Patreon, R&P Q&A #294
Added 2024-11-20 22:32:21 +0000 UTC
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With this program, do a test every 6 -8 weeks to measure progress. Next test is at Christmas, I will let you guys know about any progress. ✅
Beach Hillbilly
2024-11-24 14:56:15 +0000 UTCNailed the DEER. We were going to see my parents this past week, there was some pushback. I announced i was going, and she could come if she wanted to. She said, “of course I will go! How could you say that? “ I restated i am going, all good. Then weather /snow blew in, not sure about travel, moved the trip. It was right decision, but pissed me off, after me fighting it out. Now, has been “we made a good decision to put it off”, which just pisses me off royally
Beach Hillbilly
2024-11-24 14:53:58 +0000 UTCI am usually witty. When I am at work and shit like that comes up, my go to is to nuke it. Yah that’s a good idea, not sure how often I let her “catch” me.
Validation Junkie
2024-11-22 00:36:03 +0000 UTCAny experience or stories you can share on post nups years into a marriage?
Volare Alto
2024-11-21 19:10:18 +0000 UTCThis is all over the place, what is the point of this report?
Op Sec
2024-11-21 19:09:47 +0000 UTCBest recommendation for some tactical style advice. I know you have referenced guzzy. Listened to his book. Looking for some additional tactical resources if you have any.
Volare Alto
2024-11-21 19:06:44 +0000 UTCHey Rian Hope your day has been good First report I'm single, 25 and live with my dad in the western part of the United States. I’m 190 lbs 5’ 11” in american, 180 in canadian Bench pr 235, Squat pr 315x2 and Dead pr 405. Gym 3-5 a week. Books WISNIFG, NMMNG, Currently re reading NMMNG and re watching your sidebar series as I go. Trying to get one idea down before I move to the next thing. I’ve been a subscriber of yours for like four years. Tried learning the tools on my own while in a relationship. Learned a lot and made some progress. But not as much as I would have liked, obviously. Game I got out of a four year LTR a little over two months ago. Single now, going out and on dates and just getting over the hump of doing approaches. I’ve gone out every weekend the last three months except for one. I have one plate I see regularly that started to turn into a situationship. She asked if we were dating and I realized that I was following the same patterns as my ex and after reading about emotional enmeshment in NMMNG I said no. And she suggested we take a break for a week and revisit the whole thing. I agreed. This Sunday she said she thinks we should take things slow and focus on enjoying each other. Which I took as lets just have fun and have sex for now. We went out Tuesday night and that's what we did. Mini golf, bowling, car sex. After a lot of unforced errors with my ex and this new girl I realized I use the promise of commitment as a carrot to get sex for myself. So I’m starting to be more honest with my intentions. I just want fun and sex basically. But I’ve only used that boundary one time. It feels easier now that I know I can get dates and meet more girls. Two weekends ago I found out the bar I went to does swing dancing lessons on Wednesdays. Got my dance partner's number and we went out that Friday. Things were going well up until the second location at a bar, and I think I got tired and nervous. I stopped being as flirty and physical as I would have wanted and I didn’t do as good of a job as bringing up sex and getting it on her mind. I also was autistically focused on the arcade games we were playing which is something I know I do when I’m tired. (Focus on what's in front of me instead of trying to escalate). We went and got pizza after and talked for a couple hours. I genuinely enjoyed the conversation. Now I know to have a better plan and to focus on escalating rather than whatever dumb thing we were doing. If I could go back I would have tried to drive us somewhere alone to escalate. A lookout, or a park or something like that. She was 30 minutes North and I was 30 minutes South and also lives with her parents. We have something scheduled this Monday: a cheap jazz concert and a walk around town. Health I have a bad knee, 3 acl tears and 4 surgeries. Most of my gym time revolves around doing physical therapy type exercises just to stave off the damage of being lopsided. My knee doesn't have full ROM and I walk with a limp. I dont notice anymore because it's been years. Not doing 5 x 5 is a choice I have made because it doesn't have enough focus on training the muscles that I feel I need to work. I thought I would have some time to finish this after work but I’m at work posting this on my phone. But I’d rather submit a bad first report then keep putting off another week.
