Mei Gribbins the Semen Demon (Chapter 2)

 This one’s been a long time coming, pecking at what demons and canon felt right to fit it. It remains my Devil May Cry parody and I know it has a few fans around so glad to bring back an indifferent goth demon hunter who fucks more cooperative demons in exchange for borrowing their powers. Not much to report beyond weird, mind-bending demons wanting to do gross stuff to the heroine. 

“This the place?” 

Mei Gribbens (aka “The Semen Demon”) asked as if she didn’t care about the answer. The gothic Asian girl didn’t even look out the window as she asked her driver, tech guy and technically backup that was Michael.

“Yep. The spooky old desanctified church at the end of town. I’m surprised it took the DMC this long to check this place out…”

“Yea, that’s prime demon turf alright. They’re like if cockroaches were also cartoon supervillains.” Mei popped open her door and climbed out, stuffing a pistol loaded with blessed bullets down the back of her pants. She could feel the warm metal and the leather grip against her ass cheeks where here thong failed to cover, making her priest-in-training blush and look away. She shook out her hair, the dyed white streaks flourishing along with the jet black like a complex herd of tiny zebras ran across her forehead.

“I’ll keep in touch. Y’know… if I remember to anyway.” Mei shut the door before Mike could protest any further, walking towards the run-down church. She didn’t have to call in any demonic favors to tell it had a strong demonic presence (especially given the currency they ran in was souls if they were extra greedy and sex if they were more casual about it) . They loved the idea of defiling things, and no better place than a forgotten old church. She kicked in the double doors and looked up… and up and up. It was a normal two-story church on the outside, but inside it was a stone tower that seemed to rise an easy fifty stories into the air. It was like standing at the base of an oversized and simplified telescope aimed up at the moon.

Mei sighed and checked her earpiece. “Yea. It’s demon bullshit alright.” She stepped in, her leather boots clicking against the stone floor while her swaying hips moved her short skirt and belly shirt. She stopped in front of a large stone the size of a dishwasher embedded in the ground, and as she kicked it curiously, it glowed and rose out of the ground. A number of elaborate runes appeared along its surface, sliding all around it before a grid of red lines appeared along it.

Mei frowned and tugged at her pentagram-tattooed cleavage, making sure to aim her minicam at the odd artifact. “Mike? You getting’ this?”

“Definitely. It looks like old Gomorrean script… something about ‘time’ and ‘solve…’ just a second.”  

“Oh my godddddd!” Mei groaned noisily. She smacked the smooth stone so that it spun around in midair like a demonic globe. “Are you kidding me? I’m dealing with nerd-ass demons who like puzzles?! This is bullshit! Hey!”

She cupped her hands around her mouth to shout at the higher floors. “Why don’t you pussies come and fight me right now?! What are you even trying to accomplish? Making me bored for five minutes so I’ll kill you fucking harder later!?” She got no response and snorted.

“Awesome. How’s it going, Mike?” 

“This might take a while. It’s a dead language and my Latin’s alright, but the dialect of a city wiped off the face of the earth…”

“Nevermind. Devil Time.” Mike’s voice started to ask what that meant, but his first word took nearly a minute at the world around Mei blurred and grayed. A thick fog developed around her, or at least in her mind’s eye. Mei herself only had one unique ability; she could drop in and out at will to the veil between the mortal and demonic world. From there, all she could really do was talk with demons and invite them to interact with her spiritual projection. She could sell her soul if she wanted, but that was for suckers. She knew a much cheaper currency that demons valued almost as dearly.

“YO!” she barked, cupping her hands to call into the void of Hell. “Free BJ to anybody who knows about puzzles and runes and shit!” 

The fog stirred as things started to stalk about them. One emerged a few seconds later, though she knew that was a relative term. The realm she sat in during Devil Time was vague at best and even worse on the demons. She could spend hours in here and time would barely pass at all in the real world.

This first demon stepped forward, seemingly made of pyramids and triangles. It moved on pincer-like legs that gave it a vaguely crab look, but even its face was a triangular beak pointed at her. It snapped open and closed like a cheap puppet when it spoke, showing numerous and uneven needly fangs when it opened and clacking when it shut. A tail made of interconnected triangles dragged and wagged behind him. 

“Soooo! Riddles, is it?” it chirped in a haughty falsetto. “I am as a king among riddles! A pleasure to meet you, Mei. I have only heard rumors of your talents! A hard bargainer but a fine hostess, as it-”

“Yea, cool. So come on. Suck your dick for a riddle. You got this one?” Mei looked entirely unphased by the new demon. She had been fucked by one the size of a truck, sucked two dicks on the same demon, and been gangbanged by cackling humanoid bats. Some of it was for fun, but most of the time she did it to bargain powers and favors from the creatures. The angular monster clicked its beak as it peered at the rune puzzle.

