The 40-pg Donald Duck Comic We Were Going To Write (Until Disney Bought Marvel)

The title tells the tale. 

BOOM! Studios had the Disney character license back in 2010, and I was contacted in September of that year about writing a Duck story. I still have my e-mails from the time so thankfully I don't have to trust to my rotten memory -- the editor contacted me on September19th and we began discussing the basics. We met in-person at the NYCC that year, and we had some back-and-forth on page rates and format after that. I didn't think I had any ideas but then I pitched a basic plot on October 29th:

It involves a Bigfoot hunt and a town gone nuts during same, the mayor and his cronies are perpetuating the hysteria and faking the sightings to drum up tourism and sell merchandise, hunters and townsfolk are teeming the woods and causing havoc for a million-dollar bounty offered by said mayor, Donald and the nephews get caught up in the craziness after emerging from the woods on an ill-fated (for Donald) fishing trip, the hysteria starting while they were unaware. Donald vows to catch a Bigfoot. He gets angry a bunch and the nephew do the nephew thing, only less cloying than some times, because I prefer them smart and cool and funny to overly cutesy and unflappable, myself. At one point, muddied and covered in bramble, he and the nephews are mistaken for Bigfoot and Little Bigfoots (Littlefoots?) and chased. It ends with real Bigfoots (Bigfeet?) and family and Donald et al helping them  and a space ship and possibly a callback to the fishing trip so Donald actually wins a smaller but nice prize. And the mayor's comeuppance. Lots of running around, some adventuring, some nice visuals/geographical points of interest (I always like when Barks shows off some vista in a story, Herge and Tezuka do that, as well, Kirby sometimes, and it helps make things epic even if they're not epic, if you know what I mean), some gags, villains, monsters, chases, a little Barks, a little House of Fun, a complete and satisfying story. Might work on it with Sarah if that's okay as we tend to work the all-ages stuff together.

Hope that sounds decent to you. Hopefully you haven't done a Bigfoot story, there's only eighty-thousand Disney comics out there, so, fingers crossed. I don't think kids would identify a Mothman or a Flatwoods Monster as readily. My daughter's been getting into Cryptids and monster legend stuff and I assume what one kid likes and reads, others like.

The project was approved on November 2nd. It was going to be a series of four ten-page segments. And the rate was set. It was below my rate, but I was willing to take it because I really wanted to write this for our kid. I always liked the character a great deal and I liked the idea of adding a Duck story to my comics list. This was my first encounter with BOOM!'s notorious rates, but it didn't sting as badly in 2010 and it was still more than I was offered to write a Bill and Ted sequel years later.  It was viable. We were sent a box of Duck comics for reference (and fun), which our kid absolutely devoured. Things looked good.

At the time I was working on a cover for Dark Horse (probably The Guild --?) and the Yo Gabba Gabba! comics Sarah and I did for the Oni Press anthology. I don't have a date at hand for when I turned in the full plot breakdown for the four chapters (I edited the work file for typos a while back, planning to post it, so it has a recent date stamp). 

Anyway, things were all hunky-dory. 

Ducks! 

And then they weren't. I was ghosted. 

Sucks!

Sarah and I assumed it had something to do with the license getting yanked. It was a matter of time before Disney pulled everything towards Marvel after they bought the publishing house in 2009. At least we hadn't started working on the actual full script. 

It was a disappointment on two fronts. One, I wanted to do the story. No one likes having a story fizzle out. I had put work into it and had it mapped out to my satisfaction and was prepared to dive into the Barks comics to soak in them a while to see what I could absorb. I jump in all the way when working on a license, I put a lot of time and research into projects like World's Funnest and the Peanuts/Cthulhu Mythos mash-up I eventually wrote for BOOM!. Two, someone could have just lowered the BOOM (har har) on the story rather than just leave things hanging. For all I know the editor was let go, or something nutty happened. Kidnapping, alien abduction. Either way, if you ever become an editor, it's a good idea to clear the decks with your freelancers and let everyone know shit's on fire as a basic courtesy. 

