Patreon, R&P Q&A #282
Added 2024-08-28 18:00:12 +0000 UTC
Comments
How long of a FR is too long….?
babykiller
2024-09-03 23:07:12 +0000 UTCcool on the: "Found DVD 4 from 1:31:00 and DVD 5 pretty useful for other things to do." the vids are useful but I got one plate who keeps thinking she is further up the Bitch MGMT ladder than she is. I hope there's some shitty date ideas in there ; )
So Woke da Wookie
2024-09-01 14:30:02 +0000 UTCMake some goals, take action, tell us the result. From your point of view not your wife’s or girlfriend’s. Post your field report on Wednesdays for the wolves to devour it, and tell you where you fucked up. Listen and apply. Read other guys field reports to get a feel for what’s up.
Validation Junkie
2024-08-31 05:16:16 +0000 UTCHi As short as I can. I came to the conclusion that my life is a fuck up and that I’ve been living in almost like in a dream until 2 years ago. I found out about the RP a year ago. The problem is I barely did anything to properly change anything(I had some progress enough to keep me confortable). The last couple of weeks were eye opening in this regard. I’m almost sure that I am in that faze where after u consume RP content for a while you realize how low you actually are and that you are just kicking the can down the road for the most part. I want to find a place to give it to me as it is and not sugar coat any bullshit cuz fuck me I have a lot to work to do. I’m ashamed of where I am in life in a lot of aspect. Will start to post some stuff here in hope that I can maximize what I can fix.
Brandy
2024-08-30 00:04:37 +0000 UTCStarting to recognize shit tests and damn, I’m getting a lot of them. Getting better with negative inquiry and agree and amplify, but I need to use cocky funny more. Hit or miss on fogging as I still fall into my habits of wanting to talk more instead of just leaving it at “okay” or “fair enough.” —- Driving in car and wife starts messing with vents and son roof Me: “When I’m driving the car please don’t mess with stuff” Her: starts to hamster “I was just….” Me: I know you like being in control but when I’m driving don’t mess with the vents. Her: I’m not trying to control. You don’t have to say that. You could have just said it once…… Me: l give her a look and just STFU and get out of the car. Pissed but decided it was good practice to not start rambling when she’s clearly not listening and to not let these comments from her affect my mood. —- Wife scheduled a doctor's appointment to learn about getting her hemorrhoid removed but the only availability was with a male doctor. She mentioned she was nervous about having a male doctor look at her ass and that it was even worse because he’s hot too (she works at the same medical facility). I said I’m sure he’ll be professional. She was getting ready today for the appointment and put on a red sundress after doing her makeup. I get out of the shower….. Me: “Ahh trying to impress your crush I see” Her: “No it’s just easier since I have to take my clothes off for the exam” Me: “haha, sure it is” (with a playful smirk) I go to get dressed then walk over and pull her in to me… Me: “you do look real sexy though” Her: “thanks” I slap her ass then go take care of our dogs. We drop our kids off then she drives me to the train. Her: “I’m so nervous and uncomfortable for this exam.” Me: “for the exam or the doctor?” Her: “he has to touch my butthole” Me: “well, hey if it goes well maybe he’ll take you out for lunch after” I give her a smirk and kiss her before getting on the train.
