Session 𝓔ighty-Two

Session 82:
"The Wise One”

⨳ ⨳ ⨳

As soon as I got to Monroe’s house, I rushed upstairs toward her bedroom.

I immediately headed toward the bathroom, quickly taking off all of my clothes and starting the shower.

Since I just started my period less than forty minutes ago, the amount of blood wasn’t bad.

I still scrubbed myself from head to toe, wanting to feel as clean as possible.

Once I was done, I looked in the specific drawer Monroe mentioned, grabbing one of the pads.

I opted for wearing my own clothes since I didn’t want to risk ruining hers.

Luckily, my luggage from New York was still here.

I still had a lot of unworn clothes, so I just grabbed a pair of sweatpants and the baggiest sweatshirt I could find.

Then I grabbed that heading pad Monroe mentioned from the bathroom drawer and immediately got comfortable in bed.

My focus was officially honed in on studying for my mid-terms coming up, relaxing with the heating pad resting on my stomach and my glasses on.

I’m not sure how much time passed—I was laser-focused on my laptop, repeating back different terms without looking at the screen.

Then I knew I could reference it off the top of my head.

I was so in the zone that I didn’t realize it had even gotten dark out.

Not until my phone started buzzing, diverting my focus away from the bright laptop screen.

The room was dim with only one lamp on.

I smiled slightly at Monroe’s contact on my phone screen, immediately sliding my thumb across to answer the call.

“Hi baby,” I greeted first, putting the call on speaker.

“How do you feel, darling?” Monroe asked, making my smile grow.

“Great, I got a lot of studying done for midterms,” I said, closing my laptop and sliding my glasses off so I could flip onto my side.

“My smart girl,” she murmured, and I swear I was smiling like an idiot at this point. “What did you want for dinner?”

I hummed in thought, briefly glancing over to the time on my phone.

8:37 pm

My eyes widened immediately, trying to process that I had studied for over three hours.

And Monroe had worked this entire time?

I feel so bad.

“No, don’t worry about dinner,” I quickly said, not wanting to inconvenience her after a long day.

“Liberty,” I heard her say, and I already knew that my answer didn’t make her happy. “Name anything you want. It’s very simple, darling.”

“I want the rarest fish in the ocean. Go in a submarine and catch it for me?” I casually asked, my tone entirely joking.

“Let me call my family’s connection. We’ll figure something out,” Monroe murmured, making me laugh softly.

“No, I want you in a submarine, Ro Ro,” I said, chuckling again. “I bet you’d look so hot.”

I heard her laugh softly. “I’ve never gotten that compliment before.”

I gasped dramatically. “You’ve gotten compliments?” I asked jokingly. “Who dares to compliment my girlfriend?”

Monroe laughed again—this one so much deeper and even more beautiful than the last.

“My god, Liberty,” she murmured, chuckling softly, as if she truly couldn’t contain herself. “My girlfriend is a comedian, it seems.”

I immediately smiled at the label she used.

I think it was the first time she had officially said it aloud.

“Wow,” I murmured with a growing smile. “I’ve never gotten that compliment before,” I purposely said, quoting her words.

The line was silent for a few moments.

So silent that it made me want to burst out laughing.

“I know we’re joking, but I’ll still run a background check on everyone you’ve been in contact with, Liberty,” Monroe finally spoke again, making me silently laugh to myself. “Then a lot of people will meet an unfortunate fate.”

I couldn’t help the laugh that slipped from my lips, finding her seriousness entirely hilarious.

And cute too—even if it was unhinged for me to.

A few months ago, I wouldn’t have found it funny or cute.

I would probably just be in shock.

“Back to the submarine topic,” I breathed out, trying to contain my laughter.

“The topic we’re on is perfectly fine,” Monroe just had to say, making me laugh harder.

“See, this is why—we can’t make jokes,” I tried my best to say, my laughter dying down.

“Completely agree,” she didn’t hesitate to say. “While we’re being serious, let’s discuss those complime—“

“Monroe,” I cut her short with the loudest laugh.

I swear I couldn’t stop laughing at her right now.

