Demon's Throne 2 - Detailed Commentary

Demon’s Throne 2 is out and I hope people are enjoying it or have enjoyed it.

This post will include broad commentary on Demon’s Throne 2. As such, it is loaded with massive spoilers. If you haven’t read the entire book, come back later. This post will be waiting for you.

Before I jump into things, I’ll briefly mention a couple of things. First, I’ll be minimizing discussion of the writing process of the book – this is actually a change in all future Patreon posts, and one I’ll talk about shortly as part of a change to the Patreon. Second, if I feel a topic is sensitive, I’m probably going to skip over it without comment.

Act 1 Commentary

Act 1 comprises up to roughly Chapter 14. Its primary purpose is to establish the enemies of the novel (the Malus League and Avolar), introduce a very important new character (Mina), follow-up on some plot threads from Book 1, and do a ton of setup that got cut from Book 1.

Oh, and its vitally important that Fara joins the harem. Finally, to make things more complicated, Rys is still capped out in terms of progression until the end of Act 1.

I’ll talk about Mina in detail later. Suffice it to say that she gets a fair bit of time really early on, and is a bit bratty. There are like 5 solid chapters of her. Pacing-wise, I intended to move parts of her scenes around, but due to all the moving parts of this act, stuff just started breaking (there are Mina references in Fara’s hot spring scene, you’ll notice).

The other noticeable element here is the sheer amount of worldbuilding. Book 1 already had a ton of worldbuilding, so I actually cut a lot of names and stuff that wasn’t relevant. For instance, the Darus world history scene was in Book 1 initially. Even Book 2 has cut content (such as explanations about Azrael’s agents, Sylvian and Saareg, who will likely never appear in the series). I try to keep the infodumps relevant to what is happening, and I probably should have left in stuff on Duar in Book 1. Ah well.

The flip side is that this leads to some overcompensating. The Fall of Ruathym has its own section of commentary, but it’s a dense and short set of chapters. The stuff on the Empire’s experiments relates to Fara’s character arc; Rys’s history with the angels is important to his mystery; his conversation with Duar is important to understanding Rys and why he is the sort of ruler he is; Kauros is repeatedly brought up.

In short, there is a lot of necessary stuff dumped within a few short chapters. There is no real combat in Ruathym because there is no way for anything down there to progress the plot or matter in any way.

Finally, travelling to Gorgria using the Labyrinth is vitally important to the overarching plot of Books 2 and 3. It sets up a lot of stuff, including a major payoff in Act 3.

Act 2 Commentary

Act 2 comprises between Chapters 15 to 34. This act has the fairly functional purpose of doing lots of empire building, character development, and beginning the sorta-war against the Malus League.

I’ll talk about the Vallis PoV chapter later, so let’s skip past that for now.

When it comes to Castle Aion/the palace (I really should have Rys give it his own name), Rys didn’t do much this book. He expanded his construction radius but all he did was build a wall. The primary reason for this was that there was already enough going on that I didn’t want to get bogged down on construction and renovation.

Also, the start of Book 3 will basically be the ‘time skip’ period where Rys finally builds a real palace, instead of his glorified office building. So there’ll be plenty of paragraphs to dedicate to that sort of thing, for those who enjoy it.

However, the slates and seal unlock did grant Rys a much-needed summoning boost. This plays into a major part of the rest of the book, namely the constant behind-the-scenes battles of the intelligence networks.

Seeing the story through Rys’s shoes is intended to be somewhat similar to that of a 4X game – you don’t see the spies and assassins at work, but they are vitally important. Rys receives constant reports and updates from his new spymaster, who makes mistakes, is molded by Rys, and then new actions are taken.

On a writer level, this is an aspect of “show, don’t tell” that is more complicated. Strictly speaking, the dialogue dumps of what is happening is “telling.” Mina and others tell the reader (and Rys), instead of the reader seeing for themselves what is happening outside the palace. On the other hand, I am showing what it’s like to be Rys, a ruler who acts through others. Mina makes a snarky comment during Act 3 toward Sarae about how she’s a spymaster, so of course she’s not going to get her hands dirty. Rys is supposed to represent that idea of power through ruling over others, and having them do what you want them to do.

