The Gerudo In Green 3: Temple Guardians

I'd been working this one for weeks and it took me ages to figure out what to do with what was in this temple and who the boss was going to be. At first it was a sexy golem girl, then I thought it might be an evil version of Midna, then someone that might have joined the party... it all finally clicked today and even that took some piecing together. I'm still glad how it ended up, and I think I like where it's headed. Considering that I have more than the immediate story in mind, that's a good sign for me!

The Temple of Chastity was strange but manageable with Linkle in the lead to trigger the traps with her staff. Doro followed suit with Midna hiding in her shadow, hopping from one activated trap to the next. They crossed the main hall where the path split off in two directions. Linkle tapped her staff around for a few seconds with nothing going off, so she waved back to her teammates.

"I think we're past the crotch-traps!" she called back to them as they finally caught up. Doro thumped her heel on the tiles a few times before she relaxed.

"Okay. So which way first?" her big sister asked, looking down either way. One went off into darkness, its strange runes dulled and doused, while another turned a short way down.

"Gimme a sec." Midna popped out of Doro's shadow and dusted herself off. "I could use a break from hiding in that shadow of yours. It's roomy, but the smell... Linkle's is much more comfortable."

"Hey!" Doro snapped, but Midna just floated up to the wall and tapped a shadow beneath one of the ancient torches. She vanished into it and a faint, liquidy ripple could be seen zipping off in both directions. "I'm getting real tired of that gremlin," Doro grumbled, folding her thick arms under her chest.

"Oh she's just being funny," Linkle giggled. "I always liked how you smell."

"Well she doesn't mess with you. You get midnight visits from her since you're the hero of the world or whatever."

Linkle blushed at the reminder. "That was just the one time," she muttered. There was a strange bubbling before the shadows rippled and Midna slid back out again.

"We want to go left," she said, pointing down the hall with the turn with an extended claw.

"Why? What's that way?" Linkle asked.

Midna frowned and gave an iffy gesture. "I'm not positive. I can't see everything from the shadows, just make out some shapes and sounds... and certain kinds of magic. That way had some noises and shapes in them." She jerked down the one that went into darkness. "Something down there is putting up a barrier. I couldn't even slip through as a shadow."

"They're probably keeping their big secrets in the sealed hall," said Doro.

"So it's like a puzzle!" Linkle said, looking excited. "If we go left we should find a key or a seal or something that will let us through! Come on!" She went on tapping her staff ahead of her just in case, but no further traps appeared. The hall took a few turns before ending in a stone door that Doro was able to shove out of the way. Inside was a wide room, about a hundred feet in each direction with a few stone pillars holding up the ceiling. The far side had a few stairs leading up in a pyramid shape, with three women in see-through silks lounging on a raised bed. They appeared to be hylians, slender and busty with long, bare legs that draped off their bed like pieces of bait. Their hair was a different color each, but matching green eyes glanced up at the entering women.

"Well hello there," one of them purred, a redhead lounging on her stomach so that her nipples were nearly visible. "Won't you join us, handsome visitors?"

"We've been so lonesome here by ourselves. We could use a big strong man," added the blonde as she knelt ran her hands through her hair.

"We won't take much of your time. Just a moment with some poor defenseless women?" a brunette cooed as she laid back and rubbed her thigh.

"Don't fall for it, Doro," Linkle warned. "This has to be another trap."

"Right..." Doro frowned and looked down at her sister. "Wait, why did you warn me? Did you think I was going to fall for this bah'shut?"

"I dunno. They're really pretty. I thought you might be distracted."

"They called us 'big strong men!' How is that not a really lousy trap?!"

"I just thought it was fair to warn..." Linkle started as the strange women started to moan and rub themselves more suggestively. "Do you mind? We're having a conversation!" The little blonde stomped her foot but the tempting women continued.

"I'm definitely picking up something off these three," Midna said with a fang-bearing snear. "These are definitely magical sluts."