It didn’t help when Monroe started laughing with me—tears were literally in my eyes.

“Darling,” Monroe breathed out, trying to fight her laughter. “Dinner. Tell me what you’re in the mood for.”

I let out a bunch of deep breaths, wiping the tears under my eyes.

“Those Auntie Anne’s cinnamon and sugar pretzels,” I bluntly said my random craving aloud. “Oh—and chocolate cake sounds good too.”

Both ideas had honestly just popped to the forefront of my mind.

“Neither of those are adequate for dinner, Liberty,” Monroe said, making me let out the most dramatic sigh.

“But you asked me what I wanted,” I pointed out, suddenly needing those pretzels and chocolate cake more than air.

“I never said I wouldn’t pick it up for you,” Monroe clarified, making a smile immediately light up on my face. “I suppose I’ll pick out a real dinner for us as well.”

“Sounds perfect,” I determined, feeling very content with this outcome.

“My god, do I have you spoiled,” she murmured, almost as if she were thinking aloud.

“Am I high maintenance yet, doc?” I teased, mocking her words from nights ago.

“Never,” Monroe said, making me shake my head with a smile.

“Yeah, okay,” I mumbled softly. “All jokes aside, I feel bad because you had a long day at work.”

“Don’t, darling,” she immediately told me, but all I could do was disagree.

“It’s almost eight, Monroe,” I pointed out, “Was it patient files that kept you?”

The question was definitely purposeful.

If she had patient files, she would’ve left the office and handled them here.

She was kept by something else, and I already knew what it was.

“I had to handle other matters” she murmured vaguely.

“Oh, so like… government stuff?” I hesitantly asked, not wanting to pry too much.

But I’m annoyingly thinking about Dr. Kincaid’s words.

That’s what she wanted.

I know that’s what she wanted.

“I have,” Monroe said, not giving any further clarification.

She did it on purpose.

I always have to ask her for more if I want it.

“I’ll see you when I get there, Liberty,” she suddenly told me before I could ask further questions.

It was purposeful—yet again.

“Sure,” I murmured, even if I wanted to know more about what she does for the government.

Or what she’s doing now.

We had really only talked about it once.

I missed the opportunity to pry more, though, once our phone call ended.

I knew I would bring it up later, though.

I just wasn’t sure how yet.

I didn’t bother trying to rehearse what I would ask her.

I just planned to ask her bluntly what she does.

I know she previously said she couldn’t say much, but that’s not going to work for me.

I want to know more about what extracting information for them entails to.

She said it’s not therapy either, so what does she even do?

Dr. Kincaid said Monroe guides someone in any direction she wants.

I already know that Monroe knows what to say or do.

She’s a world-renowned therapist, so that’s not hard to conclude.

I just couldn’t help but wonder deeper—maybe I should’ve always pushed for more information from Monroe.

I always let any topic go when she wants me to.

Now I’m sitting here trying to draw my own conclusions—I swear it was the longest hour of my life.

When I heard the garage finally open, I could breathe again, feeling so impatient about this topic.

Dr. Kincaid got in my head, yes, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let her words define who my girlfriend is.

“Hi,” I said as soon as Monroe walked into the house, effortlessly carrying the different bags hanging on her arms.

“Hi, darling,” she said as she approached me at the kitchen island, setting the bags down.

I smiled when she briefly kissed my cheek. “What did you grab for dinner?” I curiously asked.

“Steak,” Monroe said as she began unpacking the groceries. “It’s always ideal to eat at the beginning of your cycle.”

I tilted my head. “Tell me more, doc,” I murmured, relaxing back in my seat.

“Numerous reasons, darling,” she said, opening the fridge. “It's a good source of iron, zinc... even Vitamin B12.”

“I’m going to need a simpler explanation,” I said with an amused smile.

Monroe met my stare, her lips twitching up slightly. “It helps with fatigue, any low energy, and cramps, darling.”

I hummed. “Perfect. I understand now,” I determined. “Thank you for being so thoughtful.”

“Always,” Monroe didn’t hesitate to say as she closed the fridge.

Then she veered over to me, quickly kissing my lips in the cutest way.