The Haunts and succubi themselves are an interesting bunch. They represent the first appearance of infernals that are acting in their own interests, instead of summons that are truly loyal to Rys.

Leth is sold as a much older and more dangerous devil than even Rys expected, and is interested in the Empire’s positions of spymasters and manipulators (which the Pharoah and Rys largely controlled). The image of shapeshifting men in Victorian-era suits is an overdone one these days, but I still like it – it’s become a popular trope for good reason (especially in relation to Lovecraftian stuff, which the Haunts are a reference to).

By contrast, Hyrie is far simpler. She wants Mina’s job. There are two occasions in the story where it’s implied, but not confirmed, that succubi are involved with undermining Rys. Some people might wonder why he doesn’t step in and squash them, but he’s already commented on that in the past. Mina needs the training to deal with subordinates trying to undermine her, and Rys already expects infernals to undermine him. Although I realize I may not have openly explained why demons and common devils make up the bulk of his army.

Character development-wise, Fara plays keep away regarding the havoc fox stuff. This may have frustrated some people, but it is a consistent part of her characterization. By contrast, Alsia is up-front about wanting a child, even when she can barely keep a straight face around the lewd jokes of the other women in the palace.

The Battle of Lapisloch has an almost comical amount of buildup for a battle that resolves so swiftly. Part of that is because I want the focus of the series to be on the empire building, and the action punctuates the results of that. But it’s also because Avolar wasn’t the true threat – Vallis even jokes at one point that Grigor could win the war by himself (if the League weren’t present).

As an enemy, Avolar suffers from being “faceless.” The general of the battle is introduced a couple thousand words before he’s murdered by Grigor for getting in the way of the real fight. The only VIP whose name we learn is the puppet duke controlled by Hyrie. I considered rectifying these issues during editing (e.g. introducing Myrne earlier, maybe turning the Kinadain gathering in Act 2 into a political conference between nations), but kept them in place.

The reason is that Avolar are basically mooks. They are the cat’s paw of almost everybody else. The Malus League manipulated them in an attempt to get access to money, and have a backup plan to control the island. The Gold Clan used them for whatever their weird scheme is. There’s the weird stuff going on with the Kinadain’s Circle of Brethren. Basically, Avolar became a puppet of everyone, in large part because they opposed Rys’s rise to power. It felt fitting to avoid putting faces to such a powerless faction.

Finally, the League’s intervention ups the level of magic and power involved. Rys pulls out one of his big guns. The League demonstrates they have the strength to fight demon princes. Their mages can slay and banish large amounts of demons in battle. It’s a sharp change from Book 1, where the death of a single demon was a big deal.

Act 3 Commentary

Chapters 35 through to the ending. This wraps up Avolar and a few plot points, sets things up to allow for a time skip next book, and has a neat climax.

The Fara and Mina scene was an impromptu one. Originally, I had two different sex scenes during Act 3. A double blowjob with Alsia and Maria, and Vallis’s first time. I pushed Vallis back a book after reviewing her character arc, because I felt she wouldn’t have increased in confidence that much after her earlier discussion. This scene took the place of Alsia and Maria’s one. It also helps show Mina’s changes, as she continues to become weirder over the course of the book.

Orthrus barely appears in this book. Rys’s discussion with him about not ignoring him is almost meta-commentary. The reality is that the Labyrinth isn’t important right now. It might have been, but I cut a couple of major developments that originally took place during this book. How I reintroduce them is something I need to work out, as they have the potential to be huge distractions from the major plot – Book 4 is where I have them penciled back in.

Also, I love the idea of quantum entanglement being a thing that is understandable in a magical/medieval world. Rys talks about magic as a science – energy, physics, planar theory etc. Hence the few paragraphs of Rys going “this was a big deal once, and it already existed.”

The Sarae mystery was one that I suspect many people puzzled out. I considered leaving out most of Rys’s observations on her suspicious behavior when he first met her, but it can be rather weird when characters don’t note this sort of thing in their thoughts. The reader doesn’t have Rys’s expertise, and likely aren’t as embedded into the book. On the other hand, the stakes are low, so maybe it should be more of a bonus if people notice stuff like Sarae being able to detect infernals and recognize Rys’s infernal sorcery when Mina couldn’t.