"We do have ears, you know," the redhead said sternly. The moans coming from all three had abruptly stopped a moment before she spoke. "If you boys aren't even going to play along, you can at least keep from insulting us."

"I really can't," Midna giggled as impishly as could be. "Now what are you three hiding here?"

"So you think yourselves manly and pure enough to seek the temple's treasure!" the blonde piped up.

"I swear, I'm gonna be sick if they keep talking to me like I'm a voe," Doro grumbled, but Linkle shushed her.

"Yea! We passed the traps and I'm destined to seek out these sacred temples and save a princess!" Linkle declared. She did her best to bite back the "probably" and "apparently" she wanted to tack onto that sentence.

"Then you would be ready to prove thy manliness," purred the brunette. The three women rose, their translucent sashes of material draped over them uselessly. "If you can defeat us, then the weapon is yours."

Linkle's eyes darted across the three advancing women. Their bodies themselves started to become translucent in parts, much like their silks. Their eyes glowed and their painted nails grew longer and sharper. She drew her Master Sword and held it in front of her. "Everyone? Pick a partner. I'll take the pretty one," she said with a smirk.

"Which one's the pretty one?" Midna laughed, floating into the air and stretching her hair out into an oversized hand. She struck it out like a massive whip, grabbing at the redhead who darted away with surprising speed. The brunette one charged for Linkle, but she took a quick hop backward. She had been training and fighting with Doro for a long time now, so she knew when to expect her. Right on cue, she football tackled the brunette around the middle and went tumbling off in the other direction. Linkle swung her new sword at the blonde, but she raised her clawed hand and there was a metallic clang as they clashed.

"Where did you get that broken piece of scrap?" the blonde guardian spirit hissed, her flirty demeanor dropped for the time being.

"Found it in an old temple after winning a fight," Linkle explained flippantly. "So let's try for two!" She shoved hard on the sword and forced the blonde back before kicking her in the stomach to knock her on her ass.

Midna's big fist of orange-blonde hair smashed around her part of the battlefield, the redhead darting around with catlike agility. "Hold still, dammit," the imp snapped. Growing impatient enough, she split her hair down the middle and threw it out as two lesser fists. They were still huge compared to the redhead, who froze to dodge in between them. The hair-fists smashed into the wall right behind her, but that served well enough to trap her in place. Midna went flying after her and delivered a tiny but effective dropkick into her face, bouncing the spectral woman's head off the wall behind her and leaving her dazed.

"I'm usually above splitting hairs!" Midna mocked her, laughing before the woman rose and punched her hard enough to send her tumbling head over heels. Midna quickly fixed her stone hat and growled as she flew back into battle.

Doro suffered a few light scratches from the brunette before she could pin her down by the wrists. The pudgy Gerudo finally had her down with her heavy breasts hanging in her face. "Should have practiced your fighting more than your flirty, you half-ghost slut!" Doro mocked her. The woman growled and suddenly vanished from sight, leaving only a strange mist and her flowing silk garment behind. Doro's hands closed around nothing as she dropped a few inches to the floor.

"What in the...?" The mist and garment shot upward and reformed into the spectral seductress who landed on her back, wrapping her arms around Doro's neck like she was trying to choke her out. The busty brunette's chest and groin grinded against her back as the bigger woman stood up, grabbing and punching at her mounted foe.

"Too bad you didn't want to play! I like a chubby boy myself!" the brunette purred in her ear.

"That does it!" Doro grabbed and pulled on her arms again, yanking her  forward while she threw her head backwards. The reverse headbutt hit with a crack and a ghostly howl as the strange woman went flying off of her. Doro rubbed her neck and grabbed the woman by her silken scarf, wrapping it around the spectral woman's neck and yanking her back to her feet.

"No! Wait!" the brunette yelped, flailing and scratching at the Gerudo's arms. Whatever she was, her voice was apparently unaffected by the choking. "I'll do anything, sir! I'm sure you're a virile and impressive male specimen-!" Doro clocked her in the face, knocking her out cold. She faded away before she hit the ground, leaving nothing but the loose scarf behind in Doro's hand.

