Miss Tira (NSFW)

Hey everyone, my apologies for not posting much lately.

Here is the drawing I teased previously, that almost got me quitting everything for good.
And I need to vent a little about it here, because it hasn't been fun. At all.

This one was a bit of an experiment (kind of based on what I already tried with my Karlach x Shadowheart picture) except this time I could not  make sense of the lighting and the rendering. Nothing clicked and that scared me, I felt like I forgot everything about art, color theory... I spent a lot of time trying to salvage this, almost restarted it from scratch, and it became obvious that I would never have the time to properly do so. I just didn't believe in this image enough to justify all the time I had already put in it.

Also, when I thought about the fact that I hadn't posted anything for so long, starting another drawing and taking the risk of feeling the same way, not being able to finish the rendering and get stuck in a loop of not drawing/posting anything ever again... it makes me panic, and want to give up. A bit dramatic, yes, but anxiety does things to you... Fortunately, I'm used to it enough to know when to back up, chill, and move on. So this is a bit therapeutic (posting this picture despite how of feel about it, and complaining about it.)

Now I really have to move on and find another style if I want to get things rolling again. Maybe even, get back to the very old time where I didn't render my drawings at all; just threw random colors, left them flat and called it a day. Expect things to get... experimental. (I'm actually thinking of putting next month's billing on hold again, until I actually have time to draw and figure all of this out. Because I don't want to abuse your generous support, having barely anything good to show for it.)

So again, sorry about all this, I hope you guys are all doing OK.
I would actually love to hear about you guys; where are you in your life, is everything going alright ?