Ace's Last Thoughts (Short Story)

!!WARNING!!

mention of blood, guns, injury, death, and suicide

     Getting shot is not as painful as people think. It feels like a wet hole that breathes new air, but not painful. Maybe that's the adrenaline though- Ramsey said that when he was shot he didn't feel much because of the adrenaline. It just felt like a bite.

     The difficult part was breathing. It had become more and more difficult as Ace had turned on his stomach to drag himself closer to the front door, only to be taken by the ankles and dragged backwards by two large hands. Like a paintbrush, he left a thick stroke of red behind on the carpet before his legs were set down again, then the frantic man behind him abandoned him once more.

     Unable to turn himself, Ace stayed on his stomach with his cheek against the carpet. The soft flooring turned a wet red as Ace strained to get oxygen. His lungs rattled as he took in each breath, and with each exhale he was fighting a cough.

     Is he going to die? He didn't want Gene to see him dead. The image of himself in a casket with the others gathered around… He would rather be cremated. No one would ever have to see his face while he was dead.

     Someone else had to be alive- not just himself and Jeremiah. People survive bullet wounds, so it's possible that one of the others lived as well. But all Ace could hear past his own rattling was sobbing in the kitchen, and the ring of the phone on the kitchen wall.

     He could live. He would wake up in the hospital and Gene would be asleep beside the bed with his arms crossed, probably having refused to leave. Rory and Jobie would be there- maybe playing a game they brought or watching the telly.

     Would he have to stop modeling? Maybe this injury would do permanent damage. Ramsey stopped working after he was shot.

     Gene would be here soon- he may already be coming up to the door. He said he was coming, he would come in and save Ace.

     He might just die though.

     That didn't seem real. Ace dying. Who would cut the boys’ hair? Who would make simple nights difficult with worries? All of Ace would be gone now.

     Ace would never get to be held by Gene’s large embrace again, he would never get awoken by kisses from Rory, and he would never get to feel pretty while Jobie held his face and stared at him. All of that would be gone permanently.

     Gene could open the door any moment though. He could wander in curiously and Ace would get to feel him before dying. Feel the natural warmth of his body and the slow chug of his deep breathing in his chest. It would make death a lot easier.

     Gene shouldn't see that though, what would he do with the body? What if Jeremiah shot him too?

     Dread filled Ace’s chest, and the fantasy of Gene emerging from the front door twisted into fear.

     Was he breathing anymore? He couldn't hear the rattling.

     Gene, how would he live after this? They had been with one another their whole lives. Ace always knew that if Gene died he would kill himself, but what about the other way around? He never really considered it.

     How would Rory feel? What about Jobie?

     If Ace was about to lose his consciousness forever, did it matter? Should he care right now?

     He was still alive now though- was he? He couldn't see anything, it was too blurry. He couldn't hear himself anymore either. Maybe he passed out and he would awaken in the hospital he was imagining. Maybe he was in a coma.

     Any moment now, he would wake up and there they would be. In the hospital with him.