EARLY ACCESS: DEAR JOHN VS. WOULD'VE COULD'VE SHOULD'VE TAYLOR SWIFT
Added 2023-08-07 01:00:02 +0000 UTC🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨You will need to input a password on Vimeo to access the videos. The password is changed often. The current password will aways be pinned in the welcome post at the top of the main feed. If you have trouble finding the Welcome pinned post then try the following:
If you are using Patreon on your DESKTOP:
1) Click on Songs From A Suitcase profile name or picture in any post. That will bring you to the main page.
2) Go to the pinned post at the top saying WELCOME. The password will be in that post.
If you are using Patreon on your PHONE APP:
1) Click on Songs From A Suitcase profile picture to get to the main page.
2) Click the search bar on the right and put in the word BAAGEL (but use one “A” instead of two AA)
This will bring up a post with the password.
https://vimeo.com/850795978?share=copy
Comments
thank you so much for sharing your story with me. You are an amazinly strong person and I see such wonderful things coming to you.
Audrey McDonald ( Songs From A Suitcase)
2023-08-27 08:19:39 +0000 UTCThe first time I heard WCS I cried so hard but it was also strangely so cathartic and validating. While I have come such a long way in my own personal healing journey, so much of this mirrors my own trauma and it gave me a song to sort of sing/yell/cry along to when I am having a moment of feeling super vulnerable about anything that makes me feel how I felt when I was 19 (or even younger) again. I do think my experience was different than Taylor’s, though - in many ways, of course. When I was growing up I definitely felt broken, like something was wrong with me, and also I never wanted to date anyone but I thought I was supposed to. I thought that everyone was supposed to date and fall in love and have “a person” (specifically in my case, “a man”). Additionally one of my parents’ was very mentally unstable and was often manipulative, controlling, and even emotionally abusive at times. Eventually, when I was 18, I agreed to date the first guy who showed interest in me once I decided that I “should” date. It went very badly - very, very badly. Emotional manipulation, assault, eventual harassment even after the breakup, etc. So, when I hear the line “memories feel like weapons” it is one of the most poetic ways of saying “I have PTSD” that I have ever heard, especially when paired with the line about “stained glass windows in my mind.” I feel so grateful that I am at a point now where I don’t spend all of my time regretting past experiences. Similarly to you I am glad that I know more about myself, about boundaries, and about the kind of experiences I want to have in my life and the kind that I don’t. And I also think part of my initial problem was my naïveté to the fact that the toxicity I was used to not being normal or healthy, so I am glad I know what I know about that now. And I fully understand not missing who I used to be in some ways, because who I was was a child who didn’t have strong boundaries and didn’t know how to love myself and who gave up way too damn much for everyone else at my own expense. But, I do miss the part of me who wasn’t yet afraid of myself. The part of me who didn’t feel like I couldn’t trust myself to pick people or places. The part of me who I have been getting back these past few years with a lot of hard work. And now, flash forward, turns out I am a pretty smart, capable, funny, compassionate, helpful, talented person full of potential and I am way more than I ever thought I was or could be when I was living in a character concept my hometown, society, and parents had constructed for me.
rapid-ren
2023-08-24 06:58:40 +0000 UTCThe very first time I heard WCS I sobbed because it reminded me of my relationship with my ex husband. We met at 19 and although there wasn’t an age gap he was very abusive. So many lines remind me of what an abusive or toxic relationship feels like. Stained glass windows in my mind - everything I see now is through the filter of what happened. It’s like the whole world changed and I can’t see it properly. Questioning if I’m seeing or understanding what’s happening correctly because for years I was told I was crazy. Memories feel like weapons - even with therapy and being almost 5 years removed from the relationship a memory will pop up or something will happen and it brings me right back. So many memories that I thought were happy actually weren’t. It’s like 10 years of my life was destroyed. And knowing she wrote this after seeing him at the 2021 Grammys, even when she probably thought she had healed, goes to show that often times these types of relationships really do change who you are as a person. You have to put in a lot of work to be able to move forward and often that work lasts your entire life.
Marissa Boyd
2023-08-18 18:17:47 +0000 UTCThe girl hood line was a gut punch in part of what me starting to listen to taylor. ( I am a therapist and you couldn't be a therapist without hearing about taylor's new album). I had a grooming situation with a friend's father and taking away my girlhood, really, really really pit words to q feeling I had. I feel like I read somewhere that she wrote this after seeing him perform at some awards show. It sounds like it was a really big trigger to set her off. I hope that she's beginning or continuing to grow and heal. This is raw.
