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LunaWolve
LunaWolve

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Let me pick your Brain! - Part 1

Hello everyone, LunaWolve here!

Part of the reason I wanted to create this Patreon was to have a larger pool of "Alpha Readers", so to speak.

It's the pool of readers that get first dibs on my chapters, but also on passages that I'm not 100% sure about, in order to gather feedback before release.

For this reason, I would like gauge general interest with this post here, to figure out whether this is something that the majority of you want to partake in, whether it's something only a small percentage wants to partake in or if it's something none of you want.

I can understand arguments for each party, as some of you might simply want to read the "finished" chapters and that's it. I get it, I really do.

For this reason, I'd like to ask you guys to fill out this quick poll, so I can get a rough idea of where people stand: https://strawpoll.com/polls/bVg8ojlBBnY

If I see a vast majority of you interested in providing passage feedback, I will simply release those as additional Patreon posts, just like the general advance chapter releases.

If it's somewhat 50/50, I'll think of another way to get the passages to the people that want to provide feedback (maybe a quick and dirty Discord, before I get the real thing setup?)

If the majority isn't interested in passage feedback, I'll simply continue as I have so far, by simply requesting it from my small pool of Alpha Readers.

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----- Passage Feedback Below --- That means there are slight spoilers involved! -----
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While you're here, I'd like to pick your Brain right away on this passage for the upcoming chapter. It will also act as a sort of trial-run and an example, to give you an idea of what I'm even talking about with the poll above:

[The passage is from Thea's internal thoughts.]

[Start of Passage]

'Well... not quite what I wanted, but I guess it will do for now. Definitely a lot easier on the eyes... So, my main Attributes are definitely Resolve and Perception as it stands. Resolve seems to primarily govern my ability to withstand Psychic attacks or backlash, so investing in it might not be too worthwhile at the moment. Major Quinn did mention that having a 5 is already quite high, after all... 

'Perception, on the other hand, I can definitely see making my main Attribute going forward. As a scout and sniper, I'll need to make sure my squad is covered and avoid leading them into any ambushes or traps... So that's a no-brainer. Dexterity also seems like something I would want, but I'm a bit worried about becoming too lopsided with my distribution... 

'Ah! That reminds me... the Professor did imply Vitality being important for Psykers too... Not to mention having a 2 seems to be vastly below the average compared to the rest of the Marines, so I should probably try my best to shore up that weakness, at least somewhat...'

[End of Passage]


I'd like to hear first impressions. I won't be providing further context, as it's simply a test to see how people would react to this particular passage.

Does it feel natural?
Do you see any issues?
Is it repetitive or boring?

Those are the kind of things I'd like to know!

Thank you once again for your support, it is extremely highly appreciated!

Comments

i like the passage, it flows naturally and explains her thoughts well

Kilian Rode

Your assumptions are correct. Lopsided stats matter mostly for class choices and Psychic backlash, specifically. With Thea's current stats in Vitality, she'd be hard-pressed to use any physical-type Psychic power, as the backlash would likely rip her apart immediately. I explained some of the training part in another comment somewhere, but the general gist is yes, you can technically level up your base stats through training, but it's VERY VERY hard. Especially Vitality, as it involves an immense amount of pain and suffering <.<'

LunaWolve

Thank you for the feedback!

LunaWolve

The passage doesn't seem boring or repetitive. Her attribute point distribution is important and her hesitation is understandable, as it is new for her. As readers, we also don't always remember the effect and importance of each stats, so some reminders are welcome if it mesh well with the story.

SecondBlahm

What are the disadvantage of lopsided stats, beside the obvious glass canon build with her low vitality ? Maybe she wouldn't be able to handle her high agility or strength ? Would it make her psychic power unusable due to high backlash risk ? She will get more benefits from putting points in her high basic stats, but that mean nothing if she can't use them due to her low vitality. Can her basic vitality be trained ? Strength, agility and some mental stats, I can see, but vitality is more difficult.

