Good. We’ll be posting it online,” Furina said, her mind already racing ahead and calculating. “Contact the newspapers. The television stations. Your mother. Everyone. We need a massive campaign to get the laws changed. Let everyone who’s coming to the Bastille Day Rally in two days know what’s at stake now.”

“I can help!” Fortuna said, hurrying forward, her cane clacking on the ground. “I didn’t understand what was being said, but it seemed serious!” 

Furina turned and smiled at her, though the other woman couldn’t see it. “Having a prophet on our side will be most useful. We’ll need to consult you as to our best course of action.”

“Of course!” Fortuna added eagerly. 

“We’re not supposed to get caught up in local politics. And Iron Mask is the ally of our employer,” Geoffrey said, sounding rather firm.

“Geof?” Dehya growled. 

“Yes?”

“Fuck off. We’re in,” Dehya said, her eyes flashing. “Fuck that guy. Your kid is adorable and precious, and anyone who fucks with cat girls fucks with the entire internet.”

“Dehya, Saint Security-”

“Is going to stand up for the rights of adorable cat girls anywhere, or I quit here and now!” Dehya vowed. 

Geoffrey groaned, but didn’t protest further. 

“Then let’s get to work. We have a lot to do before the show begins,” Furina said, and turned and hurried for the park exit. 

Arrest Furina herself? She could live with that. Taunt her lover and run roughshod over the people? Furina would work within the system to bring about Justice and change.

But threaten her daughter?

It was time for the God of Justice to lay down the law. 

Author’s Note: 

Ya’ll done goofed. Ya got the Cinamon Roll mad. Ya shouldnta did that. 

Translations:

*”MWHAHA! BEHOLD! FOR I AM THE GREATEST OF HUNTERS! I HAVE CAPTURED THE SKY RAT FOR MY DINNERS!” 

**”Young lady if you don’t drop that disgusting bird right now, I’m going to deliver justice to your behind!” 

***”But mother! Do you not see my skillful display of prowess as a huntress? And look at how fat and beautiful this flying rat is I caught!”

****”I’m gonna have to ask all three of you to step away from Miss Fortuna. Hands where I can see them, please.” 

*****Holy Tabernacle, now we’re in the shit. 

******“Oh, I’m the reckless one? They’re threatening my daughter and I’m going to kick their ass. 

*******”I’m sorry I jumped on top of you but it was the only way to catch dinner! I’ll share if you help me catch another rat with wings.” 

*********” (Oh my God, German), we’re not eating that disgusting pigeon! We have reservations at Walt’s! If you don’t get us kicked out of the park!”

@ “Diane, tell the nice lady and her bodyguards you’re sorry.” 

@@“But I’m not sorry! OW! I am sorry.”

@@@”I’m hungry! Let me cook this pig-on for lunch!” 

May I Enjoy My Life: Entry 27

Entry 30, Day 63

I just realized, I’ve been on Terra for two months now. A month on Rhodes Island. It feels like a lot longer, you know? Like this is where I’ve been all my life. Not much happening, really. Doing rotations, practicing medicine. Well, for a given value of medicine? I feel like I’m a doctor with cheat codes on now, which is weird. Or more like a cleric class from a video game. It’s still medicine, the patients are still real, but it’s not the same. 

I do miss Exusiai. She always brightened the room she came in. My ass isn’t even sore anymore. Hopefully, she has fun with the durins and keeps them from that volcano or whatever it was that was going to ruin their day. Her and Gavial know what they’re doing though, so it should be fine. 

Entry 31, Day 66

Haha, I win! I am a genius! I AM EEN VEENCIBLE!

Let me explain: I’ve been grinding on Wintermaul daily. I have all the races now, it was about 5000 credits to unlock them all, but that’s basically $50 so I don’t feel too bad. I’ve dropped way, way more on Arknights, and it’s not like I’m a broke college student anymore. There’s other cosmetics and stuff but since the races do not include cute anime waifus, I don’t care. 

Which is why at lunch in the hospital, Sussurro stomped over to me and glared at me while I gave her a shit eating grin, and Fang and Texas shifted slightly. She held up her phone and pointed to the screen. 

“You knocked me out of first place?!”

“Just on the weekly challenge,” I told her. “I’ve been practicing my Seaborn/Summoner strategies anyway. But I did beat you by 147 points.”

Sussurro glared at me for a moment, but her lips were twitching. At last she laughed and gave me a hug. “I’m so proud of you! Now, let’s see if you can compete with me on something aside from a gimmick ladder.”

“You’re going to just let me take the win?” I asked, half surprised. 

“Hell no, but unless I discover a new strat I’m pretty sure you’re close to maxing out the score regardless,” she told me, hopping into a seat beside me and accepting the tray I passed to her. It had been sent up from the cafeteria, roast cystybeast with gravy, carrots, and mashed potatoes. Tasted like roast beef. 

She did manage to get a higher score that evening after we got off work, but so did I. The week ended with me in the lead by 29 points. Not a huge margin of victory, but I successfully claimed my crown and Sussurro acceded victory to me, then gave me a fun surprise in the bedroom as my reward. I’ll have to think of something for her when she inevitably beats the pants off me next week. It’s Ice/Tech, which she’s an expert with, and I suck at. 

Entry 32, Day 69

Nice. Turns out, they have similar memes here on Terra. Sussurro and I celebrated appropriately. 

Also, she completely beat the pants off me this week, and I don’t see that changing. Oh well, there’s always the next challenge week. 

Entry 32, Day 74

Well, today’s the big day. They’ve been monitoring my levels constantly, and I’ve been doing a lot of healing with arts. It’s been more than three weeks since I last cured someone of oripathy. So, they’re going to have me do it again. I’ve been ready for a while, but we waited until my levels dropped to .18 u/L and 5% cell integration. There’s scaring on my arm, but my lesions have shrunk or vanished, leaving behind only healing tissue. I’m still blind in my left eye and my right arm is half-paralyzed, but if we’re careful, and we’re being careful, I probably won’t be further crippled.

At least, not this time. 

The subject this time has been chosen extremely carefully, and not by me. It is someone I still know: Vigna. Her real name is Shara Veyton. Born in Kazdel as Eshara Veyth, her parents moved to Columbia when she was a baby to escape the endless wars and seek new opportunities. Vigna herself has been employed at Rhodes Island for some time to treat her oripathy, and was selected by Dr. Kal’tsit, Dr. Warfarin, and Dr. Zivahar, and old Lich from Kazdel. 

Zivahar arrived a week ago, and I haven’t really spoken much with him. He’s examined me, looked at the test results, and asked me a few questions about my abilities. He keeps a mean poker face, but aside from that, nada. 

Additionally, there’s another familiar face: Dr. Olivia Silence from Columbia. She’s come with Ifrit, who is apparently her adopted daughter, didn’t know that, to observe my next cure as well. She’s been far more outspoken, demanding to see me use my abilities. She’s accompanied me on rotation three times and taken a plethora of notes, calling my ability “Far outside the natural bounds of arts.” 

Thanks, you’re a freak too. Though I guess she means it as a compliment. 

There’s also Dr. Grace Arizona, Breeze, from Victoria, Dr. Ceylon Doykos from Siesta, Dr. Yun Qingping, Record Keeper, from Yan, and Dr. Wilhelm Falkenrath, from Leithania. Dr. Wilhelm is the only one I don’t know. He’s a serious Caprinae doctor with a white goatee he strokes all the time and glasses, though he’s vigorous enough that he demanded the opportunity to practice medicine on Rhodes Island to learn our techniques. Not just mine, but in general. It seems he’s collaborated often with Rhodes Island often enough that he was welcome, and he has decent bedside manner, though he’s rather serious and stern most of the time. 

All of these doctors, just to see me cure someone. There’s more crowded into the observation room of the OR, and this feels less like a surgery and more like a circus to me. Still, I sat down with Vigna before the operation with Sussurro, and went over a few things. 

We met with Vigna in a small conference room. She was fidgeting nervously, her black ascot in her hands. When Sussurro and I entered, she jumped up, a nervous expression on her face. 

“Hey! Um, listen, I’ve been thinking, and like, yeah, I’m infected and all, but really! My case isn’t so bad, you should really be curing someone else, Mr. Savior. I’m totally cool with living as an infected, my whole family is infected, ‘cause, you know, Sarkaz, and it’s not like-”

“I’m going to stop you right there, Shara,” Sussurro said firmly. “You were chosen precisely because your case is mild. We need data, and having Dr. McCoy cure multiple mild cases will let us establish more data points. Additionally, we need Sarkaz data points. You are a Sarkaz with a mild case, and you were selected from a list of potential candidates very carefully. It’s going to be you. The number of deals and bargains that had to be struck for this would boggle your mind. So sit down.”

Slowly, Vigna sits back down, and tears from in her eyes as she nods her head. “So…so you’re really going to cure me? I’m not…I’m not going to die?”

“Well, something could go wrong in the surgery,” I tell her, taking a seat with a clipboard. “This surgery is extremely experimental, and while it does have a zero percent mortality rate, it does involve drawing the oripathy from your body’s cells. One person did die on the operating table and had to be revived. That was when we knew less, so the risks should be fewer, but they’re still there.”

Running her fingers along the brim of her hat and spinning it through her fingers, Vigna nods soberly. “Yeah, I mean, that makes sense. I just…it’s worth the risk, right? I mean, I will die of oripathy. Even with the drugs, I’m .19 and 5%. So like, yeah, mild case, but in 20 years, even with the good meds…I’ll still probably be dead or wish I was.”

“This should cure you completely. We’re going for a full scrub,” I said, and Sussurro pulled up some diagrams on a screen. We talked through the process with Vigna, who studied them intently, but I could tell she was lost. We’re trying our best to put this all in layman's terms, but it’s very complicated.

“So, I’ll be out the whole time, this will take a few hours, and when I wake up, I’ll be cured?” Vigna asked, trying to summarize the whole thing. 

I nodded. “That’s the long and short of it, yes. Again, there are risks involved. And you’re OK with them?” 

She took a deep breath. “I couldn’t ask you to do this for Aciddrop or Cutter? They’re my best friends…”

“No. They’re not Sarkaz. We desperately need data from Sarkaz patients,” Sussurro said. She leaves out that the Sarkaz are demanding we cure one of their own. There’s been some pushback from other groups on this, especially angry letters from Ursus and Yan, but all of the doctors here have agreed testing my abilities on a Sarkaz patient is a wise move. 

“Ok, ok. Then, um, yeah! Let’s rock and roll!” Vigna agreed eagerly, raising both hands in a rocker’s salute. 

That was yesterday. Today, Vigna is on the operating table in a gown, looking nervous, but giddy at the same time. The anesthesiologist has her count back from ten after putting the mask over her face, and she’s out like a light before she gets to seven. 

“Making first incision,” Sussurro said, cutting along a predetermined path as the hemodialysis machine is hooked up. Vigna has had three sessions of dialysis in the last week to scrub as much originium from her blood as possible before this operation, but she’s getting one last cleaning during the surgery. 

The incision is on Vigna’s abdomen, along the midline, and is quite large. I stick my bare hands in there. We’ve tried gloves and other things as barriers for the originium, but it either rips through the barrier or I can’t even pull on the infection. Skin on skin is best then, as there’s no bits of latex or rubber that can get through. Yeah, it’s risky for me, but what can you do?

I begin to draw the originium in. Vigna doesn’t have that much: she’s rather petite, 142cm and 36 kilos. That factored into her selection: small body, small originium load. Still an adult, so none of the risks healing a child would have. She’s the same size as Sussurro, actually, though if you count the ears, Lucia is the taller of the two, even with Vigna’s horns. 

It doesn’t take very long for me to absorb all of the originium, then heal up the damaged organs and the incision. Using the hemodialysis machine takes longer, another two hours. I don’t have to do much at all to purify the blood, though, the machine takes care of that. Another pass over her body with my hands to make sure we got every granule of originium, and that’s a wrap. 

I feel…fine? A bit tired, yeah, it’s a lot of work and arts, but honestly, I feel like I could do it again. We decon, then I’m tested thoroughly. My levels did go up: I’m at .24 u/L, and 8% cell integration. There are a few small spikes on the back of my right hand again, but I barely notice them at all.  

The long, exhausting part is actually the marathon meeting with all the doctors from around Terra afterwards. 

“This is completely unprecedented,” Silence said, looking at two X-rays: one of Vigna before the surgery, the other after. There are clear shadows and visible granules on the first image, the second is entirely clear and healthy. The blood tests show she’s at 0 u/L, 0% cell integration. She’s already up and walking about. She’s cured. 

“Ve knew of zis already, jah?” Dr. Wilhelm said, peering over the rim of his glasses at me. “Ziz is zee fourth case. Aside from zee vun vhere you deliberately did not attempt to cure zee patient of oripathy, zee results, zey are zee same. It is all very plain. Dr. McCoy, you can indeed cure oripathy, as claimed.”

“At a great cost,” Dr. Yun said, shaking his head. “Dr. McCoy has contracted oripathy himself. I have been a doctor for many years, but I do not know that I would be willing to give myself oripathy save to cure someone dear to me.”

“In fairness, the first time, I didn’t really know what I was doing. Maybe I wouldn’t have if I’d known curing patient zero would give me Super Cancer,” I said with a shrug. 

“Bullshit,” Silence said, which earned her a frown from Yun and Wilhelm, but nods from the others at the table. “You sucked those crystals into your skin. Even if we ignore the fiction that you’re an anura, or aegir, or whatever it is they’re lying about today, fuck off, Kal’tsit, we all have eyes and medical degrees and this is off the record, you had to know what putting originium into your system would do to you.”

I nodded reluctantly. “Yeah, OK, I did, it’s just…he was a kid, and he was going to die.”

Silence’s expression softened. “Dr. McCoy, I’m not just insulting you. You have my utmost respect. If I could do this for Iffy…I would. Granted, she’s my daughter, but still. No, I’m not asking you to do that…yet. But this is, essentially, a miracle. Warfarin, have you made any progress whatsoever on replicating the arts?”

“No,” Warfarin said, grimacing and shaking her head. “Not even slightly. We’re beginning to sort of understand the arts he uses to reknit bodies, but how he pulls the oripathy out? Not a chance. We’ve got our best arts experts on it, namely me and Kal, but so far we got nada.”

“Hard to blame you,” Celon said, tapping her lips with one finger. “This is indeed as close to a miracle as I have ever seen. It’s amazing, but…what’s the practical application?”

“Zher are several I can see, actually,” Wilhelm said, and all eyes turned to him. He raised three fingers. “First, zis use of hemodialysis…zher is potential. Vee have used it before, jah, but vhat if vee combine zhis therapy with zee new drugs? Ziz may allow for a reduction in the severity of cases. Not a cure, no, but zhis could prevent progression and greatly improve zee prognosis of our patients.”

He ticked off another point on his fingers. “Second, it should be possible to artificially draw out originium from infected organs. Vee half industrial equipment zhat can do this in ore, no? Vee have not considered zee application of such devices medically before, but…in mild cases? Perhaps zis could act as a cure. It vould need to be done carefully, perhaps only one organ at a time, but…vell, if not a cure, a great reduction when combined with other therapies, jah?”

