From the Vault: A Danny Story

hi everyone, i took a week to travel. i will have a lovely new story this week, but for now, here is a danny story throw back.

It had been so long since I’d seen Danny. What had once been a monthly occurrence, abruptly stopped. In previous entries I’d mentioned that Danny had caught and recovered from covid-19. In the interim America opened up enough that he could travel to LA for business again. He’d been holed up in New York since the start of quarantine, which was the longest period I’d ever witnessed Danny remain fixed in one location. On Saturday I’d texted him out of the blue, just to check and see how he was doing. We’d chatted briefly and he’d sent over a screenshot of a flight itinerary he hadn’t finalized which suggested he would be in town from Monday until Thursday. I didn’t know if he was entertaining a fantasy, or if he was actually planning a trip into town until he texted me Monday evening.

Danny: What’s your plans today?

Me: I was wondering if you were actually coming.

Danny: Lol

Me: Are you in town?

Danny: Duh

Me: Where?

Danny: WeHo

Danny Danny Danny. I ask for a place to go and he gives me a general vicinity.

Me: Always so vague

Danny: Nothing crazy, I just want to see you if you aren’t busy.

Me: I’m not busy haha. I just wanted to know where and you gave me a city, not a specific address.

Danny: Ha all biz. Meet 8:30 London Hotel - we have a drink at the bar - bring weed and lingerie.

I like The London. Probably because it has a theme song I can play on my drive over and feel fancy. But it also means I’m obliged to dress a certain way. I’d learned my lesson the last time, showing up in sweats hoping to sneak through the lobby and pop straight up to the hotel room, but Danny had held me hostage at the bar in a conversation with an Australian perfume saleswoman. I swore I would never show up feeling tawdry again. That night I got properly dressed.

I pulled up to The London, feeling only slightly self-conscious about my very average car. A pebble had flown out while Hassan was driving and it had cracked the windshield. I hadn’t had a chance to get it fixed. The crack plus recent bird droppings really tied the look together. But it didn’t matter, the hotel wasn’t at capacity by any means and the lobby was empty aside from desk staff. I saw Danny walking over to the valet right as I pulled up. I could spot him anywhere. I was wearing a mask, but I could tell he recognized it was me.

Danny: Hey you!

Me: Hey!

We hugged quickly. He was on a mission to find some cigarettes, and luckily the front desk keeps a variety of packs on hand. We walked past the bar which appeared to be open but was empty aside from a lone bartender. Danny punched the button for the elevator and we stepped in. I enjoy wearing a mask. My friends like to tease me that it’s my scorpio energy. I prefer to conceal my identity, especially for outcalls where my clients are nearly double my age. I’m sensitive about my age gap interactions. My clients are not. They don’t receive any of the negative interactions that I do— no judgments or intrusive questions. They often work with younger people anyway and don’t consider the way things look. If anything, they’re a lucky man enjoying a night with a pretty lady that they either won over or paid. That pretty lady is either a gold digger or a prostitute. I’m a gold digging prostitute. When we enter the elevator, we finally have a moment to just be us: Danny and Selena. Danny focuses his gaze on me with his lips puckered in thought. I know he wants to pounce on me, but there’s something more about it.

Danny: You.

Me: Me.

Inside his hotel room I’m light headed. I’d run out after I finished my workout, without taking a moment to drink a protein shake or anything substantial. Thankfully the mini bar was stocked with energy bars and other snacks. I grabbed a Luna bar and felt my eyes water in gratitude. After a moment, I regained my bearing and surveyed the familiar layout.

Me: You got one with a balcony!

Danny: You always notice the balconies.

Me: They’re always different. And I know how much you love a good balcony.

Danny: True. You want some wine?

Me: Yeah.

I searched for the wine. They only had chilled Prosecco and white wine.

Danny: Pick whichever you want.

Me: I want the champagne— I mean the Prosecco.

Danny: I had a feeling you would.

He popped the champagne while I searched for glasses. There were none around the minibar. We settled upon plastic cups and clinked our cups together.

Me: It’s a celebration. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you!

I hopped onto the table below the mounted television. I wore a black dress with thigh high black stockings and black menstruation-proof panties. Danny loves looking up a skirt. He loves lingerie with hints of skin, anything he can slowly peel off of me.

Danny: I like these.

He looked down at my thighs and began lifting my dress. He reached up my skirt and began rubbing the form of my vulva, obscured by my panties.

Me: I knew you would.

He pulled me down onto his lap and gathered my face in his hands. Danny has become such a fixture in my life. While sometimes he drives me crazy, he’s a whimsical sprite who brings mischief into my life and I love him for it. He likes to say that we met in a past life. The non spiritual skeptic in me can’t entertain past life speculation, but I do acknowledge that we have chemistry. A matching rebellious spirit. We kissed, and it was tender. Displays of affection convey a variety of things for me, especially within the context of a financial relationship. Sometimes it’s obligatory. Other times it’s assurance. Still others, it’s a gift. At that moment, it conveyed that I missed him.

