May I Enjoy My Life: Entry 14

Entry 19, Day 37

By nature, I am not an early riser. Probably the number of late night shifts and all-nighters I’ve pulled. So let me say that when someone buzzed my door at 5am sharp on my first night in the new apartment, I was not thrilled. 

I stumbled out of my bed, pulling on a pair of rumpled pants, and opened the door with the t-shirt I’d slept in on, blinking at the bright artificial light. I was about to ask some pointed questions, then immediately came to alertness when I recognized the person at my door. 

“Director Kal’tsit! Uh, sorry, I’m not really presentable,” I stammered. 

“Dress. Do not bother with toiletries. I require your presence this morning,” Kal’tsit told me, then shut my door. 

I hastily pulled on some socks and shoes, grabbed my jacket, and hurried back into the hallway. I opened my mouth, but Kal’tsit just turned and started walking. I hurried after her, not certain what was happening. 

“Um, am I scheduled for a rotation? Sorry, I didn’t check the board or anything.”

“You are not late for a shift, Dr. McCoy. Now be silent. Speak only when I grant you leave.”

I shut my mouth and followed after that. We headed down to a loading bay, where Kal’tsit took a truck and told me to get in. After that, we were lowered down to the ground. At that moment, we were passing through what looked like a fertile green valley, with trees, grass, and rolling hills stretching away all around us. There was a lake not too far away sparkling in the early morning sun, and I could see birds flying about. 

The landship had left a churned-up wake behind it, flattening entire forests as it trundled along. It was moving at a pace not much above a brisk walk, but Kal’tsit drove the truck down to the lake, which took only about 10 minutes, rumbling off-road. Once there, she got out, grabbed a picnic basket, and set down by the lakeside. I slowly got out, looking around uncertainly. But she just gestured me to sit, and I did so. 

She handed me a thermos of what turned out to be coffee, along with packets of cream and sugar. I’m not a black coffee kinda guy. I’ll drink it, sure, but I poured in the creamer and a bit of sugar, shook it up, then sipped at the coffee. I eyed Kal’tsit, but she still hadn’t said anything, so I kept my trap shut. 

I looked out at the lake, where birds a lot like ducks were swimming and diving. There were lots of bugs buzzing about, and I even saw a herd of strange looking creatures like shaggy deer with short legs grazing on the grass across the lake. Frankly, it was beautiful and wondrous, and I drank it all in for ten whole minutes. 

At what I am certain was exactly the ten-minute mark, Kal’tsit put the lid back on her own thermos and nodded. “Good. You are capable of being silent when the need arises. I will not have to teach you that lesson, at least. On to other matters, then. Do you know why I took you out here, Dr. McCoy?”

“Well, I assume it wasn’t to murder me and dump the body,” I said, which earned me a nonplussed look from her. “Sorry, sorry! Uh, to interrogate me where people can’t overhear?”

“Indeed. It is time to plumb the depths of what you have termed your ‘weird alien knowledge’ to see what it is that you know. I would sift through the dross to find the pearls, as while you clearly are privy to a great many things you should not be, it is equally clear that much of your information is flawed.”

I fiddled with my mostly empty thermos. “Uh, OK. What do you want to know?”

“Let us begin with what you were discussing with Lemuel while you convalesced. What do you know of the Sankta, Dr. McCoy? Be thorough. I would know all that I must contend with.”

“Honestly, not as much as I’d like,” I said, frowning. I pondered where to start, but decided to lead with something I knew quite a bit about: Integrated Strategies. Specifically, Ending 3, Holy City. “So, originally, the Law took Sarkaz, and somehow, over time, turned them into Sankta. I’m not sure how, exactly, but my best guess is that it’s Clarketech from the same source that originium is, namely, the Precursors. Same with Friston-3, the sarcophagi, and of course, the Oracle and the Priestess. And you.”

Kal’tsit regarded the lake, taking a slow sip of her coffee. She nodded. “Much of what you say is true. The Sankta were created by the Law from Teekaz stock, some 13,000 years ago. Originally, the Law and myself served the same purpose. Both of us have diverged from our original mandate, which I will not share with you at this time. You have referred to this ‘Clarketech’ before. Define this term for me.”

“Uh, it’s from Clarke’s Third Law. ‘Any sufficiently advanced Science is indistinguishable from magic.’ Clarketech just means that it’s a technology so advanced that to basically anyone, it might as well just be straight up magic, don’t bother trying to explain how it works or what it is. In the Law’s case, it’s some sort of AI supercomputer that gave the Sankta halos and their guns, and can withdraw whatever it does to them if they violate its rules and turn them back into Sarkaz. Like it did with Mostima. I also…” I swallowed. “I also think it’s breaking. Though it hasn’t gone crazy and started brainwashing everything around it like it did in a potential future where you were forced to destroy it in a crusade.”

That last line made Kal’tsits ears twitch. She digested what I’d said for a few moments, then shook her head slightly. “Let us not tarry upon possibilities, for our time this morning is limited. Calling the Law a device so advanced that it may as well be considered magic is not an inaccurate description. Neither is calling it an ‘AI supercomputer,’ though that falls grossly short of what the Law is. What else do you know of this subject?”

