Patreon, R&P Q&A #289
Added 2024-10-16 22:45:29 +0000 UTC
Comments
Ok Eddie, good point I'm gonna work on that viewing wife as emotional teenager (my teenage daughter) for a bit. I think the covert contract is: I married you so I shouldnt have to worry about certain/several things such as sex, balancing the checkbook, tax returns, handling certain tasks regarding the kids. That's where my anger comes from I think.
Joker43
2024-10-21 23:29:39 +0000 UTCI have managed to avoid checking my wife´s phone or checking her location on the tracking app when she leaves the house as it was my last week goal I intend to keep it up Also every time I start to feel anxiety where the wife leaves I try to stop those thoughts and feelings think on something else instead All of this helped me to be less neurotic in this week Also I have limited the validation and compliments I give to the wife and she has been noticing She asked me about it and I said “I don’t know what you’re talking about” On Tuesday the daughters leave so me and the wife where alone in the house, I initiated and she rejected, I pushed thinking it was some token resistance, as she usually does, then she starts to yell and cry about how I only use her for sex I nuke it by yelling louder that we won’t be having a fight just because she doesn’t want to fuck and said “Of course I use you for sex only, Im a man, what do you want? To braid each other’s hair and talk about our feelings” then STFU She wanted to keep fighting but I didn’t answer, later she calms herself down and starts to kiss me and we smashed On Saturday I was working late and went to bed at 3:00 am, ready to sleep but the wife initiated sex, I was tired but after a few kisses I was ready to go It was a good week
Txane Murillo
2024-10-19 02:44:32 +0000 UTCAfter watching Patreon today I definitely fucked up the whole approach. Autism ran wild haha
Validation Junkie
2024-10-17 23:29:16 +0000 UTCOp sec One giant fog nice, that’s a good one. Could have completely kept me from getting into what I did.
Validation Junkie
2024-10-17 23:16:56 +0000 UTCAt the time I didn’t see at as a debate, only a statement. After you bring up the question I have to ask myself what was I accomplishing by saying that. I went to the gym without her after the morning game finished. I get what you are saying though and it makes sense. I still entertained the barf coming from her mouth by engaging. Kick the logic, copy that.
Validation Junkie
2024-10-17 23:15:38 +0000 UTCNew to posting here, been lurking on Ryan podcast for several years. Read sidebar books, tried to apply to my life, weak / mixed results. This month, getting a workout program going. Have been doing “Easy Strength” by Dan John. I have found I can do this well, without injury over time. Still need to get diet together, and work on interactions / frame. Looking to post, and make field reports to help with my development
Beach Hillbilly
2024-10-17 18:12:48 +0000 UTCNew guy here, about 4 weeks in. I've read NMMNG, Frame, Dread, and Rational Male, just finished WISNIFG last night. I've been diving in. Last week, I had a shit test when I woke up. Actually, I think it was a shitty comfort test. I complained to my wife that my massage gun fell from the table, and didn't work anymore. She took this as me blaming the kids for it, got upset. The argument led to her talking about how I was taking better care of my teeth, dressing better, smelling nice, was getting more fit, and wanted to go tanning. She said, that's what people who are cheating do, are you cheating on me? I said, do you think I'm cheating on you? She calmed down, and throughout the night, we sang songs and drank together. She drank HEAVY. We ended up messing around on the couch, and me leading her by hand up to the bedroom. We had sex 4 times and it was wild and good. This dread stuff is awesome, ha. Nothing really to solve, but hopefully the report was worth sharing. Like I said, I'm new. Thanks for all your work, Rian.
