Wading Through Treacle (and Possibly Into the Kitchen)

Let’s be honest: editing audio is not a graceful process.
It’s not even particularly respectable. It’s just me, hunched like a gremlin, crawling frame by frame through vowel sounds and plosives, wondering who let me have a microphone in the first place.

It feels, and I say this with love, like wading through treacle.
Possibly honey, if I actually liked my voice. But I don’t. So treacle it is. Thick. Reluctant. Stubbornly clinging to every movement.

The point is: the audios are still coming.
Slower than I’d like, stickier than they ought to be, but they are moving. And eventually, they will be done. And when they are, they will (hopefully) sound like something I meant to make, not something that just happened to me.

🔥 UNRELATED THING (Except Emotionally)

Would you, perchance, be interested in Cooking With Wayward?

This is not a recurring segment. I cannot pretend I live in a home conducive to professional sound. There are, at any given moment, no fewer than three shouting humans, one clanging spoon, and one appliance making an unidentifiable wheeze.

However.
I have carved out some miraculously quiet time this and next week, and I would quite like to spend it teaching you to:

• Make Spanish chips (with oil-related trauma)

• Assemble a proper lasagne (which will take two days and several tea breaks)

• Bake cornbread (only to drown it in butter)

• Possibly construct a cake, though we’ll see how emotionally stable I’m feeling at the time

Picture: the usual rambling. But with open flame. And flour.

Would that be of interest?

Let me know. Or don’t. I may do it anyway.

🐸 MUPPET SPEAK TRANSLATION:

Me stuck in sticky sound swamp.

• Audio go slooow.

• Voice go why is that me.

• Brain go please no more mouth noises.

• But it coming! It coming soon!

Also: ME MAKE FOOD?

• Potato go sizzle.

• Pasta go layer.

• Cornbread go B U T T E R.

• Cake go mood depending.

• Me yell. Stove yell back. Together: perfection.

Cooking soon. Audio sooner.
Me tired. Me excited. Me need tea.