If there’s one problem I have with the “assassinate Maliah” plot, it’s how the Grishaw sequence plays out. On the one hand, I feel I did a decent job of making Maliah appear powerful. On the other, his ability to summon Grishaw is unexplained, and referenced only by an off-hand comment nearly 30 chapters earlier (although it is also hinted at when everybody freaks out over Varian, Grishaw’s summoner).

The flipside is that it leads into the surprise ending, especially for people following along using the source material (who got quite a few surprises, given stuff that wasn’t on Patreon, like Sarae). Book 3 won’t just be “Rys takes on Grishaw and Maliah”. Darus is now a real villain, instead of the bogeyman. Varian and Maliah are taking on true roles.

If I was to drop a hint, I would say that there’s a reason Ariel is on the cover of Book 3 (and my Patreon banner).

The Fall of Ruathym

The set piece that ends Act 1 and an event that is mentioned fairly often, given how it basically reshaped the entire world. You don’t need to think very hard to see the comparisons between the Infernal Empire and the historical Roman Empire – there’s even an east and west, although the infernal versions were in a near-constant state of civil war.

Now that Rys has shattered both a major and minor seal (the terms I use for Rys’s direct seal and Orthrus’s seal, the latter of which also sealing away Rys’s memories), I can bring up the general mechanics of how they’re solved.

All seals are protected in the Labyrinth from random intruders by some means. In both cases so far, these have been runic puzzles that Rys has solved.

Minor seals are then protected by additional exterior defenses, based on both Rys’s memories (the rebellion of the dwarves of the Turranem Mountains, which took place during the angelic purges) and some sort of specialized defense that Rys suspects is more of a test than a true defense (the shadow angel who countered spiritualism and infernal sorcery).

Major seals instead whisk Rys back to a major event of his past. These are exact recreations of what happened in the past, and Orthrus claims they aren’t based on memory. Rys can witness things that he never saw or knew himself. The Labyrinth itself appears to have limits on what it can recreate, however – Duar was so powerful that he broke the recreation. In order to win, Rys must do something that would have changed history irreconcilably if he could have done it in the past.

After, Rys gains his rewards. Minor seals reward Rys some of his lost memories plus a small amount of his lost skills and power. Major seals return a massive amount of Rys’s lost power and skills.

There are three power conduits for each seal. Some of these may be outside of the Labyrinth, given meddling appears to have taken place.

In the Fall of Ruathym, Rys still learned a lot of new things, despite not regaining lost memories. His encounter with Sirion suggested that the angels have been actively interfering with Harrium, but that went awry and eventually only the archangels remained. Azrael continues to mess around.

For confirmation, Sirion is gone. The Angelic Library is a real time-space fuckery of a concept (it’s a database of all knowledge that the angels ever collect, ever – past, present, and future), but Sirion is still a loyal automaton angel. She didn’t alter the future. As Rys openly states, meeting her is something of a poignant moment for him, as he’s been able to pretend that all the people who died while he’s been asleep are just hanging around elsewhere on Harrium. Meeting her and having her say goodbye is different.

Also, yeah, Azrael baiting. There’s not much mystery bait on Rys’s past after the end of Act 1, other than a brief mention of the city of Basette and Rys’s seeming attachment to it.

Finally, Duar chews the scenery. Mixing the flashbacks with the present was a dangerous decision, but it was an attempt to both establish Duar as he’s met (because he’s dead) and to show that the Labyrinth is actively drawing on Rys’s mind here. If you had any doubts that the Labyrinth was directly connected to Rys, they should be dispelled, even if Rys is in denial.

A large part of Duar’s purpose is to humanize Rys, given how often he comes across as almost entirely pragmatic or efficiency-focused, but also to establish the idea of a powerful infernal who acts as Malusian’s Grigor. Duar’s comment about Malusian being his brother, and being willing to martyr himself, will come up later in the series.

