emilyEW

Soon to be over...

It might be another tenth-message from Patreon saying "Hey! We don't actually DO adult content; we just pretend to. And if you try to do any actual ADULT CONTENT, we are going to make it REALLY hard for you."

And so they need ALL the same paperwork that you need to become a citizen of most countries: social security number, birth certificate, mortgage statement, lease or rent agreement (no shit!)

But the best bit: Section C: 'Send us a selfie holding ONE item from this list..." 2023-10-24 04:29:27 +0000 UTC View Post

Sainte-Isabelle Chapter 4

"No, you can't slow it down, or anything. It just pauses, with this little button thingy, only your finger gets sore. Anyway, you have to use it up. You can't get away from that fact," Emma said, lying on her bed, propped against the pillows, huffing and gripping her swollen belly. Her two friends perched themselves on chairs by her bedside, watching anxiously. One of them with hopeful excitement. The other with abject horror.

"I mean, it goes all right, really. Once I got going, it was...

Sainte-Isabelle (Ch: 1, 2, 3)

I wrote this story up as an idea on Dimensions forum ages ago. The trouble with posting stories there, of course, is that I only found out afterward that they lock them and you can't change them once they are written. Grrrr! That's not how I work.
And to cap it all, they threw me off and told me I had to join up and become a paid member before I could post any more chapters. Hmph!

But anyway ... I wanted to put a bit of a 'British-y' facelift on it, but couldn't at the time. So here ...

Emily, the clever maid

Taking a Break and Embracing Freedom

... or how I hit the pause billing button.

"I'm not sure how well that will go down," said Eager Emily. She read through the post again. "Sounds like a title for a French film."

"What do you suggest?" asked Tired Emily.

She thought for a while. "How about... 'My life is on the pause'? Or maybe..." she looked up at Tired Emily, her eyes sparkling "I'm on hold with my life?"

"No, too grandiose. And anyway, I don't want people thinking I've got a big head just because I w...

WIP story (updated) -CH: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

So, here's the thing—I've come to a rather eye-

Angela's farm, Chapter 10

Ding.
Ding.
Ding. 

With great effort, Olivia found her phone on the bedside table. After several failed attempts, she finally opened her eyes and focused on the screen. It was a message from Hannah. She appeared to have sent her some grocery list.: half a pound of bacon, half a pound of ham, half a dozen eggs, and half a loaf of bread.

"Cooking dinner for half a family?" Olivia typed, making a wild guess.

As if on cue, the video chat opened, and Hannah's face fil...

College Graduate Finds Huge Success inside a Mukbang Booth

It's no secret that the economy has changed the way we think about employment. With traditional jobs becoming increasingly scarce due to automation, more and more people are turning to alternative career paths.

Meet Jordan, a 23-year-old college graduate who was struggling to find work in her field as a graphic designer. Desperate for a job, she stumbled upon an advertisement for a new type of employment - as a star in a mukbang booth.

For those few who are perhaps unfamiliar with...

Museum visit

From the Museum guide: 

Demeter reigned supreme as the Goddess of Harvest, Fertility and Food. Resplendent in her luscious curves, she was the embodiment of abundance and prosperity.
Her smile could turn the most barren of lands into fertile paradises, overflowing with plump fruits and succulent grains.

Demeter's touch would make rivers run thick with liquid gold, nourishing the world with her generosity. In this bountiful realm, the people would hold grand fea...

Entering the world of toy design

From the news article:
Emily E.W., a self-proclaimed cake enthusiast, plunged into the realm of toy design with a groundbreaking vision: to create Barbies that genuinely reflected contemporary human proportions. Drawing inspiration from her own delightfully unique physique, she embarked on a mission to develop the "My Real Barbie"™ collection.

Boasting distinctive features such as generously-sized proportions,  snug-fitting clothes, and a variety of charming double chins,...

When in Japan...

Having tremendous time over here.

The first step in blending in...

Cheers from (currently rainy) Japan.

It's Ichigo (strawberry) season, when sakura blooms and certain, unnamed people stuff their faces with strawberry cakes. 

Economy Travel

The Lunar corporation sent me to Japan, where I'm typing this from my bed in a tiny, bite-size apartment. Something plays a music down on the street - probably a garbage truck, because in Japan everything HAS to play something or talk to you or preferably both. I've spent more time here than I care to admit (2nd time this year) for many weeks at a time. (And yet the only Japanese word I know is ケーキ (Kēki) which stands for a cake.)

Believe it or not, Japan is the best place for fo...

Angela's farm, Chapter 9

They left the creamery and headed back to the kitchen. The night was dark and humid. Right in front of them, the lights of the main house flickered like two fireflies, and at a distance, some animal made its eerie night noise.

