XaiJu
Hunter Mythos
Hunter Mythos

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Path of the Slayer B3 45. Halcyon Return & Cooking Anime

We had thirty-seven days until the Grand Generational Passing. Only six days remained before the citadel tour needed to end.

Yet, I was more relaxed than usual as I returned to the halcyon floor in the Crossroads Citadel Realm. I brushed past the notifications in my System Log, observed the egg yolk sunrise on the horizon, and swept my senses for anything dangerous afoot.

Nothing struck me as out of place before I entered the oneness state, my powers syncing up gently with the lesser plane of existence. For a moment, I felt Grimmy’s grand and crushing power before she slipped into oneness just like me.

We traversed the rolling forests, farmlands, and quiet villages at speeds mortals couldn’t comprehend, stirring gusting winds behind us as a slight disturbance to the surrounding habitat and small pockets of civilization.

We even jumped into the sky briefly, whipping through lazy clouds crawling through the air, before going into a glide by fanning out our Path Energy.

By this point, I’d already removed my bonded armor and cursed metal hand, swapping out for casual clothing and a non-cursed prosthetic. I had to focus more to use my Path Energy while glide-racing with my little knight.

When we landed, we struck a large body of water. Path Energy crackled under my feet as we dashed across the surface, leaving white foamy trails behind us.

I could do that now.

I could run on water.

A part of me wondered what Melody would look like if I were to drag her down to a place like this and convince her to use oneness as well. I imagined she would enjoy the experience even if she acted snooty about it.

We would have to see.

“Well! Well! Well! Isn’t it the two stars of our anime, the big brother and little sister!” Merlin bellowed, greeting me and my knight as we entered a lavish mansion estate, the largest in the kingdom, reserved strictly for cases like us.

Apparently, the ignorance of the guards didn’t extend toward the royal family in charge of this little section of the Crossroads Citadel Realm.

The dwelf wizard, draped in flowing robes reminiscent of the Dragon Supremacy, snapped a playful bow from the top of the stone steps.

“I bet you both have something so extraordinarily amazing, you’re going to knock my socks off with the news.” Merlin laughed heartily as he straightened up, his finger pushing his eyeglasses further along the bridge of his nose. “Well, guess what? I’ve been preparing myself. I’m fortified, and I don’t have socks on! You won’t get me this time!”

Grimmy smirked mischievously before letting out a “harrumph!” at Merlin’s proclamation.

I walked up the front steps and gave the dwelf a firm hug. “Nothing bad happened?”

“Other than boredom from being stuck in oneness and not being able to do anything fun, nah, we’ve been chilling. We did some meditation. Talked through a bunch of strategies for dealing with the Embassy of Defilement. The usual.” Merlin took a step aside. “Many of our juniors missed you two.”

“Elder Arden! Grimmy!” Redfang flew out through the large doorway.

Instead of stepping aside, I intercepted her with a boisterous laugh as she hugged and slobbered all over me. Then she did the same to Grimmy.

Following her, the others arrived, each one excited to greet me and Grimmy, even if cases like Weaver tried to act as reserved as usual.

“You leave us all quite curious about your bouts of disappearance,” Weaver said, all eight eyes narrowed with suspicion.

“Worried?” I prompted.

“Worried? For you? Heavens, no. I’m curious about what more you can bring that none of us can ever hope to repay.” The drider sighed melodramatically. “What is it now? How will you shock us further? Elder Merlin has been muttering like a madman over this next ordeal.”

After Velira gave me and Grimmy a bubbly hug, the elf took a stance next to her lover and held his hand. Her eyes sharpened, and so did her tongue. “More importantly, how will we handle our Royal Quest in time? We’ve been thinking we’ll have to go down to the Embassy of Defilement carefully and pick off the Defiled Covenant piece by piece.”

“This is my belief as well.” Weaver patted Velira on the arm as he spoke carefully. “We’re not just dealing with them, y’know? They’ll have their own monsters down there. They’ll have defiled Rankers on their side. That entire floor will be set against us. And it’ll be highly, highly corrupted with defilement.”

“Our faith will see us through, surely,” Kroker said, the half-kobold looking up at all of us from his short height. His presence carried a spiritual weight that wasn’t easy to ignore. “Our faith will be blessed through the God-Dragoness’s chosen one, Sir Arden the Nomad.”

“Maybe if we trick all the Defiled Covenant to gather in one spot … and hit them with a big, big heavy rock, splat!” Redfang suggested, bobbing around our close-knit circle with her usual frantic energy.

“She’s been stuck on the big heavy rock idea. I’m saying it’s dumb. We need a big and deep hole instead! That’ll get ‘em!” Brug said, puffing his chest with overt confidence.

The half-gnoll smacked his armored shoulder, and the half-orc shrugged in return.