Apollo
2024-10-17 17:55:00 +0000 UTCMother called father pissed about bs, Father called angry because of bs ⊶ I hang up and put the phone on airplane mode and did not have lunch with mother when she came home; ⊶ I went workout and came back memory of a goldfish ⊶ nobody said anything and we were cool ∵ Removing my attention, affection and commitment is all I can do ∵ Memory of a goldfish works because it lets emotions settle Girl deserves attention and I've been giving it predictably ⊶ this makes it boring for me ⊶ decided not to reward good behaviour, I felt a bit anxious about it (fear of loss) ⊶ she worked even harder ⊶ I rewarded her ∵ The best way to incentivize good behaviour after a while is not to reward every time it happens, but to be unpredictable in the rewarding ∵ I still feel uncomfortable when being a “jerk” and not always rewarding good behaviour, but it’s so much better than it used to be and it gets better the more I do it
Owning My Shit
2024-10-17 17:28:31 +0000 UTC@Op Sec, I can't have a frame of "not hanging out with people who eat shit food" because then I'd have to cut out friends and family. I'm trying to have a frame of "we can hangout but I won't eat shit food or go above my calories" @Cousin Eddie, I gain weight because I end up overeating when hanging out with friends and family. During a cut I try not to be have too big of a deficit (except when I tried in July & Aug and failed miserably) @Dave, I'm not going on HRT. You're right, I plan to eat healthy, workout, & sleep properly and also track my T-numbers every 3 months. Hopefully it'll improve to a good level after a year
Ban Mido
2024-10-17 16:49:14 +0000 UTCHere's what I think they're leaving out with SSRI's... I don't think it's a serotonin booster, so much as it's a drug that pulls you a step back from reality. I think SSRI's cause derealization in a lot of people. For some people, that helps them get through the day because their life sucks. For other people, they lose empathy because life feels more like a video game (those people move higher up the psychopathic scale). I think that's why so many school shooters are on SSRI's. I also think that's why it makes some people suicidal. The consequence of killing yourself is a little less real and it erodes our natural barrier against hurting ourselves. The sandy hook kids should have sued big Pharma not Alex Jones.
Dave
2024-10-17 16:38:10 +0000 UTCIMO... take your time with any hormone replacement if you have that in mind. You're young and if you choose to go on T, you're going to be on it for life. I'd get your levels checked every 3 or 4 months for the next 18 to 24 months. Keep living clean and see how your levels are. You might find that you can get them where you want without an external source. Also don't get stuck on the number. How you feel and how your body performs matters more. I thought about doing it because as I've gotten older, it's been harder for me to push my body the way I normally do and getting injuries sucks a lot. I had my levels checked and I'm too high for T. I like the idea of having it, but I still have a long way to go at Age 50. I want to break triple digits, so I'm only half way there.
Dave
2024-10-17 16:29:06 +0000 UTCFitness – It’s been a rough month for my usual fitness routine. I’ve been away four out of four past weekends. I also got sick a couple times in that month. I’ve worked out and done stuff when I can, but maybe 25% of my normal routine. I’ll be back at it this week and get on track. I’m only a pound heavy. Foreign citizenship – I went away last week and came back home with temporary Mexican residency. The cost for fees and lawyers was only about $1,500. I probably spent another $4k on the flight and accommodation for the week. I screwed up with my credit card though because I had to pay using a card while a website said cash was fine. I should have purchased a cash visa card and used that. That said, I don’t care if my ex finds out because it might help in the divorce negotiation. If or when they inquire about it, I’ll resist their inquiries but let them figure it out so they feel like they revealed something, but also leave them with the feeling I’m trying to hide my actual intent. They’ll conclude that I’m planning to leave the country, which will incentivize them to settle out of court ASAP. I have citizenship in another country already and I’m going to apply for residency in other countries using that passport next year. I’m also going to apply to the US. Divorce – I have been late on all my disclosures. I have 8 banks accounts and a few credit cards and my lawyers wanted three years of records for each. I own six registered vehicles (truck, 3 motorbikes, ATV and a trailer). They wanted documentation for all sorts of things going back decades. Since I’ve been late, opposing counsel sent a threatening letter that they’re about to file an emergency petition to the court to get me moving quicker. That’s all good in my view because I want them to think I’m dragging my feet and that I’m not cooperative. It gives me clout for negotiating as a ‘madman’, which is one of the only plays I see as being viable. The other is playing nice of course, but we’re long past that.
