Rejected Slides

Hello Drip! This is Conor Lastowka. I am taking a break from responding to Pusha T's scathing Disembaudio diss track to peel back the curtain for you. We are just TWO WEEKS out from our Space Mutiny live show! 

Besides the shorts and the features, the other fun part of these live shows is the pre-show slideshow that Sean and I put together. We've been doing these, I think, since the first show, and it's a great chance to use some jokes that wouldn't fit in the live show or that the performers outright refuse to say. 

The pre-show is a unique situation. Usually at RiffTrax, our scripts are 100% whatever we want to say: not subject to focus groups or corporate standards and practices. It's fantastic, we can really say anything. For example: The swimming rabbit that attacked Jimmy Carter 1979 was a time-traveling cyborg sent back in time from 2043 in a joint assassination attempt by the newly merged VerzionSnapchatKeebler Corporation and President For Life Lil' Tay.

It's going to be great. Space Mutiny is a ton of fun, obviously but on top of that, check out this still from the short we are doing! 

It's got a cymbal monkey! How can you not want to come see that?? 

See? Insane! And nobody's stopping me! But since these slides are technically part of the "pre-show" they are subject to approval from the theaters that our actual show script is not. Which means that every now and then, a slide or two gets rejected for various puzzling reasons. This time, four got singled out, let's see if we can identify the reasons they were not allowed?

OK, this one is actually pretty clear...

Shockingly, insulting the concession stand candy, even one as universally acknowledged as terrible as Sno-Caps, is off limits! Fortunately, we plan on stopping the movie at the half way mark so Kevin can deliver an eight minute, profanity-laced tirade about Raisenettes to make up for it.

I guess that dissing another movie related company might not make sense for the theaters, although, I have to imagine even MoviePass would acknowledge the 14 trillion figure is a little on the conservative side.

This one I am baffled by. The only thing I can think of is that they luckily have not read the book or seen the movie and assumed that "gunting" was a slang term for something disgusting.

So there you have it! Four slides you will not see in our pre-show. Luckily we have like four dozen more ready to entertain, or at least provoke weary sighs and watch checks. See you in theaters in two weeks!

-Conor

This post originally appeared on Drip on May 31, 2018.