Alligator_Snapping_Turtle
2024-08-29 18:17:21 +0000 UTCHealth - Food – I have cut down my sugar intake. I don’t drink fruit juice with my meals now and I have replaced a lot of my chocolate snakes with honey roosted cashews and mixed nut. - Gym – Generally its going well. I tired the 5 by 5 workout and it was not for me. Bench – 80KG-90KG, Squat – 80kg, Deadlift – 180/200KG. - MMA – Four sessions a week (BJJ, Kick/boxing). I have picked up sparing again. - Sleep – 7.5hrs on average Work – Is going well enough, I am focusing and improving my technical skills in typescript. LTR- 6 years (Age 30 both of us, no kids - engaged) Sex life has been very low. The lowest it has been in my life. Loool. She has been on the implant for the past 6 years since we have been together, and her periods are just getting longer and longer. This month is lasted for 3 weeks, which is quite concerning. So I agreed for her to take it out + plus this has been overdue to come out 6 months ago. Things that I have observed for the past 3 weeks - I have observed that gym is paying off massively. I am constantly getting compliments for my fiancée, family member and friends. Its feels good. I must say. I used to have this Virgin Modona view of my misses! For years I had use to stop her from wearing the carnival feathered costume because I was insecure of the number of men that will attempt to dance with her and I thought it was to slutty. (I guess this even bleeds as to why I choose her in the first place, I don’t want someone that got too much attention. Old me thinking) - I have been going to carnival since I was 12 years old and I always use to sexualise the women there. This year at the carnival she had her carnival feathered costume, Her and I danced for the 2nd part of the carnival, and I had a shit ton of fun with her and so did she. Whenever men would try to dance with her she would push them off. One of the things that helped me was me talking about carnival this time last year was Rian saying “nothing past the skirt and noting in the month”. This helped me relieved my insecurities away. At the point I don’t care if men dance with her for 10-20sec. I have going to carnival and dancing with other women for years and I did it this year for the first half of the carnival so, this is one little covert contract killed and I have helped me stop hiding and suppressing sexuality a little less
Cocky_funny
2024-08-29 17:57:29 +0000 UTCSounds like you learned proper English? Or it’s a second language maybe? Either way I have found that being relevant in the times helps. Like you said Tik tok, insta and watch comedians. Not necessarily for the comedy but how to captivate and command an audience and sharpen timing. Ask people about their experiences and lives may also help. Improv would be cool and considered doing it just to sharpen the skills.
Validation Junkie
2024-08-29 17:53:02 +0000 UTC@CovertContractAttorney - it's more like I'm putting people off by the way I normally communicate. I observe that other people seem to get closer much more naturally than I do. I don't want getting closer to people to be harder than it has to be.
Dante Panda
2024-08-29 17:45:32 +0000 UTCI'm curious about this: "Basically I have a preset of set replies in a spreadsheet (for broken record) to her BS and ones for set for the court - until STBX sends a number of disclosures." An actual spreadsheet?
CovertContractAttorney
2024-08-29 17:43:07 +0000 UTCWhy do you want others to be closer to you? How is the situation affecting you? Is this because you want others' validation or is it because you want to be more effective in some way?
CovertContractAttorney
2024-08-29 17:40:41 +0000 UTC@Validation Junkie > Does the evidence support the claim? Yup, I've heard similar things said by other people, but I didn't make the connection that it was keeping people from being close at the time.
Dante Panda
2024-08-29 17:09:46 +0000 UTCI agree it can be taboo for sure. Remembering to actively play the frame game keeps me from acting sublicative, and improves my own mental point of origin. I agree it does have a benefit
Validation Junkie
2024-08-29 17:06:33 +0000 UTCDoes the evidence support the claim? Have you considered asking a best friend their honest opinion? Or is she using womenese to tell you that you are too stoic, being the rock not the oat with her, and she feels uncomfortable around you?
Validation Junkie
2024-08-29 17:00:10 +0000 UTCWhy do you want people to be more comfortable around you? If you raise your standards people will be less comfortable around you. As your value increases people will be less comfortable around you. I really got a ton of benefit from improv. Not a fan of TikToks.
Op Sec
2024-08-29 16:52:57 +0000 UTC"What? Why? This is how I talk" My girl brought up that the way I talk makes it hard for people to feel like they can be close to me. It's as if I have a very professional serious tone. Even when I joke, it sounds like I'm older than I really am. The other thing is that I was raised to communicate in standard written English. I always talk in complete sentences. That puts off a lot of folks because English is considered more "high brow" than Filipino. I've always been told that I speak a certain way, but no one told me that they don't feel like they could get close to me. I can't blame them though, what are they going to say is wrong with me? It was never a problem during pickup. The girls I fucked were receptive to it. No idea why. I don't see anything "bad" about the way I talk, but if it's keeping people from feeling comfortable around me, then I think it's worth the effort to make some changes. I don't know where to start. Here are some ideas, but I don't know if they'll work: - Improv classes - Watch more Sitcoms and TikToks - Read fiction
Dante Panda
2024-08-29 16:43:02 +0000 UTCShe asked, I said yes. I haven't had to do it since. I like not having to do it, but yeah, if it needed it, I would just get it done. Not sure why you would be confused. Yeah, Stripper, it's something I've thought of. My thoughts are that I would have to do a better job of it for a broader audience, that would take more time. Perhaps it would also be beneficial for me, but at the moment I'm doing other things instead. If I can just spit out better prose through practice here and keep better notes, it might happen anyway. Though then I ask myself why would I do that. I don't care for notoriety and there are better ways that I'm making money. Having gotten rid of things I don't want, figuring out where to take my life next/vision is where I'm at(or perhaps not, I thought I was here before).