Dave
2024-10-17 16:23:09 +0000 UTCThe subtext of your “I’m sorry you…”. Was. :” sucks for you”. So I don’t view it as an apology. Good response. Might feed into a fight? Not sure. I would have done a classic fog. “I hear you.” Stfu
Cousin Eddie
2024-10-17 16:11:17 +0000 UTCFocus on Outcome independence. Tod v dating on YouTube Lots of free usable content. Also make sure you hang out with groups of guys. Have fun.. have fun getting destroyed by women. You might find the opposite will happen.
Cousin Eddie
2024-10-17 15:55:29 +0000 UTCWent out to a concert. I peacocked with a snakeskin dress shirt, and it sparked up a conversation from another guy. He seemed cool, and we exchanged contact info. I saw him hit on a girl during the concert, so I think he may be a potential friend where we can wingman each other in the future. Next day went out to a garden park tour and museum – didn’t interact with anyone. This was my fault, I didn’t approach. The girls that I saw around were all with another friend – logically, I knew that this wasn’t a real issue – I just don’t have much experience with approaching two/three girls at once, and my head was messing with me. My plan for the next time I’m in this scenario is to make the goal easy and just focus on having good conversation. Next day went to an author talk event. I kept the idea in my mind to keep the goal easy – just focus on having fun banter. Approached three girls. One of the interactions went amazing. I maintained strong eye contact and vocal tone, and I was smiling and being slightly flirty. I got a good reaction from her – she was smiling back and was a bit nervous. In the moment, I knew this was the kind of reaction you want. In the past, I thought that girls getting comfortable and talkative with me quickly was them being interested. Now I consider that reaction more neutral or even bad. She had a guy friend with her that wasn’t happy with the interaction. He quickly swooped in and dragged her away before I could go any further. There was a girl I was too afraid to approach even though she was alone, and I had a good opportunity to open. It was because she was really attractive and had the closed-off guarded mannerisms. I cared too much – the other approaches I did earlier all went well because the girls were just cute enough for me to want to engage, but not so attractive that I cared about my ego or the outcome. I was going over another field report where the guy talked about doing between 10-20 cold approaches each day of the weekend. I was surprised about how he viewed it – he appreciated doing cold approaches and thought of them as opportunities instead of challenges. That’s the area I want to focus on right now – increasing the reps for my cold approaches and also directing conversation into getting a number and setting up a hangout. Key Thoughts - I’m naturally an introvert so I’m happy that I’ve progressed to being very comfortable planning and going to outside activities. - Right now, I’m okay but not completely comfortable cold approaching girls by themselves. I’m not comfortable cold approaching girls with friends or really attractive girls. - The area I want to work on is increasing that comfort level. I’m going to do this by recording my cold approach reps with the intent to increase reps as time goes on – I’ll set a target of 5 for the upcoming week. I’ll focus on just having fun conversations with multiple girls and hot girls, and for others I’ll go up to asking for numbers and setting up hangouts.
lemon
2024-10-17 15:31:49 +0000 UTCMy health take will be different than most: In short: you are a horse drawn to a salt lick. Put another way: you are energy deficient and need quick energy now. You are white knuckling it and the moment a crack opens you jump on the fun food. Your notes tell me you are trying to double down on white knuckling it. Finding faults with your willpower…. For most, raising your chi with eastern medicine is the easiest rout to restore energy and reduce cravings. Htma (energy by dr Paul eck) and gerson cancer treatment (very intense). Are other methods but also do more detoxing if metals.. viruses… mold.. all of these processes are time consuming and filled with inconvenient truths. So most will choose ozempic over these.