“Well, this isn’t a ‘know’ so much as a ‘guess’ but…I’m pretty sure that the reason the Sarkaz and Sankta hate one another is the Precursors fought the Sarkaz, and the Sarkaz sort of lost? Or at least, they had their power broken. Guess I should say Teekaz, they weren’t really proper Sarkaz at that point. Anyway, the Sarkaz view the Sankta as race traitors, or did originally, while the Sankta…I guess they just hate the Sarkaz because they view them as unenlightened barbarians who refused the Law’s divine light, or something.”

“Your guess is closer to the truth than the theories of some of the greatest scholars of the age. The story is long, complex, and we have not the time for it. Suffice to say that both Sarkaz and Sankta have forgotten their original quarrel. This I will say: I have suspected for many years that the Law is failing. It is…not of the same nature as myself, not in whole. Its ability to renew and repair itself is…limited. If it should fail, however…that would be cause a great deal of destabilization upon Terra.” 

 “So, uh, I shouldn’t tell Exusiai all this?” I asked. 

Kal’tsit regarded me for a while. She sighed and turned back to the lake. “You value the young Sankta? Care for her?”

“She’s one of the few friends I have in this world. Actually, she’s probably a better friend than I had back on Earth, either. I had some buddies, but no one that would die for me like I saw her do,” I said quietly. 

“And thus, you would not cause her pain. But the question then becomes, what is more painful? To conceal from her a truth that would surely bring pain if it becomes known, or to let her live in ignorance, which has its own cost. A cost that could be great indeed if it leads to her fall, and the fall of her race.”

“Yeah, I guess that sums it up,” I agreed, feeling miserable. “I’m usually of the opinion that honesty is the best policy and the truth shall set you free, but…”

“Then I shall leave the decision in your hands.”

I frowned at her. “But you told me before not to tell her.”

“I did indeed. But several events have played out since then. For one, you have demonstrated your own personal courage, and willingness to face severe adversity, even when it brings you little personal gain, in order to save those you cherish. And, perhaps, even to aid those unknown to you. The second is that Lemuel swore herself to a vampire. Such a thing has not happened in nearly 700 years, since Qa'vessan and Lucienne swore to one another.”

“Really? Exusiai seemed to think it had never happened.”

“Very little has never happened before. Even your abilities are likely to not be wholly unique, Dr. McCoy. It is a rare thing for a Sankta and Vampire to swear to one another. The tale of Qa’vessan and Lucienne is a long one. They began as enemies, but ended as lovers. A tragic tale that ended in sorrow and blood, and that was scrubbed from history by both Laterano and Kazdel. But I remember. For I was there, and I held their child with a dim halo when he was born. It is possible that Lemuel is a descendant of Caelum. I confess, I have lost track of their bloodline in the intervening centuries. But I raised Caelum myself, once his parents were slain by their own people. I had hoped he would be a bridge between the two races, but it was not to be.”

Talk about lore bombs. This was frankly insane. “Uh, wow, so, there’ve been a lot of half-Sankta over the centuries?”

“That is a vague word. I know of several hundred cases, and there were likely more. Put two fecund races in a room together, and they will make life with one another. Perhaps even find love. Yes, there have been many instances of the children of Sankta and Sarkaz. For a majority of those children, they were slaughtered for supposed heresy, to conceal the Law’s secret.

Kal’tsit turned to me. “Be wary of giving Lemuel a child. I know not what the nature of the fruit of such a union would be, for that, Dr. McCoy, may truly be something that has not happened before, even in my own long life.”

I blushed deeply and shook my head. “Woah, hold on there! Look, Lemuel is cute, OK, she’s beautiful, but that’s not- we’re not sleeping together!” 

“I am aware. I am merely warning you. I can easily foresee a path where you two consummate a relationship, even only for a night, and she quickens. Perhaps the child would follow the rule with Ancient and Elder races, and have no trace of Sankta. Perhaps they would be as the union of Sarkaz and Sankta. And, again unique, perhaps they would be full blooded Sankta. Be wary, Dr. McCoy. I would not discourage such a union, only warn you of potential outcomes.”

“Sheesh, don’t see me asking about your sex life,” I grumbled, feeling deeply uncomfortable. 

“I cannot bear children. Not in the sense you think of,” Kal’tsit said, looking back to the lake, where a family of duck things paddled. “I have taken lovers. Though not for some time. My progeny is sterile, for it is merely more of myself. That, Dr. McCoy, is a secret few know.”

“Oh, like, when…” I swallowed. “Um, you want me to talk about what I know about you?”

Kal’tsit was silent again, regarding the lake. At last, she stood. “We have spoken enough for now. You have given me a great deal to ponder. As to what you know of me…I am not yet ready to hear such things. Consider what I have told you. Think on if you wish to bear your heart to Lemuel. And think on what it would mean to take her as a lover. She would not be adverse, I think, though you have some work to do in that regard.”

“I…” I stared at Kal’tsit mouth open. Not be adverse!? The hell did that mean?!

“There is the matter of your oripathy to consider. Which is why we must return. Know that if Lemuel were to bear your child, she would almost certainly become infected. That is true of any you would take to bed. Be cautious. Many couples have decided to risk infection to start a family. Life does find a way, but many also live short lives that take that route. Some find it worth the sacrifice. Others curse it bitterly. I make no judgment. I too have given up much for love’s sake.”

