Problem!! 2.0
Added 2023-10-09 12:05:24 +0000 UTCAnd here are the reworks of the pages in chapter 7.
Also on the server with all chapters and deleted scenes.
You'll find a few new drawings and panel arrangements (making for two more pages than before), but I mostly tried to solve things by simply changing the dialogue. It's again not as perfect as it could be when planning the scene out like that immediately. But I also didn't want to throw ALL my already finished work away! XD
- The scene with Reuben in the forest has minor edits (overpainting the polaroid in Carter's pockets and simply nothing falling out of his pockets when he stumbles). Only attaching the last page here.
- The Leo & Henry scene ends without Carter's mental breakdown about noticing he lost the picture. So, I'm only attaching the final two pages here.
- The Lance flashbacks and Carter's interaction with his hook-up stay untouched~
I will update these scenes on Tapas & Webtoon in the next days, and after that I can finally think more about the continuation of the story than its correction.
Comments
In the old version, Scott being in love with Crush got the better of him. Here, his love for Scott is the takeaway. A big improvement.
Tom G
2023-12-26 09:29:58 +0000 UTCThe cut off was beautiful. Yes scott, you are homo. Without the hyphen.
Aniratac
2023-10-09 17:39:58 +0000 UTCThis fixes many things that would be way too complicated to do without lots of dialogue later XD Keeps the conflict between Carter and Scott without making it unredeemable.
Diego P
2023-10-09 15:49:24 +0000 UTCI read the document you posted last time and I think changing it was a good decision. Mostly because the photo would only serve to make Crush/Scott friendship irrepairable, it wouldn't really matter to the plot otherwise. But I would be fine whatever you chose to do.I'm curious about the last part you wrote about showers and Walker and whatnot will that still happen or will you discard that whole thing?
Peak
2023-10-09 15:00:13 +0000 UTCI feel like it's not really related to the reason for the change, but I like that Carter expresses his point to scott so much better in this version. "I've got a lot of problems but being gay is none of them, don't try to fix the part of me that ISN'T broken." I wasn't sure if Carter had that level of argumentative skill in him, and it's nice to see. I also like that Scott *wanting* to take the photo was retained. It's not really honed in on, but I feel like it gets at this core character flaw with him that he doesn't see any meaningful moral difference between taking a non-consentual photo of someone having sex, hooking up with a stranger, and two men having sex. To him they're all just "sinful" which reduces them to bring equally bad. Another friend of mine is writing a character with a similar mindset. They end up getting themselves into a better situation, but they never really stop thinking they that situation is just as morally bankrupt as the one they escaped-- they just have this sense of being at peace with living and loving in the wrong and accepting that they'll go to hell about it. I wonder if Scott can successfully pull off growing on more than a superficial level. I hope he can.
Lethal Butterfly
2023-10-09 13:21:09 +0000 UTCThis is amazing! I rlly think this scene works way better with Scotts Personality
Carolin Hellwig
2023-10-09 13:03:10 +0000 UTCThis is a complex scene so I was a little worried about a rewrite, but I am really impressed with how effective it is even without the photo. It's interesting for me to see this kind of writing and rewriting take place in real time. It really gets me thinking with my writer brain. Keep up the great work!
Impressively_Empty
2023-10-09 12:43:44 +0000 UTCAlways love remakes like this. Reminds me of those (many, many) episodes of Star Trek where there's an ALTERNATE TIMELINE and everything is the same but also different! Or like, evil variants of the main cast or whatever. I wonder if Scott will turn out to be the evil emperor of the world, and grow a goatee. XP
Embry-Cove
2023-10-09 12:26:04 +0000 UTCI'll have to read both versions side by side to really compare them but I think I like the new version better. Scott has a chance and opportunity to grow and get better from this. Really excited to see where you'll take it now :D
Saleb
2023-10-09 12:24:50 +0000 UTCAhhhh! Such a captivating rework, the vibe is so similar but these changes gave me such a different feel towards Scott, it fits him very well. Sooo excited to see where you take them all from here 💗
Jessica
2023-10-09 12:20:45 +0000 UTC
