The Batman Cast So Far (VIDEO SCRIPT)

Readers, I haven’t done a video about Warner Brothers and DC Films’s upcoming movie “The Batman” ever since Ben Affleck was still attached to the project...which was over 2 years ago

I’m not gonna link it, find that shit yourself

Since then, Matt Reeves beat out George Miller and Dennis Villeneuve as the new director of the movie

Ben Affleck’s script was completely rewritten to be unassociated with the current state of the DCEU as we know it

And Affleck himself left the DCEU, which resulted in the rumor mill regarding DC Films going in a new direction after Justice League to have a lot more merit to it despite Aquaman’s success and the upcoming sequel to Wonder Woman that I’m still waiting for a trailer for

But it wasn’t until after...Robert Pattinson was cast as Bruce Wayne/Batman that we started to get a slew of casting news for the film once it was announced that the script for The Batman was finished.

And as someone who has not talked about this movie... in video format... in 2 YEARS

I figured I’d take a look at all of the current cast members of Matt Reeves’ The Batman that have been announced and share my thoughts

So let’s start with Robert Pattinson as Bruce Wayne/Batman. Alright.

“But La’Ron, he was in Twilight; he’s gonna make Batman look like a bitch” I DON’T...CARE

More specifically, I don’t care what roles Pattinson had in the past

I didn’t care for Twilight either, but The Lighthouse and the other movies he’s been in since then have proven that he’s one hell of an actor. Otherwise Matt Reeves wouldn’t have chosen him.

Let me watch the movie. Let me see his performance. Let me decide whether or not he deserved to put on the cape and cowl FROM SAID PERFORMANCE

And not from any other body of work he was in previously that whack-ass man-babies only bring up as a negative because said body of work wasn’t aimed toward them and because they hate women having shit that makes them happy

I am a 31 year old man; I don’t have time for this foolishness.

Alright. That probably got rid of like...2/3rds of this video’s viewership. But that’s fine. Lets continue for the non-problematic Readers

Jeffrey Wright as Commissioner Gordon. I take that back. NOW that 2/3rds are gone

Honestly when I found out the news, I was surprised yet impressed

I first found out about Jeffrey Wright when he played the villain in Sam Jackson’s first Shaft movie, which I admit was not the best of impressions

But after seeing him in the Daniel Craig Bond films and the Hunger Games series, I realized that there was definitely more to his acting skills that meets the eye.

And don’t worry, Readers. The only reason why I haven’t mentioned Westworld...is because I haven’t seen Westworld

Like...ANY of it.

I’m sure it’s good, though

Just like Commissioner Loeb being cast as a black man in the first two Nolanverse Batman movies, despite him being white in Batman Year One

The decision to cast a black man as Jim isn’t a problem with me, especially since there’s nothing ABOUT the character in the comics and the overall Batman mythos that REQUIRES him to be a white guy

Believe me, I’ve LOOKED.

And also, from the looks of it, the hoes that are mad about it aren’t really mad about Jim Gordon being black. They’re mad at the possibility of Barbara Gordon -- aka Batgirl -- being black as a result

And said hoes that are trying to be a victim about the shit are screaming things like, “but Ginger representation tho,” and I’m just...that one scene of Dave Chappelle from Chappelle’s show shoving that one woman out of my way by her face.

Speaking of which, let’s talk about newcomer Jayme Lawson

No, I’m not even joking about that. As soon as she graduated from Julliard, Matt Reeves was like, “You wanna be in my Batman movie?”

Now the only reason why I said speaking of which, is because her role was unknown upon her announcement. Which lead to people assuming that she was playing Barbara Gordon

But from reports, she’s actually playing a new role exclusive to the movie named Bella, who io9 says is -- and I quote -- a grassroots political candidate running for office in Gotham.

Also, let’s just push aside the whole “They recently announced that a black guy is playing Jim Gordon so she MUST be playing Barbara” argument. Because the basis of that take is just as tired and racist as Donald Trump.

We have to take into consideration that according to Matt Reeves, while most of his rogues gallery will already exist during the timeframe of the movie, this story is still going to star a fairly new and young Batman

So considering that Robert Pattinson is in his early 30’s, this is a movie focusing on Batman becoming “The World’s Greatest Detective,” and the fact that the Dick Grayson iteration of Robin was chronologically introduced BEFORE Barbara in the comics

I’m gonna safely say that Jayme ISN’T portraying Barbara Gordon and that the original character Bella that’s been reported has more merit behind it

Now let’s talk about Zoe Kravitz as Selina Kyle/Catwoman

(Looks at screen with a smile and clasped hands for a while. Then brings clasped hands to face)