Then she got back in the truck and started it. I stumbled to my feet and hopped in the passenger side. 

“Feeling uncomfortable? Disoriented? Angered?” Kal’tsit commented as she drove back towards the landship, which was slowly making its way to parts unknown, at least to me. 

“Uh, yeah, that’s a pretty good summation,” I said, gritting my teeth. 

“Good. That is how your ‘weird alien knowledge’ will feel to those around you if you are not cautious with your tongue. Typically, I do not offer romantic advice, but I have seen relationships develop often enough to be able to offer insight. Insight that may appear oracular in nature, but is merely the fruit of a long life of painful lessons. However, I will tell you one thing more.”

“Do I really want to hear it?” I said, feeling like I wanted to throttle the old well. 

“Lemuel is not the only potential partner. Choose well and wisely, Dr. McCoy. But do choose. Your life, I fear, shall be short. I would see you find what solace and joy you can in the time you have left. Including knowing what it is to find a lover, and to hold a child in your arms. Even if such a joy is denied to myself.”

“Uh, thanks?”

“Should you require sage advice, consider my door always open to you, Dr. McCoy. This shall not be the last of our talks. But, for those that touch upon your otherworldly knowledge, do not speak of it all on the landship. Nor even in a vehicle such as this. I may, perhaps, merely be old and paranoid. But one does not become as ancient as I without a touch of paranoia. For as they say-”

“Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you,” I interrupted, then worried I’d made her mad. 

Instead, she gave me a rare small smile. “Quite.”

The landship lowered a ramp for us to drive up into the loading bay, where to my surprise a familiar face was waiting for us. Blaze was all grins, and dressed in an outfit closer to the one I was familiar with, no body armor this time. She waved when she saw the car, and when Kal’tsit had parked, strode over and leaned on the driver’s side window. “Hey there, Director! This the fresh meat?”

“Indeed. I will leave Dr. McCoy in your capable hands, Gu.”

Goo?! Blaze’s real name was goo?! Or at least, that was my initial thought. I’d learn later it was spelled Gu, full name Gu Zhuhuang. My Babel Fish told me that she basically took her last name as her code name, as Blaze is basically the same as Huang in Yanese. 

“I told ya, call me Blaze!” she said cheerfully. “Heya! We met before, but you were a tad unconscious, Bones.”

“I recall,” I said, extending my hand, which Blaze attempted to pulp as she pumped it enthusiastically. I don’t think she was even trying to prove she was stronger than me, she just doesn’t do half measures. 

She looked different from what I’d expected. For one, she had what I would call distinctly asian features despite her blue eyes. She was also, well, older. Not ancient, but definitely middle-aged with smile lines and wrinkles on her face. She still looked incredible, though. Frankly, I do not understand how Rhodes Island has so many attractive people on it. Freaking Greys Anatomy doesn’t have a medical department that’s got as many 10/10s as Rhodes Island does. Even combat ops like Blaze who should look beat to hell look really pretty.

Actually, even Team Rainbow looks like it's composed of movie stars. What’s up with that? Am I prettier than I used to be? I studied myself in a mirror later, and I think I might be? I dunno, never spent much time looking at myself, and I’ve got these bags under my eyes from all the pain and stress. 

“Great! I’m going to be overseeing your initial training. Normally, they don’t call me in for the new recruits, but you’re something special! So you get me, hot stuff.”

“And let me guess, you’ve got enough clearance that if I do accidentally say something sensitive, it won’t cause too many issues.”

Blaze blinked at that, then glanced at Kal’tsit. “Director? I thought I was just babysitting our new asset. I thought his status was going to be generally known.”

Babysitting. Fantastic. Not like I was a grown adult and everything. 

Even if I maybe hadn’t been acting like it. 

“Operator Bones is privy to a great deal of knowledge. Perhaps even about yourself, Zhuhuang. He is under orders not to simply blab that information out to the first person he meets, but he has a habit of doing so. You were chosen in no small part because you have the highest level clearance of any of our operators, and thus, can judge when Bones is in need of shall we say, percussive maintenance. Do take care not to break him.”

“Huh. You wanna start with what you know about me?” Blaze said, her tail starting to swish back and forth. Fun fact: Wagging tails are a good sign for perro, lupo, and vulpo. They are a bad sign for felines. I had a vague idea of that from my time on Earth and having pets as a kid, but I quickly figured that much out. Other races with tails I’m still figuring out. 

“Er, I know you're an elite Operator from Rhodes Island, you've got a degree in Thermal Process Engineering, you've got fire-based arts, and potentially that you play the drums?”

Blaze frowned at me, then glanced at Kal’tsit. “Seriously? None of that's even remotely classified. Interesting he knows about my degree, but that ain't a secret.” 

“I mean, I also know you were at Lungmen and had a spat with GreyThroat, but I don't recall all the details.”

“Meh. Common knowledge, and me and Risa buried the hatchet years ago. Whatever. Come on, kid, let's put you through your paces,” Blaze said, walking away.

