Patreon, R&P Q&A #295
Added 2024-11-27 20:22:40 +0000 UTC
Comments
If you are trigger shy on opening you have not engrained being a social animal into your normal behavior. You still are targeting specific girls to open. Open (start conversations) everyone for a month…
Cousin Eddie
2024-11-29 21:10:34 +0000 UTC“ I know babe all the cool people go to Australia only us poor fuckers go to France for a month on holidays each year, God really hates us, fucking France I think I might just kill myself know” This comes off a bit self deprecating. A bit negative. Try-“…all the cool people go to Australia.” Then practice an Australian accent … This is a shit test.. misinterpreting or agree and amplify. Keep it short.. move on. Same being a victim and calling you poor… “You def should have married a rich guy. That’s on you. Lol … on my way home I will stop by the homeless food exchange…
Cousin Eddie
2024-11-29 20:43:52 +0000 UTCTreat it like a shit test.. have fun. … she has a keen taste for appetizers. Let’s go with hers. She is passionate about appetizers… Not sure the table is ready for my appetizer.. let’s go with hers. Nice save honey. We almost had to try the poopoo plater. If you really wanted your appetizer then …. “We will also get the poopoo plater”
Cousin Eddie
2024-11-29 20:30:20 +0000 UTCBought $100 of bitcoin so sorted 🤞🤞
Back2Basics
2024-11-28 18:24:46 +0000 UTCI know I haven't brought it up yet I'm going to.
Aqua
2024-11-28 17:26:45 +0000 UTCStill working out regularly, lifting 5 times a week. 3 at Gym, and the other 3 lighter, in garage. Diet okay, lost 2lb last week. I need to remain consistent though, and not gain it back next week. Paying attention to what I eat during my eating period. (16:8 fasting still). It turned out, i can totally eat 5,000 calories in 8 hours! Went to a Thanksgiving pre-dinner at a restaurant last night. Went with my wife, her dad, and her adult son. (Our usual family unit for these things, my kids live out of town) I was pretty Happy, glad to have the family with me. (I am working today). When the waitress walked up, I ordered an appetizer for all of us. My wife did not want to get it, and over-rode me. I was irritated, she had a good reason, I did not push it hard. She knew that she got on my nerves. She was quiet for a few minutes, and then gave explanation as to why important to her not to get it. But, nothing else really happened. I STFU and did not address it back. Then went on like nothing happened. I know I didn’t handle it well. Not sure of how I could’ve been a different plan other than being very pushy about it. (This is a very minor issue, but indicative of a problem I have with her)
Beach Hillbilly
2024-11-28 17:25:38 +0000 UTCDo you have plans for your financial future If you divorce? Are you doing anything about that?
Joker43
2024-11-28 17:04:27 +0000 UTCThat was for Aqua
Joker43
2024-11-28 17:01:26 +0000 UTCHow is your wife gonna deposit her check in your account if you haven't led/instructed her to do so? She has no idea and you're just wishing.
Joker43
2024-11-28 17:00:44 +0000 UTCBeen focusing on being attractive and not unactractive this last week or 2. When I get home at night I walk in with a smile and start teasing the kids and the wife right off the bat. I look at it as setting the mood and innoculating against a poor attitude should it flare up. Wife tried to sport a bad attitude on a couple occasions but I tamped it down with indiference toward what was bugging her and teasing for good measure. Has been working pretty good so far. Wife's overall demeanor is better. I'm not getting turned down or chewed out in the mornings for initiating. 3 times this week! hasn't happened in months. It's not enthusiastic every time but its an improvement. Had to sell some cows the other day that weren't bred and I had them with some old bred cows I want to sell at a later time. I caught flack about not selling the old bred cows at the same time. I've made the plan known before hand what I plan to do so I can capitalize on higher prices, hopefully. I explained it like this again and of course more flack so I stopped what I identified as DEERing and said don't worry about it I will handle it it's my responsibility anyway and left to go about my day. I get this shit when I'm about to make a management move about 1/2 the time. I'd like to get it down to 1/4. I think my management is fine but not stellar. I want to get to stellar but have some work to do. I have identified some common mistakes on my end and have fixed a couple. One being planning WELL in advance of when I think the planning should be made for things such as veterinary appts, transport, moves etc. I put it on the calendar for all to see so its common knowledge. Gonna try commenting on FRs a little more see if it helps me retain some knowledge better, someone let me know if I'm off base on something.
