Heretic Spellblade 7 Feedback
Added 2023-12-17 23:28:13 +0000 UTCVery different post to usual.
Basically, I want feedback on the first few chapters I've posted. My worry is that they're not hitting the mark and this is like Spellblade 6 and I need to scrap them and start again, but I don't know what the issue actually is. Given how many people badgered me about Astra toward the end of Book 6, I figured I'd see some commentary on the recent chapter for instance. It felt like people expected something different after Artemis showed up. And it's not a discord thing, as there was little discussion there either.
It's possible this is just me overreacting. I'm having difficulty really getting going with Spellblade 7 for a variety of reasons and the rough start to Spellblade 6 still lingers.
Anyway, I'd appreciate thoughts on the chapters so far and whether you think I do need to rework them or start again with a different focus.
Comments
I agree about Astra. To me, that came out of nowhere and doesn't feel right. That being said, most of the time, I'm surprised by comments like "...I hinted in previous books about ". Most likely I'm not smart enough to pick on those hints. In this case, I don't recall any hints about Astra being so insecure (probably the wrong word here) that she is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Artemis is super strange to me, I don't get the point of her at all. Most likely the point of her is one of those subtle hints (???) that I totally missed. Feels that Nathan got too powerful so somebody has to show up that is more powerful and honestly fracking weird as hell. Every time (to me) when Artemis shows up I kind of want to skip that part....she is going to show up, kick everybody's ass, Nathan is going to do some weird stuff to get her to leave....and than we go back to regular scheduled program. If Artemis dies in the next chapter, to me, that wouldn't change anything at all
Alin Simionoiu
2023-12-19 17:34:02 +0000 UTCI've been enjoying the chapters and the pacing so far. You've kept things moving without rushing and the story progresses on multiple fronts without feeling disjointed. I think the Artemis fight was a good way to kick off the book, get things rolling. I've enjoyed the order of things so far. The conversations have all been very engaging, I enjoyed the realizations Nathan has when he's talking to Gareth and Astra about him being whats changed in the world and the ripple effects that has had. The talk with Tarako and her offer to sleep in his room for his safety was funny. I think the concern the twins show regarding Kadria is warranted and I'm interested to see how that goes. I always enjoy the lore when it is given as its like learning secrets about the world we're in. It never feels like a waste to me. I am looking forward to seeing our favorite catgirl at some point and to Nathan's claiming of Tarako at some point
Lauryn Niedzielski
2023-12-18 23:41:48 +0000 UTCNeed to reread these again to give a good response on the starting pace, but I did feel the Astra thing came without much warning. Mind you, I did like how this showed Astra as a character. And this lack of warning is something I might have missed, or been hinted at previous books. If previous books, add a line to remind readers. And I hope this isn’t something that just goes away immediately. I feel it’s unrealistic for characters to have a major crisis of faith and then it just gets solved with a single conversation from the main character.
Shakepshere
2023-12-18 13:42:17 +0000 UTCKinda felt like Artemis was repeatedly about to switch sides, then the reason she gave for not doing that was "You are a bastion, im a messenger" while knowing full well he was working with multiple messengers. Felt a bit weird. Not sure if im missing something or its just me being strange.
Nyye
2023-12-18 06:06:13 +0000 UTCAs we are getting into the last 3 books most chapters should be explosive and draw you in while explaining things that need wrapped up. There's been no issues so far, and you were able to add/expand upon a mystery that'll pay off later. No need to slow it down if you don't have to.
Logan Carl
2023-12-18 03:44:51 +0000 UTCI feel like a lot of big things have been happening quickly, and I’m waiting to see where they go.
deadeyemax
2023-12-18 03:26:16 +0000 UTCIt's been good and punchy so far.
John Smith
2023-12-18 03:05:06 +0000 UTCI enjoyed the chapters but I think the lore chapter can come later. I love the Artemis section and I think you should start with that, roll to Astra, have him talk with Gareth then blaze to the confrontation of Otto. The lore can be after that. Similar to how you started book 6 with all the action then slowing down.
John Ramirez
2023-12-18 00:41:51 +0000 UTCI love everything so far. When Maura said "Be careful. If she destabilizes, this might be what turns her into a Messenger" I got chills. I had a completely different theory that revolved around Astra getting picked up just before the explosion in Nathan's original timeline/world. This single line however has massive implications, because what if the boss, or more likely the partner has been this far ahead of Nathan and Kadria. As for the engagement, I'm not someone who usually does it, it tends to slip my mind. But after reading what you have posted with your concerns on here and Patreon, I am at least trying to remember to like your posts.
Luke Duncan
2023-12-18 00:38:00 +0000 UTCI’ve enjoyed the start thus far, and the unusual events are something I simply felt would be further explained as the story continued. Like how Artemis made it into the castle so deeply when subtlety isn’t her style. With Astra, her sudden verbal outburst was a surprise which I’m guessing was the point. I was expecting her to struggle to express it a bit more but I like her development. I feel this could have been placed after a more direct failure bit overall I love the story regardless of it stays the same.
