Patreon, R&P Q&A #298
Added 2024-12-18 22:04:56 +0000 UTC
Comments
They show up again after a while
Op Sec
2024-12-20 17:27:18 +0000 UTCI did not watch live. Does anybody know how I can see the links he posted in the live chat? It's not showing them for me
Aqua
2024-12-20 05:45:45 +0000 UTCOh yes. I relate. I have managed to split our tasks over the years. But big money decisions come up and it is a muddling system we have. As most, especially family, businesses are. I let her pull the trigger on things and somtines they work and somtimes they don’t. Time and trial and error iron these things out. Don’t obsess on them. Move on. Make your decision and squash her tantrum. Next day…. Be the oak so to speak.
Cousin Eddie
2024-12-19 19:04:47 +0000 UTCI have a constantly complaining passenger and it is getting quite old.
Volare Alto
2024-12-19 18:59:58 +0000 UTCRead, listen, keep reporting.
Cousin Eddie
2024-12-19 18:53:58 +0000 UTCFat adds tones of age. So if you are at a correct weight people will always think you are younger. Need to work on flirting. .. the thanks and move on is good. Maybe: “ I was going for debonair with a touch of academic. But “good” will work.” Then change it to her… you have a euro professional look mixed with a keen, but potentially dangerous shoe selection. (Push pull) Her… what does that mean. You your shop laces. 13 century…. Learn to ramble…. Have fun. Age: “fuck,you gave it away… I am really 89. “ … ramble. Start building a lane (game). And work on it. Here is another example. Her.. you:”you want to know the secret. Don’t you?” (Smirk). … it vasalinr mixed with pulpary. Shhhh. Ramble….
Cousin Eddie
2024-12-19 18:41:06 +0000 UTCThere is a point you have to cut the self doubt. “I am the shit because I am the shit…. People, even trannies, want to be around the shit.” Your response was fine. The Subtext is important. If you smiled… water off a ducks back then it was fine. If you said it as if you were offended then reread “I am the shit…”
Cousin Eddie
2024-12-19 17:35:44 +0000 UTCYou can delete and then copy paste into the correct place. Patreon sucks.
Cousin Eddie
2024-12-19 17:30:24 +0000 UTCI noted the book. (New to me). That kind of diet is basically what works for me. Devil is in the details…. I will read. I like this kind of post. I say that because I get challenged for righting victory posts sometimes. I would rather see consistent posts, even if they are in the nature of victory, layups, or even lean towards diary posts…. rather than no posts for 6 months then a posts that demonstrates massive regression.
Cousin Eddie
2024-12-19 17:28:04 +0000 UTCDid you see a lawyer and draft papers? All money you are making and saving should be pulled from the banks (cash) Start sourcing a new place to live. Take baby steps to completely leave. It is her responsibility to make sure you are secure with her fidelity. You decide what that is. So if she is not literally fucking him but putting herself in horrible situations that will end up bad…with a similar result. Then it is the same thing.
Cousin Eddie
2024-12-19 17:15:09 +0000 UTCFR #6 [Bear mode] Probably should have been more specific with what bear mode means, here's a quick description i grabbed from online - a method of weight gain meant to maximize muscle growth and lift potential while focusing on both increased performance, and perhaps even more important for some, looking as big as possible while still being clothed. I have broad shoulders with the naturally slim waist (30") and visible abs (overrated, imo) so this will be perfect for me. Link for more context: https://steelsupplements.com/blogs/steel-blog/7-bear-mode-tips-to-help-you-bulk-like-jeff-nippard Goals: 1. Weigh 172lb. by the end of Winter 2. Weigh 184lb. by the end of Spring Currently 159.7lb Was helping take care of sick kids, so I didn't get to lift last week. [School/Work] Goals: 1. Graduate in the Spring with Business Degree 2. Use Degree to secure a government job by Fall Working 60-65 hours between both jobs. 3 classes, Week 8/8, A, A, B. [Finances] Goals: 1. Save $1000 for an emergency fund by the end of January 2. Pay off all CC debt ($8000) using the snowball method by December 2025 As for the employee stocks that I mentioned last week, I use that as sort of a forced savings every 6 months. It gets invested straight from my paycheck, and I get a 15% discount right off the bat, and I don't really care to hold long-term. I am waiting for a lawyer to call me so I can get a rough idea of what my next financial moves should be. I'm probably gonna have to end up making my wife work for a few months before I pull the plug so I don't have to pay CS/alimony. [Social/Game] Goals: 1. Get comfortable opening everyone 2. Practice opening then teasing women 3. Cultivate as many options as I can Still randomly chit-chatting with strangers, although nothing memorable. Only ever get out on the weekends when I'm doing errands, so I need to find more fun shit to do. I was thinking about going to this one sports bar I keep hearing about