Patreon, R&P Q&A #296
Added 2024-12-04 22:45:05 +0000 UTCField reports below
Comments
good don't deer. She didn't even ask for an explanation, nobody wanted one. gay.
Op Sec
2024-12-05 19:14:09 +0000 UTCYes, I want to have people over.. to get to get together with family. Similar to a bday party…. I want to do that but on my terms. Ty
Cousin Eddie
2024-12-05 19:06:23 +0000 UTCWhy do you go to rodeo on Saturday? What is it about me going to rodeo on Saturday? That is wrong? I find it annoying. What is it about me bucking broncos on Saturday that is annoying? I feel like you should do it on your own time and not the weekends. Are you going to go to the rodeo now every Saturday? I am going to go to the rodeo this Saturday. You also went to the rodeo last Saturday. Yes I did. END The reason was because the rodeo activity is weather dependent, and the horses get all fucked up if it is too cold. I did not explain this as I thought this would constitute deer, but would I Be wrong at this juncture to provide an explanation of why I am shifting for logistical reasons , if I was remaining assertive? Lastly, have you ever heard of the concept of a male separating orgasm from ejaculation at will?
Volare Alto
2024-12-05 19:04:33 +0000 UTCyeah, one new activity a month is what I've heard. Works well, doesn't have to be a sport, you can take an improv class, a pottery class, etc. Just do something you think is cool and you want to try.
Op Sec
2024-12-05 19:04:30 +0000 UTCYup, so far I'm getting that too. I want more examples of how to tone down that gradually. It's easy to go cold turkey but that's "soft r" artistic as all hell. For example, Rian once mentioned that to be less available gradually, take up a sport for example.
Diego Verga
2024-12-05 18:48:40 +0000 UTCThe behaviors that are not good, are not good because they are unattractive, and not because of something, something, your girl. https://heartiste.org/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon/ Give your woman 2/3 of everything she gives you. What you are loosing is frame. Everything you wrote here is framed from the girls perspective. It's all about changing her. You can't change anyone but yourself. You've identified some unattractive behavior. Time to read, lift, reflect, act and write reports.
Op Sec
2024-12-05 18:44:50 +0000 UTCYou use red pill tools to deal with people well. What I'm not seeing is what you are getting out of any of this. There's not one blurb about what you want. Did you even want to see your family? Did you want to host? why?
Op Sec
2024-12-05 18:38:13 +0000 UTCHi Rian, I don't have much to report right now, everything has been going steady from what I can tell. I do have a question about calibration. First things first, I was having my first successes in dealing with my girl's behavior. Sometimes I'd make misses, but mostly recognizing when I'm fucking up as it's happening and having some where I can catch myself before I fuck up and course-correct, or correct in the middle of fucking up. My main thing right now is, I think I need to do a better job with calibrating my behavior to the current situation. This is what I mean concretely: I have been doing the following things that I think are not good: • Saying I love you more than my girl • Doting on her/giving too much comfort • Giving in to her/DEERing The reasons why I think I need to course-correct is because: • I've noticed that the times my girl says I love you have been reduced, just a bit but enough for me to notice. • She's been giving me more shit tests, but in particular disagreeing with an opinion of mine. Nothing to the point of a fight, just giving a bit more resistance to my ideas. • She's less available. Before she would be open and available to me on a dime. She still is fairly available, but I'm starting to see behaviors like being too tired to come over to my apartment on Friday night, and comes over on Saturday morning instead. Long story short, I think I'm losing attraction, and I'm having a hard time calibrating my behavior to it. I know the answer is pull my attention, affection and commitment, but I feel like how I want to do it is going too far. I don't want to just go neanderthal and not say I love you at all, stopping any comfort giving, etc. And that's what my gut is telling me to do. My head tells me that's too much. What confuses me about this girl and my experience with others is that she is usually very well behaved, whereas other girls would give me a lot of resistance and shit tests so I would have to be more, let's say "brutal" with my behavior to encourage the behavior that I want. No violence of course but just being an asshole. My current girl is very tender, just less available now, even if it's just a little bit, but it's enough for me to notice. Can you give me examples of how I can lower these behaviors in an appropriate way? Or can you point out where I'm fucking up that I haven't seen? I think these details matter too, maybe: both very stressed at work, more than usual, and she has her university on top of that. From what I can tell, sex is constant. Also, as of last month, we've been together for 15 months. I think we may be past the honeymoon phase. If that's the case, is this how it manifests? Things are more calm and stable, so how to maintain? My goal is to have as long and enjoyable of an LTR as possible. So far that's the case. Just if I'm dropping the ball now, I want to stop that NOW. I've tried to clean up the post, but I'm writing against the clock here. Next post it will be more conscise. Thank you for the time.