Finally, showing the Fall of Ruathym is just a cool scene. The part where Rys appears in the city as everything is on fire, dragons fly around blowing stuff up, and battle rages on around him, is a scene I’ll refer back to in the future. One of the most memorable scenes in books from when I was younger is from the Gaunt’s Ghosts book, Necropolis, when the city comes under artillery fire. I love that sort of stuff, but it’s hard to find reasons to write that sort of chaos.

The Vallis Chapter

I’m absolutely certain that most people saw Vallis’s name at the top of the chapter and immediately knew what was up. I do wonder how many people were surprised at how it played out, perhaps expecting the ambush to be weaker.

There are too many “running through the forest carrying somebody vulnerable” scenes to even know what I was really inspired by. It’s a good scene to allow the tertiary infernals to show off, add some underlying trauma to Vallis, and make you question whether the succubus betrayed Rys or not. The strongest hint you get is Mave’s comment later that Avolar were involved with the original League commander (who Graem took over from), and you find out later that Aochi (Avolar’s spymaster) may have been working with Hyrie the entire time.

Oh, Vallis’s trauma? There are a few reasons I left it underplayed (some editing-related, some not), but it generally fits with Vallis’s characterization. Her introduction involves her joking around with Rys after nearly being raped by the goons he vaporized (although she was scared, as Rys noted in that scene). Vallis is the slowburn harem member, and she has a lot of internal demons to wrangle before she’s willing to let her big bad demon boss make everything better.

Finally, Sarae showing up and saving Vallis instead of Rys was always planned. While she wasn’t named in Book 1, it was explicitly stated that Fara had nieces, plural, and Ariko had two daughters. Plus, Sarae fawning over Rys’s muscles was fun to write.

The Ending

Darling~

Yeah, that was a fun little cliffhanger ending to write. I wanted Darus to be a true villain in this series, instead of a bogeyman. Hence why I needed her to make an appearance in both books, so that people remembered that she exists and what sort of person (people?) she is.

Showing Varian was also important. One of the problems with villains that don’t necessarily attack head-on or move around much is that sometimes it can be hard to show them off. I think Varian’s bizarreness came across in that scene, especially after Graem’s explanation.

Maliah vs Rys

I’m not going to get into whether Maliah is right or wrong. Rys literally points out that it doesn’t matter – you can make up your own mind, noting how little info you have (Graem and Maliah aren’t exactly unbiased).

Originally, Maliah Jyarvic was intended as a fairly obvious villain type on the archipelago. Something that consistently comes up is that the archipelago is in the middle of nowhere, so people can do whatever they want here. A cabal of amoral mages would find themselves right at home, especially as Gauron has a long and storied history of magical politics. Maliah’s name being so blatantly fucking evil is almost a joke, same with the League’s name (and also Maliah’s name being a veiled pun on ‘pariah’).

In the books, I decided to flesh things out. The League’s name is ironic, and Maliah’s cause is spelled out more. I made use of another major setting character (Taren Hand) and tied him into Maliah’s backstory – it makes for a neat story. Maliah grows up poor, in an anti-magic region, but manages to become an apprentice mage in the greatest city in the world, in the greatest mage tower in the world, alongside the man who will become the most prominent mage and political figure in the world. Things go awry, Maliah starts his own mage tower, with blackjack and demonic hookers.

Maliah’s modified body and the tale of human enchantment was something I also tried to tie into the story. Rys doesn’t consider himself human due to his fleshcrafted body that Lacrissa gave him. Maliah is attempting to ascend above humanity in the same way, further making him a foil to Rys.

Rys is pragmatic and focused on power, with his empire-building and support of magical research largely a means to that end. Maliah is idealistic and wants to have a society that matches those ideals, and desires power to achieve that.

Maliah is vengeful. Rys is… also pretty fucking vengeful, if you remember the flashback from Book 1.

This ended up being a fairly fun aspect of the book, once I actually worked it out. Maliah was never intended to be a foil to Rys originally, and it’s something that I want to think more about when I write Book 3.

Also, I am curious what people think of Maliah.

Political Wrangling

This is an aspect that’s cropped up in reviews already and one I was somewhat aware of during writing. There’s a lot of political back-and-forth, and it’s considerably more nuanced than in Heretic Spellblade.

