This Goddess Must Be Crazy: Finale

Once more, Izuku found himself in the Divine Realm. This time, he was standing side by side with Mei, holding her hand, along with all their friends. Aqua was at the front with Eris, along with a blonde goddess that Izuku recognized from paintings back in Konigreich. Before them were an assembled council of gods, most of which Izuku didn’t recognize at all, though he did wonder why Doraemon was there. 

Next to Aqua stood Tanya, dressed in a military uniform in gray, with the kanji for “horror” written in white on a crimson armband. 

“Tanya von Degurachaff,” King Kai said in his nasally voice, though his tone was serious. “By right of succession, you have been named as the new God of Horror. Your previous division head caused us a great deal of trouble. Do you intend to continue his policies?”

Tanya stepped forward, then motioned to Visha, who hurried forward with a truly enormous mountain of paperwork that came up to her chin from her waist clutched in her hands. “I have only had a brief time to go over my predecessor's documents, but I find them deplorably lacking. It will take some time to do a full audit, but I have already found several severe breaches of the Divine Ordinances, especially Ordinance 25.7E, Use of Subjects Outside of Genre Conventions. As such, I would like to issue a formal apology to the Comedy Division. We can discuss compensatory remuneration once both of our representatives have completed a full investigation. We will, of course, also submit to binding arbitration from a neutral third party appointed by this body.”

“That sounds boring as hell. Can’t we just agree to play nice and they owe us big time?” Haruhi muttered, only for Agent Smith to elbow her. “Ow! Knock it off, Kyon!” 

“Does every idiot goddess need a minder to keep them from getting in too much trouble?” Kazuma muttered, giving Kyon a sympathetic look. 

“I think we can find an arbiter. Perhaps Arceus of the Mon Division?” King Kai proposed, and Haruhi and Tanya both readily agreed. 

“Now, due to the mixing of Genres, I think we must see to it that our own people are put back in their proper worlds, with no more of this crossover nonsense,” King Kai said, rapping his hammer.

“Wait, does that mean-” Bakugo began, but King Kai cut him off. 

“That means all of the Shonen Heroes back in my worlds, the Comedy Clowns back in Haruhi’s-”

“Who you callin’ a clown, Mr. Lame puns!?” Kazuma demanded hotly. 

“And the Monsters of Horror back in their worlds,” King Kai finished. “With no further blending of the genres.”

“If you think you can keep us apart, you have another thing coming,” Iris snarled, baring her sword. “I love Bakugo! You cannot think to keep us apart!” 

“If anyone protests, we can always mind wipe them,” Tanya said seriously, which earned her a snarl of rage from Dark Shadow, who hovered over her menacingly.

“You can’t force my friends apart! We went through hell together, and defeated the Lord of the Tomb!” Aqua protested. “It’s not right!”

“I agree,” Eris said, nodding and raising a fist. “It’s not the mortals' fault the gods screwed up! Now some of them have fallen in love! You can’t just rip them apart after all they’ve gone through. What kind of ending is that!?”

“Yeah, Chief, you agree, right?” Aqua said desperately. 

Haruhi, however, shrugged. “Maybe we can get something in arbitration.” Then she winked. “Or you can shut up and listen for a few minutes.”

“I’ll show you ripping people apart,” Bakugo snarled, his fingers popping with explosions. 

“Hold on, I think they’re up to something,” Izuku whispered, putting a hand on Bakugo’s shoulder. “You know Aqua wouldn’t let them take her away from her friends.”

“There is one other thing before the Council of Genres,” King Kai said, looking over his notes. “It seems an old genre is growing in popularity with the mortals, and an increasing number of stories feature in this unique genre. As such, we need to appoint a new God for this Division.” 

There were mutters of agreement, along with, “This other world stuff is out of control,” and “Send those horny idiots off to their own gated division.”

“We need someone with experience in other worlds, and in blending genres, as this new Division will be doing,” Haruhi pointed out. “Someone who knows what it’s like to find yourself in another world.”

“They will have to bring together multiple worlds and be adept at choosing interesting heroes, as well as guiding them to success,” King Kai mused. 

Aqua suddenly brightened, raising her hand. “Ooo, ooo, me, pick me! I know all about leading heroes from other worlds!” 

“Oh yes, I’m sure putting you in charge of an entire division would just go swimmingly,” Ristarte muttered under her breath.

“I agree,” Haruhi said to King Kai. “And I know just the goddess from my Division for the job.”

Aqua puffed out her chest proudly, and winked at Bakugo and Iris. “See? You won’t have to be split up anyway! When I have my own division, we’ll have parties together every day, and no one has to leave their friends forever! We’ll all drink together, and-”

“Agreed. Eris, of the Comedy division, step forth,” King Kai said. 