Cousin Eddie
2024-10-17 15:17:26 +0000 UTCI take your point…my thank you in response was for the apology itself, not necessarily for the content of the apology.
RUIN
2024-10-17 14:58:50 +0000 UTCWhy are you about that Indian chick? Act with chicks the way you acted with the slump buster. Don't focus on frame, focus on your goals. You know that you can't be around people eating shit food and not want to eat shit yourself. That's your frame, now deal with it.
Op Sec
2024-10-17 14:52:22 +0000 UTC“That’s that” … I think this is working as a fog. Similar to “I hear you.” Fogging is akin to patting your kid on the head: emotions noted…moving on.. Anger is a sign of covert contracts. Find the covert contract and eliminate. Ex: do you get angry when your child(or teenager) throws a tantrum? No. Is the appropriate mm to view your wife in: wife = emotional teenager? Try it. Map how you treat your whiny, irrational child onto your wife. See if you are still angry. And how she reacts.
Cousin Eddie
2024-10-17 14:51:47 +0000 UTCYou shouldn't be thanking her for apologizing for her mood swings. Makes it seem like you need something from her. Should be more like "what mood swings", or "can't expect a woman not to have mood swings". Yeah, everything a woman does is performative. She wanted to save her reputation. Hamster is going to hamster.
Op Sec
2024-10-17 14:49:20 +0000 UTCOrganized and flexible planning is overrated. Sometimes my system looks more like David Allen, sometimes I just write down one thing I want to do today, and othertimes I just get to work. More specifics may be necessary for better feedback, otherwise you'll get every guy on here woodshedding about what the best time management system is.
Op Sec
2024-10-17 14:45:25 +0000 UTC> Her:I feel like you are annoyed or something between us. "Ok"
Op Sec
2024-10-17 14:42:52 +0000 UTCIf you are angry feel it, and own it. Instead you are hiding the badness a very nice guy thing to do. You think being angry is unattractive, why? Last time I got angry at my wife, I got a blowjob from her. I wish I could be more angry at her. Instead you hide your anger and give an excuse that you know is complete bullshit and throw some jargon about frame over it.
Op Sec
2024-10-17 14:39:45 +0000 UTCOne thing I'm starting to find useful is to allocate some time everyday to clean up your todo lists, update your calendar, update/clean up your project task lists/board, etc. There was a phrase I heard somewhere, "showering doesn't last forever, that's why you shower everyday" -> This was in relation to motivation but I think it neatly applies to your task management setup as well.
Ban Mido
2024-10-17 14:27:17 +0000 UTCFR: * Got my Testosterone-levels tested and I'm at 413 ng/DL (with free T of 6.5 ng/DL). It's too low for my age (33yrs old) and a consequence of crash dieting in July & Aug to try to cut weight too quickly. Right now, I'm being extra careful about my lifestyle; ensuring I get 7-8hrs of deep sleep, eating atleast 1800 calories (I'm 5'8, 163lbs/74kgs and my TDEE is around ~2200 cals) of mostly steak, eggs, potatoes & veggies, eating healthy levels of fats, supplementing with Zinc, Magnesium, and Vitamin D3. And of course hit the compound lifts with intensity 3x/week * Also as a preventive measure, started using the SAD winter lamp as soon as I wake up. Also got another one to brighten up the other parts of my house. Seasonal depression was one of the reasons why I couldn't hit the gym last Nov & Dec. This winter I'm making my house a summer house * Been thinking about my frame/lack thereof. I'm trying to understand why I keep falling off my weightloss journey; I can be extremely disciplined when I live alone and be on point with my diet. But as soon as I'm on vacation or socialize with others, my routines and discipline starts to unravel. 