“That’s entirely possible, and worth pursuing,” Dr. Arizona said with a nod. “And your last point?”

Whilhelm clasped his hands together, and I saw tears sparkle in his eyes. “Only zhis: Hope. I have…vell. I have been a doctor for forty years. Jah, not as long as Director Kal’tsit and Dr Warfarin, or Dr. Zivahar, who vas my mentor. But! In zhat time…zher vas no hope. You contracted oripathy, you died. Oh, zher vere talks of cures, of therapies, but zhey vent nowhere. Jah, ve have drugs zat improve zee prognosis, but zee side effects, and zey only slow the disease…but now? Now, ve have a cure. Jah, for now, only zhis young man can cure it. But! Vhat one man can do…science can replicate. Ve are doctors! Arts are no mystery to us. Ve analyze zhis. Ve study it. Maybe it takes five years, ten years, a century! But it does not matter. Zhis cure, it has been found. Now begins the true work. And ve can do zhis! If ve vork together, if ve can convince our political masters to only give us time, give us funding…zhen ve vill crack zhis code. I have already written zhee Twin Empresses expressing this. I urge you all to do zee same.”

“A-fuckin-men to that,” Silence growled, pounding the table with the flat of her hand. She grinned, her eyes sparkling. “Ladies and gentlemen…let’s get to work.”

Them a whole lot of people way smarter than I am, including Sussurro, started talking seriously about how to replicate what I did using both arts and machinery. They talked about that modified mining equipment, and about ways of using medicine to get a body to metabolize originium like a slug did, or more specifically, I did. I gave insight and comments where I could, but there’s a huge difference between knowing how to practice medicine as a first year resident and having decades of experience practicing medicine as well as the research background these doctors did. 

At some point, I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom, and I shuffled over with the help of a cane. I hadn’t been in there long when the door opened. I thought it would be Texas, come to watch me piss, but instead, it was Dr. Zivahar. He walked up to the urinal next to mine, totally breaking bathroom etiquette, as there was an open one on the end he could have used.

“You are not from Terra.”

I blinked, then looked up at him. His eyes were fixed forward as he did his business, the sound of splashing liquid coming from both of us. “Uh, yeah, obviously I am. I mean, it just wouldn’t make sense otherwise, right?”

“It is the only thing that makes sense,” he said, eyes still forward. 

“Er, how do you figure that?”

He turned his head slowly, dark eyes meeting mine evenly. “You do not hate me.”

That was so wild, I actually jerked back. What the fuck? “Doctor, no offense, but I barely know you. Why would I hate you? From what I’ve seen, you’re a competent physician. Sure, you’re a cold fish, but that’s not like, a reason to think you’re an asshole.”

“That is not what I mean,” he said, turning back to his business to get the last few drops out. “You did not hate Eshara Veyth either.”

“She goes by Shara or Vigna now,” I said, feeling a flash of irritation.

A look of disgust flashed over Zivahar’s face. “Yes. A Columbian name. So many of our people hide their heritage by taking new names when they leave Kazdel. Even my kin. Many of us took Leithanian names. I did not. I am not ashamed to be a lich. To be Sarkaz.”

Ah. Now I thought I knew where this was going. I zipped my pants up clumsily; it’s still hard to do left-handed. “Just because I’m not a racist piece of shit doesn’t mean I’m not from Terra. Look at the people here on Rhodes Island! They’re not racist. Well, I mean, mostly. I’m sure there’s a few assholes.”

“You do not understand. You are not from Terra.” Zivahar shook his head and turned to go to the sink. “I trained Dr. Whilhelm forty years ago. Even as a young man, he tried to be fair to me. Tried to hide that bone-deep hatred. Protested it when he saw it in others. Married my daughter Dahmira, as a matter of fact. But you know something? When each of my grandchildren were born, the look of relief on Whilhelm’s face, and indeed, on Dahmira’s face, when they came out as Caprinae instead of Sarkaz? It was obvious. He knew, as their mother did, as I do, that if they had been Liches, if they had been Sarkaz…their lives would have been much harder.”

I went over to the sink and clumsily washed my hands, digesting this. I like to think I’m not racist. I grew up in Southern California. Went to public school. Granted, my neck of the woods was pretty white, but I had latino friends, black friends, asian friends, and dated Latina and asian girls. White girls too, if they’re hot I wasn’t picky, but you know. And, fuck, he was right. I did react slightly differently if I saw a big black guy walking towards me down the street than I did if he was a big white guy. I suppressed it, I tried not to let it show, ever, but a teeny, tiny part of me…fuck. 

What he was talking about was true: I had zero inborn racism against Sarkaz. Well, I mean, it’s probably cultural mostly, but to me, all Terrans are equally alien, and I’m cool with it. 

“You will cure other Sarkaz, won’t you?” Zivahar said, again not looking at me as he scrubbed his hands. 

“I mean, I hope so. Every cure could be my last one. This one went OK, but…I’ve nearly died from every other cure attempt I’ve done. It’s actually five, now.”

“Ah. Dr. Sussurro?” Zivahar asked, nodding. 

“Uh, yeah. Didn’t cure her all the way, but…”

“Good for you. I myself do not have oripathy, nor does my wife. But if she did, she would be the first one I cured,” he said. He used a towel to dry his hands, then turned to me. “Do not let the others convince you to forget the Sarkaz. I do not trust that maniac Qassirah and her desire for glory, nor do I forget the horrors the Ancient Witch has visited upon my people. So I beg you, Dr. McCoy: Do not forget the Sarkaz. Do not let us be trampled over by others. Do not let Eshara be the only child of Kazdel you cure.”

With that, he left, and I felt like I’d just been punched in the gut. I slumped back to my seat and sagged into it, my head hanging, feeling utterly exhausted. After a minute or two, Sussurro noticed. She was very engaged in the conversation, but she broke it off. “I’m sorry, but I think James needs rest. I’m going to take him back to our quarters and monitor his condition.”

The others nodded and smiled, save for Silence, who gave us a lecherous thumbs up. She’s…not what I expected? I dunno, just thought someone named Silence would be quieter. 

We went back to our rooms, where Sussurro checked my levels again, then lay down with me in the bed. I was too tired to do more than cuddle, but we did that for a long time. Not watching TV or gaming, just holding one another. I told her about what Zivahar had said, and she listened quietly. When I finished, she kissed me, and I could feel tears on her cheek. 

“It’s true, what he said. Not as bad in Leithanian because the Lateran church never got a foothold there, and the Liches were a part of the royal court for so long, but yes. It’s there. They’re still the Devils. I try so, so hard not to let it influence me, but…but it’s still there, at the back of my mind, in my subconscious, no matter how hard I try to suppress it. I guess you can’t understand that.”

“I can. Just, not for Sarkaz. There were different races on Earth. Well, I mean, it was really just skin color, but…”

“Skin color? You were racist against people because of their skin color? Surely there were other differences; it can’t just be that,” Sussurro said, clearly baffled. 

“I mean, a lot of it was nationalism, that sort of thing? But really it boiled down to skin color,” I admitted.

“That is the most stupido stronzo thing I have ever heard,” Sussurro laughed. Then she sobered. “I guess no world is perfect. And really, hating the Sarkaz, in the end, is just as stupid as hating someone because they’re blue or green.”

“Uh, no, it was just, you know, regular skin tone colors. Brown to pale tan.”

“That’s even dumber.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.”

I thought for a bit about if anything would have changed if Vigna or Zivahar had been black. I decided that no, it wouldn’t have. Yeah, there’s that subconscious, kneejerk reaction, but I’ve never in my life done anything overtly racist, and never saw my parents do so either. We all have our prejudices. What matters is that we overcome them. 

The Second Archon War: Animula Choragi 20

Animula Choragi 20: Ev'rybody Wants to Be a Cat

Charlotte stepped through the door of the apartment, and was immediately assaulted by noise. That was a bit confusing, because what it sounded like was a manic child being scolded by their parents, not her older sister finally getting laid. Indeed, she’d not even closed the door before an orange blur dressed in one of Charlotte’s old T-Shirts ran up to her. 

“SISTER! WILL YOU PARTAKE IN MY RAT WITH ME!? MY MOTHERS REFUSE MY BOUNTIFUL OFFERING AS A HUNTRESS!” 

“I told you that damn rat is going out with the trash!” Yennifer snarled, appearing to grab the little girl by the arm and haul her back inside. “Get in and close the door before she escapes!” 

“But I want to go out! You go out, and I have seen places with grass to run in, and trees to climb! Also, there are birds out there, and I dearly wish to hunt one!” the girl pleaded, then looked up at Charlotte. “Sister, surely you will take me on a walk, that we may stalk birds and bring them home for our dinner!” 

“I…what?” Charlotte managed, for once at a loss for words, stepping inside and closing the door behind her. “Who is this sassy, lost child?”

The girl let out a gasp of outrage. “Do you not recognize me, your own sister?!”

“It’s Diane,” Furina said, looking as frazzled as Yennifer did. “And she’s been like this since we woke up. We’re still trying to figure out what to do.”

Charlotte looked down at the child, who was pouting on the couch where Yennifer had forcibly seated her. Yes, that was a calico colored tail twitching in irritation behind her, and those were two cat ears poking up from amongst her orange, black, and white hair. Out of curiosity, she lifted up a lock of the messy hair to reveal no ears where they would have been on a human, which made Diane bat at her in irritation. 

“Wow, so which of you got knocked up?” Charlotte said, grinning at Furina and Yennifer, who both went scarlet with embarrassment. “Ha! Just kidding. So, are you ready to finally admit what you are and do an interview!?”

“I’ll um, admit that I’m ah, gay,” Furina said, taking Yennifer’s hand and grinning at her in that love-sick fashion that Charlotte found both nauseating and rather fascinating. Why couldn’t she get any boys to look at her like that?! They all panted after Barbara like a bunch of dogs. What did she have that Charlotte didn’t, aside from breeding, money, curves, popularity, and an agreeable personality?!

See, this was why sometimes Charlotte hated her powers. She couldn’t even lie to herself convincingly.

“Furina, I’m pretty sure you’re actually the last person to realize you were gay,” Charlotte said, then paused, considering. “Except for my sister, which means the two of you are perfect for one another, I guess.”

“This is boring,” Diane piped up, looking irritated. “They’re my mothers! The first thing I remember is Blue Mother saving me from…from that horrible place! Then Red Mother helped take care of me!”

“Sure, ok, but, question, how did you become a human?” Charlotte said, sitting down and examining Diane. “Yesterday you were a cat.”

“I just decided to be one,” Diane said airily, sticking her nose up in the air. 

“Do you know?” Yennifer asked Furina, who sat down and scooped Diane onto her lap. The little girl immediately snuggled up to Furina, looking terribly pleased with herself. 

“No, but such things do happen,” Furina said, stroking Diane’s hair. The little girl actually began to purr, looking cute as a button as she did so. “I’ve seen the studies: When a living being absorbs enough elemental energy, it gains sentience and usually assumes a humanoid form. I’ve known Blubberbeasts, birds, dogs, and yes, cats, that have done so in the past. Even a couple of house plants over the centuries, though I only read about those, and they were in Sumeru.”

“Sapience, not sentience, but I take your point,” Yennifer said, sitting down with Furina and putting her hand on Diane’s back, who smiled contentedly and rubbed her cheek against Yennifer’s arm. They were just so precious! 

“Well, I’m very happy to have a little sister now!” Charlotte declared, and gave Diane a hug. For a moment, everything was warm and peaceful.

Then, Charlotte realized something. “Wait, does this mean I have to share my room!?”

Furina and Yennifer blinked, then exchantged a look. 

“Um, w-well…I will get another check this week, so perhaps we should look for a bigger apartment?” Furina said nervously. 

“This is going to be a big change,” Yennifer admitted, rubbing her antlers in thought. She looked down at Diane, who cocked her head to one side. 

“I do not mind sharing a room with big sister! She usually lets me sleep in her bed anyway.”

“That was when you were a tiny kitten!” Charlotte said, blushing. She had been spoiling the cat rotten, but sharing her bed with a little girl was way different!

“For now, you’re going to have to share, Charlotte,” Yennifer said with a shake of her head. “This is going to be…expensive. First things first: We need to get Diane some basic necessities. Clothing, toiletries, and of course a birth certificate. Though I have no idea how we do that…”

“Don’t forget toys! She’ll need books, and art supplies, and we should get her ears pierced! A young lady needs jewelry,” Furina said firmly.

“Sparklies!? For me!?” Diane gasped, and her eyes twinkled in delight as her tail swayed back and forth. 

“And a haircut. She definitely needs a haircut,” Charlotte said, mussing up Diane’s hair, which made her hiss at her, then grin. 

“Yes! I want my fur cut in fancy ways like yours!” Diane agreed eagerly. 

“It’s a good thing the show was canceled for tonight, this is going to be busy,” Furina said, putting a hand to her forehead. “And yes, it will be expensive. I may have to call Marcel and ask for an advance…”

“We’ll just put it on the credit card for now,” Yennifer said with a sigh. “But yes. Let’s get everything together and go shopping.”

Charlotte was already dressed and raring to go, but she did snap a picture of Diane and message Barbara. 

U will nt believe this 🐱🪄🧒🥰

A few seconds later, Barbara responded with;

OMG, SO CUTE! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ Who is that? Is that srsly Diane?! 

omg, ys! happened last nite i guess? 🍑💦🍑🏳️‍🌈🪄🐱🧒

Barbara took a minute to respond, but her response made Charlotte snort with laughter. 

Bestgod.jpg

i no rit? 💧♥️🌈🐱🧒

('-')? So now what? She’s like, your sister, right? (๑﹏๑//)

💯💯💯 fuk ye dianes my precious bby sis now  ♥️♥️♥️🐱🧒♥️♥️♥️

※\(^o^)/※ 

we r going shopping rit now 🛍️ u wanna come? 

(*´･ω･`)ﾉ Yes! I will tell Pierre and we’ll bring the car. Be there in 30! ε=ε=┏( >_<)┛

“HEY YEN, FURINA! BARBS IS GONNA COME AND BRING HER CAR!” Charlotte shouted.

“What!? Why did you tell her!? I haven’t even decided how we’ll handle this!” Yennifer called, from where she and Furina were trying to convince Diane to hide her tail under a too big skirt, and the little catgirl was yowling and clawing in protest. 

“What?! Why are you making her hide?” Charlotte demanded, going over and picking up Diane, who snuggled up to her and glared at her mothers. Wow, that thought came very naturally, didn’t it? “She should be proud of who she is! The very first daughter born of two lesbians!” 

“That’s not exactly what happened,” Yennifer sighed. 

Furina patted her on the back. “Sorry, um, that’s basically exactly what happened.”

“You…you don’t want to be my mom?” Diane said in a trembling voice, tears in her eyes as she looked at Yennifer pleadingly. 