Ryokukora
2023-12-18 00:28:30 +0000 UTCPacing is great so far having Artemis show up get the ball rolling was a solid choice. More development with what Nathan can do and what he is becoming right at the beginning I'm totally a fan of.
sweetbrother
2023-12-18 00:20:07 +0000 UTCI like that Astra is showing she is not as tough as she has presented herself. So far I have no complaints This series has lots of information in each chapter. Things seem to be moving along alright Now if I had anything to complain about and I'm not complaining it's Nathan isn't human so much anymore but seems to be like a messenger but doesn't understand his own power or what he is becoming It seems others have an idea but no one really wants to talk about it. Like to see Kadria interact more with everyone. It's almost like Nathan and his champions and messengers need to set down and discuss everything and put everything on the table so to speak. Just my two cents worth. But love this series and the complexity of this story.
Ash Goetz
2023-12-18 00:09:50 +0000 UTCI'm enjoying everything so far. Right now just a long for the ride: Face full of popcorn, watching with rapt attention. Artemis trying to abduct Nathan early on was a great attention grabber. It's promising that we are hitting the ground running, suggests a packed book. Early action, new power, harem drama, Astra development are all good and needed things and ARE promising. I don't necessarily think that crickets are an inherently bad sign. If being one of Bruce Sentar patrons during the early release chapters of Ard's Oath 1 has taught me anything, it's that people WILL tell you if something is going wrong. People are always more vocal when things are going wrong than when things are good. If you're worried that things are "meh" I personally don't think that is the case.
Raven3ye
2023-12-18 00:06:57 +0000 UTCI mean they kind of do. It sets up a possibility that Nathan will try to shift worlds and shows his power is growing well beyond messenger levels. Also shows his defenses need improvements. Plus gives us more and artemis and a greater certinity that she will switvh sides, just needs nathan stronger and to fully know she is "her nathan", cause she will only have one shot at it. That's just my opinion though oh that.
Bob Bryan
2023-12-18 00:02:37 +0000 UTCIt seems fine so far to me, I don't think a drastic rework is needed unless you think this start is going to cause problems later. As others have mentioned there is a lot going on in a short amount of time. The Kadria scene, while important, may feel like it throws things off because, in arknights terms, she is your kalstit. Everything related to her is complicated, layered, and comes with plenty of exposition. I think what you have works but that's the biggest divergence in plot I can think of.
Paul Matson
2023-12-18 00:01:33 +0000 UTCHonestly like everything so far. Hits at Artemis wanting to be with Nathan but needing to see if he is strong enough/ her Nathan. Glad we are finally getting back to astra and everything she had to deal with/ all the Revelations that her friend wasn't ever really her friend and merely used her. Probably intentionally making bad blood between her and tarako, Probably butchered her name. Honestly I want more.
Bob Bryan
2023-12-17 23:58:52 +0000 UTCI think it will be interesting to see how Astra gets her confidence back.. either by full on joining Nathan’s harem or just being her badass self in combat..
Oscar Leon Robbins
2023-12-17 23:58:39 +0000 UTCI haven’t really commented lately because I am just kind of enjoying the ride to be honest
LawBear2005
2023-12-17 23:42:06 +0000 UTCThere’s definitely a lot happening, first Gareth saying that Otto is a traitor, then Artemis breaking in and Nathen’s multiverse sight, and Astra having a bit of a breakdown. And it’s only chapter 4, what’s odd is that it doesn’t feel rushed at least to me, it’s just a lot.
CinnamonHawk263
2023-12-17 23:40:29 +0000 UTCI think everything is fine as a whole. I just wished we had even more time with each character, as every time a scene ends I wish it had gone on. I never get tired of the dialog in these books of yours.
BlueGraine
2023-12-17 23:40:23 +0000 UTCHmmm. I loved the astra chapter I really think her bit hit the mark. Her growing sense of insecurity in the world she lives in, no longer THe powerhouse she was, and her failing in every timeline to save her people. I need to re read the first couple of chapters. One ended abruptly and it felt off. Will do that.
Direwolf1618
2023-12-17 23:38:45 +0000 UTCThe chapters feel both fast and slow. It's not bad but I get the concern. The Artemis section is good but then we slow down for a lore dump and the plot starts to meander. We don't really have good plot momentum. Like the Artemis fight reveals information but doesn't have consequences that need to be dealt with moving forward
CrookedShepherd
2023-12-17 23:38:16 +0000 UTCI'm enjoying the HS 7 chapters. I'm mostly just waiting to see where this book goes. They're r things I wish to see like Kadria interacting with the main cast and Nathan rise to godhood.
Rogue
2023-12-17 23:36:55 +0000 UTC