“Yessss,” he purred thoughtfully. “An ancient demonic trial. Simple enough to the right sort of twisted mind. I agree to your carnal bargain.”

“Dope. Whip it out.”

“As you wish, Mei.” It held out a point-tipped appendage, which she grabbed from a duller edge and shook. “And you may call me The Riddle King, if you wish.”

“Nah. I’m gonna call you Shapey.”

“I… see.” Its pointed beak opened and closed a few times ponderously. Demons had names and all, but it all boiled down to what the human deemed to call them. It established a distinct bond between them and Mei didn’t want to give them the dignity of whatever masturbatory name they had for themselves. 

“So what? Is your dick your face or something stupid like that?” Mei demanded impatiently. “Whip it out.”

Shapey’s body clicked as it repositioned itself, shifting its legs higher as another pyramid shape emerged from between its multiple legs. It was thinner than the rest of its other ones, but its purpose was clear enough. Mei got to her knees like she had places to be and grabbed the angular phallus, stroking it rapidly against her palm. There was a faint discomfort from the work, its angled edges clearly supposed to be sharper in reality. Thankfully staying in the borderworld like this meant that Mei felt any pain at a fraction of its actuality. She couldn’t be cut or bruises, though she might end up a little sore or disturbed after certain sessions. She’d gotten rather immune (if not bored) to most of it by now.

The crab-like demon scuttled closer, impatiently pushing his angular shaft into Mei’s face. Mei sneered and opened her mouth wide enough to take the demonic dick into her mouth without chipping her teeth on the corners. Her spit slid down the shape that felt softer than she’d expected, bending slightly as she pursed her lips around it. Shapey let out a soft, pleased clicking sound from its beak of a face. Mei instinctively ran her hand down Shapey’s shaft, tracing one of his angular edges before reaching a pair of smaller, more evenly shaped pyramids at the base.

“You’re so fuckin’ weird, dude,” Mei grumbled, taking his prick from her mouth long enough to complain. “And I’ve seen some shit.”

“Thank you, my dear,” Shapey muttered as his wet and shapely shaft thrust back at her face.

“Not a compliment, but whatever.” She squeezed the pair of pyramids that she took to be his balls while taking his triangular dick back into her mouth. She bobbed her head as deep as she could go without taking its pointed tip to her throat, stroking the rest with her painted nails and fingers. She buried it in her mouth before slowly pulling her black lips back, leaving an irregular trail of lipstick along with her slow, wet slurping.

Shapey finally finished, the triangular cock opening slightly like its beak of a face. It gushed a thick wave of greenish cum into her mouth, making Mei cringe and pull back as it dribbled from her mouth. The pain Mei felt was never worse than a mild cramp or an ache, but sometimes she hated the fact that she still had her sense of taste.

“Ugh. Nasty fucker,” she grunted.

“Yes, well a deal is a deal,” the riddling demon chimed proudly.

“Sure is.” She sent a swift fist between his pyramid legs, punching him in his angular nuts. The demon let out a shrill howl and scuttled back on his pointed legs. “Now fix the fucking puzzle and get this going.”

“Fine! At once!” he squeaked a little higher. The mist faded from Mei’s vision and she felt the subtle shift in her weight that told her she’d arrived back in reality proper. The runic item was still floating there as Michael’s words came back into her earpiece.

“I think I have a lead. It’s some mix of Golgothan and Pangean…” her handler reported.

“Don’t worry. I got it.” Mei watched as a number of floating triangles appeared around the device, poking and turning them around like an otherworldly rubix cube.

“Curious, curious,” Shapey mused from the ether. “You see, it’s an interpretation of the old demonic calender. Quite clever, really. The numbers are replaced with-”

“Don’t care. Make me go up,” Mei interrupted.

“Wait, what?” Mike asked in her ear.

“Demon’s got it.” The rune glowed a happy pink color and let out a cheerful chime as the floor started to slide upward like a huge elevator.

“Always a pleasure, my dear,” Shapey said. His spines gave a little flourish before they vanished back to Hell. “Call upon me anytime.”

“I totally won’t,” Mei assured him. “You taste like shit and I could have chipped a tooth because your dick has edges. Not as fun as it looked.” She stepped up and gave the puzzle orb a light spin, speeding up the elevator as it rose higher and faster. A vague, echoing series of roars and bat-like shrieks came from various floors as she went by. Shortly into her ascension, a large number of black and red gargoyles came swooping out of doors and windows. She shrugged and pulled out her pistols.

“That can’t be good,” Michael muttered. “Are those abductors?”

“Dunno. I always called them grab guys,” Mei said casually. Another piercing howl came from the bestial, ape-like creatures in the air. “Mostly because it pisses them off,” she laughed. “I think I got this. Just open up some of the ammo boxes in the back. It’ll make them easier to summon.”