Op Sec
2024-08-29 16:41:06 +0000 UTC“Inner game” Can be a bad word here but I personally find it to be powerful. I find myself in situations where I am confused by a woman’s reaction. I immediately tell myself this chick wants me, can’t get enough of me. It changes my behavior and the interaction changes. Always in a positive way. The small changes you are making will change the interaction.
Cousin Eddie
2024-08-29 16:29:01 +0000 UTCyour final statement clarified: If you have a feeling of a covert contract to change her…. You still have a covert contract. It is your right to tell her or not what you did on your trip. If you want relationships where drug use is on the table then tell her … or vice versa. If you told her for validation or to deer then you need to work on that.
Cousin Eddie
2024-08-29 16:15:45 +0000 UTCTake home points: ——You can feel it in your writing that the divorce is behind you. You put on auto pilot to allocate your time to more important things. … Being “chad” is a lesson onto its own. … basic rp rules translate into everything. Well done.
Cousin Eddie
2024-08-29 15:54:44 +0000 UTCWhat is name of your podcast?
Volare Alto
2024-08-29 15:43:18 +0000 UTCHey Gents, It's really interesting to watch the shift in my own attitude once the roster is going. Thinking I am prize isn't an affirmation, the behaviours immediately shift to ones that generate desire in women. I do actively have to remind myself that much of the plates attempts to seduce me and get my time is girls operating without game. It gives me a glimpse of how frustrated a women must be to interact with men without game. Also, how clients and stakeholders would view nice guy/ supplicating behaviour in work Further, game and abundance greatly amplifies my higher value behaviour in work. Focusing more on the High Impact/Low Effort Work and delegating everything else. And the social signals generate subordinate responses from most individuals I interact with. This week I had another HNW individual asking me to set up a new ventures they will bank roll with me. Thinking about it at the moment. I've been a little looser on the gym routine so I am going to head there now. Saw my divorce consultant (trained solicitor) - decided to close out with my current solicitor and based on strategic evaluation decided to slow walk everything with the STBX. Basically, there is no immediate value to proceeding now as everything is effectively established and Ex has cash she clearly wants to blow on legal. Basically, all routines are established and all my payments are reasonable, so basically the process is that STBX should be left to fight to get me to court because once I am in there, all my processes with the STBX are basically just a little bit higher than what the court would rule in a standard ruling. Basically - everything I have in place is either locked in as the court would rule or something that would need only a micro adjustment. Further, if she dragged me to court - it would most likely be considered a nuisance because she is off on her end. Basically I have a preset of set replies in a spreadsheet (for broken record) to her BS and ones for set for the court - until STBX sends a number of disclosures. The judge will not see the case or amend any of the current arrangements. I literally am the Irish guy running the Irish divorce as a system. Our legal system and our Better Beta strategy currently combine in a way that optimises the situation for me.
So Woke da Wookie
2024-08-29 10:54:34 +0000 UTCI’m confused about letting the wife scoop cat litter. I mean she does it but if I smell it or see it I clean it up just like with the little cunts drink or eat too much and then vomit it back up of the middle of the floor.