Linkle drove the blonde back with some swipes of her sword, the strange woman dodging or deflecting them with her claws. The unnatural blonde parried the sword aside with one hand and lunged for Linkle with the other. The little Gerudo just as quickly grabbed her short staff from her back and smacked it into the woman's belly. She grunted and reeled from the hit as Linkle unleashed a series of rapid attacks with both hands, smacking her around with sword and staff alike. Even when she landed a direct hit, the chipped blade only left a shallow cut on the ghostly woman’s skin. Not that it didn’t clearly hurt her.

Her dual-wielding barrage kept scratching up her arms while the staff kept slapping her tits or ass in painful and distracting blows. She battered the guardian back onto the main platform where their tempting bed had been. Linkle went for a finishing lunge, but the blonde woman vanished from sight apart from her scarf. Linkle's Master Sword cut right through her bed instead, slicing it in half to crumble to the ground in two pieces. Linkle started to turn back to ready herself for an ambush by the ghostly attacker, but something caught her eye. She glanced back at the chest and saw a chest of red and gold patterns. She glanced around and seeing no sign of her opponent (just the one that was trading blows with Midna), Linkle knelt down and flipped it open. The dingy old chest had a silvery bow that looked far cleaner and nicer than the container itsef. The string was bright and slim enough it was practically a beam of light, and a number of strange, broad runs were carved into the body. Linkle felt a pull to it as she plucked it out of the box.

"Hey, guys. What do you think... AH!" Linkle turned just in time to raise the bow like her staff, blocking the incoming blonde's claws. She was still pushed onto her back against the half of a bed by the specter's unnatural strength.

"We do not appreciate the easily tempted," the blonde hissed as her eyes glowed. "Nor do we appreciate thieves."

"Heads up, kid!" Midna's odd batch of hair stretched across the room and bashed the blonde, palming her and flattening her against the far wall. The woman puffed out of existence as her scarf fell to the ground. Midna was too caught up with helping Linkle, leaving her open as the redhead pounced on her and tackled the little imp to the ground.

"Heads up yourself!" Linkle rolled over on the bed to face them and raised the bow. There was no arrow with it, but she pulled its silvery string. There was a high but quiet hum as another beam of light appeared at her fingertips, shaping itself into an arrow. Linkle didn't bother to worry about the details as she fired the shot into the spectral woman. It hit her straight in the chest, but it burst into a tiny eruption of sparkling lights when it hit. It wasn't even enough to blind the attacker but she did stumble back in surprise. While the redhead looked puzzled, what little silks she was wearing suddenly flew off of her body. The specter's eyes went wide as she was suddenly left nude apart from her scarf... which also went flying off. She squeaked and tried to grab for it, but a second later she vanished from sight, letting her forcefully removed clothes drifting to the ground.

"What the hell was that?" Midna asked as she looked around the quickly cleared room.

"Well it didn't hurt her. I think..." Linkle tilted the bow around in her hand. She pulled it back again as it made the same hum and created another arrow. "I think this place had a bow that blows people's' clothes off."

"Are you serious?" Doro asked, stepping up and looking at the weapon. She frowned at the runes, tapping a thick finger on one of them. "I recognize that from one of mom's books. That's goron letters."

"What's a goron?" Linkle asked.

"They're these big fat rock guys," Midna answered as she floated over to them. "They're not usually big on bows, though. They're tough enough to walk through lava and throw boulders, so they wouldn't have to."

Doro chuckled. "Sound like my kind of people. But if it does what we think, I could see why they'd use it."

Linkle looked confused. "You do? Why don't gorons want people wearing pants?"

Dora passed it back to her. Linkle was a better shot than she ever was. "Think about it. They've got natural armor and super strength. Why not open fire with something that will knock all your armor off?"

"That or they're a bunch of pervs," Linkle giggled as she tucked it away into her pack. Midna shivered suddenly as she looked back out the door.

