monthly blog post: april 🍀

april favorites 

book: I HAVENT READ SHIT LATELY DEAR LORD THE ONLY BOOK I READ WAS THE TAINTED CUP LOL

skincare product: been using castor oil and hyaluronic acid as a lip mask lately and they’re so HYDRATED

body care: OBSESSED. OBSESSED WITH PAULA’S CHOICE SMOOTH FINISH CONDITIONER. as someone who can’t use fragrance in any of their products, it was honestly a struggle to find a good conditioner that didn’t smell weird and also worked well. WELL HERE IT IS!! THE PRODUCT OF MY DREAMS!! paula’s choice never fails me

makeup product: i hate to say it but dior highlighters are unmatched .. been using the Dior Forever Glow Luminizer over my blush and i swear this gives me the best ‘glow from within’ look- i love it bc its glowy but not too sparkly

snack: not really a snack but i’ve been obsessed with teas lately and the Trader Joe’s Earl Grey tea hates to see me comin

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april thoughts: 

HIIIIIIIIIII EEEEEEPPPP

i was talking to sean today about how i think i am the happiest i’ve ever been in my life. and that’s a bold statement to say like there are of course things that still affect my mental but i feel like i finally .. love myself?! and i love that i can say that!!!!! i have never felt so structurally sound LOL idk exactly where this shift came from but i can feel it in the way interact with the world and i am so at peace that it brings me genuine bliss :’) i think i prob wouldn’t have gotten here so quickly in a vacuum like the love i receive from john and my friends and family is so abundant that i think it has helped me a lot (so has therapy). i told sean something that helped me love myself was actually just having people see me and all my flaws and STILL accept and love me.

its such a weird shift to experience bc i think before i wouldn’t celebrate my successes or mean comments would affect me a little bit more but now i feel more… aware? im not sure how to express that LOL like i will read a really mean comment towards me, my appearance, my attitude, etc and im just like *shrug* “well they dont know me!” or its just blah. I DONT KNOW HOW OR WHERE THIS SHIFT CAME FROM OTHER THAN YEARS AND YEARS OF THERAPY BUT I JUST AM AT PEACE AND SO EXCITED TO CONTINUE TO WORK ON MYSELF

following that thought, i’ve started to see results from working out and that is really fulfilling like WOW the body is so cool!! i really love the idea of shifting my identity to be who i want to be and that i am capable of applying that to any area of my life bc i can do it w the gym :D HERES TO CREATING SUSTAINABLE CHANGES IN OUR DAILY LIFES YIPEEEEEE

i love you all, i can feel myself coming out of my cocoon and it makes me so excited FOR FUTURE CONTENT EEEEEPP like i think about washington content with syd and john and sean and i CANT WAIT