Meghan
2023-08-16 11:43:48 +0000 UTCI like,👌🏼Dear John. It’s such a tragical🥺song🎧(they both are) but it’s beautiful👌🏼in its purity.🕊️That combination🪢at the end of each line,✍🏼📝is actually the best🤩part in this song.🎧I like👌🏼and dislike,👎🏼Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve. It’s also raw🤲🏼and intense.😓The looping➿is like being stuck doing the same thing over➰and over,➰but it speaks🗣️to her emotions.😣 It will always👈🏼be one1️⃣sided or no👎🏼sided. The much🤲🏼older man👨🏻took advantage of this young woman,👩🏼and so much🤲🏼comes along with that.👈🏼Most🤲🏼times⌚️in these👉🏼circumstances, the individual that’s being manipulated😵💫can not see👀what’s happening until👈🏼they are completely🤲🏼out of and away from that person. They are so deep,😮💨stuck in the other person’s delusion😵💫and control.😣The are literally👉🏼oppressed and don’t👎🏼know it. It takes time⌚️to get over trauma, there is no guideline. Everyone🤲🏼and every🤲🏼situation is different.☝🏼 My take for, Now that I’m grown, I’m scared of ghosts,👻is she can see👀the truth, is afraid🫣that she’ll live with this👇🏼trauma😣forever and won’t👎🏼be able to heal❤️🩹from it. And when you can’t👎🏼heal,❤️🩹you can’t👎🏼let it🫳🏼go. By let it🫳🏼go, I don’t👎🏼necessarily mean forget,💭just move on.👈🏼When you are truly healed❤️🩹from situations,🤲🏼there is no👎🏼more hurt or pain. You don’t👎🏼have regret,🙁shame,😳anger😠or any negative📉emotions associated🤲🏼with it anymore. The line,✍🏼📝Memories feel like weapons,🗡️is speaking🗣️to her👉🏼past affecting her👉🏼future. The reoccurrence➿of her trauma😣invading her👇🏼present life and self.🤲🏼It can be tormenting😔to go through traumatic😣events and it can stay with you for a very long time.⌚️She was torn down👇🏼by the public🫣and people that were close to her.😳They judged👨🏻⚖️her because of this☝🏼situation, even though she👈🏼was the innocent person. People won’t👎🏼let her forget💭and continue to talk🗣️about it. So even when she heals,❤️🩹they won’t👎🏼let her forget💭it, which is cruel and tormenting.😣 I only spoke🗣️on those lines✍🏼📝cause this☝🏼could go on forever. These🤲🏼topics are absolutely important👌🏼and good to speak🗣️about. You never know🤔what you can learn📚when you choose to listen🎧to the experience,🤲🏼opinions💬and advice of others.👈🏼If you want to get deeper,🤲🏼or if you don’t👎🏼I support you either way. The most important👌🏼thing is your comfort. Thank you.😌This was a fab🤩react video.👀🎊📹
Koko
2023-08-12 21:34:19 +0000 UTCWould’ve could’ve should’ve From my perspective: it feels like the dynamics of the relationship were deeply traumatizing . Reflected by ‚the wounds won’t close‘. As a teen something similar ish happened to me. As a 43 year old adult I am doing well and healthy and had all the therapy. But——‚im scared of ghosts‘ and ‘memories feel like weapons’ —-triggers can hit sometimes out of nowhere. Even as a healed adjusted adult.
Krie
2023-08-12 15:54:37 +0000 UTCSo, my take on the her missing who she used to be and that "innocence" is more about her creating a cycle of unhealthy and toxic relationships from this. I think it was her first more serious "adult" relationship. And, then right after that she was with Jake Gyllenhaal. Another one where he was older. It was only a 9 years difference, but still older. And her song all too well seems like he gaslit their entire relationship. That it was much more one sided than she thought it was. There's a part towards the end where she just keeps saying "I was there" almost as a mantra of like, I'm not crazy...I know how he felt and what I felt. Then she was with Harry Styles, and while maybe not toxic, it was..."Trouble". So, I think this was just the beginning of a cycle of toxic relationships. Like you said, it usually starts somewhere.
Kristen J
2023-08-12 04:48:57 +0000 UTCSo listening to Dear John (TV) again and I think the lyrics "Counting my footsteps Praying the floor won't fall through again" is another way of saying she felt the need to walk on egg shells with him because it was so easy for him to give her love and then take it away given other lyrics in the song
Jay Johnston
2023-08-11 20:44:58 +0000 UTCYour reaction to WCS made me tear up a little bit, and I love and appreciate your honesty. Coming from the family of chaos and mental health issues it feels so so difficult to this day to just leave it in the past and let it go. But as you said it’s better for your own life and your chosen family.
Ana
2023-08-08 07:57:21 +0000 UTCIts amazing how we can look at trauma as something that makes us stronger and better instead of something that takes us down
Audrey McDonald ( Songs From A Suitcase)
2023-08-08 03:17:33 +0000 UTCoh good! I enjoyed opening up a little more as well
Audrey McDonald ( Songs From A Suitcase)
2023-08-08 03:10:46 +0000 UTCdude no worries ont he long tangent. Those are always welcome here hahah! Yea she seems like she writing to us and about things that touch us. I totally agree. ...and yes I'm pretty chill to ahng out with haha
Audrey McDonald ( Songs From A Suitcase)
2023-08-08 03:09:33 +0000 UTCaw🤗
Audrey McDonald ( Songs From A Suitcase)
2023-08-08 03:06:31 +0000 UTCi totally agree!