Fez
2024-08-29 09:36:05 +0000 UTCField Report #23 Went on a weekend trips with some guy friends. I went into the trip purposefully putting myself in positions to meet girls, get a second opinion and get reps flirting. Went bar hopping each night, stayed out and closed out the bars each night in the city. Felt safer playing catch an release in a bigger city where I didn't know anyone else since I am from a small town. Got numbers each night after chatting up girls at the bars. The last night my buddy saw a chick across the bar with a group of guys and said she looked hot. I didn't think and just walked into the group and started talking to them, got the girl in one-on-one conversation and eventually got her number. On that front I accomplished what I wanted to which was to have fun, meet new people and get a sober second opinion. Where I fucked up was when I came back home. I overshared with the wife more details of the trip like trying new drugs. She said how she didn't feel comfortable with me trying these new things without her. I know I fucked up by not STFU and letting the mystery of the trip just be there. I used agree and amplify by saying "I'll be sure to only do coke at house with the kids from now on." Sex life the past couple weeks has been lackluster. My drive towards fucking her has been non-existent since I got back from the trip and I have only initiated a few times.I just haven't felt a strong physical attraction to her. Seeing the options out there I have been asking myself "is this the best there is?" I have been feeling numb in my interactions with her. I initiated one night and got starfish, flipped her over but couldn't stay hard so I told her lets reset tomorrow. Woke up the next morning to her rubbing my dick and we had sex before the kids woke up. After I finished she said I owed you for last night. I can't remember the last time she initiated in the morning not on vacation. At first I tried to get in her head trying to figure out why she did that. I stopped myself and just appreciated it for what it was. I know I can't change her and I can only change myself but I am still feeling echos of a covert contract of doing all this to change her.
Amos_Durden
2024-08-29 06:05:02 +0000 UTCCompletely agree with Stripper, even if it seems mundane.
Validation Junkie
2024-08-29 04:07:16 +0000 UTCUnderstood, thank you
babykiller
2024-08-29 00:00:21 +0000 UTCdid you invite her in. "You want a glass of delicious tap water?"
Op Sec
2024-08-28 22:23:49 +0000 UTCChefs kiss Stripper
Validation Junkie
2024-08-28 21:09:26 +0000 UTCI’m finishing up fight class and talking to another guy as we are on the way to our cars. “oh yeah, I barely drink, well, I’ll go out for a beer if my wife pisses me off”(though it’s been a while). He stops, looks at me, “oh my god, you do that too!”. We were both surprised, some of this shit that I had to learn the hard way here, is just normal guy shit. I’m talking to my pool guy, who works with his wife. me: “Yeah, I let my wife scoop the cat litter”. “Hold on a second, did you just say ‘I **LET** my wife scoop the cat litter’”. I don’t try to red pill people, but things just leak out, and yes, I do allow my wife to scoop the cat litter. I did it to my standards, ignored all complaints about me doing it wrong, I was happy with it. She eventually asked for permission to do it. I finished reading The Power Bible by Brendon Lemon(2020), somehow this book is very hard to search for on Amazon, like on some kind of blacklist. It’s a book on frame, very similar to Praxeology vol 1, but not solely focused on relationships. It’s got a big section on frame control. There is lots of overlap. Some of the tactics they describe, I stumbled upon already, and the convergence is nice to see. The book wasn’t perfect and they paid some lip service to writing it towards both genders, and needed to mention global warming. However, overall, I would recommend this one to anyone here.
Op Sec
2024-08-28 21:04:24 +0000 UTCBatman origin story Self flagellation lack of boundaries new years resolutions I see issues, but I have no idea what you want. I suspect you don't know what you want either. Start by getting your life together and write the next field report about what you did in the past week. https://rianstone.substack.com/p/how-exactly-do-you-take-the-red-pill
Op Sec
2024-08-28 20:46:55 +0000 UTCThank you. Got it, I will read both again. I assume you’re referring to my hope that she would change her behavior “if I break up with her and…then …she will be nice”.
babykiller
2024-08-28 20:29:39 +0000 UTCThank you, I see your point about the purpose of STFU
babykiller
2024-08-28 20:25:40 +0000 UTCNice logistics, you just need to work out the details I suggest inviting her to your place for drinks for a second date DiCarlo wise, some things to try out and expand upon: - If she wears rings or bracelets: Say something like "Let me see that ring/bracelet" while moving your hand towards hers. Then take her hand and look at the ring while holding her hand. - Tell her you are a part time palm reader. Take her hand and explain what the hear, head and live line are and trace them with your finger. Say something stupid, like your live line should flow in this direction but it is flowing in the other direction? Are you benjamin buttons sister by chance? Or make up random shit based on the information you have - Make sure at least at a later point you sit next to her and then touch her legs with your legs And go ahead and try out other things. Did you watch the Annihilation playlist? https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSgSQd4jB3UFE9IaC9qALH3wOOQhUzuFl Found DVD 4 from 1:31:00 and DVD 5 pretty useful for other things to do.