2-3 days I'm good and I control my food choices when I eat out; but after 1-2 weeks I completely fall off. Eg: I restrict my calories by fasting until the evening, then eat as much delicious food as I want for dinner and even have room for dessert. But within a week of traveling/hanging out with others, I lose my self-discipline and give into the temptation of eating throughout the day with others. * Is it "I have no frame" or "my frame is I associate having fun/socializing with others with food and I need to decouple the mental connection of food == comfort & fun"? * I think the reason I struggle with weight gain when I hang out with others is because I don't enforce my boundaries, beyond first few days. And the reason I don't enforce them is because they're not important enough to remember/remind myself everyday. I tell myself my goals are important but as soon as I hang out with others, I forget my goals. A weekend trip with friends is fine; staying with someone for weeks/months, coupled with changes to my environment like when visiting my home in India for a month, is where I slowly forget my goals and stop doing the things that are important to me, like enforcing boundaries, hitting the gym, tracking calories, etc. * I'm trying to understand "my frame"; do I build my frame like this? * Frame: "I don't snack/eat during day time because I'm trying to cut fat and being lean is important to me" * Boundary: "I won't eat anything until 6PM" * Action: Tell "No, thanks" when someone offers me food or I crave to snack on something. Repeat as long as necessary to enforce the boundary * I'm trying to figure this out before a trip to Hawaii in the last week of October, with the Indian chick & her friends. It's a good opportunity to stress-test my frame. I want to continue my daily fasting until the evening and not give in when someone offers a bite of their delicious smelling food. * Sunday evening I went out with this HB4 I matched with on Hinge. We had already sexted a bit before so it was easy to just bring her home after a round of drinks. Though my sexual performance was good, I actually didn't enjoy the sex much. Her blowjobs were mediocre and uncomfortably toothy and I wasn't attracted to her. Also there wasn't much of a challenge and there wasn't any fun banter either. Essentially she was just a distraction that I could've gone without * I'm really not enjoying these random hookups but I do enjoy a good conversation. I think I'll stick to practicing game through catch-n-release; meet attractive women, get coffee/ice cream, walk around, escalate to a kiss, then drop her * Also, how come there are no Red Morning Hawaiian shirts? Need one for the upcoming trip to Hawaii
Ban Mido
2024-10-17 14:16:11 +0000 UTCYou are using logic and still deering. Ex: “Me: I understand, it killed the mood for me and I chose to go watch football. “. Better: I understand. …. I hear you… Ex of Logic communication: “I stated that it was her choice to have a shitty attitude, and that I wasn’t interested in having a shitty day over it. “ 1st do you think you are going to win o this debate? Better: stfu and have a good day with it without her. leave-Go to a bar and watch football Over time she will learn that you are not going to feed into or logically debate the barf coming from her mouth.
Cousin Eddie
2024-10-17 14:15:36 +0000 UTCPossibility of a career change is progressing. Final interview yesterday and was moved to reference checks. Hiring manager texted me that he’s hoping to have good news by Friday at the latest. It’s as done as can be without being official. I spent time considering your question from last week, why did I feel the need to break the stalemate before leaving for my trip? I’m still unsure if it was driven by a need for her validation, in my mind I was exhausted by the vibe of the home and worry it is impacting the kids. There’s a need to break the silent treatment for the sake of getting on with it and offering an off ramp for the hamster wheel, but perhaps that’s just another way of saying I need her validation. I struggle with how to respond to the elongated bouts of silence and discomfort in my home. Sometimes you say to STFU, other times you say to set the narrative with communication. It’s tough for me to navigate. Ended up going on the guy’s trip and had a great time over the weekend. Did not text or speak with the wife and was present with my friends the entire time. Returned Sunday and she stepped right back into the silent treatment. Decided to just go about my day as normal, enjoy the kids in the common areas, and be enjoyable me. Sunday night she walked into the living room and apologized to my daughter and I for “my mood swings, I can’t control them.” I said, “thank you” and the silent treatment continued. Tuesday afternoon she snapped. Screaming, yelling, accusations, and attacks came hot and heavy. You can guess what all was said, all of it in the vein of “you’re the problem, it can’t be me.” I saw this for