Yennifer immediately softened and took Diane from Charlotte, hugging her tightly. “Of course I do, schatzi. Just call me mutti. You can call Furina maman. This is just…very surprising, that’s all. And legally tricky. Your very existence is a legal grey area.”

“Well, you and maman both do legal things, so I know it will be OK,” Diane said, hugging Yennifer tightly. “Don’t worry! I will learn to cook, and make delicious meals for us all!” 

“I’m sure you will,” Yennifer said, and kissed Diane’s messy hair. “Well, this is as ready as we’re going to get, I suppose. Now stay close to us, and don’t run off. Hold someone’s hand at all times while we’re outside.”

“I am a mighty huntress! I need fear NOTHING!” Diane boasted. “But, for your protection, I will consent to hold your hands. Especially when the noisy fast things go by. You can protect me. I mean, I will protect you.”

“Oh you’re going to get to ride in a noisy fast thing! They’re called cars, and Barbara’s will be here soon!” Charlotte chuckled. 

A short time later, Barbara texted she and Pierre had arrived, and Barbara burst out of the car to squeal over Diane. “Oh my gods, you are just so CUTE! I mean, you were cute as a kitten, but this is even better!”

The little girl obviously preened under the affection, taking it as her due. “Yes, truly, I am the cutest in the world! All should praise me and my adorableness!” 

“How old are you, I wonder?” Barbara said as they all got into the car, Yennifer sitting up front with Pierre while everyone else sat in the back. Diane looked nervous about being in the “fast noisy thing” and clung tightly to Charlotte and Furina’s hands in the middle seat, looking slightly pale.

“She couldn’t have been more than a couple of weeks old when I found her,” Furina mused, but Barbara shook her head. 

“No, I mean, how old is she, physically? She looks like she’s ready to start Grande Section, so five or six?”

“What is this Grande Selection? Why are they picking me? Have they heard of my many marvelous qualities?” Diane asked suspiciously, peering out the window as the city sped by. There was light traffic on a Saturday morning, so they were going somewhat quickly, but not too fast. 

“But she sounds a lot older,” Charlotte mused. “Hmm, good question.”

“School,” Yennifer groaned, clutching her antlers. “She’s going to have to start school in the Fall! How do we register her for school!?”

“One thing at a time, dear,” Furina said, and Yennifer sighed and lowered her hands.

“Hehe, dear,” Charlotte snickered. “‘Cause she’s got antlers.”

Both Yennifer and Furina gave her flat looks, while Barbara giggled. That was why they were best friends. Same sense of humor!

The very first shop was a second-hand children’s clothing store. The clerk glanced at them when Diane came in, holding Charlotte and Barbara’s hands and looking around curiously. “Shoes are required for…” she trailed off, blinking in surprise. 

“I want shoes! Sparkly ones! Preferably in pink! It is my favorite color!” Diane declared loudly, her tail whisking back and forth, and one cat ear peaking out from the hat that had been shoved on her head. 

“She, um, well, she was a cat this morning,” Furina admitted. “She just sort of…” She gestured broadly. “Surprise! So, um, we will need shoes. And everything else.”

“I…I guess you will,” the clerk said, blinking slightly in shock. Then, she grinned and crouched in front of Diane. “Oh, she is so cute! Were you really a cat before, sweetie?”

In response, there was a poof of elemental energy, and Charlotte stumbled as Diane’s hand vanished from hers and the t-shirt fluttered to the ground. Diane scampered out from underneath it, then bolted for the shoe rack.

““DIANE!”” Yennifer and Furina screamed and scrambled after the kitten, bumping into clothing racks and displays with crashes and bangs as they chased their gleeful daughter about the store. The clerk just stood there, hands over her mouth in shock. A couple of other customers peered at the ruckus in confusion, and a few children cried excitedly, pointing at the kitten as it scampered about. 

“To answer your question,” Charlotte said, taking out her camera and a digital recorder. “Yes. Yes she was. Still is, in fact!” 

Furina finally managed to catch Diane after diving for her, only for Diane to turn back into a girl, sitting atop the sprawled out Furina and raising her hands in triumph. “Haha, that was fun! Now, let’s get clothes!”

“DIANE!” Yennifer shrieked, and grabbed the first dress to hand, stuffing the very naked child into it while the parents gasped and the other children laughed and pointed in delight. 

“Maman, look! The kitty turned into a girl!” 

“Papa, papa, can Mimi turn into a girl too?!”

“Everyone, may I have your attention please!” Charlotte declared, using her Vision to create a swirl of sparkling ice, which got the entire store to look at her. She beamed at everyone and gave her best winning smile. “Thank you! Please, excuse little Diane’s behavior. This is her first day being a human! She’s still learning how to behave, and I’m sure my sister and Mademoiselle Furina will give her quite the talking too! But, treat my little sister like you would any other person! And, if you’d like to give comments, Barbara and I will be doing interviews for how you feel about meeting the very first Enlightened Beast in France!” 

Turning to the clerk, Charlotte smiled, passing the camera over to Barbara and getting out her recorder for better audio. “Now, Mademoiselle…?”

“Um, Claire Moreau,” the clerk stammered, even as an older woman came out of the back, looking around in worry. “Oh, this is my employer, Madame Sophie Bernard!”

“What is going on? I saw a naked child on the CCTV, and a cat?” Mme Bernard said, frowning. “And why are you doing an interview, Sophie?” 

“That girl, she is the cat! She transformed right before my eyes!” Claire exclaimed. “One moment, she was a girl, the next, a cat, and her owners-”

“Parents,” Charlotte corrected. 

“Parents? Anyway, those two women, they caught her, and then she became a girl again! But they’re buying clothes, so…” Sophie trailed off and shrugged helplessly. 

“Really?” Mme. Berard said, looking shocked and peering at Furina and Yennifer as they scolded the sulking Diane. 

“Indeed! My little sister was my pet just last night!” Charlotte said with a hearty chuckle. Then she beamed. “Now, how do you feel about having the very first Enlightened Beast and her family as customers? This is a fantastic advertising opportunity for Les Petits Habits!”

“Wait, I know you, you were the one on the news, leading the parade!” Mme. Bernard gasped. “And that, that’s Furina de Fontaine! Wait, she’s gay? And has a daughter now!?”

“Yes to both!” Charlotte said cheerily. 

Mme. Bernard beamed. “Well, if you could get me tickets to Les Misérables, I’d be happy to give little Diane her first set of outfits! I’d pay for the tickets, of course, they’re simply impossible to get!” 

“I can get you tickets!” Furina called breathlessly, hurrying over. “For you and a plus one! If you’ll help us get clothing for Diane, we’d be eternally grateful! Um, Yennifer and I have never had a child before-”

“She’s really your girlfriend? I mean, I assume, I saw you embrace on the news,” Mme. Bernard said, blushing and smiling shyly at Furina.

“Um, yes. I, er, well, um, I hadn’t quite…accepted my sexuality, until that moment,” Furina admitted. 

Charlotte was drooling. This was the best interview EVER. She had already gotten massive offers from BFM TV and a few competitor stations, but this was going to catapult her channel to global prominence after she’d already gotten the scoop on Furina. 

“You look lovely together, and your daughter is darling,” Mme. Bernard said, beaming. “Come, come, I’ll help you pick out some outfits!”

“She wants shoes,” Sophie added hastily.

“Of course! She’ll need at least two pairs! And socks, of course,” Mme Bernard said excitedly, and hurried off to help get Diane dressed properly. 

Charlotte and Barbara worked as a team, interviewing several children who were very excited that they got to see a girl who could turn into a cat, or a cat turn into a girl, and were also very curious about Charlotte and Barbara’s Visions.

“Are you a Harbinger? Is the Tsaritsa scary?” one girl who looked to be about Diane’s age of five or six asked. 

“No, it’s just a Cryo Vision. I did hear the Tsaritsa, but I’m a loyal servant of Truth, and a proud citizen of France!” Charlotte declared. 

“Ok, good. I don’t like the Tsaritsa, she’s mean,” the girl agreed. 

“How do you feel about Diane? Would you like her to be in your class at school?” Charlotte prompted, trying to get away from her least favorite subject. 

The girl beamed. “Yes! She can be in Mme. Laurent’s class too! I’ll be her friend!” 

“You won’t be in Mme. Laurent’s class next year,” the girl’s mother prompted. “You’ll be in Grande Section, Camile.”

“Well, she can be in my class anyway. It would be fun!” Camile declared. 

Most of the other children expressed similar sentiments, with many asking how they could get their dog, cat, fish, or even a tortoise to turn into a boy or girl too. Charlotte honestly answered that it was magic, and she wasn’t sure how their pet could turn into a person. It may involve absorbing elemental energy, but Charlotte was pretty sure an Archon didn’t lose the V card every night. Or basically any night but the last one. 

After a couple of hours, they left the boutique with a strutting Diane, who was dressed in a cute little pink blouse with a blue jean skirt, Hello Kitty Special Edition Yae Miko pink trainers, and a cute black and orange beret with holes for her ears. Mme. Bernard having done modifications to all of Diane’s clothes to account for her unique physiology.

“I’m hungry! We should cook something good for lunch!” Diane declared

“Actually, I have been messaging Ling and Julie. We’re taking you to Wanmin Restaurant for lunch,” Furina said. 

Diane gasped with delight. “The Cooking Place! Yes! I must learn to be a master chef like Uncle Mao and Aunty Ling!” 

“Say thank you to Mme. Bernard for helping you with all your clothes,” Yennifer prompted, and Diane went back to hug the store owner, who beamed down at her. 

“Thank you very much! My clothes make me even more adorabler!” Diane proclaimed, twirling to show off her outfit, tail poking out of the hole made just for it. 

“They do, dear. Come back whenever you need another outfit!” Mme. Bernard said, and waved goodbye as they got back into the car. 

“Wanmin Restaurant, Pierre,” Barbara told the driver, and they sped off. This time, Diane tried to peer out of the window, but Yennifer was sitting with her this time and made her stay firmly with her seatbelt on. 

“Thank you for getting her a booster seat, Pierre,” Yennifer said fervently. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“My pleasure, Mademoiselle,” Pierre said with a chuckle. “It’s my own son’s old one, no bother. He hasn’t needed it in two decades. No kids of his own yet, sadly. And it’s been quite a while for little Barbara, hasn’t it?” 

“A few years,” Barbra admitted with a small smile. 

At Wanmin Restaurant, Ling and Chef Mao both came out to greet them, Ling squealing and picking Diane up in a hug. “Oh my gosh, she’s so cute! Is this really the same little kitten I used to feed from a glove?”

“Yes! It is me! I have returned, Master!” Diane said, beaming at Ling. “You must teach me how to make delicious meals, that I may fatten up my mothers and keep them from starving!” She leaned in close as Furina and Yennifer choked and sputtered and said in a stage whisper, “They do not even know how to cook a rat! They threw mine away!” 

“I have some recipes for rat, actually! When everything went to hell in China, well, you learned just to appreciate meat, no matter where it came from!” Ling said with a chuckle.

“See? I told you! If Master knows how to cook rat, you should too!” Diane huffed. 

“Not so loud, the customers might hear,” Chef Mao laughed. “And we only had rat the one time. Though I will confess…I was hungry enough to think it tasted good.”

“That was the last meal I made for mom,” Ling said, her normally chipper attitude faltering for a moment. She dashed away a tear, then grinned. “Come on! I’ll show you how to cook in the back! A tour, just for you, Diane!” 

There were new workers that Charlotte didn’t recognize, and Wanmin’s business was clearly booming. Everyone cooed over Diane, who got her very own chef’s hat and apron, and perched up on a stool, watching intently as Ling showed her how to make fried noodles and Mapo Tofu. She even got to put in some ingredients and stir a bit with close supervision.

“Haha! See? I shall soon become a master chef, just as I am a master huntress!” Diane declared proudly as she held up the noodles she had helped make. 

“And it only took twice as long with your help!” Ling said with a wink.

“Yes! With me, it is twice as good!” Diane declared, then frowned. “What. Why are you all laughing?”

“Because you’re too cute,” Furina told her, and kissed Diane on the cheek. 

The meal was wonderful, just as everything Ling made was, and Charlotte got a message back from Lepine-Pauline.

Yes! I totally did lose my job, my boss is a jerk! I’ll absolutely work for you and Mme. Furina! Are you really paying me 5000 francs to help make videos?! 

Ys, u will b my assistant 🧑‍💼got 2 make more vids, me and barbs need help sending u the files 🎬

“Hey Yen, I need to like, establish a company and stuff,” Charlotte said as her thumbs raced across her keyboard. “And hire someone.”

Yennifer did a wild take. “You need to what?”

“Oh, you know, my channel is really popping off, and I’m getting all these offers from newspapers and television stations and stuff,” Charlotte said casually. “I’m making money but the vids and stuff are a bunch of work, so I’m hiring an assistant. You know, Lepine-Pauline? The girl who got Furina macing those putains on video? She totally lost her job, and now she’s gonna work for me.”

“That is…” Yennifer groaned. “Contract law isn’t really my area of expertise, but I know the right people to get that set up. The problem is, you’re a minor, so…it would have to be in my name.”

“That’s cool. Barbara’s co-founder,” Charlotte said.

“My mother would probably be very supportive of us starting our own company,” Barbara agreed. “I haven’t had as much time to edit now that I’m acting full-time, but I still help.”

“Yeah, Lepine was a graphic artist or something, and she’s worked as a secretary, so she’ll be our first employee,” Charlotte agreed. 

Furina frowned. “And she knows you're a couple of teenagers?”

“Yeah, she’s worked a lot of jobs, and she says I’m nicer than most bosses she’s had. Oh, and I promised you’d sign some stuff for her, Furina. She’s going to help run your channel too,” Charlotte added. 

“Oh! Well, I guess I should make another video,” Furina said, frowning. “Thanking everyone for their support.”

“Yep, you’ll do another dance, do the thank you, and introduce the world to Diane at the same time my vid drops. We’ll have to do it fast, but Lepine can pull an all-nighter and so can Barbs and I since she doesn’t have a show.”

u r cool with an all niter, rite? 🌝🥱✍️🏋️

As long as you help me make sure I don’t get evicted, I’m whatever you need, boss! Lepine-Pauline can do anything but fail! Except for all those other times I failed, but starting today, no more failures!

After dinner, Charlotte did more interviews with Ling, Chef Mao, and Julie, who were all thrilled about little Diane. Truly, the entire world was going to fall in love with Charlotte’s little sister! This was great! Nothing could stop them now!

Leaning forward, Iron Mask looked at the photos his team had taken. “So this…thing…they are claiming it as That Woman’s daughter?”

“Yes, sir,” Cazeneuve said, pointing to one of the photos they’d blown up on a presentation. “She appears to be an Enlightened Beast, as they call it. Those appear around concentrations of elemental energy, and all three women in that apartment have Visions, so it’s not that surprising their pet cat became a girl.”

“No,” Iron Mask said calmly, laying the photos down and steepling his fingers. “It did not.”

Cazeneuve exchanged a puzzled look with the other agents in the room. “Sir?”