Even more frustrating, at the same NYCC that I met with the editor, I had been asked to pitch a story for the IDW Rocketeer anthology. To make a long story short, I verbally pitched a plot the next day at the show. I was asked for a written breakdown. Which I wrote (and have posted here on the Patreon). And then I never heard about it again. Womp womp womp. 

So I was not feeling all that great about some aspects of the comics industry at the time. Well, okay. Let me amend that. I was feeling even pissier about comics than usual at the time. The loss of the Duck project stung less in a way because there was no hope for using it, the entire line changed hands. The Rocketeer anthologies were published and I'll admit I was bummed out and never looked at them (there was never any heat between me and the editor, as it was someone I'm actually friendly with. Still, though, it was a weird glitch and I wanted to write that story). However, if I had to choose between one or the other to write, in a heartbeat I'd have gone for the Duck gig. Losing it was suckier than losing the Rocketeer gig (suckier's a word writers use, right?). I'm a bigger fan. It would have been a lot of fun. Our kid knew about the project and was excited about it (and it had bigfoots in in, and bigfoots are always funny).

Oh, well. These things happen. Or don't happen. 

But at least these days we can share some of the ones that got away.  

Here's the plot breakdown for this one:

DONALD DUCK: THE GREAT BIGFOOT HUNT

Plot outline for four 10-page story chapters.

Evan Dorkin

Part 1

DONALD DUCK and his nephews, HUEY, DEWEY and LOUIE, are camping out in the woods in the town of Bigfoot Falls, where a fishing contest is taking place, first prize, $5,000. After a day of not catching anything, a frustrated Donald and the three Junior Woodchucks enter town to replace a fishing pole Donald broke in a fit. They are surprised to find the town in a tizzy, people rushing towards the town square. A local explains that a Bigfoot has been sighted in the woods, and the mayor was going to address the people.

In the town square, THE MAYOR presents the EYEWITNESS who saw the creature, the first Bigfoot sighting in the area in decades (Donald is surprised to find out that Bigfoot Falls was named after the creature, he just assumed the people there had big feet and were clumsy). He tells the crowd that he saw footprints, found fur on twigs, and then heard a roar before briefly seeing a large, hairy creature. He presents his evidence to the spellbound crowd, tufts of fur, pictures of the footprints, and a blurry picture of...something. The   nephews think it's probably just a bear (according to the Junior Woodchuck Field Guide on wildlife spotting), but no one pays them any mind when the mayor offers a reward of ten million dollars for anyone who captures the beast, dead or alive.

Suddenly the crowd parts to reveal FRANK DUCK, big-game hunter and star of his own reality series, BRING 'EM BACK DEAD OR ALIVE! He was in town to win the fishing contest for the tenth time, but now vows to catch the critter in the woods, dead or alive, and claim the reward. Donald and Frank Duck have words, and each vows to be the winner as Bigfoot mania hits the town.

Donald maxes out his credit card outfitting his group, buying up expensive gadgets, tools and supplies at the local hardware/sporting goods store...which happens to be owned by the Mayor. The nephews urge caution, but Donald is betting a few thousand dollars against ten million, and won't be dissuaded.

Back in his office, the mayor and the eyewitness share a laugh and a toast as they celebrate. By the mayor's desk are a pair of fake Bigfoot feet, bags of hair, and a furry suit. The Bigfoot hoax they've concocted will make them tons of dough and put Bigfoot Falls on the map. They joke about raising the reward to a hundred million dollars, as there's no way they'll be paying anything out, “Because there ain't no such thing as a Bigfoot”.

As they celebrate, Donald and the nephews trundle through the wilderness, overburdened with equipment and oblivious to the wild goose chase – part of a small army all caught up in the Great Bigfoot Hunt.