what it is and was in a calm mindset, so just listened and said very few words in response. It resulted in what can only be described as a total meltdown. Tears, hyperventilation, and threats of suicide. She again demanded an apology for threatening her life with the drop off on Sunday. If I didn’t, she couldn’t move on. Can’t sit here and say I was perfect in response to all of this. I raised my voice a couple of times and DEER’d in response to some of the nonsense. I concluded the saga by saying I’m not in the business of apologizing to threats. The real news of note is that I learned she went to the doctor and they’re diagnosing her as premenopausal and said she’s dealing with depression. I found a prescription for SSRI’s in her purse. This is obviously very worrying. I made my views known that this is a dangerous route to take and I don't want a zombie wife. When things calm further I'm going to introduce a plan to only use this as a last resort when needed and to lean on coping mechanisms instead. Similar to what you did with your girl and anxiety meds. Hopefully we have the same outcome. After the explosion of emotions, she’s been more pleasant (shocker). Came back downstairs to our room. Last night right before bed she says: “I feel like we still need to talk and we haven’t worked through our issues, I don’t want to right now, but just saying.” I responded with: “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Inside I chuckled, knowing they do this when you’re most tired at the end of the day and that previously I would have been the one to need “closure” from a fight and get into it again. This time it was her and I batted it away quickly.
RUIN
2024-10-17 14:12:19 +0000 UTCI have had to learn to party with zero drugs. It will never be the same thing but I think most will find they can get 75% of the way there with no post party regrets. And saves you time.
Cousin Eddie
2024-10-17 13:54:36 +0000 UTCLook up David Allen's Getting Things Done Fast system. Also OODA loop everything.
So Woke da Wookie
2024-10-17 10:42:05 +0000 UTCHey Rian, Hey All, Things have continued to progress positively on all fronts. This field report is partially future-focused, and my aim is to check if I have any blind spots in relation to my current active plan. The main point for me is that I am withdrawing from plates until Christmas and I am only half sourcing. I keep flaking on them because: 1. I have things I want to focus on, and the social drinking and partying aspect affects my physical goals. 2. Neither plate is interesting enough for me to hang out with outside of partying. 3. I would prefer younger chicks, but the partying phase is over for now. I've been steady with the gym and continue to follow Jon Fitch’s program, which is excellent for older guys with underlying injuries. Basically, what I’m checking in for here is that I am entering a kind of 'Monk Mode'—I’d be happy with no-strings-attached sex, but I’m not putting in the effort for it over the next couple of months. My priorities at the moment are: 1. There are DIY projects I want to complete around the house. 2. I’m recalibrating my diet because partying and plating mess with it. There’s not much to change—just a few tweaks—but plates and casual relationships get in the way. So, I’m soft-nexting the plates. 3. I’ve redefined my role at work, and it’s been greenlit to focus on what I’m interested in (Design/Creative and Communications). We should be recruiting for my replacement after the next round of funding, allowing me to concentrate on what I want. 4. Additionally, I’m preparing my CV and network to generate new professional opportunities in the short term, as I’m now fully vested and want to explore my options. 5. I’m prioritizing mental clarity—I’m teetotal at the moment and plan to continue for the next 28 days, possibly until Christmas. 6. There’s been a lot of wining and dining for work, and although I’ve kept a clear head throughout, I don’t want alcohol clouding my decision-making or affecting my sleep. 7. I’m focusing more on spending quality time with my children through activities, which requires surplus energy and cash. Hence, the chicks and the drinking need to go for now. 8. I want to reconnect with my close friends socially and will use the freed-up time to do that. So, it's kind of an inward focus, and I needed to write this up to check for any blind spots or buffers.
