XaiJu
akabur
akabur

patreon


Girlfriend trainer.

Let's talk about my personal experiences with haterism.

Over the years I received thousands of hate messages and emails. And I literally mean THOUSANDS!


At the begining (years ago) I would always tell to myself: "Calm down, comrade. You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks". And would just let it slide (unless I was stupid enough to actually reply to those).


But as time went by my emotional response to the whole thing has gotten weaker and weaker... After a while not only I lost an ability to hear "the barking" but I had hard time even noticing "the dog"... My feelings in that regard has gotten sort of numb I suppose...


And I think that is just a natural order of things. You know, like when you visit a Disney-Land for the first time - it's pure magic! (Or whatever). But if you were to work at one and had to visit it every day, you would lose the ability to perceive "the Disney magic" in a matter of days. This is a crude example of course, but I hope it get's my point across.


So haters have a job to do - they hate. And receiving that hate had become a part of MY job. And as a result, it is just a routine now that doesn't trigger any emotional response in me. Not that I am complaining or anything, that is a good thing I think.


But here is what interesting: I receive plenty of supportive messages and emails as well. Not as many as the hateful ones, but still. Again, over the years I think I have gotten more then a thousand of messages and letters with all sort of positive feedback an encouragements. Some are short, other are quite lengthy. Some people just say "I love your work, keep at it!". Others describe their personal experiences and how my work had affected their lives, inspired them or made it easier to get through some hardships in their personal lifes.



And here is the interesting part. Like I said, the hate seldom gets through to me anymore and it is normal considering the sheer amount of it I have received already. But the massages with positive feedback and encouragements ALWAYS (!!!) get to me. No matter how many times I hear it, it is always an emotional experience to me! And I am very grateful that despite all the experiences I went through, seeing my work being appreciate always makes me feel like if I am still only at the begging of my path, like if I'm a little boy again and one of my friends picks up one of my drawings and says: "Hey. This drawing looks cool! Did you drew it!"


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And please don't get me wrong I'm not saying: "Go send me some thank-you notes NOW!". No way, I'm just sharing my thought on the whole matter. And those "thank you" notes should wait till the "PT:GOLD" release anyways :)



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Oh, and by the way, I get messages from the girls as well. Girls are usually way more hesitant to actually sit down and write to me that they actually appreciate my work. And when some of them do, I often reply with: "Support my work by sending me some tits that I could tweet later, please", and it usually becomes the end of it. But still, I have a feeling that the female audience for my work is rather extensive. Although playing my games in secret and openly admitting to enjoy them is two very different things.



And now to the news...


Well I've been doing my first "PT:GOLD" play-through for the past several days. Ideally that should've been an extremely enjoyable experience for me because it's always a big pleasure to see something you worked on for a long time finally coming together... In reality it was quite opposite though. If I were to use one word to describe the experience I would go with "irritating".


Tons of bugs, wrong labels, wrong variable, wrong everything! But I made it through eventually, taking notes and eradicating the bugs on the way. So yeah, first official play-through has been completed successfully. Now I will have to do the same thing again. This time around I will make sure to use different approaches, routes, choices and try to complete quests in different order to make sure the game still works that way and story consistency remains intact and such.


As I do so I will be also working on CG gallery, will be putting in the triggers that unlock the CGs and all that. But the major thing I will be working on is the music and sound effects. As you know I don't go too deep with the sound effects, but still you would be surprised how much work it takes to make sure every scene is supplied with the fitting music and occasional sounds.


Well that would be my plan for the near future. As soon as I finish playing through the game for the second time, adding proper galleries, music boxes and such, and adding the music and sounds into the game - next big step will be sending the game to DAHR and Xaljio for testing. Now THAT would be a really big step towards the release!


Oh, and one more thing that will take a lot of work (not on my part, thankfully) is the proofreading. I already started to send the files to Lyk, but there are quite a few of them, and proofreading them properly will be a time-consuming task no doubt...




Alright, that's about it for now. Thank you for your support.



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*The screenshot is from above is from some forum thread the link to which some kind soul sent to me a while back... Don't worry there were plenty of hateful messages as well, but like I said, I'm having hard time registering those :)


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Girlfriend trainer.