Diego Verga
2024-12-05 18:19:15 +0000 UTC70 Holliday bridzilla and stfu. Hollidays driving people crazy. On the phone with mom listening to her overthink Holliday plans. Mom: “when we visit are you going to make time for us. (Clear your calendar?)” —-Ooda: guilt trip (Context: we see my mom all the time And we work retail: slammed) Me: “only on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.” —-I am honest. Her: but the Hollidays.. —-ooda: more guilt trip Me: I hear you. If you want to come up You can take the kid the other days…. (Workable compromise). But we (wife and myself) will have no time. … She: moves on to tell me we need to do this and that and get a maid before we have people over on Christmas. (Bridzilla) Me: I hear you. Eventually she calms down. She is just processing: gatherings are the Super Bowl for women. Rp point: observe bridzilla, then boundaries, fog… let bridzilla take a breather/calm down. My brother (via his bridzilla gf) is throwing a wrench into things. Him: Ltr was upset about your hosting last Christmas. She takes the Hollidays seriously. You did not do this and that…” Me: lol Him: seriously, are you going to do this… and that… Me: no, Who is wearing the pants over there. Lol Him… Me: it is going to be the same Holliday production plus a new dog, that shits everywhere. (Take it or leave it). … When you throw Christmas you should do those things your ltr wants. ….. You all don’t have kids… you should be the cool uncle that goes on a trip during Christmas. Why torture yourself with these gatherings. Rp point: take it or leave it, Mm: people are children, tell them when lunch is and pat them on the head Health: got a test back. Been dumping 10x ish aluminum and other toxic metals. ( a painful process) The body won’t do that unless it is getting stronger. For context: that is the kind of dump where the practitioner is taking notes on what I did right to pass on to other clients. I have to remind myself to never talk about this with the wife. Even good news is bad news to the wife because it is a deer. Repeat to myself. Any discussion, especially graphs and charts, denotes weakness because it comes of as a deer. Stfu.
Cousin Eddie
2024-12-05 17:52:29 +0000 UTCJust a quick one today to update. Fitness – Back on track and trying to maintain my routine of three workouts per week, plus a run, hike and a bike. I’ve been away from home a lot so it’s been challenging to stay on track. I’m staying close to home until mid-February and then I’m in Asia for a couple weeks. Diet / Drinking – Had a three week stretch on no drinking and good eating. In the last week I had three social events, but I’ll be clean until the Holidays and then again in the New Year. My body always feels great after a few weeks without booze. My weight has bounced up to 216. I was 222 last Summer and went down to 210 a few months ago. I’m a few pounds heavy, but I can cut that in a month with some effort. Divorce – All my financial disclosures were sent off a month ago. My lawyer said it’s the biggest file he’s seen, which isn’t surprising since I’m an owner or part owner of about 7 companies. No word back from her side. It’s doubtful her lawyer will understand all the corporate and accounting shit, so they’ll have to hire a couple advisors to go through it. There is always a high level of retardation when it comes to accounting and business valuation, so that’s going to be fun. Binder Dundat. I was in my ex-wife’s town a couple weeks ago and one of her friends saw me with my new girlfriend. She reached out to my step-mom in an effort to dig for information. Girls – I met with some business partners for drinks last week and one of them (a close friend), invited a couple chicks to join us during the night. My friend invited them because he wanted to bang one of them. Her friend really took to me. All the normal signs and flirting were there, and if I wanted to fuck her, it’s likely I could have. Pickup now feels like easy mode for me. The problem with gaming chicks is they can stalk you on social media, which is now happening with this last one. I don’t need that shit. There isn’t much in it for me to game chicks when I go out because at the end of the day, I’m not going to bang them. Sometimes it can be fun, but at this point in my life, I’d rather just hang with my friends. I got a ride home from a work event with a chick who works for a competitor. She was one of the girls I had interest in a year ago, but she had a boyfriend at the time, so I never pursued it. She's single now and knows I have a girlfriend. It's the same feeling as above. If I was single, this would be an easy pursuit, but I also have the same apathy.... I wouldn't even want it. She's my age, but has a lot of baggage. Both chicks show me the change in my mental state over the last couple years. I've gone from a famine mentality to an abundance mentality. It wasn't so much that I didn't have the skills to game a couple years ago... I mostly did (when I went out to bars during my marriage, I could game chicks). I don't really know what changed with me because I haven't given it too much thought yet. Maybe having been in a LTR with my ex-wife created that famine mentality and now that I've been separated from 1.5 years, my mental state has changed. Or maybe it's having gamed a number of chicks since that time has given me a more abundance mentality. Either way, it's a positive change.
