The Titan 26

Chapter 26:

– Grail –

“Wham!”

“OW! My fucking nose! Fuck you, bitch!” Penguin clutched his bleeding face, his stubby fingers scrambling for a handkerchief. “What the hell did I ever do to you assholes?!”

Grail wiped the blood off her knuckles onto his ridiculous little suit. “I don’t know,” she said, cracking her neck. “That’s what I’m trying to find out.” She grabbed him by the lapels, yanking him up like he weighed nothing. “Tell me what you know about the assholes with the bright lights.” Her free hand cocked back, fingers twitching for another punch.

Titus had made her promise not to kill any villains. Or permanently maim them. Unless they really, really deserved it. Unfortunately, according to him, this slimy little bastard didn’t. Apparently, Penguin wasn’t much of a criminal these days. He mostly made his money off his sleazy nightclubs, not outright crime.

But at the mention of the bright lights, Penguin’s face paled.

Titus, standing nearby with his arms folded, stepped forward. “You know who we’re talking about, don’t you?” he asked.

“I don’t know shit,” Penguin spat, his voice muffled by the blood still pouring from his nose. “And if I did, I’d be dead before morning! I ain’t stupid enough to tell you morons anything. Superpowers or not, you don’t know what you’re fucking with.”

Grail rolled her eyes and glanced at Titus. “Want me to punch him again?” she asked, lips quirking up in a smirk.

Titus shook his head. “He won’t talk. If Batman couldn’t get this guy to confess to anything, then we sure as hell won’t.” He exhaled, rubbing his chin. “At least we’re on the right track. If even other villains are scared, then we’re definitely dealing with something big.”

Penguin grumbled as he stuffed a rag up his nostrils to stop the bleeding. “You don’t know the half of it, junior. And I ain’t telling you the other half, so don’t even ask.”

Grail scoffed. The tiny human was actually trying to act tough around two beings who could crush him like a bug. “At least your balls are probably bigger than your pint-sized ass would suggest.”

Penguin sneered, but she didn’t care. Instead, she reached over, swiped a bottle of liquor right off his desk, popped it open, and took a deep swig.

“Oi!” Penguin’s beady eyes bulged. “That’s a 1913 vintage bourbon! Worth over three hundred grand a bottle! Don’t go chugging it like some cheap beer!”

Grail flipped him off and drained the rest, barely tasting the burn before she tossed the empty bottle against the wall. It shattered into expensive little shards. “You better hope the next villains we run into are bigger pussies than you,” she said, her eyes glowing red with the slow burn of her Omega Beams. “Or we’ll be back. And I don’t give a shit about hero rules. I’ll make you fucking squeal, birdy.”

Penguin gulped audibly as she and Titus leapt out the window, vanishing into the night.

Titus chuckled as they soared above Gotham. “I’m sure Batman’s gonna send me a strongly worded message about this later...”

Grail snorted at Titus as they hovered high above Gotham. She had no idea why he respected Batman so much. The guy was just a regular human in a bat suit. Sure, he was smart, but he wasn’t exactly throwing planets around like some of the heavy hitters.

And yet, she supposed, during the rare times she’d actually spoken to her father, Darkseid—when he wasn’t being a complete arrogant prick—he’d warned her about Earth’s most dangerous hero. It wasn’t Superman or Wonder Woman. No, Darkseid had said it was Batman.

He never explained why, and back then, Grail had been too cocky to ask. Or maybe just too proud. Now? She still wasn’t sure she gave a shit, but it lingered in the back of her mind. Not that it mattered. She’d already flipped sides or whatever the fuck at this point anyway.

Darkseid could fuck off and die for all she cared. Selling her out to those Light-show assholes had been the final nail in the coffin. She didn’t even question why he did it—it was obvious. The bastard was scared. Afraid she’d take his throne on Apokolips one day. Not that she would’ve. That place sucked. Hell, they didn’t even have Pop-Tarts. Or TV. What kind of goddamn civilization didn’t have TV?

Maybe getting sold off wasn’t the worst thing. At least she ended up on Earth, met Titus, and, well, claimed him as her man. He didn’t argue about it, so that was pretty much settled in her mind. That didn’t mean she was letting go of her revenge, though.

“Where should we go next?” Titus asked, snapping her out of her thoughts. He was giving her the lead now. They hovered a couple miles above Gotham, the city lights flickering below them.

Going after the Penguin first had been Titus's idea, since the "villain" was an information broker and supposedly knew shit. Pfft, the guy was a pussy and wouldn't tell them anything useful. Way lamer than the criminals on TV. Speaking of that--Did she remember to record today’s episodes?

Shit... There was a big cliffhanger and everything too that she was going to miss out on!

"You alright there, Grail?" Titus asked her. "You look a bit distracted."

"I'm just figuring out who we should beat up next," Grail half lied. "Hmm… Why don't we go and visit..."

– Titus –

…I didn’t expect the guards at Arkham to just let Grail and me stroll in like we owned the place, but here we were. No resistance, no questions—just a straight walk through the high-tech security doors like we had a damn VIP pass.

