Evan Dorkin

World's Funnest: Fifth Dimension Sequence Script w/Art by Jim Woodring (Pg 30-32)

Added 2023-05-13 03:01:16 +0000 UTC

Sorry it's been a while to get back to the World's Funnest Restrospective, but we're finally in the Fifth Dimension. On the planet Zrfff. I didn't know that Mr. Mxyzptlk lived on a planet called "Zrfff" in the Fifth Dimension until I did the research for the script. I never gave it any thought that the Fifth Dimension wasn't a singular location, I guess that means there's plenty of room to retcon and world-build in there if anyone wants to (or has already done). That's none of my beeswax, I'm a nerd but I'm not a nutjob. If this wasn't a goof comic book that "didn't matter" I wouldn't have wanted to see what Mxy's home looked like. That's a can of worms and a bit of a bummer if the place doesn't meet expectations. I prefer it being a mystery as to where the imps come from, I'd kind of hate to see Bat-Mite waking up on his mother's basement couch with half his cosplay costume on, tired and grasping for his batman alarm clock while knocking over other-dimensional; fast food bags and wrappers. Nope. I'm more of a purist when it comes to this glorious crap, which is yet another reason I never got that much work at DC. Or Marvel. I always tended towards the stuff that "didn't matter", as my DC and Marvel sales record would show (I think the only decent royalty check I ever got from either was when an Alex Ross art book reprinted the Kingdom Come pages from World's Funnest. I am pretty sure I made a few bucks off of the Agent X/Fight-Man stuff when it was included in a Deadpool Omnibus).

Anyway, this was a fun little segment, because for once I didn't have to do any real research (beyond the planet Zrfff). I don't even remember if there were any excursions to the Fifth Dimension in earlier comics, if there was, I never bothered with them. It was a case of making it up. Because the Fifth Dimension didn't have much in the way of Easter eggs or references, the gag mostly rested on old Warner Brothers cartoon tropes, the "reveal" of Mr. Mxyzptlk's first name, and the basic joke that if Mxy destroyed his home dimension, he couldn't be sent back to it. I hoped it would be enough to carry the chapter.

My first choice to illustrate the segment was Jim Woodring. I love his work, which is surreal, and I figured it would be a good match. I'd met Woodring briefly here and there, the first time being at San Diego Comic Con, where I literally shook while introducing myself to him at his table. He knew who I was and said something very nice about my work, which surprised me and made me blush. It did not stop my leg from shaking uncontrollably like I needed to urinate. I really do get that nervous in certain situations, one being meeting cartoonists I greatly admire.

Woodring agreed to do it. If he hadn't, my second choice was Gilbert Hernandez, who I really wanted to slot in if possible, alongside his brother. I still would love to work with Gilbert on something, but opportunities to team up on oddball mainstream projects are mostly long gone.

if you run through the script you'll see Jim didn't follow the script super-closely in regards to how the Fifth Dimension should look, and he didn't go too nuts on the detail work as in his own, personal work (which is how I envisioned it in my head, to be honest, but not what was required, to be fair -- most of us cartoonist-types save their more intense efforts for their personal work, I know that's how things end up with my own comics). I'll admit I was hoping the pages would be a bit more surreal and "squiggly", but overall I was happy with the pages. I couldn't pitch even a tiny fit over anything in this project, I got way more than I deserved or expected from everyone. When I sent scripts out I let contributors know that I was going overboard on details (which is obvious if you read these scripts) but that they were not written in stone. As long as the story and the story-important details got in there, nobody needed to kill themselves going full-on Will Elder. I expected a lot of folks to toss their pages off (although I had my fingers crossed they wouldn't). Especially the more in-demand heavy-hitters who surely had other things they could be working on. Imp-less things. Nobody hacked. Which is one reason I think some people still look back fondly on this comic, while simultaneously still wondering how the hell it actually happened.

The Fifth Dimension chapter looks like Jim Woodring, they're lively and goofy and they're a lot of fun. Tom Orzechowski went above and beyond in laying in all the consonants for Mxy's name gag. It works a bit like an outlier chapter -- similar to Earth Prime -- which is how I wanted it to look and feel (weird, cartoony, and all that lettering taking up blocks of space).

Someone owns these pages and I wish I had at least one of them, if not all three.