So Woke da Wookie
2024-10-17 10:41:09 +0000 UTCHow do you guys handle organisation and time management at work? I’ve tried google calendar, to do lists and project management tools.. and I always end up spending more time on the tool than the actual project. Because when you hit a road bump in a project or personal life, all plans go out the window and planned deadlines, calendars are rendered useless. I’ve never been able to find the sweet spot of organised and flexible planning
Goten
2024-10-17 08:59:06 +0000 UTCField Report #18 Got a shitty comfort test. While smashing the wife one morning I rolled her over onto her stomach. I went and kissed her butt right before getting back to business. She got snippy and told me to stop. It’s just totally killed the vibe for me, I replied “ok” and got up and left. I was sitting on the couch watching football when she came out clearly upset. Sat down on the coach and started in on how she was mad that I just up and left. She goes on about how now we are not going to have a good day now. I told her “well that’s your choice.” I went on with my day, watched football, went to the gym and did my stuff. Later in the day things went back to normal. Next day on the way to the gym she brings it back up. Her:I feel like you are annoyed or something between us. Me: yesterday I was annoyed but not today. She had a bunch to say about it. Basically was upset that I just got up and left her. Me: look it killed the mood, and I chose to go watch football. She told me how hurt she was by it and so forth. Me: I understand, it killed the mood for me and I chose to go watch football. Got out of the car and went and worked out. Got home, after a shower I took her by the hand and we smashed. All was well after that and smashed once more before bed. In the moment I didn’t pick up that it was a shitty comfort test, until she brought it up the next day, and I realized she didn’t know how to deal with the “rejection.” I didn’t deer my position or console her. I stated that it was her choice to have a shitty attitude, and that I wasn’t interested in having a shitty day over it. Me fucking her after the shower was may way of guiding the relationship back to harmony. She followed suit and I was good with that. I decided to nuke the shit test when she said she was “deciding to make the day shitty.” I wasn’t into rewarding behavior I didn’t want. Plus it actually did turn me off. In the past I would have had a dented ego and played wounded bird. Or covertly wanted her to come out and try to make me feel better.
Validation Junkie
2024-10-17 06:39:09 +0000 UTCForgot to ad that when I found MRP last year I didn't get angry til recently (couple months ago). Probly cause I really started to implement some of this stuff.
Joker43
2024-10-17 05:04:17 +0000 UTCBeen looking for horses for the ranch. Wife and I looked at one a week ago that wasn't quite as good as advertised for a kid's horse but decided it had potential. Decided to make offer (jointly) did and was accepted. Monday comes and wife starts in on shit testing over buying the horse, but I hold ground and state that's that. She was being exceptionally shitty. Tuesday, I go get the horse and wife is much more pleasant and apologetic about said shitty behavior. This seemed easier to identify as a test for some reason as if it were blatant. I'm keeping my emotions in check and wife is acting affectionate. Not being stand offish but I'm not initiating/engaging in conversation much. Still experiencing anger over shit behavior from wife but I'm keeping that wrapped up and being cordial when around. To me, not expressing anger during or after a test would be more attractive to anybody when in the context of experiencing a test. I realize I am in the wife's frame if I am angry so I'm working on developing my frame by engaging with friends more as it seems to make the anger fade and I am more relaxed when I get home at night. Gotta admit I'm not doin the best as I feel I'm in a slump attitude wise since this is a busy season. This is an excuse I need to man up and deal with better. First found MRP little over a year ago read some stuff from Rollo and NMMNG but didn't really start implementing til recently. Just started here (patreon) little over a month. Haven't worked on much til now cause I wanted to avoid going "Rambo" as you guys say since I don't consider myself skilled with the tools yet. I finally seem to be able to differentiate shit tests and comfort tests at times and I think that has come from posting here the last couple weeks. I've been stfu lately (thank you Cousin Eddie) and it's helped. Want to get better at calibrating so I can identify when to use AA/AM and the like instead of coming off as a moron.
Joker43
2024-10-17 05:01:13 +0000 UTC