So when I first heard the news that Catwoman was gonna be in The Batman, I was immediately stoked at the idea of Selina finally being in the first installment of a Batman film

Personally I prefer Selina as a socialite thief like she was portrayed in Batman: The Animated Series and The Dark Knight Rises rather than...however the fuck Frank Miller likes to write her

And considering that this movie is looking to take inspiration from the Jeph Loeb/Tim Sale trilogy and bits of Year One, I’m hoping that might be the case

In the case of Zoe Kravitz playing her? Once again; there isn’t anything specific in Batman lore that requires Selina Kyle to be white

Even if you’re going the route of Selina being the bastard child of Carmine Falcone if this movie is in fact taking inspiration from Loeb and Sale’s stories; that story element doesn’t go away just because she’s being portrayed by a person of color

ALSO: There has NEVER been a bad actress that has ever portrayed Selina Kyle

Even how she was portrayed in Gotham was great. And I fucking HATE Gotham

Give me socialite Selina instead of prostitute Selina. Give me bomb-ass chemistry between her and Bruce. And give me inner conflict and turmoil BECAUSE of said chemistry.

Basically, I want Zoe to kill it. I want her to kill it so bad. I’m in her corner 100%

Paul Dano as the Riddler. (Pauses, stares confusedly at the computer screen). Why is this Gene Wilder’s illegitimate child, though...?

I mean, he LOOKS like a Riddler, I’ll give him that much.

As far as Dano himself? I-I’m just gonna press the Keke Palmer Button...

(“Sorry To This Man” meme)

Colin Farrell as the Penguin. I’m not gonna lie; this announcement threw me...absolutely off.

And not because I feared another version of his portrayal as Bullseye in the Ben Affleck Daredevil movie; I’m absolutely sure he wants to move on from that as much as we do...

No, it’s because out of all of the actors I could see playing Oswald Cobbelpot, Colin Farrel was NEVER on my radar.

Can he do it? I am absolutely sure he can

And considering Colin Farrell is 10 years older than Pattinson, I’m assuming they’re going the route of The Waynes vs The Cobblepots as far as being the most recognized family in Gotham with Oswald being jaded that the Waynes are winning

Which isn’t a bad angle at all; it’s been done very well in Scott Snyder’s New 52 run of Batman and in “The Batman” animated series

I just wasn’t expecting...(huff laughter) I just wasn’t expecting Colin Farrell

Andy Serkis as Alfred...ALSO threw me off.

Not because Andy Serkis was cast in the movie. He’s worked with Matt Reeves in 2 out of the 3 movies in the Planet of the Apes trilogy before; it was almost a given that he’d be in this in some capacity.

Wasn’t expecting him to be cast as Alfred, though!

And this is ALSO coming off the news that he’s directing Venom 2 for Sony, and that recently started production in mid-November of 2019.

Which I assume means that as soon as he’s DONE directing Venom 2, he’s going to immediately start work on The Batman

Which leaves me to believe that production on The Batman probably won’t start until maybe the end of the first quarter of 2020 or so?

While I’m pretty sure his talents could’ve been better used ELSEWHERE in the movie, the choice of Andy Serkis as Alfred is definitely not a bad one...

John Turturro...as Carmine Falcone. (Pauses) What is happening?

Now I’m not saying that John can’t do mob boss or crime syndicate head, because I am ABSOLUTELY sure that he can.

It just sucks that he’s made such a name for himself in comedy and being an over exaggeration thanks to The Coen Brothers and Michael Bay, that it’s hard for me to see it.

And I know I said the opposite of Robert Pattinson, but in his defense he’s had a LOT of roles since the Twilight saga and has shown just how versatile he is.

I can’t honestly say the same thing for John...

If anything, it’s the roles he played BEFORE Big Lebowski and the Transformer movies that make me feel confident that his portrayal of Falcone will be up there

But honestly, because I’m not 100% pessimistic about his casting, I’m just sitting in the “Let’s see him in action and go from there” crowd.

Now, the rumor of Matthew McCconauhey being eyed as Harvey Dent is about just as old as the initial announcement of Colin Farrell playing Oswald Cobblepot and hasn’t really been confirmed by any credible sources yet

So in case you were wondering why I decided to leave the “All-Right Man” out of the initial reaction bit, well, there you go.

As stated before, because the movie has a release date of 2021 and probably because Andy Serkis is currently working on Venom, the movie probably won’t start production until the end of the first quarter of 2020 at the earliest

Which means there’s PLENTY of time for more news and announcements for Matt Reeves’ The Batman

So with that being said Readers, your homework assignment for the day: Write the comment section below which of the currently confirmed casting choices for The Batman YOU’RE most excited about

Is it one specifically? Is it multiple? I’d love to know your thoughts.