Joker43
2024-11-28 16:41:35 +0000 UTCHe might not be ready to file but he “should” be finding out what it would entail. As part of a MAP.
Op Sec
2024-11-28 14:34:26 +0000 UTCThe narrative fallacy
Op Sec
2024-11-28 14:31:54 +0000 UTCYou don’t demand respect, you command it, idiot.
Op Sec
2024-11-28 14:30:11 +0000 UTCThis week was mainly her telling me how everyone else has an easy life and she has it so hard. I would normally starting DEERing or trying to fix things so she was happy but I just stuck with Agree and Amplify and fogging, which caused her to get really shitty and then i would tell her that I have better things to do than listen to her being disrespectful and I went about my shit.
Back2Basics
2024-11-28 13:53:00 +0000 UTCTrue
So Woke da Wookie
2024-11-28 13:28:56 +0000 UTCT'is indeed
So Woke da Wookie
2024-11-28 13:27:37 +0000 UTCHe’s not ready for an attorney because he hasn’t gotten over basic shit yet.
CovertContractAttorney
2024-11-28 13:18:07 +0000 UTC“ Haven't told my wife yet, waiting for it to come up organically. My plan is to get her to deposit her 360 a week in my personally owned bank account and I'll give her half as an allowance and give out money for necessities how I see fit while I take care of the bills/debt/savings.” — this is you walking around eggshells around your wife. You want it to come up organically because you want to avoid conflict. Reread NMMNG and WISNIFG. If you won’t tell her your decision you are just making plans without action.
CovertContractAttorney
2024-11-28 13:17:34 +0000 UTCSo what did you specifically do this week? Any examples for your general descriptions or are you hand waving things?
CovertContractAttorney
2024-11-28 13:11:38 +0000 UTCSo it’s that navel gazing time of year.
CovertContractAttorney
2024-11-28 13:10:04 +0000 UTCHow's it goin', All good here. One thing that I have noticed lately and you've referred to this multiple times, are 2 dynamics that can occur at a certain stage in a man's journey: 1). The tendency to start fires just to put them out: I am not doing this anymore, but I watch the tendency float past me. It seems automatic to want to do it. 2). As things start lining up positively and you think, "It must be the LORD", helping me here. This has become really strong for me. I am seeing patterns in timing, purpose and narrative everywhere. You've spoken about this as phenomena for some men when their life reaches a certain improved condition. In most instances, I am careful to avoid creating a narrative in my life - because that's is the first step to creating an "identity" on a false premise. Our identities arise form our competencies and so on down that value chain. Perhaps when you avoid creating a personal narrative then you automatically try to insert yourself into a larger narrative: religion, politics, cultural and then you re-start your "identity building" from there. Anyways, I'd like to hear you thoughts on this and specific ways you've managed to avoid it.
So Woke da Wookie
2024-11-28 10:45:36 +0000 UTCTalk to an attorney
So Woke da Wookie
2024-11-28 10:45:06 +0000 UTCWith the fuck buddy thing you just need to assess can you maintain "the stay plan is the go plan" if it blows up.
So Woke da Wookie
2024-11-28 10:43:22 +0000 UTCShort report this week. Just treating her like an annoying roommate with a warm hole because to be honest that’s all she is to me. Not getting sucked into DEERING and use fogging etc when she starts to act up. I keep hearing about how hard she has it and other women are married to rich guys and don’t have to work. She is looking for a negative reaction from me but I just laugh it off and tell her “she should go find a rich guy and that me and kids will be okay” and then I walk off before she has time to comeback with some other shitty comment. Her brother took his family to Australia on holidays and once again she started saying how lucky they are and just starting playing the victim and I just Agree and amplify with “ I know babe all the cool people go to Australia only us poor fuckers go to France for a month on holidays each year, God really hates us, fucking France I think I might just kill myself know” Getting out of the house way more and doing shit I like. I have organised a few meet up with guys I know which is great fun. Find it hard to act positive and aloof all the time but fake it till you make it. I love my house and kids and financial I am tied in at the moment and maybe a few years down the road I might have an option to move out. I really am considering just getting a fuck buddy on the side but this is dangerous waters and obviously if i get caught I’m fucked. If this marriages ends which it probably will I would never get involved with a woman emotional again. It’s not for me and the juice ain’t work the squeeze.