A guard led us through the winding halls, past thick steel doors with reinforced locks. “If you two are here to interrogate him,” the guard said, glancing back at us, “all I can say is good luck. The Batman stops by weekly and never gets anything useful out of this monster.”

“I don’t think he’s going to know anything useful, Grail,” I told her.

She turned her head, winked at me, and grinned. “I just thought I’d do something nice for you—let you punch the guy in the face a few times.”

The guard nearly tripped over his own feet at that, then cleared his throat. “I didn’t hear that.”

By the time we reached the Joker’s cell, he was already glaring at us, his mad grin stretching across his face. “What the fuck are you two doing here?” he snapped.

I smirked. “Hey, buddy, don’t get up on our account.”

Not that he could. The bastard was strapped to his bed, a permanent quadriplegic after I broke him like a pretzel.

“You think you’re so fucking funny, don’t you?!” The Joker spat, his head whipping around wildly. “I’m not the butt of anyone’s joke! I’ll get my limbs back, I’ll kill everyone in this shithole, and then I’m coming for you, super-brat! I’ll murder everyone you care about! Does that sound like a joke to you?!” Spit flew from his mouth as he ranted, his eyes burning with a rage that didn’t match his broken body.

The guard stiffened beside me, clearly unnerved.

I wasn’t. Truth be told, I knew Joker wouldn’t stay down forever. Someone, somehow, would fix him—be it fate, dumb luck, or another crazy villain wanting to help the Joker. He'd eventually get fixed up.

And when that day came, I wouldn’t be putting him back in Arkham. I’d be putting him down for good. I wasn’t letting what he did to that other Earth ever happen here.

“Wow, he sounds mad,” Grail said with a smirk, bumping my shoulder to lighten the mood.

I grinned back, ignoring the guard’s visible exhale of relief. “Yeah, he does.” I paused for a second. "You mad bro?"

"Yes I'm fucking mad! I'm literally wearing a diaper with poop in it!"

That explains the gross smell in the room...

"How bout I give you something else to be mad about instead?" I then punched Joker square in the face. His head snapped back, and a satisfying crunch echoed in the room. I broke his nose.

“Yoush bashtardsh!” Joker slurred, his eyes watering. “Thish is illeshgal! Shuperhero brutality! Tell themsh guardsh!” 

I glanced at the guard, who hesitated for a split second before smirking. “I didn’t see nothing. I didn’t hear nothing.”

“Right on,” Grail said, strolling up to Joker and casually slapping him across the face for good measure. He sputtered in indignation, but all he could do was take it.

“Alright, this was fun,” I said, shaking out my fist. “But I suppose we should move on.”

The guard led us down a different hallway toward a closer exit. As we passed a section of glass-walled cells, I spotted a few familiar faces locked inside.

Harley Quinn was waving enthusiastically from behind the glass. “Hey, look, Ivy! It’s the handsome new hero who let us go earlier!” 

Sure enough, Poison Ivy was also trapped behind a wall of glass, right next to Harley Quinn’s cell.

“You let them go before?” the guard asked me.

“Er—pretend you didn’t hear that part,” I muttered. “It’s not like they were hurting anyone. They were just robbing an empty store.”

“Are you sure you didn’t just let them both go because they’re hot as fuck?” Grail asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

“Thank you so much!” Harley beamed at Grail. “Who are you, by the way? I don’t recognize you from any of the Joker’s kill books.”

I rolled my eyes. Of course, the Joker would be the type of petty villain who kept books full of people he wanted dead.

“We have a TV in the mess hall,” Poison Ivy pointed out. “Her face has been all over it the past week. She’s Darkseid’s daughter.”

“She is?” Harley exclaimed.

“It has?” Grail asked, genuinely surprised. “I didn’t know that.”

“I didn’t know that either,” I admitted. “Then again, I don’t really watch TV.”

Harley waved a dismissive hand. “You know I don’t watch any of that shit, Ivy. It’s all just fake news anyway. I’m a respectable supervillain—I get all my information off conspiracy subreddits.”

Ivy groaned, rubbing her green fingers over her face. “That explains so much, honestly…”

I stepped closer to the glass, hands on my hips. “So how did you two end up getting captured? And where’s Catwoman?”

“Ha! That stupid kitty ran the second the Bats showed up,” Harley laughed. “Left us to fend for ourselves.” She pouted dramatically, then smirked. “Just kidding! We love the Pretty Kitty. No hard feelings. Us female villains gotta stick together—girl power and all that.”

I nodded, knowing I wasn’t getting a straight answer from Harley. So I turned back to Ivy.

“Catwoman’s not considered crazy, so even if she was caught, she wouldn’t end up in Arkham,” Ivy explained.

“And she’s banging Batman!” Harley added gleefully.

“We don’t know that for sure,” Ivy muttered, rolling her eyes. She then explained that they were robbing another store a couple days ago and ran into Batman, which landed them back here.