Aqua’s jaw just about hit the floor in shock, as Kazuma started cackling with laughter. Izuku had to put a hand over his own mouth to stifle a giggle himself. For her part, Eris looked nearly as flummoxed as Aqua. 

“M-me? Don’t you, ah, don’t you mean my senpai instead?” Eris asked nervously, indicating the stunned Aqua.

Recovering quickly, Aqua straightened up and nodded. “Of course! As the Senior Goddess, I should be the one to head the new division!”

“Yeaaaaah,” Haruhi said, stretching, then shook her head. “Absolutely not.”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN ABSOLUTELY NOT?! HUH!?” Aqua ranted, shaking her fist at Haruhi as Eris and Ristarte restrained her. 

“Because we’ve seen what the Axis Cult is like, and I overruled Haruhi when she wanted to appoint you as the head of the Isekai Division,” King Kai said, shaking his head. “The Eris Church is much more orderly and sensible. She would make a much better division head.”

Aqua spluttered and blurted out, “But, but she-”

“I swear to me, if the next words out of your mouth rhyme with ‘lads per best,’ you will never drink bubbly again,” Eris hissed in Aqua’s ear. 

“I-I was going to say, um, she’s younger than me,” Aqua said, flinching slightly from Eris’ menacing glare. 

“You’ll still be a Senior Goddess in the new Division. You’ll just be working under Eris now,” Haruhi said with a shrug. “Sorry. I guess one endless goofball in the Pantheon of Genres was too much.” 

“I…” Eris swallowed, then glanced over at Aqua, who pouted a bit more. Finally, her senior sighed and gave Eris a thumbs up. 

“Being in charge of everything sounds like more work and meetings anyway. I guess as long as it’s you, it’s fine.” 

Tearing up, Eris flung her arms around Aqua’s neck. “Thank you! I promise I’ll be the best Chief Goddess ever!” 

“You’ll get a full briefing on which worlds will be your divisions after we sort it all out, but you’ll start with the Former Shonen world of MHA-Fork 1A, and what we’re calling the ‘Isekai Quartet’ worlds. Even though there’s six of them,” King Kai said. 

“But for now, let’s welcome the new Isekai Division, and their Chief Goddess, Eris!” Haruhi said, pulling out some party favors. “It’s time to CELEBRATE!” 

“Not just yet,” King Kai said firmly. “First, we send the mortals back to their own worlds. You remember what happened the last time we let regular mortals attend a divine party.”

“Ugh, spoilsport,” Haruhi grumbled. She snapped her fingers and shook her head. “Right, Eris, you see to your division and get everyone sorted out. THEN WE PARTY!” 

Eris turned around, with the sulking Aqua at her side. “Um, Rista, are you…?”

“I’m sticking around long enough to help you sort the current mess out, then I’m incarnating with Seiya for a lifetime. Hopefully, he chills out a little with a mortal life. You would not believe the level of overly cautious nonsense he gets up to these days,” Ristarte sighed, rubbing her forehead. 

“Right, well, I guess I’ll need to recruit some new gods and goddesses,” Eris sighed. She clapped her hands. “Well, first things first. For now, I’m sending everyone back to UA in Japan to help with the cleanup. We’ll sort out who belongs in which world later, and what we have to do to restore them all. The biggest job will be sorting out Nazerick’s world, and the ones they invaded. But together, we can do it!” 

Izuku reached out, putting an arm around Aqua. “It’s OK, you’ll still be the best goddess in my book, Aqua. You defeated the Lord of the Tomb, and saved all our worlds.”

“And I’m cuter than Eris, right?” Aqua sniffled, leaning into Izuku.

“Um, well,” Izuku’s man scrambled about in panic, and landed on, “W-well, in my book, Mei is the cutest!” 

“Hmph,” Aqua grumbled, puffing out her cheeks in annoyance. 

“Just think, with Eris kicked upstairs and the danger finally over, you’ll be able to grow the Axis Cult and everyone will want to buy you a bubbly,” Kazuma pointed out, which instantly cheered Aqua up considerably. 

“Hey! That’s right! Come on, everyone, let’s get back to Japan and get to work rebuilding!” Aqua said brightly, her tears forgotten. 

“I’ll join you soon, once I figure out what all is going on,” Eris promised. A glowing circle formed around everyone, and Eris grinned. “We really did it! Congratulations, heroes, you saved the world!”

“Hey, what about our wish?! Don’t we get a wish!” Kazuma demanded. 

