181 - Ayaka Tōjō’s Resolution⑥

RAW

Ever since I became Haruto’s girlfriend, every single day has been shining.

The dream I had always longed for was coming true together with him, and my heart was overflowing with happiness.

When Kiyoko-san started working at our house as a housekeeper, that happiness only grew stronger.

Under one roof, eating meals together, relaxing in the living room, chatting in our rooms, watching movies or dramas—

Haruto and Kiyoko-san became part of our family, and our days turned lively and full of joy.

But everything changed the moment Kiyoko-san collapsed.

Her condition was so dangerous that she needed emergency surgery. The operation was successful, but she still hasn’t regained consciousness.

I want her to wake up soon.

I want us to sit around the dinner table together again, laughing.

I wished for it with all my heart.

But more than anything, I was worried about Haruto ever since Kiyoko-san collapsed.

Normally, he’s so kind, dependable, and mature. But now, he looks so unstable that I can’t help but worry.

It’s as if he might break if touched too roughly. He’s right next to me, yet he feels so far away.

Almost like a child who has been separated from his parents.

As his girlfriend, I wanted to be close to him, to at least be some kind of emotional support.

But Kiyoko-san, his “only family,” held a place in his heart so big that I alone couldn’t support him.

All I could do was hold his hand, hug him, and whisper “It’ll be okay.”

But the moment Ryōta told Haruto, “Let’s become family,” something inside me stirred.

Meeting Haruto. Falling in love. Becoming his girlfriend.

My days had always been filled with light.

And I always thought, from now on too, I wanted to keep building happiness with him.

But watching him now, looking like he might shatter.

Sensing the crushing fear and sorrow pressing down on him.

I realized—happiness alone isn’t enough.

I want to build every part of life with Haruto from here on.

When Haruto is sad, I want to cry with him.

When Haruto is anxious, I want to hold him and share warmth.

When Haruto is happy, I want to rejoice beside him.

When Haruto laughs, I want to laugh too.

From now on, all the joys and sorrows of life, I want to experience them together with him.

When he’s tired or anxious, I want to be there unconditionally.

That’s what I truly feel.

With that resolve in my heart, I stood before his room.

Right now, he was resting inside.

After coming home, he cried so much. Then, after eating a little and taking a shower, he returned to his room.

Just remembering him crying out his fear and sorrow made my chest tighten. I gently knocked on the door.

“…Haruto, can I come in?”

I asked in a small, careful voice.

If he had fallen asleep, I thought I should let him rest.

But then, a faint reply came from the other side: “Yeah.”

His voice sounded weaker than usual, and it lingered in my ears.

I opened the door softly and stepped inside.

“…Can’t sleep?”

“Yeah… whenever I close my eyes, I get scared.”

He was sitting up in bed, and when I spoke, he gave me a fragile, crumbling smile.

“Like a little kid, right? But… I’m scared of sleeping. What if I wake up and grandma’s gone? Just thinking that makes me too afraid to close my eyes.”

His weary smile couldn’t hide the redness still lingering in his eyes.

“Haruto, can I sit next to you?”

“Yeah.”

I slowly moved to his side, climbing onto the bed to sit beside him.

“…Kiyoko-san is really good at knitting, isn’t she?”

“Yeah. When I was little, I only ever wore the gloves and hats she made for me. And sweaters too.”

“She’s so skilled, it makes sense. She really is amazing. And she’s such a good teacher too.”

When I said that, his expression brightened just a little.

“I love the time I spend knitting with her. And I also love learning to cook from her.”

“Grandma always said so, you know. That teaching you was so rewarding because you always listened with such joy. Spending time with you was precious to her too.”

“…Really? I hope she wakes up soon.”

“Yeah…”

Haruto lowered his head, nodding faintly. Dark circles had formed beneath his eyes.

“I… thought I was prepared for this.”

“Prepared?”

“That one day, grandma would pass away. That I’d be left all alone when my family was gone. I thought I was ready for it… I kept telling myself I was… but…”

His voice trembled.

He hugged his knees tightly and buried his face in them.

“Haruto…”

I placed a hand gently on his back.

From his hidden face, muffled words escaped.

“…I can’t prepare for this… but I have to face it… otherwise grandma won’t be at peace… but… I…”

“It’s okay. Kiyoko-san will wake up.”

I stretched out my arms and wrapped him in an embrace.

Holding him tightly, I wanted to fill the fear and loneliness inside him, even if just a little.

He gave a small nod at my words.

I desperately continued speaking, hoping to give him even a fragment of comfort.

“Tomorrow, let’s go to the hospital again. So you’ll be there the moment she wakes up. It’s okay—Kiyoko-san would never leave you alone. She loves you too much. She’ll come back to you.”

“…Yeah… thanks, Ayaka.”

He slowly lifted his face and smiled at me, trying to respond to my encouragement.

But even in that smile, exhaustion seeped through, and he looked so worn down.

He hasn’t slept properly since she collapsed. Physically and emotionally, he must be at his limit.

Wanting him to rest, I gently fixed the blanket.

“Haruto, just try to sleep a little, okay?”

“…Yeah, you’re right.”

He nodded, knowing he was at his limit, and lay down. But then his body froze.

“Haruto?”

“…Sorry, I’m still scared to sleep.”

His voice was so tired it broke my heart.

I couldn’t watch him suffer anymore. I had to tell him what was in my heart.

“Haruto… earlier I said Kiyoko-san would never leave you alone.”

I pulled away slightly so I could meet his eyes directly.

“But it’s not just her. Like Ryōta said…”

The boy I met through the housework service that summer.

A classmate I had never really spoken to before.

So mature, calm, and polite. Smart, skilled at cooking and cleaning. But also a little competitive, sometimes joking around—such a wonderful person.

That boy was the one I fell for.

My love blossomed, and I became his girlfriend.

My most precious, beloved boyfriend.

That’s who he was.

But now… it feels a little different.

Something inside me has changed.

I don’t just like Haruto anymore.

I… love him.

Haruto’s pain is my pain.

Haruto’s fears are my fears.

Haruto’s sorrow is my sorrow.

Every part of him is inside my heart—and I want him to stay there.

So I made my resolve.

“Haruto, you’ll never be alone. Because I won’t let you be.”

Hardships—we’ll share them and make them half.

Happiness—we’ll share them and make them more than double.

That’s the life I want to walk together with Haruto.

“You’ll never be alone, Haruto. Because I’ll always be by your side. As your family.”

For the happiness of the person I love most, I spoke my vow aloud.

-

Ayaka’s Resolution: No Matter When, I’ll Be by Your Side.