Here's the script, have fun:

WORLD'S FUNNEST: LAST IMP STANDING

SCRIPT FOR PAGES 30 - 32 - "THE 5TH DIMENSION SEQUENCE"

WHAT HAS GONE ON BEFORE:

Bat-Mite and Mr. Mxyztplk, the inter-dimensional imps with the magical powers of gods and the minds of five year-olds, had appeared on Earth 1 (during the 60's Silver-Age era) to pester their favorite superheroes, the World's Finest team of Superman, Batman and Robin. Unfortunately, the two imps don't like each other much and they start to argue, which turns tragic when Batman intervenes and is accidentally electrocuted by Mxy's lightning bolts. Things then get out of hand and ultimately the Earth 1 characters, world and universe are obliterated in the ensuing fracas. The two imps then travel to the Phantom Zone, which Mxy obliterates when the criminals there attack him. They next appear on Earth 2 (where the Golden Age DC Justice Society characters are), where again their fantastic powers and immature behavior destroys that "alternate universe". The chase then leads them to destroy several other alternate earths and universes, including Earth-3 (where the Mike Sekowsky-era Criminal Syndicate lives), "Earth-X" (where DC placed the Quality characters) and "Earth S" (The Fawcett Captain Marvel world). Eventually the pair find themselves on "Earth Prime" -- the "real world" -- which in this story will be portrayed with photographs of the real New York City with drawings of the imps dropped in. Earth Prime upsets the imps so much they make a temporary truce and obliterate the "real Earth", which is where we pick up the story. One last plot point that impacts on this sequence -- during the opening Silver Age sequence, Bat-Mite unsuccesfully tried several times to get Mr. Mxyzptlk to say his name backwards, which is how Superman traditionally tricks the imp into returning to his home in the Fifth Dimension. This being established we now find Bat-Mite trying once again to send Mxyzptlk home after catching his adversary in an unguarded moment.

PAGE THIRTY

PANEL ONE

We open on MR. MXYZPTLK and BAT-MITE floating on a white background covered with an exaggerated Ben-Day color dot pattern. (This Lichtenstein-like background will remain whenever we show the imps in this "post-Earth Prime" void, with perhaps some variations in dot pattern-size and color as we go along) Both imps look disoriented and upset after their experience on Earth Prime, Mxy is rubbing his eyes in disbelief as Bat-Mite looks over at him with exaggerated interest.

(NOTE: Mxyzptlk appears as he did in the 60's when he and Bat-Mite appeared in World's Finest)

1) MXY: YECCHH! WHAT A HORRIBLE UNIVERSE THAT WAS! I COULD HARDLY BELIEVE MY OWN EYES --

2) BAT-MITE: OH, SO NOW YOU'RE SEEING THINGS, EH, MXY? THAT'S BAD!

PANEL TWO

Bat-Mite hovers beside a creepy eye chart that hangs in the air as if on an invisible wall. Mxyzptlk peers at the chart suspiciously -- at the top is an ominous eye, and below it, arranged as on a typical exam chart, are the letters: KLTPZYXM.-- Mxy's name spelled backwards. Bat-Mite cheerfully holds a pointer to the chart, which is tipped with a pink hand with it's pointer finger extended to the large "K" atop KLTPZYXM.

3) BAT-MITE: MAYBE YOU NEED YOUR EYES EXAMINED! HERE, TRY READING THIS CHART ...

4) MXY: UMMM...K...L -- HEY!!

PANEL THREE

Mxy throws a slight tantrum and angrily points his finger at the chart, which bursts into flames as the eye on the chart watches in horror and smoking letters fall from it. A frightened Bat-Mite reacts to the flames by darting away and dropping his pointer as he and Mxy shout at one another.

5) MXY: YOU LITTLE RAT! I TOLD YOU, YOU'LL NEVER GET RID FOF ME BY MAKING ME SAY KLT -- PZ -- TH- THAT WORD!!

6) BAT-MITE: AW, JUST SAY IT ALREADY! YOU KNOW YOU WILL SOONER OR LATER!

7) MXY (big): NO!

8) BAT-MITE: PLEASE?! I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND! I'LL GIVE YOU A DOLLAR!

SFX (chart) - FOOMF

PANEL FOUR

To Bat-Mite's surprise, Mxy stands triumphantly atop a round floating card table, at which are three weird, shifty looking alien/imp-like characters. There are two male creatures seated at the table on floating stools, the first wearing a shirt that has the word "CHUM" on it, and the second wearing a shirt that says "PAL" on it. The third figure is a Wally Wood-like girl creature who sits on the table chanteuse-like beside Mxy, wearing a tight red sweater that reads "BOSOM BUDDY". Atop the table, Mxy magically makes tons of paper money fall from the "sky" with a triumphant wave of his arms. The bills all feature his face on them as well as the phrase "IN MXYZPTLK WE TRUST -- ALL OTHERS STINK".

9) MXY: FEH! I CAN MAKE ALL THE FRIENDS AND MONEY I WANT!

10) MXY (smaller): I ONLY WISH MY POWERS COULD KEEP ME FROM EVER HAVING TO GO BACK TO THAT LOUSY FIFTH DIM --

PANEL FIVE

A small panel, tight on Mxy as he snaps his fingers, his entire gesture and expression that of someone ecstatic over coming up with the solution to a long-vexing problem. Above him, an iconic "idea" lightbulb magically appears over his head. (The money, table and friends are all gone now).

