emilyEW

Soon to be over...

Added 2023-10-24 04:29:27 +0000 UTC

It might be another tenth-message from Patreon saying "Hey! We don't actually DO adult content; we just pretend to. And if you try to do any actual ADULT CONTENT, we are going to make it REALLY hard for you."

And so they need ALL the same paperwork that you need to become a citizen of most countries: social security number, birth certificate, mortgage statement, lease or rent agreement (no shit!)

But the best bit: Section C: 'Send us a selfie holding ONE item from this list..."

It's almost a hostage situation now?

"How about holding a newspaper, with today's date prominently visible and sending you my pinkie in a box?"

But the final clincher is that I have to send all this to Jumio, who have a TrustPilot rating of 1.4. And reading the TrustPilot reviews, the 1.4 is down to two Jumio's rented sock puppets because everyone gave it straight 1 star. It really is funny to look at it.

https://uk.trustpilot.com/review/jumio.com

So, no. Sorry. It was lovely to have such an appreciative audience; it was like being up there at the old Fat Cirque du Soleil; but fuck it. I ain't doing this above circus with Patreon's trustworthy 1.4 stars Absolutely Positively Safe And Secure (We Swear On Your Pinkie In The Box) Scummy Corporation.

This page will shortly grind to a halt, as Patreon is telling me again (for the umpteenth time) and I can't see any way around it.

You are my favorite people, and I love you all very much indeed.

So long! Remember me.