Another roar came from the passing halls and before Mei could leave it behind, a huge creature landed on it with her. The platform shifted under its weight, and it looked like a bobcat the size of their van but made of writhing, exposed black muscle. Even its fangs seemed to be made of the twisting flesh as it snarled at her.

“Bad fuckin’ kitty,” Mei snorted, stuffing one of her guns back into its holster. She whispered to herself and the mists spread back in as the demons readied themselves to swoop or charge at her, barely even moving with Devil Time sweeping over the room.

“Oh! Back again so soon?” Shapey’s voice chimed from the mists.

“Nope. Fuck off. I’ve got a real shopping list to go through and I don’t want your dumbass square dick up my ass.”

“Ah, but if I were to offer information about your long-lost father…”

“You and everyone else, dicknose. You’re out.” She swiped her finger through the air (to the left like it was a dating app) and with a brief shout, the voice vanished. She ran through her mental rolodex to see if she recalled anyone who could give her everything she wanted. She still wanted to leave Blowup Doll in the doghouse, since she’d tried to play the same “know about your father” card on her last mission. Big Dawg was useful but she didn’t feel like fucking a two-story tall behemoth this soon into a job. Bob, Whips and Disney Channel were annoying in their own ways…

“Ooh! Hello Nurse!” Mei called into the misty void. A hissing noise like leaking gas replied as a twisted humanoid shape hobbled into the open space. She was passably human at a distance, in the way that a zombie or a bipedal grasshopper could be confused for one. Her arms had too many joints and spasmed as she walked with a shambling, unsteady limp. She overall looked like a sexy nurse who had been hit by a car on her way to work but was committed to showing up at her hospital/stripogram. Her face as completely wrapped up in gauze, no signs of a nose or mouth underneath them besides some slowly dripping red stains. She wore the classic pillbox hat with a red cross (upside down, of course), and an open-chested, cleavage-baring nurse’s outfit. While her one leg seemed to be partially broken by how it quivered and limped, both legs were long, shapely and wrapped in grayish stockings the color of cobwebs. The head twisted sideways and gave a garbled hiss.

“Sup, Hello Nurse?” Mei asked with a nod. It replied with what sounded like radio static. “This is going to go a lot easier if you use fucking English. I’m not in that big a hurry but I’m not in the mood for bullshit.”

“Sorry, sweetie,” came a smoky, sultry voice. “You know how it can be around the office. Have to keep up appearances.”

“Have you seen me?” Mei gestured to her tattooed and dyed figure. “I absolutely do not know about acting like I give a shit at my job.” Mei had rather famously appeared at her local police station to apply for the Demonic Management Center without so much as a resume. She simply dropped an old laundry basket full of demon heads on the front desk.

“I always did like your style. These leggings are a bitch to get on,” the nightmarish Nurse mused. “So what can I do for you?”

“I’m in for a fight and against a big dude. I’m going to need to summon my gear, hyper reflexes, regeneration, feel no pain, and… blades. Let’s go blades this time.”

“My dear, you are a girl after my own heart,” Nurse said cheerily. “Now you know that by the ancient laws, I need to ask for your soul…”

“Nope.”

“Thought so. So how about a little 69 to celebrate our new deal?”

“Do you even have…?” Mei motioned around her face.

“Not really. But I suppose that’s not the real point behind it, now is it?”

“Guess not. If that’s the case, then throw in invisibility. Then you’ve got a deal.”

“Sounds lovely.” Hello Nurse extended her arm with some boney cracking, but Mei shook it with barely a pause. The demon leaned her blood-stained bandages of a face close to her, pressing one of the damp stains against her lips. Mei ran with it and grabbed the nightmare nurse by the ass as she made out with her like a couple of attention-grabbing drunks at a kegger. She figured whatever got the nurse off faster was fine with her, and the red substance didn’t even taste like blood so much as thicker water. It seemed to be entirely superficial and Nurse probably didn’t expect anyone to get that close to it.

The faceless makeout session seemed to do the trick and Hello Nurse was soon giving off a needy moan. Mei could tell the demon was losing control as the echoing static returned to her purring voice. The seemingly faceless woman dropped to her boney knees and mashed her face under Mei’s skirt. The warm fluid of her leaking mouth did make Mei’s hips shift in place, grinding against her face before she gave a harder thrust. It pushed Hello onto her back as Mei dropped to sit on her face, her toned ass pushing down and rubbing her pussy into her face. Both ladies flipped up the other’s skirt and buried their lips and tongues into each other’s crotches. At least Mei was grateful to find out that Hello’s pussy was unremarkably normal. 