11) MXY (big): EUREKA! THAT'S IT!

SFX (by lightbulb) - PAF

SFX (snapping fingers) - CLICK!

PANEL SIX

To Bat-Mite's delight, Mxy fades out within a "burst effect" signifying that he's "popping out" of the scene (see his old '60's appearances for reference). Even though Mxy is popping out, the lightbulb remains in place.

12) BAT-MITE (smallish): HEY -- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

13) MXY: WHY, TO THE FIFTH DIMENSION OF COURSE!

14) BAT-MITE: REALLY?! YAAAY! I WON!

SFX (by burst effect) - POP!

PANEL SEVEN

A small panel on a troubled Bat-Mite, floating alone against the white background and looking up with some uncertainty at the still-floating, lit lightbulb.

15) BAT-MITE (small): I THINK...

PAGE THIRTY-ONE

PANEL ONE

A nice, large shot of Mxy popping into the air above a main square on the planet Zrfff in the Fifth Dimension. He looks happy, despite the fact that all the imps in the area are laughing and pointing at him. Male and female imps in outlandish outfits walk and hover all about the weird place, they're a haughty-looking Park Ave.-like bunch who treat Mxy's appearance with disdain and derision. As for Zrfff itself, it's a surrealistic fantasy-world where anything goes, a bizarre combination of Dr. Seuss, Escher, Flash Gordon and Slumberland -- perhaps with a "#5" motif or pattern if possible. The buildings, stairways, spires, statues, towers, lamp posts and fountains all defy logic and sometimes even gravity. Strange jellyfish and ray-like creatures float through the sky and streets. There are no vehicles present, and not much sense of order to things, Zrfff should look like the kind of insane world that would produce someone like Mr. Mxyzptlk.

1) IMP: WELL, WELL...LOOK WHAT THE ZXNVLX BLEW IN!

2) IMP: I WONDER HOW SUPERMAN GOT THE POOR SAP TO SAY HIS NAME BACKWARDS THIS TIME?!

SFX (imp's laughter) HA HA HA HA etc.

SFX (by Mxy's "burst") - POP!

PANEL TWO

Mxy hovers calmly amongst the jeering imps, a knowing smile on his face as the others clamor around him, gesturing to one another as they laugh and point.

3) MXY: SUPERMAN'S DEAD, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW! SEVERAL OF HIM, IN FACT...

4) IMP: OH, IS THAT SO? WELL, THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, MXY?

5) MXY: WELL, Y'SEE, I JUST HAD THIS SUDDEN REALIZATION THAT IF THE FIFTH DIMENSION DIDN'T EXIST -- THEN I COULD NEVER BE SENT BACK HERE BY SAYING MY NAME BACKWARDS!

PANEL THREE

Several snooty imps stand before the rest of the onlookers as they all contemplate Mxy's words, holding their chins deep in thought, arms folded, etc. The last imp in line looks extremely troubled, he holds a finger in the air as if he's come to a conclusion.

6) IMP #1: HMMM, NO FIFTH DIMENSION, EH?

7) IMP #2: IT MAKES SENSE...YOU CAN'T BE SENT BACK TO A PLACE THAT DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE!

8) LAST IMP ON LINE: YEAH, BUT THAT WOULD MEAN...

PANEL FOUR

A nice, tight evil shot of Mr. Mxyzptlk's leering face, his cruel smile pulled back to reveal his teeth, his eyes dark slits.

9) MXY: EXACTLY...

PANEL FIVE

Mxyzptlk pops back in to the "Ben-Day" void, where Bat-Mite is still floating, reading an old 60's Detective Comics issue beneath the naked, floating "idea" bulb. He's drinking an old Moxie soda from a straw, the pop bottle floating near his mouth. Mxy's sudden appearance startles the Mite, who spit-takes soda into the air.

10) MXY: HI THERE, BRAT-MITE! GUESS WHAT I JUST DID?!

11) BAT-MITE (big): PTHOO!!

12) MXY: I JUST DESTROYED THE FIFTH DIMENSION! SO NOW I CAN SAY KLTPZYXM ALL I WANT! SEE?! KLTPZYXM!

SFX (by Mxy) - POP!

PAGE THIRTY-TWO

PANEL ONE

Mxy casually drifts past Bat-Mite, pretending not to notice the Mite's reaction to his terrible news. Bat-Mite takes it hard, he's crestfallen and stunned, starting to cry he wipes his eye with the crumpled up comic book. The soda bottle, left unattended, floats away towards off-panel.

