Farewell
Added 2025-01-12 21:33:44 +0000 UTCTL;DR
I will stop drawing & posting & working on the comic on Patreon, Social Media, comic Apps like Webtoon, Tapas, etc, to take a mental health break.
I deactivated my personal twitter account
This hiatus may be short, maybe until a completely different era of my life, maybe forever. I can't say anything yet.
The Patreon tiers all dissolved; Y'all should be un-pledged, and re-pledging is super optional.
I promise the ELK tier Goodie Mail for 2024 will still be sent ONE DAY right after I can do it, but I will not offer that kind of gift mailing in the future again.
Hello guys! My beloved Penguins & Deers! <3
I knew this announcement was coming for a while, but I struggled to find the right words. So much fear and intense unwellness kept me from even opening the program to type this down until now, but it has to go out now. I'm including the essential reasons and details:
So the situation is: I am unable to work. Not in any employment form (even though this whole saga might end up with me having to look for a day job one day, to un-learn my fear of humans and see some competences in me?) and sadly, also not in what I deemed my "dream job." Making Comics is not just drawing; many tasks are challenging for a healthy one-person show with a sound support system. But I have neither. I am sadly the most unsuited person for this job and lifestlye.
I always thought, "I can't ever quit comics/art because my love for my stories and characters will always drive me." That my creativity, my talent, whatever?? would always rescue me from giving up. But the reality is, I have experienced it often enough already that the stressors surrounding a project paralyze me too much to even continue it without major meltdowns. There is no raw willpower or anything left to glue anything back together.
When I was burning hot for something, I was productive. Some said, amazingly fast and in a good flow. But there is a reason everything that is not a short story is not finished or got rebooted. "Goldfisch" is the one exception, but I also had a significant crisis during that project, and if it weren't for a publisher's contract, I would probably not have finished that either, cause I just cried and suffered through making it and don't even wanna see anything about it anymore. Like, most things I did, I can't even feel relieved or proud about. It makes me so, so sad that this is my legacy: A bunch of scattered comic bits and the reputation to never finish anything. Believe me, it's not because I'm simply bored or lack discipline, I just can't.
As my psychiatrist puts it, "I don't believe your passion and creativity are gone, but you are simply still too sick."
I can only give this quote as a means of hope that I can recover and return cause listening to my own beliefs does not see that. It's funny, cause all of these health providers are talking of "later" and "when you feel better", and this time simply never comes, and I wanna scream in their faces: "NOTHING CAN SAVE ME, why do you try to give me this fake ass hope"
I was just in a mental hospital precisely one year ago. I forced myself to believe, "That must be enough; you need to get back up in 2024; it is the year to catch up". I even took it easy, like everyone told me to. I did not expect too much from me. But I couldn't even do the LITTLE. I just suffered. I cannot do anything. Everything failed.
Then everyone is telling me that what I'm doing is no "real rest." All the time I wasted trying and stressing.
I really had a tiny bit of hope getting released from the ward last time. But everything got downhill from bad. The antidepressant I got sedated me for most of the day. I slept 16 hours, and when awake, I was still too apathetic to draw or think; the acne medication I needed (for my hopeless acne that made me even more depressed) also made my mood and tiredness worse. My muscles and joints hurt for 7 months, very severely, and sadly, after stopping the medication, I am still in so much physical pain and stiffness that I can't even be relieved about a bit better skin. The social anxiety does not even care how I look to be disgusted for others by myself.
I cannot continue to draw on my Cintiq or even type much cause I can't lift my arm. I tried to brute force through it with a daily drawing challenge in December but then spent Christmas on the floor sobbing, cause I really might have damaged something in my arm to be in so much pain, even when I holdit still, and it still does hurt until now. Why don't I see a doctor? Anxiety & depression as well ...
Also, Family issues fucked me more than I thought. Especially with my mother (her Alzheimer's diagnosis, how everything is only about her) and her toxicity, which reached my breaking point and childhood emotions I could not cope well with. She does not care, she does not understand, that threating me with HER suicide since ever but refusing help, makes me not only helpless but also extra worthless. You don't even wanna be in my life?? While I try so hard to please you? But I need to keep my smile together to not stress anyone out while breaking apart more and more? I am trying to go no contact rn, but again, I am feeling sick to my stomach and guilty about that, even if it feels like I need to save my life first.
Anxiety about my (lack of) income grew obviously too, cause AI yadda-yadda, there's no more prominent social media platform where I would feel comfortable showing my shit, cause what am I but a negativity-canon?? and the feeling like every mutual abandoned me (good for them tho) cause I'm repeating myself and am beyond help.
Generally growing very paranoid and fearful of everything.
Last time, Tapas tried to sneak me into a scummy continuation contract I'm not okay with, webtoon decreased monetization options a lot (not news), I am too scared to sell on conventions, and the thing I tried to do this year, set up my online store, also didn't work, because I'm just ... not able to do anything. Overwhelmed in every apect.
And worst, I can't even draw. Too depressed, too anxious, my brain telling me that it's too bad to be made, I messed up too much anyway, I cannot concentrate, I am too slow to get anywhere, what a horrible person I am, and it's displayed in the content, that I cannot afford to pour my heart into any art or story cause people are out to get me and shredder my love and personality to pieces and I cannot survive the grief.
I know I'm too sensitive, but 2-3 comments from idiots years ago still make me want to vanish from the Earth, and I don't know how to tell myself that I can regain confidence and stability and overlook actors of bad faith.
My old therapist suggested never engaging with my readers at all if it makes me so vulnerable, but... I'm even scared of that; how ungrateful and delusional, and what a wrong turn this could take. Imagine selling books and not even knowing a little bit if people feel scammed and betrayed.
Like, I wanna make people happy and entertain them and connect. But right now, I feel isolated and lonely and don't trust myself. Ialsodeactivated my ramble twitter because of that. I just don't know how to do it; I'm so desperate and ashamed and guilty, I cannot take it.
In autumn, when my primary therapy ended after about 3 years, my healthcare provider promised to get me a disability assistant cause I qualified for that aid program with household organization, crisis intervention, and social strengthening because of the severity of my dysfunction.
But they kinda left me hanging for way longer than announced, and now they told me they don't know when a worker will be free. There was a lot of trust damage with different people done recently and feeling forgotten throws me into hella loop ... So the short "therapist unsupervised" period of a few months made everything a lot worse for me as well.
I mostly spiral on my private Twitter like the immature child that I am, where mostly no one reacts, cause I know no one can handle my unfiltered thoughts anyway, even tough people tell me "talk to me directly". But I can't. I keep it together as good as I can, cause if I bombard someone with how broken I really am... I don'tknow how good should come from that. The anticipation of being rejected in need is not worth risking it for me. I wish I could connect in need, I wish I could channel suicidal thoughts better, but it's just always messy.
But so because of a well-fare-check, about my texts, a friend of mine called in, the police were at my place last week, and cause I didn't pass the "you're not a danger to yourself?' check, they brought me to the next closed psych ward, which was a very, very bad place.
I feel like I have even more touch-aversion and trust issues now.
Thankfully I was allowed to go on the second day ... But they increased the anxiety medication my psychiatrist gave me anyway. Which calms me down a bit when I'm about to lose my mind, but I'm also drowsy and walk like a drunk person; I talk and think very slowly and never know where anything is. Rn there is not even thinking of drawing a comic.
There is just general confusion in me, so please keep that in mind for this text, as I make even less sense when I talk when distressed.
Anyway, for now, I'll be back in in-house psychiatric units. Hopefully, I will be going through several switches, depending on availability and my own stability. But according to the information, it's gonna be longer than my other clinic stays, which were about two months each. But I'm scared ... That it's the worng decision again, that it won't help. That I'm just stuck somewhere and losing my mind, with no way out.
So ... obviously, that means it's kinda over.
I mean, with posting stuff for you, and we know that I did a horrible job at that anyway the past year. I'm just so sorry and sad about that.
But on the other hand, it's the only chance to ever get back to a spot where I can draw a bit. Cause I'm so over it rn, that my other option is worse, and never return, so trying is the better option (depending on how much one dislikes me ...) I guess it's a delusion, but I always feeel some people cheering for my actual death, cause they think it's what I deserve for being such a pussy, who can't even draw a fucking POPULAR comic without constant breakdowns.
Okay, sorry, I need to get to the point.
Cause what I actually wanted to say is:
Right now, I don't wanna draw anymore at all. Thatis so sad and scary to me, I'm just empty inside. I don't wanna do anything, I give up. I'm tired,
I cannot do it anymore.
This is not funny to say for me; it feels like I'm ripped apart, and I'm bawling right now that I have to abandon my stories and characters. Not for the first time, but for the first time with uncertainty about whether I can even come back. I hope so. I wish so much??? But I cannot listen to my gut. It's just despair.
I cannot give a time, a place; I just can say I need to be gone for a chance to see you again.
What will happen?
It would be the fairest thing to delete or pause my Patreon. I know that.
After allof this, I still need to be greedy, and I also feel guilty for that.
Pls keep in mind that I have been on "unpaid sick leave" for almost 2 years now.
Patreon is my only income, and if I'm also broke-broke, the mental recovery will get even more complex.
But also, please don't feel obliged to stay when you know there will probably not be much in return. Occasionally I might post something?? But who knows? Probably, maybe not.
Actually, I have started so many sketches and stuff for Crush3d!! crumbs, I started nsfw artwork sketches, but I simply could not get ANYTHING to a coherent look, so I could post it. Even more frustrating waste of energy, for nothing to see the light of day.