Olivia shivered. She was an easy prey. Forget running; tonight, she had serious issues walking. She had really pushed herself with the second batch. Hannah just kept going and going like a broken clock, and Olivia, of course, didn't want to appear weak. After all,...

Emily is packing

Pack your bags, folks! It's that time of the year again when Emily turns into a jet-setting globetrotter, leaving a trail of confused airport security guards and empty duty-free shops in her wake. Yes, you heard it right, she's back at it again, with her unquenchable thirst for adventure, a heart full of wanderlust, suitcases full of snacks and questionable fashion choices. So, fasten your seat belts, secure your overhead bins, and join Emily on her latest escapades across the world!

If...

The moon colonies are expanding...

In the ten years since the LunaTic Corporation's Moon Base opened, one aspect of life on the lunar surface has gained increasing popularity: the so-called Plumper Pods. (The official name is Gravity Orbital Offset System Equipment or GOOSE)

These small, comfortable rooms where residents can rapidly gain weight to counteract the effects of low gravity have become an essential part of the Lunar experience.

Initially met with skepticism, the Plumper Pods were questioned for their eff...

It's movie time!

Angela's farm, Chapter 8

"I told you it's like a cloning experiment that worked too well," Sarah said, nudging Olivia with her elbow.

Alyssa Sanders was a big girl. She seemed even larger than Jenna. Her massive belly slapped against her pink leggings, and her plump arms spilled out of her white shirt's sleeves. She looked more like Jenna's twin than her best friend.

"But I don't think the crayons we brought will be of much use," Olivia said with disappointment as she looked at Alyssa's cousin. The "littl...

It's All Medieval to Me

Hark! Beholdeth, yet another glorious image, upon which I hath toiled and striven to elevate its minutiae and particulars to heights unfathomable.

Angela's Farm, Chapter 7

Olivia slowly opened one eye.
"What the hell happened?" she groaned, but her voice sounded more like an angry bear speaking Dutch than her usual chirpy self. As she tried to sit up, a wave of nausea hit her like a freight train. This was the worst hangover she's ever had. Her mouth felt as dry as a butter stick wrapper.

"I'm not an expert, but I think we all got shit-faced," Sarah said from somewhere to Olivia's left.

Olivia tried to open her other eye, slowly, as any sudden mo...

A letter to Your Most Gracious Majesty

Your Most Gracious Majesty.

With the utmost humility, I beg to convey that the bestowal of copious food to your illustrious female guards has yielded only a modicum of success.

Although their vigour and prominence have risen significantly, I must inform Your Majesty with the heaviest of hearts that a significant number of them have already relinquished their swords owing to their incapacity to bend to lift them off the ground, and a large number are on the verge of relinquishing t...

Angela's Farm, Chapter 6

The alarm clock in her head started beeping, and the train stopped. "Dammit," she thought. That's her stupid luck,  just as she was about to enter the ice cream cart. But in a way, it was good news because Olivia was almost certain she had forgotten to pack her swimsuit.

She opened her eyes with a mix of disappointment and relief. No, she wasn't zooming through the countryside on light rail. This place didn't even look like it was in King County at all. None of the cafes she freque...

Article from the not-too-distant future

Gravity-Defying Secret

The LunaTic corporation's Moon Base has been a rousing success, with humans residing and working on the lunar surface for the past five years. One defining aspect of this feat is the physical transformation required for those who call the moon home. 

You have basically two options to counteract the low gravity (to avoid bone and muscle loss as well as numerous other problems): Either keep training your body with resistive exercise, whic...

New Dewey Decimal System

This concept had been sitting on my hard drive for over two months.

I've always wondered what would happen to the books on the lower shelves if the librarian continued to grow bigger and bigger. Now I know. You have to admit that librarians have a certain allure.

In the library, books on shelf
Lived a librarian, proud of herself
She loved to read and loved to eat
Her ass grew each day bit by bit.

As her hips spread, so did her fame
For patrons came, to see her na...

Angela's Farm, Chapter 5

If plates of food were a group of clowns and Olivia's stomach was a Fiat 500, it would have been a perfect setup for a visual gag. Instead, it was just called lunch.

It was a rerun of the breakfast but this time on a superior scale. No matter how much Olivia tried, she couldn't figure out what number goes after octuplets. 

It all began quite calmly with a plate of meatballs swimming in a bucket of red sauce with a loaf of bread on the side. She devoured the whole thing in abo...

True Emergency

Emily's college diary - Freshman Year 6/6

A short series based on a "found diary".

Emily's college diary - Freshman Year 5/6

A short series based on a "found diary".

Emily's college diary - Freshman Year 4/6

A short series based on a "found diary".

Emily's college diary - Freshman Year 3/6

A short series based on a "found diary".