Kal'tsit touched my arm as I opened the truck door. “Simply because Gu Zhuhuang has the clearance does not mean all you know should be shared with her.”

“Er, right. Any other reason you picked her?”

“She is extremely competent and unlikely to allow you to cure her. Thus, preserving your life by denying you the temptation to overexert yourself. And of course, Zhuhuang will tolerate no disrespect from you. Thus, furthering your education in keeping a civil tongue in your head.”

“I'm not just going to try curing everyone I meet,” I muttered, stepping out of the car. I wasn't the type to want a mommy to step on me, but Blaze…there had been a lot of pictures from my phone that were gone, and a lot of them had been of her. Like, an unfortunate amount. To meet her in the flesh…it was the most surreal experience I'd had thus far.

I hurried over to the elevator where Blaze was waiting for me, and she hit the button, closing the gate on the open platform and sending us up.

“So, you survived telling the Director to shut up. She must like you. That, or she's decided that being able to do what you do is valuable enough not to just rip your head off,” Blaze commented as we rose. 

I winced. She had been there for that. “Yeah, I had to apologize for that. Or, uh, I should, I guess. She's been very kind. I'm not normally such an ass.” 

“I figured. Arts overdose is nasty, had it happen to me a few times,” Blaze said with a nod. “Civilian doc, right?” 

“Yeah, my brother was military, not me. Though I could have used the GI bill. Guess…” I trailed off. I'd been about to joke that dying was one way to get out of paying off my student loans. Mine hadn't been too bad as I'd always been an extremely good student and had nearly a full ride, but I bit my tongue.

“I'm gonna guess the GI bill is something from Earth. Don't forget you're from Terra now, specifically in Columbia. As well as having no living relatives,” Blaze told me.

“Er, yeah, so you know…?”

“Enough. But I don't need to know more. Just cause you got the clearance doesn't mean you go reading about classified stuff willy-nilly. I have done ops with Team Rainbow, and we've chatted. But you gotta learn to compartmentalize and know when to shut it. I think I'm seeing why the Director gave you to me.”

I nodded, my vision suddenly blurry and my eyes misting. Dammit, why did I have to cry in front of Blaze of all people?! 

A hand rested on my shoulder. “Esh, sorry kid, wasn't trying to chew you out. This is new, and it's a skill you have to learn.”

“No, it's just…my family. They…they might as well be dead. I…I'll never see them again. Sorry. It's fine, it just…it hit me, right then.” 

I forced the tears away and smiled, but Blaze, to my shock, drew me into a hug, patting me on the back.

“Cry it out. A lot of us here have lost all their family. My parents might be alive, but I've been dead to them since I was infected. Still tears me up.”

I gingerly hugged her back, trying not to feel her breasts pressed against me. “Um, thanks. But I'm good, really. Just took me by surprise, is all.”

Blaze let me go and nodded. “I get it. You got any friends here yet?”

“Sussurro, Exusiai, Texas, Gavial. Probably Verdant, Windflit, and Myrtle as well. Heck, Tachanka and Ash too. People have been good to me here.”

“Rhodes Island might call itself a corporation, but we're really more of a family. Sure, we got jobs and stuff, but we're all here for the same reason.”

“To tell oripathy to go fuck itself and spit in the face of death,” I said with a nod.

“I'd have said fight for the rights of the infected and make the world a better place, but that's not a bad answer. You are a doc, after all.”

The elevator had come to a stop, and Blaze led me down a series of halls, and into a gymnasium, which had a running track, obstacle course, and some exercise stations. There was a full sized pool in the next room over, as well as a large weight room. There were a lot of people exercising, and I even thought I recognized a few. Several people waved to Blaze or called out greetings, and she waved back, introducing me to several.

“Hey, are you that guy?” Spot of all people asked, wiping sweat from his brow. He was with Popukar, who gasped and peered at me more closely. “The one who cured a whole village of Oripathy and fought an Emperor's Blade?”

What the fuck sort of rumors had people been spreading? “Uh, no. I can assure you that if I saw an Emperor's Blade, I would wet myself, then run like hell. Or maybe the other way around. And I definitely have not cured any villages. I am a doctor, but I'm a year one resident, so don't expect miracles from me.”

“Huh,” Spot eyed me again, then shrugged. “Well, whatever. Call me Spot. Everyone else does. I'm on Operations Team Six. This here is Popukar, who's in the reserves.”

“Um, h-hi,” Popukar said, waving shyly. She looked like she was maybe 13, with her eye patch hiding what I could detect as a massive oripathy lesion that had probably blinded her. Spot on the other hand was harder. He looked like a Hyena on two legs, so I couldn't figure his age, but I got the sense he was a bit younger than me. Both had on gym shorts and t-shirts, slick with sweat, while Popucar had on a beanie to hide her lop ears.

“You two better hurry on, or I'll make you join my training session!” Blaze laughed. They nodded and jogged, and Blaze took me to the side of the track. 

“Right! I'm going to put you through a basic fitness routine to assess your abilities. Let's start with some warm-ups.

I did the warm-ups easily enough, though I could feel the pain mounting. When we tried push-ups next, I got down on the ground, but nearly immediately cried out in pain and collapsed.