I also don't have the time and focus to re-organize tiers by hand. So I will try to make something easy, where I just delete all the tier levels, meaning you get
kicked out, and if, for some crazy hope in your heart, you still wanna support me and wait for me to come back (that I cannot promise), you can re-pledge any (little) amount. And I made all the posts avlaible for members, I think.
What happens to Elk tier/ goodie Mail?
So ... the goodie Mail for 2024 is still due. everyone who
qualified for it is on the beneficial list, even if I never do anything else again. I will try to care for that when I can and recover some essential stability. Please be patient with me. I will try to send you (maybe just one) a really special gift. I wanna try to get a plush or doll or fancy Standee something produced, but IDK if possible yet T_T. Not with my state of mind anyway.
But also, this will be the last goodie mail ever, no matter if I return to Patreon or not. Handling these got harder and harder for me, and I felt just like finishing the mailings from LAST year when, suddenly, the latest year was due again. I can't take it anymore. I wish it was easier, but I'm just crying over the stress, it's too hard for me.
So, and lastly, thank you. I know this was a confusing, whiney post; I don't even know if I was able to say what I wanted. I'm really....on drugs and messed up rn, but this is my last chance to write this. I spent the half day on it and lost sense
Thank you, thank you. I will never forget your niceness and generosity.
Thank you so so much for all the years of support, for believing in me when I could not, and for...just reading my stuff or leaving comments. It meant the world to me. I still caan't beleive when someone tells me, something I did touched them profoundly, changed them, or helped them or something.
Man I really wish I was healthier ... to really continue that? to get somewhere? Crying crying crying, But I hope no one is dragged down by this. Please be better, forget me or something, I am sorry for disappointing you, and I am sorry for making you angry or annoyed cause I can't deliver what's normal for others, I wish I was different.
good bye or farewell.
Comments
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1-azDBCQRd_xK-JTqK6RLVmw5UWkw0T1L you can find that here :-) (for now, because in the future I need to sort my files and the whole Patreon once more)
Yaa
2025-09-15 10:13:02 +0000 UTCHello, i hope you are doing better in your mental health, but i was wondering if anyone knew how to get the old crush comic. I read it when i was younger many times and i would love to revisit.
Golden Bells
2025-09-15 03:46:10 +0000 UTCThank you for being with us. My partner and I have been following your work since the ~2016/2018 era. You've inspired me to keep going when shit gets rough. Your work has met me and become the brightest points of my darkest days. Your words came across clearly and I understand too well some of what you are experiencing. I wish you the best in your future. May you grow and heal in the time to come. Even if you do not return to your art, I will continue to cherish both you and your work. We wish you brighter days ahead. I wish there was more I could do for you. Blessed be the air you breathe and the ground beneath your feet.
Maxim Reeves
2025-03-13 22:21:10 +0000 UTCI hope things will get better for you. I haven't been here before in your Patreon and I hope it's okay for me to write this: Thank you very much for having created Yava Bonds. I've read it recently through friends and wanted to come here to tell you that it really helped me a lot to understand a friend of mine better who struggles with similar issues. And to hopefully be a better support for them in future. It's such a brave and impactful story to draw. It has opened my eyes and taught me so much. It will have a place in my heart for a very long time if not for my whole life. I'll leave one or two months of my pledge as a way of one-time tip and hope it helps a bit.
fluffyfied
2025-03-09 11:04:11 +0000 UTCThrough your characters, I see you, and I identify with it.
wowwie
2025-03-02 16:52:21 +0000 UTCIch weiß, dass ich mega spät reinkomme, aber trotzdem möchte ich dir auch sagen, wir viel du mir mit deiner Kunst und deinen Geschickten geholfen hast. Maybe i was to young to start reading them but I fell in love with the vibrant charakters and your stories. You inspired me to write as well, to draw and even create stories, that have went on toe be immeasurably long, since I was like 12. You are one of the artists most integral to me. You are a strong person and I am happy you draw a line here and take space to get better. I will always come back, since I already always have, but I will also support you in your decision to leave art and comic making if that is the decision you will choose to make, since I want your light to shine brighter for the next few years. I sincerely hope you get better and I wish you the very best in the hopefully meantime <3
Azrael
2025-02-23 06:56:08 +0000 UTCDu hast so viel geschaffen und geleistet, was mir Freude bereitet hat! Du bist eine große Inspiration für mich. Das ist mehr als genug. Ich wünsche dir, dass du irgendwann aus diesem Teufelskreis raus findest und es dir besser geht! Wie auch immer du dann dein Leben gestaltest, es soll dir gut tun.
Livanya
2025-01-31 10:41:45 +0000 UTCHi Yaa, ich lese deine Geschichten schon seit Animexx-Zeiten und Goldfisch hat einen festen Platz in meinem Bücherregal. Vielen Dank für alle deine wunderbaren Kreationen. Ich wünsche dir alles alles Gute und dass du dir all die Zeit, die du zum Heilen brauchst, nehmen kannst ❤️
Dani
2025-01-30 20:25:29 +0000 UTCThank you for being brave enough to post this ans share with us, I know I for one will continue to support you even if you never return because I'm grateful for everything you've already put forth and all of the things you've done over the years. I found your stories through the worst time in my life and they helped me to both relate to something and have strength to keep going. Thank you for existing in this world and I sincerely hope you're able to have a safe and effective mental health journey going forwards. Wishing you the very best for your future wherever it may take you/gen
Micah Wilson
2025-01-29 23:40:22 +0000 UTCYou’re beautiful creations definitely helped me get through a rough time in my like. Thank you for everything! Take care of yourself ❤️
Sloane 🫰🏻
2025-01-22 17:47:49 +0000 UTCi won’t forget you ever. i love your stories and your characters, but that doesn’t mean you owe me or any of your readers anything. you’re a real person, and i sincerely hope you feel better and get to a place where you feel you can draw again, but for you. i don’t know if this is at all comforting to hear, but as a fellow artist your transparency with your mental health and your struggles actually helps to see, because i think it’s relatable to a lot of us. never forget that you are worthy and enough even if you don’t do anything but exist. there are people who care about you even if you don’t know them. wishing you all the best in your life ♥️
Kaya AHH
2025-01-19 22:47:45 +0000 UTCIm so sorry, you have to go trough that. I just want you to know how much i love your works, they are my favs, you are my fav artist. I won't stop supporting you, i will still do the monthly payment and i hope i can help you a bit with that. Please take care of yourself and don't forget how many people love you and your art.<333
Unicorn Star
2025-01-19 22:21:47 +0000 UTCIdk if I can speak for everyone but as long as im financially stable enough to pay the five bucks a month, I will. Hope you get your spirit back eventually :) I don’t think anyone here wants to pressure you, so take your time to get better first. Artist community and patreon members are usually very understanding about mental health issues and willing to wait and support through it ^^
Aniratac
2025-01-18 18:53:49 +0000 UTCLiebe Yaa, 👋🏻 danke für deine Offenheit und deinen Mut, so transparent mit uns zu sein. Es tut mir aus ganzem Herzen leid und macht mich betroffen, was du alles durchmachen musstest und wie schwer, schmerzlich und hart du zu kämpfen hast. Ich hoffe und wünsche dir, dass deine Seele, jede Wunde und jeder verletzte Teil in dir, dort heilen kann, wo du es brauchst. Dass du allen Raum und Zeit bekommst, den es benötigt, um gesund und glücklich zu werden. Dass du eine sichere, verlässliche und stärkende Unterstützung bekommst mit effektiven Werkzeugen, die dir liebevoll unter die Arme greifen. Dass du ein wohlwollendes und geduldiges Umfeld um dich hast, worauf du vertrauen, dich geborgen und gut aufgefangen fühlen kannst. Dass du in die Richtung wachsen und gedeihen kannst, in die du gehen möchtest. Dass du so viel überschüssige Energie und Kraft zur Verfügung hast, für Dinge und Hobbies, die dir wieder Freude bringen und es ein Leben statt einem Überleben ist. Dass du milde mit dir und stolz auf dich sein kannst, für jeden noch so kleinen Schritt, den du meisterst. Dass du ein Leben führen kannst, welches dein Herz erfüllt und für dich ist. Du bist so wertvoll! Ich wünsche dir das Beste und das Beste auf deinen weiteren Weg. Vielen Dank für all deine Werke! Ich kann dir gar nicht sagen, wie sehr mir deine Geschichten und Charaktere Kraft und Halt gegeben haben und ein Anker waren, in Phasen in denen es mir nicht gut ging (kämpfe leider auch mit einigen Diagnosen…). Deine Art Figuren so realistisch und komplex auszuarbeiten, dein farbenfroher, verspielter, detailreicher und einzigartiger Zeichenstil, so wie dein packendes, humorvolles und tiefgründiges Storytelling, haben mich total fasziniert und inspiriert. Jedes Update, jede Illustration (egal wie oft oder lange die Abstände waren) waren immer ein Highlight für mich. Man spürt einfach die Liebe, Überlegungen und die Bemühungen, die in all den Strichen stecken, sowie dich als wunderbaren Menschen, der durch das Werk wirkt. So bist du auch zu einer meiner Lieblingskünstlerinnen geworden und ich lese die Comics immer wieder gerne. Sie haben einen ganz besonderen Platz in meinen Herzen. Weder hast du mich enttäuscht, noch genervt oder wütend gemacht. Ganz im Gegenteil, hast du mir stattdessen so viel Freude und Kraft geschenkt. Ich hoffe, ich kann dir mit meiner weiteren Unterstützung ein bisschen was zurückgeben, solange es mir möglich ist. Bleiben werde ich sowieso. Das schreibe ich, weil ich dich gerne wegen DIR unterstützen möchte, ohne Gegenleistungen oder Erwartungen. Bitte mache dir wegen der Patreon-Post keinen zusätzlichen Druck (ist wahrscheinlich leichter gesagt, als getan). Ich kann zwar nur für mich sprechen, aber falls es mit der Goodie-Mail nichts wird, weil das kontraproduktiv für deine Heilung ist und zu viel Stress verursacht, ist das auch okay. Natürlich würde ich mich darüber freuen, aber das Allerwichtigste bist jetzt du und deine Genesung. Du bist niemanden etwas schuldig. Falls du wieder kommen möchtest, freue ich mich auf dich. Falls du einen anderen Weg für dich findest, der besser für dich passt, freue ich mich ebenso für dich. Pass gut auf dich auf und alles Gute und Liebe für dich!❤️✨