With a low moan, Mei pushed her tongue into the waiting slit. It was a little cool to the touch, but that was almost expected with the grosser sort of demons she encountered. Nurse moaned in reply, if a slightly throatier and gruffer one. Her lips (or whatever Hello Nurse had) smacked as the red fluid trickled into Mei’s pussy, tingling wherever it went. The gothic monsterhunter found herself grunting excitedly as her hips pushed up into Hello, bumping slowly up and down in a mirrored rhythm. The flowing red stuff found her clit and steadily leaked around it, teasing her constantly as she lapped frantically at the nurse’s clit in reply. 

They both bucked sharply as they came into each other’s faces. Mei’s was a warm, thick current that mixed with Nurse’s unspecified face juices, but Mei got a faceful of what felt like a chilling, semisolid breeze. She didn’t see anything but felt like tons of tiny spectral hands stroked across her face, scratching lightly at her skin. 

“Ugh!” Mei grunted as she shoved Hello’s thigh away. “I miss it when monsters just shot jizz in my face. Not… whatever the fuck you do.”

“Apologies. I am not the master of what form my orgasms may take.”

“Which is ALSO fuckin’ weird,” Mei hissed as she rubbed the feeling back into her cheeks. She didn’t bother picking up her underwear, knowing it would just be back on her corporeal form in the end anyway. “So time to pay up.”

“Summoning, healing, no pain and master of blades. It is done,” Hello Nurse replied dryly. “Go in peace, Mistress Gribbens. Or if you cannot find peace, the strength of arm to make it.”

“Peace is overrated. I don’t get paid if there’s peace.”

She concentrated on the veil of mist around her and found herself back in reality. The diving abductor demons were still sluggishly moving towards her while the hulking cat-like monster’s claws gouged into the stone platform with each step it took.

“Okay, let’s see… gonna need some cover.”

Mei threw out a hand towards the bigger beast. A large barricade resembling a steel-lined road block suddenly landed in front of her, the monster slamming right into it. Its various blessings and sigils triggered as it howls and recoiled, its flesh steaming as its head spun dizzily.

“Now I can pick off you little bastards…” Mei spun back to the gargoyle-like demons and flicked her fingers. From nowhere, smooth, bare steel like massive box cutter blades rocketed from her fingertips. They impaled a demon with each flick, shooting a few out of the sky before she summoned a long, bone white sword into her hand. She spun around like a drunken major leaguer, shredding a half dozen of them in half with one stroke.

“Can’t have you losers latching on while I’m neutering big boy here,” Mei said with a smirk. There was a low crunch from around her foot but felt nothing.

“One just latched onto you,” whispered Hello Nurse’s voice in her ear.

“Thanks. Figured that out for myself.” Mei scowled down at a lone “grab guy” who had wrapped itself around her leg and bit into her ankle. She turned her hand into a huge, needle-like spike and skewered it like an olive on a toothpick before flicking its corpse off the platform.

“Just consider it a protection plan with your purchase,” Nurse purred. “Heads up.”

The muscular cat creature gave an angry, warbling cry that shook bits of stone loose from the walls around the mystical elevator.

“Mei, incoming!” Michael reported in her other ear.

“God dammit, will you people shut up!?” Mei barked as the creature came barreling towards her. It was building speed quickly, but Mei quickly picked up on its pace. She broke into a front flip that went over its head as she landed on its back. She latched her exposed legs around its sticky back, morphing her hands into wide sword blades before jabbing away wildly. It howled and bucked as it tried to catch her before its tail lashed around her waist. It yanked her off, but she sprouted an extra hooked blade from her elbow and dragged it along its spine (or whatever bones it may or may not have) as she went. It tossed her hard enough that she nearly fell off the platform, but she dug her spiked hand into the stone. It dragged a trench for a couple inches, but she stopped with her bootheels skimming the edge

“Okay, time for the big guns. Guns and swords, anyway.” Mei held out her hands as a blessed assault rifle appeared in them, emptying its magazine into the bulky beast. It mostly seemed to piss it off as more black chunks flew off its body, but as it charged in Mei conjured a land mine into her hands. She tossed it like a frisbee into its path as the monster stumbled and skidded its fanged face along the ground until it bashed into one of the supporting pillars. One more gesture and Mei summoned a broadsword bigger and heavier than she was above her head. She couldn’t wield it practically, but she didn’t have to as she just took the handle and guided it down for one huge, cleaving strike. With a wet squish, its body was carved in two with gruesome ease. Its body bubbled and faded out into a useless mist.

“Okay, that’s that, right?” she said as she dusted off her hands. There was a heavy thud that shook the platform, getting her to shake her head. “Nope. Cuz fuck me, right?”

She turned to find two burly figures, a solid ten feet tall with vaguely gorilla-like features. One was bright red with a huge battle axe while the other was blue with a spear.

“Foolish mortal!” one boomed. “You shall not cross the path of the elemental brothers and live to-”

“Holy fuck. Be more obvious about it, you dumbasses.”

“Er…what?”