weekend nights, and I'm probably going to do it this week. Recently stumbled upon the old Fast Seduction site and am now going through the recommended beginner stuff, which begins with david shade’s eye contact experiments. I'm doing beginner mode, which basically consists of making eye contact without smiling or breaking away first. If she smiles, I smile. If she says "Hi" I say it back etc. Once I can do this consistently with HB9's I can move on to "mastery" version. [Relationships] Goals: 1. Destroy all Covert Contracts 2. Figure out what my boundaries are, then enforce them 3. Stop being afraid of my wife's emotions 4. Increase Dread Victim Puke Never did one of these, so I'm cashing it in now. Got an opportunity to go through wifes phone a couple of days ago. Went through the messages between her and her drug dealer friend, who I've made it clear I don't like. 95%, sure they've done something sexual. Saw a lot of stuff; flirting, drunk texting, going out behind my back, lies, him being over while I'm not home, her letting him co-babysit with her sister (who he's banging) when I explicitly stated I don't want anyone else over. I work nights, which is when most of this shit goes on. It's not the first time something like this has happened (caught her calling and texting ex a few years back), so I'm not really surprised. Did everything beta thing but leave back then because of a lack of options. It was only a matter of time before something like this happened again, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't still sting. I've been going through a lot of emotions past a couple of days, but right now, I'm floating between anger and apathy. I was able to take pictures of all the messages on my phone. She doesn't know I have her passcode, and my OPSEC is on point. The only thing to do now is keep my stupid mouth shut and collect any evidence I come across while turning myself into a man who would walk out the door at the first sign of discovering this bullshit. I've officially demoted wife to sex doll/babysitter. Speaking of which, I'm getting some dick balm in the mail tomorrow to help with PE. I'm qoing to need to last more than a few minutes if I'm going to properly hate fuck her. It'll also be good practice for any potential plates I'll have in the future, not to mention the confidence that comes with knowing I can handle myself in the bedroom if need be. Got to be careful with rejecting her attempts at affection. I caught myself doing it more than I normally do and it made her question why. I played it off as being cheeky because I definitely don't want to tip her off to what I actually know. It just makes me mad the way someone can act so loving while still being shady behind your back. Instead of watching TV with her on the weekends before bed like I normally I just say I'm tired and go to bed early to get some much needed rest. My time this week was spent mostly on laundry/cleaning/meal prepping. The rest went to my children. I like this setup. Still working on killing the oneitis. Whenever I seem to be coming around to the idea of divorcing, my brain has to hamster some shitty excuse. Like maybe if she loses 100 pounds, gets her shit together, and brings me a new chick to bang every day while feeding me grapes at the same time, THEN I'll stay. I know the standard advice, like whoever cares more loses and the relationship is the woman's job. I'm just acknowledging that it's going to take me a while to change my mindset. The best fix I found for now is to imagine how me and the kids and I's lives are going to look in the future.
Aqua
2024-12-19 16:23:08 +0000 UTCI just got my Judo brown belt. I started posting here and living my own life two years ago. This is the result. Competing in a sport that has weight classes keeps you from getting off the rails and is a huge motivator for keeping your weight in check. The wife never says anything, but occasionally side eyes me when I’m getting out the shower like she hates that I look good. My last gold medal match, “I think I’ll just grab him and throw him”, I said to the black belt coaching me. “ok, sounds like you have a plan” 10 seconds later the opponent was frustrated. Being able to do that to a grown man that is trying to fuck you up is a great motivator for the weight room. Nonetheless, I felt like I wasn't as dialed in as I would like. So, I re-read leangains book from Martin Berkhan. I would say it’s the only diet book you need and the only one I would wholeheartedly recommend reccomend. He’s known for intermittent fasting, but it’s mostly not about that. It’s about eating a fuck ton of protein.
Op Sec
2024-12-19 11:57:08 +0000 UTCdamn, physically a woman(I know plenty of chicks that bench more than you). Using female sexual strategy. your wife amog’ed you. On one hand this is your life and it’s sad, but on the other hand it’s fucking funny and you can only go up from here. Little improvements in getting your shit together will pay big dividends at this stage. best of luck hope you stick it out.