Ham
2024-11-21 19:05:10 +0000 UTCTy
Cousin Eddie
2024-11-21 18:47:48 +0000 UTCAre you funny and witty other times? Is it a skill you need to work on? If so do that. Otherwise nuke that shit, "not right now". You set a boundary. If she feels like she is chasing you, may be a good idea to occasionally let her catch you, when she does something you like.
Op Sec
2024-11-21 17:24:30 +0000 UTCMaking more money and using that as some type of relationship security blanket only makes you king of the betas. I have money, and I've been insecure about my wife only liking me for my money. Accept your insecurities. Maybe you are less jacked, have less money, treat her worse and have less game. Assume she's going to leave you at some point in time. Enjoy her while she lasts. However, you have a mistaken mental model of chicks. They do have some nice qualities. They generally aren't sitting around comparing you. You assume they are because thats what guys do. Chicks have all sorts of taste, and who knows perhaps she likes weird guys like you. From Pook. it's not about finding a girl you like, it's about finding the girl that likes you. It sounds like you have some one-itis for this chick, but would you want to be with someone for a long time that you had to constantly put up a front for?
Op Sec
2024-11-21 17:17:04 +0000 UTCIn general it is a good report, but I get the sense that you need to focus on being your own mental point of origin. The actions you took reinforce that, but some of the language you used in writing the report is sub optimal. "She is to buisy. " "She has a revelation, wakes me up, crying. Realizes it’s my bday" "7 stages of nagahide" "My refusal to absolve her sins makes her more frantic. " "Wifes anxiety manifested in her having stomach problems so she stayed home. " "Wife is doing an estate sale to sell her stuff. (She is one step from being a horder). I am expected to be apart of this. " The words you use in your self talk are important. Focus on facts as they relate to you and not feelings you think are in her head. "I decide what I will contribute." Contribute to what? What do you think a contribution is? What are your goals?
Op Sec
2024-11-21 17:05:26 +0000 UTC“When the shirt fits wear it.” Mor subtle but direct “I give you tennis lessons, what will you give me?” Try working on subtext. A simple eyeing down. I pucker my lips and raise my eyebrow and blatantly eye her from head to toe like I am shopping for meat. - it gets the point across without directly telling her to f me. Exercise from tod v dating: (Fill in the blank) is like sex because…. That mail box is like sex because a load is dumped in it every day. Do this for fun (on your own). This will help you sexualize mundane things. Creatively telling your wife it is sex time. In conversation it would play out like this. Boredom. You point to a mail truck and say: I could be a mail man, open the box, deliver my load. … over and over and over. Smile.
Cousin Eddie
2024-11-21 16:25:51 +0000 UTCY r u negotiating sex exactly
Alex
2024-11-21 16:20:33 +0000 UTCthe point of Madonna whore is by treating a girl not your wife like a whore for dressing up you communicate whore bad. The opposite is true as well. Neither are direct.
Alex
2024-11-21 16:17:21 +0000 UTCAll good until the last sentence. “Nothing to report…” It is a deer.
Cousin Eddie
2024-11-21 16:16:07 +0000 UTCYou are putting allot of energy and time into your ex. Major rule 7 violation. Why not move on?
Cousin Eddie
2024-11-21 16:14:45 +0000 UTCYou didn’t try to initiate because you were afraid of rejection.
CovertContractAttorney
2024-11-21 16:10:48 +0000 UTCTalking about things without talking about them is a great way to establish what you will put up with… “Welp Posting because I ought to….” Writing this means something. It is a deer:
Cousin Eddie
2024-11-21 16:10:44 +0000 UTCWhat does “really well” mean regarding your lifting program? If there aren’t some observable change it’s just a container word.
CovertContractAttorney
2024-11-21 16:08:12 +0000 UTCTrump: my wife (Instagram brain hive mind). . Challenged me. … I aa: . “Today should be a national Holliday for men. We are patriots… saved this country from dumb ass women voters. … we should all get free power tools…. Sent her a photo of my new leaf blower”.