Am I red yet
2024-08-28 19:42:48 +0000 UTCField Report #13 Quiet week, I’m back to work. I got a call from my wife. Her:hey this is a stupid question, but did you block me on instagram? I can’t tag you in a photo. I decided to use cocky funny. It came out a big clunky the first time, thank God I don’t always have good reception all the time and just repeated myself confidently and clearly. Me: I said “oh shit you found out haha” Her:ugh I knew it was stupid. It’s fine I will just… (trailed off) Me:hey I am at work and got to go, I love yah. (Legitimately had to go) I didn’t bring it up later either. The cocky funny seemed to work. I maybe completely wrong, yet by replying this way i didn’t directly address her feelings and still answered the question “yes this is a silly question.” Had to swing by the admins office to get paperwork from her and drop off some equipment. Her: hey I haven’t seen you around in a while, where’ve you been. Me: been busy Her: you are always busy Me: I am…hey that such and such equipment you gave me isn’t working. Her: you broke it!? Me: other way around, you gave me broken shit sister. (Chuckled to keep it light) Her: she smirked and put hand to chest and acted offended. Did a little push pull with her and left. Again this is something I would have down played in the past. “No I am not that busy.” “Yeah sorry I don’t know what happened to it.” For me it’s about the practice of not reverting to self deprecation and implementing subtle frame shifts. I have been using it with my wife as well. Her: I bet you can’t wait to get a bj Me: I bet you can’t wait to give one. Just simple frame shifts that help build my inner game. I also been working on saying something nice or sexual to my wife without a covert contract and just say it in passing. This one was through text. I have been away. Me: I want you Her: I’ve been waiting for you to tell me. Me: (kiss) emoji No supper sappy rebuttal, no huge emote. I would have jumped at the chance to attempt to elicit more emoting from her. All to satisfy my covert contract of needing validation. I am truly am a validation junkie on his way to recovery.
Validation Junkie
2024-08-28 19:13:09 +0000 UTCFirst, wanted to appreciate everyone who’s been giving feedback. Currently, I don’t have the perspective of a guy who just gets it, so it’s great to get other POVs. Had a first date over the weekend. The plan was drinks at a dive bar to build rapport, stop off at my place to get my dog to walk, walk to the park with a water fountain that lights up at night to build intimacy, then head back to my place to drop off the dog. A1 (Opening) – Knew she had recently taken a trip for a writer’s retreat. Asked her how it went, and she started talking about it. Initially, she was nervous, but got excited about the topic and slowly became comfortable. A2 (Female-to-Male Interest) – My three DHVs were: (1) beating up two muggers who jumped me from behind, (2) explaining a essay I had written that I was proud of and could explain passionately, (3) gave a satisfying answer to a conflict she had in her head about whether or not to move from the city (“you’re intelligent, but that also means you overthink your problems – just keep it simple and trust your intuition”) A3 (Male-to-Female Interest) – The three IOIs were: (1) her being nervous in the beginning, (2) caught her eyes glistening during some DHV stories, (3) told me straight up that she wanted to make sure I knew that her texts to me was her flirting. I had no clue that she was flirting in her texts – they read like normal texts. But I sort of fucked up here - I let it slip I talked about her to a friend of mine and told him that I thought we had chemistry from when we met a few weeks ago – I was expecting for her to respond enthusiastically that she thought we had chemistry too. She hesitated and said yeah there were vibes. It felt like she was pulling away, but I’m not sure, maybe I was overthinking. Realized that I revealed too much by saying I was talking about her to a friend. Recalibrated and focused on giving cocky-funny responses and not to give more direct signs of interest. C1 (Build rapport) – Built rapport over talking about wanting to write books and nerdy hobbies. Also talked a bit about things we liked in the city. We spent about three hours at the bar talking and for the majority of it (outside of the chemistry reveal fuckup) the rapport felt great. C2 (Build an emotional and physical connection) – Here is where I started having issues. I broke the touch barrier hugged her at the start, but didn’t escalate any further via the DiCarlo Escalation Ladder. I had a hard time finding opportunities where touching didn’t come out of nowhere. I have to keep this more in the back of my head so when I see an opportunity, that I just do it. When we left the bar, she made sure to mention that she had an important meeting the next morning and it was probably time for her to sleep. I just said sounds good, let’s take a walk first and then we’ll get you back home – figured she could change her mind later. When I mentioned we should stop at my place to walk the dog, she was a