Dave
2024-12-05 17:50:41 +0000 UTCField Report #22 While in the shower my wife started to unload some emotions, and how she felt unsure about something. Mid sentence I hugged her, kissed her forehead and grabbed her ass. Told her I loved her. After we got out of the shower I initiated, her response “I have to get ready and can’t babe.” Me: you are missing ok haha Her: I know I got dressed and decided to gym bag routine her. Me: I am heading out I ran to get a part for the truck and took my time while being out. When I got back to the house my wife met me in the living room. Her: your parents are going to pick the kids up. Me: sweet Her: do you still want to have sex. Me: lead the way. Enthusiastically smashed. She has been on great behavior and we have had lots of sex and all the things I like. So I decided not to nuke the “comfort test” in the shower. Even though she was very sweet about not having enough time to smash I figured it was a great time to gym bag. Been a while since I used the routine and I figured I would give her the gift of missing me. Even if we hadn’t of smashed when I got back home I know the gym bag routine was the right choice.
Validation Junkie
2024-12-05 17:38:15 +0000 UTCI got a bj last night. I’ve been rather stressed, physically, as in my body is under stress, and it shows up in my bio tracking, but I don’t feel stressed emotionally. Didn’t get the normal rock hard immediate boner when I was about to have sex. So wife blew me. I allowed myself to express the enjoyment I felt. This has happened enough times that I’m seeing a pattern. Though unclear how to purposefully create it. I saw that Owen Cook was doing his free tour in my town so I went to go see him. Owen to me is similar to what Mystery is to Rian. The result, It’s given me a +1 Rizz(significant but not omg this changed my life). Everyone is reacting to me a little bit better, I give a little bit less fucks, and I’m not afraid to make a connection with people(look them in the eye, etc). The seminar was him going on a 4 hour rant like his youtube videos. Mostly about taking action, business, sales, marketing and a little bit on game. Most of the value was the vocal exercises with individual feedback at the end.
Op Sec
2024-12-05 17:20:05 +0000 UTChpv is social proof. woman berating you like that is about her. someone gave her hpv, or she had wanted to sleep with you before, or now. who gives a shit. All you needed to do was to say "we're done here" and leave as soon as you weren't getting value in that situation.
Op Sec
2024-12-05 17:04:41 +0000 UTCthat woman either is retarded or man-hating. one of the things you learn in medical school is that if you start having sex you'll most likely get hpv. doctors won't even offer the vaccine to women after they get in their 20s because the chances that they already got it is significant. hpv has little practical effect on men - don't worry about it from your standpoint. the medical worry is that it once it's transmitted to women they have a significant increase in developing cervical cancer. use a condom with new partners, but honestly the woman was being too fucking drastic.
lemon
2024-12-05 16:48:07 +0000 UTCThursday at 2:10 pm eastern he goes live. I log into patreon and click the YouTube link. The picture above this thread. Click it and it takes you to YouTube. Remember to delete your YouTube history unless you are not concerned with people finding your red pill. Read , write in past tense, ooda. We comment for learning purpose and they should be read in that way. As a commentor: Don’t think dear Abby q and a. Think “how would you open?” …
Cousin Eddie
2024-12-05 16:47:28 +0000 UTCFinance: this will take time. If you have been crashing boats and now you demand to be the captain… It will take time to build trust. You are young if I remember correctly. So it’s a good time to start learning simple accounting of funds… If one person in the relationship is not looking at the bottom line it is a disaster. You laid out some big goals. Break them down and start reporting more past tense. (If not all past tense). I personally would not worry about making big moves in the relationship until you have built frame (are the center of your world.). Could take .5-2 years. You might find everything is different then.