Comments

AKABUR Where to find the continuation of your amazing game - "Princess Trainer" Or are you still not finished working on it?

Dmitry

Superior

Phranger

I honestly don't get people saying that WT is bad, I actually prefer it over PT, not that PT is bad or anything, just that I'm more of a Hermione type of guy.

I've been loving you work now for a few years, but never really got involved. I love your art style, and the game play is awesome in PT and WT. I play the shit out of them. I hope to contribute in the future once I get over some personal financial issues.

jallen776

Noted!

AKAMAN

Just gonna toss out there that if you need playtesters I'm willing and able!

Dinker

Is that a yes or a no?

Nordicberserk

You worked hard, you have a talent. It's well-deserved, man. Many people can draw intercourse, not many can, like Tarantino, put 2 or more people in a room and make them talk. You can do both things.

Freddy.Simmonds

Nah... DAHR and Xaljio should do just fine. But I will release the game exclusively to you guys first, and will let you to test it some more before I release it to the world after fixing whatever bugs you uncover, so in a way YOU ALL are my beta testers.

AKAMAN

Your english is fine, mate. And support comes in all sorts of shapes and forms. If all you can spare at the moment is a kind word, then I am taking it humbly and gratefully. Thank you!

AKAMAN

^_^

AKAMAN

Here: <a href="http://www.hentai-foundry.com/pictures/user/RUBAKA" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">http://www.hentai-foundry.com/pictures/user/RUBAKA</a>

AKAMAN

No offense, but I absolutely.. well I can't even say hate. I am so utterly nothing at that anime. I hope you find the game you want but I hope Akabur spends his time on things I personally enjoy. Yes, it's totally selfish, but there it is! :)

Dinker

Is there links for your stuff i wanna know where to find it

Cratos

Asking for tit pics right away Seems a bit d-bag-ish to me. Perhaps wait til the second message ;) you might get more. And Im happy about PT:G is now in playtesting state. I vollunteer to help! ^_^ I might find some typos or something ar least

Nordicberserk

FOR SEVERAL years I am fond of this kind of games , I can assure you that your two games are among the best at what I could play ( princess trainer and witch trainer ) . I m sorry i m french and i m bad in english. I don't have any money for support you. :( i don't have job but i hope you continue your good job. Courage et bonne chance pour la suite. I waiting your Princess Trainer GOLD EDITION with eagerness.

TiblatCapu

MM Maybe It would Of Been Good If YOu Had a Select Group ie 10+ Supporters Be Beta Testers ( Players/Bug Reporters ) Than Have Them Report THeir Findings to You In a Message Note You MIght Want them TO be Detailed And Descriptive In their Reporting The Bug The Location etc Than You could Fix the Bugs up Would Save a lot Of time And Effort on your Part In Releasing a Buggy version

I give a damn about your work, bet on it! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

MAW CG threeD Art

Well, Lola is naive too, but she's also dirty minded. While Hermoine was naive and innocent to start off, she does eventually become more slutty but Lola kind of started off that way. Well, except for that one comic you drew of her being blindfolded.

Joseph

Usually, but not always... ^^

AKAMAN

Yeah... the ask.fm sort became a home-base for all sorts of idiots... Sadly...

AKAMAN

Heh... That is true... But if I can say that I have any success that is because you created it for me by taking interest in my work. Thank you for that!

AKAMAN

I know 0_0

AKAMAN

This all I needed to know. Thank you!

AKAMAN

Thank you, my friend. You are too kind ^_^

AKAMAN

Heh... Thank you, my friend. ^^ As long as you guys will continue give a damn about my work, I shall keep on working!!

AKAMAN

I'll think about it.

AKAMAN

Sure.... But also there is another theory: some people just assholes. Heh... :)

AKAMAN

Akabur, you create a very interesting game. I like your art!!!

Sasha_U

Heh... Thanks man. Always nice to know that there are some cool girls out there who appreciate the work we all are doing here.

AKAMAN

People just.... People....:(

AKAMAN

Thanks man. T_T

AKAMAN

Hm... Interesting. Lola in PT gold will change that :)

AKAMAN

I appreciate it. Although let's go for gingerale instead.