Cousin Eddie
2024-11-21 16:06:41 +0000 UTCGood week. Smashed twice and got a Blowjob. I have realised that I have to negotiate sex directly with her and be upfront about what I want instead of being covert and hoping she will initiate which is approval seeking and waiting for her to lead. She wanted a tennis lesson off me this week so I just blurted out “ I’ll Feed you some tennis balls on the court but I need you to drain my balls first” and it worked. I got laid she got a lesson. I am bouncing between type 2 and 3 captain and I would think I am in the 2nd phase of the scoreboard. I have a bad habit of getting passive aggressive when she acts shitty and I just shut down and act like she is dead but do this out of anger to teach her a lesson which is a covert contract. But this week anytime she was shitty , I just addressed it straight away with broken record. She was harping on about how stressed she was and shouting at the kids and I told her “ it’s unacceptable to shout at the kids because you can’t manage your stress, we aren’t those parents “ She flipped out but then calmed down. I am spotting the shit tests and would always STFU but that just builds resentment so I have begun to annoy her when she acts up and question her using negative enquiry and get her to explain herself she usually get frustrated and then backs down. She has been more affectionate this week which is strange as I am being more assertive and not walking on eggshells. Caught myself DEERING. I was leaving the house in a nice shirt last week to head to work, she asked why I was so dressed up and I down played it and said I had nothing else to wear and what I should have said was “ if you think this shirt is nice you should see the thong I’m wearing” cocky funny but instead I calmed her hamster but it’s good to see that she still gives a fuck about how I dress when leaving the house. So going forward I will keep being direct and straight to the point which I find uncomfortable but it’s easier than being covert and passive.
Back2Basics
2024-11-21 16:05:37 +0000 UTCI would lean into the bar … catch and release… and being attractive. I bet you will oddly see results at home.
Cousin Eddie
2024-11-21 16:00:55 +0000 UTCPick a lane and develop it. All other lanes are interesting and entertaining. The richy rich lane (leading with the wallet) is the weakest lane. Filled with guys getting cheated on. Think of the movies titanic box office. Do not Swiss watch. Bring her into your frame. Me: “the old helicopter first date trick! 😂”
Cousin Eddie
2024-11-21 15:54:15 +0000 UTCI am doing a lifting program called easy strength. I have been consistently 2 months. It does seem to work really well for older guys. (Put together by Dan John, and Pavel Tsatsouline) I can do it in my garage. But, have moved to doing at a local gym 3 times a week. (The others doing here) I have started 16:8 fasting, for the past 6 weeks. Working on a high protein diet. Also, re-reading No More Mr Nice Guy, and watching Ryan’s videos of NMMG, to work on my covert contracts, etc. taking time, doing the breaking free exercises. No successful or particularly bad interactions to field report this week.
Beach Hillbilly
2024-11-21 15:13:05 +0000 UTCBeen reading Wisdom of Psychopaths – about 20% in. There was a section describing the differences between the nature of the Cobra vs the Pitbull. I developed more features of the Pitbull after my last relationship – being more obsessive and controlling – but better see how these characteristics are unattractive qualities. Ex invited me to the movies. I went and afterwards we went to a couple bars. Started off fine with us having fun banter, but it devolved into her talking about a guy she was into. I told her I didn’t give a shit and shut the conversation down. At the first bar, there were a few IOIs – her reapplying lipstick, touching my arm, paying for drinks, talking about sex. At the second bar, she started doing either shit tests or was showing she wasn’t interested in me. She started texting the other guy in front of me, ignoring me as well as telling me to get our drinks. Said sure. I would have been more reactive and bothered about her behavior in the past. Where I’m now is that I don’t want a committed relationship with her, but am willing to check in once in awhile for a potential hookup. At this point, I figured I could use the rest of the night just to work on being a charming asshole during conversations. Go up to the bar to get the drinks, but also to chat up one of the girls there. Didn’t even feel like I was trying, but the conversation went well. The girl was just feeding me information about herself and how she was a PhD student in criminology and was sympathetic to psychopaths. I kept calling her out that it wasn’t that she was sympathetic to Ted Bundy, it was that she was horny for him. After about maybe 7 min of conversation, the girl gave me her number. I brought the drinks back and my ex (who I’m pretty sure saw the interaction) was now more focused on me. I wouldn’t say that her tone was sweeter, just that she was more focused on me. The rest of that time was actually a fun interaction because I was more focused on how much of an asshole I could be instead of trying to charm her. I kept shutting her down and telling her she wrong about everything in a lighthearted tone. Did have a moment where I was too reactive. She started again trying to talk about the other guy