“It is an animal. A thing. Not a person,” Iron Mask said silkily. “And we will pass laws to such an effect.”

A slow smile spread over Cazeneuve’s face. “Oh! Yes, sir! I see. So, it’s just a stupid beast, then?”

“Legally, yes. And if That Woman tries to apply for any paperwork…deny it. That thing is no person. It is an abomination. Begin propaganda to that effect. Call them Archon Abominations. Emphasize that thing in China that can destroy villages, the bird and her pet monster she calls a daughter. And that horrible little creature the Shogun parades around. The people hate and fear the Japanese dragons enough after Keiga showed up and loomed over us. Lean into that.”

“Of course, sir, at once!” Cezeneuve agreed, and Iron Mask called the president, scheming up legislation that would see the cat unpersoned, and perhaps even seized if Lustria acted up. It was passed quickly, and signed into law. 

And with that signature, Iron Mask and the entire regime sealed their own doom. 

Author’s Note:

My favorite part of this chapter is actually that I found a way to get everyone’s second-favorite favorite girlfailure, Lepine-Pauline, into this story.

May I Enjoy My Life: Entry 26

1100/7/19

I woke up early and gave Texas a goodbye hug. She’s not much of a hugger, but she gave me one anyway. My poor autistic lupo tries her best! I appreciated the hug, and tried to hide my tears. It felt like I was being exiled, which really wasn’t a fun feeling. Not that it wasn’t familiar, but it brought back memories I tried to keep locked in the deepest, darkest part of my soul.

Which was seeing an unfortunate amount of daylight lately. But that’s OK, because I was going to a fun Durin waterpark where I’d get to relax, chill, and heal up! 

“You keep Bones and Sussurro safe, you hear? I’ll be back before you know it!” I told Texas, giving her a big grin. It’s important to always be smiling! My mom always told me that my smile brightened the room and made her day, and that I could chase rainclouds off her halo. So I smiled, even at her funeral. I did the same for Lemuen when she was sad, and now I do it for Texas, Bones, and Sussurro!

Only, I’m being sent away. Who will smile for them now? I’ll just have to come back. Because Bones is going to save the world, and I’m going to be there for it. This all has to mean something. All according to the Word of the Law, right? 

“I will. Gavial will watch your back. You cover her and Eunectes,” Texas said seriously.

“None better! But this should be easy, right? The briefing said we’re just evacuating, this is barely a combat op!” I said with a laugh.  And seriously, I wasn’t worried. A bunch of durins? I was in more danger of alcohol poisoning than I was those guys. 

“Mmm. Just take care. I’m….worried. About you,” Texas said, her expression serious as always. 

“Nah, I’ll be fine! Promise!” I said with a wink. Then I grabbed my duffel, which had two changes of clothes, my swimsuit, and seven guns. 

Look, even for a short trip, a girl has to accessorize! On my back, I had my most important gun, the one I had been given when I turned twelve. It was my Vector, Viktor. Hehe, it’s always funny when I tell people his name! A girl’s first will always have a special place in her heart; even if she has other loves, she can always come back to her patron. 

In the bag were my two Blacksteel BSW-92s, Scaredy and Katt, named after my favorite crybaby feline who’d gotten them for me! They’re reliable in close quarters, and I’ve gotten pretty good at dual-wielding. It’s harder than it looks to hit two separate targets with pistols, but I can manage it most of the time. Then of course, is my Columbian M4 Carbine Infinite Justice. Look, I got her when I was 16, and I was going through a bit of a phase. But she’s very reliable! Then there’s my Victorian Polar Combat M110, for when I want to reach out and touch someone. I call him the Earl of Headshot. Or just Earl to his friends. For when people bring friends, is my LHK 416 assault rifle, which I named Lenord Harvy Kristoff. Last but not least, is my UVD from Ursus, which is for when they bring the big guys! I call him Sasha. He’s a friendly guy, but he doesn’t stop for anything short of two centimeters of armor plate!

Oh, and a dozen grenades. For if we’re going to have a really fun party! I don’t think the Durin’s do that sort of partying, but if they get rowdy, this girl is ready to rock and roll!

I jogged down to the lower levels, not saying my goodbyes to Bones and Sussurro. They’re probably sleeping, or better yet, still making up, and besides, I didn’t know what to say to them. I’d said goodbye last night, and well…

I did shoot Bones in the ass. I felt sorta bad about that. I mean, he didn’t know me before he got those weird porn pictures of me. It’s just…I felt so violated. Especially after him telling me I was really a Sarkaz. I wanted to say that was a lie, but it just…it made sense. It all did. What happened to Mostima, all the things I’d seen…

Plus, there were people like Oda. He’s just…a chill dude, you know? He doesn’t like me, or at least, he doesn’t like Sankta, but he tries to be friendly! He’s one of those types that keeps his anger balled up and smiles at you even when he’s mad. I can relate, honestly. 

Down at the lower level, there were a lot of busy people. Everyone was loading into caravan vehicles. We were taking a full dozen, full of relief supplies. 

Only, when I looked…there were a lot of ammo crates being loaded on. Oh, sure, they were painted with red crosses and had “relief supplies” written on them…but I know how ammo crates look and sound when they’re loaded. And they’d just painted over the top of them. I began to feel uneasy. Was there something they weren’t telling us? 

Then I saw that Leader and Amiya were directing the loading. That was…weird. Not that Leader doesn’t go help on relief missions, they do! It’s just…normally, when you deploy the Ghost of Babel…it’s because something serious is going on. And Amiya…well, if her and Leader are going…hmmm. 

While I was mulling that over, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, and I whirled. A nun was coming up behind me, dressed in the habit of the Iberian branch of the Lateran church. She smiled at me, and I saw a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth. 

“Sister,” I said, bowing my head, but not moving my eyes from her. An Aegir nun? That was…odd. They weren’t treated well by the Iberian Church, and I’d heard some really nasty comments about them from Iberian Sankta. 

“Hehe, are you coming with us, little bullet? Oh, under the sea, they make such wonderful toys! Will you find one, I wonder?” the sister cackled, and there was madness in her red eyes. 

“Quiet, Specter. This is a relief mission to Sargon,” a tall Aegir woman said, coming to stand beside the nun. 

“Yes, yes, what a relief! To be relieved of all pain, all suffering! To grant joy unto the wicked masses!” the nun cackled. She rubbed her hands together, her teeth bared in a vicious mockery of a smile. “Yessss. Soon! Ah, it calls, can you not hear it, dear Skadi?”

“Just keep quiet and pull your hood up,” Skadi said. She glared at me. “Say nothing.”

“Of course, Inquisitor. I’m a faithful daughter of the church,” I said, bowing my head. Skadi was dressed like a bounty hunter in black slacks, a tall black hat with a blue brim, and a long overcoat that she wore on her back like a cloak. But if there was one religious wacko, there were probably two.

Her lip curled at me. “I am not one of your landwalker- never mind. Just keep your mouth shut.”

I watched the nun and the…not Inquisitor? She gave off the vibes of an Iberian Inquisitor, and she was Aegir, so…hrm. This was getting seriously weird. 

With a bit of searching, I found Gavial directing the loading of some actual medical supplies into a convoy truck. 

“Heya, Gavial. Nice day for a seaside trip!” I said casually, sidling up to her. 

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Can’t believe I’m headed home,” Gavial chuckled. I relaxed slightly. There was Eunechtes and some engineers. You know, the sort of people who actually go on an aid mission. 

But then I caught sight of the two Aegir, who were climbing into a truck where the ammo crates were. Was that Blaze getting in with them? And Surtr, Ch’en, Mudrock…oh.

Oh no. 

I kept my mouth shut, of course, and got into the vehicle I was directed to. I chatted happily with Surtr and Ch’en. Surtr’s got as much of a sweet tooth as I do when it comes to ice cream, so we swapped stories of our favorite confections as we headed out just after dawn. 

For the whole day, we traveled West, which made sense. That night, we drew the vehicles into a protective circle. We were still in Victoria and the roads were pretty safe, but this journey would take weeks. Sargon was a long ways away, and even I had rarely been that far. Plus, we were going to Acahualla, which is dense jungle. Not many good roads, so it would be slow going. 

However, an all-hands meeting was called, and we gathered up. I think I knew what was coming, but I kept quiet. 

Leader was taking charge, Amiya standing beside them. A map had been stuck to the side of a truck with magnets, and it didn’t show Sargon. As I feared, it showed Iberia. 

“Tomorrow morning, we’re splitting up,” Leader said, and everyone grew completely silent. No one even shifted. Everyone was laser-focused on Leader’s words, their dark hood concealing their expression in the light of the LED’s that had been strung up. 

“Two trucks are continuing on to Sargon. Dr. Gavial is leading that expedition, and they are going to relieve the Durin city of Zeruertza. However, as I am sure many of you have guessed, we didn’t bring our elite operators and all this gear to go evacuate a peaceful city,” Leader said. 

I nodded, biting my lip, and a lot of heads turned towards Skadi and Specter, who were standing to the side of Leader and Amiya. Specter was humming to herself and swaying, while Skadi had her hat tipped down to hide her face, leaning against the truck with her arms folded over her chest and a scowl visible on her lips. 

“This is Skadi and Specter. They’re both members of the Abyssal Hunters,” Leader continued. 

I frowned. Abyssal Hunters? Was that a merc unit? I’m pretty well read and very widely traveled, but I’d never heard of them. 

However, Thorns, who was Iberian, let out a startled gasp and muttered, “Sálvanos del Marnacido.”

Marnacido? Sea Born? My blood ran cold. Those, I had heard of. Wait, were these two related to the Profound Silence? The All-consuming Deep?

“Nosotros no somos los demonios, caminante de la tierra. Somos nosotros quienes los cazamos,” Skadi said with a sneer. They weren’t demons, but the ones who hunted demons? This was getting spicy.

“Yes, yes!” Specter cackled, a mad gleam in her eye as she twirled about like a dancer. “We go back to the shore, back to where they call to us! To create a sea of our own, a black sea of endless delight!”

Thorns stepped forward, a scowl on his face. “Forgive me, Doctor. But these two, they claim to be from the Abyssal Hunters? That is a myth, a legend. What proof have you?”

“All the proof you need, little brother,” Skadi snorted. “If you’re too scared of the sea to continue, go back to your dry little nest and hide from the monsters. We will protect you all the same, as we always have the landwalkers.”

“We have received intel. Intel I trust,” Leader said, face turned towards Thorns. “And, the medical department has examined both Skadi and Specter. They’re Abyssal Hunters, from Aegir.”

My eyes went wide. Aegir? The legendary land beneath the waves? I’d thought it was just a myth, and did my best not to think of the Seaborn. That was…not something I wanted to consider. 

“This is a vital assignment. One that the very fate of Terra hangs in the balance upon,” Amiya said quietly. “We’re going to be meeting up with Mizuki, who traveled ahead of us to make contact with the rest of the Abyssal Hunters, and a certain member of the Inquisition we have reason to think we can trust.”

Thorns made a face. “Señora Amiya, no offense, but if you think you can trust the Inquisition…I am afraid you are mistaken. I am from Iberia myself, and I barely escaped their grasp for studying nothing more than history. They see spies and traitors everywhere, and would purge us all for simply being seen with…with individuals such as these two.”

“So you would turn back? Then go!” Skadi snarled, stepping up to Thorns and glaring up at him. 

He regarded her calmly. “I consider myself an alchemist, Senora Skadi. If it is the Demons of the Sea we face, then you will need me, I think. Nor would I abandon my homeland. I will stay, thank you. But to inform the Inquisition…it is unwise, I think.”

“That’s exactly what we’re going up against. We’ll be briefing all of you on the Seaborn, and the nature of the threat they are. We’ve brought our best,” Leader said, and I swear, they met my eye, and my resolve stiffened. They’d chosen me! Me, just a messenger, for this mission? To save Terra from the Horrors of the Sea? I squared my shoulders and puffed out my chest, spreading my wings a little farther. I wouldn’t disappoint them!

“This is an incredibly perilous mission. The intel we have gives us an edge, but we’re going to be facing one of the greatest threats in existence,” Leader said, and we all quieted again. “Amiya and I are here to lead you, but it’s no guarantee of safety. What comes next…it could determine the fate of not just Iberia, but all life on Terra. We cannot afford to have doubters with us. And Thorns, while I recognize your reservations, we will need the Inquisition. While there are those we can trust, and those we cannot, I need you to believe in my ability to determine which is which.”

Thorns bowed his head. “Of course, Commander. I will follow your lead, Doctor. My skills as an Alchemist are at your disposal.”

“Good. Now, here is what we know,” Leader said, and began to lay things out. 

The tale they wove was of the Last Lighthouse, a lost Iberian Battleship, and the legendary Aegir making contact with the surface world is a desperate bid to ward off being consumed by the Devouring Deeps. I held my breath; I was so enraptured. This? This was going to be so awesome! Forget relaxing with durins by the pool, I was going to get to see myths come to life before my eyes! Then shoot them! What more could a girl ask for!? 

Well, I mean, aside from a hot sankta boyfriend I could share Empathy with and get a good dicking. Holy Law I needed that. The Empathy, mostly, but also, damn, I was jealous of Sussurro. I half regretted not tripping Bones into my own bed. But they were so cute together, and Lucia loved Bones. I was just really horny. 

Plus, if I’d done that, I wouldn’t be on a road trip to go bag me some sea monsters! See, this is why I left Laterano! They never let you do anything fun, like kill an ancient horror that drives humanity to madness! 

I was so amped after the meeting, I couldn’t go to bed, so I stayed up and gave my Vector Viktor a good cleaning, humming happily to myself. 

“Well, you’re in a good mood,” Surtr said, grinning at me from her own seat on a rock outside of our shared tent. “So, you looking to kill a god, too?”

“I might need a bigger gun, but I am willing to try!” I said, answering her grin.

“Hmm. Dangerous. The Earth weeps,” Mudrock said from where she was sitting cross legged on the ground, her eyes closed, palms pressed to the stoney earth beneath her. 

“Well then, we’ll just bash whatever’s in our way!” Surtr laughed, fingering Laevatein, her massive sword. 

“Yeah, this will be fun! At least I’ll get to hang out with other Sarkaz and have some fun!” I said brightly, my mind going to how much this would improve relations between our people. 

I was so preoccupied, I missed the awkward silence for several seconds as I cleaned Viktor. I froze, then looked up. Mudrock’s eyes were opened, her head tilted slightly to one side as she regarded me quizzically. Surtr had a disgusted look on her face, which she schooled to neutrality. 

“Look, Exusiai, I like you. For a Sankta, you’re ok. But where the fuck do you get off on this ‘other Sarkaz’ thing? Bitch, I barely tolerate Sankta. You? You’re mostly fine, but fuck off with that noise.”

“Surtr, she is not our enemy,” Mudrock said, slowly getting to her feet. “The Earth feels joy at her tread.”

“Piss off, Gargoyle. The holier-than-thou angel wants to be one of us, she can learn what it means to suffer,” Surtr growled, then stomped off and crawled into the tent. 