Audrey McDonald ( Songs From A Suitcase)
2023-08-08 03:06:15 +0000 UTCI love that shes reflecting back
Audrey McDonald ( Songs From A Suitcase)
2023-08-08 03:05:36 +0000 UTCA very tiny bit of info. She wrote this song when she was 32 looking back realising she was the same age as he was when he did this to her. The entire album of Midnights she wrote about things that looking back over the years kept her up at night. Things she couldn't shake as life went on. She repeated his mistakes through her life till she found Joe (Although split now). She missed her innocence and what her life could have been but she has moved on from him. Honestly this song hits me every damn time because we've all been there with someone who made you feel amazing but then flipped it on a dime and made you feel like you were at fault. I dunno after just getting divorced myself I can relate to WSC really hard. Which is a Taylor special because her lyrics are phenomenal.
Laydee Lozza
2023-08-07 23:41:24 +0000 UTCI feel like Taylor songs are so deeply relatable that you can’t help but apply them to situations you’ve experienced in your own life and I think that’s what’s endeared her to so many people and why people have continued to stick with her through the genre changes… because that backbone of great writing is still there regardless of whether it’s pop, country or indie
Liam Mcfarlane
2023-08-07 16:40:08 +0000 UTCI sobbed when I first heard WCS
Dannie
2023-08-07 16:32:37 +0000 UTCShe was actually 17 but she said they didn't start dating until she was 18 to make it sound better.
Heida
2023-08-07 06:38:07 +0000 UTCThis is one of my favourite Tay Swift songs, I relate to it so much and I can feel her pain. When this song first came out and I heard it, it felt like I'd been punched in the gut, but strangely in a good way. I definitely found this song therapeutic to finally get over the last hurdle of my own trauma. When I was 14-16 I was in my first relationship, to start it was great and then it turned dark quickly, I went through physical, mental and sexual abuse at such a young age that it sort of messed my love map up. I was weary of men for a long time. I haven't been in a relationship since, have been on dates etc but now I'm just too comfortable being alone 😂 Sorry for the tangent and spilling my guts! All I mean is, even though many of us won't have gone through exactly what Taylor has, she writes her songs in a way that makes them relatable. I've grown up listening to Taylor, I'm now 32 and couldn't imagine dating a 19 year old! No thanks. Anyway, I also like it when you dive into your personal life, definitely feels relatable and you seem like you'd be a cool person to hang out with! Sorry for the long post, deep personal details and tangent 🙈😂
Leanne W
2023-08-07 05:42:39 +0000 UTCI loved this video and this was the first time I heard Would've Should've Could've. I like the song and your analysis of the song as well. I love Dear John. It's been one of my favorite songs from hers for years now. I would be interested in watching you react to Demi Lovato's song 29. It's about Wilmer Valderrama who was Dating Demi Lovato when he was 29 and she was 19 so it has a similar message to these songs.
Lydia Shepard
2023-08-07 03:16:50 +0000 UTCI love your vocal analysis but I love when you get personal too. Taylor Swift’s success is largely due to her song writing and her relatability. So it’s great to see the lyric breakdowns and to hear your own take on it.
Elizabeth
2023-08-07 03:07:13 +0000 UTCShe actually wrote it in (I think) 2021 after seeing john preform at the Grammys. I think all of the emotions were brought up by seeing him again. With the speech she gave about dear john at the eras tour a few months ago, I feel like she’s in a better place with it.
Elizabeth
2023-08-07 03:01:35 +0000 UTCTaylor wrote WCS when she was 32 thinking back to when she was nineteen and really realizing how utterly mess up that situation was. You can really feel her anger through the song. I know songwriting is therapeutic for her so I really hope that she is able to let that anger go now and be in a better place.
Annie Willow
2023-08-07 02:48:01 +0000 UTCSo I have two thoughts on this 1) I have mixed on age gaps, likely cause I come from a family where my parents had a large age gap and cause I've been in relationships with age gaps both small and large. My parents were 17 years apart but had also met when my mom was 27 and already had a kid. They divorced when I was 2 but they remained friends and co-parented as well as my mom's mental illness allowed. He even lived with us on and off to help avoid us being taken by the government. That being said I think with age gaps it depends on stages of life. At 13 I was with someone who was 16/17 which if you look at the age gap doesn't seem too horrible but a 16/17 year old is in a completely different stage of life than a 13 year old. 2) Would've Could've Should've reminds me of a conversation I had with an old counselor I saw for therapy. I originally met her when I was 16 as she worked with the youth group I went to at the 2SLGBTQ+ center she worked at. During one of my sessions when I was 22 or 23 she made a comment to me about how I've always been very mature for my age ever since she met me and without skipping a beat I went "thanks it's the trauma" without even thinking of who I was saying it to. It opened up an entire conversation I was not prepared for that day about trauma making me have to grow up faster than most of the people I was friends with and made me feel like I lost out on a lot of things my friends got to experience even once we were all grown
Jay Johnston
2023-08-07 01:57:22 +0000 UTC