on the ride back to the apartments, and even after multiple times when I said I’m not interested in hearing about it, she kept going. I got in her face and growled that she was pushing a line and she needed to watch it. I lost control there. Her facial expression changed because she knew I was being serious. She instead went to texting the other guy then put in her ear pods and started listening to music and was looking happy. On the walk back to her place, I played around with her including taking her hat and throwing it into the garbage can – which she didn’t like. Then when we got back to her apartment, I went inside first and held the door closed to lock her out. I alternated between turning the lock and holding my foot against it. She alternated between unlocking the door and slamming her hand on the door cursing me trying to come in. After a bit, I went to piss in her bathroom and she followed me in yelling at me, but I just laughed and asked if the reason why she followed me into the bathroom was because she couldn’t wait to see my dick. She left to go to the kitchen to heat up some tea. I took her tea, threw it in the sink, and then patted her back good-bye. She said good-bye in a sweet tone kind of like this is just how this guy is. The next day, my ex waited outside my apartment to try to meet me and because of it showed up to her work late. I didn’t try to initiate sex that night honestly because of whiskey dick. I figured it was better to leave off on a high note than give it try and not being able to get it up – at least in this situation versus a new girl. Key Thoughts - Better internalizing how being a charming asshole that cares less is like an attractive superpower - I might be putting too much time into my ex, but for now I’m using her as a tool to work on improving my attractive traits. I’m at a better point now where I understand what I can and can’t expect from her. - Did have some reactive moments to a potential shit test. I should have just put in my airpods and ignored her when she was crossing my boundary. - I feel like my progress in this space has been slow, but I do feel like I’m internalizing things more as time goes on.
lemon
2024-11-21 14:56:30 +0000 UTCSometimes all we need are small changes. Enjoy the success and don’t implode it with self sabotaging behaviors. I try not to ask why much, if a chick is into you and feeling sexy around you, you should already know this. Use cocky funny-yah I have that effect on people, or I tend to bring the best out in others.
Validation Junkie
2024-11-21 14:49:06 +0000 UTCWhelp. OOda Health wise: i got fatter and am struggling to balance sport with working out. I have gotten the results of the mri back which shows no signs of hernias or compression of my nerves. So that rounds outta 1 year fight with the doctor and means I am safe to get in the gym while being unlikely to need a disk replacement Currently restarting gym and working on getting appointment with specialised physio. Also going sport climbing again which frankly I've missed a lot. Not sure how to mix them but I think instead of over thinking it I'm just going to focus on getting in the gym and working out instead of over thinking it. If nothing is damaged it means it's a lot safer to just ignore the pain Sex is far better, I am getting it more often and while it's not been 3 ways for a while those are nice to have and I have been focusing on actually building a social life which has made it that much easier. Have a potential date lined up with a person but December is a busy month so who knows, they are fun but I give much less of a shit than what I thought I would Next steps are focusing on seeing the various people on the regular. I find this difficult but I suspect it's just a case of building o habit, busy setting things up with the groups today Work: Things here have been my biggest focus. Based on speaking to my manager stuff is going better still and he is happy for me to angle to move into a tl position which would mean even more pay if that works out well. Next steps are doing more documentation and training as well as specing out features we are currently working on. I've been doing it but doing some uml /flow/waterfall diagrams will help I was reading through the rest of what's written and wanted to check through the relationship with wife but honestly. We seem to be having for less stupid arguments. Usually when they start either I'm going "look I don't think what I'm saying is getting through how I intend it, let's just leave it it's not that important" or "look, all I want is just an 'ok I'll be careful' how yo udo that is up to you I just want to be sure you heard what I said". One thing I did find interesting was that it's a lot easier to discuss things indirectly rather than directly. We had some surprisingly frank discussions while watching breaking bad, stuff that I think she'd have gotten quite upset with otherwise was much easier to talk about, indirectly. I guess the stuff that causes Madonna whore goes both ways
Alex
2024-11-21 14:22:19 +0000 UTCReread and reapply WISNIFG
CovertContractAttorney
2024-11-21 13:28:57 +0000 UTCShe was flirting with you. Girls value a guy who has multiple options. Guys don’t. She doesn’t understand that. So she flirts by doing the thing that makes her attracted to someone. Handle it similarly to how when a girl says you’re not having sex that night, she’s really saying th opposite.