Part 2

Despite his nephews suggestions (taken from the Junior Woodchuck Guide), and the sarcastic advice from Frank Duck, Donald stubbornly tries to use the fancy and largely useless gadgets he bought, convinced that their price tags means they must be better than old campfire guff. But these attempts only lead to injury, frustration and broken gadgets, as well as the razzing of other hunters crisscrossing the woods.

The ducks set up their tent that evening, Donald dreaming of what he'll do with the ten million dollars. We see that the woods are filled with tents, everyone in them dreaming of ten million dollars.

If there's room, we can check in on the Mayor and his crony pushing the Bigfoot hoax on the assembled media, selling Bigfoot merchandise to the crowds, etc.

The next day, Donald tracks down what he thinks is a Bigfoot lair but it turns out to be a bear's cave. The angry bear chases the ducks, causing them to lose all of their expensive equipment. They escape the bear after falling into a stretch of mud and rolling down a hill through brambles and leaves. Covered in the leaves and dirt, they look like four brown, hairy heaps, and are mistaken for Bigfoot and “three Little Foots” by overzealous hunters led by Frank Duck and his entourage. They chase the “Bigfoot” ducks, vowing to take them “Dead or Alive” for ten million bucks!

Part 3

Running from Frank Duck and the hunters, the ducks jump in a river to wash off the mud and prove they are not Bigfoot and three Little Foots. Donald and Frank Duck trade insults until the nephews realize the river rapids are taking them towards Bigfoot Falls.

The ducks go over the falls – but instead of falling on rocks, they fall on something soft at the bottom – a real Bigfoot and his three sons bathing in the waterfall. The creatures are on a fishing vacation of their own, a regular family tradition going back generations (which explains the original Bigfoot sightings in the area over the years). They use a campsite in a cave hidden behind the waterfall, and are friendly towards Donald and the nephews.

Meanwhile, the Mayor and his partner are in the woods creating more false evidence to keep the Bigfoot hysteria going, stamping fake oversized footprints and tossing fake fur from a big sack onto bushes and low-slung tree limbs. They make some growling noises to rouse the tired hunters in the area – inadvertently sending them towards the real Bigfoot family and the ducks!

Part 4

The hunters and media folks are converging towards the area where the hidden cave is. Worried that Frank Duck might find them, the ducks have to help their new friends escape.

For a moment Donald contemplates calling to the hunters so he can show up Frank Duck and claim the millions. But the nephews – recognizing Donald's evil smile -- dissuade him, reminding him of how awful it felt to be chased by the hunters.

They leave the cave to try to evade the hunters and get the Bigfoot family to their vehicle. Moving through the woods, leading the way in case they're spotted, the ducks come upon the Mayor and his cohort. The nephews sneak around to see their Bigfoot hoaxing supplies, and the scam is revealed. Before the villains can harm our heroes, Bigfoot emerges from the woods and shoves  fish into their mouths before they can yell for help. Donald and the nephews come up with a plan to shake the hunters off the trail of Bigfoot and family – covering them with mud and the fake fur, then sending them running in a panic from Bigfoot's terrifying, tooth-revealing roar.

While the now-crazed hunters chase the Mayor and his helper, the real Bigfoot and company reach their vehicle – which turns out to be a small spaceship! The family is from another planet, where the fishing is lousy. As they say their goodbyes, Bigfoot gives Donald and the boys a huge fish as thanks for their help.

Later, back in town, there are two big media stories unfolding: Donald Duck has won the fishing contest with a monster-sized fish (and the prize money is just enough to cover all the equipment he bought). And Frank Duck has captured the two villains who masterminded the Great Bigfoot Hoax – even though the Mayor and his pal now swear there was a Bigfoot in the woods for real. No one  wants to hear talk of such nonsense, and when a local runs into town to tell everyone that he saw a spaceship flying over Bigfoot Falls, he's dumped into a fish barrel. Only Donald and the nephews know what really happened, and they're not telling any stories.

THE END.