SecondBlahm

To make sure that each Recruit understands that they're alive. There is a very slight difference between the DDS and reality (99.9% accurate isn't 100%) and would become apparent very quickly, once things simply start to materialize in front of their eyes. Having them finish the ceremony 'in real' is an important part of making sure that the psychological trauma is kept to a minimum.

LunaWolve

I’m wondering the point of their death at the faux graduation only to be brought to a real body then digitized again. Wouldn’t it make more sense to just go digital to digital instead? First death to sovereign dds directly

Marick

1. There is >technically< a way to upgrade base Attributes without System interference, but it's highly unlikely for UHF Marines to be able to do so. Normal Strength training, Dexterity exercises, etc. do all still work as you would expect in a normal scenario, but the realistic gains are near-minimal. Human physiology does not allow the body to move past certain pre-determined levels, so if you've already reached that limit, you can't proceed without the System interfering. So any stat with 3 or higher, is likely to never see any benefit from your typical training. Anything below a 3 >could< be increased to a 3 with an absurd amount of effort. You'd have to train essentially just as much as a normal human would have to, in order to get to that point. So you'd have to have the natural aptitude + the will to train as much, or more, than the galaxies best atheletes. 2. The UHF Marines function in a squad-based environment, so specializing in a particular aspect is not necessarily a bad choice. Thea will theoretically always have her squad heavies with her, to protect her from close-range encounters as much as possible. That said, every Marines does continously need to improve their close-range responses too (CQQ training). 3. Definitely intend on doing that! Thanks for the feedback and thoughts!

LunaWolve

Min Maxing doesn't need to be hyper specialized. This can also be the best use of her abilities and points towards a specific role / end game. great points overall.

The Lost Pages

3. just a tip that i would recommend you make sure her stat page is shown up when she has these big conversations with herself and other people (never show stats to others though)

2. is it a good idea to min max for a scout sniper in the UHF marine corp, there is no guarantee she will always stay back and out of close range, extenuating circumstances probably can and will cause her to need more or less balanced stats, not to say she cant have a specialty but for the role she is looking to play and with her 130 point value total it would make sense to get the best out of all her stats without letting one fall too far behind

1. is there a way to increase baseline stats, without point. e.g lifting more and heavier weight and faster to build more strength, getting hit and moving through it for vitality, mental/observation training for mind/ perception stats. or will you keep it as the only way to increase from now as stat points?

I've read a few of these responses and most of them make sense, i have these following questions that pop up

Very good thoughts! Love the feedback and speculation!

LunaWolve

Glad to hear!

LunaWolve

My first thought when I read this was, “No!!! Don’t waste your points on vitality!” I personally enjoy character/author thought process and decision making for major decisions and forecasting future build choices. My other thought was if there was a way for her to unlock psychic before her class choice. Even if she pumped all her points into perception, she’d still need the base to increase to 6.5 to be able to hit the 30 point total. At least from what we have heard so far base increases are few and far between and it doesn’t seem like even an absolute focus is going to get there before class selection. It did mention base points with a class so it is possible right after class selection or very soon afterwards. The Lecture mentioned other classes involving psykers so I’d think she want to find out if a better rounded build is better to start off or if it is worth trying to rush straight for psychic. If I was her, I would think I had something else going on besides what is on her current status sheet. Some sense stopped her from shooting at the booby traps. High psychic stats? An ability not yet unlocked?

TWW

The passage was pretty good! I eagerly look forward to the next chapter!

Thomas Downing

I'm actually not sure if she would be that worried about having lopsided stats that much. The percentage increase over flat rate means spending points on the low stats early on is a little bit of a waste. I can imagine Thea would definately make a note to keep an eye out for those perks that give a flat rate increase, and fix her lower stats later, but she would definately want to come up with ways to cover her lower all her lowest stats in the short term.

Shannon Livingston

Very good! Definitely agree on this point.

LunaWolve

Just had another thought. When Thea thinks about how low her vitality is, that passage above makes it sound like she's considering ways to increase it. As a gamer I would expect her to try and find ways to offset the low stat, instead of trying to increase it; With a percentage increase in stats, rather than a flat rate, the payoff for increasing her lowest stats would be very low compared to min maxing. Rather than fixing her low vitality I would expect her to investigate alternatives... Are there shield generators? Stealth armor? Motion trackers? Auto Medkits? These are all things I can see her investigating to improve her survivability, only then only increasing her base vitality as a last resort.