Stef
2025-01-14 21:05:33 +0000 UTCTruly, thank you for everything. Thank you for all of the content you shared with us. I cannot imagine having to keep up with those kinds of demands whilst struggling personally. I am so sorry for everything that you’re going through. Art should be fun for you to create, if it is no longer fun and becomes something you dread due to negative perception, deadlines and stress; you are entirely valid in taking a break. You deserve to rest, you deserve to have time for yourself where you don’t have to create content solely for others. No one should be expected to keep up with the immense amount of stress associated with this kind of job alone; especially as a person who struggles with their mental health outside of their job. It is simply inhumane, so please, I know it’s harder said than done, but take care of yourself. You deserve to feel okay, you deserve to feel better, and you deserve that by simply existing. You don’t just deserve to feel okay once you’ve completed a project, or ticked off every box on your to do list for the day. Your value is not determined by others. You are valuable and deserving of help despite what you can provide for us, it is inherent. I subscribed to your patreon because I loved your work and wanted to support YOU in any way I could. You are an insanely talented artist, and truly, having incomplete works does NOT make you a failure. You’re a human being not a robot, and having unfinished works is simply inevitable. As an artist I can’t imagine having something become so popular that I felt as though I was forced to make it forever, even when I feel less passionate about the project, want to try something new, or am struggling personally despite loving what I’m doing. Idiots on the internet will say anything; as a chronic people pleaser I know it’s hard not to take that sort of thing personally, but people can say awful things on the internet and it does not reflect the value of your work. Don’t let anyone pressure you into coming back into this space if you don’t feel ready, take all of the time that you need. Focus on yourself and feeling better, take care of yourself <3
kris ♡
2025-01-14 16:30:16 +0000 UTCI’m so grateful for all you are able to do. You are amazing as an artist and human and I know that it may be hard to believe with all the things that are attacking you right now but it’s true. I sincerely hope you have found the right people/program that can help this time and I’m proud of you for pursuing help. Some of us find that too hard. Having constant pain makes all the mental and emotional stuff so much worse. I hope that can be sorted out for you too. Feeling the way you feel isn’t anything you need to apologize for and I hope you get “well” enough for you to find happiness and joy again in your art and everyday life. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
SeonaSan
2025-01-14 13:25:48 +0000 UTCLook. You are a mess. And so are we. Maybe that’s why your art connects with so many on here. Thank you for all the hugs. I can’t imagine how much it hurt to draw them. Take good care and know that when you are ready to comeback, many will be happy to see you again.
Dan Z
2025-01-14 04:28:58 +0000 UTCThank YOU Yaa, for everything. All the fun and beautiful art and humor and lovely merch and your snippets into your life and YOU. Thank you for all of it. I hate that ANY of this is something you have to contend with. I can only hope this break does you a world of good, no matter how long it needs to be. I'm happy to hear you're doing what's best for YOU, because that's the most important thing. You have been going through so, SO much... far too much for one person to have to handle, especially so much on their own. I know I'm just one random person here saying so, but I'm proud of you for doing what you can and need to, to take care of yourself. I am absolutely going to miss seeing your characters, your art, more of you just hanging around and posting. But more importantly I'm just grateful you're taking time to take care of yourself. That doesn't mean this decision is easy though... and I hate it's one you have to make. Take all the time you need. I can only hope you're able to come back and feel that spark and joy again, but again, the most important thing is you being taken care of. I hope you're in good hands. I hope things go better. I hope for nothing but good things for you. Thank you again for everything <3 I send you all my love and best wishes.
Bri W
2025-01-14 03:06:59 +0000 UTCHi Yaa! I am so sorry for what you are going through. We have all seen the superhuman effort you have made to meet expectations (work and life) and I think many of us will continue to support you so that tomorrow you can continue creating and delighting yourself/enchanting us with your art. Your comic helped me in days when my mental health wouldn't let me sleep. I read the first version and then waited for the redraw because I love the details in Crushed and Java Bonds. You created a very complete world and it really fascinated me. I mean, who creates like 5 different teams with their names, emblems, with variety in races, etc? Talk about problematics without been cliché or exaggerating? It's amazing, I really admire how your brain works as an artist. I eagerly subscribed when you opened a higher slot on Patreon. Despite being from South America, and obviously the shipping was a problem, you made the goodie mail arrive. You even took the time to answer me when I asked if I could get one of your images tattooed. Even though the answer was no, I appreciate that you didn't leave me on read. Thank you for not giving up, thank you for sharing your art, thank you for seeking help. I will continue to support you and wait for you if one day you want to come back. First is your mental health, physical health, and truly putting yourself first in every way possible. Awkward hugs from the end of the world (Chile) 🫂💕 Translated with DeepL heheheheh
Lobos Compani
2025-01-13 22:33:01 +0000 UTCThank you for all the content you created and shared with us. I am so sorry that you are in so much pain and I wish you all the best and that it will get better at some point. I’ll also continue to contribute and I’ll be here if you ever do decide to come back. But only if you are ready to. And don’t let anyone pressure you,take all the time that you need. I wish you the best of luck on your journey. Take care <3
ZeroMonkeyX
2025-01-13 21:53:02 +0000 UTCLiebe Yaa, ich hoffe, es ist okay, dass ich meine Antwort auf Deutsch schreibe, aber ich habe das Gefühl, so kann ich mich etwas besser ausdrücken. Erstmal: vielen, vielen Dank für alles! Es ist vermutlich etwas weird, wenn das eine random Person aus dem Internet schreibt, aber du und deine Werke waren die letzten acht Jahre ein konstanter Bestandteil meines Lebens. Für mich hat sich in dieser Zeit so viel verändert. Ich habe meinen Schulabschluss gemacht, bin in eine neue Stadt gezogen um auf die Uni zu gehen und eine langjährige Beziehung ist zu Ende gegangen. Deine Tweets waren für mich in dieser Zeit immer eine Art Anker. Ich habe mich nicht mehr so allein mit allem gefühlt und habe es unglaublich bewundert, wie offen du deine Struggles kommunizieren konntest. Mir fällt das leider immer noch sehr schwer, aber du warst eine Inspiration für mich, mich anderen gegenüber mehr und besser zu öffnen. Ich wünschte wirklich, ich hätte etwas Ähnliches für dich tun können. Es tut mir so leid, dass ich auf viele Sachen nicht geantwortet habe. Sehr oft saß ich da und habe überlegt, ob ich dir privat eine Antwort schreiben soll, aber ich habe mich immer dagegen entschieden – aus Angst, dass es zu übergriffig wirken könnte. Letztendlich kennen wir uns ja nicht und ich wollte mir nicht das Recht herausnehmen, einfach deine persönlichen Struggles zu kommentieren. Aber ich habe immer alles gelesen und oft an dich gedacht. Von deiner Arbeit war ich Fan, seit ich damals (vielleicht so 2016?) dein Animexx-Profil entdeckt habe. Ich glaube, ich habe in einer Nacht wie eine Besessene alles durchgeklickt und dachte nur: Wow. Bitte mach dich nicht fertig dafür, dass du manche Projekte nicht abgeschlossen hast. Manchmal geht es nicht darum, etwas zu Ende zu bringen – es reicht doch auf das zu schauen, was man geschafft hat. An Java Bonds, High-Angle, Patchwork und natürlich Crushed werde ich vermutlich auch in 20 oder 30 Jahren noch gerne zurückdenken. Und der fact, dass die Story nicht beendet ist, ändert ja auch nichts an der Tatsache, wie sehr ich beim Lesen jedes Mal mit Henry mitfühle, bei Carters Backstory weine, oder Till mit jeder Faser meines Körpers eine reinhauen möchte (sorry für die Wortwahl). Du hast es geschafft, Charaktere und Geschichten zu schaffen, die mich sehr geprägt haben, und ich sage bis heute noch jedem, der es hören will, dass du meine Lieblings-Comic-Autorin bist! Nur weil du es trotz all deiner Struggles geschafft hast, dranzubleiben, habe ich es geschafft, wenigstens ab und zu, auch noch etwas zu malen. Ich hätte dich so gerne mal in Person getroffen und dir das alles hier in einem persönlichen Brief gesagt, den ich dir total peinlich stammelnd in die Hand gedrückt hätte. Und dann wäre es mir noch viel peinlicher gewesen, wenn du es actually gelesen hättest – oh je, und jetzt wird alles hier even peinlicher, deswegen komme ich mal zum Punkt. Liebe Yaa, du hast in den letzten Jahren wirklich viel durchgemacht, und ich hoffe sehr, dass die kommende Veränderung genau das sein wird, was du brauchst. Wir kennen uns nicht persönlich, aber ich habe dich als eine sehr intelligente, ambitionierte, gefühlvolle, unglaublich lustige, inspirierende Person mit einem absolut superior fashion sense erlebt. Nicht nur deine Comics, auch deine Illustrationen und Doodles haben mich jedes Mal begeistert, und ich bin sehr dankbar, dass ich als Patreon auf dieser Reise an deiner Seite sein durfte. Ich werde dich schrecklich vermissen, aber meiner Meinung nach ist deine Entscheidung die richtige. Auch in meiner nächsten Wohnung werde ich vermutlich meine Crushed-Postkarten wieder neben meinen Schreibtisch hängen, und auch Java Bonds wird wieder griffbereit in den Nachtschrank gelegt, wenn ich es mal wieder brauche. Ich weine nicht, ich hab was im Auge. 🥲 Ich wünsche dir alles, alles Liebe und viel Kraft für deine Zukunft! Fühl dich (nur wenn du möchtest) ganz doll gedrückt. Alles Liebe!