“You’d just wish for something stupid and perverted again,” Megumin told him. “Just be grateful they’re not sending us off to fight another horror or whatever.”

There was a flash of light, and then they were back in Tokyo. Izuku looked around at the battle damage, and swallowed. Then he felt Mei take his hand. 

“It’s alright, Izuku. Together, we’ll fix this, then we’ll make the cutest babies ever together!” 

Izuku nodded, smiling despite the destruction. “Yeah. I can’t wait to see what you invent next, Mei.”

“That too,” she agreed, then skipped off, humming to herself and leaving the flabbergasted Izuku behind her. Then he shook himself, laughed, and sprang off to find All Might and help with the rebuilding. 

Some months later, everyone sat around a large table, laden with food in the UA cafeteria. The building had been completely restored after the battle, along with all of Tokyo. There were still various rebuilding projects throughout the world, and full recovery efforts would take several more years. 

However, in a miraculous display, Aqua, Eris, and Ristarte had worked together to revive all of those slain in the Tomb’s final assault. While many still had to recover from injuries, the heroes of the world had united in the restoration efforts. Since All For One and the League of Villains had been utterly annihilated in the attack, Japan’s future was looking brighter and more peaceful than ever. 

“Friends, students, staff, and guests from other worlds, thank you all for attending our Victory Banquet!” Principal Nezu said, standing atop the table and raising his cup. There were cheers and applause from those assembled, with plenty of glasses raised in toast. 

“It’s been a long hard road to get here, but I was present for but a short part of it,” Nezu said, nodding to the students. “As such, I leave further remarks to our beloved Chief Goddess, Eris!”

There was thunderous applause this time, though Aqua looked like she had sucked on a lemon as she golf-clapped. Even after a few months, it was still a sore spot that her junior had been promoted over her. 

Even if everyone else universally agreed that Aqua in charge of an entire divine division would be an absolute disaster. 

Eris, looking more like Chris than the goddess, stood up from her spot next to Nezu and grinned, raising her goblet. “It’s been a hard road! But with some hard work and a mountain of luck, we prevailed! I’d like to announce that the very first former slaves from Nazerick have been resettled on Belzerg!” 

More cheers for that one, and Eris smiled, then looked somber, raising a hand for silence that quickly fell. “It’s going to be a long road ahead. This Earth has mostly recovered. But there are hundreds of worlds that are still in dire peril. As the new Division Chief of Isekai, it’s up to me to find worthy heroes to go and save those worlds. A task I don’t think will ever be fully accomplished.”

“We’re here if you need us,” Izuku said earnestly, and many others voiced their agreement. 

Eris smiled, but shook her head. “You’ve already saved one world. It’s time for other heroes to rise to the challenge. Besides, you still have work to do here. But one day, I might just need some new heroes to be reborn in another world!” 

“Just as long as we can be reborn together,” Mei said, squeezing Izuku’s hand. “I would not want to go to a strange world alone.”

“Meh, what’s your retirement package? I feel like after saving…however many worlds I’m up to, I deserve a vacation,” Kazuma said. 

Megumin poked him in the stomach. “Oh shut up. You’d be bored within a month and demanding to go on another adventure. And if you weren’t, I would drag you to one!” 

“You can consider the 200 years you spent mooching off Aqua in the Divine Realm your vacation time. You’ll need to put in some work to earn another veg session like that!” Eris said with a wink, which made Kazuma groan. 

“As long as I can continue to work to restore Belzerg in this life, I will gladly continue to serve you in the next,” Darkness said, putting a hand to her breast. 

“And I as well,” Tokoyami agreed. 

“Ah, that does bring up where you’ll all end up,” Eris said, peering into her goblet. Everyone suddenly held their breath.

Then Eris laughed and looked up, winking at them. “You’ll all be able to choose your world of primary residence, and you’ll get to visit on occasion! At least once a year, we’ll all get together again and have a Victory Day feast, just like this one! I can’t promise constant easy and free access to other worlds, they’re cracking down on that, but I can justify a yearly meet up. So even if you choose to live on another world, this won’t be goodbye forever!” 

“Now, let’s all eat this delicious food, and party like we’ve just saved the world!” Eris declared, and downed her drink. 

The food itself was a mix of traditional Japanese dishes, Belzergine cuisine, and even food from Konigreich. Count Bloise and other dignitaries from that world were present, having been summoned in the hour of need by Ristarte to finally put down the forces of the Tomb once and for all. 

“So, I guess it’s back to Belzerg for us?” Kazuma asked Megumin.

She nodded vigorously. “I have to help Yunyun and the remaining Crimson Demons rebuild our Clan! You’re going to help with that too, so don’t think you can just laze about the house all day!” 