“I got everything to make a chocolate cake for you as well,” she murmured, kissing my lips yet again, only slower this time.

I smiled wider. “You didn’t have to make the cake, Ro Ro,” I pointed out, knowing that a store-bought cake would’ve sufficed.

But of course, Monroe wanted to make it herself.

“I prefer to make it,” she said as she pulled back from me, reaching for the bag on the counter.

“You got the pretzels,” I whispered with a happy smile, taking the bag from her extended hand. “Thank you so much.”

“Of course, my sweet girl,” she murmured as I immediately reached into the plastic bag for the pretzels.

I didn’t waste any time eating them, savoring the cinnamon and sugar.

Monroe got me the biggest size, which didn’t help.

They were genuinely addictive—I couldn’t stop eating them.

It sucked because Monroe was quite literally making us dinner, and I basically ruined my appetite by eating a bunch of sugary pretzels.

It was worth it, though, and I still had room for the steak Monroe made us.

I also convinced her to make us fries.

“Look-look,” I said, sticking the two fries in my mouth, “Fry fangs.”

Monroe chuckled softly, eyeing the fries in my mouth, “Adorable,” she murmured, gently grabbing my chin to openly look at me.

Whether it was the fries or my lips she was focused on, I wouldn’t know.

“So Dr. Kincaid clearly knows about us,” I suddenly said, trying my best to smoothly switch the topic.

Monroe let go of my chin, “She always has,” she determined, glancing away from my lips.

It felt like I had completely ruined the mood.

“She uh,” I awkwardly mumbled, glancing down at my plate. “She told me to be careful with you.”

Monroe’s lips only twitched up, amused by what I had told her.

“And what did you say, darling?” she asked as I met her stare again.

“I said I wasn’t going to talk about my girlfriend with her,” I explained, earning a soft hum from Monroe.

“Good girl,” she said so softly, gently grabbing my hand on the table.

I nodded wordlessly at her praise, trying my best to stay focused on the topic at hand.

The government.

There isn’t a way of subtly asking.

If I wanted to know, I needed to ask her straight up.

That’s the only way she’ll give me a solid answer.

“She mentioned your work with the government,” I suddenly said, my eyes trailing her face for something.

Any kind of emotion or reaction.

There was nothing.

Monroe was entirely neutral.

“She said you know what to say and do, which I was already aware of,” I explained, my stare not wavering from her, “But she also said you know how to guide someone any direction you want.”

“What are you asking me, Liberty?” Monroe asked, clearly picking up on what I was trying to hint at.

I was silent for a moment, my mind running in circles to figure out how to ask this.

But there was no right way.

“What exactly is your work with the government?”

Monroe didn’t react to my question, and she also didn’t respond.

I almost contemplated whether I hallucinated the words I just said, but then she let out the deepest sigh.

My brows furrowed together when she let go of my hand, leaning away from me entirely.

“I’ve made this topic clear, Liberty,” she said, her blue eyes holding mine. “I can’t disclose sensitive information like this with you.”

I shook my head, “I’m not asking for small details. I just want to know what you do. What is your role?” I emphasized, needing something to go on. “You previously said you extract information.”

“Why can’t that be enough for you, darling?” Monroe asked, tilting her head as her eyes trailed my face.

“You’re my girlfriend now, Monroe,” I pointed out with furrowed brows, “This is something I should know about. Dr. Kincaid seems to think so too.”

I stiffened slightly, not from my words, but from the look Monroe gave me.

It’s so weird how she can be expressionless like this, but have this terrifying look behind her eyes.

It’s like she wasn’t in the same reality as I was anymore, like her mind put down this armor-clad wall and separated us.

I glanced down, immediately noticing her hand twitch on the table.

“Monroe—”

I quickly cut myself short when she stood from the table, her stare not bothering to meet mine.

I knew my words were a little much.

I didn’t just say that Dr. Kincaid thought I should know—I implied that she was right about me needing to know.

“She seems to think so,” Monroe murmured, quoting my exact words from moments ago. “Perhaps Dr. Kincaid thinks too much.”