"Did you guys feel that?"

"Definitely not," Doro said. "What's happening?"

“That barrier from before,” Midna said, nodding back at the hallway and pointing with her hair/hand. “I can feel it lowered itself. We can use the other path.”

“That’s good, right?” Linkle asked.

“Yea... probably.”

"Then let's check it out!" Linkle stuck the bow into her pack with the rest of her weapons before jogging off ahead of her.

"It's weird, ain't it?" Midna asked.

"What did you expect?" Doro said, shrugging and following as Linkle went on checking for traps by poking anything with her staff. "It's her first time out of the village and she's having a genuine adventure. She's gonna be a little excited when sexy ghosts try to kill her in a lost temple."

"I just meant how she manages to carry all those weapons without even slowing down."

"Oh. Yea, well gerudo grow up solid in the desert. Besides, she's tougher than she looks."

The other hall was similarly lacking in traps. It lead to a single room like the first but even larger. What resembled a large pyramid stood in the center of the room, its tip touching against the ceiling. It was made of a shiny black material that neither of them recognized, but it was marked with the same seemingly nonsensical, glowing runes and lines that filled the temple. It emitted a faint beeping as pieces of it shifted and rotated methodically. As soon as they were all inside, the stone door slammed shut behind them.

A slow grinding came from the pyramid as a quick, scanning beam ran over them. "CROTCHES DETECTED!" buzzed an automated female voice. ""ENTERING COMBAT MODE!"

"Have I mentioned I hate this temple?" Doro grunted as the pieces of the pyramid started to break off and shift around. The blocky pieces moved along its surface until it formed a set of arms, then fists, then a set of legs. It ended up in the shape of an 8-foot tall, humanoid warrior, a pair of angular breasts jutting out of the chest while a pair of large lights glowed as eyes beneath its pointed helmet.

"Everyone scatter!" Linkle shouted as she ran to one side. The group split up as a big rocky fist pounded where they just were. Linkle pulled out the Master Sword and swung at its leg, just for it to vibrate and bounce right off. "Ow! Okay! Sword's not working."

Midna flew up past its head, wrapping her long hair around its neck and pulling. The golem didn't budge at first, but Doro ducked under one of its hands and shoulder checked it in the knee. That set it off balance enough to stumble back and crash into one of the walls.

"Nice one, girls!" Linkle jumped onto the dazed creature's foot, wedging the Master Sword under one of its armored plates and trying to pry it off. It was slow, but the cracking noises coming from inside told her she was making some progress.

"ACCESSING DEFENSE GRID!" The golem grabbed a part of the wall, but rather than smashing it, the runes glowed on its hand. The ones on the wall hummed a moment after, creating some unseen mystical bond between them. Doro stumbled as she felt the tiles beneath her begin to shift and rise.

"Ohhh no you don't!" Doro grabbed her pack and shoved it beneath her. One of the pistons shot up at where her crotch was going to be, but she was merely pushed back by its muffled impact instead. She gave a triumphant laugh, but another one shot out from the wall behind her. With her bent over, she could only grunt as she fell to the ground on her knees and clutch at her pussy.

"Doro! Quick! Here!" Linkle threw her staff to her sister, who snatched it out of the air despite her pain in her nethers. She grabbed her pack and slid the staff through its straps, holding it between her legs to soak up another incoming strike from the various traps. The blows still connected, but they were lessened into a strong tingling sensation.

"Great! Now it just feels weirdly hot," Doro called back. Linkle went back to trying to pry the plate off while Midna zipped through the air, dodging a burst of blunt, stony projectiles.

"ACTIVATING DICK-SEEKING MISSILES!" the golem droned on. Several large stone rods appeared in its armored plates.

"Okay, that's it. I'm out of here!" Midna dove into the nearest shadow, letting a number of the pillars punch into the wall instead of her.

"Cowardly little gremlin," Doro grunted as she stifled a moan from the room's latest attempt at a crotch shot.

