Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (VIDEO SCRIPT)

I’m not gonna lie, Readers; I didnt have that much faith in this when it was first announced

Yes, I knew that it was based on the crossover story by James Tynion IV, which I heard was really good

But at the same time, this isn’t one of DC’s MAIN animated features they’ve been pushing for this year, which immediately told me that they probably weren’t gonna put as much dedication as they are for like, Batman Hush or the like

But let me tell you, Readers. I just watched this trailer and BOY am I glad I’m wrong.

First off, Barbara Gordon.

...

That’s it. Th-That’s...that’s all I need to say

*Huffs* Fine, I’ll elaborate

Not only is Barbara Batgirl in this,

/but she’s also rocking her Burnside costume, which has honestly been my favorite outfit of hers since the New 52 era/

Also, the story has me asking a lot of questions, which means it’s doing something right here.

And I don’t mean questions like, “Why are the Turtles and the Bat Family fighting?” I mean questions like:

/Why the fuck is Shredder in Gotham? Why is he on Ra’s Al Ghul’s Grayson, other than the fact that it’s Ra’s Al Ghul? Why do they need the Joker for ANYTHING?/

And most important of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS SPLINTER’S ROLE IN THIS??

Like, I’d understand it if you told the turtles NOT to go to Gotham, because it’s fucking Gotham

But if that’s not the case, and you actually SENT the turtles to Gotham, then why do you hate your family?

Like, seriously; what the fuck did Raph do to make you think ALL your boys had to suffer

Because let’s just face it; you KNOW it was Raph that fucked up

Also, can I just give Troy Baker props for making me think that this was Kevin Conroy voicing Batman? Because I for SURE the fuck thought this was Kevin Conroy voicing Batman

Like it’s already unfair as fuck that he proved in Arkham Origins that he can do a legit Mark Hamill Joker; no one man should have all that power

If anything, we need to put Socialism to work and have him redistribute that voice acting wealth to the lesser.

And by “the lesser,” I mean ME. 

I’m also very surprised that Nickelodeon is willing to work with DC on this?

Like, yes, the fact that Nickelodeon is involved makes sense; they’re the current distributors of everything TMNT when it comes to film and tv

But given the fact that Cartoon Network is the channel hugely associated with DC when it comes to cable, I’m shocked that they came to an agreement for this movie to happen.

And even MORE shocked...that it looks good.

Considering that this isn’t part of Warner Brothers list of feature length animated movies that were revealed this year, this looks really fucking good

So I’ll definitely be watching this to wet my whistle while waiting for the new animated Bruce Timm-verse Justice League movie to come out

And do so with a smile on my face, not just because this movie will more than likely live up to the standards of this trailer

But because even after watching THIS movie, I still have not seen nor ever WILL see Batman Ninja. Because NO.