Cousin Eddie
2024-12-05 16:39:57 +0000 UTCGenerally speaking: everyone has hpv. Take care of your health and your body will deal with it. I would not contact anyone. This was not on the radar and nobody did anything throughout human history. Wrap it up… for many reasons. Find a new dr. A dr should neve de moralize somebody.. - disregarding extreme situations.. such as spreading aids. In that situation you could have used direct communications. “You are out of line and I am not comfortable talking with you. …”. P.s. : dr are completely retarded with chronic health issues. Dangerously incompetent. I could tell you stories…
Cousin Eddie
2024-12-05 16:27:16 +0000 UTCI did not lose weight over the Thanksgiving. This is not good, it puts me behind schedule. I am planning to lose 2 pounds a week, for the next eight weeks. That will put me at 199 pounds on one February. I am at 212 currently. Right now, no weight loss. Weight lifting still going well. I was able to get to the gym on my days off, and lift. At work, I still was able to get flights of stairs in, about 10-16 flights each call day. (24 hour shifts) So gym-successful. Weight loss—failure. Did not stick with fasting, and also not counting calories until middle of week. I am going to get after it again this week. Not change diet plan yet. (16:8 fast, count calories). Moderately successful interaction last week. I had a break between work shifts, on Friday (which was planned). Had decided to stay in hotel between shifts instead of coming home. It’s about 1.5 hour from the house. Wife was to come down, and we would go around town on the day off. Last week, she began wavering. Saying she didn’t know if she could come, I might be better resting by myself, I might be tired, etc. I did not spend time talking about it, and shut her down with a smile when she tried to discuss it. “Whatever works for you baby”. When I left for work on Thursday, I did not know if she was coming or not. I had already decided I was going to have a good time Friday whether she came or not. I did not ask her about it, ignored it. (I am not sure of communication / relationship technique, I guess outcome independence? Since I used something that worked, I want to identify what it was) On Friday, she showed up. We had a really good day and evening. I say moderately successful, no sex. This happened to hit the heaviest day of her menstrual cycle. A similar break in workdays is coming in a couple of weeks, and she let me know she has already booked a hotel room for us for the day off!
Beach Hillbilly
2024-12-05 16:22:40 +0000 UTCI have not seen the live chat, but thought there was one, is it on the you tube app?
Beach Hillbilly
2024-12-05 16:16:51 +0000 UTCGot diagnosed with hpv yesterday, it was the most humiliating experience of my life. Doctor was a woman, after diagnosis she then went on a rant about how men never think about consequences and put me on blast for being careless and selfish. then told me i have to contact all my partners and let them know right then in front of her. I wanted to say “or what?” but instead gave her an excuse and said that ill do it later. She also told me to abstain for at least two years. I said ok and got out of there I’m confused right now, couldn’t sleep last night, browsing the web about everything i can find about it. Apparently hpv goes away on its own after two years without any treatment. Nowhere it mentioned anything about abstinence. I’m not sure who gave it to me and I don’t think I’ll ever know even if i ask every one of them. Is there any point in letting them know? I can’t think straight right now. Please help if anyone has faced a similar situation?
Goten
2024-12-05 14:52:21 +0000 UTCYou post field reports here. Ryan goes over them. Other members post responses to each other because teaching helps us learn. Not necessary to watch live, but there is a live chat and some of us will be on there.