Op Sec
2024-12-19 11:49:16 +0000 UTCyou did a thing, you lifted. Did you start getting compliments after. If so it’s because lifting changes your mindset. Calibration: Half squat with a 200lb dude on your back is still pretty weak for martial arts. Go full squat. Getting validation from the compliments you are getting is not “red pill”. Every fucking guy, you included, that says shit like “Rollo’s chart” or “red pill works” unironically is a retard. Disregard the compliments, and work on becoming internally validated. What exactly did you think you did?
Op Sec
2024-12-19 11:40:15 +0000 UTCWhenever I take my wife out, it’s never with the intention of fucking her. It’s more like, I want to go see something and it would be nice to have company. We never fuck after a show. I generally fuck her the day before. I used to have this covert contract. It’s easy to say when you get it regularly, but after going out, I’m tired and want to sleep. When I was single, I would have a drink with a chick. Then we would fuck. Taking a girl out is not something you do to fuck. If my wife didn’t want to fuck, I’d be going out all the time, without her.
Op Sec
2024-12-19 11:33:30 +0000 UTCyou don’t have to vet for actually a chick because even convincing ones are obvious. I talked to one once at a coffee shop, it was weird, looked like a chick but wanted to talk about guns and cars. Why do you think you needed to AA that. The creep walked off without drama, what do you want? This reads like a dear diary entry. There is nothing proactive in here.
Op Sec
2024-12-19 11:21:03 +0000 UTCMate, I don’t know where to start, except maybe grab some popcorn. So, coming from another dad of multiple kids, This is probably the hardest part for you right now. You have a young kid and another on the way. Your wife is pregnant, and hormones are whack. On top of a 2yo and all the shit that comes with dealing with that. You are just beginning your journey… You have no clue , no map, no direction, and mostly , no balls. Kudos to you, however, for seeing a lawyer and getting advice. Also, kids get sick; it sucks and makes everything infinitely harder. Earlier this year, all mine got sick one after the other, and of course, so do both of us. My son got hit super bad, and it was about three months of nightly coughing, blood noses, vomiting, etc., and this was also just as school started on top of us moving house to a new area and having no one to help. It was fucked to put it nicely. If you haven’t read the sidebar or watched the sidebar series, Read no more Mr. Nice Guy, and when I say no, I feel guilty. That’s where you gotta start. As for staying or leaving, no one here is going to tell you what to do; that’s your call. I think you got a chance to swing things around, but it’s going to be probably a few years of pain of doing the 2-year monkey dance plus some more before you finally get it.
Fez
2024-12-19 10:26:16 +0000 UTCChapter 298 Not much of an update this week, but here’s the rundown: Xmas Work Party Shenanigans Had a solid smash session the day before my work Christmas party since I was staying in town that night. The party itself was decent, and afterward, we hit a few bars for the after-party vibe. It was a tropical theme, so I was peacocking a bit more than usual—stood out in the crowd. At one bar, I got hit on by someone who I’m pretty sure was a tranny. Convincing apart from the voice and extremely forward. “I’m really after some ‘coke,’” they said—[not the soda kind.] I was caught off guard and didn’t AA it properly. In hindsight, “I’m more of a Pepsi guy” would’ve been the play, but instead, I just said, “I’m sure you’ll find some tonight,” and walked off. Have a good night… It left me wondering: Do I give off gay vibes? Or was it just the outfit? Either way, interactions like that make me glad I’m not single—having to vet for “actually a chick” sounds exhausting. Shark Week Returns Shark week is back. The usual signs: headaches, bad sleep, general aches, and then the cuntiness. She mentioned today I’ve been “too aggressive,” likely because I was upping the kino and playful teasing the past couple of days. We usually smash day or so before shark week hits, but not this time. She also hit me with a shit test about going away for the Xmas party and not coming home early, Last shark week, I managed to get head, so that was a win. Let’s see if this week has any upside. That’s it for now. Nothing groundbreaking, but figured I’d check in.