I furrowed my brows at her words, watching as she calmly grabbed the plates.

Even if her grip on the glass was tight.

Fuck.

I went about this the wrong way.

I tried to be careful, and I still fucked it up.

“I don’t like that she thinks too much,” Monroe murmured softly, her tone unnervingly calm. “I don’t want her to think at all.”

Her words sent alarm bells ringing through my head, my eyes widening at the death wish I just signed for Dr. Kincaid.

I quickly stood from the table when Monroe backed away with our plates.

“Ro,” I said, following behind her. “We’re off topic, baby. I just wanted to know what you do. That’s all.”  

“Yes,” Monroe agreed, making a small relief flow through me. “Dr. Kincaid thought it was best, darling. I understand.”

I shook my head, wincing when she dropped the plates in the sink with a clatter, “No-no, I worded it wrong. I’m sorry,” I whispered, quickly grabbing her arm to pull her into me.

Monroe wouldn’t meet my stare.

She just stared past me like I was non-existent.

“You know best,” I reassured her, wrapping my arms around my waist. “Only you.”

Nothing.

Monroe said nothing.

“I don’t care what Dr. Kincaid thinks, Monroe. If I did, then I would’ve asked her for more,” I whispered so softly, tilting my head further back to stare up at her, “I chose to ask you because I trust you.”

Monroe’s stare flickered down to me, finally meeting my stare again.

She looked so lost behind her blue eyes.

I knew the Dr. Kincaid topic sent her into a spiral.

I should’ve known better than to lead with that.

I drew in the deepest breath when she lifted her hands, softly cupping my face.

I didn’t say anything.

I just remained silent, waiting for her to make the next move.

“Officially,” Monroe suddenly said, her voice lowered between us, “They call it cognitive reframing.”

My brows knitted together slightly, still not understanding what that meant.

“Unofficially,” she murmured, tilting her head slightly. “I make people forget what they were never supposed to know.”

I blinked a few times, trying to process what she just told me.

This is what she does for them.

“So you can just erase memories?” I asked in disbelief.

Because this genuinely sounded unreal.

“No,” Monroe said, shutting down my question. “It’s not that simple, Liberty.”

“What do you mean it’s not that simple?” I asked in confusion, shaking my head, “Stop beating around the bush, Monroe. Be transparent.”

She let out a deep sigh, rolling her shoulders back as she glanced away from me.

“Let’s say they brought me a defector,” she went on to explain, but all it did was make me more confused. “A defector is someone who leaves their organization to join an opposing side. Perhaps even share confidential secrets.”

I nodded a few times, now able to follow along better.

So maybe someone the government has worked with could’ve switched sides, and they would need that loose end tied.

“Let’s imagine they wanted this person to forget where they buried a list of American names. I wouldn’t technically erase that from his mind,” Monroe emphasized, her stare nearly sinking into mine. “I would just bury it somewhere deeper. Give them a new memory to hold onto instead, and this person would believe it completely. They would pass a polygraph easily.”

I nodded once.

And then again, processing her words.

Or the power she holds when it comes to someone’s mind.

“It’s not technically therapy, as I’ve said, Liberty,” Monroe continued when I couldn’t possibly string any words together. “It’s purely hypnotherapy.”

I nodded yet again, still entirely wordless.

Is it bad that she tells me this, and then I wonder deeper about us?

Or about her, and if her work ever spilled onto me?

I can’t ask her that, can I?

No...

It would mean I don’t trust her—but at the same time, she reframes people’s minds.

She can rewire your brain and alter your sense of reality.  

I would know if she’s done it to me.

But at the same time…

I used to be different.

The version of me months ago was so independent.

Now I have issues with disagreeing with any of Monroe’s viewpoints, and she doesn’t even have to convince me to.

 I just naturally want what she wants.

I realized that when Sarai brought up that cat breed I’m obsessed with.

It wasn’t a further thought until Sarai had mentioned it.

Monroe said she didn’t want animals, so I didn’t want them either.

It was that simple in my mind.

“I want a cat,” I suddenly said before I could think it through.

My words caught us both off guard—me, especially.