CovertContractAttorney
2024-11-21 13:22:33 +0000 UTCA few Simple questions: Do you hate your wife? What would happen if you were honest with her? Are you still trying to manage her emotions like a nice guy?
CovertContractAttorney
2024-11-21 13:20:01 +0000 UTCChapter 294.1 Last week, one of the guys mentioned Trump, which reminded me of a funny moment. My wife made some comment about “your boy Trump winning,” followed by some garbage she’d picked up from random mainstream media. I can’t recall the specifics, but I responded with, “That’s the most retarded argument I’ve ever heard.” Pretty sure I upset her, but honestly, I was busy with more important things. And, as I said, we don’t even live in that country, so it’s irrelevant. My dad also brought up Trump. Being a staunch socialist who’s anti-capitalist and thinks the government should pay for everything, I hit him with some AA: “Well, at least we know Trump will grab it by the pussy.” Got a solid laugh out of him with that one. On the personal front, I’m still navigating the usual waves of ups and downs. Between the kids waking at random hours and cock-blocking us, staying focused has been tough. I’ve also noticed I get irritable if I go more than a few days without getting laid—definitely proving the whole “cranky if I’m not phreshly phucked” theory. The challenge is finding that balance—pulling back when needed without overdoing it and coming off as autistic. I’m working on it, and at least now I recognize when it’s happening. Decision-Making 101 Had my parents over recently, and the old man and I were busy with some renos. Out of nowhere, my wife hints about getting takeout because she didn’t have time to cook. I’m like, “Sweet, let’s do it.” She asks what I want and hints at Chinese, so I suggest the same place we ordered from last time. But she starts struggling—couldn’t find the shop or it wasn’t open. I stepped in: “Do you need me to make a decision?” Fifteen minutes later, I’d ordered from Uber Eats, picked a different shop, and sorted delivery. She comes up to me afterward asking, “Did you get prawn crackers for the kids?” Of course, babe. Not much of an update, but someone asked how things were going, so here we are. Oh, and seriously—f*** Patreon. Their UI sucks. You used to be able to filter by month, but now it’s only by year, which makes digging through the back catalog an absolute chore. If anyone has the full playlist already sorted, hit me up.
Fez
2024-11-21 12:30:30 +0000 UTCI've been working on dropping covert contracts, not being affected by my wifes emotions, rewarding good behavior, not rewarding bad behavior. I've looked for opportunities to use mental models like fogging, negative inquiry, broken record, etc, but I don't feel like I've actually had that many instances to implement them. I have made little changes here and there, but I already had a lot of the basics of dread going before I found MRP. I have been fit for years, I dress well, I handle my shit at work and at home, but my sex life was lackluster. Over the last couple of months I have had more enthusiastic sex than I have had in the last couple of years. My issue is that I wonder if this is somehow a coincidence, with how little changes I've been able to implement. I don't see how it could be, but I get a little autistic about things, and think them over for days at a time. My wife told me the other day, "it's strange, I want to be sexy with you again", meaning for the third time that week. I asked why it was strange, and she said because she hadn't been like that throughout our marriage, and she was worried it was going to go back to that. I told her I liked how she's been sexy lately, and she said, you are sexy, that makes me feel sexy. I just said I know, with a wink. At the bar, I noticed more attention from other girls, they kept conversation going even though I don't talk much, and putting their hand on my shoulder at times. I guess I'm just looking for insight on how to think about it all. The gameplan is still the same. I listen to the audiobooks of Frame and Dread, or other red pill authors once a week while I work, to really engrain it into my mind. I don't wanna somehow slip back to the old me. I feel like I'm ALMOST in the stage where I catch myself just before messing up, and I wanna make sure I get to forgetting what messing up looks like. Something else weird happened the other day. Out of nowhere, my twelve year old step son said something about me being the captain of the family, and his mom being my first mate. It kinda freaked me out, I've never mentioned any of this to any of them. I have a bad habit of wanting to master things as quickly as possible, and having so much success so quickly makes me happy, but also has me worried I'm gonna feel like I'm doing better then I really am. The plan stays the same regardless, so it doesn't really matter, but I wanted to put my thoughts about it to page.
