Heaven's Laws - Lifestone - Chapter 44 - part A

They returned to the sixth floor of the Divine Spire in their own little quiet corner of the world. They’d both wished to be the ones to catch the murderer, murderers in this case, and now they both regretted the circumstances in which it had happened.

Neither one of them had spoken since they arrived. They sat facing each other. Chao didn’t seem to notice her presence and Huifen was lost in her own thoughts as well. She looked at the sleeves of her orange gown and noticed there were some splotches of blood that she’d missed. She should change but couldn’t find the motivation to move.

“Thank you,” he said, pulling her attention. “I know you must be angry, but you held off all this time.”

“I’ve just done my duty as your wife.”

He bowed where he sat. When her ice qi blew in his face, the traces of a grin appeared at the corners of his mouth but was gone just as quickly.

“I know I’m a hypocrite,” he continued. “All the times I’ve spoken to you of mercy and encouraged you to pursue it… I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I must ask for it.”

She should be quick to accept his apology. He was in a sensitive state and there would be a time to discuss his failings at length. She wasn’t sure if now was the time. She decided to at least start the conversation. She’d stop if things became untenable.

“Just answer me this, Chao. What’s changed? When you retrieved my virgin Yin from Prince Jin, faced off with Sage Ping, and were nearly sexually assaulted yourself by Dvora of the Night Pearl Sect you handled yourself with restraint. But as soon as Daiyu is murdered—Eu-meh is injured—you lose all control.” She didn’t use an accusatory tone, but as soon as she saw the contortion of her husband’s face, she knew he’d taken it that way.

“I don’t feel for her in that way, Huifen,” he growled. “Is that what you think? I’m secretly in love with Eu-meh and did this in some fit of rage for what happened to her?”

Closing her eyes, she softened her tone as much as she could given the situation and her own unease. “No. I swear that that’s not what I meant. I mean the question in as literal a manner as possible. What’s different this time?”

He deflated. “Sorry. I’m sorry, My Huifen.” His eyes were glassy as he searched everything for the answer except for her face. “What’s changed? Nothing has changed. That’s the problem. I wasn’t there when you needed me. And once again, the people I care for, who I’m meant to protect, were harmed and I was too late.”

Her smiled had come a long way in the last couple years. She wore one now to show him just how appreciative she was. “Chao, you retrieved my virgin Yin—something no one else could do.”

“I didn’t save you,” he shouted her down. “I retrieved a natural treasure. As precious to you as it is, and as thankful for it as I am, it’s just a resource. It’s not you. I saw what you went through, Huifen. I know what that did to you. And isn’t that why I’m here? Isn’t that why you’d dared to marry me? Because you’re convinced I can stop it from happening again.”

She created a little water in the back of her throat that allowed her to shallow. She too understood what it was like to feel powerless. How couldn’t she after seeing her friend Daiyu dead? In that she could sympathize, but to say that she only married him because he was capable of protecting her. He was going too far. “Is that what you think of me? That I just wanted you because you had strength?”

“Of course not, but it was the deciding factor.”

She felt her nostrils flare. The worst part was she knew he was right. The ice fairy she’d been two years before wouldn’t have even taken offense. Other things would’ve have mattered, like loyalty to her and her sect, but she never would’ve married unless she knew her husband had immense martial might. Even if she knew dual cultivation’s benefit.

She thought back to how they’d ended up together. She’d developed feelings for him before her assault, but it was only after he’d shown what he was capable of that she’d considered him a possible partner. And why was she taking what he said personally? After what had just happened, he had to be an emotional mess. He’d once kept his mouth shut for weeks as she verbally berated him. The least she could do was return the favor.

Then his countenance changed, and he shook his head at himself. “I’m sorry, Huifen. You just lost your good friend and I’m taking out my problems on you.”

Holding up a hand, she replied, “Don’t. There will be a time to grieve, but what’s going on with you is more pressing. Forgive me. Mother Sya warned me that if I scorn your honesty when you open up then you may never do so again. I’m heartbroken over losing my friend, but not so much I’d abandon my husband when he needs me the most. I want to be there for you. I’m here.”

He seemed to pull strength from an unknown source and was smiling the next moment. “I know you care for more than just my martial prowess,” he said with a chuckle. “I’m also very handsome.”

She felt annoyed but playfully rolled her eyes at his untimely joke.

“I didn’t mean to imply you only cared about strength, Huifen. It’s an essential part of what’s required of me. That’s all. And to have it and not be able to use it when it’s needed the most? There’s something very wrong with this world. With the realms—the lower and the Divine. There’s so much strength to be had, and yet it’s not enough to even dissuade a couple crazed asura cultivators from harming as many people as possible as they self-destruct. I wanted to be merciful, Huifen, but it never felt that wrong before.”

He reached out in the space before him like he was about to ring someone’s neck. “So I took the only avenue left for me. I tried to be just. But…”

She thought he was finished so she reached out to touch his hand.

Suddenly, his fists clenched tighter, and his eyes became distant. “I couldn’t pay him back. He died too quickly. What amount of untold pain did those two let loose on this world? I told you I was capable of this, Huifen. That there would be a day that I might not be able to hold back.

“I’ve failed in my purpose to protect my friends, to protect you, and now I’ve failed to live up to my own standard. I’ve disappointed you. I haven’t kept my word. You have every right to be angry Huifen. To despise me.”

“I’m not angry, Chao.”

She waited for him to comprehend what she’d said and look at her before she continued. “If anything, I’m jealous.”

He looked at her with deathly concern.

“There are few things in the last year that I’ve wanted more than to pull Jilpa and Prince Jin out of their graves. To spend a great sum of time and effort inventing ways to punish them. Should I be angry with you? Maybe, but I can’t bring myself do so. You were the light to help pull me out of that darkness. If you found no avenue for mercy, then who am I to say you were wrong?

“Though I will say this. There is no justice in his world. We stop corruption where we can and that’s as far as it goes. You couldn’t have hurt him bad enough to make up for the least of his sins.”

Chao seemed to calm a little with her words and they sat there in silence.

There was one more thing he needed to hear. “You’re wrong about one thing.”

“Mmm?”

“You weren’t too late this time. If it wasn’t for you, three fairies would’ve died. They’re alive because of you.”

“Yes,” he said, giving her a menacing grin. “And what I did next left them so terrified they couldn’t gather the courage to leave the room.” His expression melted.

“Your wrong,” she replied. “What did you say of Li Qiang? They’re cultivators, Chao. They were frightened, sure, but you’d also just saved them form a certain end. Even mortals lust for vengeance. Don’t think for a moment that there wasn’t part of them that wanted to offer to help but was too embarrassed to do so because they knew there was nothing they could do better. You’re right. I didn’t think you were capable of what you did, but, now that I know, I’m just as sure any man or woman would do the same under the right circumstances.

“Being at the top of the world and looking down doesn’t come naturally. There’s no guide to tell us when and how to act. There’s freedom to such power, but the responsibility…”

He began to nod and the wistful look she’d grown so accustomed to from him proved she’d lightened his mood, for now.

“What do we do now?” He asked.

She was wondering that same thing. Seeing him so deep in thought, she realized that answer could come later. She knew what he’d appreciate even if she wasn’t in the mood. Crawling forward, she slipped passed his defensive and kissed him on the mouth. “Now, give your wife your full attention.” She pulled back, undoing a button and slipping her robes off one shoulder. She was rather uncomfortable being the initiator, but her Chao needed his wife.

---

I'm going to go over part b again tonight after I've had some time away from the screen. Should be posted then.