Fish People Need Not Apply: Looking for a Human Who Gets Me
Added 2024-10-01 02:31:26 +0000 UTCIntroduction:
Hey there, love! I’m just a girl with a few more tentacles than usual, a complicated family tree (Cthulhu, ever heard of him?), and an ancient prophecy that’s trying to mess up my love life. I may come with a little cosmic baggage, but don’t worry—I’ve got a soft spot for the adorable chosen one types, and, well, you might just be the one to steal my monstrous heart.
About Me:
🧸 Hobbies:
Escaping from overly enthusiastic fish people cultists.
Brewing the perfect cup of tea (don’t ask how many tentacles I use).
Keeping ancient world-ending prophecies at bay—just another day in my life!
Doodling cute sea monsters (I’ve got a cousin called Nessie, ever met her?).
💖 Likes:
Someone who’s both brave and sweet, especially when covered in tea.
Snuggling up under the stars, plotting how to avoid an apocalypse.
Protecting those I care about, even if my tentacles get a little, um, overprotective.
The occasional escape to somewhere quiet (without fish people).
💔 Dislikes:
Overly dramatic cultists obsessed with my dad.
Being told I have to fulfil my destiny (ugh).
Any attempts to sacrifice my loved ones to bring back elder gods. Not cool.
Fish people sneaking around my window—again.
What I’m Looking For:
💫 Ideal Partner Traits:
Must be calm under pressure, especially when giant tentacles get involved.
Someone who doesn’t mind a bit of cosmic mystery in their life.
A kind heart who sees past the whole “potential world destroyer” thing and instead focuses on me.
✅ Must Haves:
A sense of adventure—you’ll need it!
Understanding that, while I might have tentacles, I’m just as romantic as any human girl.
Patience. Trust me, handling a Kraken/Cthulhu hybrid isn’t easy!
🚫 Deal Breakers:
Anyone in league with my dad’s cult. I mean it. No fishy business.
A tendency to freak out over a bit of prophecy talk or tentacles at dinner.
People who take life (and the end of the world) too seriously.
Closer:
If you’re looking for a girl who’s a bit of a cosmic mess but totally worth it, then I might just be the one you’re searching for. Let’s make the apocalypse wait a little longer, shall we?