Mei summoned a pistol and blasted the blue one in the chest. It bounced off harmlessly as she expected. “Bullet proof. Can’t get hurt by anything. I guess you can’t get hurt by anything but fire.”

“Ah, but if-”

“No, I get it. Shut up.” Mei holstered her pistol and held out her hands. A flamethrower appeared in one hand while a complex rig resembling a portable steel catapult loaded with CO2 tanks warped into the other. Their bestial faces dropped right before she blasted them both at once, taking care to aim the explosively cold tanks at the red while the blue got the fire. They were melted/a pile of frozen chunks in seconds.

“Elemental themed twins. It’s cute once but then it’s just easy street.” She warped her weapons back where they came from and glanced up. She was only a couple floors from the top of the ridiculous tower and no further demons in sight. That was when the elevator ground to a halt.

“Of course. Everyone thinks a cool boss fight on an elevator is great but they don’t ever test out the mechanics.” She extended some blades from her fingers and feet, but the walls weren’t solid enough for her to Wolverine climb up. With a sigh she shifted back into Devil Time.

She skimmed through a few options in her head, but she didn’t have much who could get her up there for anything easy. The power of flight did not come cheap with some of the stingier demons.

“Okay, what you guys got? I need to get up high and get ready for a badass fight,” Mei demanded to the empty mists. They stirred as the distant whispers plotted harmlessly around her before two figures stepped forward.

“Well this is awkward,” the red axe demon grumbled.

“Are you serious? I just nuked you two.”

“We retreated back to Hell before we could truly die,” the blue giant explained in his gravely voice. “It was that or face oblivion.” Mei wasn’t totally sure how demons and dying worked, but they seemed to have some was of being truly destroyed. Best she understood, it was hard as shit for them to get into the mortal realm. Most demons didn’t look kindly on those who fled Hell without them, so going back usually meant trouble. Still, dying up here meant they were  gone forever, so some of them were fast and desperate enough to go back and face the consequences.

“Whatever. What do you guys have?”

“Ice and flame. You may create a stairway of ice,” the blue one offered.

“Or propel yourself on jets of fire!” the red added.

“Great. Okay, Slappy. Stinky. What do you want for it?”

“Sou-“

“Nope. Guess again.”

“Then… thou must sit on my brother’s face.” Mei gave a non-committal nose as she shrugged. “While you step on my balls!” he escalated. She furrowed her brow at that.

“Also farting!” the blue one added.

“Yes. Farting on my brother’s face while you call me a little bitch and crush my aching-”

“You know what? This just got too weird. Next.” Mei swiped her finger to the left and the two vanished from sight. 

Reaching out with her senses, she felt out another presence. “Okay, Disney Channel. Let’s talk.”

A rail-thin figure with rotten meat pink emerged from the mists, almost resembling a stick bug in its comical skinniness. A pear-shaped head gawked at her with its empty, black mouth and lidless eyes as its thick, dinosaur-like legs stomped around. It had no hands, but a set of six thin tentacles wriggled mindlessly around its sides.

“I may never understand why you picked that name,” he said in a grimly baritone voice. “It’s so demeaning.”

“Yea. I wonder why I picked it,” Mei said dismissively. “Now I’m trying to get somewhere about 3 stories up. Can you help me Spider-Man that?”

“Help you what?” Disney repeated.

“Spider-Man. You do know Spider-Man in Hell, right? Thwip?” She gave an iconic gesture and got the same blank stare. “I need your ropes. Can I swing around on them?”

“You know my price.”

“I’m not giving you any of my soul.”

“Then you know my other price.”

“Tentacles, right?” The demon nodded. “Maybe. They’re pretty gross. I could always shop around.” 

Disney gave a ponderous hum, rubbing a tentacle under his thick-featured jaw. “And what if I outsourced the bargain?”

“Big maybe. With who?” Mei knew there was some complex barter system going on in Hell, and oath-bound demons owing each other favors was a market all of its own.

“With Swarmus. All you can serve him in 5 Earth minutes.”

“The little guy?” Mei asked, raising her eyebrows in surprise. “Hell yeah. Let me at him.” She grabbed one of Disney’s tentacles, squeezing and shaking it.

“It is done,” the creature drone before it vanished into the mist and the new demon took his place. Swarmus was the size of her hand. Mei had crushed tons of his kind throughout her career with little effort. He was blue with a large head and pointed ears and horns. Little bat wings flapped lazily behind him as his fanged little grin flashed towards her.

“Well well well! Finally come crawling back to ol’ Swarmy,” the runt of an imp gloated.

“Yup. And the timer’s going, microdick.” Mei lazily tapped her bare wrist and a clock appeared floating in space nearby. The imp squeaked and zipped up to her, diving into her tits and pulling wildly at her top. Mei winced slightly as his small mouth started to bite and suck the nipple the size of his head.