“Bones! Talk to me!” Blaze ordered, kneeling beside me.

“Sorry, it's just…” I winced, then sat up and peeled off my gloves, showing my lesions. The newer ones on my left had started bleeding.

“OK. Nothing that involves the hands, then. Let's get that patched up before we move on,” Blaze said firmly.

“I'm fine,” I gasped, blushing and trying to play it off. “I'll live.” 

“You'll infect someone with that attitude. You're a doc, you should know that,” Blaze scolded, then forcibly escorted me to a first aid station, and wrapped my hands up, which further flustered me.

“How long?” She asked quietly.

“Bleeding is new. Being infected? Bit over two weeks.”

Blaze nodded soberly. “And there's no oripathy where you grew up, is there?”

“No. Only as a story. Not an actual disease.”

She sighed and nodded, tying off the wrap. “Well, think of this as the worst blood-borne pathogen imaginable, then multiply the hazard by ten. That's how you have to treat it.”

“Yeah, I know,” I said, flexing my hand. “I just…you must think I'm pathetic.”

“Far from it. I heard about you, you know. Saved an infected kid in Ursus. Then, you refused to hide in Vyseheim and instead saved dozens of lives.” 

“Yeah, that was probably stupid of me,” I said bitterly, venting a fear that had been festering in the back of my mind. “If I'd stayed hidden, that hospital wouldn't have been hit. How many lives did my arrogance cost?”

Blaze regarded me, then leaned in close. “That's a stupid way of looking at things. Do you regret the lives you've saved?”

“Well, no, but-”

“People needed help. You helped. Maybe they wouldn't have hit that hospital if you weren't there. Maybe they would have, and without your team in place, more would have died. What matters is you acted instead of sitting on your ass. You didn't kill those people. You helped to save them. Keep moving forward. Learn from it, sure. But never regret doing the right thing.” 

I thought about that, about the guilt gnawing at my conscience. So I asked Blaze the question that I could barely ask myself. “Did I kill them? What would you have done?” 

Blaze blew out a long breath. “You don't listen so good, huh? No, you didn't kill them, the Horn Eaters did. And me? I'd have listened to my senior operator. Which in your case, was Dr. Sussurro. And what did she say?”

“That we should help. Texas was against it, though.”

“Texas isn't near as much of a cold fish as she thinks she is. Sussurro’s a good doc, and a good kid. She gets Rhodes Island's mission. She thinks you should help? Follow her lead. And honestly, Bones, what would have happened if you hadn't helped?” 

“Well, a lot of the people I saved would be dead, I guess.”

“Yeah, and?”

I was flailing at that point. “Uh, I'd feel guilty that I had done nothing?”

“Sure. What about the Black Empress?”

“Oh.” I scratched my freshly shaved chin, Goldenglow having given me a shave the day before. “Well, she probably wouldn't have let me go, I guess.”

“Bingo. Doing the right thing doesn't always pay off that obviously. Sometimes, it makes things harder. Now, I'm not saying to be reckless. But don't be afraid to have the courage to do what you know is right, even if it's a risk. Now, let's do some situps!”

We did the rest of the exercises, skipping stuff like pull-ups that needed my hands. I didn't think I did too badly, running a kilometer in a respectable six minutes along with some other decent benchmarks.

Blaze, however, disillusioned me.

“You've spent a lot of time sitting on your rear, haven't you? Skipped hitting the gym?” She remarked after noting down my scores.

“I mean…I'm a doctor, fresh out of med school,” I panted. “PT wasn't really a part of the curriculum.” 

“Well, it is now. You ever want to do field ops, you're gonna need to improve. A lot. Oh, don't give me that kicked leporibeast look. I'm not saying you're a bad person, just that you're obviously a civvy.” 

I grimaced, nodded, and Blaze slapped me on the back. “You'll get there! Now come on, kid, time to get some grub.”

Blaze took me to the cafeteria, and on the way I messaged Sussurro, Exusiai, and Texas. Sussurro was working a shift at the hospital, but said we should get dinner together. The others met us at the cafeteria, with Exusiai grinning and waving, while Texas sucked on a lollipop and looked stoned faced.

“Hey you two, I got new orders for ya,” Blaze said, grinning as she walked up. She pointed at me, then said, “Whip this guy into shape, alright? I know the medics like to skip gym, but make him work out. Easy on the hands, but make sure he does PT at least three times a week.”

“You got it! Hey Texas, we got us a new gym buddy! Try not to break him,” Exusiai laughed.

She just nodded, moving the candy about her mouth. 

“Well, good. I've got things to do, so I’m leaving Bones with you. Take care!”

With that, Blaze strode off, and I watched her go for a moment, then shook my head. No shot I had a chance with her. I turned back to Exusiai and asked, “So, what's for lunch? Didn't have anything but coffee for breakfast.”

“Looks like chicken and vegetables with rice, with tapioca pudding for dessert! Should be pretty good, come on!” Exusiai told me. 