Op Sec
2024-12-05 13:48:55 +0000 UTC> I got lazy and didn’t work out last week. Why did you write this? Is it because you need to scale back your goals, implement a technique to help you go, or do you think this is confession time? > I feel lazy and don’t feel like opening. One way to get past this is to say just fucking say “Hi”, practice good vocal tonality. Get on with your day, I’m lazy, so I’m just going to say hi. You can do dread without your wife present, just by your absence. Boundaries aren’t about the other person respecting them. They are about you. What you will and won’t put up with. If you aren’t enforcing your boundaries then they aren’t boundaries, they are preferences. Talking about being respected, is a dumb bitch thing to do. It’s always a tell for a covert contract, and some ego driven arrogance. Yes my wife would try to shame me when I would enforce my boundaries. her: “So when I say something you don’t like, you just withdraw!”, me: “yeah, pretty much”. (fogging).
Op Sec
2024-12-05 13:47:14 +0000 UTCFR #4 MAP: My birthday is this month so I decided as next year's birthday present I'm going to give myself a year to accomplish some solid goals and then decide how satisfied I am with where I'm at in my life/relationship and decide what my next plan is for my life. Read: WISNIFG, MMSLP, TRM, NNMNG, Dread1-3, PFPFTPM, Book of Pook, Day Bang Stats: Age 26, 5'11", 159.6 lb., 13.5% Bf, Married for 3 years with two boys (4 and 1) 1RM: Bench 255 , Squat 275, DL 315, OHP 135 Bear mode: Goals: 1. Weigh 180lb. by the end of Winter 2. Weigh 205lb. by December 2025 I got lazy and didn't work out last week. 2 day full body split routine Average Daily Calorie Target - 3882 Kcal Daily Protein Target - 300g School/Work: Goals: 1. Graduate in the Spring with Business Degree 2. Use Degree to secure a government job by Fall I am still working 60-65 hours between both jobs. 3 classes, Week 6/8, All A's Finances: Goals: 1. Save $1000 for an emergency fund by the end of January 2. Pay off all CC debt ($8000) using the snowball method by December 2025 I had the talk with my wife about her depositing her money in my account and receiving half back as a stipend. I was expectedly met with backlash and complaining. Can't say I blame her because of my history of bad money management, which was thrown in my face as well, but all that's in the past anyway, so I just STFU and let her vent. I made sure only I have access to my personal account and will continue with my plan while also shutting down any requests for money and ignoring inquiries of how I'm handling finances until I get compliance. I also acknowledge that this requires me to handle my shit in this area to have a chance at being effective. Social/Game: Goals: 1. Get comfortable opening everyone 2. Practice opening then teasing women 3. Cultivate as many options as I can by December 2025 I'm making good progress with goal #1, but I notice I'm lazy and "dont feel" like opening, or I find some other dumb excuse not to. Relationships: Goals: 1. Destroy all Covert Contracts 2. Figure out what my boundaries are, then enforce them 3. Stop being afraid of my wife's emotions 4. Increase Dread I realized I should probably make time to go out with wife at least once a weekend, because it's hard to dread if I don't put myself in situations where I can be seen interacting with other people. Also I work too much to not have fun of the weekends. I've started giving my honest opinion when my wife asks for it. In the past, I always thought it was above me to answer stupid questions like "which should I cook" or "how should I do this dumb thing." But there's no reason to punish someone for deferring to my leadership, and if anything, it sets a good standard for the relationship. I'm getting better at identifying and vocalizing my boundaries and following through with removing the carrot so to speak when they are violated. When this happens, usually I get hit with shaming tactics to make me feel bad, but I just hold firm and leave the situation if I feel too disrespected. I also noticed I feel little to no resentment when I explicitly state my boundaries even if they are not respected in that moment. And if I do feel any resentment, then that tells me I have a covert contract I need to get rid of. I'm very good at setting clear boundaries with my kids, which is why they respect me more than her, so I decided to adopt the same mindset when dealing with my wife. Ironically enough, she struggles to set boundaries with them, and when this happens, I see how I've been acting for the past few years. Looking at it like that, it's no wonder things got the like the way they are.
Aqua
2024-12-05 02:50:40 +0000 UTCQuestion for other members of group: I am making sure I understand the format for the group. I know that on Saturday morning, the format is live, and we can comment. But with this format, we send field reports, and Ryan reviews them. We then watch the Patreon to get feedback. (Not necessary to watch live) Also, other members can post response to each other, for additional coaching. Correct? Anything I am missing?
Beach Hillbilly
2024-12-05 01:30:30 +0000 UTC