“Ow! Little asshole,” she growled, but she let Swarmus grab and pull at her other nipple with his lanky little arm. He was nude beyond a loincloth, so she cringed at the feel of his fittingly tiny erection rubbing against her pale breast. His slick precum had barely started to smear on her skin when it twitched and shot his load. As tiny as Swarmus was, he shot a solid two-foot-long streak of cum across her face and chest with more jizz than it looked would fit inside his entire body.

“I forgot about that little hair-trigger pea-shooter of yours,” Mei grunted. “Should have known you dumbasses would be too good to be true.”

“Still got four minutes!” Swarmus reminded her as he fluttered higher, grabbing her breast in both hands and barely able to lift it up. He pulled it over into its twin and started humping her cleavage with his tiny prick. Mei frowned but tolerated his efforts, so long as she didn’t have to do anything.

“So what do you have that would make Disney Channel want a favor from you?” she asked conversationally. She pursed her lips and paused as within seconds, Swarmus shot another long streak of a load across her tits and into her chin. She wiped it off with a scowl. “There’s thousands of imps and you’re all trash tier in Hell.”

“Exactly. So we blend in everywhere. I see stuff and know when to keep my mouth shut and when to open up. Speaking of, could ya…”

“Yea, yea,” Mei grumbled. “Just don’t fall in.”

She barely parted her lips as the imp flew in front of her face. Swarmus clumsily bumped his wet little hardon into her lips before stuffing it into her mouth. He gripped the edges of her dyed hair to pull himself as deep as he could go, barely going an inch into her mouth. Mei groaned with annoyance but let the grubby little guy hump her face until his pea-sized balls tensed again. He was getting faster and faster with his massive orgasms, catching Mei offguard as she coughed and choked out some of his demonic jizz over her chest.

“Fuck, dude,” she wheezed as Swarmus ignored her, pulling down her skirt like he was trying to break a record. She barely felt him inside her pussy, but his little claws hung onto her thighs to keep pumping himself inside her. He lasted even shorter, giving a dozen or so rapid thrusts before another geyser of cum went off inside her. Mei cringed and tensed up as it flooded out past her slit, leaking more cum than it looked like Swarmus could even fit inside his entire body.

The imp buzzed around to grind himself against her ass, swiftly spurting more of his dull-colored cum up her back. She felt it splat against her neck as she winced and resisted the urge to smack the little pest off her and break their deal. Swarmus buzzed around her, humping whatever vaguely flat or soft part of her he could and squirting her with jizz a few times more. He finally flew up to straddle her shoulder, grinding his cock and balls against the base of her neck as he rapidly kissed her cheek. He was already leaking cum from his prior orgasms over her neck and shoulder.

“Come on, asshat. Not in the ear. You’re not trying to knock up my brain here,” she complained.

“I know! I won’t!” he panted shrilly. “Almost… gonna…”

A tiny hose’s worth of cum blasted into the side of Mei’s face as the clock vanished with a noisy puff of smoke. The demon huntress grimaced and stepped away, flicking Swarmus into the middle-distance. She wiped off her face with a sour expression, looking like she had been through a gauntlet of a bukkake rather than just pleasing a single imp.

“Great! You’re done. Where’s my rope shit so I can get out of this horny-ass dimension!?” she demanded.

Swarmus sighed calmly and stroked a few last drops from his miniature cock. “Granted. I think you’ll like it. So that’s what humans feel like… no wonder everyone wants a piece of the Semen Demon.”

“Yea, well spread the word,” Mei grunted as she wiped herself off. “I’m open for short-term bargains, I don’t deal in souls, I’m down to fuck whenever but I don’t fuck around. Got it?”

“Anything you say, ma’am!” Swarmus saluted with a scrawny limb before the fog faded.

Mei returned to reality, the demonic cum fading away as she tried to forget the slimy feeling.  She raised a hand towards the ledge of the top floor and tried out her new powers. With a rapid clinking of metal, a steel chain shot out of her palm and latched onto the edge.

“Okay, that’s kind of cool,” she admitted with a smirk. She secured her gear before reeling herself in, shooting up to the top floor and landing gracefully. A large, rune-covered gate that seemed to be made of writhing flesh and bone stood right before her.

“Is that all?” she asked she conjured a rapier, poking at the semisolid surface. The flesh grew back its tiny cuts instantly, clearly meant to ward off basic mortal entry. Standard flesh walls; not really alive, but useful tools for demons and cultists. Mei just shrugged and spread out her fingers, launching a couple dozen chains that latched on either end of the flesh wall. She gave a firm yank, and rather than trying to smash it down she tore it off its hinges. The barrier stayed in one piece as she casually stepped aside, letting it land with a muffled, pig-like squeal from some unseen mouth.