isipeezylemonsqueezy
2025-01-13 20:45:45 +0000 UTCThere’s so much I want to say but I’ll try to make this short. I’ve loved your work for so long and it’s been there for me through hard times; and I’ll cherish it, finished or not. I hope nothing but the best for you, and while I’m sad you’re leaving, I could never be mad at you for putting you and your mental health first. I’ll continue to contribute when I can, and I’ll be here if you ever do decide to come back. But only if YOU are ready to. Don’t let anyone pressure you. I wish you the best of luck on your journey. 🩵
LeevEye
2025-01-13 20:40:40 +0000 UTCThanks so much for everything you have made. So sorry to hear about your struggles but glad to know you are connected to care and making decisions to center yourself. If I never hear anything else about you again, I will continue to wish you well and hope that it will be because you have found ways to flourish that don't have space for this kind of public interface. All the best ❤️ Ps. Part of what drew me to your comics was about how well you were able communicate the experience of struggling with complex trauma/mental health issues, as much as I would love to read about your characters overcoming that and finding loving support with each other, it would be horrible if that happened at the expense of your own peace/wellness. Your life is more important than the lives of your characters or the expectations of your fans.
Charles Kermit
2025-01-13 16:03:01 +0000 UTCSorry for my English. I was reading your work translated with your permission in 2017. It was the first version. I fell in love and when you restarted with the second version I was even more excited, even if the translation failed I searched for your story trying to understand something even without translation. You can't imagine my joy when Jundo brought your work and I was able to take care of the lettering myself. It was an honor for me and I couldn't wait to have a paper copy of your work in the future. Knowing that you are not well and not having the certainty of a future for this work that I loved upset me, but I hope with all my heart for your happiness and that this bad situation will settles down. I wish you the best, for you, for your art and for your life. Lots of love♥
Serena Landers
2025-01-13 15:35:23 +0000 UTCDanke für all deine wundervollen Kreationen, deine Offenheit und deine Bemühungen. Ich wünsche dir von Herzen dass du heilen kannst und die Hoffnung nie verlierst.
JaySevun
2025-01-13 13:55:01 +0000 UTCTake care and know that if/when Crushed comes back… I’ll be here waiting. Mental Health is one of the biggest under acknowledged and under appreciated things out there. You do you and be good to you :)
Spudnikrx
2025-01-13 13:36:17 +0000 UTCIch bin nur ein stiller Fan, aber in der Hoffnung, dass du durch meinen Kommentar weniger das Gefühl hast in eine stumme Leere zu schreiben: Es tut mir sehr leid zu hören, wie sehr du leidest. Ich hab dich vor bestimmt über zehn Jahren auf animexx entdeckt und deine Charaktere und Geschichten haben mich seitdem nicht mehr losgelassen. Besonders Java Bonds und Crushed sind meine absoluten Lieblingscomics und auch wenn ich sie wegen ihrem Unterhaltungswert angefangen habe zu lesen, habe ich bald gespürt wie viel Tiefe in ihnen steckt und hab mich unwiderruflich verliebt. Sie haben mich tief berührt und mir Charaktere gezeigt, die echt wirken, weil du nicht davor zurückgeschreckt bist, da hinzuschauen, wo es wehtut. So eine rohe Ehrlichkeit ist selten und wenn man sie sieht und connected, unvergesslich. Als Comiczeichnerin selbst, bewundere ich dein Können, selbst aus diesen Momenten eine schöne, unterhaltsame Geschichte zu machen und als Mensch deinen Mut diese Verletzbarkeit zu zeigen. Danke, dass du deine Geschichten gemacht und mit uns geteilt hast. Ich wünsche dir von ganzem Herzen, dass der Weg langsam nach oben führt und dass du eines Tages wieder Freude am Leben hast und ehrlich den "keine Gefahr für dich selbst" Test bestehst. Es mag wenig Gewicht haben, es von einer gesichtslosen Fremden zu hören, aber du bist wertvoll unabhängig davon, was du produzierst. Ich hoffe, du bekommst die Unterstützung, die du brauchst und kannst dich eines Tages selbst mit weniger Druck und ein wenig mehr Gnade betrachten. Ich kann nicht versprechen, dass ich immer in der Lage sein werde, dich zu unterstützen, aber ich werde immer wieder zurückkehren, um es zu tun, wenn ich kann. Und ich werde nie vergessen, was du bereits getan hast. Du hast genug getan, ruh dich aus, werd gesund. Und Indiecomics sind auch ein besonders hartes Pflaster! Wenn etwas anderes besser für dich und dein Wohlbefinden ist, mach das. Du schuldest niemandem was. Wir schulden dir Dank für dein Werk.
Cecily Art
2025-01-13 11:07:51 +0000 UTCI somehow forgot: don't worry about the "goodies"! It would be nice to get more awesome Yaa stuff, but your health is way more important.
Tom G
2025-01-13 10:05:53 +0000 UTCIch kenne den Zustand selbst so unglaublich gut... ADHS, Burnout und Depressionen sind so eine beschissene Combo. Es klingt vielleicht wie leere Worte gerade, aber ich bin mir sicher die Leute die hier kommentieren meinen es wirklich: Nimm dir die Zeit. Egal ob du wiederkommst oder nicht. Vielleicht hilft es dir gerade am meisten mit der Einstellung rein zu gehen, dass du das alles hier garnicht mehr machen wirst, vielleicht hilft es dir mehr im Hinterkopf zu haben, dass du es irgendwann wieder könntest. Egal was davon - do it with YOU in mind not with us. I know, dass du das Gefühl hast deinen Lesern/Supportern irgendwas schuldig zu sein, aber the truth is, dass die meisten dich unterstützen, weil sie DICH unterstützen möchten, nicht, weil sie einfach nur konsumieren wollen. Und daraus schließt sich auch, dass dein Wohlbefinden über alles geht, was du uns an Zeichnungen und Stories geben kannst. Du bist ein wertvoller Mensch, weil du du bist und nicht, weil du etwas leistest. Hard to get that inside our brains, vorallem mit früheren/momentanen invalidierenden Umfeldern, aber es stimmt. Und was würde uns ein fertiger Comic von dir bringen, wenn du danach vielleicht nicht mehr bist? Oder du ihn dir selber nicht mal mehr anschauen kannst? Du lässt uns an deiner Kreativität teilhaben, wir haben kein Recht etwas von dir zu verlangen, womit du selber nicht comfortable bist. Having said that: Ich hoffe du kriegst die Unterstützung, die du brauchst. BeWo eventuell oder eine gesetzliche Betreuung maybe? Gibt da tatsächlich einige Angebote, wobei da die Klinik wahrscheinlich (hoffentlich) mehr zu weiß. Idk ob das angebracht ist (falls nicht, I'm sorry), aber falls du da doch noch irgendwie Fragen zu hast, kannst du mir auch ne Nachricht schicken (falls das auf Patreon geht). No pressure though, okay? Ich erwarte das nicht. Bin nur selber durch diesen ganzen Prozess schon durch und weiß, wie anstrengend es ist überhaupt die Hilfe zu bekommen, die einem dann dabei helfen soll sich selber zu helfen...was ein Satz ^^' ich fühle glaube ich einfach sehr stark mit deinem Text mit und würde unglaublich gerne irgendwie helfen können. Regardless though: Ich wünsche dir vom Herzen alles Gute und dass du deinen Weg aus dem Loch in dem du bist finden kannst. Es ist möglich!
Juli
2025-01-13 08:25:28 +0000 UTCObviously I don't really know you in reallife but I always felt connected to you through your art and so seen in what you have written so far. It makes me sad to know that it will maybe never be continued but I am still so thankfull that I was here for the journey until now and if there are any future projects, doodles, whatever, I'll be back for it again. I am so sorry that you are in so so much pain and I wish you all the best, that it will get better at some point, that healing won't be this scratching bleeding wound anymore. And maybe what you just did here is the right thing to do for you, it must be. Since you are describing so much stress and pain surrounding this "dream job". I know it hurts to give it up, but never forget that you are still worth it, even if you are not creating something. And also, I know that might not reduced the anxiety, I never accpected you to put up a lot of content. I mostly described for patreon to support you and your creativity. The art and stories where the (very delicious) cherry on the top. Wish you all the best <3
Sun Dee
2025-01-13 05:29:53 +0000 UTCFirst I want to say I appreciate the update and letting your readers know everything you have been going through. As someone who has battled with suicidal depression and social anxiety before, it sucks. And I know that by even just saying “it sucks” doesn’t fully articulate how scary it is knowing that it is more comfortable in the void and emptiness than anywhere else. But the fact that you are so desperate to get out of it and are actively seeking help, however long it may take, just proves in of itself that there is hope. So long as you stay desperate and willing to see that version of you that no longer suffers, there will always be hope. I know your mind is very dark and confused right now and there will still be tough days ahead, but so long as you keep fighting, it WILL get better. I genuinely wish you nothing but love, strength, and healing during this process. We will be rooting for you every step of the way, no matter how long it takes 💙!