AKAMAN

^_^

AKAMAN

I know. I don't doubt you, guys for a second.

AKAMAN

Yes something like that

Teodor Angelov

Hokage=Genie, Sakura/Hinata=Hermione

Shawn Dee

Akabur your games astound me, they are the only ones of their kind, I can pull up a few hundred jrpg turn based hentai games, or a dozen run or rape games, most of them with varying art styles and its really jarring to go from 1 artist to the next, but your games are immersive, its porn, but its immersive porn I can get lost in the story you are trying to tell and that kindve interactive narrative is a cut above, keep up the AMAZING work and I look forward to PT Gold.

Connor

As one of these patrons which occasionally drop in to throw some money at you and then bug out again I can say - I just think your games are great. Sure there will be haters, because this and that - but sure there are lovers of your work as well and at the end, every positive and even negative response is good since you can use them all to do what you are doing at the moment ... PT:Gold and whatever will come into the light after that ... :-) ... come to think of that ... a Girlfriend Trainer would be kinda interesting ... ;-) ) ... Just keep up the good work!

MAW CG threeD Art

yes why not ? you talk like you talk about you need a miracle or its the Mission: Impossible 100 !!!

ayakorfed

Dude im not a patron sorry about that i will try to be but i have a stupid idea in my mind i want to share it with you.I was thinking of Ninja Trainer i you haved watch Naruto and that stuff it will be actually pretty damn good it's like your naruto or maybe sakura i'dont know and your in the villege hidden in the leafs and you go make missions just like princess trainer or you can be in the Hokage office (just like Witch trainer)and give orders fuck bitches make them bitches and every thing i don't know if you like it reply and have a nice day ;d

Teodor Angelov

Haters going to hate and lovers will love and we all love your work.

Hivedragon

...exactly.... <a href="http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view2/3934654/jiraiya-s-hands-o.gif" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view2/3934654/jiraiya-s-hands-o.gif</a>

Rosconi

>>still jerk off to Witch Trainer Yeah! I'm not alone >:D

Danlorn

Thanks. And thank you for your support and understanding.

AKAMAN

Right here, buddy. <a href="http://www.hentai-foundry.com/user/RUBAKA/profile" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">http://www.hentai-foundry.com/user/RUBAKA/profile</a>

AKAMAN

That is a good advice actually! Thanks :)

AKAMAN

Or you just like them young. ;)

Freddy.Simmonds

Start working on a new game before "PT:GOLD" is ready for release? What a marvelous idea!!!

AKAMAN

Share personal emails of some of my fans with other? Dude, that would be the lowest of the low things to do 0_0

AKAMAN

keep on. just keep on.

Mazzarotto

hey.... man.... why don't you share with us some of those girl's email? (i bet you got some photos from time to time, you lucky dog)...

Rosconi

Testing phase. . Cool .. I can't wait T_T Keep it up And another thing .. are you starting doing another game or something like that while in TP:GOLD in the testing phase

ayakorfed

Me and some others get confused, where can we find the most recent release for witch trainer and others games?

luke

Nothing wrong with being passionate about your believes, my friend.

AKAMAN

"You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks." Is a grate motto to keep in mind and I very much love your games. I do have some idea how hard it is to make one. I've been trying for years but never seem to get all that far. Anyway thanks for all the work you put into your games and art.

If I bark, it is a bark of approval. Woof woof.

Tor B K

If you ever make it out to Vancouver I will buy you a beer as thank you.

BLAAAAAHHHH

I got something positive and possibly over sharing: I still jerk off to Witch Trainer, because it's just that good. I can't do it with Princess Trainer though, I find myself too emotionally invested in that game . . . Well, maybe one or twice.

Joseph

keep doing what your doing im not going to stop giving you my money because i just love your art and the games

Kei

Never understood the level of vitriol. You're a guy who makes fun Rule 34 porn games........ sure, the games have their issues, but geez!

Agador Spartacus

Never understood the level of vitriol. You're a guy who makes fun Rule 34 porn games........ sure, the games have their issues, but geez!