Apollo
2024-11-21 08:30:15 +0000 UTCWent on vacation with the wife this past week. Had plans for one location but weather looked poor so I decided we were not going and made arrangements for another location. Location turned out to be pretty good, we were both impressed. Subsequently, got me laid which was good. Then aunt flow showed up, no surprise it was getting to be that time. Wife was generally sweet and affectionate most of the trip but was comfort testing. For instance, I have not been wearing my wedding ring for awhile as i've been sour on the marriage concept for a time (anger probly) and she pointed this out as "I know you hate me" and I'm still not quite sure how to handle these sometimes so I just STFU. I do provide comfort once in awhile but I'm still trying to grasp handling comfort tests as a whole overall.
Joker43
2024-11-21 06:05:56 +0000 UTC69 forgot and implied work The evening before my bday my wife tells me she is going to her friends bday ( which is on my my bday.). This means I am taking care of the kid. It is no secret it is my bday. Presents from my mom are right in the middle of the dinning room table. I am a bit taken back and upset. I say, “ok, I am going to see an early (morning) movie tomorrow want to come.” She is to buisy. I go to bed. She has a revelation, wakes me up, crying. Realizes it’s my bday tomorrow, that is why I am going to a movie. I don’t say anything. Tears are flowing and 7 stages of nagahide apologizes which end in it being my fault for not telling her. I say nothing. (100% stfu) Go back to bed. My refusal to absolve her sins makes her more frantic. In the morning she is crying, deering… I say: “I don’t know what you are talking about. I am doing this… and this…. If you want to join then great. If you want to hang with your friends we will send you a photo.” and moved on with my day… goldfish memory. Went to a movie with my buddy. (Heretic: ok-fun). Went to an old school arcade with my daughter that night. Wifes anxiety manifested in her having stomach problems so she stayed home. Implied work Wife is doing an estate sale to sell her stuff. (She is one step from being a horder). I am expected to be apart of this. I continue my life on my terms and she freaks out. Starts yelling at me about not doing something … I yell back. I close a door on her to do my medical treatment and she yells about me running away… hiding behind a door…. (Brings up the list of usual stuff) I yell back (with concern to closing a door on her) “closing the door on you means to go away.” I come out and make to leave and she apologizes. I stfu. Leave… goldfish. Point: I decide what I will contribute. On my terms.
Cousin Eddie
2024-11-21 06:02:32 +0000 UTCWell, I should say I'm willing to stay if she gets her stuff together. I know the kids would be fine in the long run, I would make sure of it but I don't like the idea of having to pay for strangers to watch my infant during the day while both of his parents are working. If I wait it'll give me enough time to get my financial situation in check and also give time for the tow rope to tighten up (if at all). She contributes financially here and there but she's fickle with it. She does little stuff like buying the kids clothes and chipping in for things here and there but mostly spending it on takeout and dumb stuff. When we had a separate shared account she would always get angry at something stupid and start taking money out or just stop contributing all together. That's why when she got laid off from her last job I just decided to pick up an extra job so I wouldn't have to deal with all that stuff. I would rather have everything go into one account and then I would get the final decision on how we spend it from there but she is very contentious with money.
Aqua
2024-11-21 05:18:15 +0000 UTCMental point of origin. Add abundance and value to your life how you see fit. Plus we all know women will leave those rich dudes just as fast as a poor dude. Don’t take what women say at face value. People lie about all sorts of shit, don’t even know what she said was true. She felt bad about getting ghosted and wanted to see if you would be the kind of dude that would be the emotional tampon material or not.
