Just A Bit Of Mayhem: Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Illya wasn’t exactly looking for her adopted brother and the Matou ‘heir’ when she went out for a walk, but it was quite the welcomed surprise. It certainly saved her the trouble of having to find the two, but it was far too early. She didn’t even have a plan yet!

Leaning against her servant’s head, she hummed, eyeing the two as she quirked her lips. It would honestly be easier if she just grabbed the two and worried about the consequences later, but she wasn’t so sure about Sakura. Kidnapping Shirou was simple, the girl? Not so much especially with that thing inside her generous chest.

She must have been staring a bit too much as the girl reached up to cover her chest and took a step back. Well, it’s not her fault she couldn’t stop herself from ogling them with how big and bountiful they were! Also no, she wasn’t jealous… maybe just a little.

As both parties stared at each other, it would be Shirou that broke the awkward silence. “I beg your pardon?” Said the boy as he tilted his head, “I think you must have mistaken me for someone else.” Flashing them a smile, he explained, “My father didn’t have a wife… or at least as far as I know of.”

Ah yes, that was right. Her father didn’t tell him about her? Squashing down the involuntary indignation that bubbled up her chest, she grinned back, “No, I’m pretty sure you’re my estranged little brother~”

There was no mistaking it. This was her tiny brother alright. Who else had red hair and utterly lacked any sense of danger. Only this dumbass would offer to help a stranger like her. Heck, even Sakura looked a bit tense as she took a step closer to the boy that was all too oblivious of the nature of herself and her servant.

Chuckling, the boy pointed out. “You’re a little too young to be my older sister.”

“Oh believe me,” She replied as she grinned from ear to ear, “I’m far older than I look, Shirou-kun~”

Now that certainly grabbed those two’s attention. A stranger who suddenly greeted them knew their name. “S-senpai, I’m not sure that’s a great idea” She whispered, eyeing the two of them warily, “They don’t look too friendly…”

“Now, now,” Illya chuckled, “Is that how you should treat your future sister in law?” Oh it was simply far too amusing watching the two turn from wary to sputtering in embarrassment.

“Hey, wait a minute!” Shirou choked out as he waved his hands in front of him. “Sakura’s just a friend of mine!” He clarified, not noticing how the girl’s shoulder sag behind her. Rubbing the back of his head, he mumbled, “But in all seriousness, who are you two and how did you know my name?”

Slapping her forehead, Illya quickly apologized, “Oh right, I forgot to tell you that.” She might have gotten a bit too excited meeting the future hero of justice. As she cleared her throat, she flashed them a smile, “Now before I forget, let me introduce myself.”

“My name is Illya von Einzbern, daughter of Irisviel von Einzbern” She said to the boy, “And I’m Kiritsugi Emiya’s estranged biological daughter. Pleased to meet you!~” Clapping his hands together to snap the two out of their stupor, she grinned, “So! Think you can show your big sister around?”

-x-x-x-

Shirou was just too good for this world. Not only did he invite Illya and Atalanta over to his home, but he was now preparing them a meal. Now she feels like an asshole teasing the two earlier. Rubbing the back of her head, she apologized, “I’m really about earlier.”

She might have gotten a bit too carried away with the villainous persona, something which the purple haired girl hadn’t quite forgiven as she glared behind her cup.

Serving Illya and Atalanta some tea, he replied, “No, it’s fine. What’s a bit of teasing between two siblings?” The boy was just far too trusting in Illya’s eyes. It was almost endearing if not how dangerous that trait was in this world.

“Speaking of siblings, I’m still surprised that my father had a family…” Eyes trailing to the pictures in the wall, he mused, “I wonder why he didn’t tell me about you?”

“It’s not without reason,” Illya replied as she took her time to savor the wonderfully floral scent of her tea, before she grimaced, “All you need to know is my mother's side of the family hated your father.” Taking a sip from her cup to drown out the bitter feeling in her chest, she forced herself to smile, “But let’s not talk about that.”