Raven
2025-01-13 03:59:51 +0000 UTCI'm so sorry to hear all the terrible things you're going though. Nobody deserves that, least of all a brilliant artist and storycrafter such as yourself. Your work has been my number one favorite out of many *many* comics I read. It made me feel seen, it healed my inner child, and it inspired me explore new beloved characters and new themes of my own, all the while with a quiet content acceptance that I wasn't making anything as masterfully crafted as you. And while I will hold out hope that I will get to see it again in the future, I accept that I may not. Your health and wellbeing must obviously come first, and it is for this reason primarily that I intend to continue to support you, even without reward. What I can offer may not be much, and it's certainly not as much as I think you deserve, but I will keep giving it as long as I'm able. My heart goes out to you, and I wish you comfort, I wish you health, I wish you stability and love. I wish that you the ability to admire yourself as much as I admire you.
Lethal Butterfly
2025-01-13 02:47:23 +0000 UTCWishing you the best!
Wally
2025-01-13 02:16:53 +0000 UTCThank you for sharing so much with us. I only support when I am financially ok to do so, so you can be assured that I am continuing to support you on here while being able to after supporting myself and because I really want to. You are not a disappointment or anything like that. You are a person dealing with mental health issues that are hard to deal with! I suffer severe depression and chronic pain that affects my ability to draw. I won’t say I understand how you feel but I definitely resonate a lot with how you’ve been feeling and feel similarly often. I know how hard this shit is. I’ve followed your work for soooo many years at this point and I’ve always been proud to do so. But as much as I adore your art, I care about you more. I don’t want you to make art when it’s killing you to do so. It’s ok to not make art when it’s hurting or when you’re not feeling well. It’s ok to take a long time away for your health. It’s ok to talk about how you feel on your side twitter. You’re allowed to be upset about going through this bullshit that you don’t deserve to suffer with. It’s understandable and ok to complain about that! I know this isn’t about me but I also resonate with feeling the pressure to draw for other people while dying inside. I was feeling similarly to that during my art university course and still feel lasting trauma from it as dramatic as that might sound. I had to seriously learn to be ok with actually resting and not drawing if I didn’t want to or feel up for it. It took so long to stop feeling unbearable guilt for not drawing or being productive, like the kind that twists up your insides and makes you unable to do anything else and paralysing you. But it helped to complain about it to my friend a lot, and I mean a lot. And I couldn’t deny how much I needed the rest, how my wrists started to feel better for it. How whenever I did feel like drawing it was that burst of joy of making art like it used to be. I hope you do get to that place again, it is possible even if it feels like rn it really isn’t. But I feel like putting so much pressure on getting better makes it way harder. It’s ok if you need a long time. And it’s ok if this is indefinite or feels like it could be forever. I’m happy to support you as long as I’m able because I want to and I care about you. I hope the support doesn’t put any pressure on you for anything. It’s absolutely unconditional. But I hope you can feel even a little bit from us how much you are cared about even if your brain is telling you you’re not. We love you very much!
ChocolateRevel
2025-01-13 01:42:06 +0000 UTCI wish you all the best in your recovery and I hope you are able to come back in some way as I know all of us absolutely adore your art, story, characters, everything! Please take your time!! We’ll be waiting with big smiles and open arms!!
Courtney Rose
2025-01-13 01:06:01 +0000 UTCHey, ich weiß nicht so recht ob du mich zuordnen kannst aber aus der Sicht einer Zeichnerin möchte ich dir sagen, egal ob die jährlichen Pakete, ob ich auf messen was bei dir gekauft habe oder über deinen Shop was bestellt habe: ich liebe ALLE deine Werke. Deine Prints hängen an meiner Wand, deine standees in meiner Vitrine und für deine Bücher habe ich extra solcher Ständer geholt damit sie nicht "einfach nur" im Regal stehen sondern richtig zu sehen sind. An meinem taschen und Schlüsselbund sind verschiedene Anhänger von deinen Charakteren und meine morgendliche Tasse ist die von Java Bond. Deine Werke waren und sind immer was besonderes ist gute... 15 Jahre her das ich dich entdeckt habe. Wärst du und deine Geschichten nicht, ich hätte niemals selbst angefangen zu zeichnen. Und mittlerweile ist es nicht nur mein Hobby sondern auch mein Job. Ich bezweifle also, das ich dich je vergessen könnte! Und ich bin definitiv nicht enttäuscht das du nun gehst. Ich hoffe nur das es dir irgendwann wieder gut geht. Das du etwas findest, was dich glücklich macht. Egal ob es zeichnen oder was komplett anders ist. Das wichtigste ist, das es dir wieder besser geht. Ich....bin nicht gut darin Worte zu finden... ich hoffe mein Text ist nicht zu anmaßend! Ich wünsche dir alles, alles erdenklich Gute. Du hast all das Glück der Welt verdient! Hoffentlich auf wiedersehen 💕
Merlin
2025-01-13 00:45:20 +0000 UTCI completely understand as I am in a similar situation (not the pain but the mental health stuff). I haven't been able to work consistently for 18 months, or at all for 8 months. More drugs, more therapy, and a new diagnosis of PTSD and agoraphobia, as well as my life long anxiety, depression and social anxiety. I'm trying to get back to work, which I love so much, but it is so hard and continually trying is constantly leaving me with guilt and shame. Your health is so important and I'm so sorry you are going through everything. But I wanted to say how much I love your work and how much Crush has been a wonderful character who I feel echo's of myself in. Your stories have made me laugh, cry, feel joy and love. I have supported you for years and would happily continue to do so when my own situation improves. Thank you for everything. Please try to take care of yourself and I hope that you find a way forward, whatever that looks like, just like I am hoping I will eventually find my own way forward. You have kindness and care in your heart, even if you can't see it, and it shone through your stories.
Hryfna
2025-01-13 00:06:47 +0000 UTCRegular people seem like superheroes to us with depression. Just going around and... doing things... and existing. It feels so unreasonably difficult. I find a lot of what you said very relatable. Somehow I've managed to get a little better recently. I hope so much that you can get that for yourself too. If your art is anything to go buy, I think you are a beautiful person. I hope you can recognise that in yourself. Goodbye and best wishes on your recovery.
ac1d_TigR
2025-01-12 23:51:44 +0000 UTCI’m so sorry you’re going through all of this and I hope your break can be the one that really heals you!! I had an awful start to my last college semester and it was a bad place to be, I completely wanted to just drop out. But I did get the support I needed to get out of there and I’m hoping you can too. Also, even if some of the work you’ve been doing is unfinished, I know I, and probably a lot of others, would still love to see your WIPs ☺️💕
Emily Pearson
2025-01-12 23:49:26 +0000 UTCI'm not great with words, that's why I don't normally make comments. But I have enjoyed your stories through the years. But your health and happiness is far more important. If you decided to comeback one day I hope it's when you are truly ready, and at your pace not the readers pace. Wishing you the best it has been a good ride. 😹
Koharu34
2025-01-12 23:37:27 +0000 UTCThank you for trying to explain everything you have been through❤️ and thank you for trying for us and your characters for this last year. But please put yourself first and take care. Crushed was one of the first comic I ever read and it will always be in my heart. I hope by gods grace in the future you do feel healthier and even if you don’t draw again, I hope you find something that makes you truly happy because you deserve it🩵. I wish you all the best for the future. And I just want you to know you will have one person who will stay for you❤️ if you ever choose to come back. Thank you for everything Nana🩵
JadyJewel
2025-01-12 23:36:48 +0000 UTCTake care of yourself! 🙏
Melanie Stadtler
2025-01-12 23:33:47 +0000 UTCYaa, I don't post much. I usually lurk in most communities I'm in, But I want to thank you for all the work you've done. Take as long as you need, even if its indefinite. I personally don't know if I'll understand what your going though, but I fully support whatever you need to do to look out for yourself. Stay safe You, and here's to your future, you deserve the best.
Trezflare .