“Tell it to someone who cares, you glorified padlock fuck,” she scoffed as she stepped over it and through the doorway. 

Down a short hallway of gently glowing walls, it broke into an open chamber. It wasn’t especially big, resembling a particularly large bathroom if Mei had to guess. The black and blue stone walls pulsed with matching light as sitting on a brutally spikey chair was a grotesquely fat succubus. Even Mei had to raise an eyebrow at this one. It took a LOT to make a succubus not look sexy by nature. She marked her off as an abomination even among demons.

“So the famous huntress herself arrives to stop me,” the chunky woman gloated. Her rotten purple-pink skin wobbled, inhumanly wide as she stood up on legs that looked too thick and useless to work. Hand-sized wings looked far too small to work as her wide, frog-like mouth grinned full of fangs. A pair of smaller demons stood on either side of her, hunched with boney figures with hyena-like faces.

“That’s the short of it. In all honesty, I appreciate that you know where this is headed, so let’s get this over with. I’m not paid by the hour.”

Mei raised her weapon and fired some shots from her pistol. The succubus’ wings grew larger, forming a quick shield around her. She cackled in her still soft and seductive voice as Mei emptied her rounds. She held out a hand and… nothing. She gave a puzzled look at her empty hand.

“It took a while to gather this much hellstone!” the deformed succubus laughed. “And very risky. It cuts off all contact going in or out from any but the most powerful of Hellish sources. I can’t retreat to the underworld, but you can’t call for help either. I’ve severed your connections, so now it’s only you and me…”

Mei actually felt a cold sweat break out across her skin.

“That’s the problem with infamy, my dear,” the boss demon mused as she suddenly lunged at ridiculous speed.

“Fuck, fuck, Devil Time!” Mei spat out quickly as she started to back away. The fog fell over her as usual and the world slowed to a barely noticeable crawl. “Okay, guys. Looking to make a deal. Fiddler, you out there?”

Nothing stirred. Nothing answered.

“Yohan? Hocus? How about you guys? Store is open and I’m in the mood for some demon dudes!” She tensed up as no answers came. She was a bit of a badass on her own, but if she couldn’t conjure weapons, heal from her wounds, or move faster than normal, it was hard for anyone to take down a half-respectable demon.

“Okay, Stinky? Fractal? I’m even willing to work with you guys. You’re off the blacklist if you can hear me and show up now. Anybody really...” More nothing. Mei sighed and paced in her empty space. She was starting to wonder if she could somehow hold out in here and fuck with time until the stone wore off or someone could back her up, but anyone outside her devil time would move at normal speed. Just like the incoming mutant of a succubus. She bit her lip and took a breath to think outloud when suddenly the world around her changed. The fog was thinner and low around her ankles. The walls were no longer hellstone, but plain, slightly weathered wood and wallpaper. A hall lead down where she heard a deep, ominous voice.

“Fragged!!” it boomed.

“Fuckin’ c’mon!” groaned a much more normal and less electronic voice. “Fuckin’ millennials got too much spare time to practice this shit.” A belch and a crushing of a tin can sounded before a mix of laser blasts and explosions came from the same direction. 

Mei furrowed her brow and went down the hall. It definitely wasn’t her normal summoning. The demons came to her, not the other way around. She turned the corner at the end of the hall and saw a largely mundane living room. A middle-aged-looking human with graying brown hair sat in a large beanbag chair, playing an Xbox 360. He was dressed in a black leather jacket that was probably cool when it was purchased, now weathered, dirty and faded. His legs were stretched out lazily in similarly faded jeans, smirking as he focused on the large and outdated TV in front of him.

“Uh… hey?” Mei said with an impatient sneer.

“Oh! Hey,” the gruff man greeted. He straightened his posture a little, but seemed unwilling to look up from online his game of Halo. “Wondered when you were going to answer my calls.”

“I didn’t,” Mei muttered as she stepped inside. She looked around to see a Bon Jovi poster on the wall right above a massive black sword with a yellow eye in the hilt darting around the room. “I usually only work with demons I’ve been in contact with before.”

“Oh you have,” the man said with a nod.

“Soooo… what? You’re an old virgin wizard or something?” she asked as she scoured the room and its various empty cans of beer and Monster.

“Nope. Demon,” he grunted as he stifled another burp. Mei raised her eyebrows again and he pointed towards the ceiling. “Same as your buddy up there. The one about to kill ya. The more power a demon gathers, the more they can change their shape. I find it’s a lot easier to work when you look human. You guys have thumbs and everything.” He broke into a smokey laugh as he blew away someone in his match.

“So that’s how you got through the stone? By being one of the top dickheads around here.”

“Yup. Demonic Lord Vashram here,” he said, holding out his hands proudly. “Sorry to say I can’t get through the barrier completely though. Just enough to reach you.”