Danny: I don’t have coke dick tonight.

He rubbed his budding erection against me. I don’t know how to describe this to civvies in a way that makes sense, but it was a sweet gesture. He was proud and erections come and go, and I’d inspired this one.

Danny: Can you believe you still get me hard?

Me: Yes.

Danny chuckled at me. It’s been nearly two and a half years since we first met. The very beginning of my time at my home club. I’ve tried to celebrate our approximate anniversaries over the past two years. We don’t do anything different other than acknowledge that time has gone by. The strange thing about client relationships is that they can last as long or longer than romantic relationships. It’s a startling tracker of time hoeing. Two and a half years at a club and the clients to prove it. I’ve been successful in growing and maintaining a clientele who consistently support me and who I care for in unique ways. People think that the best way to enjoy paid company is to enjoy variety. Sample every dish at the buffet. But humans enjoy connecting. Too much variety and you lose the ability to distinguish nuance. Also, people only enjoy variety to a degree. At some point we want what we want and that’s it. Or maybe not. Maybe the analogy is going too far. I’m not surprised Danny still gets hard for me. Yes, I’m cocky. But I’m also confident in what I bring to the table. Sex is great, but have you ever gotten horny just talking to someone?

Danny: Wanna go outside and smoke with me? Did you bring weed?

Me: Yeah. Gimme a sec to use the bathroom first.

I half expected him to want to come and watch, but I got the moment to myself. I looked at myself from every mirror. There was one on nearly every wall. I looked beautiful. I felt very posh and dewy in my little black dress with red lips. I haven’t been enjoying my body lately. Everything hurts and I’m not stripping, so my body has changed a bit. I’m a little thicker, which is fine, but as a person who has struggled with body dysmorphia and an eating disorder, my self-love fluctuates from day to day. Especially when I’m anxious and feel as though my life is out of control. But at that moment, I felt happy.

Outside a few people congregated on their private balconies while Danny and I sat together smoking. The energy of the city had begun to shift. Over the weekend during Pride, the bars had begun to open. People were returning to restaurants and congregating at pubs. It’s too dangerous. It’s going to cause a rapid increase in covid cases and a second wave of the pandemic, killing 200,000 Americans by September, but it felt nice. I missed being around people. Normally seeing other people across the way is off putting. I enjoy privacy and invisibility, especially when escorting. But that night I was curious more than anything.

Me: I wonder what capacity the hotel is operating right now.

Danny: Pretty low. There wasn’t anybody downstairs.

Nobody at the bar. Only a handful of people were waiting for a valet. Normally the hotel is bustling, but that night we were mostly alone.

Me: How have you been since you recovered?

Danny: Great. After I worked 24/7 while I had covid and finally recovered, I’ve been doing pretty well.

Me: God, that’s a lot. How are the kids?

Danny: They’re great.

Me: You still with your lady?

Danny: Yeah, still together.

Me: How’s she doing?

Danny: She’s great.

Danny smiled at me, amused I was making what could be considered small talk, but what was an earnest inquiry. I wanted to know, even if he wasn’t interested in discussing his family. The pandemic has had me checking in on everyone lately.

Danny: How have you been? You protest at all?

Me: Yeah, I’ve gone to several protests.

Danny: What do you think of all of it?

Me: I’m trying to remain hopeful. I was protesting back when Ferguson was happening. I was in Baltimore for The Uprising, or “riots” depending who you’re talking to. I thought something would change then, but nothing happened after everything. So I’m skeptical. But I try to look at the successes. I’m amazed the rhetoric has shifted the way it has. To hear even moderates supporting defunding the police--

Danny: It’s been a huge shift. I mean as someone not from here, it’s been pretty major. The U.S. has a very… specific culture, very different from other places—

I scoffed. It was a loaded, appearingly neutral comment that encapsulated our country. The U.S. is very specific. The great capitalist experiment. A militarized money machine fueled by prison slave labor and obscured supply chains divorced enough that consumers hardly have a connection to the comforts we enjoy. But also wacky, full throated, and brazenly privileged. Drowning in the rubbish of all that we’ve discarded in the pursuit of new and convenient. Proudly paying no attention to our history, because we refuse to be judged by our past. Amerikkka.

Me: The problem with these movements is they start off fiery and full of potential, and then gradually the message gets watered down. Protesters are policing each other. There’s too much emphasis on “peaceful protest,” when we saw the most change in Minneapolis after they burned down the police station.

Danny: You’re right about that.