"Maybe if we had a strategy for the unbreakable armored golem I'd be more cooperative! Does this thing look hurt at all to you!?" Midna objected from her shadowy hideout.

"Wait... armor!" Linkle sheathed her sword again and jumped off of the golem's foot. She braced her legs on a pair of already raised pillars, too high for the other traps to get her as she drew her bow. "If it strips people and ghosts..." she muttered as she aimed and shot the golem in the arm. The light arrow buried into the plating and a moment later there was a noise like shattering glass. The entire armored plate fell off of the arm, the black material beneath gleaming and seeming to writhe around on its body.

"I got it!" she cheered as the golem turned its head to look at the exposed limb. The arm shivered for a moment and then retracted entirely into its body. It stomped after the girls again as Linkle frowned and hopped to the next platform. "Well that's no fair! How did it even do that?"

Midna poked her head out and frowned. "It can't... it didn't even bulk up or anything." The fanged imp smirked and floated back out into the mayhem. "I've got this. You just keep chipping away, kid!" Midna lunged at the golem, but rather than attacking she ducked into one of the shadows of its armor next to the stump that was its exposed arm. The golem stumbled unsteadily as if trying to keep its balance now that it was short one arm and plus one imp, just for Linkle to shoot it with another light arrow in the leg. The plate fell off once again, and this time Doro hurried to her feet and punched it in the black-skinned limb. The golem let out a monsterous shrieking noise as it fell over backward.

Inside the strange creature, Midna probed around in the darkness. There was plenty of it inside the machine's internal moving parts, giving her a lot of room to search through. She found one spot that was actually lit up, several strange computer-like devices blinking in a tiny chamber. A squat red creature hardly bigger than herself was poking and pulling on the various runes and lights inside.

"What the... hey! You!" Midna poked her head out of the shadows. The creature jumped and squealed in surprise. It turned to face her, showing it to be a very female bokoblin. Its small and chubby frame sported a bulging set of breasts, wearing a loincloth and a tiny bikini-style top. A piggish nose and a short horn poked out of her head as she glared at Midna. She squealed some gibberish and pointed accusingly at Midna.

"No, YOU'RE cheating!" Midna snapped. "You're using a giant crotch-punching mecha!" The piggish creature giggled and smiled wickedly. "Now shut it off before I kick you out!"

The bokoblin girl shoved a few buttons and Midna could hear the grinding noises as the parts moved around her. "That's it!" Midna pushed the rest of the way out of crevice, tackling into the bokoblin. The piggy creature shrieked as her face was mashed into the nearest set of controls. The little part of the golem wasn't even meant to fit one small creature, and two of them made it ridiculously cramped. The bokoblin shoved Midna back, bouncing her head off of the top of the chamber.

"Ow! You little shit!" Midna braced her hands on the roof of their improvised control center, stomping on the bokoblin's squishy head to bounce it off more controls. The bokoblin bit her tiny foot, making her yelp and fall over. The cramped space didn't give her much of a direction to land in, so she twisted around and sat her big ass on the bokoblin's face. "You should have left room for me to sit, bacon butt!"

Back outside, Doro and Linkle kept their distance from the flailing and stumbling golem. "What the hell is she doing in there?" Doro said as she took another jump back to avoid the next stone foot.

"At least it's not focusing on us," Linkle pointed out as she sent another shot into its arm. The plating vibrated and fell off, letting Doro grab one of the expended stone missiles and threw it to leave a nasty dent in its exposed arm. Its movement started becoming more sluggish and creaky, even as its awkward flailing went on.

"Come on!" Midna barked, bouncing her butt on the monster's head and squashing its broad nose beneath her cheeks. "I know you have an escape hatch or something on here! Open it up and we can let you go!" The pig got its face out of her ass long enough to gasp in a breath and squeal something else at her.