Shannon Livingston

That is pretty much correct, yes. Strength and Dexterity does impart a certain amount of general resistance, just like muscles would normally do, but the supernatural resilience like Superman, would come from Vitality. Lt. Frost for example had a comperatively high amount of Vitality, which allowed her to literally ignore the low-tech gunfire from the Stellar Republic, as they were unable to pierce her skin, aside from potentially hitting weakpoints.

LunaWolve

So, a high enough strength, dexterity, and perception would allow you to attempt to catch a bullet out of the air, but you are probably going to need to have a high vitality to handle the momentum that bullet would impart on you for catching it? Likely lowered by your ability to successfully bleed that momentum by moving your hand with it or the like. But just like catching it between your fingers out in front of you like superman does would require a high vitality to keep it from just ripping your fingers off dependent on the size of the bullet?

Critical Hit

Your first assumption is correct, yes. Dexterity would give her more precision over how exactly she could move. Vitality is not necessary for that, no. Vitality is pretty much exclusively an "external" thing, as in, it protects you from external sources of stress and damage, not internal. Part of the Strength/Dexterity Attribute itself goes into making sure that Participants don't just rip themselves apart.

LunaWolve

Alright so she'd need to increase dexterity to be able to begin to react to seeing the muzzle flash of a bullet coming at her, but strength would mean she'd be able to move faster once she starts reacting. Dexterity then increasing the precision to which she could make that movement? As a separate thing, is vitality necessary to keep from tearing your body apart as you move with ever greater strength?

Critical Hit

Ahhh I see! My bad! Yes that would be Dexterity. Hand-Eye coordination is definitely part of Dexterity.

LunaWolve

I didn't mean the speed at which your muscles could move you, so much as the speed to which you can tell your muscles what to do. Like if you hold your hand out with your palm open, and someone else holds a meterstick just above your hand then drops it, it takes a certain amount of time for the light to reach your eyes showing that the ruler has begun to drop, for your brain to process that signal, for your brain to tell your hand to close around that meter stick, and then for the muscles in your hand to actually do that action. Typically it takes about 15.9 to 20.4 centimeters dropped before the ruler is caught for the average person, or .18 to .20 seconds. Which stat would improve this kind of result? Where you see a thing, your brain decides on a reaction to the thing, then you actually do that reaction? I get that strength would decrease the time it takes for your hands to close, but what about for your hands to begin to close?

Critical Hit

Like most people have said, it reads well to me. Since she is part of Alpha and all ready gets some perks, like the extras in the room. Why not have someone to ask system question as part of that, even tho they want everyone else to have a shot at the squad, the military wouldnt want to waste the potential of someone with silver abilities if they dont even have enough for a full squad normally as what was said in an earlier chapter.

Interesting thoughts! One correction here, however: Dexterity is properly named. Strength is what determines the speed at which your muscles can move you, not Dexterity. (As explained by Prof. Pierce in Ch12) Dexterity determines the fine control you have over them, instead. So in order for her to make sure she can keep up with her instincts, she'd need both Strength AND Dexterity, with slightly more focus on Strength.

LunaWolve

Mostly reads well. But I would have expected her thoughts about Dexterity (which actually might be better called agility? Dexterity is more skill in tasks, especially with the hands, while agility is more speed and ease of movement? Though of course D&D and similar games have made Dexterity kinda the go-to there so understandable) to include mention of how she can't keep up with her own perception/instincts like in chapter 7 ""Ahhh, don't worry! I'm sure I'll figure something out… To answer your questions from earlier: Yes, I actually dodged the bullet. As I mentioned before, I got lucky. I have some extremely good instincts and although my reflexes are good, they can't really keep up, most of the time."" So it seems she'd want to improve her dexterity to make it so she can actually keep up with her instincts and be able to make full use of them.

Critical Hit


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