Agador Spartacus

I'm glad to hear that you still get warm fuzzies at the nice comments :) And that you've grown thick-skinned to criticism. Also, just for census sake, my girlfriend totally enjoys your games, particularly the Hermoine one (she's a total Harry Potter nerd). You keep working, and I'll keep supporting you, man!

callmemusashi

I read somewhere that the reason why people tend to focus on the bad things instead of the good, is that as we evolved as a species we retained a trait to notice the bad things because prehistoric man had to be aware of his surroundings, yes it's good and all that you are in a beautiful jungle filled with beautiful flowers and scenery, but it means shit if a hungry tiger is waiting in the bushes to kill you. So we developed a conscious being to notice the bad because it's a survival instinct we have.

Solus

So much hate means only one thing - SUCCESS.

Freddy.Simmonds

Keep up the great work, Akabur. Polish is important to the overall quality of the game; you're doing well hunting down the bugs. As for the haters, I've seen your ask.fm profile... they are ruthless. You can always depend on your Patreon following for a pick me up when you need one. :)

"And when some of them do, I often reply with: "Support my work by sending me some tits that I could tweet later, please", and it usually becomes the end of it. "

Lyk

Yeah I know, actually my rant wasn't really about what you said, it was more of a general discourse... But then, I shouldn't have "occupied" your board with my thoughts. I guess my polemical attitude got the better of me. Sorry.

Gaetano

But but ! you need bigger board to cover your dick when it flopping around right ? with that little board it just gonna pierce right through it.

Azuliar

*WITHOUT any actual girls participating

AKAMAN

ACE! Thank you for all your supports over the years, man. Time sure flies, doesn't it? 0_0 And you're right: humans are not nice...

AKAMAN

Dude, I only ask the "tittie pics" so that I could hare them with you on twitter and let you know that we have some cool girls out there loving my work as much as you do :)

AKAMAN

True, true... As for beta test, it's still too early...

AKAMAN

Something like that. Well, more like laughing like a crazy pirate.

AKAMAN

Dorago, your support means more to me then you'll ever know.

AKAMAN

You are right. And I don't need $100 from you. Let's not get carried away before I get crushed under some sort of guilt complex or whatever. God, that fucking PT:GOLD thing better be best thing ever! OTL...

AKAMAN

Thanks, buddy :)

AKAMAN

Thanks, man.

AKAMAN

Yes! Soon! SOOOON!

AKAMAN

Thanks, Red!

AKAMAN

Thanks man. With you to back me up, I couldn't care less about anything but keep on doing my thing.

AKAMAN

Size of your wacom is irrelevant. Only size of your dick is important.

AKAMAN

Ha-ha. Thank you man. Although I don't look at it that way... For me you guys are the best, and therefore deserve the best.

AKAMAN

Gotta love the serious discussion about some hypothetical girl's feeling with any actual girls participating. All I can say is that I don't always ask for tits, but when I do, I do it in such a sweet way that quite frankly I am shocked that any woman can ever resist my Slavic charms.

AKAMAN

Yeah... I agree. Thank you, Nemo.

AKAMAN

Thanks man. Really appreciate. Although I'm pretty sure there are no unfinished comics by me...

AKAMAN

It always so nice to get feedack from people who's been following me for years now. Dude, we are growing old together :) Thank you for the years of support.

AKAMAN

Thanks, man ^^

AKAMAN

Thank you Roufas.

AKAMAN

Dunno... I think it also depends on the person. Miserable people rend to be prone to spreading misery I think.

AKAMAN

Heh... Yeah, I know. And thank you, man.

AKAMAN

I have to add, it's really nice to be able to have a serene conversation on these topics here; that's why I posted this comment on the board in the first place, instead of sending a PM. I did not want to give Akabur a lecture (even though I guess it might have seemed so), I am well aware that he was deliberately (and completely righteously!) keeping the "report" as light as possible. I just wanted to share some thoughts and possibly foster a discussion. In conclusion, glad to be here with you guys (I wish I could add "& girls" :p)!