Lunch was fairly decent, but I noticed I was getting a lot of stares from a lot of people in the cafeteria. This was just one of the three main public cafeterias, or galleys, I guess? We’re sort of on a ship, but I’m no sailor. Anyone, there’s one in the front, one on the back, and one in the middle, this was the one towards the front. It was still huge, seating for over a thousand people with massive amounts of food hot and ready to eat at any hour of the day or night. It was also free, provided you had a Rhodes Island ID card, which I did by that point. For visitors there was a nominal fee. Various other eateries were paid, like the cafe we’d visited the day before. There were also the hospital kitchens, which made special food for patients. 

We got our food and went back to the table, with Exusiai pausing to chat with a couple of other Sankta, including Adnachiel, who looked a bit older and had a gun instead of his crossbow. They pointed at me and Texas, and Exusiai laughed and shrugged, before waving and hurrying back to us, apparently to the other Sankta’s disappointment. 

“Why do I get the feeling I’m being watched?” I asked, looking around the cafeteria. 

“Because you are,” Texas said, eyes on her food. 

Exusiai nodded. “Yeah, sorry. I think that basically everyone knows a mysterious new operative came in with me and Texas, and that they’re supposed to be able to cure oripathy.”

“Well, I hope Amiya hurries up with that damn announcement so I can stop pretending,” I muttered, taking a bite of my food. It was pretty good. Not amazing, but about what you’d expect from good cafeteria food. 

After lunch, it was time for Training With Exusiai and Texas. Or as I like to call it: Torture. 

My brother Michael had described what it was like to undergo basic training for the army. This probably wasn’t quite as bad: Exusiai and Texas weren’t explicitly trying to break me down, but it was an afternoon of intense physical exercise after a morning of already pretty rough basic fitness exams. I ran obstacle courses while lugging heavy equipment and did some drills.

Oh, and Exusiai was shooting at me while I did it.

“Don’t worry, James, it’s just rubber bullets!” she laughed as she sprayed bullets over my head and I tried to run through the obstacle course. “Besides, I’m a good shot!” 

“Rubber bullets can still kill!” I gasped, trying to scramble up a rock wall. To my irritation, Texas just jumped from the bottom to halfway up, flung herself up by her hands, and then perched on top of the wall, staring down at me. 

“Move faster. You’re slow.”

“I’m going as fast as I-OW! You said you wouldn’t shoot me!”

“No, I said I’m a good shot! Now hurry up or I’ll shoot you in the ass again!” 

At the end of the obstacle course, Texas lay down and Exusiai doodled on her arm as well as squirting her with fake blood, even as I was stumbling up, gasping for breath from the heavy pack on my back. 

“Oh no, Texas is injured! Better treat her, fast!” Exusiai urged. 

I grumbled under my breath, but knelt and quickly assessed the ‘injury.’ Compound fraction of the arm. Easy. I quickly field-dressed the wound and splinted it, along with faking an injection of morphine and antibiotics. 

“I could just heal the arm with arts, but that seemed more practical,” I said with a nod to Texas, who examined the cast. 

“Good. Now do it with Exusiai shooting at us.”

“Wait, what?! OW! STOP SHOOTING ME IN THE ASS!” 

“Haha, you’ll be fine! Now come on, do it again, but faster this time!” 

I swear, Sankta are crazy. 

By the time we were done, I could barely drag myself back to my apartment with Texas and Exusiai carrying the gear. I had been shot in the ass no less than five times. No where else, just the ass. To be fair, that’s about the safest place to shoot someone. The gluteus maximus is a great big muscle, and while I was bruised all to hell and back, it was hardly lethal. Exusiai had Texas run the obstacle course with me, with at least one time of Texas chasing me while smacking me with a foam bat. That also hurt like hell, because lupos are much stronger than your average Earthling, and Texas was much stronger than most lupos. 

I was about ready to tell Sussurro we’d have to get dinner some other time, while Exusiai and Texas were talking animatedly about where we would go to get dinner (well, mostly Exusiai was talking animatedly, Texas was just nodding or saying things like ‘sure’ or ‘ok’). Just before I crawled back into my apartment and died, I heard the click of heels and looked up to see Sussurro striding towards us. 

She was wearing a black cocktail dress, black nylons, and carrying a small purse. She had a pair of black heels as well, and she looked like a million bucks. I blinked at her, and a lot of that soreness sort of just vanished. 

“Hey, I just got off, you guys look like you need to get changed, though,” Sussurro said. 

“Actually, I just remembered, Texas and I have something to do,” Exusiai said.

“We do?” Texas asked, sounding puzzled. 

“Absolutely. We need to plan a training regimen for James here and file a report back to Boss about our progress so far,” Exusiai nodded emphatically. “So we’re going to have to pass.”

“We could just do that to-” Texas paused, and it looked like Exusiai had just yanked hard on her tail. Instead of biting Exusiai’s head off, she said, “I see. Yes. Busy.”

“Uh, you sure?” I said. “It’s gonna take me a few minutes to shower and change.” And did they really need to plan out how they were going to torture me for the next few weeks? 

“Positive! You two have fun now,” Exusiai said, and dragged Texas away, who still seemed just as confused as I was. 

I turned back to Sussurro, but she looked…relieved? Huh. “Give me 10, I’m a bit stinky so I’ll need to grab a quick shower. You, uh, wanna come in? There’s not much to do…”

“Of course,” Sussurro agreed, and I let her in to sit down on my bed while I grabbed what clothes I had. I didn’t have anything as nice as what she had on, some pants, a clean shirt, and a decent jacket. 