“At least it’s comforting to know I don’t have to fuck you for favors,” she scoffed. Vashram laughed along with her.

“Good to see you inherited my potty mouth.” His match suddenly ended. As his score tallied up, he held up a pizza box towards her. “Ya want any pizza? Join in a match? I’ve still got some weed stashed in that shoebox in the corner, if you wanted.”

Mei curled her lips in distaste. “No thanks. Stop trying to act like my dad.”

“I am your dad, Mei darlin’.”

“What?” Mei asked, more disbelieving than shocked. “You are not.”

“Sure am. You telling me you got that tramp stamp and DON’T have daddy issues?”

“You can’t be my dad,” Mei scoffed. “My dad’s dead. Mom told me he left us and ended up in Hell and ahhhhhhh fuck me that’s what she meant.”

“Bingo,” Vashram chuckled. “So I can’t get to ya, but you can tap into your own half-demon powers. Pretty sweet deal, huh? Demon powers go way further than alimony.”

“So… I’m just gonna bypass the fact that you’re an asshole for now,” Mei spelled out carefully. “Now how do I use those powers and why haven’t I ever done it before?”

“Uhnuh.” Vashram shrugged as he loaded up another game. “But you’ve got a lot of demonic essence in you that you’ve been absorbing over the last year or two.”

“Cum.”

“Right. It fades away when you leave Devil Time but it’s still there and it’s still potent stuff. Imagine that goin’ through your veins.”

“Imagine cum in my veins,” Mei repeated skeptically.

“Or not. I’m not the boss of you. I’m just your dad.”

“Supposedly,” Mei added.

“Sure. Just try it out. And don’t be a stranger. You can swing on by here anytime.”

“I don’t think so. There’s not much here besides your outdated videogames and the smell of failure.”

“Whatever you say. But if you need a confidence booster, I wouldn’t say no to a quick ride on your old man…”

“You know what? I’m just gonna go die now. Thanks, ‘dad.”

Mei willed herself back to the fog of her Devil Time. The bloated succubus was barely closer to her, but still coming. Mei sighed and turned her focus inside herself. Now that she looked for it, there was a pulse of strange energy in there. It seemed to wriggle near her stomach, and as she reached out to it, Devil Time stopped completely. Her senses and mind raced as she stepped aside, easily dodging the incoming succuboss. Her eyes flashed across the room and the two assistant demons she had in waiting exploded into black muck. The succubus turned and gawked at the scene.

“Sorry,” Mei said, her voice vibrating with power. “I was aiming for you but I’m new at this.” Her eyes were huge and glowing, and her skin had turned into a radiant shade of yellow. She looked like a lightning bolt had struck where she was standing and froze in the shape of her. Her fingers were stretched into long claws and her hair shifted and lashed like a ton of spindly, anxious snakes.

“How did-?” the demoness started but Mei tensed her body. She thought about moving to kick the woman in the stomach, but before she could even move a spectral upper body of some burly creature flew through the air and smashed her entire front half from her torso. The mutated succubus shrieked as Mei glared, wishing she would shut up. A pair of bright yellow mandibles burst out of the wall and hooked inside the succubus’ mouth before snapping shut, popping her head and letting her lifeless body drop.

The room around her rumbled as Mei looked around. Of course, without a host demon, the supernatural structure would collapse. She was planning out how to get back to the van when she appeared, moving faster than thought and stopping by the passenger side of the van.

“Oh,” she noted quietly before she relaxed her body. The glowing faded and she changed back to normal Mei, popping open the door to the van. Michael jumped as he saw her entering.

“Whoa! There you are. I didn’t know you were coming back out,” he gasped. “So are they gone?”

“Yea, they’re dead. I…” She considered how much she wanted to share with her resident priest-in-training and driver. “I figured out a new power that let me become super powerful.”

“Oh. That’s good, right?” he asked.

“Drive, Mike.” He nodded and started up the car, but the old church Mei had gone into rumbled behind them. Mei gave him a sterner glance and she drove off before it started to crumble to the ground.

“So… new power, huh? Guess that means your other jobs are going to be a breeze,” Mike said optimistically.

Mei sighed and pulled the handle on her chair, reclining flat on her back.

“Maybe. But I probably won’t use it a lot.”

“Why not?”

“Shit’s boring as hell. I didn’t start fighting demons so I could win without even trying. I did it because I was good at it. And because I was bored and horny. This power would make all that way too boring.” She stretched her legs out beneath the dashboard.

“End of the day, it’s kicking demon ass and sucking demon dick for me.”

“It sounds like there’s easier ways to annoy your dad,” Michael muttered. Mei immediately burst into laughter, something strange enough to get him to stare.

“Sorry,” she giggled, wiping a tear from her eye. “Inside joke.” She gave him a punch in the arm before she laid back again. “You’re fuckin’ alright, Mikey.”