Jungle Cruise Trailer Reaction (VIDEO SCRIPT)

(Watches Trailer) ...I guess.

_______

Readers, I just watched the trailer for Disney’s Jungle Cruise movie with Dwayne Johnson and Emily Blunt and...it’s the Mummy; it’s literally Brendan Frasier’s first Mummy movie

Of course I don’t mean it’s the Mummy EXACTLY, because it’s probably gonna be rated PG since it’s a family friendly Disney film

But let’s go over the plot details that the trailer reveals to us

/A british woman trying to prove herself in man’s world who has a love-hate relationship with ladders is looking for a lost treasure that’s linked to the supernatural, will probably unlock some cursed bitch in the process of finding said treasure, and needs a guide that either knows where it is or how to get there in order to point her in the right direction that may not end up being a love interest and the focus of the film later on in the movie/

And yes, I’m aware that there are other films other than the Mummy that follow this exact formula. But I’m 31 years old

And also, in fairness, it looks like they use a lot of different tropes in this one as well.

/Dwayne’s character Frank is the O’Connell here who’s a riverboat captain resorting to giving cheap tours with less than impressive attractions to rich white people in order to stay afloat. HA/

/Emily Blunt is a fusion of Evee from the Mummy and Evee from the third act of Mummy Returns that can hold her own against danger/

And her brother...okay at this point, her brother is pretty much Jonathan; But that’s because we didn’t see enough of him yet!

As far as what it promises, it’s an action-adventure film for sure

But more importantly, it’s an action-adventure film where Dwayne doesn’t have to try too hard.

And don’t get me wrong; I love The Rock. He can definitely act and perform his ass off...when he wants to.

/And from this trailer, this movie looks like...he doesn’t want to./

What it looks like, is that he just finished filming Jumanji 3, got tapped on the shoulder by Disney as he was about to leave the set, and was asked, “You wanna do that, but for us? Like, right now?”

And he was like, “But I’m tired, guys.”

And they were like. “Oh, trust me; we understand. Just be there and smile sometimes. Your check will be in the mail by tomorrow.”

And I kinda wanna say the same thing about Emily Blunt, because I feel that her being in this film is the result of a multi-film contract she signed when she agreed to be in Mary Poppins Returns

Like, it doesn’t look bad, considering it’s Disney’s 3rd attempt at making a movie inspired by one of their theme park attractions after the success of Pirates of the Carribean

And this is coming from someone who actually enjoyed Tomorrowland

But I think that’s what Disney’s trying to do; see if yet ANOTHER one of their theme park attractions has the potential to be another Pirates

And they cast The Rock in it because Disney’s case studies have shown that movies with him in it usually do well

But I mean, not only does the trailer look like I’m not gonna remember this movie like...a WEEK after I’ve seen it. But I’ve seen this movie before

And that’s assuming Disney isn’t gonna add any new twists and turns to make the premise of this movie stand out on its own, and just keep it on the safe side

But considering the live action movies that’ve been released recently, despite this being based on a ride about a Jungle Cruise, I’m not holding my breath over it.

_______

So with that Readers, your homework assignment for the day: Write in the comment section below what you thought of the trailer for Disney’s Jungle Cruise

Did it give off hella Mummy vibes for you as well? Do you think it’s actually gonna attempt to NOT be a paint-by-numbers movie? I’d love to know your thoughts.