Fez
2024-12-19 09:45:23 +0000 UTCUntil now I did not include lifting in my MAP. I have a base level fitness and practise martial arts since dinosaur time. I also have added a calisthenics program. There are some gymnastic moves I would like to be able to do. After some progress with the pushups, rings and core strength I plateaued. So I decided to start the 5x5 program with the purpose to gain some strength that will help with the calisthenics stuff. I am currently at the 65 pounds on the bar. I know I should be able to lift heavier, I can do a half squat with a 200 pound guy on my back (judo/jujitsu technique). I prefer to start slowly though to ensure my body adapts well and I don't get injured because some obscure tendon/muscle is too weak. Also technique needs to improve. Two wins lately. After some hiatus, I got back to the office again. With 2 collegues we decided to have coffee and the office assistant joined us which is unusual. We started the discussion and I realised she is looking at me: a fixed stare, big round eye. I continued the discussion with the collegues. I noticed she continued staring and decided to address that. I turned to her and look her in the eyes and she says "You look good!". I am not used to this and don't know how appropriate it is in a work context. We work together since a long time. This came out of the blue. I said "Thank you, that is nice" and moved on. It may sound simple, but it made my day. It is unusual for me to be directly complimented like that. It did not sound forced or obliged at all. I know not to read too much into it. That in a different context and that opens the door to some fun time. The second was at the Christmas party at work. At one point some girl decided to guess the age of the guys. One girl was quite successful in the game. For me she guessed 10 year younger than reality. That puts me just past peak sexual value according to rollo's chart. I replied "you guessed it perfectly" with a smile on my face. Another girl said "No he is older he has got a kid that is 16 I think.". The first one could not believe it and wanted to know my diet and what I do. With a collegue we joked that "each month I drink the fresh blood of a young virgin" and poke fun at it. Again I don't read too much into it. I just reminds me that I am on the right path with my MAP and reminds me red pill works.
Mac
2024-12-19 09:37:30 +0000 UTCYou can't even muster the enthusiasm to fuck your wife properly. Are you even worth helping? Your report, like your life is a fucking mess. 1. Get the 2yr old sorted. Find a sleep consultant and follow the routine, Clean up her diet. Check out Dr Siggie for behaviour management. 2. Read NMMNG and WISNIFG on repeat. Understand it, practice it, internalise it! 3. Passive Dread. Get in shape, become more playful and flirty, sort your wardrobe, create a social life, do some catch and release. Watch relationship breakdowns and mids watches on repeat. 4. Divorce or not. Only after you have sorted all this other shit out then you can even consider that maybe she is the problem. Otherwise, you're just kicking the can down the road. Codependent, validation seeking, autistic fucking retard. That was me. I turned my shit around, and I'm only halfway through Step 3. I can feel your frustration in your writing, these are from massive covert contract you need to sort out. Ice sculpture exhibit is the perfect example! Look at your framing, kid got sick, find something to blame it on, then absolve yourself of any wrongdoing. This is literally my woman's playbook your using! The only way out of that situation is to offer something better than and ice sculpture exhibit
will zill
2024-12-19 09:35:38 +0000 UTCDamnit that was for Leonard.
Joker43
2024-12-19 06:15:24 +0000 UTCNo More Mister Nice Guy, When I Say No I Feel Guilty. Read em if you haven't.
Joker43
2024-12-19 06:14:38 +0000 UTCVacation to Vegas last week. Wife and I go for the rodeo finals most years as our busy season is largely over. Wife likes to make the arrangements says she loves doing it though I should be the one to do it I believe but I let her (I got lazy about it). Course I have a good time so does she but I'm a little put off at times with her attitude towards my advances at times and general logistics. Did score a couple times but in past trips its been better. A couple evenings I line up where to eat and what to do and wife loves it. Second evening I line up going to a show, wife tries to interfere (she's a little drunk) I shut her down and she enjoys the evening I line up. Wife acts pretty affectionate all evening til we get back to hotel where I "read" that it's on and proceed accordingly when I'm shot down big time. I leave immediately to go play cards and ponder whether I had a covert contract here but I was trying to advance only with IOI's. Course I didn't bargain or argue, I just left, cards sounded more fun if she was gonna go cold. On the plus side, a day before I went for it and got shot down so I said ok lets shower together. She says no so I start showering. While showering I get out and "tell" her to shower with me "no sex". She says yea right but joins me anyway we have a nice shower together and I leave it at that. I actually enjoyed it. While we were on vacation our cows were still in the high country as the weather was nice yet (most years we bring them closer to home for the winter by now) but the wife is keenly checking weather reports and sees snow in the forecast which worries her (of course). I check because Its always on my mind too but shut down the worry talk since we're on vacation. Fastforward, we get home I run up to check cows (they're fine not much snow) I keep getting hounded and blow it off I plan on bringing them home a couple days later so I have time to line up help. My own worry gets the better of me compounded with wife's worry so I start hauling a few home with my pickup and stock trailer the next couple days. Get a lot of flack for not doing it before we left for vacation and I blow her off and keep working (I have her driving another pickup/trailer) and dont talk to her til the next day. Says she's cooled off next morning and I get better behavior. Still working on whether I'm harboring a covert contract or trying to work off IOI's sometimes as with the night I arranged the show evening on vacation. Also, work decisions seem muddled to me as we both own the cows but she wants to act too soon on some management decisions. I left them up high country to utilize pasture longer and not burn up our resources at home, its business. Wife does have valid points at times and I acknowledge when she does but I hold firm when I'm right like when we were on vacation. Eddie can probly relate.