“I shall be your companion once more, it seems,” Tsukoyomi said with a nod. “Dark Shadow and I will be emigrating to Belzerg to remain with Darkness. My parents are upset, but I am not the first young man to forsake the place of his birth in pursuit of justice.”

“And Darkness’ boobs!” Dark Shadow squawked, earning himself a glare from Tsukoyomi and a blush from Darkness. 

“I’ll talk to my parents, but I think if Eris lets us, we might join you,” Uraraka said, which prompted a few startled looks.

“Really? You’d leave Japan?” Izuku asked. “But you don’t have someone waiting for you in Belzerg.”

“No, but remember, my folks run a construction business. I talked with Iris, and they’re going to need a lot of people who know about putting up buildings as they rebuild the kingdom. Plus, Magic is pretty neat! I want to keep studying it and learning new spells, and finding ways to combine them with my quirk! And it’s not like I’d never see Japan again, or that I’m moving somewhere I don’t know anyone.”

“And I guess if you really don’t like it, you could always move back,” Izuku mused. 

Mei looked about the table uncertainly, then said in a small voice, “Izuku, should we move to Belzerg?”

He blinked at the question, then considered it for a moment. “Do you want to move to Belzerg?”

“No, I want to stay with you. I want to know if you are moving to Belzerg,” Mei said firmly.

“I don’t plan on it, even if I will miss all our friends. We’ll see them again. But my mom,  your family, All Might…they’re all staying here.”

“Is All Might staying here? Since, you know,” Kazuma nodded to where the boisterous hero was sitting and laughing with Wiz. The two of them looked quietly content, and Wiz was talking animatedly of the new snack flavors she wanted to carry at her store, imported from other worlds (and of extremely questionable tastiness). 

“Yeah, Wiz has mentioned she wants to start over with All Might here in Japan. She’s even registered as the Frost Witch, a professional Hero with his agency. Even if she mostly runs her little corner store,” Izuku confirmed. 

“That means Vanir is staying too. I think that demon will be bound to her forever if he hopes to turn a profit,” Uraraka said with a snort. “They could really use some of my frugal living tips.”

“That’ll be hard, since Wiz is pregnant,” Kazuma commented, which caused the others to all turn and look at him wildly. “What? She called Aqua and started gushing about it two weeks ago when she found out. Aqua can’t keep a secret worth a damn, so I’m surprised all of you don’t know already too.”

“I knew,” Megumin said smugly. “Kazuma told me. Though I think perhaps we should wait a little longer to start a family ourselves. At least until the Village is rebuilt.”

“Yeah, let’s wait on that too,” Izuku said, giving Mei a pained smile. 

Darkness shot Tsukoyomi a look, and Dark Shadow rubbed his hands together eagerly as Tokoyami blushed. “Uh, very wise of you.”

“I know Bakugo’s going to move into Belzerg, the prick,” Kazuma muttered. “Couldn’t he just stay here?” 

“He’s not that bad,” Uraraka said, earning her a glare from Kazuma and a shrug from Megumin. 

“I’ll miss Kachan,” Izuku said wistfully. 

“I won’t,” Mei stated bluntly. “He’s still a jerk.”

“Yunyun says Sero will be coming with her,” Darkness put in. “I’m glad, his skills will be useful in subduing the remaining monsters and restoring the kingdom.”

“Mineta is leaving too. Something about helping Felt become queen,” Tokoyami added. 

“Huh. Well, good luck to him then. Seems like a good dude,” Kazuma said, earning him looks of utter disbelief from all the girls at the table.

“You would like that little perv and not Bakugo,” Megumin said with a roll of her eyes. 

“Well, I suppose Mei and I will see you all in a year's time,” Izuku said, raising his glass. “To Victory, and the future!”

“And to our friends!” Mei agreed. “May we all make super cute babies!” 

“Cheers!” Everyone shouted, and clinked glasses. They had all saved the world together, thanks to each other, and a certain crazy goddess. But the future lay ahead of them, even if upon separate paths. 

Author’s Note: 

It’s been quite a journey. It took four long years for this story to reach a conclusion, and hopefully a lot of laughs were had along the way. This story was an overly ambitious mess, but I hope that it was still fun. A special thank you to my beta readers Dr_Feelgood, The Grand Cogitator, and Philosophysics. They helped make this story a lot more readable and coherent. I’d also like to extend a special thank you to John Gart on patreon, who supports my writing and helped keep me motivated even when I felt like I’d written myself into a corner. 

And to you, dear reader. Thanks for seeing this one through to the end.