Caption Pic: Goblin Heat

Another random prompt from the Shortstack threads asking for a goblin who doesn't understand birth control.

“I saw the most fucked up thing today! I was at the store gettin’ junk food, and there’s this human chick. My face is basically in her ass. Whatever. The usual. But I hear her ask the staff where they keep the birth control! Can you believe it? Why would she even…?

“What? Yea, embarrassing is right! This’ just fucked up! Who wouldn’t want to get knocked up all the time!? I thought ‘she fucking with me, and not in the pull my ears and call me a slut’ kind of way. But I follow her and there is a FUCKING isle for not getting preggers! Humans are FUCKED up, man! There was all these  pills and gizmos to put in your cooch and these potions and gels that keep out the baby batter. Who…? I don’t… they have literal balloons for putting your splooge in instead of wombs! Condoms! Yea, thanks.

“I just don’t get it, hon. What is it with you humans? I know you’ve never been there, but it is fucking amazing having a little shot of your love up in me all day. It just sorta squishes around right in the womb and it just feels like mating season. With how much you shoot into me, sometimes I jiggle my butt around and I can hear it splash around in there. I don’t know what your deal is. Why have genders if you’re not gonna rut around the clock? Why else do you think there’s so many preggo goblins out walking the streets?

Me? Pregnant? Oh yea. Totally. At my age, I’ve been through a couple mating seasons, and when those kick in, just TRY and stop me. I just get like a walking clit and womb on the hunt for dick. We goblins are built for breeding. It just feels so good being preggers. You got this whole extra gravity down there, and it’s kind of this liiiiittle bit of pressure on your guts. Ya feel all good and full of life, and when I sit just the right away that pressure goes all the way down to my pussy. My hormones go nuts and sex is even crazier, and I think you remember how nuts I am in the sack already, big guy. My tits get ridiculous, and I can’t even change my underwear without getting a little wet. 

“In fact… I think I’m due to go into heat next month. Just remember to call my job and tell them I’ll be out for a week or two. Oh, and stay hydrated. Long as we’re dating, you’re totally helping me through it. In fact, I even heard they just released this pill to keep us in heat whenever you want. Can you imagine how awesome that would be?! Just remember; none of those sissy human condom shit.”