Joker43
2024-12-19 06:02:03 +0000 UTCFirst field report. My apologies if it is more of a victim puke and has a Batman origin story. General situation: My wife is a little less than eight months pregnant with the second kid. I got the “I love you but am not in love with you” sometime back in Feb/March, which was also when I got the ninth or tenth divorce threat. I’d lost count. I should have called her bluff then, but instead opted to attempt to get the second of the two donated embryos implanted in her so that I could have that moral weight off my chest. I made a bad decision - multiple really, including marrying her - and now I am living with it. The first kid is nearly two years old. I do most of the childcare in the evening and night right now, which limits my options for catch and release. I have a dead bedroom. I got sex once when I initiated earlier this week, but it was a miserable experience for me. I think I only got it because I insisted and because I said it would be very quick, which tragically it was. All the other times, it has been her waking me up when she is horny, which is a once a month to two month experience. And it has only been when she had been pregnant. After the birth, I think it'll go back to zero. I also have too little stamina, but I think that's secondary importance compared to everything else. This week: my daughter is sick. I don’t know if it is because we went to a stupid ice sculpture exhibit but she got sick the next day. I was opposed to going to it and told my wife no - both because I thought it a waste of money and precious weekend time. However, she just went ahead and bought a ticket for herself, not for me. And then nagged me to accompany her to ensure that she was not the only person watching over our daughter, despite my sister, her husband, and my mother being there. And then nagged me to hurry up and get to the common area outside the ice exhibit because she couldn’t handle my daughter. Once she bought the ticket, I don’t know how I could’ve handled it differently unless I overcame my guilt about not being around to help a now eight month pregnant woman. I at least didn't buy a ticket. Relationship: Captain and her husband. She makes significantly more than me, and most major decisions are her way or the highway. Even minor ones are tough battles - I said for months that we needed a deep freezer for meat, and it took two years for her to finally say she was fine with me getting it. Should I have just gotten one and faced the consequences instead of defacto making her the final decision maker? Probably. Worst case, I would already be divorced if she’d exploded. I don’t know how different the situation would be if I made more than her. But we both make six figures. Either way I need to be more assertive. And I might as well use her as a sparring partner as situations come up until I pull the divorce trigger. So far I have not done this well, even when I’ve attempted to say No, like this weekend’s debacle. Divorce: It’s not cheaper to keep her. I’ve done the math for my situation. I’ve talked with two lawyers already. My ideal situation is to stick to the prenup because it is clear, as is the law for child support where I am. I’ve talked risks and the math with them given that I want to: 1) give her full physical custody without giving up legal custody; 2) stick to the prenup - which is advantageous to her since she has significantly more assets; and 3) go to mediation. I am stuck on the timing: do I file now, right after the baby is born, or three months after the baby is born? I've thought out what I think are the tradeoffs, but keep on delaying the decision. The max I want to wait is three months after because that is the earliest the au pair can start helping during the day. Physical: I’m 155 lbs, 5’6”, and around 20% bodyfat. I look thinner than this time last year based on the Christmas photos from last year vs. this year despite being the same weight. I am working with a trainer because I view this as part of getting my SMV up: - get a six-pack, which I’ve wanted for a long time; - bulk right now because my upper body and shoulders still don’t look like they have much muscle mass. Plus I can only lift 80lbs on a seated DB shoulder press. I'd like to get that higher. - cut after the bulking period and get down to 15% bodyfat or even lower I get to the gym 3-4x a week and other than recently plateauing at 100lbs on the bench, I have increased all my lift weights or volume each week. I was at 60lbs on the bench in June/July. So I think I am not wasting my gym time. Catch and Release: I also believe I need to do this to 1) know if I am unfuckable right now; and 2) because I know I need to practice social skills. Last week I got a conversation rolling at the cheese shop with a girl over the French blue cheese the shop was handing out samples for. But before the conversation got further than her talking about the other cheese she liked, my wife came over to me in a huff and handed my squirming daughter to me saying she couldn’t handle her. So I don’t really know how that went other than likely not well, and that I need to do a lot more attempts to improve.
Leonard
2024-12-19 04:31:21 +0000 UTC