I showered as quick as I could, the bathroom was thankfully behind a door, then changed. Sussurro was still waiting for me, and I blushed when I found her sitting on my bed, still pulling on my jacket. “You uh, look good. Sorry I don’t have anything to match…”

“It’s fine, we’ll get you new clothes once your first paycheck comes in,” she told me, standing. “Though admittedly, it won’t be much.”

“You guys mentioned that. Rhodes Island doesn’t pay super well?” I asked as we stepped back out into the hall. 

“Well, technically, the compensation package is quite generous. Room and board are completely covered, as are basic necessities like toiletries, clothing, and so on, all the stuff we got you. The big one though, is for Infected like us. Our oripathy treatments are entirely free. Someone could go broke getting the drugs we do as part of our job. The rest of your healthcare is free of charge as well, but the big one is the treatments. The front-line drugs we give people are extremely expensive. We try and diffuse the costs as much as possible, if there’s a Rhodes Island clinic in a city we give out the drugs practically free to the Infected, but there are just so many places we can’t operate, like Ursus or most of Bolivar.”

“There’s a war or something in Bolivar, right?” I asked, frowning and trying to remember. 

“Yes, a civil war that’s lasted 52 years. No faction seems to be able to get the upper hand, and the bloodshed is unending it seems,” Sussurro said with a heavy sigh. “As for Ursus, well…you know their attitude towards the infected all too well. It would be impossible for us to operate there.”

“Stupid. That’s what it is,” I said, shaking my head. 

“Yeah, I’m sure life on Earth is much more peaceful,” Sussurro said, sounding somewhat bitter. 

“Depends on where you live. If you lived in Syria or Africa…probably not. Africa has an ethnic cleansing what feels like a couple of times a decade, and Syria and the Middle East tear themselves apart constantly. Shit, my own brother was in Afghanistan for four years fighting the Taliban and ISIS. America itself? Yeah, peaceful, not many wars. You just have to watch out for the mass shootings where a wacko goes in and slaughters dozens of school kids every week,” I said, feeling more than a little bitter. 

“What?! That’s horrible!” Sussurro said, looking aghast at the very idea. 

“Yeah. I won’t lie, life on Earth is probably better than life on Terra, on average. No oripathy, but we have an AIDS epidemic, and COVID that killed millions. No catastrophes, but earthquakes and hurricanes can still kill tens of thousands. And, well, maybe we don’t have as many insane world ending threats, but people are still going to fight over pointless bullshit.”

“Hmm. I suppose I should have known that from talking with Team Rainbow. You wouldn’t need soldiers like them if your world was truly peaceful, nor weapons so terrible as theirs,” Sussurro mused. 

“Something like that. Sorry, that’s probably not what we should talk about,” I said with a sigh as we entered out onto the main hallway. “The last thing I need is another ass chewing for talking about classified stuff.”

“True enough. Are you alright, by the way? You’re limping,” Sussurro said, glancing at my very sore ass. 

“Uh, Exusiai sort of…shot me in the ass. Five times.”

“What!? Why would she-”

“It was just rubber bullets; they were trying to simulate combat,” I sighed, still struggling along. 

“Of course they were,” Sussurro muttered, along with someone a little more potent. She looked around, then pulled me into a public restroom. 

“Wait, what are you-”

“Drop your pants,” Sussurro said, pulling out an arts wand. “I don’t want you limping along in pain all night.”

“I, uh, you sure?”

“Yes, James, I’m a doctor. It’s not like I haven’t seen people’s bare asses before,” Sussurro told me, though she was blushing slightly. 

I did drop my pants, though I kept my boxers on. Sussurro yanked them down anyway. Then she ran her wand over my bruises, and I gasped and shuddered as her arts washed over me. “Oh…oh that feels good…”

“There. I’m not as good a healer as you, but you should be able to sit down without passing out,” she told me, and I hastily pulled my clothes back on. We hastily exited, though we got some funny looks.

“Where are we going, anyway?” I asked. 

“Frankies, it’s a bar with decent food. I figured you could use something relaxing after your day of training,” Sussurro told me. 

I winced. “Uh, I am still broke, you know…”

“It’s fine, I figured I’d have to treat you,” Sussurro said with a smile. “You can buy me dinner sometime to make up for it.”

“Sounds good,” I said, feeling a bit like a heel for having a pretty lady buy me dinner. Heck, people had basically done nothing but care for me since I’d gotten here. Sheesh, at some point I’d need to stand on my own two feet. 

Frankies turned out to be a sort of sports bar, with what looked like soccer and baseball on the TVs. I didn’t recognize anyone there, but people waved hi to Sussurro, and the waitress greeted her by name before showing us to a private table in the back. The food was about what you’d expect from a bar, sandwiches, wings, tacos, and pizza. 

“Don’t try the pizza, it’s not very good,” Sussurro confided in me. “The tacos are decent though.”

“I’ll try that then,” I said. “What do you usually drink?”

“I’m a wine drinker, but if you prefer beer, the O’Darcy is good from what I’ve heard.” 