Slowly, I got up, then went over to where Mudrock was, and sat down on the ground. Mudrock sat with me, regarding me with interest. I continued to clean Viktor, stripping him again and reassembling him by reflex. I didn’t know what to do, what to say. 

After a moment, Mudrock sat back down. “You are troubled.”

“Oh, you know, never fought an ancient evil fish monster before. Maybe I get jangly nerves at the thought,” I said with a forced laugh. 

“Mmm,” Mudrock said. She closed her eyes, and pressed her hands back to the stone. “Breathe. Touch the stone. Feel the bones of the Earth.”

Slowly, I set Viktor aside and copied Mudrock. I just felt dirt, and rock. I mean, I know Gargoyles commune with the rocks and stone, and I had seen Mudrock shape stone into living constructs as easily as she breathed, but…I couldn’t do that. I guess it’s like when I touch a gun? To me, they’re alive. I can hear them, feel them, speak to them, as they speak to me. So, I understood this. Sort of. 

“Tell me, Child of Traitors, why do you call yourself Sarkaz?” Mudrock said.

My throat went dry, and my eyes snapped open. But Mudrock’s eyes were shut, her breathing even and regular. 

“I, I just…I think…Sankta and Sarkaz…we, we’re like…siblings. Like the sisters, Abell and Canna, from the Book of the Law.”

“I have read your Law. Did not Canna kill Abell, and was cursed and fallen for it?”

Shit. I’d fucked up. I never paid enough attention in Sunday School…

“Well, um, yes…but, they were still sisters! And, and Canna was still Sankta! It’s just…Canna…”

“Returned to her blood.” Yeah. Canna is called the First Fallen in the Church’s lore. She murdered her sister with her Patron Firearm and was cursed, losing her halo and wings, as well as her Patron. 

I leaned back, my heart racing. I took a steadying breath, then forced myself to lean in, touching the same stone Mudrock did. “Do you…do you know…”

“Gargoyles are connected to the stone of the Earth. The Earth does not forget. Terra does not forget. We sense the blood of our kin in you, Sankta. We would call you Canna, for you have been cursed, and turned your back upon your blood.”

Tears welled up in my eyes, and I felt sick. “We’re not…we’re not cursed! The Law is a blessing it, it just-”

“It gave you this,” Mudrock said, and touched Viktor. Part of me, a very vicious, vile part of me, wanted to tell her to keep her filthy devil hands off of my precious Patron. Instead…instead I handed it to her. She took it gravely, with reverence. She was delicate with Viktor, treating him like I would: like a beloved child, one that you wished to preserve with all your heart. “This was not the first curse, but it was how you used the blood of my people, of our people, to water the fields. The stones remember, and they cry out, Exusiai. Can you not hear them?”

I imagined I could, and I didn’t have to imagine Viktor killing Sarkaz. I’d fought Reunion. I’d mowed down whole squads of Sarkaz with him in particular. I felt like throwing up as I took Viktor back and cradled him to my chest. “I…I can. I’m sorry! I…I didn’t know…”

“Tell me, who lifted the scales from your eyes?” Mudrock asked me gently. 

I squeezed my eyes shut. I shouldn’t tell her, but… “James…Dr. James McCoy. Bones.”

“Ah. The one they call The Savior.” 

I winced, but I’d heard that name before. “He…he’s just a man, Mudrock.”

“I am Behemot. Of the Gargoyles.”

“And…and I am Lemuel Exusiai, of…of the Sankta.”

“Well met, Sister,” Mudrock said gravely. She held out a hand to me, stained with the earth.

I looked at it. Then I set Viktor aside and hugged her. “Sisters don’t shake hands,” I told her. 

She smiled, and hugged me back. Gently, thankfully. I could sense the power in her arms, and I knew she could crush me like a dirt clod. 

“So. We have reconciled, but it will not be so easy for others,” Mudrock told me as we continued to sit under the endless sea of stars. I looked up, knowing they were fake, but I didn’t care. They were still beautiful. 

“We have to reconcile, though. I mean, Sankta, and Sarkaz. We can’t…we can’t let hate continue to consume our people. It’s just…wrong.”

“Mmm,” Mudrock considered that, then nodded. “Yours is a noble cause, Sister Lemuen. Should you ever need Sanctuary, the Gargoyles will welcome you. Here.”

She reached down, and picked up a stone. Using her fingers and arts, she carved it into a disk, upon which were written ancient Sarkaz words that I couldn’t read, but I did recognize the image of what I would have called a demon on the reverse: a gargoyle. “This marks you as a friend of the Gargoyles. Not all Sarkaz will recognize it, but the wise will.”

“You give it to me so freely. But, but I still haven’t even done anything,” I whispered.

Mudrock slowly stood, extending a hand down to me. “You have let go of your hate. That is enough.”

I took her hand, and she pulled me into another embrace. I cried, a lot. When I was done, Behemot gave me a hankie and I blew my nose and dabbed at my eyes.

“Thanks. It’s good to know that…that at least the two of us are willing to make peace.”

“Let us pray to the Earth and your Law that we will not be the only two. I can pledge my people to such an endeavor, but only the Gargoyles. The others must make up their own minds.”

“You…you’re that important to the Gargoyles?” I asked curiously. 

Mudrock nodded somberly. “My mother, and my mother’s mother, and her mother’s mother, and their mother’s mother before them, were the Speaker of the Earth and the Shaper of Stones. So am I. My people are scattered. Divided. But the time of reforging is soon at hand. Come. Let us rest. In the morning, we go to slay a god.”

I nodded and followed her into the tent. Surtr was already snoring, rather loudly, actually, but that didn’t bother me. I lay down and for the first time in a long time, I felt at peace. There was still that gnawing part of my soul that craved Empathy, that longed to be with my people. To know what it was to be loved again. 

But I told myself I was. And for tonight, at least, I can rest easy. 

The Second Archon War: Sapientia Oramasdis 24

Sapientia Oramasdis 24: Life, Death, and Rebirth

At the very center of the Earth’s core, the Behemoth bathed in power. Pyro and Geo both swirled in massive quantities, the strange energies condensing and forming from what seemed like nothing. Here, the Behemoth rested, watching, waiting. Soon, the Time of Testing would come. This would be his time. To prove he alone of the endbringers was Mighty. To prove that he alone was Worthy. 

As he absorbed the energy, the Warrior’s Avatar appeared, glowing golden with power and dressed in armor. 

DRIVER. I HAVE COMMANDS. 

SPEAK, AVATAR. I WILL CONSIDER YOUR REQUESTS, the Behemoth sneered. He had been remade, reborn. Soon, he would be strong enough to seize control of the Shard Network from this fool and reign supreme over all the Earth. He alone would survive upon this world, all other life scoured in their feeble attempts to prove their worth. 

YOU WILL TEST THE BEINGS KNOWN AS DRAGONS. THE TWINS ARE CALLED TO TEST THE BEINGS DESIGNATED ARCHONS. FOR YOU, I COMMAND YOU TO TEST THE ONE KNOWN AS THERESA RICHTER. 

THE DENDRO DRAGON? SHE IS WEAK. FEEBLE. I WILL CRUSH HER EASILY, the Behemoth snorted. He had fought the Electro and Hydro Dragons before, and not come out of that struggle covered in glory. However, that was before he had Awakened. Before he had been granted Authority over Geo. 

SUCCEED IN TESTING AND GATHERING DATA, AND I SHALL GRANT TO YOU THE GEO GNOSIS. THIS IS A CONTRACT BETWEEN US. 

The amber chess piece appeared in the Avatar’s hand, and the Behemoth looked upon it greedily. With that, he would have an unlimited source of Geo Energy. He greatly desired the Gnosis. With that, he would be Mighty. He could usurp the Avatar, and then scour all who were Unworthy from the planet. Including his cursed siblings and his blighted progenitor. How galling that such a weak and pathetic specimen was responsible for his birth! It would be especially satisfying to destroy him. Not in the first battle, of course. The scouring should take centuries, so that Worthy opponents could be found. 

But first, the Gnosis. 

THIS CONTRACT IS ACCEPTED. I WILL SLAY THE DENDRO DRAGON, the Behemoth bellowed, and the very Earth itself shook. 

YOU WILL TEST THE DENDRO DRAGON. GATHER DATA. UPHOLD THE CYCLE. 

With that decree, the Avatar extended the Gnosis, and once more, Geo energy bathed the Behemoth. It reached out to grasp that power, but the Avatar withheld the treasure. Still, with this infusion of power, the Behemoth felt it was more than ready. If he had possessed this strength when he faced the Electro and Hydro Dragons, the Behemoth would have left his opponents dead and broken upon the field. 

Even as it considered this, the Avatar departed, vanishing through a fold in space. Interesting. It did so through the manipulation of Electro energy. The network was learning. 

And one day, that network would belong to the Behemoth. He would transcend Shard life, and become something more. A devouring deity that traveled the cosmos, finding Worthy opponents and sating his hunger upon whatever worlds he found. 

But first…it was time to slay a dragon. 

Though it was summer in the Northern Hemisphere, global temperatures were still significantly lower than they should have been, as much as a full degree centigrade. This should have played merry havoc with global weather patterns, and still was, but the Anemo Archon and Hydro Dragon were working overtime to counteract the ill effects of the Tsaritsa’s rampage. 

Even Tessa, though she lacked the broadscale weather manipulation abilities, still had a great deal of work to do. Currently, she was in Indonesia. When she’d arrived, the country had been ruled by a cabal of zombie cyborgs created by a mad Tinker and Master. However, since Indonesia had the largest Muslim population in the world, Tessa had taken it upon herself to not only free her brothers and sisters but to ensure that the country didn’t starve to death. To her delight, she even had a companion to help her. 

“I’m not supposed to be fixing tractors,” Colin grumbled, even as he worked underneath a tractor. 

Tessa grinned at him, though she was mostly smiling at his legs. She was currently resting and enjoying some coconut water. It made her think of Qiqi, and Tessa wondered how she was doing. The very best developmental psychologists and teachers were working with her, but…not even Nahida or Tessa herself could heal what ailed Qiqi, even with her Demon thoroughly tamed. 

“Bring that wrench closer you stupid thing!” Colin snapped, slapping at the leg of his “assistant.” Bob the Zombie Cyborg, as Colin had dubbed him, grunted and moved the toolbox slightly closer, until Colin could get the wrench. He no longer had the bits of metal screwed into his brain, but had plants sprouting from his eyeballs. In Bob's case, two small corpse lily’s appropriately enough. All the zombies had been similarly changed once Tessa had killed the Tinker responsible and overwhelmed the Demon that had been animating them. They were still dead unfortunately, but now they weren’t aggressive and could follow basic commands from people. 

After a few more minutes, Colin scrambled out and waved to Pak Sukarto, the middle aged farmer whose tractor he’d been working on. “Try it now!” he shouted. He didn’t need to shout, Pak wasn’t hard of hearing, but he didn’t speak a lick of English. Or Arabic, which Colin had been trying very hard to learn. 

After a few more motions, Pak smiled, showing his crooked teeth, and hit the ignition on his ancient tractor. It sputtered to life, and he grinned and drove it around a bit, before hopping out and bowing to Colin, who slapped him on the back and shook his hand. 

“Your servant, he is very clever, Lady of Flowers,” Pak said in Indonesian. Tessa understood him perfectly of course. Not only had she gained the same speak in tongues ability the Archons seemed to have after being in possession of the Dendro Gnosis for so long, but she also had access to all of mankind's cumulative knowledge, and had taught herself every language as a matter of course. 

“He’s not my servant, he’s my intended,” Tessa said with a laugh, and Pak’s two teenaged daughters giggled and laughed. 

“Oh?” Pak turned to Colin, who was wiping his grease-stained hands off and trying to get Bob the Zombie, Pak said his nam was Wahyudi, which Colin had given up on pronouncing, to go put the tools away. “Does he know that?” 

“He’d better. If he doesn’t realize toppling a government and stopping a zombie apocalypse counts as a date, what kind of man is he?” Tessa asked philosophically. 

She hadn’t really intended to topple the government, but it had turned out that most of the government officials had secretly been cyborg zombies too. So when Tessa had turned them all into Dendro Zombies…oops? Oh well, Iraq had sent several emissaries to help with reorganizing the government into a proper democracy. There had been some discussion about whether Indonesia was more properly in Japan’s sphere of influence, and the Shogunate had sent some relief aid when Tessa had texted Kenta in their group chat. 

It was a little absurd that she had Kenta in their group chat, along with Ziz, Chiyo, and Farasha. But, well, the dragons had to communicate somehow, right? None of them were really sure about what it even meant to be a dragon yet, so they had to do something. 

“Thanks for the drinks, I’m feeling much better now,” Tessa said, standing back up. Colin had come over, and Tessa stepped up to him. He was shirtless, which showed off his muscles nicely, and covered in grease and dirt. They were currently in a small farming village on the island of Java, which produced Soybeans and…not much else. The rickety old tractor that Colin had just completely rebuilt was one of the only ones in the village, and having it fixed would make sure that Tessa blessing the fields with Dendro wouldn’t go to waste. 

“You ready to get going?” Tessa asked, running her hand over Colin’s back, which made him sigh in relief. 

“Yeah, how many more of these podunk towns are left?” Colin asked, accepting his own glass of coconut water and downing it. 

“There are hundreds, but most of them I’ll just fly over, we-”

Tessa’s head snapped around, as she sensed a great and terrible power emerging to the East. 

“No,” Tessa gasped, her heart suddenly racing. “No, it can’t be! He already destroyed Jakarta! Why would he come back here?!” 

“Tessa? Tessa, what’s wrong?” Colin said, spinning about and grabbing her hand when he saw the look of horror on her face. 

“It’s, it’s the Behemoth, he just- I’m sorry, I have to go!” Tessa gasped, and immediately hopped up into the air, even as she shifted from her human form and into the giant biomechanical dragon she truly was. 

I’M SORRY, COLIN, I HAVE TO-

“Oh no you don’t!” he said, extending his hand to the side. His halberd leapt from where it had been leaning against the wall and slammed into his hand. As soon as it did, liquid metal flowed from it, covering Colin’s body. “I’ve fought Endbringers before! You’re not leaving me behind!” 

Tessa hesitated. She was pretty sure she loved Colin. She had a lot of self-doubt in that regard, with the whole being an artificial intelligence thing. Colin, the man she was pretty sure she was in love with, was a squishy human, who had no back ups. Tessa had backups. Tessa had backups of her backups. Not to mention she was a giant, nearly indestructible mecha-dragon. 

Colin…wasn’t. It had been fun fighting zombies with him, and he’d never been in much danger. Not only was his girlfriend, well, her, but he was a very competent fighter and Tinker in his own right. The Behemoth was another matter entirely. He’d fought Kenta and Chiyo at the same time in Australia. Granted, they’d gotten much, much stronger as they gained Authority over their Aspects, but the Behemoth had similarly grown in strength. Maybe even more so. Colin walking into that…

She ran a few simulations. She could…probably protect Colin. But, more importantly…how could Colin feel if Tessa flew off into battle without him? Mortals did need to determine their own destinies. Even if Colin was working on some very promising transhuman technology, he was still mortal. And, well…if Tessa loved him…he needed to be able to fight alongside her. It would never be an equal partnership if she was the one who made all the decisions and held all the power. 