2025-01-12 23:31:12 +0000 UTCOkay I have a lot to say and like you I tend to ramble but I'll try to be concise and I don't know if what I'm going to say will help or hurt but I hope it helps. First of all take your time, your story is fascinating, I'm a young person from the other side of the world living in a third world country and when I found out your story I fell in love, it's great and of course I want to know how it ends, I want Carter and Reuben and Scott and Thommy to have a happy ending because they deserve it, but you know what? You too, and if you need this I understand take your time, heal, love yourself, I don't understand why you are surprised that so many people feel attracted to your story, that it touches us deeply or helps us, it is obvious that you have been through a lot for your message but also for your characters, you put a little bit of yourself in them and you make them so real and empathetic, Heartstopper is a beautiful BL but as someone from a third world nation I can tell you that empathizing with them is difficult, not only because they are too perfect characters, but because they live very different lives than mine, on the other hand Carter, Scott and even Reuben, I love them although they also have a lot of problems, in the comics we have seen some of their worst qualities and there are idiots who feel disappointed by that and leave you negative comments but I will tell you that this makes them the most real and empathetic characters that I have come across among my mountain of BL, you are at the top, that is why we read you, because many of us have been through the same thing, homophobia, bullying, body dysmorphia, bodyshaming, family rejection, sexual assault, family violence, religious fanaticism, and I think your story is about giving them a happy ending and gives us hope that we also deserve to be happy and you need that hope too, that's why you gave Scott bodyissues and familyissues or an abusive father to Reuben or such a tragic and traumatic past to Carter, then think, as an author how would you help them improve as a character, with themselves, with their toxic relationships and with their healthy relationships, that could motivate you and help you handle your life, how you relate to others, how you see yourself, solving your life as you would like Carter or Scott or whoever to solve theirs will not give you all the answers but it will give you some clues and also you will not have a very solid support system but you have many fans who can contribute their grain of sand to help you, personally as I said I am from a third world country, I do not think I can continue supporting you financially if you will not upload more content, but you can talk to me and I know that you said you don't want to be a burden but you have a lot of fans you don't need to put all your weight on a single person, a support network is like a bed of nails, all the weight is distributed in a way that no one digs into your skin, there will surely be one or another fan with whom you feel more comfortable, based on the comments they leave or that you have known them for a long time, you can start there, my door is open and I also have my own problems but sharing the load makes it easier and we can talk about whatever, not necessarily mental health or trauma or the comic, just saying good morning, an occasional joke might help you feel better, and if you really need and want to talk about your problems, well personally I am an autistic boy who lived in a strict and religious family, I was bullied in high school for being nerdy and gay, because of my autism social issues are not my strong suit so being in the lgbt+ community did not make me feel less alone and weird, Grinder reinforced my body dysmorphia, low self-esteem and other shit, and currently my ideal job seems unattainable and I work for an abusive company 10 hours a day 6 days a week so I think I'm pretty tough, and as a veterinarian I have the instinct to help whoever needs it, throw your best punch and I'll say "oh yeah daddy harder" so if you wanna chat from time to time just tell me, or with someone you feel confident but do it, you are talented and you have one person on the other side of the world who is ready to be nice with you, so could you be nice with yourself? You deserved and deserve a happy ending, maybe in real life it is not like in comics or movies, where everything is rosy forever once the story ends, but things can be better than they are now and you deserve that, nobody is going to save you, not by themselves, you need to save yourself but you can receive a little help from all kinds of people, your psychiatrist, friends, some family, and your fans who love you and identify with your stories and therefore with you and all together we can get out of that hole of depression, I hope you read this message and I have not strayed too far
Job Levi Sanchez Garcia
2025-01-12 23:20:00 +0000 UTCYaa, I really wish everything could be easier for you, and I truly hope the world (your family, the healthcare system etc) stops letting you down so that you can achieve happiness and your goals. Your work isn’t just “unfinished projects”, as soon as I picked up Crush3d, like many others, I knew I was reading something special. Followed by JavaBond and Middle Child Syndrome (my favorite of yours), I discovered stories that I NEEDED. Seeing a “reflection” of myself—my thoughts—in your characters was so, so important to me! It made me feel less alone. Damn, it even gave me the courage to learn more about my traumas and speak up about my SA which i kept for myslef for 6 years. I’m an artist too, and I’ve always found it admirable how, despite everything you’re going through, you’ve been able to keep going. But it’s so fucking hard sometimes—especially when you have chronic pain and a horrible case of perfectionism plus the frustration of feeling like your body and mind are keeping you from what you want most. (speaking about myself here, but I know you can relate). It’s hard. But most importantly, it’s more than okay to stop and take a step back. Because it doesn’t define your self-worth. It simply means you have enough courage to heal. 💛 It’s okay to feel that you can’t shoulder this alone. No one can do everything, especially without support, and it’s not a reflection of your talent or worth, it’s just reality. I know it might mean nothing coming from a rando, but I’m so proud of you for taking a step back from your pain and a step toward healing. 💛 And if you can, please hold onto this: your worth isn’t tied to what you produce. You are worthy because you exist. Whether you return to art or find a new path entirely, those of us who have been touched by your work are grateful for what you’ve shared, and even more so for your resilience in the face of all your pain. I hope the time in the psychiatric unit brings you the support you need. Recovery might feel distant or slow, but it’s still worth trying. It’s okay to take things one moment at a time, and it’s okay if “better” doesn’t look like what you expected. I love you, I’ll miss you, and I’ll keep supporting you because I want to help in some way—just like you’ve helped me.
Lilhatsumie Kana
2025-01-12 23:12:04 +0000 UTCI’ve been following you for a few years now and it has been a joy getting to watch how your art and characters have developed over the years, and you have nothing to feel bad about for having to make this decision, I know how hard it is to have to give up on something that you love so dearly, especially when it comes with also fearing that you are letting people down and also having to deal with what things your brain may make you think about yourself as well, but you are absolutely doing the right thing by prioritizing your health above all else. I hope that one day we hear from you again and that you get to continue doing what you love, but even if you don’t I wish you the very best in whatever you end up doing. ❤️
twistmebabe
2025-01-12 23:11:15 +0000 UTCHey, keine Ahnung, ob Du das alles hier noch liest, und es ist maximal verständlich, wenn Du es nicht tust. Sollte es doch so sein, möchte ich Dich wissen lassen, dass Du ein sehr wertvoller Mensch bist. Ich verfolge Dich und Deine Comics seit CRUSH3D (bzw. ehemals HoHo) als Schnappsidee entstanden ist. Sie, Deine Charaktere und damit auch Du als Artist sind mir massiv ans Herz gewachsen und ich blicke gerne auf alles zurück und lese sie immer wieder gerne. Es mich wirklich traurig und betroffen, dass es Dir über die Jahre immer wieder schlechter ging und ich habe immer die Daumen gedrückt und gehofft, dass es irgendwie besser wird. Ich wünsche Dir nichts mehr als das Beste auf der Welt und dass Du die Hilfe & Unterstützung bekommst, die Du brauchst. Und dass Du irgendwann wieder Freude & Leidenschaft für das Zeichnen/Malen für Dich selbst (und nicht für jemand anderes!) wiederfindest, sollte es das sein, was Du für Dich gerne wieder machen möchtest. Völlig ohne Erwartung und ohne Druck: ich werde bleiben. Du bist es wert aufgefangen zu werden und wenn es ein kleiner Beitrag ist, die finanzielle Last nur ein wenig zu schmälern, ist es mir das wert. <3 Ich wünsche Dir viel Kraft & alles Liebe.
Ragy
2025-01-12 22:59:02 +0000 UTCEs bricht mir das Herz. Aber nicht nur wegen Crushed, deine Worte klingen so verzweifelt, dass es mich sprachlos macht. Ich kann nur für mich sprechen aber stress dich doch nicht mit dem Gedanken an die Goodie-Post. Ich habe den Eindruck, dass das genau der Druck ist, der dir beim Heilen so gar nicht guttut. Wie gesagt: ich kann nicht für alle sprechen, aber ich persönlich finde es wichtiger, dass du dich voll und ganz auf deine Genesung konzentrieren kannst. Und wenn es die Möglichkeit gibt, für nen Euro oder so einfach hier noch weiter zu bleiben, in der Hoffnung, dass du in 5 Jahren oder so zurückkommst und ich das so nicht verpasse, dann fänd ich das klasse! Ich liebe deine Kunst, deine Geschichten, deine Charaktere! Ich ich hoffe, dass du irgendwann wieder die Kraft haben wirst, dein unglaubliches Talent einzusetzen. Mach’s gut und versuche daran zu glauben, dass deine Fans zu 99% aus Verständnisvollen und wunderbaren Menschen besteht, die nur das Beste für dich wollen. Fühl dich gedrückt, wenn du magst ❤️
Kadda
2025-01-12 22:51:26 +0000 UTCHey. I don't know if you gonna look in the comments, considering you think everyone is gonna be disappointed at you, but I get it. I am not angry at you. I want you to prioritise yourself. It will take some time to get used to the idea of not seeing your art and not hearing anything from you. But that's okay, take your time. Your art inspired me and I will never be able to forget it. Tbh I wasn't the most active fan, because I'm always scared that you or other creators will think weird of me like "huh? Why is she commenting like im her friend? That's annoying.". But now I want to reinstall twitter and express my understandment for everything you expressed. I hope me saying "I won't loose hope" won't put even more pressure on you. I will continue to support you and hope that someday you get in a good space that makes you feel happy and that inspires you. I hope you will find something to do that makes you happy and challenges you in ways that make you want to keep doing it. And I would be happy if you feel comfortable with sharing whatever gives you happiness. I wish you a lot of happiness and joy in the nearest future. But for now, good bye ♡
Nicole R.
2025-01-12 22:41:03 +0000 UTCI won't pretend to be able to relate to what you are going through, and I'm not qualified in any way to give mental health advice. But I personally think it is the right call to keep trying to make things better for you. I like to believe that, for you and any of us, if we keep on going, whether its spite or hope or anything else that drives us, that things will get better eventually. They do say that night is always darkest before the dawn. I'll stick around on Patreon. Not because of any sort of feeling of obligation, but because I want to. As for the goodie mail, there's probably complicated and/or legal reasons for why it is impossible, but I personally wouldn't even mind if I never got the last one. I'd much rather you do what's best for your recovery, and if that means ditching this last mail, I at least would be fine with that. Lastly, from experience, the best way to make people believe that something they have done is good is to keep hammering that point home. So in that light -- your comics have absolutely made my life better, now and forever, whether you end up coming back or not. Seven years ago, I wanted to buy the original version of Crushed so badly that it got me to overcome my social anxiety and visit a convention for the first time. I'm happy I got to meet you there, and it indirectly also got me to make friends with people I would otherwise never have met. Some of them have made a great impact in my life, some I managed to help in their lowest points, and it would never have happened without you. Ever since then, your storytelling and art have made many dark days of my life better and bright ones brighter. And I will of course miss them, but I would never feel badly about you if you chose not to come back. It's about the journey, not the destination, and even if your comics don't end up at the destination you or I envisioned, I'll be forever grateful I got to tag along for part of the journey.