Back2Basics
2024-11-28 08:06:37 +0000 UTCWhen dealing with approach anxiety. Flip the script, how badly can I get blown out, how awkward can I make this. Don’t hide from your anxiety but wear it. Realize that rejections are what you want because they are what helps you. This killed aa for me. Evidently even one puff of that vape is too much for you. You have to stop giving fucks even about your own emotions and express your will. Generally a bad idea to only show affection when you want sex. Should separate sex from intimacy, but I get it fat wife. Other chicks flirting with you in front of wife good, you flirting with other chicks in front of wife, bad. You seem very checked out, have you talked to an attorney?
Op Sec
2024-11-28 03:07:37 +0000 UTCFR #3 School/Work: Still working 60-65 hours between both jobs. 3 classes, Week 5/8, All A's, second to last semester. Business Degree B.S. Finances: Balanced my budget, which was long overdue. Researched and bought a portable washing machine that hooks up to the sink faucet because we have no washer or dryer hookups. This is way better than going to the communal laundry room with filthy coin-op machines in my complex. I'm going to buy a drying rack to hang the wet clothes next to a dehumidifier. Made the mistake of telling my wife this plan (she wants a dryer) and got shit for it. Told her it's not practical for our smaller sized apartment, and I don't want to deal with it. Broken record after that. My goal is to reconcile my budget every other day in order to stay on budget. I decided on my plan to take control of the treasury (total control). Haven't told my wife yet, waiting for it to come up organically. My plan is to get her to deposit her 360 a week in my personally owned bank account and I'll give her half as an allowance and give out money for necessities how I see fit while I take care of the bills/debt/savings. I know I'm going to get a ton of push back for it so I'm just going to continue with the plan by myself and broken record if she brings up finances and deny any requests for money until I get compliance. Social/Game: Pussied out on an approach opportunity with a hot chick. Sucks too because she was playing with her hair when she saw me, which was an obvious choosing signal. She was dressed up pretty nice, so I was going to tease her about coming from a fashion show or something. The problem was that I kept trying to think of a perfect way to say it, which was dumb because I know perfect is boring. I did this because I often pedestalize looks. Went to a venue for a music performance night for upcoming artists with wife and three of her female friends, one of whom was who was performing. I had fun, even got called up on stage for some "continue the lyrics" style karaoke. Her friend rented a limo to drive us about 2 hours away. Due to the alcohol I had and the copius amounts of estrogen in the vehicle it didn't take long for my juices to get going, so it was heavy kino on the wife for most of the night. I gamed and flirted with her and her friends all night, to which wife expressed displeasure. I had plausible deniability, so I just AM'd when she pointed it out. Got home later that night and got in bed with my wife for a little bit. Got thirsty and went out to the kitchen in nothing but my underwear when I saw two of her friends still there sitting on the couch, not knowing they were still waiting for their ride home. Continued to the kitchen while looking at them with a surprised look on my face and rhetorically asking, "You guys are still here?". As I turned my head, I could hear one of them say, "I don't mind." I chuckled in my head and went on about my business. My wife made a comment about me going out there half naked when I got back in bed, to which I just brushed off. I noticed I get resentful when I get praise from her, especially about my physique. I think it stems from the fact that it's coming from somebody so unattractive (fat). I usually just say "thanks" and ignore it. For the same reason, I get repulsed when she tries to give me physical affection, which she points out sometimes, and I ignore that as well. This is just a natural reaction. I'm not doing it consciously. The only time I really give affection is consciously as an award to good behavior or right before we have sex which only happens when I feel like it, which is once, maybe twice a week. Took a whole day last week to do some fall cleaning and reorganizing around the house. Picked up vaping again, which was dumb. I go through this pattern of quitting, which sucks for 3 days, then I'll see my wife's vape laying around or something and convince myself one puff wouldn't hurt and the cycle repeats. It makes me lazy, unmotivated, and less social, which is the antithesis to my goals.
Aqua
2024-11-28 01:39:13 +0000 UTC