Gaetano

Roufas, the problem here is not "SHOULD they get offended?" but "ARE they offended?"; since apparently the girls stopped replying to Akabur, I would say yes, they were (and if not offended, at least unconfortable). At any rate, some of my female friends complain about this attitude, and I suspect a lot more of them would agree if I asked them. Now, let's say I think that black people should not get offended if I call them niggers, am I entitled to call them that way? What I mean is, sometimes it's not a matter of what YOU think is right (hey, I might even agree with you about the necessity of a more relaxed atmosphere on these themes), sometimes it's just a matter of being sympathetic (and humble) enough to stop insisting with AVOIDABLE behaviours if others feel genuinely offended by them. Because truth is, nobody can truly understand how others feel, so if someone tells you s/he feels feels bad, you have to believe him/her, and avoid thinking "well you should feel otherways": there are no "incorrect feelings". Granted, you might strive to estabilish a different kind of socieity, one where girls don't get offended for these reasons (and I might be your comrade), but since we are presently living in this one, well, respect them. Let's be honest, our freedom to ask for tits is NOT worth the stress it might cause in other people. I would have no right to continuously ask fat people to show me photos of them in bikini just because I am cool with that (or because I think it would be cool if everbody were cool about that): if they are uncomfortable with that, I have to respect them, and stop. Same applies for tits. My two cents.

Gaetano

Honestly, a hell of a lot of the hate you get doesn't even make sense. The amount of work you put into these games is obvious and amazing, and I wish you all the best in the future!

JoeForest

Its easier to hate then to love.

Nemesis Valentine

It is a pleasure to be able to be part of this my friend.

Roufas

Yup, people get offended too easily nowadays. Even comedians get crucified nowadays because they hurt someone's feelings. I kinda disagree with you on the joke he made and personally think people should give less of a fuck about many things (ESPECIALLY when it is obviously a joke), if someone gets too offended about the "tits or gtfo" joke I sincerely hope they "gtfo", be they men, women or whatever other type of sentient being you can think of.. Also women don't need akabur to "get out of the closet" for porn games (what? lol). If they are interested they will play it, if they aren't they won't, you shouldn't care so much wether they will play it or not. You should care that you and I will be playing it instead :D Point, it was a obviously joke, we live in the era of the edgy now.

Roufas

thanks dude big fan of your work just recently pledged but do appreciate the work you do and what you said is right ignore the haters because they will always have a reason to hate...Anyways waiting for the release eagerly...Any ideas on new games?

Sreejith

I've been a fan of your work ever since I first saw your April O'Niel and a certain ninja turtle flash which I forget how long ago that was. Keeping up to date and watching all your work along the years and patiently waiting for PT:Gold is an easy task as you will know what's best and where the bugs are and I know you will come out on top. I just hope the good praise won't get numb for you dude, love your work and keep that middle finger up for haters ^-^ stay well Akabur

Djsp8ey

I have been a big fan of your work for some years now, reading your comics (some of them never got finished though ): ) and playing your games. And i can say that without a doubt, that your work is some of the absolutely best stuff i have played and experienced. The work and dedication you always put into it, the jokes, the well thought out dialogue and amazing drawings always captivates me. So i really hope you will keep doing your thing, and hold your head high while you keep getting better and better, and i hope you never will take the haters serious as i'm sure there are uncountable lovers of your work for each hater. TLDNR: I like your work, and hope you will keep your head up and draw and write your godlike work for many years to come ^^

You know, I'm pretty sure there are a lot of people who enjoy your work and don't send you any "love" but I'm also sure that there is almost no one who is "offended" or whatever who doesn't send you a hate message. So next time you go through your messages, remember there are probably 10 people who loved your work for every hate message you recieve. Love your work can't wait for the release!

Lövet

I have to say this even though I might result unpopular: asking for tits' pics (however "ironic" you intended to be) is not funny, it is rude and in all likelihood offensive, as you yourself could have deduced given that "it usually becomes the end of it". Now, I REALLY appreciate your works, as well as your personal attitude and unyielding commitment; and I, too, believe that your games can be uncommonly alluring for men and women alike, thanks to their great intelligence, taste, artistry, srupulous care and neat irony. That's precisely why I am twice as demoralized as I would normally be (not that you should care about that obviously, I'm just saying): your works might really be a good opportunity for women wishing to get out of the closet when it comes to porn games - but then again, one of the reasons they do not, is precisely this "tits or gtfo" logic that, on purpose or not, you are at least partially endorsing. Sorry, I really felt like it was worth writing this, and writing it on a public board rather than in a PM. That said, keep up the good work, I remain your faithful vassal under the aegis of cartoon pussy, Gaetano.