bit surprised I lived in the area and made a comment about how it was such a coincidence that I lived right nearby. I didn’t say anything and went inside my place – she didn’t come in, she stayed right at the entrance. I got the dog, and we went to the park. C3 (Intimacy) – We walked around the park, but I was a bit surprised because the secluded rest area around the fountain was too dark since the lights were turned off. The plan was to sit down and for me to escalate and make out. I walked us to another location that also was a secluded place with nice mood lighting, but the lights in that area was also dark. Decided to try to go back to my place and see if I could escalate there, but the girl made sure to stay outside the door when I brought the dog in – this time she wasn’t even at the entrance but several feet away from it and she already called a Lyft, which came surprisingly quickly. While we were traveling from place to place, we were still having great conversation, it was just that I didn’t escalate. It felt like we ended on a good note because we agreed on hanging out again and she sent me a couple texts about having a great time and looking forward to our next date. Key Thoughts - Having issues with DiCarlo Escalation ladder and being unused to physically escalating during the date – the next time, I’m going to pick something a bit more physical which will give me more opportunities. - I am reminded of how much I overthink things in the moment. Writing this field report and distilling it to key points that led to the forward momentum made me realize that there were a lot of little points that didn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
lemon
2024-08-28 19:11:13 +0000 UTCSTFU is not about not whining about it. It’s so you shut up when she is bitching so you don’t de-value or betray yourself with your mouth. You did have some action in here. You rooted through the trash and found out why you don’t do that. There are 20 million bitches in the US alone trust me, you can find one that does all of things and more if your a high value dude. You don’t miss those things about her as much as you miss the chemical highs and lows, mixed with the crazy monkey sex I am going to assume you all had at one time. A freak in the head is a freak in the bed. I could be off
Validation Junkie
2024-08-28 19:08:35 +0000 UTCRound 10 Quick check in. It's been a few months. Business is still bad. Unfortunately had to do layoffs in August and had to let several really long time people go. That was difficult. Also sold my car. Unfortunately, it brought less than I wanted, but the market is down on cars like this pretty much across the board so it was somewhat expected. The auction house is having real problems with the buyer also and it looks like the deal may unwind. Now that I've done layoffs, it kind of doesn't matter. I wouldn't mind having it back. The influx of cash would be nice, but I can probably suffer along without it if I have to. What I was trying to avoid has already happened. The buyer has about two more weeks to get his shit together or the auction house is sending it back. I'm fine with either outcome I guess. Watching it cross the block was fucking brutal though. On the fitness stuff, I am still fighting pretty regularly, but my overall gym time is definitely way down. I'm getting in about one day a week for boxing and about 1 day a week in for weight training. I'm noticing that I'm starting lose strength and I am gassing quicker, so I need to fix this. Unfortunately, football season has also now started back up which means I've also lost most of my gym partners. I'm pretty good at being self-motivated, it's just less fun this way. I'll make more time and I'll deal with it. Is what it is The last several months, I've been on the road 3-4 days a week also trying to drum up new business. I've had almost no days off since probably April and that's starting to wear on me pretty hard too. I'm making a lot of contacts and setting up a lot of things for the future, but unfortunately right now nobody's spending any money. Everybody's waiting on the Fed to lower interest rates. I suspect once that ball gets moving, the floodgates are going to open, but for now I'm just basically flushing money down the toilet and running myself into the ground. I've been engaging mentors from the past to kind of offer perspective on a lot of the stuff and they're basically just telling me that I got to keep making noise and keep plugging away and that the money I spend now if I stay the course will come back when things correct themselves. I suspect they're right, but it's still stressful. I've also got my event series getting ready to bare back down on me again. The family (my former mentor's family, who I bought the event series from, who is contracted to operate the majority of things with it for another few years still - they get out of line quite a bit. This would not be their first bullshit rodeo) is starting to act like they might want to take a step back this year, but I'm not a position to let them do that. I really don't want to have to fight them over this, but we'll