Board & Conquest 122: Half-Moon

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As per procedure, Project Artemis’ department heads gathered in Castle Neigebleue to discuss their findings. 

Half the nations involved had sent representatives, some of whom Peridot could have done without. Sharing the same room as Margrave Boltro—the same undead general who had besieged his capital a year ago—annoyed him to his core, but he remained professional enough to shoulder it. Alliances shifted quickly in this world, and the threat hanging above their heads threatened all their nations. The other people present included Bernard, Rhine, Mistouffe, and their newest addition, Bishop Imothep of Sekhem.

“According to our astronomers, the next meteorite rain is scheduled to fall in three days,” Peridot said upon beginning the meeting. “Report.”

“I am pleased to say that over nine soldiers out of ten passed the special room training,” Margrave Boltro said. “They are now apt to fight in space.”

“What of the pilots?” Peridot asked. 

“Eh… it’s a work in progress. Moving from commanding galleys to flying ships is a big step for many, and the mimic flight simulators often bite back.”

Rhine, the Andvari representative—and Captain Kale’s girlfriend—spoke up next. “Construction of the saucers continues on our end, but… uh…” She scratched the back of her head. “I won’t lie, it’s a lot tougher to assemble these ships by hand instead of just spawning them out like your castle does, especially considering all the restrictions we’ve had to follow to maximize secrecy. We’re way behind projections.”

“Are these tight procedures necessary?” Bishop Imothep asked. A lovely young cleric angel with curled blonde hair and white wings, he served as overseer of the flying island they planned to use as both an assembly center and launching pad. “Our workers have been thoroughly tested for parasites already.”

“There have been too many leaks in the past for infiltrated lunarians alone,” Peridot replied, his burning gaze turning to Boltro. “Especially from the Mortis side.”

“Well…” Boltro coughed up dust. “Undead are immune to mind-control, not to bribes.” 

“Hence why our troops are not to leave the castle until we begin the actual operation,” Peridot said. As much as he trusted his own troops, he couldn’t rule out the possibility that one or two were on Beelzebub’s take. “What of the… other ships, Bernard?”

“I have good news and bad news,” the yeti replied. “On the bright side, production of mimicships is proceeding apace, and we should have enough to form a functional fleet by the time the next volley of Dragonstars rolls around in spite of Lady Glatisant’s insistence that we also produce a few living dungeons on the weekends.”

“Uh-huh, and the bad news?”

Bernard cleared his throat. “I must confess that the ‘cow obsession’ flaw remains unpatchable, in spite of all of our best attempts. This problem appears unsolvable.”

Peridot sighed while the rest of the council stifled their laughter. He had expected as much. “Why cows, Bernard?” the general asked. “Why cows specifically?”

“It’s not always cows; they also abducted a couple of teenage minotaurs making love in the back of a cart,” Bernard replied as if that somehow made it any better. “They said they found the experience highly stimulating and decided to name their firstborn son ‘Space Cowboy’ to celebrate the occasion.”

“I just do not understand the logic behind this bizarre obsession,” Peridot admitted. That enigma kept puzzling him. “We’ve proof-tested them with half the animal kingdom. Elephants, bugs, lizards, chinchillas, they fly by without problems, but cows? Cows distract them like catnip does with a feline. So please explain to me, in the simplest possible terms, what could possibly drive that behavior.”

“I’m sorry, Sir, I have no explanation that a rational mind like yours could accept.” Bernard looked wistfully out of the council room’s window. “Like dragons, nature still hasn’t revealed all of its secrets yet.”

“These are giant saucer-shaped flying chests birthed by a living castle!” Peridot snapped. “There is nothing natural about them!”

“Is that truly an issue?” Rhine inquired. “Lord Ganesha’s followers are forbidden from harming cows, and we adapted well to that restriction, besides the occasional traffic jam.”

“Do you not see the tactical limitations of a fleet that will drop everything to chase after anything vaguely bovine-shaped?” Peridot asked very, very calmly. 

“And the shepherd budget is out of control, too!” Mistouffe complained. “Not only do we have to pay settlements so they don’t talk about the abductions, but they’re asking for triple the pay to resume work! Dairy prices have risen through the roof!”

“That’s a living world problem,” Margrave Boltro said dismissively. 

“Unfortunately, I fear we have run out of time and resources to spend on correcting that flaw, so we will have to work around it,” Peridot grumbled in defeat. He had a few ideas to potentially mitigate that crippling vulnerability, but each tactic carried its own risks. “I would rather use reliable, andvari-built ships as our vanguard, but we’ll have to settle on the mimicships for now.”