Me: The Civil Rights Act was signed after riots! I mean, if I get really real, I have to agree with Fanon in that “there is no bloodless revolution”.

Danny: And you see that with other revolutions. It’s always an economic issue. The poor and oppressed get sick of it and that’s when they come for the rich. Think of the French Revolution beheading the royal family, and the Russian Revolution, murdering the Tzars because they were living extravagantly while the rest of their countries starved. Things need to be broken for people to wake up.

After servicing considerably less aware clients for the past several months, having this conversation with Danny was a breath of fresh air. Seeing Danny cemented for me the way life was continuing on. Covid was in no way over, in fact if anything, things had gotten significantly more dire. How did we get to this point? What gave the US the audacity to blatantly ignore a global pandemic? Was I part of the problem? But on the flip side, I was grateful. I enjoy Danny visits. We get to be indulgent and weird, and I raid the hotel swag stations for things to take home.

Danny was jetlagged, which almost never happens. As we talked, his eyes would pause, closed in an extended blink, only to slightly reopen.

Me: You look tired. This is the longest you’ve been in one time zone for a while. Normally you’re on world time.

Danny cracked up. I felt accomplished making him laugh. My humor is often too esoteric and he misses my subtle jokes; and on the other end, because my brain operates along irregular logical paths, Danny’s jokes rarely slap. I think it was easy because we missed each other. He stared at me with an intensity I hadn’t seen. It wasn’t just a, “I am very aroused right now,” type of stare, it was like he was taking me in, savoring the moment.

Danny’s always light hearted and breezy when we’re together. I’m part of his self-care routine. I’ll never know him in a proper business setting, leading a meeting or taking a conference call. It’s difficult to imagine the more straight laced version of the man I know. Danny as a father and partner. Danny as someone’s boss. I can imagine it. He loves going into impromptu motivational speeches. I filter them out, even though I know they come from a genuine place.

We returned inside and sprawled across the bed. I knew it would be time for me to put on a show shortly, but I could hardly wrap my head around in. I just wanted to enjoy the moment, but I was on the clock.

Danny: You know you have superpowers right?

Me: How so?

Danny: Let me put it this way: do you feel like you perceive things normal people cannot?

Me: Depends how you characterize “normal”.

Danny: You know what I mean. There are people who go about life and never look up or think about anything, but you’re not one of those people. And I know that because I have superpowers too! That’s why I recognize it.

I try not to indulge in discussions that place me somewhere above other people. It’s a privilege to be where I am, to have been exposed to the world in the ways I’ve been exposed. If I have any greater vantage point of anything, it is because I have been lucky. And Danny has been much luckier than me. Of course, we could be using our privileges for evil. We could be uninformed and happily complicit. But because we are doing the minimum, it doesn’t make us better.

Danny: When did you realize you had superpowers? Or rather, when did you realize you saw the world clearly?

Me: I don’t know… I’ve always been an outsider, so I’ve always seen things differently. And I don’t process questions like a normal person. It’s why I’m terrible with multiple choice. If you give me A or B, I’ll pick C or D.

It doesn’t feel like a superpower. It feels like my brain doesn’t work the right way. It feels like my brain gets in the way of me assimilating into society.

Danny: That’s what makes you special. It’s your superpower. Your curiosity. Do you know that you’re a superhero?

Me: No.

Danny: Well, you are. One day you’ll recognize it, and then you’ll have to decide whether or not to use your powers for good.

Danny pulled down one of my stockings and placed my foot on his chest. He started touching himself while I rubbed myself through my panties. Lately he’s been on a major panty porn kick, so I knew I could get away with keeping my panties on. It was a relief considering I was on one of the heaviest days of my cycle. I wanted to bring my normal enthusiasm, but my body was hardly holding on. Thankfully, the buildup of tension and anticipation came to a crescendo in a relatively brief time.

Danny: Oooo this is a good orgasm.

Danny smiled and raised his eyebrows as he came on the sheets. The journey is always more important than the orgasm in our exchanges, but it was satisfying to watch him come. I kissed him on the forehead.

Me: Let me grab a towel.

I hopped up and brought back a hand towel from the bathroom. Normally, I would have excused myself at that point. Come and we’re done. But I didn’t want to. It was as much an escape for Danny as it was for me in that moment.

Danny: It’s okay if you have to go. I understand.

Me: I know. But I’m in no rush.

Danny: Wanna sit outside and smoke with me?

Me: That sounds great.

We sat on the balcony together, holding each other. I’ve been feeling so lonely lately. Normally I’m providing a one sided service to my customers, but lately even I’ve been needing to be held and cared for. Normally Danny is a hot mess, incoherent from a combination of exhaustion and social drinking, but on the nights when we can talk and connect, it’s a treat I like to savor. So I sat beside him and we smoked, enjoying the moment.