I had a shitty shoot..
Added 2018-07-12 07:52:56 +0000 UTCSo i'm not really too sure how to start this post off but I think I will start from the beginning.
One of theis months planned Photoshoots was Monica from DDLC and I was planning on doing it 11/07, but when i tried on the costume I found the blazer was waaaaaaaay too big and it just wasn't going to work until I get a replacement.
I still had the studio booked and payed for on 11/07 so I decided to shoot Chocola from Nekopara instead! I styled the wig and tried on the costume on stream and everything!
Everything should have been fine. I went to the studio, put on the costume and wig and was ready to go. I looked at myself in the mirror and felt like I just didn't look right. I brushed it off and put it down to bad lighting.
I went to the shoot area and tried to take some selfies and videos to post while Luke set up the equipment. Even with super cute Snow App filters, I didn't feel right.
I when I looked into the camera, I felt hideous. That feeling just kept growing and growing, until I started to feel anxious and easily irritated. I stood in front of the camera and tried to smile, tried to be energetic but my confidence was at rock bottom.
I rarely talk about it and it doesn't happen to me very often anymore, but occasionally I will have days where I feel like the most hideous person on the earth. This time it hit me at the complete wrong time and the anxiety built up in me so much that no matter how much I tried I could not shake off this awful feeling.
I looked at the pictures Luke has taken and just started to cry. It was obvious my poses were forced and not genuine, which made me feel like I looked even worse.
In the end after I started crying, I knew there was no coming back from that and I decided to leave the studio with no photos.
I wasted not only my own time and money, but Luke's too. And yours. I'm sorry that I have failed to bring bigger and better content to you all.
I look at those same photos today, and I don't feel hideous. The photos arn't good by any means and have no chance of being posted BUT at the same time I don't feel like crying just because I don't look 100%. I'm passed it today, and ready to get up and try again.
Sorry about this failure, and sorry about this rant. I just wanted to vent a little~
Comments
Relax, Sophie. -Lee! :)
2018-07-18 04:31:10 +0000 UTCIt’s okay, Sophie, I totally understand how that feels.. I have these days myself, today for example.. I feel so stupid too
2018-07-17 13:03:32 +0000 UTCIt's ok to have off days! You'll be ok! Keep fighting the good fight ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Lina
2018-07-16 19:52:31 +0000 UTCAbsolutely no need to apologize! You are a beautiful, wonderful, and kind person. We're all have bad days. I always feel better when I let my friends know how I'm feeling when I'm down. And we in this patreon are just that, friends. Super glad you feel better and I think that chocola is super cute!
Chad Shipman
2018-07-12 16:36:00 +0000 UTCNo need to apologise!! Bad days happen to everyone. But good to hear you are feeling better now! 💜💜
2018-07-12 14:17:37 +0000 UTCIt's okay, Sophie. We all have days where nothing goes well. Glad you feel better now. <3
2018-07-12 11:30:49 +0000 UTCNo worries peach. Everyone has those days where we don't feel pretty enough. Ha, I know I've been there. Also, you do a lot for patron and I'm sure your patrons understand. You rock peach!
Malinda Williamson
2018-07-12 11:04:37 +0000 UTCWe all will have those days, you're human and you're not a failure! We love you, keep your head up and never give up on yourself 💗 Also you're beautiful inside and outside, I hope you feel better and will have better days ahead of you.
2018-07-12 08:54:59 +0000 UTCDon’t worry :( everyone has days like this. I hope you can get back there to try again, I also hope the feeling will go away fast. You always have amazing content in my opinion. I’ll always cheer you on even if you don’t feel the best. Keep fighting on fighting and please don’t give up ^^ ❤️❤️❤️❤️
2018-07-12 08:51:19 +0000 UTCI think in the end as long as the Rikku shoot goes well this month I will be happy, that one is really really important to me.
Peach Milky
2018-07-12 08:25:58 +0000 UTCKnowing a break is coming up is both good and bad! In one way, yes I can have fun and not worry about stuff! But then there's the other part of me that is like "YOU DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT!" hahaha
Peach Milky
2018-07-12 08:23:36 +0000 UTCNext time will be better! I'm positive!! I just hope I can finish it in time!
Peach Milky
2018-07-12 08:22:32 +0000 UTCYou are so right Lily. I hear so many other content creators say "The shoot for this video didn't work today so i'm just gonna scarp it and try again!" and they are fine with it! But when it happens to me I begin to panic and feel like the world is ending, which is really silly! I'm trying to work on being more calm when things go wrong.
Peach Milky
2018-07-12 08:14:30 +0000 UTCI agree never ever apologise for things that are way outside your control! You can not control how you are feeling it just happens. You also didn't fail, you had a bad day shit happens and one bad day isnt a fail. Hopefully today will be a good day, and then tomorrow and then the day after and this will become a distant memory. You are awesome!
2018-07-12 08:10:50 +0000 UTCOne bad day certainly doesn’t make you a failure. I’ve had my share of bad days and the most important thing is not to let it hold you back the next time.
Oisin Keller
2018-07-12 08:10:05 +0000 UTCBad days remind us to enjoy even the most mediocre good day. Also, I think it is completely understandable to feel this way with a vacation coming up. I think the up coming trip will do you both some good. Keep your chin up, girl.
Eric Bloxsom
2018-07-12 08:03:06 +0000 UTC
