NO NEW CHAPTER YET

Hey everyone, a couple people reached out to me since I've been quiet for longer than usual and I truly appreciate it. The truth is, I *am* kind of fucked up right now.

When I publish a new chapter I am so worn down from the process that I can not even THINK about the next chapter. Usually I am in awe that I was even able to squeeze that one out from the dark black hole in my mind created as a defense to save my waking life from constant Elan memories.

See, for years I was able to just let that shit rot in the back of my brain somewhere. But now, it is like I am taking a monthly expedition to the Antarctica of my memories. And I have done it 51 times!!! Back-to-back.

And not only that, but every time I go back, I feel like I need to collect more than the last time. I mean, go click on the chapters 1-5 and then compare the production to chapters 41-45. This comic itself, even beyond the Elan aspect, has become a living document of how far a person can come when they force themselves to do something, because when I started this it was really a matter of: "fuck it, I need to start putting this story down and stop making excuses about the talent needed to do it properly, just fucking DO IT and take that first step."

That's why I will never go back and "visually update" the earlier chapters to compete with the later ones. I want people to see the jump in production value as this comic evolves. Because that is real life. Sometimes you just gotta say fuck it and just start something. Do the best you can. Fuck comparing it to everything else made by everyone else, and just start that ball rolling.

But I say all this because, damn, the ball is REALLY rolling now and every single time I go down "hellhole memory lane" I am pushing myself to come back and push out a better, longer, more artistic, more deeply written chapter. And you know, I have no problem with that. But when life itself becomes FUCKED (think COVID, 2020 elections, etc) and you are getting MORE stressed out from life... damn it is hard to keep giving your all.

I didn't even know I needed a break until I looked around and realized February is almost over and that I had withdrawn into myself for an entire month since the last chapter was published. I got a wife, I got kids, I have a job that went COVID crazy and my position suddenly tripled in value (which is great for job security) and tripled in responsibility (which fucking SUCKSSSS).

It's been a particularly FUCKED couple months everyone... with my wife, with my kids, with my job, with my trek back into Elan-world, and with my own ability to keep myself from losing it while I try to juggle it all into something meaningful and worth it in the end. This chapter will take much longer than usual, I can already see that. And the best thing I can do in that situation is to use that... guilt... to squeeze out every drop and balance that longer wait with the reward of you receiving a better chapter. (I do see the strangeness of my brain coming up with that particular word: "guilt").

You all are so supportive of me that I just can't keep you out of the loop. And thanks for the kind messages and people checking up on me. I often think this is my chance (maybe ONLY chance) to say something while the world is listening. That's why every chapter needs to be my 100%, because one day this will be finished, published, mailed out, DONE (no more revisions), and I will have the rest of my life to look at it and ponder back on this time where I was making it. I don't want any regrets. I don't want to say "damn, that's CH52 where I rushed to meet the deadlines and kind of pulled it out of my butt just to get it done".

There will be no butt-pulling. And that's a Joe Nobody guarantee.

Thanks for listening.