RIGHT, SORRY, I’M JUST, I’M SORT OF PANICKING, YOU KNOW? THIS IS SORT OF MY FIRST REAL ENDBRINGER BATTLE, Tessa said, as she lowered a tendril to pluck Colin up, then hold him tightly to her thorax. Er, chest. She did look a bit insectile at the moment. 

“Didn’t you fight the Simurgh twice?” Colin sent over the radio as Tessa blasted off in a sonic boom towards Denpasar, the city on Bali where even now, Endbringer alarms were ringing. 

Oh, right. Tessa sort of forgot sometimes that Ziz was originally an Endbringer. And that most people thought she still was. 

THAT WASN’T REALLY FIGHTING. AND NAHIDA DID MOST OF IT ANYWAY, Tessa said. She’d probably have to tell Colin about Ziz soon. Before they got married. They were doing that, right? They’d only been dating officially a few months, but…mortals lived such a short time. Tessa wanted all the time she’d get, even if Colin did become a super cool cyborg. 

Not the zombie kind, hopefully.

They arrived in minutes as Tessa accelerated to super sonic speeds. Fortunately, the Behemoth had not emerged directly within Denpasar. Unfortunately, he was annihilating a lot of the very hard work Tessa had done to the rice paddies that surrounded the city. She’d been trying to prevent a famine brought on by the poor crops from lowered temperatures, but the Behemoth was blighting and destroying acres of fertile cropland with each of its steps.

Seeing all of her hard work done and the starvation of the people she’d come to save unfolding before her, Tessa felt a rage she hadn’t felt since she thought Nahida was in mortal peril in Baghdad. She let out a warbling warcry that caused thorns to spring up from the ground all along the Behemoth’s path, but she didn’t back down. 

In response, the Endbringer looked up at her. His eyes glowed a deep amber, and his tail swung back and forth in anticipation. He let out a thrumming bellow of his own that caused the ground to tremble and great spikes of rock to shoot up around him. 

Tessa moved Colin up to her back. She wasn’t going to just tackle the Behemoth, as tempting as it was. No, she was going to do this the smart way, and pelt her foe from range. He was in the middle of cropland she’d blessed, after all. Time to show him the power of Life. 

Drawing upon the power she’d already invested in this land, Tessa caused those already sprouting thorns to lash the Behemoth, striking at the Endbringer not just with physical force, but with the Dendro imbued into the vines. The Behemoth roared in rage as the vines tried to wrap about him and drag him down, but he wrenched free of them. 

Not to worry, Tessa had back ups. There was still a great deal of water around the Behemoth, though much of it had been vaporized by the intense heat the monster radiated. Still, it was enough for bloom cores to form, and Tessa detonated those now. A massive explosion of Dendro energy caused green mist to envelop the Behemoth, and Tessa roared in triumph. 

“He’s not down! Careful!” Colin called, and Tessa immediately banked hard to the right, as two spears of Geo energy shot through the air where she’d been. The explosion cleared, and to her frustration, Tessa saw the Behemoth had erected that Geo shield he’d demonstrated when he’d attacked Austin last year. 

She launched more Dendro projectiles and summoned more vines, but to no effect. To her irritation, it even seemed like the attacks that had landed before the barrier had gone up had done little more than chip off a bit of the Behemoth’s hide. Well, Endbringers were tough, and the Behemoth tougher than most thanks to its upgrades. 

Worse, it was making steady progress towards Denpasar. The Behemoth might have emerged in the fields to the north of the city, but smaller towns and villages sprawled all around, and within minutes, it would start to reach human habitation. Even now the residents were evacuating, but they needed more time, or soon thousands would be dying. 

COLIN, I’M GOING TO HAVE TO CONFRONT HIM DIRECTLY, Tessa said, feeling distinctly uneasy even as she shot out more blasts of Dendro that just washed over the Behemoth’s shield. 

“Alright. I don’t know how much I can do, but I’ve got a few energy weapons built into my halberd, and I suppose I can hack at him if you’re going to try tackling him,” Colin said, hefting his polearm. 

Tessa felt a swell of affection and pride in Colin. He wasn’t about to abandon her. She had to trust he would be able to survive this. Maybe he would even contribute. 

ALRIGHT, HOLD ON! 

Firing off more blasts, Tessa charged in, picking up as much speed as she could. To her horror, instead of recoiling, the Behemoth reared up onto his hind legs, his forelimbs opening wide in a clawed embrace. 

The two titans slammed together in an explosion of elemental energy that sent out a shockwave that mutated plantlife before pulverising it for a kilometer in all directions. Tessa wrapped her serpentine body about the Behemoth, injecting every sort of venom and toxin she could while forming biomechanical blades and claws to rip at her foe. Even as she did so, however, the Behemoth’s jaws closed on her neck, and she warbled in pain as it ripped and tore at her. 

Still, there was life energy all about her, and Tessa drew it into herself, healing her wound and throwing her foe off. To her delight, Colin managed to get in a few good hits with his blade, though he couldn’t cut deep enough to do serious damage. 

Taking to the air again, Tessa circled away, trying to draw the Behemoth away from Denpasar. To her frustration, her foe simply turned his back on her and rumbled towards the city. All the attacks she launched did little against the massive Geo barrier. Snarling in irritation, she rose up, then dove again. Her sheer weight and power shattered the barrier and let her claw at her foes back, and for a moment, she thought she had him.

Then the massive tail lashed up, slamming into Tessa and throwing her to the ground. She writhed and tried to rise, but the Behemoth pinned her and began to tear at her. Once more she tried to throw him off by absorbing the Dendro about her, but that was a trick she couldn’t pull off twice in quick succession. Instead, she drew on her Gnosis, but even the massive power it provided wasn’t enough to get the Behemoth off of her again. 

Green blood splattered, and Tessa screamed in pain. Colin tried to hack and slash at the Behemoth, but he simply laughed. 

LITTLE SPECIMEN. YOU ARE BUT AN INSECT! YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF CHALLENGING ONE SUCH AS I! 

“Yeah? Well, I know one insect you should be afraid of!” Colin shouted back, even as the Behemoth swiped at him. Tessa managed to block it, and Colin attacked again, but even the two of them could do little 

YOU? YOU ARE BUT AN ANT!

“Oh, not me. Just a little butterfly,” Colin sneered. 

The Behemoth opened its mouth, then paused. A burning, scarlet insect fluttered down, then landed on Tessa’s bleeding chest. 

I’m coming. 

Slowly, the Behemoth turned his head. Behind him, to the north west, the entire horizon was now on fire. 

WHAT IS THIS? SHE WAS NOT TO BE HERE THIS DAY. 

Tessa’s heart leaped in her chest, and she bit at her foe, forming her mouth into rotating toothed drill bits that cut at the Behemoth’s underbelly. It proved to be a little less well-armed than his back, but not much. Still, they struggled for several minutes more, until the temperature began to rise, higher and higher. 

More and more butterflies appeared, and the Behemoth hissed in pain as they began to burn at him. He turned about, backing away from Tessa, as a flock of millions and millions of burning butterflies descended. They began to form a face, the familiar visage of a woman that Tessa knew and loved like her own sister. 

HEY HEY! GUESS WHO’S HERE! Farasha’s voice echoed, and the fiery grin that formed would have been terrifying if it hadn’t been so welcomed. 

YOU. I AM TO TEST THE DENDRO DRAGON. NOT YOU. 

HEH. YOU KNOW, IT’S FUNNY. I NEVER ACTUALLY FOUGHT ONE OF YOU SONS OF BITCHES. I’VE ALWAYS WONDERED HOW I’D DO AGAINST AN ENDBRINGER. WHY DON’T WE FIND OUT?

I AM NO MERE ENDBRINGER! I AM THE ALPHA BEHEMOTH! I HAVE ASCENDED BEYOND WHAT I WAS! 

YOU KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT, YOU OVERGROWN LIZARD. NOW ARE WE DOING THIS OR WHAT? 

The butterflies coalesced, dozens of them taking the form of a young woman, dressed in black. Farasha lifted a hand, and beckoned the Behmoth on. “Bring it, you son of a bitch.”

Roaring, the Behemoth charged forward, sending out lances of Geo and even molten jets of magma from vents in the ground. To Tessa’s horror, one lance speared Farasha through the chest. It was bigger than she was, and turned her into red mist. 

Or, rather, a flock of burning butterflies. The swarm descended on the Behemoth, who roared in rage and pain. He was already infused with Tessa’s Dendro, which reacted with the Pyro energy that Farasha had begun to wield only a few months before. The reaction ruptured the Behemoth’s skin, and black blood poured out like oil. That was new. Endbringers shouldn’t bleed, should they? 

Tessa struggled up, then flitted over to a rice paddie that wasn’t completely devastated, and drew in the Dendro, healing herself as she watched the battle. Not content just to use little insects, Farasha formed into a massive creature with the flaming wings of a butterfly, but a draconic head and neck, though it had smoldering antennae, compound eyes, and six spindly legs. 

Again, two giant Kaiju clashed, and the Behemoth, even burning as it was, came out the stronger of the pair. It battered and bashed at the Pyro dragon, pounding her into the ground and stomping on her wings. 

Farasha, however, didn’t care. In a flash, she turned back into her human form, pulling out the Staff of Homa, a spear she’d claimed as a prize from an Indian cape years ago. She stabbed up into the belly of the Behemoth, right where Tessa had been drilling at him moments ago. Massive gouts of flame widened the wound, and the Behemoth keened in pain, before stomping Farasha’s human form into red mist. 

But there were still tens of thousands of butterflies. Not to mention fertile rice paddies, which the butterflies had descended on, and were setting aflame. From the conflagration, more butterflies arose, and spiraled in towards the Behemoth. Once more, the great butterfly formed, this time next to Tessa. 

WELL, SISTER? YOU GOING TO JUST SIT THERE, OR ARE YOU GETTING IN ON THIS PARTY? 

OH, SORRY. YOU LOOKED LIKE YOU WERE HAVING FUN, AND I ALREADY HAD A TURN, DONTCHA KNOW. BUT IFFIN YER WILLING TO SHARE…

HEH, YOU’RE CUTE WHEN YOUR ACCENT COMES BACK. COME ON. LET’S ROAST THIS POSER AND GET HOME BEFORE WE MAKE NAHIDA WORRY. 

“You got this,” Colin said, crouching low on Tessa’s back. “I’m right here with you.”

Together, the two dragons surged forward. The Behemoth met them again, and Tessa cried out in pain as he bowled her over and stomped on her back. She didn’t just lay there though, forming needles and spears and driving them into the Endbringer’s armor. At the same time, Farasha breathed out flames that consumed the back of the Behmoth. It trashed at her with its tail, and even sent Farasha crashing to the ground. 

Doing that, however, let Tessa get enough of an opening to rise up and slam into the Behemoth, knocking it back and staggering the Endbringer. Farasha came roaring back in, and together, they pummeled the Behemoth relentlessly, sustaining the Burning reaction and drawing more and more of the oily dark blood. 

After several minutes, the Behemoth suddenly dove downwards. It tunneled into the Earth, sealing its escape up behind it with walls of Geo. Farasha blasted it with Pyro and broke down some of the barriers, but the Behemoth was soon completely gone. 

With a groan, Tessa shifted back into her human form and collapsed to the ground, bleeding and bruised all over. Colin quickly cradled her body and formed his Halberd into a medical device of some kind, but she shook her head. 

“I just…I just need…rest…and Dendro,” she weezed.

A moment later, Farasha appeared beside her in a swirl of butterflies. She had a black eye and one of her arms was hanging limp, but she was grinning triumphantly. 

“FUCK YEAH! I always knew I could send one of those assholes packing! Score one for team dragon!” 

“How did you get here so fast?” Tessa asked, frowning up at Farasha.

“Huh? Oh, that. I got this weird message from one of Nahida’s former students. Fortune or something. Anyway, she said she had a dream or something that if I didn’t come see you in Indonesia, there would be a great calamity. I thought it was a bunch of hooey until Nahida told me to take it seriously. So, I started flying yesterday. Took it slow until I sensed that asshole trying to use my own Pyro. Then I put a move on and got here as fast as I could. And kicked his sorry ass! Hi five!” 

Tessa weakly hi-fived Farasha’s good arm, then groaned. “Help me up, Colin.”

He quickly lifted her to her feet, and she looked around in horror at the devastation. Several villages were nothing but smoking rubble, and the rice fields for miles around had been destroyed. She could also sense that hundreds of people had died in the battle, brief as it had been. 

“This…this doesn’t feel like winning,” she whispered, and Colin hugged her as she let her tears fall. 

“Huh? Oh, right. Guess I should bring them back now,” Farasha said. 

Tessa blinked at her in confusion, and Farasha winked. “You know what butterflies are associated with?” 

“Um, hope and change?” Tessa said, even her mind was a bit sluggish with all the energy she’d expended. 

“Rebirth,” Farasha said, and extended her hand. A swarm of butterflies fluttered down, spreading out as they lit on the ashes around her. Farasha closed her eyes, and extended her good arm. “Now…be reborn, in my flames!” 

Whirlwinds of fire formed around the butterflies, and more descended, adding to the pyre. At first, Tessa was lost in how beautiful it was, then she sensed something: Those butterflies contained souls. Not Farasha’s soul, but instead, they were holding the souls of humans. Hundreds of them. 

From the flames, startled people stepped. They were naked as the day they were born, and they smelled of smoke and ash. Their skin was slightly raw, as if they’d suffered bad sunburns, though it was hard to tell as most of them had darker skin. 

The flame died down, leaving a crowd of people standing there, stunned. 

“Ha! Neat trick, huh?” Farasha said, planting her hand on her hip and grinning widely, even as her other arm flopped uselessly. “I’ve been helping the Aranara with their whole guiding souls to the afterlife bit, and I discovered something: I can trap souls, and even rebuild bodies! Takes a lot of energy, but it’s worth it!”

She stepped into the crowd, and waved, grinning cheekily. “Hey, everyone! I have bad news: You all died.”

There were a few sobs and startled gasps, but most of the people just gaped at Farasha. 

“But, I also have good news! As I am the butterfly of rebirth, you all get to come back to life! This is a one time deal though, so do me a favor and don’t waste your second chance. I’d hate to have gone through all that effort for a bunch of losers.”

“You…you resurrected us?” a young man said, looking down at his hands in shock. 

“Yep! Well, sort of. I mostly just grabbed all your souls before you passed on, then reconstituted your bodies. If there’s anything wrong with your new bodies, please send all complaints to my address, which is 575 Kiss My Ass, Baghdad. Now, my arm hurts like a bitch, so I’m going to go find a nice big fire and throw myself into it so I can heal.”