1) MXY: I ALSO TOOK A SECOND TO WIPE OUT ALL THE NUMBERED DIMENSIONS, EVEN THE ONES WITH FRACTIONS, LIKE YOURS!

2) BAT-MITE: B-B-BUT WHAT ABOUT MY FRIENDS? MY FAMILY? MY MINT IN VAULT BATMAN MEMORABILIA COLLECTION?

PANEL TWO

Mxy looms over a frightened, pleading Bat-Mite, threatening him with a ludicrously large meat cleaver that has the words MITE CLEAVER on the blade or handle.

3) MR MXYZPTLK: HA! WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF, YOU --

4) BAT-MITE: W-WAIT, MXZPYTLK! BEFORE YOU MASSACRE ME LIKE ALL THOSE DIMENSIONS, CAN I ASK YOU JUST ONE SMALL QUESTION?

5) MXY: MMM, OKAY. BUT MAKE IT QUICK!

PANEL THREE

Bat-Mite floats up close to a frowning Mxy, who lowers the cleaver slwoly. Bat-Mite has his hands beneath his chin, and his eyes are wide in an exaggerated show of interest in what Mxy has to say.

6) BAT-MITE: WHAT EXACTLY IS YOUR FIRST NAME, ANYWAY?

7) MXY: OH...THAT. TRUST ME, KID, YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW --

8) BAT-MITE: OH, BUT I DO!

9) MXY: WELL...ALL RIGHT, IF YOU INSIST. IT'S --

PANEL FOUR

Good-sized panel as Mxy calmly begins to say his first name, which is a constant stream of similar nonsense consonants in a balloon that overwhelms the panel -- as well as a flabbergasted Bat-Mite.

NOTE TO LETTERER: I'm writing Mxy's name here and in the next panels as I see fit. If they run too long they can obviously be cut, if they run a bit short for the gag feel free to add a few similar consonants.

10) MXY: KYZTPLKJKZXPLQWKXMNMNMPLZTLKSLZTKTYPLMTPZPKFPY

XKZXMRFMKMSZQZTHPKYXPTLNMNMPLZXYPZTKSZPXKSLZTKTYPSTYRTPYTPLKMXRMZYTKSZPXPZTZPXMLTLZPTNMLKXRXYXPKZTYZTPYLPMYLLLLP -- (etc. as needed)

PANEL FIVE

Same shot. Mxy rambles on, his head tilted back and his eyes closed as he gets caught up in saying his own name. He pays no mind to Bat-Mite, who grimaces in pain and holds his hands over his ears as the balloon/letters overwhelm him. Maybe the balloon physically pushes Bat-Mite back like an expanding balloon filling with air.

11) BATMITE (over Mxy's balloon): OKAY!

12) MXY: ZXPLWKYZTPLKJXMNMNZXYXPTLZTKSZPXKSLZTKTYPLMTPZPKFP YXKZXMKMZNMNMPLZXYPZTKSZPX -- (etc as needed)

13) BAT-MITE (big, over Mxy's balloon): OKAY! I GET IT!

PANEL SIX

Mxy keeps saying his name, paying no attention to Bat-Mite, still holding his ears in pain as he fades out within a "burst effect".

14) MXY:XYPKXMNMNZXYXPLMTPZPTLZTKPXKYZTPLKJSPLWZKSLKZXMZTKTFPYXKMZ -- (etc. as needed)

And so ends the so-called "Fifth Dimension sequence". Our protagonists next travel to Apokolips, as part of "a Fourth World" sequence to be rendered by Mr. David Mazzucchelli.

Previous WORLD'S FUNNEST retrospective posts can be found here. Hopefully the links work. Search "WF retrospective" if I goofed!

- The original pitch for World's Funnest (aka, Last Imp Standing) is here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/worlds-funnest-64684036

- Brian Bolland's cover with original, alternate colors can be found here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/worlds-funnest-65353388

- The Silver Age era script (pgs 1-18), w/Dave Gibbon's inks: https://www.patreon.com/posts/worlds-funnest-1-65064249

- The Phantom Zone sequence (pg 19) w/Mike Allred's inks: https://www.patreon.com/posts/worlds-funnest-66166610

- The Golden Age Introduction part 1: https://www.patreon.com/posts/worlds-funnest-66906681

- The Golden Age Introduction part 2: https://www.patreon.com/posts/worlds-funnest-2-67170515

- The Golden Age era (pgs 20-21), w/Sheldon Moldoff's inks: https://www.patreon.com/posts/worlds-funnest-67320529

- Earth 3 (pg 22) w/pencils by Stuart Immonen and inks by Joe Giella:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/worlds-funnest-3-67916213

- Earth X/Freedom Fighters/Quality Comics (pg 23-24) art by Frank Cho

https://www.patreon.com/posts/worlds-funnest-x-69815979