Validation Junkie
2024-11-21 04:59:33 +0000 UTCTook one of my recent plates out on a date. After a few drinks she started talking about her previous dates. Like how an extremely wealthy old money guy treated her like a princess, took her on helicopter rides around the city and so on.. I told her “he sounds like an amazing guy” and asked “why did you leave him?” She said he ghosted her and “she had too much self respect to text him back” I said “bummer” and changed the topic. Took a note of the information she gave me and i’ll have to be careful not to invest too much in this girl, which is sad coz i kinda liked this one. this incident also revealed a massive insecurity in me about how much money i have. I felt really bad that I won’t be able to compete with guys like that in my life, and i think it showed on my expressions and body language for rest of the night. How do I deal with this insecurity so it doesn’t impact my interactions with other people? I tried to think of a few coping strategies: maybe i’m more jacked than him, maybe i’m smarter than him, maybe i have better “game” than him.. but they don’t make me feel any better Any suggestions?
Goten
2024-11-21 04:34:10 +0000 UTCOk cool, those are solid. I need to add things in like this. When I get tired and at work I don’t give much effort to being funny. Or witty
Validation Junkie
2024-11-21 03:45:21 +0000 UTCAgree and amplify would work in this situation: “you are chasing me? Oh really… am I hard to get? … bjs slow me down, try that… Nuking works… but if she keeps trying to “communicate” about your relationship try this: “Are we having fun? Do you enjoy spending time with me…. Then shut up. And pass me the remote.. and get me some chips.” 😂
Cousin Eddie
2024-11-21 03:29:59 +0000 UTCIf you are just hanging around for the kids…(keep the family intact till they are older.). You need to act in that manner. Meaning scorched earth. You take care of kids, you go out and date (quietly) Do not pay atentiin to her girls night out… if she cheats it’s over… if she does not cheat it is over. The way I am reading this is that you still have expectations from her, you still think she is somone worthy of your time. She is worth your diet coaching … Is her $1400 soly hers? A community account needs To be made. She needs to contribute. Also the divorce covert contract needs to be delt with. You can not be afraid of separating. Kids will adjust just fine…
Cousin Eddie
2024-11-21 03:24:09 +0000 UTCFR #2 You rightfully pointed out that I was vague last week, so here goes. [Background] Past: Started dating my first ever serious girlfriend around 4 years ago. Thought I was Alpha because of some Redpill YouTube videos I used to watch, but I was lying to myself. I played the role well enough, so she was great at first. I ended up getting her pregnant and thought I was "doing the right thing" by marrying her. I also ignored all the red flags of a female raised by a single mom with a history of sexual assault. I let her become fat, lazy, and bitchy. Not too long after that, I got zeroed out when I found a message sent to her ex about seeing each other. Found months of calls and messages between them on the phone bill. Couldn't prove any explicit cheating, but it was still enough to knock off the wife goggles. I tried to "hold her accountable," which obviously didn't work. Ended up staying because of a lack of options. Present: Found MRP about a year and a half ago and became a man who looks and acts more attractive and is willing to put in the work to improve his life. Dread is moderate but nowhere near where I want it. Sex was never a problem for me, just her weight. She's taking Metfomin right now, and the plan is to get on Ozympic at her next checkup. She's gone from 260 lb to 245 lb. (5' 7") I still lack frame. Future: I'm thinking divorce is the way to go. Probably in 4-5 years because I want both kids to be in school first, so daycare isn't raising them in their developmental years. The plan is to get a government job (I have a few ins) with good benefits and steady raises that will clear me 100k in my first 3 years. This should give me plenty of time to improve my physique, finances, and cultivate options with chicks. [FR] Mission: To work hard and play even harder. To become a man that my teenage self would be amazed by Read: WISNIFG, MMSLP, TRM, NNMNG, Praxeology 1-3, PFPFTPM, Book of Pook, Day Bang Stats: Age 25, 5'11", 159.6 lb., 13.5% Bf, Married for 3 years with two boys (4 and 1) 1RM: Bench 255 ,Squat 275, DL 315, OHP 135 Bear mode: 2 day full body split routine Average Daily Calorie Target - 3882 Kcal Daily Protein Target - 300g Top Sets: BP: 215x7, SQUAT: 230x7, DL: 250x6, OHP: 110x5 Adding 5 lbs. if 7+(6+ on OHP) reps on Top Set Took some advice and added more weight to the Squat bar than i usually do yesterday. I noticed I was breathing quicker while stepping in the rack, meaning I was afraid of the weight. I pushed past that fear anyway and attacked the weight head-on. No doubt I can apply this mindset to other areas in my life. School/Work: Still working 60-65 hours between both jobs. 