“Eh, why don’t we just get wine, that sounds good to me,” I said, and Sussurro nodded, placing an order for a Siracusian wine along with a platter of tacos and nachos. 

“So, what should we talk about if we’re not going to discuss classified information?” Sussurro asked while we sipped and waited on the food. 

“Something other than work, for once,” I said. “Honestly, what about you? I mean, I know you’re a doctor and how you got Infected, but…what else can you tell me? I’d like to know more about you than the waifu png in a video game.”

“Waifu png?” Sussurro said, her eyes hooding as she regarded me over her wine. I mentally started kicking myself. Me and my big mouth. But she moved on. 

“Well, you know I enjoy playing Wintermaul. I’ve always enjoyed video games, actually. I used to spend all my allowance at Mr. Carvelli’s arcade when I was a girl.”

“Really? Huh, arcades weren’t really much of a thing back home, though I remember going to Chuck E Cheese as a kid,” I mused. “That was back in Palermo, right?” 

“Yes, it’s on Lake Tenebrimar. It’s warm and sunny most of the year, with plenty of boating and fishing. I remember taking my little sister down to the lakeside to build sandcastles,” Sussurro said with a fond smile. 

“Oh, you got a sister? What’s her name?” 

“Yes, little Murmura. She’s seven now, getting bigger all the time. I also have two brothers, Lucente and Brontolo, but they’re much older than I am, just as much as I am than Murmura.”

“Actually, I don’t know how old you are. I assume you’re older than me, since you’re a full doc and all,” I admitted. 

“Asking a lady her age? How uncouth,” Sussurro said, and batted her eyes before laughing to show she didn’t mind. “That’s a good question for you. In sheer years, I am younger than you at 23. However, Vulpo only have an average life expectancy of 65 years, so I think I’m probably functionally older than you.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that. For me, life expectancy would be 77 years, but…” I looked down at my hands. I had on gloves as usual, but I could still feel the ache of my oripathy, even on the painkillers. I swallowed. “Guess the average for both of us is trending down.”

A small hand took mine, and gripped it, and I looked up to see Sussuro looking at me earnestly. “James. I’m going to live to 65. Unless something drastic happens…I’ll die of natural causes long before my oripathy gets me. I was estimated to only live to 45, 50 at the outside. But…but you came so close to curing me…you gave a decade, maybe two.”

“I…I did?” I said, gently squeezing her hand back. I felt tears come into my eyes, unbidden. Had I…had I actually done something good for her?

“Yes. So I’ll buy you all the dinners and clothes you ever need, James. You gave me…you gave me life. I tried not to think about the fact that I’d be dead in 20 years. So we’ll find a way for you to beat your own oripathy. In two days, you start a rotation in the trauma ward. I’ll be with you the whole time, monitoring you as you use your arts.  Hopefully…hopefully my theory holds true.”

“Right, about me burning off the oripathy,” I said, feeling a surge of hope. “You really think so?”

“It’s too soon to tell. But I do have hope that I’ll have the pleasure of your company for many years to come, James McCoy. So long as you don’t do something stupid and try to cure too many people back to back.”

“Yeah, I…I’ve been having a hard time with that,” I admitted. “How many people are dying of oripathy on this landship, right now?”

“James, I thought you said you didn’t want to talk shop?” Sussurro challenged.

“I…yeah. No, you’re right.” I drained my wine glass, and Sussurro poured me more from the bottle the waiter had left for us. I took another sip and sighed. “So, how often do you get to see your family?”

Sussuro’s expression instantly fell. Ears wilting, tail drooping. She sniffled, and I saw tears in her eyes. “I…don’t. They will write me, send me pictures, but…but they refuse to see me. I’m Infected. I’ve been effectively banished. They don’t want me to see my sister, and my brothers are married with children. They don’t want to risk infection. It’s stupid, but…what can I do?”

“What!? Are you fucking serious!? That’s horrible!” I gasped. 

She tried to smile, but I could tell this was painful. “It’s fine, I still talk to them, so it’s not like I don’t get to stay in touch, it’s just…I don’t know that I’ll ever get to hug my sister again.”

“Lucia, I…I’m so sorry,” I said, reaching out to take her hand. 

She shrugged. “It’s not like you. You’ll never see your family again in all likelihood. Is it just the one brother, Michael?”

“I…yeah.” I let her change the topic, and our food came, so we talked for a bit about food culture around Terra, me mostly listening as Sussurro explained. The food was pretty good, not the best tacos I’d ever had, but not bad. 

After dinner, Sussurro took me to an arcade called Poly Vision, where we played Fountain War and Hookmaster. After that, it was getting late, so I walked her back to her room, which wasn’t too far from my own. 

“Thanks, I had fun tonight,” I said, pausing by her door. “Next time, it’s my treat.”

“I’ll hold you too that,” Sussurro said, looking up at me and pausing in the doorway. We stood like that for a bit too long. Both of us were more than a little tipsy after the bottle of wine, and a part of me thought she was waiting for a kiss. At last, I waved goodbye, said goodnight, and headed back to my room to pass out. Kal’tsit was just getting into my head. There was no shot. 

Best not to screw up the few good relationships I had in this hellscape.