In Heretic, the politicking has two main nexuses: the rising nationalism in the Anfang Empire (and the related beastkin and noble stuff); and the high-powered shadowy network of relations and schemes that the various rulers had, and how it played into the original fall of the Empire. These two aspects intertwine and came to a head at the end of Book 3, which is why Nathan could summarize them halfway through.

But in Demon’s Throne, things are more complicated, rightly or wrongly. There are multiple sources and reasons for political interference, and they’re far from clear. I actually love this sort of stuff, particularly being able to add nuance in situations that are so often distilled down to black and white. It helps that Rys doesn’t need to be right.

Here’s a brief summary of roughly everything that comes up over the course of the book:

· Kinadain tensions over cultural change

· The Federation’s desire to control all demihumans/Kinadain, but preferably through diplomatic means (I probably should have talked more about this at some point, but oh well)

· Whatever the Circle of Brethren is doing

· Fox politics – the Gold Clan is up to something in Pharos, but also appears to dislike Rys for completely unknown reasons. The Garrote Clan (Fara’s and Mina’s clan) might also have problems. Pharos’s Imperial Court is investigating, through Archon Imira, who ahs her own checkered history with the fox Alliance.

· Queen Faeris of Gorgria wants to destroy the Malus League. And maybe marry Rys.

· Maliah Jyarvic wants to conquer the archipelago, and is basically at the center of a lot of schemes right now because he’s a rogue actor in the archipelago.

· Gauron mostly ignores the archipelago, despite the Malus League’s presence, but will step in if it becomes too dangerous. They have financial connections with Tarmouth and Gorgria.

· Internally, Rys might have had some loyalty issues with his succubi.

· Rys also needs to prevent Hell from realizing he has returned, because they still have influence on Harrium

· Tenno Morai didn’t actually come up in this book.

So, yeah, lots of stuff. Some of these political aspects will boil away in the background. A lot of it wasn’t tremendously important, and basically exists as a “this will be important in the future” so that people won’t be surprised if the rug is pulled out from certain characters politically.

The real focus of the book was on Maliah. He basically had two schemes cooking away, and the reader was aware of both at all times: Grishaw, which Rys didn’t know about; and Avolar, which he did.

Over the course of the book, it becomes clear that despite Maliah’s reputation, he has more under-the-table support than thought. Some of this is explained: the Gold Clan opposes Rys for some reason; Avolar wanted to secure food supplies and their economy out of fear of Rys and the Federation’s expansion. But the reveal near the end that Maliah is potentially still has support from the Federation is mostly future setup (i.e. it’s just evidence for later that there are underlying issues in the Federation, something Alsia has commented on).

This is probably the most complicated that the politics will get, barring early Book 3 when this is actually discussed. Much of the complexity will be dispelled when the League is removed and the players come out into the open to oppose Rys. The nature of the series means that there can’t be true arcs – some of these political storylines will constantly progress, even while others are in focus.

Fox politics is the one I haven’t worked out the true depth of, to be honest. Like with Heretic, I’m still on the fence regarding a 7th book. Unlike with Heretic, I don’t have Demon’s Throne planned out to quite the same extent. Heretic could definitely do with splitting up Book 5, but I don’t know the same about Demon’s Throne.

Mina

My favorite set of fluffy tails. Like Fara, she has a fairly well-defined character arc and some of her stronger tropes are still yet to really shine through. Mina did change quite a bit over the course of this book as it was.

I imagine quite a few people reading the book understand Mina’s situation, know somebody who went through something similar, or went through it themselves. It’s basically the fantasy version of: study super hard in school, get an amazing scholarship (or equivalent) and continue studying, then graduate into a disaster of some form that ensures you don’t get a job. Sarae ended up being the cherry on top here.

Without getting too personal, I was actually closer to the Sarae of the situation, in more ways than one. But I knew a lot of Minas.

Otherwise, I really enjoy writing Mina’s obsessive bounciness, especially as I kept ramping it up over the course of the book.

Her twin sister, Sarae, adds a fun twist to how she’ll play out in future books. In general, the entire family aspect of the foxes is one that I plan to lean more into. It’s something of an unexpected theme of the series (I'd love to say I planned it, but that would be a lie – but I am rolling with it). Family, loyalty, duty, love etc. All of this under an otherwise amoral overlord who claims to only care about power.