3 classes, Week 4/8, All A's, second to last semester Finances: Need to be more proactive and disciplined with my Budgeting Social/Game: No real opportunities to game attractive women, but I did notice I was more social than normal while grocery shopping. Helped a post-stroke lady with her groceries. Chatted with another lady about random foods. Passed on a message to someone about the employee telling me they were out of a specific item we were both looking for. Smiling and greeting more people. I enjoyed it. Relationships: I let my wife gode me into an argument after she got home from a female party that I told her, I wasn't comfortable with her going to. It was supposedly an all-female drinking party with only a couple of friends that she actually knew. I ignored her calls and texts when she left for it, which I'm pretty sure caused it, and I acted butt hurt when she got home. She kept pushing the issue, wondering why I was upset, to which I just spewed my emotions because of my lack of boundry setting. I also let it slip that I wasn't comfortable with there being a couple of male friends in her friend group. One of which sells her weed. I should have just kept this to myself because I was not ready to actually enforce a specific boundary here. Part of me wants to, but another part knows that I wouldn't be feeling this way if I had other females I could call and bang at any moment. At the very least, I do not want them hanging around my house, which I suspect happens when I'm at work. I went for a short car ride to clear my head, and I came back to her seeking comfort, and we had sex. I'm not sure what to make of all that. I fell behind on finances, and my wife became anxious because of it, then started questioning me about things that needed to be paid for. I started to DEER but then caught myself and just said, "I got it, don't worry." Broken record after that then left to go pack the car with stuff that needed to be brought to her sister's house. She broached the subject again a few times later in the day in passing, to which I AM, and that was the end of it. A few hours later, I was working out and texted her that I was going to go grocery shopping afterward. Text conversation that followed: Her: I need to start cooking dinner again, and I have nothing to do that Her: *big list of things she wanted me to buy that included junk food for the kids* Me: Not buying garbage junk, so don't be surprised Her: it's not junk Me: And if you're going to ask for all that stuff, I'm going to need a contribution at least 25 bucks a week. That should be reasonable considering how much money you're saving by not eating out I'm assuming (She gets about 1400 a month in unemployment currently) Her: *Massive wall of a shit test* (I didn't read it) Me: $25 Her: No Me: 👍 Honestly, the money was not a problem for me. The rationale was that her financially investing in the groceries would encourage her to actually eat the food in the fridge instead of ordering out so often and letting it spoil. I went shopping later and only got the stuff that I was sure was going to get eaten. She mentioned that I didn't get everything she wanted, so I quickly reiterated what I said earlier and ignored her comments about me being controlling. She did not bring up the subject again. She comes to me anxious often about how the kids don't listen to her. I explained to her that they need consistent structure and to reward good behavior and not reward bad behavior. When she yells at them, I broken record that we don't do that, and I take control of the situation to show her how it's done.
Aqua
2024-11-21 02:58:34 +0000 UTCField Report #21 My wife called me while I was at work. It was the end of my day and I was tired and didn’t really want to talk long. I chatted for about a minute or so and told her bye. 5 minutes later she calls back, started talking about how she feels like she’s chasing me, and how I am being distant. Among a few other things about how she doesn’t think that’s fair. I interrupted her. Babe-I hear yah, i don’t have time to talk about this. I was at work and around others (I have no intention of talking about this later) I gave it a second sober thought and don’t agree with anything she is saying; except that yes, she is the one chasing me, and I don’t have any intentions on changing that. The other thought I had was to make sure to manufacture some drama while I am away from time to time. I do forget to do this until I am sitting there watching her melt. I need to set an alarm or something. Either way the topic never came back up, and I damn sure didn’t bring it up. I had a plan to nuke it if it got brought up again. I recognize that this was her talking about how she felt in that moment and that those moments come and go for women. I know I nuked the comfort test on purpose and some may say to use other tools, and I usually do unless I am on the phone or not tired. Phone conversations like that get nuked. Maybe that’s not the right approach but it got me the result in the end without any lasting headache
Validation Junkie
2024-11-21 01:16:31 +0000 UTC
