(TW Loss) Update: Hurricane & Personal

Hi friends. I wanted to check in as a Floridian and let you know my plans for the impending Hurricane. I’m on the East coast of FL and the West is where it will hit the hardest it seems. Praying for everyone on the West coast, and that the storm decreases before making landfall.

Hurricanes are unpredictable. My son’s school is closed here tentatively planning to open Friday. People here are preparing for the winds, floods, and power outages.

We are lucky to be in a safe space for this one and just praying everyone stays safe and has all they need to get through this. The last hurricane and the devastation in N C was shocking and my prayers are with the communities impacted. I’ve seen some stories creators have shared about their experiences and can hardly imagine what they have gone through. And while I feel safe where I am I realize hurricanes can go off course or cause destruction unpredictably.

On an unrelated personal level, I have had some issues to deal with and while I’m preparing for the storm I’m sort of navigating my own as well.

Trigger warning for the below (loss)

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I’m presently experiencing a miscarriage. I didn’t know if I should tell anyone and certainly want to avoid sharing anything that would upset those who have gone through this kind of loss, but I want to be candid and think it is important to acknowledge these experiences. I don’t want to pretend everything is fine when it’s really not at the moment and that is ok.

It’s early so, I understand things could be worse. But I’m deeply heart broken, and unfamiliar with this process. My husband and I have been trying for about a year and we were cautiously so happy to find out we were pregnant. Truly a rollercoaster that took us up - now crashing down.

I’m dealing with all the bad feelings and thoughts now, letting myself feel but also trying not to get stuck in those feelings. Reassuring myself everything will be ok, everything is as it should be (even if it feels so cruel now), these experiences unfortunately are very common, and while of course I would wish no one ever has to go through it- the fact is we do and I’m in good company. The life experience is rich with highs and lows and this is a low I need to honor and get through.

I had plans to make several videos this week but with the storm and this experience I think it’s best I lay low and let the waves have their way for a bit. Let myself cry and mourn and deal with the physical experience.

This community (and the YouTube ppl as well, who I plan to share with) has been the most supportive (internet) friend group I could ever imagine. Thank you for the good vibes, empathy, encouragement and inspiration. I appreciate you always 🙏💚💚💚