“I bet we’ll escape within the week!” Harley said proudly, before suddenly remembering she was talking to a Justice League member. She mimed zipping her lips. “I mean, I’m gonna stay here and rehabilitate like a good little girl...”

Grail snorted.

The security guard nearby just rubbed his temples like he’d heard this all before. “At least they don’t hurt the guards too bad whenever they decide to break out. There are worse villains in here to deal with.”

“Oh, that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said about me!” Harley cooed, winking at the poor man, who sighed and muttered something about not getting paid enough for this shit.

"It was… interesting chatting with you two ladies," I said, which was probably the nicest way I could put it. "But Grail and I have to go now..."

“We’re on a crusade to punch as many villains in the face today as we can,” Grail added cheerfully.

"Holy shit, that’s awesome!" Harley gasped. "How have we never met before? We could’ve been best friends this whole time!"

"Probably 'cause I was raised on a fiery hellscape planet," Grail said with a shrug.

We turned to leave, but before we could take more than a step, Harley called after us. "Wait, don’t go yet! Ivy and I have been so bored. They only let us out for a couple hours a day, otherwise we’re stuck in these cells. The only thing we can do is flirt with each other, and that gets old real fast when we can’t move on to foreplay or any of the fun parts."

Huh. So Harley and Ivy being an actual thing was true after all. Batman and Diana had both thought it was just a rumor.

"Can’t you stick around and entertain us a little longer?" Harley asked, fluttering her lashes like a cartoon character.

Grail narrowed her glowing red eyes at Harley before slinging an arm around my shoulder. "You might be pretty funny, bitch, but back off—Titus is mine."

"That’s okay!" Harley grinned. "We can share. I can let you have some fun with my girlfriend Ivy while me and the hunk get to know each other better, and then we can swap afterwards!" She literally started panting. 

…Wow, she was really pent up. 

Grail actually seemed to be considering it.

Turns out, when Poison Ivy blushes, her cheeks don’t turn pink. Instead, she just gets greener, with the slightest hint of red thrown in. She sputtered and started begging Harley to stop announcing their sex life to every person they met.

"But how else will they know how much we love each other!?" Harley whined, clinging to Ivy dramatically.

I chuckled and turned my attention to Ivy while Harley and Grail got deep into a discussion about… whatever the hell they were talking about. "While we’re here, you wouldn’t happen to know anything about a shadowy yet very bright villain organization springing up across the world, would you? Whatever it is, it has Penguin absolutely terrified."

Ivy raised an eyebrow. "Villain organization?" She scoffed. "Anytime villains try to work together, it always falls apart. They betray or try to kill each other. That’s why we’re called villains. That’s why I pretty much only work with Harley or Catwoman. It's too hard to trust anyone else."

"Fair enough," I said. "But if they’re not killing each other, who would I be looking out for?"

Ivy gave me a look that made me feel like an idiot. "Follow the money," she said simply. "A whole organization? They’d need secret bases, tech, manpower. That all costs a fortune. And if they’re keeping their members quiet, that costs even more. Very expensive," she reiterated.

I nodded, realization clicking into place. I was after someone rich. Someone rich and sneaky. Now who exactly did that sound like? The answer was pretty obvious and I probably should have expected it since I was half-Kryptonian and there was one rich and sneaky guy out there with a real hate boner for our kind.

I turned back to Grail, and it looked like she was wrapping up her conversation with Harley at the same time.

"We should definitely set up a four-way date when Ivy and I bust out of here! I promise it'll be incredible!"

"I'll think about it," Grail said with a smirk and turned back to me.

"I overheard everything you and the green hottie were talking about, by the way. Looks like we’re about to punch some rich asshole in the face."

"Not just some rich asshole, but a bald rich asshole," I corrected. "I guess after getting tired of failing to kill—my father—" I added that part begrudgingly before continuing, "Lex Luthor went and joined some kind of secret club."

– Batman –

Batman sat in the Batcave, eyes fixed on the Batcomputer. He had every camera in Arkham tapped, ensuring he always knew what the imprisoned villains were up to.

Naturally, Titus showing up at Arkham with Grail just hours after visiting him and Jason that morning piqued Batman’s curiosity. So, he watched and listened through the cameras.

Seeing the Joker so helpless as Titus broke his nose… was actually quite cathartic.

"Is that legal?" Alfred asked with a smirk as Grail casually slapped the clown across the face.

"Nope," Batman admitted, though he couldn't help the small grin beneath his cowl.

Then things got even more interesting when Titus ran into Harley and Ivy before leaving Arkham.

Batman had already known Titus let them escape once before—that night when he’d been searching for Jason. He hadn’t cared much about it then.

What he did care about was the fact that Titus was investigating a hidden organization of villains. If Lex Luthor was truly funding such an operation, then Batman needed to know more. And regardless of how powerful Titan was as a hero, Batman wanted to make sure he wasn't getting in over his head so quickly after he just made it back.

"Fuel up the jet, Alfred. I’m taking a quick trip to Metropolis."

"Very good, sir."

XXX