Gaetano

I know what you gonna do Akabur. You will play your game with trollface saying "Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah I can play PT: Gold Edition and you not! Losers!")) Kidding of course. That thing you said: >>If I were to use one word to describe the experience I would go with "irritating". That's why I probably will never deal with developing of games with boobies. I work as a motion designer (still newbie in it) and every time after several hours of hard work with shapes, scripts, key-frames and other stuff I push "Play" button, I feel myself crazy as fuck. "Shiiiit! How I missed this bug! Fuck me!" I just cannot dare have such attitude to something containing naked females. Hell no. And this is one more reason to greatly thank you for such big sacrifice. Man you go through this hard shit every day for us, little internet jerking-off bastards. So I think all we owe you for that. Thank you very much man. Keep going and be cool. *Hope I will support you with some bucks when I stop being a beggar. Cheers!

Danlorn

Soooooo... are we gonna get a trainer game of your girlfriend in the future ? :^) I kid I kid, <3 btw what kind of cintiq you're using right now, 13HD ? surely you could get a bigger one than the one I saw in your past videos. Gonna get my Cintiq 22hd tomorrow :D.

Azuliar

Haters gonna hater Aka you are doing a really good job and we really apreciate it, stay awesome bro!

Cross

I understand how you feel -being a very sensitive person, I deal with that sort of feelings a lot- and it's a shame for you to feel like this. I know hates and bad comments always get the best over everything else, but you know who you can trust and who will support you. Good luck with the debugging, good luck with everything else, please, take your time and don't trust the haters :) We love you, Browaifu. All of us. Don't let these comments get to you. Godspeed o/

Rwede

Sucks that you be hating on, but you have over 9000 reasons a month to read each letter and laugh hilariously. Glad the game has finally reached the testing phase, It's only a matter of time now.

FooldiverDX

Well thank you anyway, thank you for all the work tou do ! there 's always plenty of Butthurt people that enjoy being mean while staying behind their screens.. I believe they are kind of sick..

Kuraam

Fuck bitches, get riches, you do what makes you happy, we love supporting you and I'm glad you can see the positive in all of it, keep being awesome!

Icy Panda

I would give you 100$ a month, if I could afford it, because your art work is amazing and unique. I'm a Patron of Smersh with BHB because its a good game and your art. Most haters are, and I know it sounds childish, jealous that your making money for your awesome art and they don't have the talent to do so. Keep up the good work and can't wait for PT:Gold.

randylj17

Well, you still will get a Thank you from me even before the game is out :D But it's nice to see that even a small sentence like Keep up the good work, give you the motivation to go on, so ... Keep up the good work and continue to make us dream with stories in the desert or conspiration in magic schools :D

Dorago

So basically, you giggle like an excited schoolgirl every time you see positive feedback ^^

Ainārs (Hoodz)

Man I never listen to haters on the net they don't like it they don't have to play it whining about it won't help also if you are sick of playing the game I'm sure plenty of us would put up our hands to help you beta test it you have a lot of supporters here we can help if you wish it of us

Vega Chaos

Nice to hear that PT:G slowly gets to its release. Haters are annoying but most of them are just jealous or what not. Your fans will always stay your behind you. I don't remember how I found your work but I was like "Damn that's good stuff!" After that I found your name and patreon site. I could say "thank you" many times but those bucks help you more I guess ;) just stay the way you are, do what you love and ignore the haters, focus on the fans. Lucky you with all that tittie pics you may have gotten :D So just leaves me to say, thanks for all the work, tears, sweat (and god knows what other liquids) you put in your work! I'm totally hyped to see PT:G in its full Glory!

Barooth

Glad you are philosophical about it,because envy is a really bad thing, and if you mix it with the cloak of anoniminity that Internet have you get a hurtful hate cocktail. Because they envy you for living the life you want, or earning money from art which must be free or another list of stupid reasons. I would like to say that someday you will get more support than hate, but humans are not that nice. Glad you are in the last spurt, even if it means a few more months of spellcheck and bughunt. Keep the great job and the cool attitude.

Ace


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