"No, YOU'RE a bitch, bitch! YOW!" The bokoblin twisted her head so she could ram her horn up Midna's ass. It wasn't especially sharp, but it still went deeper inside her than she wanted. Midna kicked frantically at the bokoblin's face and tits, the two shortstacks tumbling over each other in the confined space. As the bokoblin landed on top of her and pulled on her pointed ears, Midna glanced at the nearest console, recognizing one of the symbols. She lashed out with her hair, grabbing and pulling the lever.

From the outside, the golem's fist raised and punched itself in the chestplate. Doro pointed it out and Linkle took another shot, blasting its chestplate out into pieces. The fist swung again, this time punching through its own bared chest (Linkle wondered who had chiseled nipples onto the golem). On the inside, Midna flattened herself into the nearest shadow, getting all but her head out of the room as her hair send the golem fist smashing up through the pod. The bokoblin let out a shrill squeal as the hand the size of a small bouldest smashed her right between her chunky thighs. The pig monster went flying out the other side of the robotic creation riding its fist before it smacked into the opposite wall. Linkle stared in confusion as the squealing creature went running past them and out of the temple, holding its crushed crotch with both hands.

"What the hell just happened?" Linkle asked, but Doro pulled her arm to get her out of the way. The golem came crashing to the ground, its black metal starting to fade like sand in the wind. A few large chunks of stone stayed behind as the black material stopped holding them together. Midna finally popped out of one of the pieces, dusting herself off.

"I took out our friend here's pilot. I guess we damaged it enough to shut it down," Midna explained.

"Good," Doro huffed. "That thing was a pain in the ass."

Midna rubbed her tender rear. "Please don't use that around me for a while. But I guess there wasn't much to do here. Just that weird bow. Maybe the gorons will pay good for it if we go by them."

"Look!" Linkle ran up to the still-dissolving golem, climbing onto one of the hunks of stone. She brushed away the last of the black material on it and picked up what looked like a silvery-white chip of metal. She held it up to the light, where it quickly began to glow. "You don't think..." she muttered. Before finishing her thought, she pulled out the Master Sword. It too started to glow, and as she held them close together the chip flew out of her hand. It fit perfectly into one of the many missing pieces of the original blade.

"No shit!" Midna gasped. "There was a piece of the sword here? No wonder it felt all like destiny up in here!"

"I mean, it's seen better days, to be sure," Doro admitted. "But definitely a step up."

Linkle gave it a few practice swings. It felt like it moved a little smoother, but then another piece fell off the handle. She frowned at the crumbling legendary weapon. "So uh... Midna? How do we fix this thing anyway?"

The imp was floating around the golem, reading what runes were left on the old stones. "I mean, it's ancient. It had lost stories even from when I was awake. But if you want anything forged, you get it on Death Mountain."

"That's seriously a place's real name?!" Linkle blurted, a big grin on her face. "That’s so cool!”

"Yea, it was a little north of here, last I checked. Those gorons I mentioned are experts. When you eat rocks and live in lava, how can you not be?"

Linkle picked up the most recently lost piece and looked to Doro. "Is that in our direction? Like with the princess?"

"I think so. I haven't seen much for tracks, but if it has a decent mountain path, they might have taken that rather than hiking like we did." As her sister rolled out the map, Linkle looked over the remains of the golem. She suddenly felt goosebumps on her skin as she looked over the nonsensical markings. She shivered and was about to rub her arms when a sense of heat ran through her, like she was blushing from head to do... or just absolutely furious about something.

"Hey, Midna? What's this piece say?" The imp floated down to sit on her shoulder and squint.

"Huh... it says... 'created by Ganondorf Industries. Provider of fine inventions, weapons and groundbreaking technologies.' I guess he was some old tinkerer who made some of this lost tech you keep hearing about." She shrugged as she turned to leave. "He must have been some kind of jerk to use a piece of the Master Sword as a fuel source. Gotta be long dead by now, though, so serve 'em right."

They left the temple and between Midna's memory and Doro's sketched maps, it made logical sense that the princess would have at least gotten close to Death Mountain. Without any clearer clues, they made their way back down the hills to see what the ominous mountains had in store for them.