“About that, may I ask a question?” Bernard inquired. “I’ve spoken with the crews training at Castle Neigebleue, and while they are trained to operate the controls, they seem under the impression that they will board normal ships rather than mimicships.” 

“Yes indeed, that’s exactly what we told them,” Peridot said. “And this information will stay between us until then.”

—---

Damning images appeared on the System screen in the depths of Titanspace. 

“Lord Wepwawet wants us to use the ship as a weapon?” That awful naga-Champion Zhang hissed, his voice reverberating. “This is madness.” 

That wench of a human Champion, Victoire, nodded firmly. “Our goal is not necessarily to conquer Lune, but to destroy Beelzebub’s Idol and the Gravitational Engines. According to Lord Wepwaet, a spaceship isn’t needed when a ‘missile’ can do the work.”

“Still, filling the ship with explosives, sending it to Lune, and using a Miracle to maximize the damage…” Zhang shook his head. “It will wipe out the city and all of its denizens along with Beelzebub’s Idol. The ship’s records indicate that potentially thousands of abducted slaves live there.”

“I understand this option may seem… extreme, and I wish we had another option, but the loss of a thousand lives on the moon will pale compared to the millions who will perish if the Dragonstar rains keep coming down. Should the Fourth Incursion strike before we find another way to Lune…” Victoire let out a sigh. “Then I’m sorry, but sacrifices will have to be made.”

Zhang pondered her words a moment, clearly torn in spite of it being by far the best plan to take out the opposition. “I need more time,” he said. “Reviving the dead colonists has proved impossible, and recovering information from the ship is difficult even for me.”

“It’s a shame their stasis failed long before we found the ship,” Victoire muttered. “How many days?”

“At least three more.”

“So we should be able to launch right after the next Dragonstars rain?”

“At the earliest, if all other options have been exhausted.”

Victoire Fleurot scowled. “We will do what we can.”

Beelzebub stopped the recording there and faced his so-called ‘masters.’ “Do you see now why I called for an emergency meeting?”

“When was this taken?” Whiro’s shadow rasped. 

“Yesterday,” Beelzebub replied. He had asked for a meeting as soon as he received the information. “One of the smallest Brood drones managed to slip past their defenses and record this.”

“My children once again prove more useful than you will ever be, Beelzebub,” Tiamat hissed at the god. She still hadn’t gotten over her past defeat. “At least Thoon the Betrayer is confirmed dead.”

“These Champions would never be foolish enough to discuss something so sensitive in the open,” Lord Apep replied almost immediately. “This has to be either a trap or a decoy.”

“Their gods are fearsome tricksters both,” Hastur commented, his calm tone still carrying the sting of his loss to Set’s bastard and Sun Wukong. “I smell deceit.”

“My spies reported a military buildup in Sekhem and orbital pictures point to the creation of a factory there,” Beelzebub said. “They have to be building ships or weapons there using the schematics of Thoon’s vessel.”

“Bah, who cares if they build ships?” Old Kronos thundered. “My turn is around the corner, and I need no bugs to win! My deck is at the top of the B&C meta!” 

“This is most troublesome nonetheless,” Lord Apep said, his immense eyes squinting at the screen thoughtfully. “Lunarian technology would allow Elphion’s civilizations to develop far too fast. If you fail to destroy Elphion or damage it enough to prevent it from starting an industrial age by the time my own Incursion comes around… then I will have to fall upon our final backup plan. A far less optimal outcome than I would have hoped.”

Beelzebub could almost see the gears turning in the old serpent’s head and remained quiet while he analyzed the situation. The fly god had been on thin ice over the last year due to his lack of progress in taking out local deities in spite of all of his best efforts. 

How could he have known that Wepwawet’s stolen Miracle would let him find his hidden agents?! The bloodline of that bastard Set continued to hound him constantly. 

“Has your drone seen Thoon’s remains, Young Baal?” Lord Apep finally asked.

“No, Sir,” Beelzebub replied. 

“Then he will be assumed alive until proven otherwise. Destroy the ship, confirm the demise of all lunarians inside, and annihilate all the information that it contains. Do the same with that Sekhem facility if the threat is confirmed beyond doubt. The next meteorite rain should provide ample cover for this operation.” Lord Apep marked a short pause. “You'll then begin overheating the Gravitational Engines.”

“What?” Beelzebub choked. “Sir, I’ll have a rebellion on my hands if I do that! I won’t be able to hide the engines’ true purpose for long, and the lunarians will revolt once they figure it out! Their arrogance is only matched by their survival instinct!”