see what happens. Hopefully everyone behaves One of the positives of being back on the road so often, is it's opening up a lot of opportunities to meet a lot of different kinds of women in different places and I'm definitely taking advantage of that. I've got a whole system set up now where I'm swiping on dating apps and doing a few other things prior to coming into each city so that I'm set up in the evenings to go be social. If I meet a girl I can plate, I'm taking advantage of it and I'm doing the long distance thing (which I'm actually kind of finding I really like and it really works well with my schedule and everything else I've got going on) and if not, I'm making friends and trying to do the social circle thing. I'm also finding that there are significant differences between the women in the city that I live in and pretty much everywhere else. Obviously there's various degrees of things in various places, but what I'm finding is that women in my home city are definitely different and unfortunately sort of universally terrible. There's tons of attractive women where I live, but I'm finding way more femininity, way less boss girl shit and way more compliance overall elsewhere. I'm sure that's partially due to limited amounts of time of being with girls and so they're on their best behavior, but I'm cool with that. I'm not sure now's really a good time for me to look for anything that's sort of semi-real anyway and it's a fun idea to have reasons to go places outside of work. I've also flown a couple in so far and I'm enjoying that too. It sort of forces me to escape things temporarily and that's not a bad thing. There's one girl in particular that I'm actually enjoying more than others. She's in a city that's pretty close to mine that I'm in every 20-30 days or so. Plus, she's about a 45-minute flight away, so that's making things pretty easy. Most of the boxes are checked, but unfortunately, she seems pretty committed to trying to be TikTok famous (as a 32-year-old) and that's raising some pretty significant concerns. I've gone out with Instagram models and things like that before and there's a difference between how they operate and how the TikTok people operate. TikTok is definitely worse. I'm not really sure how to confront her on this, nor do I think I'm really in a position to do so, both from her perspective and mine, as I don't think I can handle anything other than plates right now, but I think there might be potential here if things kind of calm down in other places. The TikTok thing is really the only problem. If I can get her to kick that, there might be something here. Should I consider this a regular boundary enforcement type situation where it's either take it or leave it, or do I just ignore it and take this situation for what it is? Who's got experience on this one? That's all I got for now.....
McChickenshit
2024-08-28 19:07:22 +0000 UTCThanks for the reply. I’m making excuses, I didn’t lift for the past month and only just got off my ass to join a gym. Chose an mma gym. As for the vagueness.. I see what you mean. I can focus on a single situation next. I’m not fucking yet, no plates yet.
babykiller
2024-08-28 18:59:41 +0000 UTCWelcome! > paused lifting due to move and joined mma gym to cover gap you are telling me, your new location got no place to lift weights but an mma gym? or are you making excuses? rest of the post was pretty vague and/or incoherent are you fucking? do you have plates?
Am I red yet
2024-08-28 18:50:49 +0000 UTCYou went cocky funny and it worked. The metaphorical waitress is referring to flirting with someone that has to be nice back to you. Not joking that you maybe in the market for another chick at some point of your life. Sometimes I cocky funny joke with my wife “you keep it up and you just might be my future ex wife.” There is very little to be made of it. Only thing it shows is that you came off non-judgmental enough that she felt free to express herself. Or maybe she’s an exhibitionist, which what girl isn’t. Either way, it was fun and exciting. Broken record and won. 🥇 Nice
Validation Junkie
2024-08-28 18:46:09 +0000 UTCGirl took some nice pictures of me on a weekend trip. Told her they are nice and joked that I will use them the next time I need an online dating profile. I need to stop saying shit like that. I am flirting with the metaphorical waitress. On the trip she showed me her tits twice in public, once at a bus stop and once at a public pool. Not sure what to make of it, but it was exciting. I downloaded an app that offers summaries of books three months ago. Did not like it and removed it from my phone. But apparently I did not cancel my subscription correctly, as they just charged my PayPal for 50$. As I did not want to use the service, I wrote them an email to cancel my account immediately and reimburse me. They answered that regrettably it's not refundable according to their terms and conditions. I responded that I understand that, but I don’t plan to use the service, so I want them to give me a refund. And then they just gave me the refund. I can’t believe it, but the money is back in my PayPal account.