Arael
2025-01-12 22:32:52 +0000 UTCThank you for everything, I loved your cómic always and your work , Crush will be forever one of my favorite characters, and im glad I get to know you in person once at Dokomi , I wish you the best and good luck on your recovery, doesn't matter which path you choose in the future as long is for your own good an health, we will be happy for you, and help you , hugs from mexico and a lot of love
Oscar Sky
2025-01-12 22:27:09 +0000 UTCOh dear, i don't have any words. Live is so unfair sometimes - nobody deserve to be this sick. I really hope for you that you will recover and find light again. I wish you all the best. You can't believe it right now, but you are loved and lots of us think positivly of you and your art. Try to get back on your feed. Some of us will wait for you even there won't be a comeback in your arts.
Sui Akim
2025-01-12 22:24:40 +0000 UTCI'm not disappointed or annoyed at all. I want you to be better and feel better, in whatever way you can. If you don't post anything anymore, that's okay. I still want to support you as one artist to another. I've been reading your comics for so long, I've seen so much of what you create and I've related to your characters so much. When I'm lonely or upset I love rereading certain sections. You have made a difference for me and others with your art. I hope you can find a way to create art that makes YOU happy too. Please do whatever you need to do to live a fulfilling life. Even if it means not posting art online or for other people. I want you to be happy and healthy. 💛💛💛
Natalie
2025-01-12 22:23:42 +0000 UTCMy heart goes out to you. I could never forget you! I love your comic. I know hearing this gets old, but you are worthy and you are worth caring about. You have been heard and I will keep you in my thoughts. I really hope you get the healthy and wonderful good for you help, that you deserve. I understand if you never come back ( I just want you to get healthy first and foremost), just know I'm routing for you and am in your corner!
Jamie Giessen
2025-01-12 22:22:54 +0000 UTCthank you for writing about your difficult journey. i’m sure it wasn’t easy to disclose your vulnerabilities and that in itself shows immense strength. i have been following you and your stories for about a decade now and i have genuinely loved everything you’ve created. i have and will probably continue to tell friends about your stories for they have deeply touched me. your comics have been there while i was healing through some of the worst times in my life. i’m so sorry to hear that you have the passion and talent but are unable to continue to do what you love most. i wish you find the capability to do so, not for us but for YOURSELF. because that’s what matters most. you are not obligated to post anything for us or anyone. but i do wish you find your way back to art because throughout your message, i could feel your pain in not being able to do what you love. i wish you can work on building a different, healthier relationship with art, one free of deadlines external pressures. please remember that you have immense strength within you. it is that strength that made you seek treatment, that strength that you used to express your vulnerabilities to us patrons. i wish you take the strength you have within to heal. and don’t forget to treat YOURSELF with kindness and compassion. the weight of your difficulties are too much for one person and tackling them all requires time and patience. don’t forget to forgive yourself for doing what you could during these difficult times. and show compassion to person shouldering these struggles. i wish you all the best. take this much needed rest to heal and find peace and passion for what you love. if you come back, just know that you have a community full of people here that acknowledge your struggles and wish you all the best. much love, Lexie ♡
lexie
2025-01-12 22:21:16 +0000 UTCI know this probably don't mean much coming from a stranger but you're someone I honestly look up to. You're storytelling and art are so amazing, so much so that I don't think I could ever match that greatness. I just want you to know that you're not a failure and you're not weak cause you're still here. Even if it's not in the way you wished you're still here. I seriously pray that if nothing else you can continue on living and find happiness and satisfaction within yourself cause that's all that matters. I got no idea what you're going through but one thing I do know is that God loves you so, so much and he'll help if you let him. The change will be small, maybe unnoticeable at first but I promise you if you really let him in your life it'll change for the better. It won't be easy but I believe in you. You got this and you're capable of way more than you realize. -Your self-proclaimed biggest fan
Angel Neesan
2025-01-12 22:21:03 +0000 UTCYou just focus on yourself Yaa, that's what's important! If people are not happy with that, then they are the loses, stay safe 💕
Michelle Jørgensen
2025-01-12 22:21:02 +0000 UTCThe most important thing is for you to get better,everything else be damned. Being an indie comic creator is truly stressful, I understand if you never come back, fuck that shit. I am rooting for you to get better and find happiness in life! Thank you forever and good luck in your recovery
Peak
2025-01-12 22:16:55 +0000 UTCAs if I could be disappointed by any of your art. It has always been a happy occasion for me (and probably all of us) when you post more, whenever that has happened. Never think otherwise. I am happy to have been able to follow Crush and his friends for so long now. This was a shining star among comics, not just NSFW ones. Just remember: Crush3D isn't "unfinished", there is just more story left to tell. Big difference!! I sincerely hope we will at some point be able to find out more of it, but if not...well, all stories end at some point. It is not easy to let go, but sometimes one has to. I am however sad to hear that you are exhausting yourself immensely just to please others. Don't do that. You don't owe us anything. Live *your* life instead. *Live* your life. Thankyou so much for everything.
Tom G
2025-01-12 22:10:50 +0000 UTCI hope you get the help you need and are able to feel better, about yourself and life. I always just lurked here, but your art has been part of my life for 10+ yrs now and whatever little bit I can do, to make life a little bit easier on you, I will. Take however much time you need, as long as you dont give up on yourself altogether. <3
pinsrl T-Rex
2025-01-12 22:08:41 +0000 UTCHi, I'm not a big commenter, so I'll keep this short. I hope you'll find/get the support you need to feel okay again and that your future will be good (or make you happy) wherever that may take you. I originally found your comic on Tapas around 2016ish, and was and still am happy to have been able to support you with my pledge. Good luck on your path and good bye or farewell too.
Ghulbaum
2025-01-12 22:05:56 +0000 UTCI only wish the best for you and hold none of this against you. Focusing on your health is the best thing you can do for your fans, stories, and characters. Thank you for all of the art you've given us over the years, I hope that one day you can continue crushed without sacrificing your well-being. And even if you don't, I'd be happy knowing you're on a path to recovery regardless. I believe in you, take care. 💛
Kappathefish
2025-01-12 22:04:32 +0000 UTCI'll stay and cheer for your recovery, no need to stress about us, focus on yourself for as long as you need!
Diego P
2025-01-12 22:01:51 +0000 UTCi think Yaa i will always have both good and bad memories of your art(that's good by the way), even if it takes 10 years for you to come back, or if you leave these two big projects as a whole forever, KNOW that for even a moment you made an impression, you made me FEEL a lot of stuff, *seen* being a lot of those feelings, not as alone, overjoyed, sad, angry, scared, anxious- in short you made me feel a lot with your art; and that there is nothing wrong with that, human one might say even. So i'm not going to forget you, you've already made an imprint in my life, and even if these memories turn bittersweet, or maybe they won't, i'll keep them gladly. I hope you the best dude, and I hope to see you in the corners of the internet some day, so thank you so much for everything, lots of virtual hugs<3
MIB kid
2025-01-12 22:00:55 +0000 UTCDear YAA, I want to preface this with a clear statement that I'm not going to say anything negative in this comment so that you feel safe and confident about reading it. If you choose not to read it, I completely understand. I want to say clearly and unequivocally that you should prioritize your health and well being always. Every one of the subscribers here wants you to be well. I know that there are a lot of pressures (financial, social, and emotional) that come with projects like this. I think your therapist is right about avoiding these comments if they cause you harm. But I also really wish that you could see how much joy you have brought to so many of us. I wish I could tell you in person how grateful I am for your work, for the stories you have told and will tell, and most of all for your presence here on this earth. I want to remind you of your achievements. I'm currently holding my printed copy of Crushed Vol 1. I put it out in a prominent spot on my bookshelf and friends compliment me on it often. The art is electric and the story is electrifying. I often return to reread Java Bonds and Middle Child Syndrome, both of which are phenomenal works that speak to the core experience of what it means to be human. I could continue listing your art, but this comment would become too long. Every single piece of work that you have created is beautiful, whether you have shown it to the public or not. That goes for both the visual art and the written stories and characters that you have brought into being. From your message, I can tell how much difficulty this comic has caused you, and I do not blame you for stopping. I want you to feel joy and love and pride when it comes to your art. If you don't, I want you to take the time and the care you need to feel better. I see your art, both the story and the visuals, as worthy of joy and love and pride. I want you to know that there is still hope. Many of us who subscribe here resonate with your struggles because we too have faced our own challenges, whether they are family, mental health, financial, etc. Please know that we support you and we want you to feel better, no matter how long that takes or if it means stepping away from creating comics like this for any amount of time. I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. But I know how strong you are from the stories you have told and the work you have put in to get to this point. Please know that it is a good thing to turn that strength and amount of work inward to feel better. I know that things feel scary and uncertain. But I promise you things will be okay. You are not disappointing any of us. The only way you could do that is by sacrificing your well being to continue making this art. With love, understanding, and best wishes, Noah
Noah R.