“It is a risk you will have to take. We no longer have the luxury of boiling the frog now that the young gods have found lunarian technology to harvest.”

“I’ll consume every soul on Lune when my Incursion ends anyway,” Kronos said with a malicious chuckle. “The young are the food of the old.”

“Death comes for all mortals,” Hastur commented. “The sooner the better.”

“Overheating the engines now will maximize the damage of the next meteorite bombardment, and Kronos’ Incursion should occur soon after, according to my calculations,” Lord Apep stated. “Should you succeed in devastating their defenses and volunteer for the next battle, then we shall reward your loyalty with the restoration of your lost power once the Fourth Incursion concludes.”

Beelzebub buzzed in anticipation. At long last, he would shed this horrible bug-shaped prison of a form and become the storm again! He would regain his lost glory, stand among the Titans as an equal rather than a subordinate, and smile as the cosmos shuddered at his return–

“However…”

Beelzebub winced as Lord Apep’s tone turned eminently menacing. 

“I have warned you that while I can overlook the occasional mistake, I would not tolerate a pattern of incompetence.” Lord Apep’s baleful glare became an eclipse, shadowing all of Titanspace. “I've found your performance thus far tragically underwhelming. You failed to capitalize on the captive Archon, failed to destabilize the nations of Elphion, failed to leverage your civilization’s advanced technology and abilities, and now failed to locate the rogue lunarian before our opposition. Your few successes hardly compensate for all of these mishaps.”

Beelzebub cowered as the hungry shadows coiled all around him, ready to consume his mana and toss him into the void of space. 

“This is your last chance, Young Baal,” Lord Apep warned. “Do not waste it.”

“I-I won’t, Sir!”

“I hope you do,” Old Kronos taunted him with a toothy, all-consuming grin. “I haven’t eaten a god in a while.”

Baalzebub was brutally flung back to Lune, his spirit incarnating again in his Idol. All of his Influence still shivered at the thought of Kronos swallowing him whole like he did with his children many eons ago. He still recalled Poseidon’s tales of the experience back when their pantheons still coexisted.  

The message had been passed along perfectly. 

“All troops, get ready to take off for Elphion in three days,” Beelzebub telepathically ordered his Champions. “It’s time to bomb the apes back to the Stone Age.”

—---

A handful of days later…

“Is this confirmed?” Wepwawet asked Sagesse at the Verglane observatory.

“There’s no doubt about it,” his astronomer insisted. “The moons’ pace has accelerated in the last three days to roughly twice the usual rate. I fear the next meteorite rain will hit harder than projected.” 

So right after Victoire allowed that brood scout to slip in, Wepwawet thought. He had expected Beelzebub to do something drastic in response, but this begged the question of why he hadn’t done that from the start. “Could the moons potentially collide at this rate?”

“It’s… it’s a possibility, if the acceleration continues. An unlikely and terrifying possibility, I might add.”

“Terrifying to the lunarians too,” Wepwawet said grimly. Crashing the moons had probably been Beelzebub’s plan from the start, but he feared a revolt among his civilization if he played his hand too hard or too early. If he’s abandoning subtlety, then it means he doesn’t plan to stick around much longer anyway. 

All according to their calculations. 

“Keep monitoring things and keep me informed,” Wepwawet ordered Sagesse before retreating to his shared realm of Influence, where all of his godly allies already awaited him. “So?”

“So that foolish fly bought it,” Anansi confirmed. “Crafty confirmed ships are ready to depart Lune as soon as the next meteorite rain hits us, and they’re all aiming for Sekhem.” 

“Which means the Verglane fleet hasn’t been discovered yet,” Ishtar said, her eyes turning to Horus. “Are your troops ready, Lovebird?”

“Yes.” Horus crossed his arms. “This will be a tough fight, but I’m sure we can win it.”

“Multiple Brood hives are also converging towards Thoon’s ship,” Artemis warned them. “My scouts spotted thousands of them.”

“We’ve finished placing the decoys, too,” Sun Wukong said with a big, wide grin. “They’re indistinguishable from the real ones, and my Providence won’t run out anytime soon.”

“Our enemies wouldn’t mobilize so many resources if they planned for a long war,” Epona noted. “You were right. The Fourth Incursion must be set to take place in the next few days.”

“Then all the pieces are in place.” Wepwawet clenched his fist. “Operation Flyswatter has begun.”

Beelzebub thought this would be the decisive battle. 

They would ensure it would be his last. 

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Next Chapter

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A/N: phew, that buildup lasted waaaaay longer than I would have wanted, but we're finally beginning the decisive battle with Beelzebub next chap.