Am I red yet
2024-08-28 18:20:39 +0000 UTCFirst field report here I’ve recently made major life changes. I did so from an emotional state with my ex and burned shit to the ground, it was dumb and uncontrolled. I quit my last job (high paying engineering company), packed my shit, broke up with my ex, shipped my things across the country, and proceeded to be unemployed for 9 months larping as a self-improvement junkie, vacationing, looking for jobs, trying to get over my oneitus, and writing to myself. I couldn’t control myself. At the time, it felt like she died. I found a new job, moved to a new state and started working. I spent a lot of money doing this and lost a lot of income. I consider this my ‘zeroing out’ and what has led me here. What I’ve done: 33, 5’6”, 147lbs Reading: NMMNG 2x, WISNIFG 1x, PFP 1x Workouts: SL 5x5, endurance every other day, paused lifting due to move and joined mma gym to cover gap (3day/week schedule). Social: getting out salsa dancing and met some people, fucking around with social game to stay occupied My goals: 1. Recover my finances 2. Find a new career path 3. Stop being a miserable prick about my career and women Goal progress: 1. Savings. target 12 mo safety (eta 2 months), then home downpayment/investments. No idea where to live. 2. I’m a senior level engineer and don’t like it but it’s a ‘good job’. I am delayed in promotion due to fuckups. I’m brainstorming a list of things I want changed. 3. STFU - I chose everything in my life including job, including any women. No reason to complain. Either change it or STFU and build with it. a. Cell phone usage was > 3hours/day. Put my phone in desk drawer during work. I’ve installed usage blocking apps and locked down settings to limit usage. Deleted all social media except severely locked down Reddit. b. Practice not DEERing, get up off my ass and go to the work, engage and let my natural mechanical curiosity work for me instead of mental masturbation all day with fantasy. c. Stopped playing video games entirely. Didn’t buy internet in new apartment, relying on hotspot to get things done. d. Keeping good sleep cycle. Observe: My ex girlfriend has reached out to me after 9 months (I’m pretty sure that’s only a coincidence) of no contact, I engaged with her because it turns me on that she’s not given up even though I dumped her and ran across the country like an emotional toddler. Through some real toxic conversation I told her I was open to reconnecting but I won’t be responding to any abusiveness. She responded in rage. Calling me names, screaming, berating, demanding, ultimatuming me that I need to come make things right. To paraphrase… I’ve since gone silent because wtf am I doing? Orient: Single mom, bad decisions, health issues, etc… I still hardly believe that I’m in this situation. I’m aware I could tell her to stop trying and block her. But I haven’t wanted to finalize that. I have a problem with intentions here. She has qualities I want in my life (sexuality, compliance, tea in a nightgown, self-sacrificing, ride or die, hard work, tough, seductive, family focus, me focus, action focused, obedient). I am a fag hung up on single mommy. I left to unfuck my mental health from the death spiral it was in. Which I accomplished. My main problem, she called me out for real shit, I was incompetent. Yet the aggression is too much for me to handle, I want peace. I am responsible for this by re-engaging after breaking up, leaving, no contact for nearly a year. I wanted to hear her change her tune, but even while I was doing it I realized I was “trying to hold that bitch accountable” and have her DEER to tell me why I should come back, so I stopped. I loved her. But I know she wouldn’t even begin to address abuses without my guidance, cooperation, and commitment, which would require me making big moves to demonstrate. That is daunting given the moves I’ve made already, and the delay in my life. Decide: I don’t want the pain Act: back to no contact I can’t help but feel I mishandled her entirely, that I’m the problem for not recognizing how to manage myself better (I was neurotic), and that I’m fucking up by ‘not coming home’ like she’s been begging. The girl packed my lunches and would do anything, believes she ‘bought a house for us’. I have no concerns about finding a new girl; I have concerns about finding one that can compare to the service and dedication levels. I think it’s just not possible and I have to accept less in a way. I’m running social game right now to create abundance for myself and prevent thirsty decision making.
babykiller
2024-08-28 18:17:30 +0000 UTC