“You…you are gods,” an older woman gasped, falling to her knees. 

Farasha rolled her eyes. “Oh get up. No, we’re not gods. That’s my daughter. We’re just dragons.”

“There is no God but Allah,” Tessa recited. Then blushed. “But…Farasha and I might…sort of be His servants. Maybe. It’s complicated.”

To Tessa’s great distress, and Farasha’s annoyance, nearly all of the people got down on their hands and knees and worshiped them. When the authorities arrived, they were all too happy to build Farasha the biggest bonfire they could so she could immolate herself, while Tessa was taken to a botanical garden and allowed to sleep for a day and a night to recover while Colin watched over her. 

Later, a temple to Farasha and Theresa was erected, and a major religious shift took place in Indonesia. While nominally, Islam remained the state religion and most practiced, in reality, Dragon worship was what was perpetuated, with the Pyro and Dendro dragons as the most revered. It was the first such shrine on Earth Bet wholly devoted to what would become the draconic religion. But it would not be the last. 

May I Enjoy My Life, Entry 25

Entry 29, Day 61

I woke up first, which is a bit unusual. Usually, Sussurro is the first up in the mornings. I lay there for a bit, watching her sleep by the light of the alarm clock. She looked peaceful, rested, and absolutely beautiful. I was tempted to caress her, just to make sure she was still there, but I just watched her breathe. 

The last couple of days had been hard, obviously. My ass was still sore, for one thing, but more the anguish of thinking I’d lost her, then making up in rather glorious fashion yesterday.

Then, getting in another fight. 

I’m not taking birth control. 

I mulled that over in my mind. To be perfectly honest, I’d never really thought about having kids. I mean, I generally like kids alright, but I wouldn’t choose to go into pediatrics. As for kids of my own, I guess I figured they’d happen eventually? And yeah, now that I stopped and thought about it, those kids would be with Sussurro in my ideal world. 

And yet…even as I lay there, I hurt all over. I was half blind, half crippled, and probably completely disabled from a medical standpoint if I thought about it. That all probably wasn’t changing either. If anything, it was going to get worse, even if I was much more careful from now on. Which I did intend to be. I might be an idiotic, self-sacrificing martyr, but even I was figuring out that if I kept this up I was going to be dead, and not only would I not help anyone that way, but what about Sussurro? That would break her heart, and I couldn’t stand the thought of that. 

It did hurt that Sussurro had lied to me, but I was still so relieved I couldn’t really be that upset at her. I mean, I still was mad, but I took a leaf out of my parents' book when it came to that. I’d never seen them fly off the handle at one another. They fought at times, but my dad had told me a long time ago that when he got mad at mom, he stepped away, did some chores, and then came back, and they talked it out, because they loved one another. When I was older, he also told me with a twinkle in his eye that the best sex was after an argument, but my dad is that kind of rascal. 

What hurt more, actually, was when Sussurro had stood up and yelled at me. I could see how much it hurt her, and it was honestly hard to have her scream at me. Not that I couldn’t handle getting yelled at, only to see that much anger from someone I loved directed at me. And then she’d sent me  her nudes and practically jumped me. Not that I didn’t appreciate all that, it was great, but going from tsuntsun to deredere that fast was really confusing. 

Eventually, Sussurro did wake up. She smiled at me and gave a groggy, “Good morning,” before getting up to use the bathroom. I checked my phone, then sat up when I saw a message from Gavial. I read it, then called, “Lucia, Gavial’s going on an away mission, starting tomorrow.”

“Oh? Did she say where?” Lucia called back. 

“No, but I bet she’s going to save the underground Durin City from the files Doktah read,” I told Sussurro as I heard the toilet flush. 

“Ah, more weird alien knowledge. At least it’s being put to good use,” she said, turning the shower on. “Are we allowed to report in today?”

“Well, Warfarin also messaged me demanding that I come in for her to check my levels again.” I stepped into the bathroom to do my own business while Sussurro showered. While shower sexytimes are fun, they are also trash at performing the intended function of cleaning yourself off, so I figured we’d hold off on that. 

“Not a bad idea,” Sussurro agreed. “I also want your balance checked. You’ve been stumbling a lot.”

“It’s my vision,” I said, but sighed and nodded my head. “Not a bad idea, though. Probably some oripathy induced arthritis too.”

We chatted while I took my own turn in the shower, then headed over to the hospital. Texas was waiting for us along with Beagle, who smiled and nodded. 

“Uh, before we go, maybe I should say something to Lemuel,” I said, rubbing myself where she’d shot me two days ago. 

“She is on another assignment,” Texas said, and for once, her stoic expression broke, her ears wilting and her tail drooping. She even looked teary-eyed. 

“What? Why, what happened?” I demanded, suddenly worried. 

“James, she shot you,” Lucia said gently, taking my arm. 

“Yeah, but she’s shot me in the ass before. Well, granted, she didn’t use real bullets, but I didn’t blame her!” I protested. 

Beagle looked a little incredulous, but Texas shook her head. “She has been reassigned. She will be accompanying Dr. Gavial to Sargon for a mission.”

“Oh,” I considered that. I would miss Exusiai, but her going to Ideal City and having fun racing go-carts was probably a good idea. “Well, that’s important, without her, a lot of Durans could die. I guess Doktah is acting on that intel faster than we thought.”

“Yes,” Texas said. “We will have a chance to bid them farewell tonight. I have arranged to secure Frankies for a private party.”

That lifted my spirits somewhat, and we headed off to the hospital. I expected to be put to work, but no sooner did we walk through the elevator than a manic vampire popped out of nowhere leering at us. 

“So, got yourself caught in a lovers tryst, did you, Dr. McCoy?” Warfarin said, and I swear to God, the lights in the hallway dimmed, and bloody winged bats started flitting around. Texas instantly went on alert, as Warfarin swayed forward, her fangs bared. “Now, I tolerate a lot of things, but interns breaking the heart of my favorite doctor and pet Sankta are where I draw the line.”

Wait, she was pissed at me?! “Hold on! I-”

“Warfarin, he’s innocent,” Lucia said, stepping in front of me. “It’s a weird alien knowledge thing. Do you have the clearance for that?”

The lights flickered a little brighter, and Warfarin paused, the bats flitting about her head. “Hold on, you’re not trying to murder him, Lucy?”

“Don’t call her Lucy, she hates that,” I said in exasperation.

Warfarin blinked at me, then at Sussurro, who was glaring at her. “Ok, I’m starting to think that maybe I misread the situation when I heard Lucy and Lemmy pissed at you and you’d been shot in the ass.”

“Didn’t I just tell you not to call her Lucy?” I growled in irritation. Sussurro had confided to me how much she hated the nickname, and it really ground my gears that Warfarin was so blatantly using it. 

“I heard you the first time, lover boy, but the problem is it’s too fun to annoy her,” Warfarin snorted. “I-”

I stepped forward and loomed over Warfarin. She looked up at me, raising an eyebrow. “Seriously? If you’re trying to intimidate me, good luck. I’ve had Goliath’s loom over me and they’re a lot scarier than you, dweeb.”

“Knock it off, or no more data,” I said, folding my arms over my chest.

Warfarin paused. “You can’t do that.”

“I can’t, but I bet Kal’tsit can. Sussurro is just as capable as you of running research into my abilities,” I said. 

“The hell she is! I’m the best damn medical researcher and chemist ALIVE! Your girlfriend is good, Bones, but I’m the one who trained her, and I assure you that the apprentice has NOT surpassed the master!” Warfarin snarled. Then she peeked around me. “So, like, he didn’t two time you with Exusiai?”

“No, Warfarin. He just said something stupid he should have kept to himself, but we’ve forgiven him,” Lucia said with a sigh. 

“Hmph.” Warfarin planted her feet again, and tapped her foot. Then she threw up her hands. “Ok! Fine! Ugh, come on Lucia.”

“Dr. Sussurro,” Lucia insisted. 

“Don’t push your luck, kid. My irreverent attitude is a part of my many charms. Now get your asses to the lab, I have tests to run.”

What followed was a lot of me peeing in cups, getting blood drawn, and going through complicated medical machines. Some of them didn’t even exist on Earth so I had fun conversations about how an Arts Analyzer worked or the benefits of an Originium Wave Scan had versus an X-Ray or Ultrasound. 

Well, fun for me, this stuff was really interesting, but also highly technical and I don’t feel like writing it all up. Suffice to say, I was in the running to be the most documented and examined human since Bryan Johnson. 

In between tests, they had me go heal a couple of hurry cases and collect more data on that. Warfarin observed me as I healed up someone they’d brought in who’d literally been chewed on by a mangler beast, which I learned was some sort of sabertoothed bear. Terra just loves to surprise you with new and interesting ways to kill you dead. 

“Dammit, I just can’t catch how you’re even doing that!” Warfarin complained as she furiously wrote on her clipboard. Actual paper. She’s a bit old fashioned in some ways, and that includes taking paper notes and keeping paper records. 

“I mean, I don’t even know how I’m doing it,” I admitted as I reknit muscle and bone, sort of making a sewing motion with my hands. 

“Well, walk me through it! I want to learn how to do this, dammit! I used to have some of the best healing arts around,” Warfarin explained. 

“Well, I sort of…I dunno, just envision how it should look, and then sort of…weave it back together? It’s like I have a blueprint in my head, and I just…make it so?” I commented. The patient was sedated, but Sussurro and Warfarin were with me, along with Myrtle, since someone needed to know how to hook the patient up to an IV. 

“That’s not how arts is supposed to work! You’re supposed to channel energy into amplifying a natural biological effect, not growing more tissue!” Warfarin said, furiously scribbling on her pad. 

“What matters is that it does work. Perhaps we can find a way to emulate this sort of arts, because it would be very useful to supplement traditional healing arts,” Sussurro said.

“Hrm,” Warfarin growled, then grabbed me. “Alright, drain him, Myrtle. I’m trying to figure out how much originium he uses for those healings.”

“You got it!” Myrtle agreed, and I groaned as she pulled another bit of blood. It made me feel a bit lightheaded, so they had me sit and drink some juice and eat some snacks, which isn’t all bad. 

“You know, your ability with this sort of arts is almost more valuable than your ability to cure oripathy,” Sussurro told me as we sat in the breakroom. 

“Don’t get his head too swelled, he’s already one miracle cure, he doesn’t need to be another,” Warfarin said, frowning at her notes. 

“I mean, she’s sort of right,” Myrtle pipped up. “Curing Oripathy is super impressive, but being able to cure wounds and make new organs is also really cool!” 

“It’s more useful on a battlefield,” Texas commented, and I glanced at her. 

“You really think I belong on a battlefield?” I asked her.

“No. But you keep ending up on them anyway,” she said with a shrug. 

“Point,” I muttered. “Hey, aren’t I supposed to do some training and stuff?”

“You’ve got PT scheduled for the afternoon,” Warfarin said looking up from her notes. “Water based. I got the results of your balance test, and the X-rays. Your inner ear on your right side is fucked up. Might need to start using a cane.”

“Super,” I sighed. 

After healing a couple of operators who came in with battle wounds, stable and safe after transport, I just saved them some recovery time, it was time for PT. First came my hand. We tried various exercises and the physical therapist walked me through things I could do to try to restore my range of motion, which hurt like hell, but I’d try anyway. Then I got to practice walking, and yeah, using a cane did make me steadier on my feet. I was becoming an old man in a hurry, and I wasn’t even thirty. 

Lunch was delivered to me, and was nicer than what the cafeteria served. It was creamy beef stroganoff, with some hot strawberry tarts and cold lemonade to drink. It also came with a note, which I unfolded and read. 

Dear Doctor Bones

Thank you for healing Ying! She is my good friend. We were all very sad when we heard she was going to Sleep. But now, she’s awake again! She is telling everyone that you saved her. Thank you so much! I know you can’t cure everyone, but you cured her. Even if it’s just one person, it means a lot. If you’re ever hungry, just let me know! I have lots of good recipes!

Your friend, 

Gummy 

I stared at the note for a few minutes. Then I carefully folded it, and tucked it away in my breast pocket. I sniffed, and at the stroganoff, which was amazing. 

“So, how are my levels?” I asked Sussurro. 

“You’re at .36 u/L, and 12% cell integration. Your levels are lowering, but it’s going to be a while longer before I want you to risk another cure,” Sussurro told me. She hesitated, then said, “Also…I spoke with the Director and Amiya while you were in therapy. They want you to cure a Sarkaz.”

I chewed on that for a moment, then nodded. “OK, that seems fine. Any particular reason?”

“Partly medical: You’ve only healed Ancients up until now, and we need to know how your arts work on a Sarkaz,” Sussurro explained. 

“That makes sense,” I agreed. “Any targets in mind?” 

“I’m going over candidates, someone who’s stage 2 at the most. We can’t risk you further degenerating right now. Though…I smell politics,” her tail swished back and forth, and she grimaced. “Sarkaz discrimination is very real. And some of our closest allies are Sarkaz, along with many who live on Rhodes Island. There’s some mutters that you’re only healing non-Sarkaz on purpose.”

“I mean, if anyone was going to not be racist against the Sarkaz, it would be me,” I pointed out. “I don’t exactly have any biases against them, and I’m inclined to view a lot of them favorably from my weird alien knowledge.”

“I know that, Amiya knows that, and Director Kal’tsit knows that. But, the Sarkaz don’t know that. So, we need you to cure a Sarkaz.” 

I mentally ran over a list of operators I knew with oripathy. “So, like, Logos, Mudrock, Surtr…oh, what about Lava? I mean, she’s one of my bodyguards, it would make sense to cure her.”

“They’re possible candidates, but I’m afraid that with politics driving this, I won’t have final say,” Sussurro said, and I could tell that bothered her. 

“Hey, no matter who I cure, it’s one more life saved, right? Besides, the Sarkaz could use a win. Maybe this would help give them hope,” I pointed out. 

“You’re right, I just don’t like you being turned into a political chip. This should not only be your choice, but be done to save someone’s life and advance our medical knowledge. Not curry political favor,” Sussurro said.

“Yeah, I get that, I guess. Tell them I’d rather save someone I know from Arknights, but I’m willing to do what it takes. Lava’s a special one, her and Hibiscus. I actually know them,” I said. 

“You would cure lava?” 

I turned to see Beagle looking at me intensely, and I nodded. “Of course. We’ve talked, she’s a bit standoffish, but she’s a good person.”

Beagle nodded slowly. “That would be good. She’s been my friend for years now. Her disease isn’t too bad, but it is getting worse…”

“I’d cure everyone if I could, even you,” I told Beagle, who blushed. 

“Don’t worry about me! Rhodes Island already saved my life. And it’s my job to help protect you,” Beagle said stoutly. 

After that, it was time for some laps in the pool. Well, I say labs, but it was really just paddling about and a lot of floating. I didn’t have much stamina, but the water did help with the pain, a lot. Sussurro put on a swimsuit and took a dip with me, a sexy pink bikini that was very nice. 