“What’s important is that I finally get to meet you!” She smiled even as the lingering regrets and hate threatened to spill out. Buried as Illya’s original personality was inside her, that part that blamed Shirou for everything still lingered.


Smiling brightly, the boy nodded, “I’m glad to meet you as well Illya-cha, no. Onee-chan.” Illya had to stop herself from squealing at just how saccharinely sweet this boy was. There was no ill thought behind those eyes. No wonder Saber wanted to protect him. He was just too precious.

Getting up to her knees, she threw herself against the boy and held him closely, “Oh come here you! Give your older sister a hug!” As the boy protested at her affection, the other occupant cleared her throat.

“Senpai,” She called, eyes narrowed as she glared at Illya, “I don’t mean to be rude, but are we sure she’s really your older sister?” As Illya pouted back, she continued, “For all we know, she’s merely trying to take advantage of you…”

Slowly, Shirou sat Illya down as he sighed, “Sakura, please don’t be rude to our guests.” Patting Illya in the head, he smiled once more, “Even if she isn’t, she’s still a child that needs my help.”

“Not a little kid,” She muttered, “And didn’t you already call me Onee-chan?!” Was the boy just merely playing with her feelings here? The fiend! He should be punished by making him her steed! That should teach him.

As she tried to clamber up the boy, Atlanta pointed out with an amused smile on her lips, “You are quite tiny for your age, mistress.”

Now it was the Servant’s turn to feel Illya’s wrath as the girl walked over and plopped herself on the girl's lap, one that the Greek servant was quick to rebuff as she started petting her. “Is it a medical condition?” Shirou asked.

“You can say that,” Illya replied as she stretched out, satisfied by the peace offering given to her. Turning her attention back to Sakura, she continued, “Going back on topic, Sakura does have a point. It is kinda weird that a stranger claiming to be the true child of your father.” No matter how she framed it, she does come off suspicious.

Staring at the girl's eye, she told her, “But believe me. I have no ill intentions towards my little brother.” He was not her enemy, but was this girl her enemy?

Gaze hardening, the girl asked, “Then why are you here?”


“Can’t a big sister meet her younger brother and reconnect with him?” Fired back as a smirk stretched across her lips.

As Sakura opened her mouth to answer, a whistle interrupted their discussion. “Oh! Dinners ready,” Shirou piped up as he got up and excused himself, “Let me just get that for you.”

Seeing the uneasy look Sakura gave Archer, Illya sighed. “Hey Archer, can you help Shirou?” She smiled.

Atalanta would give her a questioning look, but the servant immediately understood why. Standing up, she followed the boy to the kitchen. “Hey Shirou-san, let me help you there.”

Shirou was quick to rebuff the offer, but he quickly folded as Atalanta insisted, finally leaving Illya and Sakura to talk. “Atalanta should keep him busy for a bit,” Illya grinned as she laid her chin against the table, “We'll have plenty of time to talk, so feel free to ask what you want.”

The girl was simply uneasy around her and that was understandable. She was a magus just like her grandfather. Who wouldn't be wary of creatures like her? “Oh before we talk, is anyone listening… like say your grandfather?”

“He… doesn't know what I always do,” She answered, her face twisted to that of a grimace. “We're safe to talk.”

“Good enough,” Illya shrugged, “So what do you want to know?”

Glancing over to the kitchen, the girl asked, “If you wanted to reconnect with your brother, why only now?” Glaring at her, she hissed, “And why did Kiritsugi-san never mention you to Shirou even once?”

Meeting his gaze, Illya answered, “It's because I am my father's greatest failure.” With Sakura faltering, she continued.

“My family hated him for losing the war so they kept me from him,” She explained as she took a sip from her cup, “They tried for ten long years to poison my mind, to make me believe that my father abandoned me and soon enough, that it was my adoptive brother that caused all my suffering.”