For various reasons, I don’t want to promise a Mina short story, but I do like writing stuff from her PoV and there is a piece that would take place around this time. I need to work out the timeline of Book 3’s beginning, however, to prevent any problems as it would deal with the fate of Aochi and be a little more open about Mina’s less savory character traits.

Fara

The prickly fox who loves Rys despite constantly insulting him. Fara is a modern tsundere, although she is willing to admit she loves him sometimes (although not always).

I did wonder if she was too prickly at times. The original version of the sex scene involves Mina helping Rys to seduce Fara, because Fara continues to play keep away. I avoided this version, because Fara is much more interested in Rys and it felt disingenuous.

Fara has a truckload of character flaws. She’s very fearful of not pulling her weight and of commitment. Despite openly admitting that she is interested in Rys multiple times, he’s had to constantly pursue her. She had the historical issue with Gregory and her unrequited love. And, of course, she avoided talking to Rys about the havoc foxes and her own worries about not helping him with the war.

With that said, I think Rys needs a character who actively pushes back against him. He basically steamrolls most personality types, or gets rid of those that won’t work with him. Fara’s independent nature is part of the reason why I feel she fits in the most as a confidant or trusted agent.

The havoc fox stuff is a slow burn progression aspect. It needs to start happening now, because it’s the sort of thing that can’t just happen instantly. Also, the foxes will have hard power caps until Rys finds a way around them. I put off Fara’s fifth tail (I initially planned to have her get it before Lapisloch) because it was a distraction, but once she gets it, that’s it for a century. Same with Mina.

The Administrators (Vallis, Alsia, and Maria)

This trio didn’t get much screen time. Maria got facefucked, Alsia got pregnant, and Vallis ummed and ahhed before asking for a present once she feels worthy.

Maria makes for great sex scenes and sexual innuendo. She’s cute, and is convenient in many ways. Her fairly flat character arc was finished in Book 1, and I’d need to start a new one if I wanted to develop her further.

Alsia is tied into Kinadain politics. There’d be another 30k words in the book if I did her justice, so instead she’ll get a lot more time next book, and receive a huge amount of focus in later books.

Finally, Vallis. She’s the definition of imposter syndrome here. The poor girl has landed her dream job, but can’t believe that she deserves it. A lot of her issues are being bottled up and she gets to watch as everyone else, including her godmother, are having the time of their lives. Also, she wants Rys bad. She made some progress in the book, but it was going back over the scene where she asks to wait that made me hold off on her sex scene (originally planned for the 2nd last chapter).

The Infernals (Grigor, Fred, and Co.)

The bois. Plus a couple of girls now, although Mary barely has a presence and I don’t think anybody thinks positively of Hyrie.

Grigor is, as always, the star of the show. His loyalty to Rys is always on show, as is his competence.

Fred makes his appearance, along with an almost overabundance of fat jokes. I will never officially reveal whether Fred is actually fat.

As for the rest, I enjoy using them to color in scenes. Margrim fits into so many scenes it’s not funny. Plot exposition? Jokes? Genre savviness? Being badass? Looking weird? Oddly touching scenes? Man does it all. Terry gets his cool moment in the Vallis scene.

And Taras(u) continues his reign of terror. The “rent-free” joke was a little too modern, but also too good to pass up. Apologies to people who disliked it. The part where Rys finds himself correcting Taras’s name instead of the other way around was great, as it indicates the midpoint of the narrative arc of the jokes… I’m kidding, but I do like it.

Next Book

Without going deep into the writing process, I’ll merely mention that although I still have a lot to plan and chew on. The outline of this book fell apart. Heretic Spellblade 4 has been outlined for weeks, because there are so many events that must happen in it for the series to continue (or because they’ve been planned since Books 1 or 2). By contrast, I have a lot of questions about exactly what I want to accomplish with Demon’s Throne 3. This includes a lot of basic things, such as who dies.

Almost anything can happen in Book 3. It will also mark the appearance of many new characters, and the disappearance of a few more.

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If you have any further questions about the book, ask them below. Also let me know if you have any thoughts on the commentary.