After all that, we headed back to our suite to get changed for the going-away party for Gavial’s team. Frankies was private that night, with the guest list consisting only of trusted operators. I dressed not in my suit, but in a less formal pair of slacks and a button-down shirt, while Sussurro wore a nice dress and her usual pair of clown shoes. 

“Do you have any shoes that aren’t platforms?” I teased her. 

She gave me a flat look. “I don’t know, do you have any shoes that won’t make you bonk that empty skull of yours on the ceiling?”

“That actually is a problem,” I mused, touching my forehead gingerly. Generally speaking, the cramped passages of Rhodes Island are designed for the average Terran height, which is a good inch or two shorter than average US height. I’m 6’ even, but here I do feel like a giant. I glanced down at Sussurro, who suddenly looked concerned, then, on a whim, picked her up gently to kiss her, which she struggled a bit against, at least until she clamped onto me. “I think you’re the perfect height, though.” 

“Mmm, I’m glad you think so, but I wouldn’t mind a few more centimeters in me,” she said, rubbing the stubble on my chin. I tend to go for the ruggedly handsome half shaved look, both out of laziness and because I think it looks good on me. I’d grow a beard but it makes it awkward to wear a surgical mask. 

“Well, you know what they call countries that use centimeters, right?” I teased. 

She looked at me blankly, then I said, “Didn’t go to the moon.”

I realized almost as soon as I’d said it that I’d messed up, except Lucia snorted with laughter. “Columbia didn’t make it all the way to the moon, despite the rumors! Only, wait. Are you telling me- you’ve been to the moon?!”

“Me personally? No. But Americans did, and we use inches.” I grimaced. “Honestly, I wish we didn’t, I have to use centimeters and milliliters for medicine and it’s a bitch to convert between the two. Oddly enough, they’re comparable to Victorian Imperial Units as far as I can tell.”

Sussurro hugged me for a long moment, something like a limpet. Then she kissed me on the cheek and said, “Your world really was wonderful, wasn’t it?”

“Not as wonderful as this one, it didn’t have you,” I told her. 

She smiled at first, then her expression darkened for a moment before she visibly flicked her head, and I flinched. We weren’t completely over my stupid homework folder. 

Outside, Texas was waiting with Fang, Kroos, Beagle, and Lava. They were all dressed casually, but they were also all carrying swords and crossbows.

“‘Ello ‘ello!” Kroos said cheerfully. “You lot ready for a lovely night out? We’re your escort!” 

“Frankies is private, I’ve vetted everyone there,” Texas said somberly. “But be careful.”

“Who all is gonna be there?” I asked curiously. 

Texas rattled off a bunch of names, but the ones that stood out were Gavial, Exusiai, and Eunectes, along with Amiya and Doktah. Apparently, Exusiai was going to Sargon with the expedition to save the Durin City, or at least evacuate it. I didn’t recall the details, but Doktah apparently had what was needed to get the ball rolling. 

We ended up going into Frankies by a service route to avoid the crowds, and there were already quite a few people there. I recognized Eunectes, who was wearing a black tanktop and short shorts, along with Tuye, who I recognized from both the game and having met her at the medical department where she worked as a nurse. 

“Bones! Good to see you!” Exusiai said, popping up. Kroos very deliberately put herself between Exusiai and me, which caused the Sankta to wilt slightly, her wings drooping and halo dimming. 

“Hey, it’s OK. I understand, it was just a moment of passion thing,” I said, trying to gently push Kroos aside. She was a lot more solid than she looked, and she glanced over her shoulder at me and frowned. 

“Didn’t catch why Exu thought she needed to shoot you in the arse, but it does make one suspicious.”

“I…took her phone and saw something I shouldn’t, on accident,” I said, making up a believable lie on the spot. 

All four of my bodyguards stared at me, then Lava laughed. “Shit, I would have zapped him in the ass too, Kroos.”

“Bones,” Kroos said, sounding exasperated. “You have to know not to just scroll through a lady’s phone. There’s quite private stuff on there, yeah?”

Fang actually facepalmed. “Ok, I get it, but Exusiai, you can’t just shoot people if they accidentally see your nudes.”

“Hey, it’s a Laterano thing!” Exusiai protested. “It’s normal to shoot people over that kind of thing!”

“No, it isn’t,” Adnachiel called from his place by the bar. “I promise, most of us aren’t as crazy as her!” 

“Ok, it’s a bit extreme, but you’ve heard of it happening, right?” Exusiai huffed, turning and facing the other Sankta. 

He shrugged. “Ok, yeah, but only if you’re from Via San Bartolo,” Adnachiel said in exasperation. 

Exusiai beamed. “Ah, good on San Bartolo, it’s never boring back home!” 

“That where they keep the rednecks and crazy swamp people?” I guessed. 

“It’s not a swamp!” Exusiai protested, but Lucia actually laughed. 

“I know what you mean by rednecks, and yes, San Bartolo is one of the older, poorer sections of Laterano, and it’s infamous for the wild stories. There’s a special section of the tabloids in Palermo they run on Saturdays called ‘Signor Bartolo’ with the wild crimes that have been committed there.”

“It’s just because we publicize all crimes in Laterano,” Exusiai huffed. Then grinned. “But the most interesting ones come from San Bartolo!”

You know, Exusiai being the Sankta version of Florida Woman made far, far too much sense. 

“Out of curiosity, do you use kilometers or miles in Laterano?” I asked, thinking of a certain Sankta meme. 

Exusiai gave me an odd look. “We’re civilized, James. We invented the kilometer, and don’t let them tell you it was the Gauls.”

“Don’t be silly, the kilometer was invented in Siracusia,” Lucia snorted as we came to the bar. 

“Hey, hey Bones!” Kroos said excitedly, leaning over and tapping me on the shoulder. “What do they call countries that use kilometers?”

“Never been to space!” I cried, and myself and the Columbians exchanged enthusiastic high-fives while the others jeered. 

“You just told that stupid joke!” Sussurro protested, but I manfully ignored her and downed a Columbian beer that tasted just like Bud-Light. 

“God Bless, Columbia, and God Bless Kirsten Wright!” Fang declared stoutly, then, despite the fact that we hadn’t even finished our first drink, she, Kroos, and Beagle burst into song with, 

Hail, Columbia, land of light,

Beacon strong on Terra’s night!

We who were born of dream and iron will,

Born of dream, and iron will!

Through the storm and through the flame,

We endure in freedom’s name;

Bound by honor, our hearts unite,

Columbia, rise in might!

Hail, Columbia, land of light!

I did my best to join in. It was to the tune of “Hail Columbia, ” which I didn’t know the lyrics to but I’d heard a few times. 

“James, you can’t be a proper Columbian and not know the national anthem!” Beagle said, scandalized after I’d absolutely butchered the chorus. 

That produced a somewhat uncomfortable silence, as several people there were well aware that I was not, in fact, Columbian. 

“It’s alright, love! We’ll teach him propper like!” Kroos said enthusiastically. “Now, from the top, ladies! Hail, Columbia, Land of Light!” 

That, of course, resulted in them making me sing Land of Light (the official name of the anthem) until I could get it right. This stirring show of patriotism for a country I had in fact never seen meant that several other people were overcome with a bout of nationalistic pride, and someone got out a karaoke machine. Lucia tried to get Texas to sing Gloria e Fedeltà, which was Siracusia’s own national anthem. 

“Actually, I’m Columbian,” Texas admitted. “I’m just ethnically Siracusian. I grew up singing Land of Light. But I’m not much of a singer.”

“Yes, but you speak Siracusian, don’t you? We’ll have the lyrics on screen, get up here!” Sussurro ordered. 

Reluctantly, Texas got up, and a swelling anthem began. Sussurro belted it out, and though I might be biased, I thought she had an incredible singing voice. 

Texas, however, spoke in her usual monotone. No rhythm. No attempt at singing. I almost fell out of my barstool laughing, and I was not the only one. Sussurro kept trying to kick Texas, but she was laughing too hard, and Texas dodged without even looking. 

Next were Gavial and Eunectes. 

“Alright everybody, I’m afraid that I don’t know the Sargonian national anthem, or even if there is one! So instead, we’re going to sing the hit Alive Until Sunset hit single, All Hail Savior!” 

I nearly spit my drink out as Gavial and Eunectes belted out a very familiar metal album. It was actually Gavial’s image song from Ideal City, and I was shocked to learn it was actually a real song here on Terra. Both of them played air guitar, head banged, and pretended to do a drum solo at the appropriate moments, then slapped tails at the end and pumped their fists as the crowd cheered. 

Several other people went up, and we all ended up drinking a lot of beer and sang along to all kinds of wacky songs, a few I recognized from Monster Siren Records, but most of them entirely alien. 

Then, at last, someone put the microphone in Doktah’s hands, and shoved them up on stage. I’m pretty sure it was Amiya from how she was giggling, no booze for her as she was just 16, but the Doktah stepped up to the stage, hand in one pocket of their jacket. They casually flipped through the menus on the karaoke machine as everyone waited with baited breath. At last, they made a selection, nodding as they stepped back. 

Then, the music started, and everyone sucked in a collective breath. I mean, I recognized the music.

It was 24 Hour Cinderella. 

Kicking up one heel, the Doktah began to sing,

Oh my princess, I LOVE YOU! You know that it’s true!

And I know YOU LOVE ME! It’s easy to see!

So slip away! With me! My dear, and I’ll be your charming tonight!

Past the crowd we STEP AND GO! Through cities we know!

And when the STORMS roll in! We won’t even slow!

Because our love! Is like! A MAGIC SPELL!

It’s never wearing off!

Laughing hysterically, Amiya was shoved up to the stage when Doktah beckoned to her, and they turned the song into a duet, bouncing up and down on stage and making cutesy hand signs, even turning about in a dance and swaying up and down and back and forth like a pair of Higashian idols. 

“Kawaiiiiii!” I shouted, then nearly died of laughter as the Doktah put one hand up to their face and tilted it up in the “smile” gesture like a real idol would make, though they still had the hood on. 

Seeing Amiya like that, though, grinning and dancing cutely, it was easy to forget she was the King of Fiends and leader of a PMC. She just looked like an ordinary teenager, laughing and having fun with her weird uncle, or possibly dad, who knew. 

They were just finishing when the door opened, and Kal’tsit stepped in. She got the full

 My all day Princess of Terra!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

With Doktah and Amiya kneeling on the stage and extending their hands up towards one another and doing jazz hands. 

Dead silence. Everyone watched as Kal’tsit regarded the leader of Rhodes Island and the Ghost of Babel posing like pop stars. 

For a moment, no one knew what would happen. Kal’stit slowly lifted her hands…and began to clap. 

“Bravo,” she said, one eyebrow raised. 

We all burst into cheers, and Doktah and Amiya stood, Amiya looking terribly embarrassed, and bowed. 

“Sugoi sugoi!” I called, which made another peel of laughter ring out. Then, I hopped off my stool and hobbled over to Kal’stit, grabbing a microphone. I pressed it into her hands. “Come on, Director! You gotta take a shot too.”

There was a collective intact of breath. A few people looked at me like I was certifiable, including Sussurro, who had gone pale as a sheet and had her hands over her mouth.

Kal’tsit looked at me, then at the microphone, and her lips turned down in a frown. She opened her mouth, then a breathless Amiya was at my side. “Yes, Kal’stit! Everyone’s singing, even Doctor and I! You should take a turn as well!” 

“Director Mom sing!” Red called from the crowd. I hadn’t even realized she was there.

Kal’tsit expression softened, and she took the microphone. She stepped up to the stage, made a few keystrokes, and waited, regarding the screen. She stood there stiffly, until the music began. Then, suddenly, she passed a hand over her face, and it was like someone else was up there. 

And holy, shit, but I recognized this song! Twice! Once from its similarities to Sorairo Days from Earth, and again from a Higashian Super Robot Show called Sekiryū Gōshōten. 

Tell me now – if you can hear,

Even through the storm and the fear,

Loud and clear, a voice that shines

Against the darkened skies.

If this land still holds some worth,

Then we’ll find the light through the curse,

Break the chains of fate and guide these feelings to life.

At first, everyone was too shocked to respond as Kal’tsit energetically danced on stage, grinning and winking like a much younger woman. Then everyone was on their feet, and a lot of the people there were enthusiastically roaring out the song along with Kal’tsit. The floor shuddered as people jumped up and down and pumped their fists. 

When she finished, Kal’tsit had to wipe sweat from her brown, her face going back to the default neutral. Well, it did until Amiya nearly tackled her off the stage with a hug. 

“That was incredible! I hadn’t realized you were a fan of Crimson Dragon Ascendant Star! It’s my favorite show!” Amiya laughed. 

Kal’stit looked slightly awkward, shrugging one shoulder. “It is the most popular anime among our operators. I watched several episodes so that I could understand the themes.”

“She stayed up for two days and binged the whole thing,” Doktah confided in a stage whisper. “She has all the manga too.”

Kal’tsit shot Doktah a death glare, then sighed. “I found the message of reckless optimism and hope to be a pleasant change from the usual dreary fare.” 

“And also, Kazuo is SUPER HOT!” Amiya laughed, and several of the female operators, and one burly male, whistled and cheered in approval. 

Nothing could really top that, though Sussurro and I did attempt to sing a love song in a duet. She deliberately picked one she didn’t know to even the playing field, and we were a complete train wreck, even if she did way better than I did. Still, it was a lot of fun, especially when Exusiai got up and rapped “Rap God” from, I shit you not, Goat Eminem, who was, in fact, called Eminem. The lyrics were even nearly the same. 

At the end, we were all exhausted and ready for bed, despite the early hour the expedition was heading out in a caravan of vehicles in the morning. Exusiai walked back to her room with us, and she turned to face me. “Bones…I really am sorry. I was wrong to shoot. I…I’ve been under a lot of pressure, but…I want you to know…I’m going to take what I’ve learned, and try…try to make the world a better place. Even if I can’t do it by protecting you.”

“Hey, it’s OK,” I said, since she looked near tears. I gave her a quick hug, and Sussurro nodded her approval to me, so I didn’t feel too bad. “I forgive you, OK? And I’m sure we’ll see each other again. Who knows, maybe we’ll be together on a field mission, if they ever let me off this landship. Go have fun, and save those Durins, OK? I’m honestly jealous, visiting an underground paradise in Sargon sounds fun.”

“Yeah, I guess it does. Well, at least I’ll get to travel again!” Exusiai said. She saluted, then waved goodbye.

Sussurro and I were so exhausted we just stripped and fell into bed. 

“Can you believe Doktah sang that cheesy idol pop song?” I said as we lay together. 

“Forget that, I can’t believe you asked the Director to sing…and that she actually did! I’ve never seen her that emotive,” Sussurro giggled. 

“Yeah. It was fun,” I said, stroking her tail. It was so soft and fluffy. Honestly, all girls should have tails. 

“Mmm. Here’s to more like it,” Sussurro said. We kissed, then a short time later, fell asleep in one another’s arms. As we drifted off, I pondered what it would be like to have kids in such a world.

Maybe, just maybe, they could enjoy this life too.