I had let my intrusive thoughts win, but I also wanted to test my mental willpower here.

“A cat,” Monroe repeated back to me, tilting her head slightly, “Okay.”

She blinked a few times, clearly processing the randomness of my statement.

“I was just thinking about it earlier,” I whispered awkwardly, glancing away from her. “I know I said I would be okay without a pet, but maybe I wouldn’t be.”

“Then we can discuss getting a cat,” she determined, briefly pursing her lips together. “Assuming we’ll live together down the line.”

“Yeah, of course,” I murmured, staring so deeply into her eyes for more.

I technically proved my own assumptions wrong, but something inside of me wanted to ask her.

Breaking the boundaries of our trust didn’t feel worth it, though.

I also refused to let Dr. Kincaid’s words affect me further.

Clearly, I'm fine.

“Thank you for telling me,” I suddenly said, hugging myself to her. “I really appreciate it.”

“Of course,” Monroe whispered, wrapping her arms around me. “I can’t give you much more information than that. I hope that can be enough for you, Liberty.”

I nodded, pressing my cheek against her chest. “Yes, it’s more than enough,” I determined, feeling grateful that she at least explained her work deeper to me.

“She got in your head.”

Monroe's words were lowered between us, a darkness weighing them down.

“A little,” I admitted honestly, letting out a soft sigh, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, Liberty,” Monroe didn’t hesitate to say, running her hands down my back, “She knew what she was doing today.”

I hummed, briefly closing my eyes. “Yeah,” I whispered, “But let’s not do anything drastic, please.”

“Of course,” Monroe agreed, a little too easily if you ask me.

“Not my drastic,” I clarified, pulling back from her to meet her stare. “I mean, your level of drastic. No harming anyone.”

Monroe was silent for a moment, and that’s how I knew I had clarified properly.

“Ro,” I said, reaching up to gently grab her chin. “No harming anyone,” I emphasized again, staring so deeply into her blue eyes.

She nodded wordlessly, her soft lips parting slightly, but nothing came out.

Almost like she was battling her internal thoughts, and then what I was currently telling her.

“No harming anyone,” Monroe finally said, tilting her head with furrowed brows. “When does this agreement no longer apply? She sat next to you today.”

Monroe pulled me against her before I could respond, burying her face in the crook of my neck.

“She sat next to you today,” she repeated again, letting out the deepest sigh. “I’m desperately trying to be who you want me to be, Liberty.”

“You already are who I want you to be, baby,” I didn’t hesitate to assure her.  

“But for how long?” she whispered so softly. “How long can I be this moral person you want?”

 “Baby steps,” I murmured, gently squeezing her waist. “Soon it’ll be your mindset. We don’t have to remove anyone to live peacefully.”

Monroe remained silent, not agreeing or arguing with my statement.

She just stood there pressed against me, her breath gentle and warm against my neck.

I let out a deep sigh, gently rubbing her back as she relaxed against me.

“I always get you, baby,” I whispered softly, hoping she could feel my support.

I know her head can be a lot for her sometimes, especially after what she told me today about feeling like an impostor inside her own body.

I wish I could help her more.

Monroe sighed deeply, squeezing me tighter against her warm body.

I didn’t say anything else.

I just stood there, rubbing her back and allowing a moment of stillness for us both.

Minutes passed by quicker than either of us could process.

Eventually, Monroe pulled away to get started on the chocolate cake.

I wanted to talk more, but she looked genuinely exhausted by our conversation alone, so I decided to give it a break.

It had already been a long day for her, and now I just asked her to go against her own instincts.

I decided to give her some time to herself, heading upstairs to study some more.

But there was still a lot at the forefront of my mind.

I wasn’t sure if Dr. Kincaid would make it out of this alive—not if she doesn’t leave me alone.

I can only restrain Monroe so much.

Maybe I need to talk to Dr. Kincaid—lay it out that I know what she’s been doing and tell her that it’s not going to happen.

At least for the sake of saving her life.

I don’t think I can endure another “accidental” death.

All I have to do is get Monroe on board, which feels nearly impossible.

But that’s the only way we all make it out of this unscathed.