2025-01-12 22:00:20 +0000 UTCDanke für die Reise. Deine Kunst hat mich immer sehr berührt und es ist natürlich schade, aber deine Gesundheit geht immer vor. Ich wünsche dir nur das allerbeste <3
Blue
2025-01-12 21:59:27 +0000 UTCThank you for dedicating time, mental and emotional energy to share with us your reasons and also this part of you. It wasn't due, because before being a content creator and an artist, you are a person and you deserve to be able to find the strength to heal yourself and try in some way to put the pieces back together and if this means not drawing anymore... So be it. You will always have precedence, if not in your eyes I hope at least for those who will take care of you. I'm so sorry for everything, thank you for having accompanied us all these years and for having made us fall in love and love Carter and all the other characters, for having spoken about mental health so openly and accurately, both here and in your works. I hope you can find some serenity, personally I will support you as long as I can, regardless of the publications. We respect you so much! Take care of yourself
Alixia
2025-01-12 21:58:54 +0000 UTCYour comics brought me so much joy over the years, I've been followings you since HoHo Volume 2 and you and your comics have been a part of my life since then. I laughed, I cried, I felt every kind of emotion from reading your stuff, they even played a part in shaping the person I am today. You had a pretty big impact in my life and it's absolutely breaking my heart to see you suffer that much. (Which 100% is NOT(!!!) your fault!). Of course, I don't really know you, but from following you for almost 10 years you seem like such a genuinely amazing person and someone like you really does not deserve to suffer that much. I hope so so so so much, that things will get better for you, no matter if you come back one day or not. I really, honestly just hope you'll feel better one day. Please take all the time in the world to rest and maybe heal. Don't feel pressured to post, do or ship anything. I know the feeling of obligation, but now it's time for you to take it easy and think about just yourself. I don't think anyone who's in their right mind will be mad at you for what's happening and I, for one, wish you all the best! Please always remember that there are people you touched, people you had a positive impact on and who wish you all the best. The hate always sticks around longer but it's important to know that there are people who like you and love what you did. I definitely am one of them! I really wish you all the best! <3
Sam
2025-01-12 21:57:21 +0000 UTCFirst of, I'm neither disappointed, nor angry or annoyed. I wish you the very best from the bottom of my heart, not necessarily for you to return but for you to get better. What you went through sounds exhausting and you need time to really heal. How much time, no one can say, even how healthy one can get after all this is uncertain. But I always believe (for my problems as well) that it can always get better. Take all the time you need, clear out all your medical problems and then tackle them one by one with every help you can get. Even if it feels cruel, cut off your mother if she only drags you down deeper. Your health must be your first priority. After your health is better you can start drawing again, if you want that. Uploading sketches or anything we've never seen is a good idea, especially if it makes you feel better. If it makes you feel more like a failure leave it be. I hope you'll return someday but do not feel pressured by me (or anyone) to ever return if you don't want to. I'm deeply deeply sorry for all the things you have to deal with. I wish you the very best. Love, Timo 🧡
Saleb
2025-01-12 21:56:58 +0000 UTCTake care of yourself, fully support your decision. You should definitely prioritise your wellbeing and if making this comic is too much don't be afraid to call it quits even if it is for good. It's saddening to think of your situation and how exploitive the comic/webtoon industry is hope things get better for you. Also wanted to say thanks for all the effort put into the comic, your art is amazing and have loved seeing both the story and the art evolve over the years.
Watermelon
2025-01-12 21:56:33 +0000 UTCI'm so sorry to hear about all you've been going through Yaa. For what it's worth, It has been a massive pleasure and a privilege to support and follow your work & characters over the years - wishing you the very best of health, happiness and safety whatever the future holds. Cheering you on all the way. ❤️
Krisopolis
2025-01-12 21:55:21 +0000 UTCIch weiß nicht, ob du die Kommentare unter diesem Post noch liest, aber ich will dir dennoch ein paar Worte da lassen Du tust das Richtige und du kannst unfassbar stolz dafür auf dich sein. Deine Gesundheit ist erst einnal das Wichtigste, alles andere kommt weit danach. Kümmer dich um dich und darum irgendwann wieder auf die Beine zu kommen, leben zu können. Kein Comic dieser Welt ist so wichtig, dass dein Leben und deine Gesundheit (Körperlich als auch Mental) so sehr darunter leiden sollten (was nicht heißen soll, dass dein Comic nicht toll ist, aber dein Leben ist definitv wichtiger <3) Versuch dir nicht zu sehr den Kopf zu zerbrechen (ich weiß, das ist deutlich leichter gesagt als getan) und konzentriert dich auf dich. Natürlich freuen wir uns sicher alle, solltest du irgendwann zurück kommen. Aber auch für den Fall, dass du feststellst das ein anderer Lebensentwurf besser für dich ist, bin ich sicher, würde sich hier jeder für sich freuen, könntest du nur wieder Lust am Leben finden <3 In diesem Sinne wünsche ich dir nur das Beste und ganz viel Erfolg auf deinem Weg. Ich hoffe es geht dir bald wieder besser und du kannst wieder mehr gutes im Leben sehen <3
Vincent Jaeger
2025-01-12 21:55:03 +0000 UTCDear Nana, i can only imagine how difficult it was for you to type all of this out. Please know that your legacy is so much more than what you described. You inspired and entertained many people despite your struggles. I've personally been following you for over 10 years i reckon and all this time i've been in awe of your skill and dedication. Please don't feel like you owe us or anyone anything (even if they're your parent) before getting better. The only thing you owe to yourself right now is this break. Living with the thought of you owing people is something i struggle with too and it's okay to want to break out of that pattern. While i understand the weight of the mail tier sits on your shoulders i also think most pledgers will understand that you're not in a state where you can fulfill your side of the agreement. If you ever wanna draw again please only do so because you enjoy it, not because you feel obligated to do it. Obviously i dont know what you felt while painting those gorgeous paintings you posted on your twitter, but those were so different from what you usually do and still had your essence in them. I hope you can find the joy in drawing before you find obligations. And if you never draw again, i hope you find joy in something else. Spending a lot of time in the psychiatric care system can be scary but hopefully it'll allow you to completely focus on yourself and your health. You can get better and leaving your normal environment can really aide in that. I wish you the best in whatever comes next and will keep thinking of you as one of the artists i most enjoy following. Take care and try to treat yourself with kindness too 💛
Birkenlaubers
2025-01-12 21:53:57 +0000 UTCI will never be disappointed by someone who needs time. Your comics have truly helped me through some very difficult times in my life and I am sad to know that even with your love for these stories that they have only added to your own difficulties. I want you to know that there is at least one person out here who believes that you are strong and that you will get through this. It might take a while. And it probably will, but time doesn’t mean you’re not progressing. In fact knowing that you need time, separating yourself from something you love because you know you need it, already shows a growth and a step in the right direction. I’m not gonna lie, I really hope you can come back and finish this one day, but that’s my own selfishness. Your stories should be for you and you alone, something that you chose to share with people. I wish that even if I never see your content again, that someday soon you will have the chance to create for yourself. I know it’s difficult to grasp, it took me a while, but you do not owe me or anyone any part of you. Thank you so much for sharing not only your stories but also these bits of yourself that I have found comfort in, I am so grateful to have known you in this way. I wish you a good and restful break, and that hopefully my words have brought you at least some comfort. We love you yaa! See you when I see you <3
Sneezy
2025-01-12 21:52:56 +0000 UTCThank you so much for everything! As a fellow artist/writer, you have been an inspiration for years. I honestly study your art to try and get better lol. Now please take care of yourself.
Arc
2025-01-12 21:52:11 +0000 UTCI hope you find your way and don't give up on yourself! Thanks for telling us about your life and I wish you all the best ♡
disguised chaos
2025-01-12 21:50:47 +0000 UTCCrushed is my favourite comic and I’m truly sorry that you’ve suffered all this time. You really deserve nothing but the best and I really wish you well🩵 I will always be here to support you
Letizia Rosa
2025-01-12 21:47:08 +0000 UTCThank you for trusting us with so much raw and personal information. I have genuinely enjoyed everything you have created and I have no regrets, even with you stepping away. Thank you for everything you have done so far and thank you as well for taking care of the author I like so much! I wish you all the best, even if you never end up posting again. And while I know the following may make no difference, I want to share that I have/had depression for almost a decade. I thought it was just how I would have to live. And then one day I started waking up in the mornings and felt like I *wanted* to get out of bed and move around. And a few months later I started feeling the energy and desire to start cooking food for myself. I’m still not convinced the depression won’t come crashing back 100%, but for right now things are better. I’ve even started cleaning up my place, which has been real bad. I share this not for sympathy, but I want you to know that even if it is decades of time, there is hope that things will get better. It won’t be all at once, and it may not make sense (my meds didn’t change). I send you good thoughts and I hope you come out the other side of this metaphorical storm. Sending you virtual hugs 🫂
Scott Rayermann
2025-01-12 21:46:16 +0000 UTCTake all the time you need, even if that is all the time in the world 💖
Arc
2025-01-12 21:45:56 +0000 UTCregardless of if you ever post anything again, i’m sending you love and hope ♡ i hope you can find some joy in art again someday.
aerifia
2025-01-12 21:44:39 +0000 UTCI wish you the best on your journey. I really enjoy reading and viewing your posts/stories. Best of luck! ❤️
Ice Mochi
2025-01-12 21:41:33 +0000 UTCwishing you nothing but good health in all areas, thank you for many years of beautiful art and stories, stay truthful to your self 🍀
vic
2025-01-12 21:40:52 +0000 UTCFor whatever it’s worth if anything at all, I hope things work out, and I believe in you.
Nat
2025-01-12 21:38:03 +0000 UTC