“They would never let me near him to let me know for myself,” She hissed, hands clenching on the cup before she caught herself. With shaky hands, she placed it down as she forced herself to smile, “Thankfully, I knew what they wanted all along.”

It was a lie, a beautiful lie. The Illya before she woke up would never once meet her father after the war. Now she lived on not just for herself, but to satisfy the grudge she had inherited. She lived to continue Illya’s dream even if there would be no happily ever after. She was going to live despite being fated to die and she was going to be the happiest girl in this world or beyond.

“I had to bide my time before I was finally free,” She laughed, “And it only took me ten years of following their every wish.” And she hated every second of it.

“I-I'm sorry,” Sakura replied as she averted her gaze, “I didn't know.”

“It's fine,” Illya laughed, “Let bygones be bygones.” What was ten years to her future? Sitting back up and resting her chin against her hand, she pointed out, “But you were right to be worried. I do have plans for Shirou involving the war.” It was simply an unavoidable part of the war. “Speaking off, have you received your command seal yet?”

Eye widening, the girl hissed, "Don't drag him into this, he’s not your toy.”

“Oh please, I'm not going to hurt him,” Illya scoffed, offended by her fears. Was she really going to explain it over and over again? “My plans involved pushing him out of harm's way,” She assured him.

“Then why involve him at all?” Sakura asked warily, “Why do you talk as if he would get involved in the war?”

Illya smiled wryly as she replied, “It's because the Grail is always looking for those with strong wishes.” Leaning, she asked, “Do you think it cared when it grabbed the master of Caster?” The Grail simply wanted bodies to throw into this war, nothing more. “And you think a boy who survived the previous war has wishes of his own?”

Eyes wide in horror, the girl glanced at the back of her palm, “I have to fight him…”

“You don't have to,” Illya replied, “Not if you help me here.” Smiling conspiratorially, she asked, “What if the war were to end before it even began.”

Pausing, the girl gave her a questioning look, “What are you suggesting?”

“I'm just saying that I know a lot about the possible masters of this war and the servants that could enter,” Illya answered enigmatically.

“How do I know I could trust you?” She asked.

“You don't,” Illya replied, “This is merely an alliance of convenience.” Nothing more, nothing less. She had her goals and she had hers, it's just some of those goals aligned. “What I can promise you is that the old man dies in the end.”

For a moment, Sakura stayed silent before she let out a defeated sigh, “At this point, what do I have to lose?”

“You can lose Shirou-chan?” Illya cheekily replied, making Sakura chuckle sardonically.

“I guess you're right,” Sakura replied as she glanced down on her lap.

With her gaze lightening, Illya offered her pinkie, “Don't worry though, I promise I'll keep my little brother safe.” With a smile lighting up her face, she added, “I'll even make it a pinkie promise!”

“Are you a child?” Sakura asked as soft chuckle escaped her lips.

“Are you going to take it or not?” Illya asked as she quirked her lips, “It's a limited time offer you know? The next offer would be a geas.”

“I suppose this is better then,” Sakura replied as she reached up and took the offered pinkie.

Grinning, Illya chanted, “Pinky swear, whoever lies will be made to swallow a thousand needles!” Winking, the girl added, “And don't think I wouldn’t be able to find a thousand needles. I could just make more!”

Shoulder finally easing, the girl replied, “You know, you're not as bad as I thought you'd be.”

“And sorry for starting off on the wrong foot,” Illya apologized once more, “Wanna start over?”

Nodding, Sakura replied, “I wouldn’t mind.”

“Then let me reintroduce myself,” Illya grinned as she offered her a hand, “My name is Illya, master of Archer.”

“Sakura,” The Matou girl replied, “Just… Sakura.”

A/N:

Typing this on my phone is a pain. Moving on to Somewhere over the Rainbow then winner. Might get delayed a bit cause still at funeral. Sorry