Noodles wanted lots of blood and gore, as per usual. Syleth suggested little as she circled around Merlin with grace and adoration. Marnarka voiced her concern about being extra, extra careful.

I noticed the Veterans were holding their silence, staying out on the fringes.

Then Thumper’s royal voice cut through the din. “You got something major for us, Arden the Nomad?”

Standing at the center of the gathering, I looked around at them all. My gaze went skyward next, taking in the sky ceiling.

Knowing how the Realms worked, everything I said could get spied upon. But I also imagined the System would try to interfere against our shared enemies, even if only a little.

“You all know I’m not truly on Path of the Artificer Warrior, right?” I let out.

Other than Grimmy, who was giggling, the juniors looked at me with various expressions of confusion, shock, or growing interest. I gave them a moment for their imaginations to run rampant before saying the next part.

“My true Path will lead us to victory in the best way it can. By being direct and unrelenting. Now, all of you head for the dining hall.” I urged them back through the doors with a wave of my arms. “I’ve already prepared you a feast unlike any other. And when you finish eating, you’ll feel a magic like no other. That feeling is a touch of my true Path, and with that, you can be bolder than ever before.”

“Really?” Marnarka said, gasping, the eight-foot half-minotaur swooning slightly at my declaration.

I grinned. “Yes, really. The same goes for our Veterans. With my power, Elder Sharia will be more than a match for any Veteran down there. And your husband will be safer from harm.”

The half-orc housewife straightened upon hearing that. Her eyes burned into me, looking for any fault, any deceit. Then she let out a huff before saying, “Prove it.”

So, I did.

They all sat at the dining table. All servants were sent away. Then, one by one, I placed down platters of food Grimmy and I had painfully cooked countless times to perfection. They were still perfectly warm or chilled depending on the meal.

Grimmy helped set the wares and glasses properly for each member of our squad. I gave them some instructions on how to best eat, but I didn’t hold the proper rules over them.

Chef had explained multiple times that the rules existed as guidelines for the cook, but the ultimate prize was the pleasure of the consumer.

Then, once everything was set, drinks included, I extended my hand.

Path magic activated: Slayer Feast!

I dropped from 200% Path Energy to 15% Path Energy. I ignored the temptation to don my armor as a golden light erupted out of me and shook the entire dining room. The light was blinding, almost like Grimmy’s Oath, before contracting into each piece of the meal on the table.

The entire room didn’t stop shaking until there were only motes of golden light sparkling above every meal and drink. As for me, a sudden weariness struck me from the rush of power exiting my body.

Grimmy didn’t move to help me, knowing better. I steadied myself with my willpower.

Then with a vicious grin, I took in all the frankly wide-eyed and mouth-hanging looks I could get. Especially from Merlin, who was doing everything he could to hold back the scream that wanted to come out.

But he couldn’t.

“SYSTEM DAMMIT, ARDEN! What now? When did you learn to be a cooking anime protagonist? Did we just switch genres?! Was that you doing the Salt Bae meme! I feel like he just meme’d on us without even knowing it!”

“What’s Salt Bae?” I asked aloud.

I really didn’t know, but it was fun to play along, weaponizing my ignorance.

Merlin roared. “System dammit!”

“Lover, shush, eat, taste, enjoy. You have to taste this!” Syleth said frantically after sampling a caramelized onion ring.

“Oh no. Oh, System no. Please don’t tell me it’s crack-fiend tasty. I can’t!” Merlin tried to lean away, but Syleth’s reach was too long. She shoved the appetizer into Merlin’s mouth.

I couldn’t grin any harder as I watched Merlin’s outrage melt with an overly loud moan. Then he became outraged again. Maybe even more so than before.

He pointed at me, hand shaking, while stuffing more appetizers into his mouth. Green eyes sparkled, brimming, as tears fell down his cheeks, the sheer frustration and joy from the Slayer Feast overwhelming him. He wasn’t the only one crying as they feasted.

“I never knew something other than blood could be so good,” Noodles said, the neko fidgeting as she lapped up from a bowl of soup. “What are you truly, Arden the Nomad? What are you? Nobody has tamed me like this before, nyah!”

“I think I’ve changed as a person henceforth after having this peking duck,” Weaver admitted, the drider licking his lips, one hand gripping his lover’s arm tensely. “I think I’m in love.”

“Elder Arden?” Marnarka murmured. “Is your heart truly set on the Dragon Princess?”

I nodded gracefully. “It is.”

“Okay, then.” The big woman bellowed, breaking into sobs as she ate more from one of the salad platters.

My gaze switched over to the Veterans at the end of the dining table. Sharia was frozen, mouth slack, her eyes stuck on the wall. Zez was curled up in her lap, shivering, while possibly chewing on something that might or might not be cheese-related.

Comments

I am laughing so hard I am crying

Samuel Strode


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